Home for Christmas
Jen turned away from the window and watched her sleeping lover for a moment.
"Sandy, you awake?"
There was no answer.
A little louder, "Sandy, you awake".
A grunt, a groan and a head appeared. Frowning, blinking and looking like nothing so much as a newly hatched bird. A very annoyed newly hatched bird.
"I am now".
"Sorry. Are you in a good mood"?
Sandy blinked again a few times.
"Huh? What? Oh! If you want sex, then yes Im in a good mood but bring coffee first!"
"No, er, its not that. You know how much I love you right?"
Sandy stopped smiling, sat up and rubbed her eyes.
"Oh God! What have you done now!"
Jen scuffed her feet on the floor before moving to sit beside Sandy on the
"My mother rang last night "
Sandy groaned and fell back dramatically.
" .she wanted to know what we were doing on the holiday .".
Sandy groaned again.
" I told her Ill be home for Christmas".
"You what! What happened to our nice romantic getaway! Our trip to America.
The trip that was supposed to be a fairytale of New York!"
"Im sorry, babe, I really am"
Jen ran her hand through her short, dark hair.
"You know how she gets to me though. Makes me guilty. All alone at
Christmas. The she sniffs and talks about what a blue Christmas shell have
by herself. Mama said I could bring you" Jen finished hopefully.
Sandy was working up to a full sarcastic explosion, Jen could tell.
"Just how I wanted to spend my time with you. Not making love. Not
marvelling at the skyline of New York and enjoying a white Christmas
in snow-covered New England. No. Sitting in some winter wonderland in
deepest Hendon, praying for a silent night which I wont get as were right
underneath the main flight-path at Heathrow airport. Whilst your dear mama
asks about me being Hindi and celebrating Christian festivals. Enquires about
my parents even though she knows they disowned me for being gay. And
quaintly asking in my country do they know its Christmas! No matter how
many times I tell her I was born in Bradford!"
Sandy was building up a real head of steam now. Shed leapt from the bed
and was pacing up and down in front of the window. Completely forgetting she
was naked. For a moment Jen lost track of what her partner was saying as
she admired anew the beauty of the woman.
What did I do to deserve her, she thought.
Suddenly becoming aware that Sandy was quiet, Jen blushed.
"Were you listening?"
"Erm, no. I got lost in admiring you" Jen confessed.
"Dont think you can sweet talk me into agreeing to going home for the
holidays." Sandy was practically snarling now.
Jen blushed again and stared at her feet.
"Its not just the holiday", she mumbled, "its the whole of the twelve days of
Christmas, right up to Epiphany."
Sandy didnt say anything. This was a really, really bad sign. She just turned
on her heel and walked to the bathroom.
Jen lay back and covered her face with her arm.
"Damn! I fucked up royally this time. I should have brought coffee."
"No, love", came the voice from the bathroom door, "you should have asked".
"I know mamas a pain " Jen started.
"Its not that, love. Its the whole thing. I hate sleeping in a single bed in your
mothers spare room. I hate being called your little ethnic friend. Youre 32
years old, Jennifer. Weve been together for 8 years, but when we go to your
mother you act like a 15 year old virgin. I want to wake up with you on
Christmas morning. I want to hold you and make love with you. Damn it.
All I want for Christmas is you but I cant have that at your mothers house."
"Oh, babe! I really am sorry. Ill fix it, I promise"
"How? If you cancel now she really will pile on the guilt. I want to be with you.
I want to be with you as your lover, not your little friend. You are my family
Jen. I dont even know if my parents are still alive. My brother said he will kill
me if I ever try to contact any of them ever again. My baby sister could be
married by now. I could be an aunt. I have no-one to spend Diwali with who
understands what it means. No-one who can even pronounce my full name.
Oh love. I know you try, but its not as real to you as it is me. All I have is you.
And your mother takes that away."
Sandy was crying now. Jen wrapped the smaller woman in her arms and
rocked her gently.
"Im so sorry, babe. I love you. I will talk to my mother. If I cant make her
understand we wont go. I swear."
"Hey, if you keep crying like that youll end up looking like Rudolph the red-
nosed reindeer", Jen teased softly.
Sandy sniffed. "God. I think I must be pmsing or something."
"No, babe, youre right to be mad at me. I keep putting it off. I should
have done it long ago."
Sandy glanced out of the window.
"Ok. Well go. But youre driving! Its started snowing!"
"Let it snow, I dont care", Jen said gently nuzzling Sandys neck. "I really
love Christmas you know, when I was a kid I used to say I wish it could be
Christmas every day. I love the songs, putting up the tree, the smell
of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, shouting merry Christmas everybody at
midnight. The whole stupid package. I realise how much it must mean to you,
that you cant be with your family at your festivals .. Cmon lets get breakfast
and Ill call mama".
Three hours later, theyd finished putting up the tree. Theyd hung the rows of
silver bells theyd bought especially for it, up on the housetop. Theyd even
been for a walk over the river and through the woods down to The Little
Drummer Boy pub to have lunch. It was time.
Holding tightly to her lovers hand, heart beating at twice the speed of sound,
Jen waited for her mother to pick up the phone.
"Mama, hi. Its about tomorrow. No, Im still com Were still coming. But
theres something I need to tell you. Sandy isnt my friend Mama, shes my
partner. My lover. Mama . Im gay."
Jen was silent for a long time.
She hung up the phone without saying another word and turned to Sandy,
tears in her eyes.
"Oh, love " Sandy began.
"No", Jen stopped her, "She knew. She said it was about time I let you make
me an honest woman. Shes making up a double for us. She said Welcome
to the family."
Sandy swept Jen off her feet and into a passionate kiss. Falling backwards
onto the sofa.
"Now about that sex I promised you this morning ..".
Ill be Home for Christmas (Connie Francis)
Fairytale of New York (The Pogues)
Blue Christmas LIST #2
Mama Said (Dusty Springfield)
White Christmas LIST #24
Winter Wonderland LIST #25
Silent Night LIST #20
Do They Know Its Christmas (Band Aid)
Home for the Holidays LIST #8
The 12 Days of Christmas LIST #22
All I Want for Christmas Is You LIST #1
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer LIST #17
Let It Snow LIST #13
I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day (Wizzard)
Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire LIST #3
Merry Christmas Everybody (Slade)
Silver Bells LIST #21
Up on the Housetop LIST #23
Over the River and Through the Woods LIST #15
The Little Drummer Boy LIST 14