by
Bard
Editor
Bleu Gato
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyright 20th Century Fox Film Corporation . All original content of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyrighted by the author and is not to be used or modified without permission. All rights reserved.
Contact: bard@xena2.com
Blog: www.xena2.com/blog
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – OUTSKIRTS/ROAD - AFTERNOON
Buffy is a passenger in the large U-Haul truck that her mother Joyce is driving. They are approaching the town that is going to be their new home. Joyce keeps her eyes on the road while Buffy glances around curiously. The road is lightly traveled, mostly delivery trucks and service vehicles. Something, roadside, draws Buffy's attention.
BUFFY'S POV
We focus on the green sign on the side of the road. It is the standard declaration, found in every city in America, announcing to all the census results for the given location. But this is Sunnydale, and things are not the same. The word “Population” is cut in half lengthwise with a long, carmine strike. Written in capital letter above it, in what appears to be dried blood of the same color, the phrase “ALL YOU CAN EAT” is boldly visible. It is definitely not the best or friendliest of welcomes, foreshadowing the true nature of Sunnydale.
BACK TO SCENE
Buffy, turning from the sign to look ahead, sighing
BUFFY
Here we go again.
Joyce, distracted
JOYCE
What's that, honey?
They pass a second, nongovernment issue sign that states “Welcome to Sunnydale” and “Enjoy Your Stay!” under it. It is cheery and unmarked and has a picture of the sun in the background. Around them stretches the main avenue of the town, lined with trees on the sides and the middle. They pass a park and two cemeteries. The amount of vegetation is staggering for California and the place looks quite lovely. Buffy knows better, if only by the amount of the space dedicated to the graves.
Buffy, sarcastically
BUFFY
I bet people kill to stay in this place. And do.
Joyce, demonstrating, gesturing with her right hand as she inhales and exhales
JOYCE
The right attitude is everything. Breathe. Out with the negative and in with the positive. Breathe. Feel the vibe of the place, the energy of life, and embrace the opportunities. It will be different this time; we will make things work. Trust me, you will see.
Buffy, eyeing the third cemetery in a row, totally unconvinced and letting it show
BUFFY
Oh, it will be great. Until I burn a building or two. Maybe worse.
Joyce, irritated
JOYCE
Don't you start …
Pause.
Joyce, calming down, patiently
JOYCE
Tell you what. Walk the streets tonight and see for yourself. I fell in love with the small town feel of this place; you will too. Just give it a chance. Please?
Buffy, voice dripping with scorn
BUFFY
Yes, I will walk around Sunnydale after dark. What could possibly go wrong?
Joyce turns a deaf ear to her daughter's words. Ignorance and Sunnydale go together.
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INTRODUCTION
On the screen, various images of Buffy and the Scooby Gang appear and a voice reads the passage.
BUFFY VOICE-OVER
Into every generation she is born; one girl in the entire world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and the skill to fight against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – STREET - EVENING
A YOUNG WOMAN runs screaming from a pursuing VAMPIRE, right past Buffy. Buffy almost absentmindedly takes out a stake and dusts the VAMPIRE as he rushes past her. She continues walking and talking to herself as if nothing happened.
BUFFY
Be the Slayer, be all you can be, the Watcher said. And the small print about this being for life? Oh terribly sorry, missed that part. Here is a stake, now go get them tiger!
Buffy stops and looks around as the YOUNG WOMAN rounds the corner and vanishes out of sight, leaving her alone once again.
Buffy, cynically
BUFFY
Gee Mom, eight cemeteries, no one out alone after dark, and abundance of cover for nocturnal activity. This is not a town, this is a buffet.
The street is eerily empty. No moving cars, people on evening stroll, or whatever monsters that crawled out of or towards Hellmouth grace the space. A lone figure walks down the street and the night appears to be drawn to it, the street lights dimming and the sparse remaining luminance shirking away. The figure stops twenty feet from Buffy.
The MAN is impeccably dressed, the shoes and the suit easily into thousands of dollars. The MAN is ageless, neither young nor old, and there is something perceptibly wrong with him. Could be the way shadows pool around the MAN, possibly his eyes, or even an aspect of his appearance. Something is not quite right; something is missing or not quite the way it should be. Buffy can't put her finger on it and it is more than a feeling.
MAN, dramatically
MAN
From beneath, it devours …
Pause.
MAN, adding, for effect
MAN
… Slayer.
Buffy, not impressed, cheekily
BUFFY
Oooo, scary. Does it brush and floss? It's like, important.
MAN, smiling cruelly
MAN
I will take everything from you: friends, family, hope. Only then I will take your life. And you will thank me.
Buffy, not impressed, takes the occasion to check and polish her nails, indifferently
BUFFY
You the local Big Mouthy Bad?
MAN
Think bigger.
Buffy, taunting
BUFFY
I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.
MAN
Names have power … Fluffy.
Buffy, under her breath, sarcastically
BUFFY
Thanks mom and dad.
Pause.
Buffy, miffed
BUFFY
Hey, that's uncalled for. The suit custom?
MAN, haughtily
MAN
Savile Row. That's in London.
BUFFY
Want a designer face to match, creep?
MAN, wagging his finger
MAN
Temper, temper.
Buffy, tired of the game and not one for playing, approaches him
BUFFY
I am Robin Hood and your expensive threads are Goodwill bound, unwilling the better.
MAN, bowing with a flourish
MAN
Welcome to Hellmouth, Slayer. I will be around; I always am. Watching you; waiting
And just like that, in a blink of an eye, he is gone. It is as if he was never there to begin with. Absorbed in digesting the encounter and the implications, Buffy does not hear Angel, dressed in his patented black leather jacket, approach her from behind.
Buffy, imitating the MAN's voice, belittling
BUFFY
Welcome to Sunnydale Slayer, I will be your designated villain. Don't those guys ever get new lines?
ANGEL
You don't waste any time.
Buffy, spinning around and backing into a defensive posture, stake in hand
BUFFY
What is this, meet the villain hour?
Angel, eyeing the wooden object wearily, evenly
ANGEL
The heavies know you are here; chattel and bit players will, in time.
Buffy, proudly
BUFFY
I'm way popular that way.
ANGEL
He ordered Luke to test you.
Buffy, curious
BUFFY
The overdressed freakbag of culinary prophecy?
Angel, puzzled
ANGEL
Yes?
BUFFY
Okay. So like, why are you here? Why tell me?
ANGEL
Mutual interest.
Buffy, hoping to get some reaction, putting away the stake and relaxing, bantering
BUFFY
You always talk this much?
Angel, tension gone with the disappearance of the weapon, quips
ANGEL
Yes.
BUFFY
Sweet. So, not telling?
Angel, finally showing some personality, self-depreciatingly
ANGEL
Nah, we quiet, mysterious types tend to mumble vague lines and split.
BUFFY
Typical: leave the girl hanging.
Angel, flirting
ANGEL
Leave the girl wanting more.
Buffy, happily
BUFFY
Totally sweet. Not a villain, huh? Run this: way handsome henchman with a tormented past and a desire for redemption of a life gone horribly wrong?
Angel, chuckling
ANGEL
Close. Friend.
Buffy, feistily
BUFFY
Friend got a name? And I swear: if you make fun of my name, you will eat teeth. I‘m feeling punchy.
ANGEL
A friend that prefers to stay anonymous. For now.
Buffy, theatrically
BUFFY
Argh … men!
Angel, breaking the mood, cautioning
ANGEL
Don't underestimate Luke; one of you won't walk away.
Buffy, pouting
BUFFY
Meeting a girl and telling her she is going to die: so not cool.
Angel, stating a fact
ANGEL
You are the Slayer.
Buffy, pretending confusion, looking over herself and using hands to check
BUFFY
Okay, is there a nametag? There has to be a nametag. Is it on my forehead?
ANGEL
Goodbye Buffy.
He turns and strides away, not waiting for her reply.
Buffy, annoyed
BUFFY
That's it! The next face that appears is getting a kiss from my knuckles.
As of in answer, there is movement in the shadows. Three young men approach and vamp out.
VAMPIRE #1, showing pointed teeth and hissing
VAMPIRE #1
You cost our friend dinner.
Buffy, doing a fist pump, exulting to the night sky
BUFFY
Yes!
Pause.
Buffy, to VAMPIRES, blithely
BUFFY
No snacking around Buffy, fang face.
The three VAMPIRES spread out and surround her.
VAMPIRE #1
You owe us a meal.
VAMPIRE #2
We are going to eat you, little girl.
BUFFY
Like, gross.
Pause.
Buffy, taking the offense and making the first move, grinning
BUFFY
Two out of three vamps don't recommend Slayer. I killed the other one.
She quick draws a stake and dusts VAMPIRE #3 before the rest can react.
Buffy, blowing at the tip of the stake, smiling
BUFFY
Mr. Pointy has 100% daily wood requirement and zero calories. Come and get some.
VAMPIRE #1 & VAMPIRE #2, scared
VAMPIRE #1 & VAMPIRE #2
Slayer!
BUFFY
Yah, yah, don't wear it out. It's like, only my first night here.
Buffy punches VAMPIRE #1 in the face, turning his head from the force of the blow. She sidekicks VAMPIRE #2 with authority and he goes flying back. She closes the distance and stakes VAMPIRE #1. Turning, she beckons the remaining VAMPIRE. He jumps to his feet and unleashes a series of kicks, which she nimbly avoids, jabbing him in return. He finally connects when he fakes a kick and hits her in the gut, nearly doubling her over.
VAMPIRE #2, noticing her slowing down from the pain, mocking
VAMPIRE #2
Did I hurt widdle Fluffy?
BUFFY
Bummer about your knee.
VAMPIRE #2
Huh?
Buffy kicks him in the side of the knee, breaking it. She twirls the stake, showing off as he tries to balance on one good leg.
BUFFY
I have more bad news about your other knee.
VAMPIRE #2, resigned
VAMPIRE #2
Name calling bit too personal?
Buffy kicks the other leg, leaving him with a matching injury and sprawled helplessly on the ground.
Buffy, leaning in, sternly
BUFFY
Spread the word. No one calls me Fluffy and lives.
VAMPIRE #2, objecting
VAMPIRE #2
I'm alive.
Buffy, rolling her eyes
BUFFY
Hello? You are undead; I can take the “un” away, you know.
VAMPIRE #2, sinking into self-pity
VAMPIRE #2
Right, I am just going to crawl away. Not much for sunrises. Which way to the nearest cemetery?
BUFFY
Duh! Slayer, your enemy.
VAMPIRE #2, pitifully
VAMPIRE #2
I am not a very good vampire, am I?
Buffy, cheerfully delivering the verdict
BUFFY
Nah, you suck at sucking.
Putting his head down in shame, he slowly starts to make his way home. Buffy shakes her own sadly at the sorry sight and walks away.
Buffy, pleased
BUFFY
Sunnydale 0, Buffy 1. Now I just have to survive high school.
She does not see Luke step out of the shadows and approach a picket fence. He rips a plank off and heads over to the broken vampire. VAMPIRE #2 tries to move faster, wiggling frantically to augment the action of the arms propelling him, but the pointed wood drives in and finishes him.
Luke, disgusted
LUKE
There is no room for weakness.
Luke, looking over in the direction of Buffy's departure, coldly
LUKE
It ends tomorrow, little girl.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. SUNNYDALE – BUFFY'S ROOM – EARLY MORNING
The room is a mess of boxes, most sealed. The only furniture is the bed. Dozens of shoes litter the floor and few clothes as well, including the ones from last night. The door opens and Joyce comes in, coffee mug in hand. She goes to the window and opens the blinds, sending the sun over to Buffy. Her daughter opens her eyes and blinks at the brightness.
Joyce, taking a sip, over her shoulder as she surveys the neighborhood
JOYCE
Time to face your worst nightmare.
Buffy, sleepily
BUFFY
Being a fashion disaster?
JOYCE
High school.
Buffy, reasoning out loud
BUFFY
Sweet, I can always blow it up. Sadly, that option does not apply to outdated apparel and shoes; that like lives forever in the scarred memory of laughter and ridicule.
Joyce, turning sharply, unsure of her daughter's intentions and taking no chances, firmly
JOYCE
Buffy, you will not destroy this one. Do you hear me?
BUFFY
Cheerleader's honor, mom: no intentional demolition, becoming a pyro, or going Carrie on fellow students. Accidently thou, that is a possibility. The first two, I mean; you are a great mother. And even if you snap and lock me in the closet of worship, I promise not to murder anyone at the prom.
Joyce, playing along
JOYCE
What am I going to do with you?
Buffy, getting out of bed
BUFFY
Keep me?
Buffy, wearing silk pajamas, goes to one of the open boxes and starts rummaging in it; rejected clothes land on the bed and floor as her mother watches disapprovingly for a few moments.
Joyce, springing into action, sets the mug down and going to make the bed
JOYCE
Do I have a choice?
Buffy, pausing to observe her mother and then carrying on with the digging
BUFFY
I say not.
Joyce, sweeping the intruding clothes to the floor, and continuing to make the bed
JOYCE
You can stay.
Joyce looks for the comforter and finds it on the other side of the bed tossed in a crumpled heap. She starts to spread it over the sheets.
Buffy settles on a blouse and unleashes her chaos on another box. Short grunt is her affirmative response to Joyce.
Joyce, conversationally
JOYCE
I will be at the gallery today, have to get it up and running. We are going to live out of the boxes for a while.
Pause.
Joyce, hopefully
JOYCE
Unless a certain someone unpacks them?
Buffy, invoking her status, seriously
BUFFY
Mom, I am a teenager; sloth and laziness are my constitutionals.
Pause.
Buffy, glancing on the disorder prevalent in the room with a critical eye
BUFFY
How am I doing so far?
Joyce, finally finished with the bed, goes to get her coffee, lest it gets buried. Recovering it, she heads over and plops down on the bed, where she examines the room.
Joyce, thoughtfully
JOYCE
Hmm, not enough clothes on the floor.
Pause.
Joyce, casting her artist's eye about, talking it out
JOYCE
Something is missing, it needs … an accent. Got it! We add the takeout cartons from yesterday, for that finishing touch.
Buffy, changing the subject to avoid further ribbing
BUFFY
So … your gallery.
Joyce, beaming
JOYCE
It is wonderful and such luck. The landlord had a vacancy and the price was very reasonable; seems the commercial properties in Sunnydale have trouble keeping tenants.
Buffy, snarky
BUFFY
Why am I not surprised?
Joyce, suspiciously
JOYCE
You know something?
Buffy, innocently
BUFFY
Oh, nothing.
Joyce, letting it go but not without a qualifier
JOYCE
You will be good today?
Buffy, placing a hand over her heart, pledging
BUFFY
I will be an angel. A white angel, totally overflowing with love and care for others, not an angry black-winged, avenging one, bringing doom and pestilence.
It is obvious that Joyce does not trust Buffy's oath.
JOYCE
Just so we are clear.
BUFFY
Way clear. Crystal clearance clear.
Joyce, standing up, accepting this is the best she will get out of her daughter
JOYCE
Dress and I will drop you off.
Buffy, fondly
BUFFY
You the best, mom.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – MORNING
STUDENTS funnel into the front entrance. Small groups from various social groups congregate on the front lawn, delaying the inevitable start to the new year of classes as long as possible. Busses and arriving cars add to the pedestrian, bike, and skateboard traffic arriving at a steady clip.
Joyce pulls up to the curb and puts the gear in park. She turns to Buffy.
Joyce, admonishing
JOYCE
Be good, honey.
Buffy does not say anything, just releases her seat belt and gets out. About to walk away, she faces the window.
Buffy, dropping the mask a little, warmly
BUFFY
Wish me luck.
JOYCE
Break a leg.
Pause.
Joyce, adding with a smile
JOYCE
Your own.
Buffy smiles in reply and joins the STUDENTS in their march to enlightenment.
Two students, Xander and Willow, catch her expression of joy and follow her movement with rapt interest. In Willow's case, there is more to it; she is smitten.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – MORNING
Xander forgets to watch where he is going and skates right into the football team. The result is predictable. They pick him up and deposit him in a metal trash can lined with black plastic bag. Soon, only his legs are visible, kicking wildly. His skateboard joins him.
Xander, muffled
XANDER
Ouch.
Buffy, not realizing she was the cause of Xander's crash, amused
BUFFY
Ah, the bonfire of the geeks, starring the jocks. Yep, this is high school just the way I remember it.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – MORNING
Willow notices the incident with Xander peripherally but ignores it as she comes to a stop and stares at Buffy. She stands there like a statue on the sidewalk, gazing openly.
One second she is alone and the next a MAN is at her side. He is the same one that met Buffy last night. He has changed suits, but the outfit is as expensive and exclusive as the other one. Willow does not notice the MAN.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – MORNING
The STUDENTS flow around the MAN, subconsciously aware but visually not perceiving anyone. There is a weird, open space by Willow as the STUDENTS walk past her without bumping into the MAN. She stands still, watching Buffy.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – MORNING
The MAN is clearly visible again, right next to Willow. He leans in.
MAN, whispering in her ear, conspiratorially
MAN
You want her …
Willow, startled, rips her eyes from Buffy and looks at the MAN, stammering
WILLOW
W-w-what?
Pause.
Willow, the words sinking in, blushing and putting her head down
WILLOW
No!
MAN
… to notice you?
WILLOW
Who are you?
MAN
The blonde eye candy comes with a Buffy tag.
Willow is about to ask him more when Cordelia crashes into her, sending her sprawling to the ground. Behind Cordelia trail the CORDETTES.
Cordelia, insincerely
CORDELIA
That's like way clumsy of me. Seriously, so not looking and totally walking into a crazy person talking to the air. How are the voices today, Willow Rosenberg?
The second accident attracts Buffy's attention or maybe it's who. The CORDETTES are laughing as she comes over and extends a hand to Willow. Willow initially accepts until she looks up and sees Buffy. She withdraws her hand as if burned and clumsily scrambles to her feet. She beats feet to Xander and his trash can of misery.
Buffy is lost as to what just happened but does not have time to dwell on it as Cordelia rounds on her.
Cordelia, taking Buffy's measure, critically evaluating her attire and behavior, snobby
CORDELIA
Willow is the loser other losers aspire not to be. You are in the presence of Cordelia. You are?
Buffy, daring her to make something of it
BUFFY
Buffy.
CORDELIA
Unfortunate.
BUFFY
My first impression of you.
Cordelia, seeing no weakness, impressed
CORDELIA
It has bite. New in town?
Buffy, casually
BUFFY
Burned a school in LA.
Cordelia, mentioning for Buffy to walk with her, frowning
CORDELIA
Disturbing but like, major points. Clique?
BUFFY
Cheerleader.
CORDELIA
I am on the squad. Going to tryouts?
Buffy, shrugging
BUFFY
Sure.
CORDELIA
You pass. Stay away from people I point out and hang with us. We are the in crowd. Speaking of losers …
They get to Xander, who with Willow's assistance has backed out of the overturned garbage container no worse for wear. He is partially blocking the sidewalk and starting to get up when he turns his head to see who approached him.
Xander, clearly taken with Buffy, rambling awkwardly
XANDER
Hello stranger, who won't be strange for long. Because you will tell me your name and then I will know … um, your name that is. So, no stranger.
Cordelia, ignoring him, disdainfully
CORDELIA
Shame, the help always miss some garbage for all we pay them.
The CORDETTES giggle as she presses him down flat with her foot and then steps over Xander and they follow her. Buffy walks around him and gives Xander and Willow an apologetic look. It is returned gratefully by him and results in Willow instantly looking away. Buffy wonders what is wrong with that girl.
Buffy, Cordelia, and the CORDETTES reach the main entrance door.
Cordelia, stopping Buffy with a hand on the arm, not caring she is blocking the way
CORDELIA
Meet you at The Bronze tonight?
Buffy, having fun, brazenly
BUFFY
You asking me out?
Cordelia, dropping her hand hastily, concerned
CORDELIA
You one of them?
Buffy, holding the silence for uncomfortable moment before saying the last word
BUFFY
It's true. I am a … wiseass.
Cordelia, laughing weakly, more in relief
CORDELIA
Ha … good one.
Buffy, sagely
BUFFY
I swoon for tall, silent, and strong types. Brooding is a bonus.
Cordelia, interested
CORDELIA
Spill. Back home?
BUFFY
Met him last night, did not get a name. He is playing hard to get.
CORDELIA
Bronze is the only action in town and they have indie bands. If he is local, he is there.
BUFFY
So there. FYI, we are not dating, now or ever.
Cordelia, gasping
CORDELIA
Please! My reputation.
BUFFY
Is like totally safe with me.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – SCHOOL HALLWAY – MORNING
Rows of lockers line the walls. Willow and Xander make their way to hers and she spins the wheel and opens it.
XANDER
So … new girl?
Willow, enthusiastically
WILLOW
Buffy. The name is the package.
XANDER
Total package. Who told you?
WILLOW
A voice in my head and there is the body to go with it. Because bodiless voice is just crazy or like when your dog is telling you to kill people but there is no person to go with the voice and you know since it is coming from an animal and there is no body visible then you lost it. It is bad like that but mine is different, it is the good kind of voice in the head, with the body and matching moving lips and all that body stuff.
XANDER
Let's take stock. Not loco, not hearing disembodied voices, seeing and talking to someone who is not there: got it. You know, that's new and weird even for you.
Pause.
XANDER
So … Buffy.
Willow, swooning, dreamily
WILLOW
Xander, I think she is the one.
Xander, grabbing her arm, frantically pleading
XANDER
No! She can't be your one. She is my one. Did you not see? Did she not step avoid me?
WILLOW
Why yes Xander; that is a valid criterion for judging attraction.
XANDER
You are mocking me. I am being described in words that sound like mocking. And I would know; it is the only subject I am not in danger of flunking.
WILLOW
That's the depressing spirit! Say, what happened to Cordelia? If abuse equaled love, you two would be married in kindergarten.
Xander, shuddering
XANDER
Don't remind me how deep my childhood trauma goes.
Pause.
Xander, releasing Willow, sighing
XANDER
Fine but I want pictures.
Willow, sadly
WILLOW
There is a problem.
XANDER
There is? She noticed you, not me.
Willow, wringing her hands, anxious
WILLOW
I don't know how to talk to her. I am scared if I look at her, my mouth will open and things will fall out. Or not and then she will think I am weird staring at her with my jaw hanging down. Or worse: lolling tongue. And drooling; there definitely be drooling.
Xander deliberately zones out, pretending to be lost in a steamy, teenager's fantasy.
Willow, punching him on the arm, hissing
WILLOW
Xander!
Xander, smirking
XANDER
Sorry, I just went to a place. You, Buffy, ton… ouch.
That earns him a second punch.
Xander, rubbing his sore arm, chastised
XANDER
You are definitely a girl yet you don't hit like a girl. I think I am scared of you.
Willow rolls her eyes.
Xander, brightly
XANDER
Right! Let Xander, your best friend, show you how to talk to girls.
WILLOW
That is what I am afraid of.
Xander, pointing a thumb at himself
XANDER
Hey, best friend …
Pause.
Xander, pointing a finger at Willow, holding his hand like a gun
XANDER
… helping you.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – CLASSROOM – MIDMORNING
Buffy enters and takes the only available seat, next to Xander. STUDENTS occupy others.
Xander, leaning over as soon as she sits down, conspiratorially
XANDER
I'm Xander and I have a friend.
BUFFY
That's nice. More than one?
Xander, stammering
XANDER
Ah … kind of … no, not really.
Pause.
Xander, gathering the remains of his courage, stumbling
XANDER
You should, you know, to Willow. Words! Use words, lots of words. She wants to share … words. Did I mention she knows a lot of words? She is smart.
Buffy, connecting the dots, amused
BUFFY
You don't say. That be the extremely skittish ghost whisperer from this morning? Don't I have to tranquilize and tie her up first?
XANDER
We have been best friends since kindergarten after Cordelia's Barbie tragic demise – the wicked witch has the memory of an elephant. Willow's mom makes her PB&Js, which she hates but I like. We trade.
Buffy, suspicious of his motives, wary
BUFFY
An inside track on your best friend. Why?
Xander, convincingly and firmly
XANDER
She is that.
Buffy, deciding to take a chance, smiling
BUFFY
I'm Buffy.
Xander, blurting out
XANDER
So the voices told her.
BUFFY
I can see why the two of you clicked.
The TEACHER walks in just as the bell rings.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – COURTYARD – NOON
Willow is eating lunch out of the brown paper bag. She is sitting on the stone bench, munching on the sandwich with a marked lack of enthusiasm and achievement.
MAN, amiably
MAN
Your friend is back.
Willow, working it out, giving the issue a great deal of thought, babbling
WILLOW
Yay me. Say, are there going to be more voices in my head? Not that I mind the company but can you not talk all at once? Take turns? Wait, if you are imaginary, why are you not a girl? It is my mind and if I am seeing things, I want a hot, tanned supermodel. In a bikini. Wait, without it. No wait, with it – it's too distracting. And …
MAN, cutting her off
MAN
I am real and she can see me too.
He points with his chin and before Willow can react, a hand rests on her shoulder and firmly, yet gently holds her in place.
MAN, to Willow
MAN
On the house.
Pause.
MAN, to Buffy
MAN
Buffy, Willow. Willow, Buffy.
And he is gone.
Buffy, softly
BUFFY
You going to run?
Willow shakes her head no and Buffy releases her. She sits down next to Willow and takes out her own lunch. Buffy unpacks a sandwich and looks at Willow sitting there, immobile, her head down.
Buffy, trying to draw Willow out, conversationally, showing interest
BUFFY
Food that bad?
WILLOW
Not hungry.
Buffy, opening the sandwich to show off the contents, whispering furtively
BUFFY
Psst! I smuggled the good stuff inside this joint. Trade you?
Willow completely misses the playfulness.
Willow, examining her own progress, critically
WILLOW
It's got nibbles.
Buffy, grinning
BUFFY
Not big on crust.
Something in the manner Buffy says the last spurs Willow to take a few small bites, working around the edge. She then timidly hands the remains to Buffy. Buffy swaps for hers. They start eating.
Willow, carefully
WILLOW
You see him too?
Buffy, intuitively, placing a hand on Willow's forearm, supportively
BUFFY
You are not alone.
Willow chokes on her sandwich and Buffy slaps her back, dislodging the obstruction, sending bits of bread, cheese, and meat flying.
BUFFY
Hey, respect the sandwich!
Willow, recovered, finds this funny and giggles.
Willow, taking a chance, raising her head and looking at Buffy, hopefully
WILLOW
You need help with coursework?
BUFFY
Know someone?
Willow, shyly
WILLOW
There is this person I know. Her second home is the library and she likes books. People say she is very smart. I could ask her for you.
BUFFY
What is this library you speak of? Remember, I'm blonde and cheerleader. Well, ex.
WILLOW
We picked up textbooks last week, you should get yours today after school. By “we” I mean Xander. I appreciate you not stepping on him this morning.
BUFFY
Thanks. This friend have a name?
Willow, down on self, despondent
WILLOW
… It's me. I'm sorry, I am just not very good at this conversation thing that.
Unconcerned with earlier skittishness, Buffy pats Willow's thigh.
BUFFY
You are doing fine. I am tutor friendly and had all my shots. However, I will have to cut you off at one - that is the last sandwich you steal from me.
Willow, looking Buffy directly in the eyes, meaning more than she says, smiling
WILLOW
Too late, addicted now.
Buffy, oblivious to Willow's deeper implication, rubbing her hands together, gleefully
BUFFY
Another soul brought to the dark side by tasty wicked combination of white bread, American cheese, and mystery lunch meat.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY – AFTERNOON
Buffy walks into the library and finds it empty. She looks around and listens, hearing the noise of someone moving between the shelves.
Buffy, in the direction of the sound, loudly
BUFFY
Hello?
Giles emerges and stares at her for a moment, like trying to place a face.
GILES
Buffy Summers?
BUFFY
No.
Giles, blinking, confused
GILES
What do you mean “no”?
BUFFY
You are a genius, aren't you?
GILES
Blonde, short, bad attitude - it's definitely you.
BUFFY
What gave me away?
GILES
Your mouth.
BUFFY
It's famous?
GILES
It comes with a warning label.
Buffy, contritely
BUFFY
I have been naughty.
GILES
Um, what?!
Buffy, smartass, faking sorrowful
BUFFY
I tore it off. I am a bad, bad tagger ripper. It's federal, you know. Ass to the wall, don't drop the soap, penitentiary here I come!
Giles, under his nose, grousing
GILES
Sodding git. I am having second thoughts about this assignment.
Buffy, supplying helpfully
BUFFY
I broke my first Watcher.
GILES
Lovely.
Pause.
GILES
How did you guess?
Buffy, informationally
BUFFY
I bet you come from a long assembly line of Watchers. Whatever they shove inside must be working. Pity about the uptightness.
Giles, stiffly
GILES
My lineage is a point of pride and I object to your language, young lady.
Buffy, indifferent
BUFFY
Whatever, welcome to my life. Town is infested with vampires, there is an invisible man running around spouting prophecies and dire warnings, and I look fabulous. Is it too early to worry about stress wrinkles?
Giles, taking off his glasses and starting to clean them, mumbling
GILES
England is looking better by the minute.
BUFFY
Don't go, they will send your twin and then I have to start the insults over again. I hate to repeat myself.
Giles, incredulous
GILES
Do you ever take anything seriously?
BUFFY
Shoe sales; it's like religious and stuff.
GILES
Why are you here if not for my help?
BUFFY
Willow told me they have things called books in here. Seen any?
GILES
I have your textbooks set aside. I expect you here for training and out on patrols.
BUFFY
Yes dad.
GILES
You are a Slayer. Act it.
BUFFY
Monster, my fist, its face, repeat as needed, throw in slashing and crushing with steel implements for variety, spiciness, life, yada yada – I read the manual. Nothing in there about hurt feelings, lots about killing, maiming, and “ends justify means”. You know, they have laws against murder. And it ruins the clothes.
Giles, walking away, muttering
GILES
This is not happening.
Buffy, loud enough for Giles to hear, smugly
BUFFY
If I keep breaking them, will they keep sending them? Now, there is a question with an answer waiting to happen.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – BRONZE – NIGHT
Down the street from the club Angel crosses the street, stopping to look at the Bronze, and then continuing. A number of seconds later, Giles, crossbow in hand, follows him.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE – BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy walks into the club and assesses it. There is the stage, dancing floor, a bar, a tables' area and an upstairs balcony overlooking the floor. She looks around and locates Willow, sitting alone by the bar.
Buffy walks up and takes a seat on the stool next to her. Willow turns to look at her.
BUFFY
Where is the invisible man?
Willow, impishly
WILLOW
Invisible.
BUFFY
Nah, that makes too much sense.
Willow, blurting the words out and then taking them back right away, impulsively
WILLOW
Logic hurts, doesn't it? I'm sorry, I did not mean … I ... Buffy, you must hate me.
BUFFY
I corrupted you. It happens; mostly when I am around.
WILLOW
You are not mad?
BUFFY
It keeps me in practice.
Willow, frowning
WILLOW
Why do you train for insults? Not that I am prying, but you are beautiful, popular, and outgoing. Unlike me.
Buffy, wistfully
BUFFY
If you only knew ...
Willow opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted by Luke, who steps right between them.
Luke, in Buffy's face and ignoring personal space, menacing
LUKE
Alley behind the club, five minutes. You don't show and I tear this place apart.
Pause.
Luke, adding, for emphasis and to ensure there is no misunderstanding
LUKE
And everyone in it.
His message delivered, he leaves.
Willow, shaking
WILLOW
Okay, scared now.
BUFFY
Stay here.
Willow grabs Buffy's hand in both of hers.
Willow, pleading
WILLOW
Don't go; call the cops.
Buffy, freeing her hand with ease yet careful not to hurt Willow, irritated
BUFFY
Excuse me, I have to hit something. Repeatedly; it is that thing I do for stress.
Buffy barely takes two steps towards the front door when Xander intercepts her.
XANDER
Hey Buffy, you and Willow going to get freaky on the dance floor? Because I like to wa…
Buffy bumps his shoulder in passing, nearly sending him to the floor, and walks away without a word. She appears not to even notice him, so intent she is on leaving.
As Xander stands there wondering what just happened, Willow rushes up to him and grabs him; she pulls him towards the exit insistently.
Xander, rubbing his sore shoulder, lost
XANDER
Hello to you too. Say, your new friend is strange. Where we going?
Willow, frantically
WILLOW
We have to save Buffy!
XANDER
I think you have that the other way around; she hits harder than you. Women scare me; Buffy terrifies me.
WILLOW
Muscles showed up and threatened her.
Xander, starting to resist the drag, nervously
XANDER
Exactly how big was Muscles?
WILLOW
Extra-large and angry; bodily harm, smash your face angry. His big muscles had little muscles. He had a lot of big and anger.
XANDER
And this is a good idea because …?
WILLOW
Come on, she needs our help.
Xander, groaning
XANDER
This is going to end in regret.
WILLOW
If we are lucky, maybe not.
Xander, confidently
XANDER
Oh, that won't happen.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy runs out of the club and draws her stake. Not watching where she is going, she almost runs straight into Cordelia and only her superior reflexes stop her from bulldozing the woman. The CORDETTES, ever present, are on hand to witness the near collision.
Cordelia, outraged
CORDELIA
Buffy!
Buffy, brushing her off, brusquely
BUFFY
Not now, Cordelia.
Cordelia, noticing the long, wooden stake, worried
CORDELIA
About that LA thing: do you have other issues I should know about? Cause angst is cool but stabbings and school shootings are not.
Buffy, escaping, words trailing behind her, curtly
BUFFY
Busy.
Cordelia quickly snaps a few pictures of departing Buffy with her phone.
Shortly, Willow and Xander crash into Cordelia and the CORDETTES. They bounce off just as quickly, chasing after Buffy.
Cordelia, dramatically, with an air of a martyr
CORDELIA
Public losers and psychos. Why can't Sunnydale have a private school?
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – ALLEY BEHIND THE BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy arrives in the long leg of the L-shaped alley, finding Luke standing the middle of it. He vamps put and advances on her. She kicks him and it barely pushes him back. She tries a couple strikes and he grabs her by the throat. He tosses her into the metal garbage cans, scattering them with a racket and spilling the contents. No one comes to investigate - the residents know better.
LUKE
Slayerage is slipping.
Buffy grabs the can lid and sends it flying, smashing him right between the eyes and eliciting a howl of pain.
BUFFY
You got something on your face.
Enraged, he charges and in one smooth motion she bends down, picks up another lid and connects the inside with a crunch, using it as a shield to pummel his head.
BUFFY
Told ya.
Her victory is short lived as a backhand knocks the lid out of her hand and Luke grabs her and throws her into a metal trash container, which does not yield like the garbage cans. This one definitely hurts.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – ENTRANCE TO ALLEY BEHIND THE BRONZE – NIGHT
Willow and Xander's progress is stopped short by a WOMAN and a YOUNG MAN standing guard. They don't look friendly.
Willow, backing up, afraid
WILLOW
Xander, this is your part.
XANDER
I don't hit girls.
The WOMAN and YOUNG MAN vamp out. The FEMALE VAMPIRE attacks Xander and knocks him down and silly with a couple punches.
FEMALE VAMPIRE, picking up Xander by his throat and flashing her teeth
FEMALE VAMPIRE
I do.
As this happens, the MALE VAMPIRE backs Willow against the wall and places hands outside her shoulders, trapping her.
Willow, bluffing
WILLOW
I have to warn you: I am a screamer.
MALE VAMPIRE, smiling
MALE VAMPIRE
Wouldn't want it any other way; you taste better in fear.
Suddenly, Angel is there and he drives a stake from behind, dusting the MALE VAMPIRE. The FEMALE VAMPIRE stands up and shrieks, only to join her companion's fate as a bolt from Giles' crossbow takes her out.
XANDER
Warrior librarian?!
Willow runs deeper into the alley right away. More VAMPIRES drop from the roof and block their way.
Giles, humble but secretly pleased, understating with typical restraint
GILES
We British do have our moments.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – ALLEY BEHIND THE BRONZE – NIGHT
Willow halts abruptly, in time to see Buffy impact the metal and land with a thud. She freezes, her courage gone.
MAN, appearing out of nowhere, encouragingly
MAN
Time to save the girl.
Willow, not surprised to see him, nervous
WILLOW
I am not good at this at all. Also, I don't think I can move and I have to go to the bathroom. Give me a book and I will make it tremble. Monsters make me run away. That is a good thing, in the sort of living a long yet boring life. Well, except for the fleeing in terror parts but I am good at not recalling those.
MAN
Don't think, act. Carpe diem.
Willow, visibly shaking
WILLOW
Carpe diem.
Pause.
Willow, picking up a 2x4 and charging Luke, sounding her battle cry
WILLOW
CARPE DIEM!
Luke, without even looking, casually swats her away as she gets close.
MAN, shaking his head
MAN
The mouse that roared. Unfortunately for her.
Buffy, checking her own body for damage
BUFFY
Go Willow, you killer you.
Willow, lucky to land in garbage bags nearby, staying there to gather her breath
WILLOW
Not helping?
BUFFY
The war cry was nice.
Luke, closing in on Buffy once again, who is up and ready for more, enjoying this
LUKE
Master will be pleased - a dead Slayer and a live offering for the Harvest.
Willow, helpfully
WILLOW
I make the worse sacrificial virgin.
LUKE
Even better.
BUFFY
Willow?
Willow, eager
WILLOW
Yes?
BUFFY
Stop talking.
Willow, unable to hide her disappointment
WILLOW
This was my big rescue.
BUFFY
Well, you surprised us both.
Willow, morosely
WILLOW
Not the effect I was going for.
Buffy kicks Luke and he catches her leg, sending her sprawling. He turns and picks up a wooden pallet and smashes it to pieces over Buffy. He repeats with another one and she goes wobbly. That's when Angel comes running and tackles him, sending them both tumbling.
Luke takes one glance at Angel and hissing, takes off. Angel chases him.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – ALLEY BEHIND THE BRONZE – NIGHT
Buffy and Willow watch the drama play out, one dizzy and the other done being a hero. The Slayer constitution kicking in, Buffy is the first to recover as Giles and Xander enter in the background and head towards her.
Buffy, noticing Willow touch her chest gingerly, concerned
BUFFY
Nothing broken?
Willow, swiftly hiding her face on being discovered, mortally embarrassed
WILLOW
… Padded bra.
Buffy, joking
BUFFY
Vanity one, dignity zero. Still … ouch.
Buffy helps Willow up and guides her to the middle of the alley, where they are joined by Xander and Giles.
Xander, grandly
XANDER
We sure showed them.
All three turn and walk away from him.
XANDER
Was it something I said?
Pause.
XANDER
Guys?
He runs after them.
FADE OUT:
THE END