by
Bard
Editor
Bleu Gato
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyright 20th Century Fox Film Corporation . All original content of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyrighted by the author and is not to be used or modified without permission. All rights reserved.
Contact: bard@xena2.com
Blog: www.xena2.com/blog
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. WILLOW'S HOUSE – BEDROOM – SATURDAY/LATE MORNING
Buffy and Willow are passed out in bed, sleeping off the raid on Whips. The witch lies on her belly, hugging the pillow. Buffy is on her side, facing Willow.
The cell on Willow's side rings and Buffy is instantly awake. She dives for the phone, sprawling across Willow and getting muttered, muted grumblings in return.
Buffy, putting it on speaker and placing it between them, chirpy
BUFFY
Willow's phone.
GILES
Buffy?
Willow turns her sleepy face towards Buffy, not even bothering to lift her head first. Puzzled, she tries to work out why the Slayer is on top of her. Not that she minds.
Buffy, looking at Willow, to Giles, grinning
BUFFY
Don't worry, I disposed of the body.
Willow, trying to move and realizing she is pinned down, laughing
WILLOW
Get off me, you goof.
Giles, ignoring the messing around, all business
GILES
You might want to sit down for this one.
Buffy rolls off and lies on her back. She is about to answer when Willow pounces on her stomach, knocking her breath out.
Buffy, impressed, grimacing
BUFFY
Poor Xander; you hit harder than demons.
Giles, confused
GILES
What are you two doing in there?
Willow giggles and scoots back, freeing Buffy. She sits up facing the Slayer and crosses her legs under her.
Buffy, tenderly massaging her abdomen, wincing slightly
BUFFY
Coffee flashback. Under control; go ahead.
There is silence and then Giles returns, sounding old and tired.
Giles, weary, sounding distraught
GILES
They are gone; all of them.
Her attention caught, Buffy sits up and puts the cell down between them. The Slayer and the witch exchange worried looks.
WILLOW
Who is gone?
Giles, heavily
GILES
The Watchers' Council was contacted by the Master's intermediary. Darla obliterated the strike team in broad daylight, right on Sunnydale's Main Street.
Willow gasps and Buffy places a hand on her knee to steady her. Willow reaches out and covers it with her own.
Willow, finding comfort in her faith, quietly
WILLOW
For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's .
Buffy, breaking the silence that follows that statement, morosely
BUFFY
Lester was right.
GILES
You want to come over? I will try to listen.
BUFFY
You knew him?
Giles, sounding tense and guarded
GILES
He is … was a friend.
BUFFY
You will listen because you are a Watcher or because you care?
GILES
Both … it's my duty to be there for you … and … you know … more.
Pause.
Giles, explaining his emotions getting the better of him temporarily, admitting with a chuckle
GILES
Tea has extra in it.
BUFFY
You want to grieve in peace? Don't answer that.
Pause.
Buff, patting Willow's hand that's on top of hers, grateful not to be alone right now
BUFFY
I got my friend here. Thanks, Giles.
Pause.
Buffy, adding quickly, concerned
BUFFY
If you need us, say the word.
Giles, agreeing without making it seem so
GILES
Patrol together?
Buffy, lightly
BUFFY
Depends on how much spiked tea you had.
GILES
I am stopping at five cups. Four down and one poured in memory.
Pause.
GILES
I will see you both and Xander at ten tonight.
BUFFY & WILLOW
Bye Giles.
Giles hangs up and Buffy reaches out and ends the call.
Buffy, sounding lost
BUFFY
I need Willow-hug stat.
Willow happily obliges.
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INTRODUCTION
On the screen, various images of Buffy and the Scooby Gang appear and a voice reads the passage.
BUFFY VOICE-OVER
Into every generation she is born; one girl in the entire world, a Chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and the skill to fight against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Joyce is setting the dinner table when Buffy walks in. She plops down onto the nearest chair, dispirited.
Buffy, feeling down
BUFFY
Xander is not coming and Willow will be late.
Joyce, fixing Buffy with a stern gaze, serious
JOYCE
Buffy, is there something you want to tell me?
Buffy, her defenses up, playing dumb, denying by reflex
BUFFY
Uh, no?
JOYCE
You don't expect me to believe you spend the entire time studying with Willow?
Buffy, panicking
BUFFY
It is not what you think.
Joyce, still misreading her daughter, accusing sharply
JOYCE
It is a boy, isn't it?
BUFFY
Okay, it is definitely not what you think.
JOYCE
Starting tonight, she comes over four days a week then you swap.
Joyce walks to the front of Buffy and looks down on her daughter.
Joyce, wringing her hands, softly
JOYCE
Xander, right? Buffy, are you using protection?
Buffy, angry at lack of trust and mortified to discuss sex with her mother, storming off
BUFFY
Mom, we are not having this talk!
Buffy angrily marches to the stairs and stomps each one on the way up to stress her level of upset.
Joyce, referring to Buffy's current childishness and presumed sleeping around, yelling
JOYCE
I raised you better than that!
The door slamming close is her only answer.
Joyce, eyes on the stairs, sighing
JOYCE
I just want the best for you, honey. Why don't you understand that?
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – EVENING
Buffy and Willow enter the Slayer's bedroom, close the door and stand face to face.
Willow, sharper than she intended
WILLOW
Any reason I got the third degree?
BUFFY
Are you insulting my mom's cooking?
WILLOW
Food wasn't part of the torture. I think; the lemonade, why yes.
Pause.
Willow, making a face
WILLOW
I got no sugar in mine. I was denied sweetness. There was sour and then came the probing. The only thing missing was the Cardinal bursting in and yelling: “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
As Buffy starts to rolls her eyes at the drama, they are interrupted by Xander who climbs in thru the window. He enters the room and Willow immediately runs up and hugs him. Buffy stands where she is, arms crossed on her chest, staring him down.
Buffy, reproachfully
BUFFY
Why didn't you tell us?
Xander moves away from Willow and approaches Buffy. The witch trails him like a sad puppy.
Xander, halting in front yet unable to face Buffy, hanging his head, guiltily
XANDER
I was a guy.
Buffy, throwing her hands up, disgusted
BUFFY
The defense rests.
WILLOW
Buffy!
Willow puts an arm around Xander and guides him to the bed.
Willow, pushing him down to sit, consoling
WILLOW
Ignore her; she is a poop head when it comes to emotions.
BUFFY
So not.
Willow is up and on Buffy in a flash.
Willow, rounding on Buffy, jabbing a finger into Buffy's chest
WILLOW
That's it: no Willow-hugs for you until you admit the error of your ways and beg forgiveness repeatedly and humbly. There better be prostrating and chocolate offerings.
Xander, sagely
XANDER
Willow-hugs are up there with comfort ice cream. I spent years researching this very topic. I once had a Willow-snuggle and I am living off that memory for years.
Buffy, to Willow, hiding behind humor as always, joking
BUFFY
No fair; first you addict me and then you take my supply away. You are cruel.
The words have the opposite yet predictable result.
Willow, tearing up, wounded
WILLOW
Please don't say that.
Xander, shaking his head at Buffy's cluelessness, gently scolding
XANDER
You upset the Willow-pooh. Now you have to rub her belly.
Buffy does not have to be told twice; she advances on the witch. Willow squeaks and backs up, slapping away Buffy's wiggling fingers reaching for her middle. Tickle monster is on the prowl and hungry for bare flesh.
Xander, getting more comfortable, appreciatively
XANDER
Hello, fantasy!
Buffy and Willow stop what they are doing and look at each other. Silent consensus reached, they head for the bed and pick up the pillows.
Xander, scrambling from the bed, alarmed
XANDER
Oh no, not pillow fu! Anything but pillow fu!
He never makes good his escape. Feathery assault catches and holds him firm. He curls into a ball on the carpet and weathers it stoically.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – LATE EVENING
Xander sits on the floor, with his back supported by the foot of the bed. Willow is stretched out on her stomach, her chin on her crossed forearms; her head is next to his. Buffy sits by the desk, scarfing down crackers. A very impressive quantity of empty snack baggies and containers littler the desk. Both Willow and Xander are watching her with silent fascination. There are feathers spread around the room.
Xander, shaking his head, mesmerized
XANDER
She is like a T-1000, sent from the future to destroy our snacks.
Buffy aims a cracker at Xander, then thinks better of it and eats it instead.
Willow, grinning
WILLOW
I swear; one time I woke up and she was gnawing on my arm.
Buffy tips the packaging to devour the survivors on the bottom and Xander adds sound effects to the action, making noises of suffering and death.
XANDER
Aaaaaaaa! Noooooo! You monster!
Buffy, giving Xander the evil eye, grumbling
BUFFY
Stupid Slayer metabolism.
XANDER
This is a first. How come I only hear the cries of the lambs now?
Willow, profoundly
WILLOW
Buffy hides her cravings; she is a secret binger, only without the fingers in the throat and chunks ahoy.
Xander, grousing
XANDER
I could have lived without that image. I could have died happy without that image.
Buffy rifles through the desk drawers, looking for more sustenance.
Willow, impishly
WILLOW
I helpfully suggested a feedbag and she made me carry her calories.
Pause.
Willow, complaining good-naturedly, tweaking Buffy
WILLOW
I have crumbs in my school bag and locker, my carpet is crunchy and I keep finding chips and chocolate raisins under the sheets. I was afraid of monsters under my bed. Now, when there is strange rustling and crinkling, I fear losing my fingers.
Buffy piles her yummy findings on the desk and resumes the assault, outwardly oblivious to their teasing.
Xander, innocently
XANDER
Buffy is a closet cookie monster?
Buff, catching the hidden meaning, pouting
BUFFY
Sure, pick on the girl that's different, Xander of the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
And just like that the morning events are with them again. Xander's temporary peace evaporates and he turns his face away from the women, not wanting them to see his weakness. He doesn't understand it's unnecessary; his friends have his back.
Xander, tearing up, struggling to hold to his emotions, whispering
XANDER
Natalie …
Willow, immediately hugging Xander around the neck
WILLOW
I'm sorry.
Xander pats Willow's arms to let her know he appreciates the gesture and Willow returns to her original position.
Buffy, taking charge, not happy with Xander withdrawing, firmly
BUFFY
Okay, new rule: no secrets. It leads to angst and badness. This is Hellmouth, people.
Willow, piping in, shaking her fist for effect on the last sentence, fierce yet cute
WILLOW
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his. This is war!
Buffy comes over to the bed and lies next to Willow. She hands her a partially eaten cookie and when Willow takes it eagerly and starts munching on it, Buffy throws an arm over the witch and squeezes her.
Buffy, rubbing Willow's back in small circles, with a hint of affection
BUFFY
Language, General George W. Patton. And … not exactly what I was going for.
Buffy and Willows interaction has the desired, visible effect on Xander. It takes his mind off Natalie and he gladly joins the distraction that is their amiable banter.
Xander, philosophically
XANDER
The violence, it spreading.
He is jumped by both women and driven to carpet, where he is pinned by Buffy.
Xander, sensing major trouble heading his way, pleading for mercy
XANDER
I give! I give!
The tickle monster, denied earlier, will not be stopped this time.
Willow lifts Xander's shirt and strikes tickle gold.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – LATE EVENING
Xander, with red, teary eyes, rests on the bed, Buffy and Willow bookending him. All three lie on top of the comforter, staring at the ceiling. Comfortable silence reigns.
That is, until a discrete crunch comes from Buffy's mouth. Willow giggles and Xander smiles as they turn their heads in unison and see Buffy working a new bag of chips.
Buffy, defensively
BUFFY
What? It was sitting there. If it could have talked, it would have said: eat me.
Xander, quipping
XANDER
You really should not sleep with Willow in the same bed.
Buffy chokes on her chips and turns beet red. Willow's blush is only slightly less prominent.
Buffy turns, coughing and Xander hits her on the back to help with recovery. She lies back down and this time the silence is charged.
Buffy, hoping to change the subject and break the current mood, discretely
BUFFY
Xander, tell us about your girlfriend. What really happened?
Xander, opening up, reminiscing
XANDER
Natalie was gentle inside …
Buffy tosses Xander a chocolate cookie for instant therapy and he smiles gratefully; after unwrapping, he bites into it with relish. Willow covers his hand with hers and makes soothing motions.
Xander, encouraged by the support, continues
XANDER
I asked permission to kiss her and things went from there …
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – NIGHT
Buffy, Willow, and Xander sit at the edge of the bed. Xander blows loudly into the tissue and makes a three point shot into the wastebasket; the dare does not go unanswered. Buffy, being the competitive Slayer she is, grabs one as well and spits on it. She fashions it into the ball and one-ups Xander, hitting the target with her eyes closed. Willow and Xander exchange amused glances before returning to the current topic.
Willow, paying the expected tribute, glibly
WILLOW
Yes Buffy, yours is bigger.
Pause.
Willow, to Xander, enjoying this
WILLOW
So Xander, you just had to inspect the brothel's rooms and you picked hers? Seconds before she arrived? Wow, your luck needs its own.
Xander, holding up both hands, flat, palms forward, surrendering
XANDER
I know, I know, fire away. I deserve it.
BUFFY
They should make it an after school special, the importance of not being Xander.
Willow, troubled by the nasty edge to Buffy's words, rebuking
WILLOW
Put away the claws, it could happen to anyone.
Pause.
Willow, allowing and admitting
WILLOW
Okay, only Xander.
Pause.
Willow, adding quickly, apologetically
WILLOW
Sorry Xander.
Xander waves it away, forgiving her easily and naturally.
Buffy, much chastised, extending an olive branch to Xander
BUFFY
Say, you looking for place to stay?
XANDER
I am not living in your closet, Buffy. The mountain of shoes could go at any minute and my masculinity is damaged enough, thank you.
Buffy, reigning in her spirited wit, calmly
BUFFY
Willow won't set foot in the coven again until the bones are buried and she won't let me do it.
XANDER
Anything for my Willow; mind, I get cursed and I will visit and do ghost things to you both.
WILLOW
Haunt us?
XANDER
That too.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - FOYER – SUNDAY/MORNING
Buffy is dressed in her Sunday's best. She stops in front of the wall mirror and starts making faces. Joyce is fussing around her, adjusting the fit and picking at lint. Buffy looks irritated with the attention.
Joyce, really going for mother of the year award, nervously
JOYCE
Buffy, are you in the cult?
Buffy, with a straight face
BUFFY
The sect of boyfriend Xander; we lustily worship in the parks, stark naked. I dimply recall screaming God's name in vain.
That earns Buffy a swat on her behind.
Buffy, smirking
BUFFY
Willow's parents took me into a desert retreat and brainwashed me into worshipping Reverend Jim Jones. I did not drink the Kool-Aid but the punch was delicious.
Another smack on Buffy's bottom, harder this time.
Buffy, unfazed by corporal punishment, still mouthing off
BUFFY
I have to sit on it; on wooden bench no less. Think you could beat me some more?
Joyce, giving up, despairing
JOYCE
Why are you like this? Why won't you talk to me?
Buffy, granting her mother's wish, tellingly
BUFFY
Mom, you know what Willow said last night?
Joyce, carefully
JOYCE
She is a very nice girl, polite and friendly.
BUFFY
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Joyce, surprised
JOYCE
No!
Buffy, suddenly weary, sharing
BUFFY
Willow had a tough morning.
Joyce, neutrally
JOYCE
She staying over tonight?
BUFFY
Yes.
Joyce, the closest she will come to an apology, promising
JOYCE
I will talk to her.
Buffy, giving her mother a small smile in gratitude, gratefully
BUFFY
Thanks, mom.
Outside, a car horn sounds.
Buffy, taking out her cross, mischievously
BUFFY
The faithmobile fun filled ride to salvation is here. Say that thrice fast.
Joyce reaches out and examines the cross, while Buffy waits and bites her tongue. Joyce turns it over and her breath catches. Buffy does not notice, impatient to leave; her eyes and mind are on the entrance door.
CLOSEUP – BUFFY'S CROSS
The cross rests on its face in the palm of Joyce's right hand. The back is smooth, warm silver. Two sets of initials connected by heart are engraved on the surface – Willow Danielle Rosenberg and Buffy Anne Summers.
BACK TO SCENE
Joyce traces WDR ♥ BAS with her finger, confirming it is real.
Joyce, her voice strangled
JOYCE
Buffy, who gave you the cross?
Buffy, without looking at her mother, happy
BUFFY
Willow; we have a matching set.
Joyce quickly turns the cross back around and places it on her daughter's chest. She jerks back her hand and makes a choking, throaty sound, in preparation for a flood of questions about to break free. Joyce never gets the chance.
The horn blares again, longer this time. The cacophony is joined by the buzzing of Buffy's cell.
Buffy kisses her mother on the cheek and rushes out the door, not bothering to close it. In the background, parked by the curb, are Willow's parents. Ira and his wife sit in the front of the car and Willow is in the back, smiling and waving her phone at Buffy who quickens her steps in response.
Joyce, watching Buffy enter the car and immediately smother Willow in a hug, stunned
JOYCE
I am blind. How did I miss that?
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. CHURCH – PRIEST'S OFFICE – LATE MORNING
The furniture is modest. Buffy sits before a small desk, waiting for the pastor. She fidgets on the plain, wooden chair, which looks every bit as uncomfortable as it feels. Buffy repeatedly shifts her behind, trying to find the least painful angle of contact. It is not working.
Buffy, wondering out loud, resolutely
BUFFY
Why is every religion selling guilt and suffering? I need to find one that embraces comfy sofas.
Buffy's eyes light up when Reverend Asher enters from the side door with a tray loaded with cookies, cup of tea and a glass of milk.
Buffy, not sure of protocol, standing up, respectfully
BUFFY
Reverend Mono Luke Asher.
Reverend Asher, waving her to sit back down, offhand
REVEREND ASHER
Monsignor.
He sets the tray on the desk and starts taking the items off.
BUFFY
Bless you.
Reverend Asher, offering the plate of goodies, friendly
REVEREND ASHER
Chunky chocolate chip?
Buffy, using Slayer speed to snatch one, already teeth deep into it, purring
BUFFY
Mmmm, Heaven comes early.
With her mouth stuffed, Buffy takes the entire plate and reaches for the milk. Reverend Asher hesitates for a second and then gives it to her with a chuckle. His eyes, however, are troubled.
CUT TO:
INT. CHURCH – PRIEST'S OFFICE – LATE MORNING
Buffy places the plate on the table and sets the glass down. She sways and frowns at the sudden loss of coordination. Cautiously, she returns to her chair and sits down heavily. Moments later, her head drops to her chest and unconsciousness takes her.
The priest walks around the table and carefully approaches Buffy. He pushes her hard and she limply tumbles to the floor, clearly out.
Revered Asher, standing over Buffy, looking at her with pity
REVEREND ASHER
Depart, Satan, source and master
Of all deceit, enemy of humanity's salvation.
Be humble under the powerful Hand of God.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN – LATE AFTERNOON
Willow and Joyce are preparing dinner together. The witch is making a salad and Buffy's mother is watching the roast in the oven and stirring rice on the stovetop.
Joyce, unable to hold her curiosity any longer, casually
JOYCE
Willow, can I see your cross?
Willow, kind of expecting this, takes it out without a word and shows it to Buffy's mother.
Joyce pays no attention to the front. She takes the cross in her fingers but does not turn it around.
Joyce, her hand trembling, not wanting to know but unable to stay in denial, weakly
JOYCE
I want an answer.
Willow, realizing Joyce literally holds the truth in her hand, honestly
WILLOW
Buffy thinks she is straight, I'm not.
Joyce, worried
JOYCE
She thinks? She experimenting?
WILLOW
She knows how I feel. I will be there when she figures it out.
JOYCE
I see. And nothing happened?
WILLOW
You taught your daughter well.
Joyce releases the cross and Willow puts it back.
Joyce, relieved but not there yet on the trust, hesitantly
JOYCE
You will tell me if things … change?
WILLOW
She will tell you if you ask her. This is the talk you should have with your daughter.
Joyce, sad
JOYCE
It seems every time we talk it ends in a fight.
Willow, softly
WILLOW
She has a lot on her mind lately and that is in addition to her other … responsibilities.
Joyce, joking
JOYCE
There is always the Spanish Inquisition.
Willow, lightly
WILLOW
Not those guys again.
JOYCE
We okay?
Willow, decisively
WILLOW
I won't spy on her for you. At any price.
JOYCE
I believe you. Buffy does her schoolwork and goes to church. You are a good influence on her. Give me time on the rest.
Willow, hopefully
WILLOW
Does that mean what I think it means?
Joyce, drawing Willow into a hug, warmly
JOYCE
You are welcome in this house.
Pause.
Joyce, tightening the embrace, whispering in Willow's ear
JOYCE
You hurt or take advantage of my daughter and they will never find your body.
Willow gulps.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE – BASEMENT – LATE AFTERNOON
Buffy comes to in a small room. The walls are stone, the floor cement, and the ceiling wood. A single, bare light bulb completes the picture. The shackles that imprison her limbs are secure and hold her fast. They are attached to iron rings, set into the surface.
Her movement catches attention, for shortly the steel door opens and Reverend Asher enters.
Reverend Asher, piously
REVEREND ASHER
You are corrupted. You will be made pure.
Buffy, mocking him, feigning contrition
BUFFY
Stop! I confess! I have naughty, dirty thoughts about boys; not girls, because that would be wrong. Am I right?
Reverend Asher, irritated
REVEREND ASHER
What are you on about?
Buffy, genuinely curious
BUFFY
You don't care if I and Willow lie together?
REVEREND ASHER
It's a sin, don't do it. There.
Buffy, lost
BUFFY
Wait, why am I chained then?
Reverend Asher, moving closer, harshly
REVEREND ASHER
You are a Slayer, a dark, evil thing.
BUFFY
Okay.
REVEREND ASHER
And I am going to drive the demon out of you …
Buffy, interrupting, protesting
BUFFY
Not okay!
Pause.
Buffy, sulking
BUFFY
That does not sound very Christian. What happened to loving thy Slayer neighbor?
The priest halts in front of Buffy.
Reverend Asher, completing the thought as if Buffy said nothing
REVEREND ASHER
… even if it kills you.
Buffy has heard enough.
Buffy, ripping her right hand free, along with chunks of masonry, determined
BUFFY
Willow showed me something beautiful …
Buffy notices his perturbed look, thou whether at her action or statement, she does not know.
Buffy, liberating her left hand, growing mad
BUFFY
Her faith, you pathetic excuse for a clergy.
Reverend Asher falls back a step, unable to comprehend how this small woman is tearing the iron rings out of the wall. No living human, even under foreign or chemical influence, can accomplish such a deed.
Buffy, kicking hard with her right leg and freeing it, strongly
BUFFY
She shared God with me.
Reverend Asher starts to backpedal.
Buffy, pulling her left leg out of its prison, angry
BUFFY
And I am not even going to ask what a nice Catholic like you is doing with a working S&M dungeon.
Then she is on him, clanking chains and all, looking like a cast member from A Christmas Carol.
Buffy, grabbing Reverend's cassock, growling
BUFFY
We are going on a field trip.
He uses the cross on her and she easily swats it away.
Buffy, bringing their faces close together, smiling coldly
BUFFY
I think it's time you seen the true face of evil, Reverend Asher. Lucky you, I got front row tickets.
CUT TO:
INT. CEMETERY – CRYPT – EVENING
The inside is pitch-black. Suddenly, the door is thrown open and sunlight furtively sneaks in. It is foiled in its encroachment by a barrier; there is fabric between the door and the outside and it keeps the light out. Mostly.
The curtain falls and the inside is revealed. The décor is … well, as expected. What is not, are the two VAMPIRES pressed into the shadows.
Buffy walks down the stairs, dragging Reverend Asher with her, stake in the other hand. She makes it all the way down and releases the priest. Without preamble, she explodes into motion and very soon a cloud of dust drifts to the floor.
The remaining VAMPIRE gets a different gift. Coming back to Reverend Asher, she takes him by the front and shoves him toward the VAMPIRE. The VAMPIRE captures the priest and looks at Buffy, puzzled and unsure.
Buffy, to VAMPIRE, yet looking at Reverend Asher, pleasantly
BUFFY
Cookies?
Taking it as permission, the VAMPIRE reverses his position. Pressing Reverend against the wall, he bites him and starts to feed. After a few seconds of this, Mr. Pointy ends the VAMPIRE'S existence.
Reverend Asher, pale and terrified, gazes at Buffy in shock. She takes out a dressing, slaps it over his neck, and then brings his hand up to press it against the wound.
Buffy, looking the priest right in the eyes, sincere and severe
BUFFY
We are the good guys. Next time you doubt, touch your neck.
She turns and walks out, leaving him alone to digest the implications.
CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY – CRYPT – SUNSET
Xander waits outside, repeating crossbow in hand; Giles stands a distance away, similarly armed. Buffy is nowhere in sight and the night is coming.
Reverend Asher emerges from the crypt, bloody dressing held against his neck. He flinches when he sees Xander.
Reverend Asher, scared
REVEREND ASHER
You are?
Xander, trying to put the priest at ease, smiling as he extends a hand
XANDER
Xander; one of the girls and honorary Slayerette.
They shake.
Reverend Asher, motioning towards Giles, calmer and more assured
REVEREND ASHER
And him?
Xander, prattling
XANDER
Giles, the Watcher; the Obi-Wan Kenobi to Buffy's Luke, minus the Jedi powers and plus the walking reference library on things that go do those bad things that they do in the night.
REVEREND ASHER
Bump?
XANDER
That.
REVEREND ASHER
Why are you here?
Xander, first looking at Reverend's bloody neck and then at the setting sun, uneasy
XANDER
Fresh wound is an invitation to dinner in this town. Tonight, the main course is you, the bell is about rung, and the guests don't discriminate.
Reverend Asher, keenly aware of his own mortality, apprehensive
REVEREND ASHER
Lead the way.
On those words, Xander and the priest depart; Giles joins them, bringing up the rear.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – NIGHT
Buffy sprawls on the bed, surrounded by chaos of papers and books, Willow has claimed the desk with similar yet highly organized spread of items, and Xander rides the carpet. He is reading comic books.
Willow sets a textbook on the floor and slides it towards Xander; he pushes it back. It feels like a ritual those two have performed countless times.
Willow, stubbornly pushing the book to Xander again, borderline nagging
WILLOW
Xander, please.
Xander, to Willow
XANDER
You called, texted, and dropped off notes every day; I am actually in danger of improving my grades.
BUFFY
Can't have that?
The tug of war between Willow and Xander continues, the book going back and forth faster and faster. Willow in now kicking it to him; he repeatedly shoves it away. Something is wrong.
Xander, not taking eyes of Willow, talking to Buffy
XANDER
No; I take pride in living on the edge.
BUFFY
Hello mediocrity, would you like fries with that?
Xander and Willow are locked in a staring contest as they trade the poor textbook back and forth.
Xander, loftily
XANDER
You laugh, but it is an art. Anyone can get an F or a D. It takes talent to consistently score D minus.
Buffy is oblivious to the slightly mean tone of the exchange, distracted as she is by her schoolwork.
Buffy, dripping with sarcasm
BUFFY
I am so not impressed.
Xander apparently decides that things will be better if he drags Buffy into it. Willow is so focused on him that she hardly pays attention to Buffy cracking jokes in the background. Stupidly, he changes that.
Xander, halting the book tennis match and staring contest, to Willow, slickly and glibly
XANDER
You going to defend your best friend here?
Willows attention and eyes shift to Buffy.
WILLOW
Xander's ambition is to move into my basement and mooch off me.
Buffy, forging full steam ahead, blithely
BUFFY
That should be on motivational posters; we could sell T-shirts.
Pause.
Buffy, not knowing when to stop, singing
BUFFY
Dancing through life
skimming the surface
gliding where turf is smooth
life is more painless
for the brainless
why think too hard?
When it's so soothing
dancing through life
no need to tough it
when you can slough it off as I do
nothing matters
but knowing nothing matters
it's just life
so keep dancing through.
Willow, agitated
WILLOW
That's not funny, Buffy! Xander is not a loser!
Upset, Willow starts crying and escapes to the bathroom.
Buffy, feeling she missed something important, baffled
BUFFY
That hit close to home?
Xander, setting aside the comic book and standing up, resigned
XANDER
Willow had her studies and me; she was happy … aside from Cordelia. Then you entered her life and put a mirror to it - she did not like the reflection. She thinks that if she wins you, it makes up for her failures as she perceives them. Willow gets the popular and beautiful cheerleader and lives happily ever after.
BUFFY
Replace one lie with another? You know I can't do that. If you truly are her best friend you know better than to ask.
Xander, done fighting for the night, drained and depressed
XANDER
You tell her one thing and do another. You are playing with her heart, Buffy. Either walk out of her life completely or go in that bathroom, get on your knees, and beg her for forgiveness. I did not know what I wanted and I lost Natalie. Don't be a Harris; don't be a loser.
Xander waits for Buffy to make her choice and she just sits there, unmoving. Long seconds pass.
Xander, quietly
XANDER
I see.
Pause.
Xander, finally working up some emotion, bitterly
XANDER
You are a coward. I know it is your bedroom, but don't be here when we come out.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE – BATHROOM – NIGHT
Willow is on the toilet with the seat down. She sniffles and wipes her nose with her hand when Xander enters, shutting the door behind him.
Willow, clearly expecting Buffy not Xander, disappointed
WILLOW
Oh.
Xander, spreading him arms, wanting nothing more than to take her pain away, cheery
XANDER
Come on, show me happy Willow. I might not share the yummy factor of your dream girl goodness but hey, best friend goodness. Now, squeezable!
Unable to resist adorable Xander, Willow gets up and falls in his arms with a sob.
Willow, burying her face in his shoulder, muffled, gratefully
WILLOW
Thanks Xander.
Xander, jesting
XANDER
I beat up Buffy for you.
Willow pulls back and grabs him by the arms, her eyes and expression turning stormy.
Xander, seeing Willow's concern mixed with indignation, hastily clarifies
XANDER
With words; when pain calls, I take a message. But they were harsh words and there were many of them.
Pause.
Xander, giving Willow what she needs, grinning
XANDER
Okay, I gave her a paper cut. But it was one of those lingering, bleed to death ones, where you die a drop at a time. Five years from now, she will be walking around and boom, dead from blood loss.
Willow, small smile peeking out of the corner of her mouth
WILLOW
You are sweet but she has Slayer healing. It will take ten years.
XANDER
Serves that stubborn poop head right. Feel better?
There is a timid knock on the door, stopping Willow from answering.
Xander, muttering, amazed
XANDER
And the snow falls in Hell.
Willow slaps his arm playfully and Xander gives her a smile. Willow releases him and sits on the toilet, composing herself.
There is another knock on the door.
Buffy, with genuine remorse
BUFFY VOICE-OVER
Willow, I'm sorry.
Willow gives Xander the nod and he goes to the door and opens it, wearing his poker face.
Buffy, showing the index finger, letting them know she heard everything, vulnerable
BUFFY
I need a Band-Aid.
Xander steps around Buffy and into the room.
Buffy enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. She looks at Willows tear streaked face and then looks away, biting her lip.
Willow, making the first move, breaking the ice
WILLOW
Sorry I wigged. Forgive me?
Buffy goes to the sink and turns the water taps. She soaks a washcloth and moves to Willow. Delicately, the Slayer wipes the witch's face and returns to the sink to wash and wring the cloth. She hangs it up and spots a small towel. Taking it to Willow, Buffy wipes the witch's face dry and smiles. Willow smiles back.
Buffy, happy
BUFFY
There is the rainbow.
Willow stands up and closing the distance, she captures Buffy in a tight embrace.
Willow, not wanting to push Buffy further, settling for this gain, appreciatively
WILLOW
Best friend goodness.
Buffy, simply
BUFFY
Mutual.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – HALLWAY – MONDAY/MORNING
Buffy and Xander are gathered around Willow's locker, which the witch is busily rearranging, fixed on order above all else.
Buffy finishes a box of M&Ms and tosses the empty packing inside; Willow puts it in her school bag and continues as if nothing happened. Xander does not look happy about both actions but his reproachful look is for Buffy alone. Unfazed, instead of removing the trash, Buffy sticks her hand in Willow's bag and retrieves another snack. She practically dares Xander to say something and he wisely lets it go.
Willow, unaware of the little exchange behind her, chatting away
WILLOW
Scuttlebutt has Flutie going missing on Fri morning. Wait, it gets weirder: police are here and asking questions.
BUFFY
We have those in Sunnydale?
XANDER
Rumor is they patrol but no one has seen a cruiser or uniform out of the stations in decades. I think they play solitaire and table soccer between watching soap operas.
Buffy, clapping, clasping her hands together in front, excited
BUFFY
I think I just found a perfect career. And I can shake Krispy Kreme for donut payoffs. Protection delicious and glazed, here I come!
Xander, wryly
XANDER
That's mafia.
Buffy, not deterred, launching into a spirited diatribe on pros and cons of both
BUFFY
I am not a hater; either is cool. However, in the battle of shiny badges and baton beatings versus custom Italian suits and cement shoes, the first option is more appealing. Respect my authority!
XANDER
Trust me, you will fit right in.
Willow, to Buffy, sighing
WILLOW
Sometimes, I worry about you.
Buff, pouting
BUFFY
Sometimes?
Willow, reluctantly allowing
WILLOW
All the time.
In the background Cordelia and the CORDETTES approach, unnoticed; underscoring her feelings, Willow impulsively hugs Buffy and then quickly breaks, embarrassed.
Buffy, looking at Xander, teasing
BUFFY
Ooh, PDA. Jealous?
Xander, smugly
XANDER
She will always be my Willow-pooh.
Unsurprisingly, Willow bestows a hug on Xander just as Cordelia arrives; Xander is safe when it comes to display of emotions.
Cordelia, with feigned sweetness, saccharine
CORDELIA
That's so cute. She is like a little dog humping everyone's leg.
The CORDETTES giggle on cue and it is smacks of cultish, blind worship of Cordelia.
Buffy, caustically
BUFFY
Don't stop now Cordelia; I hear our tennis team is still STD free, unlike the football, basketball, and baseball. Reach for the ho, girl.
CORDELIA
Meow! Your girlfriend not putting out, Buffy?
BUFFY
Something you have no problem with.
Cordelia, at her best, arrogant and condescending
CORDELIA
FYI: it's winners that get a tease and a taste, never the entire thing. Unlike you, I have gold standards and allergy to losers.
Pause.
Cordelia, sinking in the dagger, with a smile
CORDELIA
And much better taste. Tell me: your little love poodle is not the same after kissing Cordelia, is she now?
Cordelia walks away top bitch, surrounded by her adoring CORDETTES.
Cordelia, to self, proud and vocal about it
CORDELIA
Damn girl, you bring it.
Buffy seriously considers murder for a moment and then lets it go; her shoulders slump.
Willow, to Buffy, putting a hand on Buffy's arm and stroking soothingly, sympathetically
WILLOW
You want to join We Hate Cordelia Club?
BUFFY
Sign me up for lifetime membership.
XANDER
You almost had her.
WILLOW
That kind on meanness has to be cultivated.
Buffy, her mind on the past, troubled
BUFFY
You would be surprised … I was her.
Pause.
BUFFY
Now my heart is just not in it.
XANDER
My self-esteem thanks you.
BUFFY
Will have to fix that.
Xander, confidently
XANDER
You hold no power over me; I know you care. Right, Willow?
Willow realizes she became absorbed in touching Buffy and takes her hand back. Secretly, she is pleased the Slayer let it go on that long. It shines thru in her response.
Willow, dreamily
WILLOW
Yes to caring, surrounded by hearts, unicorns, and flowers.
XANDER
Willow, you are a hopeless romantic.
Willow, spontaneously to Buffy, pixieish
WILLOW
I am one hundred percent, clinical trial tested, FDA certified, good for you.
Buffy, laughing
BUFFY
That you are.
It is in that precise moment the public announcement system choses to come to life and belch forth a statement.
PA VOICE-OVER
Buffy Summers please report to principal's office. Buffy Summers, to principal office.
XANDER
That did not take long.
BUFFY
Think they will believe me?
XANDER
Call me crazy but saying Flutie is a fermented beverage is not the statement you want to go with. I would go with frothy and full-bodied.
WILLOW
Xander, cease whipping the English language. Buffy, I advise pleading the Fifth.
BUFFY
Say no to truth, say yes to silence, and say no to large Bertha in cellblock A taking my virtue. Got it.
WILLOW
Your logic walks a twisted path.
BUFFY
I know. Toodles, toots.
Buffy leaves.
Xander, yelling after Buffy
XANDER
I get no fancy goodbye?
Buffy, over her shoulder, making him sorry he asked
BUFFY
That was directed at you too.
Willow finishes her packing and organizing.
Willow, closing her locker shut with one hand and pulling Xander along with the other
WILLOW
Come on toots, let's bogey.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - MORNING
Detective Ryan is seating behind the desk, rifling thru the contents spread on the surface, mostly files. Strangely, Flutie's shoe sits up there as well, in evidence bag.
Buffy enters and closes the door behind her, without knocking. Ryan does not even bat an eye. Instead, he reaches for the shoe and shows it to Buffy.
Buffy, dubiously
BUFFY
You want me to sniff it? Don't you, like, have dogs and CIS?
RYAN
CSI; I want to trade. Word is you and yours torched the Whips.
BUFFY
No comment.
Ryan, sounding pleased
RYAN
You did Sunnydale and the Major a favor. He has his eye on you, you know.
Pause.
Ryan, waving the shoe, enticingly
RYAN
I tell you the location of this beauty and you give me Flutie's dump site.
Buffy, playing it close to the vest, unconvinced
BUFFY
And you know it is his because …?
RYAN
His name is inside; mommy dearest signed it.
BUFFY
Why I am not surprised?
Pause.
Buffy, adding brightly
BUFFY
This will cheer up Xander immensely. Please tell me he lived in the basement.
RYAN
Sadly, no.
Pause.
Ryan, setting the shoe down, extending a hand
RYAN
Deal?
Buffy and Detective Ryan shake on it.
Buffy, going with half-truth
BUFFY
The barrels in the basement held humans for feeding. Sort of tap a human instead of keg. I guess vampires do have a sense of humor.
RYAN
There is something you are not telling me; no matter. Million dollar question: dead before or after explosion?
Buffy, being vague on purpose, evasively
BUFFY
That something killed them.
Ryan, leaning forward, keeping his voice low, confidentially
RYAN
Fri morning a white van matching the one spotted at Whips was parked behind the woodshop. The shoe was found there.
Ryan hands Buffy his card.
RYAN
Consider it a get out of jail card. And we did not have this conversation.
Buffy mimics zipping her lips shut and, turning around, leaves.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – ADMINISTRATION - MORNING
Buffy exits the principal's office and immediately runs into Snyder; he is clearly not happy to be kept out of his space and looking for someone to take it out on.
Snyder, sneering
SNYDER
It's our number one delinquent.
Buffy, not liking his tone and not caring to be nice, flippantly
BUFFY
You want an autograph, weasel face?
SNYDER
That's Principal Snyder weasel face.
BUFFY
Can't say that improved it.
Snyder, showing off his power, trying to intimidate Buff
SNYDER
One week detention.
Buffy, not buying his act, brazenly taunting
BUFFY
On what count, Herr Fuhrer?
Buffy scores a direct hit.
Snyder, thru clenched teeth, his dislike clear
SNYDER
I don't like you based in your record; you don't like me based on my appearance.
BUFFY
Oh, it goes deeper than that.
Snyder, snapping
SNYDER
Two weeks!
Buffy smirks.
Snyder, leaning in, threatening
SNYDER
I look forward to expelling you.
Buffy, with a fake smile
BUFFY
I look forward to Hellmouth eating you. Guess which comes first?
Leaving him speechless, Buffy walks away. And makes an enemy.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – BEHIND WOOD SHOP - MORNING
Buffy looks around on arrival and confirms that there is no one around her. She signals “all clear” and is shortly joined by Xander; he shoulders a large, heavy backpack, which he sets down by the door with visible relief. By the metallic sounds it makes on contact with the ground, it is full weapons – sort of a portable armory.
Buffy tries the handle and finds it locked. Unconcerned, she pulls; the deadbolt is no match for the Slayer strength and the mechanism gives, dying spectacularly and somewhat loudly. Xander takes outside guard position and gives her thumb up. Sure that he has her back, Buffy heads inside.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – COOPER/METAL SHOP - MORNING
It is the walled, corner room that Buffy finds herself in, along with Mr. Hall, who regards her with marked interest. Din and hum of students working on projects in the main room filters thru the walls.
Hall, nonplussed
HALL
You could have knocked.
Buffy, itching for a fight, challenging
BUFFY
There will be that and more. Who are you and what's your game?
Hall shakes his head and goes to pick up one of the larger hoops. He comes back and offers it to Buffy.
Hall, calmly
HALL
I work, I get paid. I have no say in the use and I like to keep it that way. See?
Buff examines the hoop from a distance and then, satisfied with its apparently benign nature, takes it. She checks the inside and outside; even runs her hand over the surface and finds nothing.
Noticing Buffy relax and take her eyes off him, Hall changes into a demon form. The shift happens near instantly, almost as if the skin was liquid and the monster inside simply surfaced. What stands before Buffy is a mahogany, bald figure, attired in the shop teacher's outfit. The eyes are yellow and the teeth pointy.
Hall, pointing at the hoop with his finger, casting
HALL
Awake!
One second the hoop is a circular band of iron. One blink later it is a living, quicksilver thing, escaping Buffy's grasp and more surprisingly, reflexes. It wraps itself around her tightly and becomes solid once again. Buffy is squeezed like a sausage in the middle, both her hands crushed into her body. Then she starts to bleed as the symbols appear on the metal.
Hall, enjoying this, pleasantly
HALL
Funny fact: The barrel and the medium mute the effect. This close to skin, it is going to get very unpleasant.
Pause.
Hall, approaching Buffy, informationally
HALL
One more thing Slayer: the jelly drowns yet preserves. Lucky me, you get to suffer without the anesthesia of death for an excruciatingly long time. Lucky you, the intolerable pain will end when you do. Wait, my bad; both are lucky for me.
Hall viciously slugs Buffy and sends her crashing to the floor, dazed. Leaning down, he gags her and stands back up.
Hall, walking away, over his shoulder
HALL
Be a good Wicked Witch of the West and melt.
The flow increases as the band begins draining Buffy in earnest; she starts leaking from her torso, staining her blouse.
Hall walks to the pile of hoops and stops.
Hall, pointing at other hoops, commanding
HALL
Awake! Awake! Awa…
A loud THUNK interrupts his casting as his body jerks from an impact. A head of a bolt emerges out of his chest and a red bloom spreads around it. More hits follow.
The two iron bands, brought to life yet lacking a target, settle for the nearest source of blood. They slither towards Hall and wrap him securely around the thighs and lower chest. He falls down and changes back to human form as he dies, starting to suffer the same bloodletting fate as Buffy, ensuring his end is not a pleasant one.
Buffy looks for the source of the missiles and finds Xander, repeating crossbow in hand, standing by the rear door to the outside. He is crying.
Buffy, trying to get his attention, whispering urgently
BUFFY
Xander!
Pause.
Buffy, louder, ordering
BUFFY
Xander, snap out of it! Get over here!
Hearing her command and obeying automatically, his body on autopilot, Xander approaches Buffy. He looks totally out of it.
Xander, tearfully and numbly, despairing
XANDER
I killed my future.
Buffy kicks him in the shin and he yelps.
BUFFY
Xander, focus! Mind cutting it off before I exceed the Red Cross yearly donation limit?
Xander is about to make a retort when he notices the poor shape Buffy is in; the crimson is expanding.
Xander, taking a quick look and wincing, apologetic
XANDER
Not without hurting you.
Buffy, sounding fearless and determined
BUFFY
Do it.
Xander runs off and soon comes back with two earmuffs, two wraparound safety glasses, a grinder, and a pair of work gloves. He dresses Buffy and dons rest of the safety equipment.
Xander, picking up the tool, wishing there was another way
XANDER
I am sorry.
Buffy nods grimly and Xander starts the grinder, lowering the spinning disc to the spot where the arm and body meet, correctly judging it to be the most opportune site for surgery. There is a slight dip in that spot, giving him room for error.
Sparks fly on contact and the slow chewing of metal begins. Buffy expression remains stoic; her body lies, taunt with tension.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY – AFTERNOON
Buffy comes out of the Giles's office, adjusting her shirt; Willow is right behind her. There are bandages on both forearms and around the Slayer's stomach, showing up as a bulge.
Xander leans against the table in his work uniform, the hat next to him, laying on the flat surface. He does not look happy.
GILES
Remember Willow: change the dressings tonight and in the morning if needed.
Willow, enthusiastically
WILLOW
Yay me! I am playing nurse tonight.
Pause.
Willow, walking up to Xander, teasing
WILLOW
Jealous?
Xander's reaction is immediate and unexpected.
Xander, to Willow, lashing out, viciously hurting both women
XANDER
Willow, she does not see you that way, like me; she never will. That won't stop her from sucking you dry. All Buffy does is destroy lives.
Buffy looks stricken as Xander slams the Doublemeat Palace hat on his head and marches out. Willow looks at Buffy with a plea in her eyes and the Slayer's brain picks that very moment to screech to a halt. Taking the silence as an answer, Willow runs out of library; ostensibly after Xander, more likely to get away from Buffy. Tears shine in her eyes.
Giles, not giving Xander's behavior much thought, dismissively
GILES
Give him time.
Pause.
Giles, finally buying a clue, delicately
GILES
Has your relationship with Willow … changed?
Buffy, gloomy
BUFFY
It just did.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – CEMETERY – NIGHT
Buffy meanders thru the graves stake in hand and mind wondering. Angel comes up alongside her and falls in step. They walk together thru the cemetery.
Angel, startling Buffy, evenly
ANGEL
I won't come between you and Willow.
Buffy, noticing him for the first time, emphatically denying
BUFFY
Huh?! No and no! No, she has a crush and a thing for blondes. I am one hundred percent in the boys' camp. I like the boys' camp; sworn member of the boys' camp. Because, you know, it so has boys and the liking and did I mention boys?
Angel, humoring her
ANGEL
Buffy, I get it.
Buffy, quietly
BUFFY
I am a girl and I talked to her.
ANGEL
There is more.
BUFFY
It is that simple. First time for those two in her life; she is innocent to a fault.
Buffy and Angel stop as if reading each other's thoughts; they turn and face. In a happy happenstance, the clouds break and reveal a full moon. A slight breeze stirs the vegetation and sprouts goose bumps on Buffy's mostly bare arms, aside bandages.
ANGEL
Then?
Buffy, daring and inviting at once
BUFFY
Make your advances.
Angel reaches out and rubs up and down on the outside of Buffy's chilled arms. Abruptly, he stops and turns away, composing himself. Buffy, guessing shyness, lets it go. Soon enough, Angel regains his bearing; he takes off his leather jacket and turning, puts it around her shoulders. The incident goes without mention by either; it's ignored.
ANGEL
Call me old fashioned.
BUFFY
Ooh, a classic with a twist. I so am your girl.
ANGEL
Don't make it too easy.
Buffy, hesitantly
BUFFY
… Angel?
Angel, trying to put her at ease, in jest
ANGEL
Buffy?
BUFFY
Did you go to Whips before? Or others; for … personal reasons?
ANGEL
No.
BUFFY
That's good.
Pause.
Buffy, fingering the stake in her hand, apprehensive
BUFFY
I know what you are.
ANGEL
That a problem?
BUFFY
You are a boy.
ANGEL
Thanks for reminding me.
Buffy, shrugging, unperturbed
BUFFY
I'm dealing. Word of warning: teeth come out, jaw gets broken.
ANGEL
No fangs. Anything else?
Buffy, being silly, demonstrating the one in her hand
BUFFY
Stay away from stakes.
Angel reaches out and takes Buffy's free hand in his. He promptly vamps out and advances. Buffy frees her hand and goes into combat stance. Her every instinct is screaming kill; she does not. Instead she holds her position and it becomes a weird standoff, a Vampire and a Slayer locked into a staring contest, faces inches apart.
A full minute passes before Angel's face changes back.
Angel, knowing there are no excuses for his behavior, simply
ANGEL
Sorry, the blood sings and I heed it.
Buffy, not holding it against him, flirting
BUFFY
Yours and mine.
Pause.
BUFFY
That is so not going to work. Someone is either getting fanged or introduced to Mr. Pointy.
Angel, amused
ANGEL
You are going to beat me to death with a stuffed toy?
Buffy, cheeky
BUFFY
I could, but I am not that cruel. I named my stake.
Pause.
Buffy, warningly
BUFFY
Don't say it!
Angel, jovially
ANGEL
How about we enjoy the mutual company and continue our walk?
BUFFY
Sweet. Like I said: I am your girl.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – NIGHT
Buffy enters thru the windows and finds Willow working on a computer in her pajamas. The witch flies out of her seat at the sound of window's closing and rushes Buffy with intent to hug. That comes to an abrupt stop when she notices the leather jacket. And from her expression she knows who gave it to the Slayer.
Buffy takes off the jacket and puts it on Willow. The witch resists at first, and then acquiesces. That done, Buffy steers Willow to bed and they both sit on the edge, facing each other, knees touching.
BUFFY
Promise you won't be mad?
Buffy gets a sulk accompanied by silence.
Buffy, taking Willow's right hand in both of hers, asking nicely with pleading thrown in
BUFFY
Please?
Willow, unable to resist, in small voice, barely audible
WILLOW
… Yes.
BUFFY
Angel and I, we can't be … physical. He is a tormented vampire.
Willow, noncommittally
WILLOW
Oh.
BUFFY
He goes grr, I go grr. There is a lot of grr and it leads to badness. And all we did was hold hands. You just know someone is going to die for a kiss.
Willow, hurt
WILLOW
Y-you ...
Pause.
Willow, tries again, her heart breaking
WILLOW
You … want?
BUFFY
Willow, we don't have to talk about it.
Willow surprises Buffy with an intense hug, nearly bowling her over in the process.
Willow, holding tight to Buffy, tearfully
WILLOW
But, but … Buffy, you like Willow-hugs and Willow-snuggles. Willow-cuddles and Willow-kisses are just as good. Better! And there are other Willow hyphen things – I seen the wilds of Internet!
Pause.
Willow, throwing caution away, going for broke, begging
WILLOW
Tell me you feel something.
Buffy, carefully prying Willow away and holding her at arm's length, unreadable
BUFFY
Willow, your hyphens are not for me; you are not for me.
Willow gets up and starts pacing, hugging the leather jacket for comfort. She slumps and practically disappears into it. Buffy leaves her alone, knowing it is not her choice to make.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – HOUR LATER/NIGHT
Willow stands by the windows, where she has been standing for half an hour. Finally, Buffy can't take it anymore and goes to her.
Willow stiffens at the Slayer's approach and only relaxes when Buffy's arms go around her and press her into the body behind her. Buffy's chin rests on the witch's shoulder.
Buffy, honestly
BUFFY
I feel affection for you but no attraction. I feel both with Angel. Willow, I am completely straight; not desire for any girl. It has always been and will be boys: Billy, Tyler, Pike, and Angel. Where does that leave us?
Willow, hope restored and spirit buoyed, happy
WILLOW
You do feel something!
Buffy leans her head to the side and rests it against Willow's; the action speaks volumes.
Willow, throwing it out there with a rapidly beating heart, shyly offering
WILLOW
Friends with emotional benefits?
Buff, agreeing, content
BUFFY
Willow-friend is the best friend a girl can get.
CUT TO:
EXT. UK – CEMETERY – MORNING
A light drizzle caresses the land. Forest surrounds an enormous, walled cemetery. Individual, leafless trees dot the place, but it is mostly grass and graves. The day is overcast and cold. The view of the cemetery is of a bird flying overhead.
CHOIR VOICE-OVER
Through the valley of the shadow I must go,
Where the cold waves of Jordan roll;
But the promise of my Shepherd I will know,
Be the rod and the staff to my soul.
Even now down the valley as I glide,
I can hear my Savior say, “Follow me!”
And with Him I'm not afraid to cross the tide;
There's a light in the valley for me.
A long line of MOURNERS, interspaced with PALLBEARERS, snakes towards seven open pits, leaving clouds of exhale in their wake; a PRIEST awaits them. An open pavilion has been set to provide shelter from the elements. The caskets are being carried in the procession. In a tradition stretching back past memory, the fallen soldiers are coming home.
CHOIR VOICE-OVER
There's a light in the valley,
There's a light in the valley,
There's a light in the valley for me,
And no evil will I fear while my Shepherd is so near,
There's a light in the valley for me.
One by one, the coffins are placed on wooden supports over the holes and the crowd of MOURNERS and PALLBEARERS gathers in tight group opposite the PRIEST.
CHOIR VOICE-OVER
Now the rolling of the billows I can hear,
As they beat on the turf bound shore;
But the beacon light of love so bright and clear,
Guides my bark, frail and lone, safely over.
I shall find down the valley no alarms,
For my Savior's blessed smile I can see;
He will bear me in His loving, mighty arms,
There's a light in the valley for me.
Symbolizing the Heaven-bound souls, the view soars into the air above the cemetery as the final refrain of the hymn plays.
CHOIR VOICE-VOICE OVER
There's a light in the valley,
There's a light in the valley,
There's a light in the valley for me,
And no evil will I fear while my Shepherd is so near,
There's a light in the valley for me.
FADE OUT: