by
Bard
Editor
Bleu Gato
Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyright 20th Century Fox Film Corporation . All original content of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is copyrighted by the author and is not to be used or modified without permission. All rights reserved.
Contact: bard@xena2.com
Blog: www.xena2.com/blog
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – STREET – EARLY MORNING
Buffy and Willow are walking together, holding hands. Xander skates up to them and hops off in well-practiced motion. He picks up the board and falls into step smoothly, making it look effortless. If only he applied the same dedication to studies, thinks Willow.
BUFFY
You're overachieving this morning.
XANDER
Class cutting is precise science. I take pride in slacking.
Pause.
Xander, to Buffy, puzzled
XANDER
Why you carrying Willow's backpack?
Buffy, swinging their joined hands, happy
BUFFY
Friend zone with benefits.
XANDER
It is against the law to park your benefits in the friend zone. Say, any digital media to go with those? I volunteer if you have hands full ripping the clothes off.
BUFFY
No and Hellmouth no.
Willow, impishly
WILLOW
Memories are all we have; wicked memories.
BUFFY
We are not doing it Xander.
Xander, fervently
XANDER
No, you have to be doing it! I can help: scented candles, bubble bath, romantic music, red wine, massage oil. Whatever will get me naughty-friction action footage, I am there for you.
Willow, making a big production of offense taken, punching him in the upper arm
WILLOW
You did not just go there. You did! Xander!
Xander, flinching from the hit, meekly
XANDER
In my defense I have none. Pick one: self-respect, self-esteem, success, manliness. The shields, they are breached and the warp core is exploding.
BUFFY
We already have Willow for that.
XANDER
Popular culture? I am her Yoda.
BUFFY
Thanks for ruining her. And no, babbling is the winner.
Willow halts her steps, bringing everyone to a stop.
Willow, pouting adorably
WILLOW
Standing here. Withholding sugar.
Buffy lets go of Willow's hand and checks the witch's behind. Xander follows course and notices a bulge in the pants' welt pocket. Buffy starts rooting in there, until she strikes a package of chocolate M&Ms. The Slayer claims the spoils as Xander scratches his head.
Buffy, ripping it open with her teeth and dumping some into her mouth, triumphantly
BUFFY
No you are not.
Xander, looking from Buffy to Willow, frowning
XANDER
Why are you playing where in the Willow is candy?
Willow reaches for her own backpack and opening it, gets some Skittles. This goes into the slash pocket on the front of her pants.
Willow, making sure that Buffy sees her put the new goodies there, smugly
WILLOW
She is not. I am.
Xander, catching on, highly impressed
XANDER
I see. I admire.
Willow, loftily
WILLOW
Giles repeatedly stresses Slayer training. I am sharpening her people and body language reading skills with every package of sweet, delicious sin.
XANDER
Willow, trust me. Even blind, she couldn't miss the big, flashing neon sign saying: eat here.
Buffy, wisely
BUFFY
Candy is totally the ultimate evil. Only childproof caps come close.
Xander, shaking his head, reproachful
XANDER
You gone and done it; there is a sugar demon in our future.
BUFFY
Delicious, I say.
XANDER
You are a lost cause. Willow, I don't say it enough: you are a genius. A demented, twisted genius and … can I just bask in your brilliance?
Willow, waving her arm, benevolently and magnanimously
WILLOW
Bask away, peon.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – STREET NEAR SCHOOL – EARLY MORNING
When they approach the school building, Willow's demeanor changes; she removes her backpack from Buffy and increases the distance from the Slayer, dropping the hand holding. Her arms draw in protectively and her hands drift towards the front of her body. The witch goes into her shy shell.
Surprisingly, it is Xander who takes action. He pulls the backpack off Willow's shoulder and onto his.
Xander, surprised and stating the obvious, his voice strained
XANDER
Oof. Knowledge is heavy on heavy. Willow got tonnage.
Buffy, to Xander, teasing
BUFFY
That's a good girl.
This time Xander is ready.
XANDER
Not everyone not named Buffy takes Slayer steroids. I think it explains the grr. And pimples – no worries, you can hardly see them.
Buffy instantly reaches for her compact mirror and starts checking her face worriedly.
Xander, putting an arm around Willow, amiably
XANDER
Xander, the surrogate girlfriend: safe in public, PDA friendly, and may I say, better looking than the real thing.
Willow wraps an arm around his midsection.
WILLOW
Hugs extra?
XANDER
Hugs free.
Willow, mischievously
WILLOW
Can I call you Buffy?
Xander, dramatically
XANDER
Drive the knife in … almost there … twist it … ah there, that's got it!
Willow, resting her head on his shoulder, warmly
WILLOW
Think I will keep you.
Xander, returning the sentiment
XANDER
I missed this.
Buffy, trailing behind them, searches hard enough and finds one zit. It is an epic tragedy.
Buffy, on discovery of a lone imperfection, lamenting
BUFFY
I am a monster!
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – MAIN STREET – EARLY MORNING
An ELDERLY LADY briskly shuffles down the sparsely occupied sidewalk, passing several stores. She comes to a stop in front of Dragon's Cover, a magic shop. Looking around and seeing no one pay attention to her, the ELDERLY LADY grabs the nearby trash basket and throws it thru the shop window. It goes right thru it and smashes into the glass shelves loaded with new age knickknacks, breaking them in turn and sending a rain of destruction inside.
The ELDERLY LADY takes off, right into the nearby alley. She hurries down the narrow passage and then ducks into the one running behind the shops. The ELDERLY LADY finds a spot behind a dumpster and takes out a cell phone. She smiles when it makes a new message noise and quickly checks it.
ON THE SCREEN
Congratulations Margaret! You have 1000 Fantasy dollars. Enjoy!
ON MARGARET
Margaret, excited
MARGARET
Mama is going shopping!
Margaret turns off the device and stashes it back in her purse. Ensuring no one saw her and that the area is clear, she moves out.
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INTRODUCTION
On the screen, various images of Buffy and the Scooby Gang appear and a voice reads the passage.
BUFFY VOICE-OVER
Into every generation she is born; one girl in the entire world, a Chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and the skill to fight against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH – EARLY MORNING
Buffy, Willow, and Xander find the usual chaos replaced by eerie quiet. STUDENTS have cell phones and tablets out and are busy with them. No one is talking and the few STUDENTS not involved with personal electronics are skulking about, afraid to disturb the silence.
Snyder emerges from the main door, takes a deep breath and sweeps his eyes approvingly over the STUDENTS.
Snyder, pleased
SNYDER
There is only one thing that would make this perfect …
The herd of Cordelia and the CORDETTES passes by him, chattering away and his face twists in disapproval. They ignore him completely and head through the door.
Cordelia, from inside, disdainfully
CORDELIA VOICE-OVER
Seriously, who let the troll out?
Snyder pretends that was not directed at him. He has a harder time ignoring the next comment about him.
Buffy, innocently
BUFFY
Teenagers these days: you have to throw the Principal before the troll. Show the short, balding man the exact measure of respect he deserves.
Xander, jumping in
XANDER
You wouldn't catch me even thinking of calling him Principal Troll, no matter how accurate the description.
Encouraged, Willow opens her mouth.
Snyder, with an edge to it, daring
SNYDER
Say it, Miss Rosenberg. Show the world what you truly are. Say it and make my year.
Xander claps a hand over Willow's mouth and pushes her past the Principal; she mutters into his hand.
Buffy, singing brazenly as she disappears inside
BUFFY
Those who have seen your face,
Draw back in fear.
I am the mask you wear.
It's me they hear.
Snyder shoots pure venom after Buffy.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY OFFICE – EARLY MORNING
Buffy, Willow, and Xander pile into the small space and drape themselves over the furnishings. Without ceremony, Giles hands them cellphones.
Giles, fixing Willow with a steely gaze as she is already fiddling with hers, sternly
GILES
Official issue: secure, scrambled channel, tracking of other units in our group, strictly limited to WAO access and Slayer functions deemed …
Willow, interrupting, smugly
WILLOW
Unlocked it!
Buffy, quickly
BUFFY
The what of WAO?
Giles, taking the phone away from Willow, irritated
GILES
Willow, give me that. Fortunately, we planned for that possibility.
Giles puts away witch's phone and takes out another one. It is clearly marked with sticker bearing Willow's name in capital, red letters. He tosses it to her.
Giles, turning to Buffy, proudly
GILES
Watchers' Archive Online. If Slayer will not go to the knowledge, the knowledge must come to the Slayer.
Buffy, unimpressed
BUFFY
Score none for British ingenuity; no wonder the empire is toast. Oh, and in case anyone wants to make a crack about books, I am allergic to them and smartasses. Thread gingerly.
Willow, suddenly
WILLOW
Yay me!
Giles, exclaiming
GILES
Come bloody on! This was secured by the best of minds; how can you unlock it in seconds?
WILLOW
They left the default password on?
Giles confiscates all the devices he recently handed out.
GILES
Come back for yours at lunch; I have England to call.
Xander, finally joining in, enthusiastically
XANDER
We sure showed him!
BUFFY
Slow clap.
In coordinated manner, Buffy and Willow do so.
Xander, defiantly
XANDER
I will just speed it up in my mind and make it sound like applause.
Buffy, pulling Willow out by her hand, cutting the mocking short, with a parting shot
BUFFY
Come on Willow, Xander brain drain is not a sight for human eyes.
Willow gives Xander an apologetic look and allows Buffy to drag her away. Xander sighs and slumps in place.
Xander, wistfully
XANDER
Those two are inseparable; school, patrol, tutoring, and overnights. How do I compete?
Giles, giving Xander full attention, fatherly
GILES
By not; be their friend.
XANDER
They are not lovers.
Giles, uncomfortable with the directness, mumbling
GILES
Um, yes.
Xander, confused
XANDER
Why would Buffy be with Willow if she is not her type? I understand my best friend but what is Buffy getting out of it?
Giles, navigating carefully, stiffly, growing rather uneasy towards the end
GILES
Buffy can't date Angel and she wants to. They get close, he loses control and the Slayer responds. On the other side, Buffy plays girlfriend for Willow's parents. The rest, no clue; are they or aren't they, Buffy won't say.
Pause.
Giles, seeing Xander's accusing look, defensively
GILES
I am her Watcher. She tells me things, up to a point. You are Willow's best friend – perhaps you should follow suit?
XANDER
I will do that.
Xander stands up and goes to the door, only to stop in the doorway. He stands there for a while and then, mind made up, he faces Giles with a determined set to his features.
Xander, strongly and insistently
XANDER
I am part of the inner circle.
Giles considers it for a moment and then nods approval.
Xander, sharing, bravely throwing it out there
XANDER
Giles, I removed and buried the bones from Sunnydale Witch Coven. How do I consecrate the remains?
Giles, sharply
GILES
Who is the witch?
Xander, evasively, stalling
XANDER
How did you know?
Giles, impatiently
GILES
Entrance is invitation only; you were escorted on premises by the real thing.
Pause.
Giles, pointedly
GILES
You asked in; the witch, Xander.
Xander, hesitantly revealing, quietly
XANDER
… Willow.
Giles, starting to pace, making it sound like swearing, bitingly
GILES
Stupid girl.
Xander starts to tip toe out, surreptitiously making for the exit. The movement catches Giles' eye and he covers the distance between them in few steps.
Giles, arresting Xander's escape, firmly
GILES
You are going to help fix this …
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – HALLWAY – MORNING
Buffy and Willow make their way together between classes. The witch takes out a bag of chips, opens them, and hands them to Buffy, who sets upon the poor things with murderous intent. Suddenly, as if remembering her manners, the Slayer offers the snack to Willow, who shakes her head negative. Mischievously, Buffy takes out one chip and hand feeds Willow, who nimbly takes it from her fingers before her mind catches up. Then the witch nearly chokes on it as amused Buffy watches her. No STUDENT pays them attention; most are busy with their phones and the rest appear indifferent or okay with the display.
Willow, coughing chip pieces, embarrassed and a little mad
WILLOW
Why did you do that?!
Buffy smiles mysteriously and then returns to eating and walking as if nothing happened. Willow catches up and then tentatively takes Buffy's hand in hers as a way of apology. Buffy glances down at their intertwined fingers and then grins at Willow.
Willow, encouraged by the response, mumbling shyly
WILLOW
Sorry, public wigging.
Satisfied that all is well with her world once again yet short a hand, Buffy resorts to dumping the contents of bag directly into her mouth. She crumbles the package and hits an arching, perfect three point shot thru the rim of the nearest trash can.
Buffy, playfully
BUFFY
You scored yourself a limited edition Slayer Barbie; take her out for a drive once in a while.
WILLOW
I very want, I do, but …
Before Willow finish, Buffy's reflexes halt them in a nick of time. An ATHLETIC STUDENT wearing a football helmet, likely one of the players but out of uniform except for headgear, runs head first into a trophy case. The ATHLETIC STUDENT passes right in front of Buffy and Willow, barely missing running them over.
As stunned Buffy and Willow watch, the ATHLETIC STUDENT grabs a large trophy at random and runs off, taking out a cell as he does so.
Buffy, stating the obvious in self-aggrandizing manner while pointing a finger at the sky
BUFFY
Aha! My keen intellect deduces evil is afoot, Dr. Rosenberg. Say, who was that extra-large and crazy gentleman?
In the background, STUDENTS start to congregate and whisper in hushed tones, discussing the incident.
Willow, her mood turning gloomy, sighing
WILLOW
Larry the bully, of I play football, crush beer cans on my forehead, and make caveman grunts variety. I occasionally do jocks' assignments so they won't play “dunk the Xander” in boy's restroom.
BUFFY
Dip and swirl?
Willow, shuddering
WILLOW
Unflushed.
Buffy, commenting sadly
BUFFY
The high school food chain is a thing of cruel beauty.
Snyder picks that moment to come running and he takes in the shattered glass and the missing trophy as a personal affront. Buffy shrugs and smiles innocently, showing her empty hands.
Snyder, outraged, crying out as he sweeps his eyes over the gathered STUDENTS
SNYDER
Savages, you savages!
Buffy helpfully points him in the wrong direction and Snyder heads opposite to it.
Willow, singing out
WILLOW
Busted.
Buffy, shaking her fist after the Principal, theatrically
BUFFY
Towards you I shout, you all-destroying but impotent troll; to the last I grapple with you; from Hell's heart I stab at you; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at you. Curse you, curse you; I damn you thousand times over to suffer my curse!
The SUTDENTS around Buffy look at her as if she lost her mind and back away slightly.
Willow, dragging Buffy away, giggling
WILLOW
Come on, drama-mama; leave the harmless puffer fish alone.
Buffy at first allows her and then something catches her eye and Willow's effort goes nowhere; it is like trying to move a mountain. Giving up, Willow first looks at Buffy for an explanation and then follows her gaze.
Buffy, pointing at one of the STUDENTS taking their pictures, curious
BUFFY
Who is the wrong vibe with the camera?
WILLOW
Slayer sense?
BUFFY
Freak-o-meter; he is ignoring the glassy carnage and concentrating exclusively on yours truly.
Willow, with dislike
WILLOW
Creepy Warren, courtesy of the yearbook committee.
Pause.
Willow, now uneasy with the attention Warren shows them
WILLOW
He is in computer club; stalker attentive and obscenely suggestive. He wanted to plug in his cable even after I told him I don't take his kind of connectors.
BUFFY
You even reject in geek; I am in awe. What convinced him to back off?
Willow, proudly
WILLOW
Xander defended my honor. Tracked him down after reading a particularly vile IM and punched him, blooding his nose.
BUFFY
There might be hope for him yet.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – HALLWAY – LATE MORNING
Buffy drops Willow's hand and heads inside the classroom without a backwards glance. Willow stands there looking after her long after the Slayer is gone. Finally, Willow exhales loudly and moves off. A MAN, unnoticed by anyone, follows her.
GIRL, appearing out of nowhere at Willow's side, sympathetically
GIRL
Girlfriend trouble?
Willow, protesting by reflex and then going all over the place
WILLOW
No, no … Love-a-lot Bear fine … who are you?
GIRL
Anya; I'm around. If Buffy breaks your heart, let me know. She hurts you, you make the bitch pay.
And just like that Anya is gone, like she was never there in the first place. Willow stops.
Willow, standing and looking around as the STUDENTS flow past her, confused
WILLOW
Okay …?
Willow does not see the MAN behind her disappear as well. She is not aware of his presence from the beginning; neither is Anya.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – NOON
The last STUDENT files out, heading to lunch; it leaves Warren alone at this monitor in the back. Anya picks that moment to waltz in and she makes a beeline for him.
Anya, brightly
ANYA
It's working!
Warren, looking up, unhappy
WARREN
Undo it. I want the girl she is with.
Anya, her cheer evaporating, putting Warren in his place, caustically
ANYA
Out of your league Buffy? Missing the concept here, lover boy.
MAN, joining Warren and Anya out of thin air, calmly
MAN
Problem?
Anya's reaction is one of fear and anger.
Anya, screaming at Warren, mad
ANYA
You stupid, insignificant man; you did not make a deal with HIM?!
MAN, amiably
MAN
See Warren, vengeance demons have been known to work without contract and Hell frowns on freelancers – if they get caught. Did she have you sign anything in blood?
ANYA
You wouldn't …
MAN, to Warren
MAN
You are free.
Pause.
MAN, to Anya
MAN
And you … enjoy your stay.
Anya rushes out, upset.
The MAN turns his attention back to Warren.
MAN, asking his head, disappointment plain in his voice, tsking
MAN
Warren, Warren, Warren.
He reaches behind the computer case and retrieves a dull, black object. It is part stone, part metal; wires cross the surface, similar to a circuit board and some lift free, wriggling in the air like a forest of tiny feelers.
Warren, alarmed
WARREN
Fantasy needs a platform and connectivity.
The MAN rips Warren's shirt exposing the bare chest and presses the stone against the skin. Warren cries out as the device takes root in his body; the MAN cuts the noise off by clamping a hand over his mouth. Incredibly, the MAN then lifts him and motions for the nearby closet door to open.
Inside the small space is the wiring closet for the entire school, along with rack of servers and switches. Warren is deposited inside and the wires shoot out of him and fuse with the panels and equipment. The MAN takes the hand away and couple wires immediately extend to Warrens mouth and sew it shut.
MAN
Consider yourself upgraded to pawn.
The door shuts by itself and the MAN vanishes.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - BACK FENCE - EARLY AFTERNOON
Xander walks alongside the rear of school buildings, glancing about, every which way. Coast clear, he runs for the chain-link fence and starts climbing it.
At the exact same instant, Anya barrels forth from between the structures, visibly upset. She spots Xander.
ANYA
You!
Xander freezes and looks back over his shoulder at her.
Anya, unwittingly shifting into her demon face, ordering
ANYA
Comfort me!
Xander is over the fence and sprinting as fast as his legs will carry him.
Anya, annoyed, huffing indignantly
ANYA
What's his problem?
Pause.
Anya, looking herself over, miffed
ANYA
Who would not want all this?
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY OFFICE - EARLY AFTERNOON
Buffy is ostensibly doing homework, her brown bag of lunch set aside for Willow exchange. The book is open but the notebook is empty of notes and features mainly doodles. Buffy appears distracted and keeps glancing at the closed entry door.
To her credit, Buffy does not jump when the voice and the body to go with it greet her eyes and ears unexpectedly.
MAN, tsking, sounding highly disappointed
MAN
You failed girlfriend 101: always treasure her before parting.
The MAN has both arms behind his back.
MAN, bringing forth a hand with Love-a-lot care bear in it, generously
MAN
Her favorite.
Buffy, refusing to take it, sarcastically
BUFFY
Great, the pimp of evil returns, bearing gifts – we are so doomed.
Pause.
Buffy, suspiciously
BUFFY
You are in way too good a mood. Are you taking over the world? Apocalypse?
MAN, lightly
MAN
Eventually, yes. Not this year, full schedule and other commitments.
BUFFY
But you are up to something?
MAN, calculatingly
MAN
Buffy, Warren wished for a vengeance demon to break Willow's heart. Anya cast a love spell on her.
Buffy, noncommittally
BUFFY
Chalk one up for free will.
MAN
She did not know the witch was already in love with you. The magic merely enhanced what was there already. Breaking the spell does not change things for her but does for you … or does it?
The bear issues another invitation, waved enticingly in front of Buffy's face.
Buffy, defeated by cuteness and guilt, taking the stuffed toy, admitting warmly
BUFFY
I care for Willow … a lot. Don't think parting of ways is in the cards.
MAN, nodding sympathetically
MAN
Explains things for her, complicates them for you. Still, she does not have to know.
Buffy appraises his posture, wondering what else the MAN is hiding behind his back.
Buffy, one prize secure, cheekily asks for more
BUFFY
Got chocolate?
MAN, bringing his other hand forth and producing a chocolate bar, ribbing
MAN
Going for apology or kissage?
Buffy, ripping the paper and foil and tearing into the dark delicacy with relish
BUFFY
Nah, I'm hungry.
Pause.
Buffy, hamming it up, toasting him with partially eaten piece
BUFFY
Till next time, mortal nemesis.
MAN
I look forward to it.
The MAN vanishes and the door handle turns with perfect timing.
Willow barely opens the door when Buffy is draped over her neck, arms crossed behind Willow's nape, faces close. Willow puts her hands on Buffy's hips, emboldened by the Slayer's audacious advance.
Willow, bringing them breath-close, softly
WILLOW
I could have been Giles.
Buffy, trapped, tries to buy time and get out of this without hurting Willow, joking
BUFFY
That would have been awkward.
Willow, misreading Buffy's panic for interest, tilts her head and closes her eyes. She is definitely not in the mood for jest; the object of her desire is close enough to taste and she does.
Gliding her hands up Buffy's sides, she kisses her. It is a gentle, tentative brushing as Willow gets comfortable and then boldly turns into firmer meeting of lips. Willow, initially timid, gets it right quickly and presses her advantage; Buffy just stands there, not reciprocating.
Reluctantly, Willow pulls back, licking the shared chocolate and hungry for more sugar and Buffy. The non-participation of Buffy is not registering on her.
Thinking fast, as Willow's hands resume their roaming progress towards either cupping her face or tangling in her hair, Buffy sticks the bear between their faces. Willow frowns, opens her eyes, and finds herself nose to nose with Love-a-lot.
Buffy, holding the bear like a cross to ward off the vampire, escapes while Willow is distracted.
In response, Willow moves her head to the side, past the toy blocking her view.
Willow, frowning
WILLOW
What gives?
The witch tries to go around the bear and Buffy keeps her at arm's length.
Willow, starting to freak out, worried
WILLOW
What's wrong? Is it me? Am I a bad kisser? Lunch breath? It's me, isn't it?! Oh no, I …
Buffy sighs, interrupting the oncoming babble flood and hands the bear to Willow, who takes it and hugs it protectively.
BUFFY
I did not expect you; you surprised me, in a good way. I meant to hide the bear and the chocolate; hence my clinginess and your one-sided, illicit smooches.
Pause.
Buffy, reproachful
BUFFY
Willow, you promised.
Willow, crushed, chewing her lip and tearing up
WILLOW
I will understand if you hate …
Buffy picks a tissue from a box and stepping up to Willow, delicately wipes her tears. She tosses it into the wastebasket and gets another, for the witch's nose. Willow blows politely and trying to imitate Buffy's shot, completely misses.
Buffy, quietly
BUFFY
I don't regret it, but don't do it again.
Pause.
Buffy, sincerely
BUFFY
It was sweet and you. Speaking of, my lips are not a chocolate dispenser.
Buffy breaks off the chewed end of her chocolate and gives it to Willow with a grin.
Buffy, mischievously
BUFFY
It's got nibbles.
WILLOW
Not big on crust.
Willow pops the fragment into her mouth and enjoys it. It visibly lifts her spirits.
Willow, judging herself forgiven, affectionately
WILLOW
Thank you for my first kiss.
Absentminded, Giles enters his office and catches the last part.
Giles, stunned
GILES
OH MY DAYS!!!
Buffy and Willow quickly scramble out, past the shocked Watcher. Buffy returns a few chagrined seconds later, silently gathers her lunch and books into her backpack and leaves again. She avoids looking at Giles, who is furiously cleaning his glasses and ducking her eyes.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – OUTSIDE LIBRARY - EARLY AFTERNOON
When Buffy exits into the hall and approaches Willow, the witch is securing the Love-a-lot bear to her backpack.
Buffy, with a straight face, profoundly
BUFFY
That bear has seen things; it is an experienced bear.
Willow, embarrassed
WILLOW
I … I can take it off …
BUFFY
Stripping, is it; you trying to lose all your firsts to me?
Willow, blushing
WILLOW
Buffy!
A streaking MALE STUDENT runs by them, with Snyder in determined pursuit. Acting on sheer reflex, Buffy trips him. The MALE STUDENT drops his cell in the struggle to recover but manages to keep his feet under him and keeps going. Snyder gives Buffy a dirty look in passing for her failure to apprehend the suspect.
Willow, picking up the abandoned phone, thoughtfully
WILLOW
Could be a clue; I will be in the library, researching full moon madness.
Buffy tosses her backpack to Willow and salutes her.
BUFFY
Extreme peace officer Buffy: the high school years.
Willow, laughing
WILLOW
Go mall ninja.
Buffy takes off after Snyder. Willow shoulders the second backpack and enters the library.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY OFFICE - AFTERNOON
The door opens wide and lets in the Slayer. Buffy is disheveled mess; she has a rag tied around her right forearm, and a pronounced limp.
Buffy, grumpily complaining, with a hint of whine
BUFFY
That's it, no more security officer Buffy. Last one bit me when I tried to stop him from taking baseball bat to soda machine. We need a better idea than them beating on me instead of inanimate objects; it hurts me less. Giles, are you listening? Giles!
Giles is immersed in his laptop and Willow is lost in her found phone, courtesy of the streaker. Buffy shakes him and he lifts his head and stares at her blankly.
Buffy, pronouncing the words slowly and distinctly
BUFFY
Barbarians at the gate.
Giles, unfocused, mumbling dazedly
GILES
Library of Alexandria …
Buffy, messing with Giles, lightly
BUFFY
There was a party one night and they trashed the place.
Giles, petulantly
GILES
I can bring it back.
Buffy, indulging him, patronizing
BUFFY
You do that. Later; they are starting on Sunnydale High.
GILES
Who is?
BUFFY
The barbarians.
GILES
Did they get credits?
Buffy, pattern forming in her head, astutely observing the pieces click into place
BUFFY
You know, Babe Ruth kept about that when I Alcatrazed him in janitor's closet. Along with suggestions of creative things I could to myself and ways I could become one with his bat - intimately. Kids these days: violence and sexual imagery. I like it. Not the kids, because gross; the other stuff.
The laptop plays a melody and Giles scrutinizes the screen, leaning closer to it.
Giles, jumping up, excited
GILES
If I earn enough money with noble deeds, the lost knowledge will return.
Buffy, placing a restraining hand on his shoulder, with quiet strength
BUFFY
Where you going?
GILES
It is telling me to build a bonfire in the library.
Buffy, pushing him back into the chair, playing the adult, firmly
BUFFY
Fun and games is over. Sit down, fire marshal Bill.
In an eerie imitation of human Whack-A-Mole, Willow is next to pop up from her seat. Buffy is out of free hands to hold order, having both on Giles's shoulders. Thinking fast, she uses her leg to block Willow's escape, with a side kick.
Buffy, looking at Willow, meaningfully
BUFFY
What you doing, Will?
Willow, wringing her hands, desperate
WILLOW
They don't have any clothes! I have to get clothes!
BUFFY
Huh?
Willow, upset
WILLOW
The poor kitties, they are naked!
BUFFY
Okaaay. Explain.
Willow, proud of her accomplishments
WILLOW
I rescued them off the mean streets; bathed and shaved them; individually decorated each of the twenty eight rooms; got them personality-coded nametags, designed the water and food dishes …
BUFFY
STOP!
Pause.
Buffy, heavy on irony
BUFFY
Twenty eight customized cats? In the hour I was gone? You talents are clearly wasted on Sunnydale High.
Willow, allowing, adorably cute
WILLOW
They grow on you.
BUFFY
Sorry, you got fifty years to senile cat lady stage and you are not starting early on this Slayer's watch.
Confident her charges are not going to make a break for it, Buffy retrieves her limbs. She snatches the phone from Willow and checks it. Frowning, she turns it off and places it on the desk, next to the laptop. Next, she inspects the computer.
Buffy, frustrated
BUFFY
Why is there nothing on those screens?
GILES
What do you mean? Wait, you don't see anything?
Buffy, counting the facts on her fingers, working the problem out loud
BUFFY
World Series, Library of Alexandria ….
Willow, supplying her contribution while her hand sneaks towards the confiscated cell
WILLOW
Miss Kitty Fantastico and family …
Buffy slaps Willow's hand away and the witch pouts.
Buffy & Giles, concluding together
BUFFY & GILES
Magic!
Giles opens a drawer and takes out two rings. The bands are iron, plain and worn with age. He puts one on and gives the second to Willow.
Giles, to Buffy, with authority, conclusively cutting off any discussion
GILES
Rings of Stheno and Euryale: make you not stone. Buffy, you are immune.
Buffy, unhappy and not letting it go, pointedly
BUFFY
The vampiric hula hoop disagrees with you.
GILES
That was indirect magic, tiny tubes sinking into skin and draining blood.
Buffy, shuddering
BUFFY
Sucking is such sour suck.
Willow, energetically, cheering
WILLOW
Preach on, sister!
Pause.
Willow, quickly contributing to the solution under Giles's disapproving gaze, helpfully
WILLOW
Hmmm, computers. Think Warren is involved?
BUFFY
Worth checking.
GILES
No torturing the nerds; play extra nice with the socially challenged.
Willow, her mouth ahead of her brain, blurting suggestively
WILLOW
Hear that, Buffy? All the chocolate I can lick. Giles said so!
Giles, shaking his head, majorly disturbed
GILES
I so do not want to know the true meaning of that statement.
Buffy, sighing, melodramatically
BUFFY
I created a kissing monster.
Giles appears ready to faint and wipes at his forehead instead of his glasses.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON
Few STUDENTS are about and those present sit propped or lean on the locker-lined walls, lost in their portable devices. Some of the garbage cans are smoldering, looking newly extinguished, but no one pulls the fire alarm.
Things get more lively and bizarre when three STUDENTS come around the corner, dragging a fire hose with difficulty. The reason for their lurching, stumbling progress quickly becomes apparent, with Snyder doing his level best to stop them. He is swiping at their legs with a straw broom, trying to get them to scatter without injuring them. Abandoning the futile motions and locking onto Buffy, he burns an expectant gaze into her.
Buffy, at one with martyrdom
BUFFY
This is so not going to be a highlight moment.
She charges the STUDENTS and the hose comes alive, hitting her square in the chest. Snyder immediately runs the other way, likely to cut off the flow. Buffy goes back too, landing on her butt.
The students advance, keeping the stream on Buffy. Battered by high pressure jet, she stubbornly gets to her feet and pushes forward.
The STUDENTS laugh at her but their fun does not last long. The water cuts off and the STUDENTS are left holding a hose and facing a Slayer.
Slowly, like a sun emerging from the cloud, an enormous, toothy smile grows on Buffy's face. It is a smile of a predator. The three STUDENTS scream in mortal fear.
CUT:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - HALLWAY - AFTERNOON
It is hard to tell where one body ends and another begins. Where there were three distinct STUDENTS and a hose is now a compact, human ball next to it. At least they are alive, however worse for wear they end up.
Snyder arrives at that moment and upon spotting the living, modern art, does not appear to be pleased.
Snyder, peeved
SNYDER
Heard of appropriate use of force?
Buffy, certain of high moral ground, sassy
BUFFY
They started it.
Buffy holds her head high as she walks away.
Left on his own, Snyder gets behind the human bundle; he slowly begins to roll the living sphere, passing the sign saying NURSE with an arrow pointing the direction.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – AFTERNOON
The door slams open and soaking wet Buffy marches right in. The busy clicking of the keyboards halts. STUDENTS, of both genders - though predominantly male and tipping the geek scale heavily in general - face her.
Buffy, growling, threateningly
BUFFY
If your name is not Warren, leave.
The stampede surges around her and out in seconds. It also brings the attention of a TEACHER from adjacent office; she walks right up to Buffy and smiles, completely unintimidated.
Jenny, joking
JENNY
Jenny Calendar and you are the infamous Buffy Summers. Aren't you allergic to learning and public peace?
BUFFY
Just short, ugly trolls named Snyder.
Jenny, grinning
JENNY
Funny, me too. What brings you to the silicone castle?
BUFFY
Creepy Warren.
Jenny, seriously
JENNY
Slayer business?
BUFFY
… How?
Jenny, simply
JENNY
Gypsy, Kalderash Clan. You reek of demon.
Buffy, snippy, looking down at her feet
BUFFY
I deeply resent that. I'm sparkly clean, mint fresh, and the proof is in the puddle.
Jenny, following Buffy's downcast eyes, neutrally
JENNY
Yes, you are.
Pause.
Jenny, steering Buffy towards her office, concerned, lacing it with humor
JENNY
Step into my office for a change of clothes before you electrocute yourself. Smoking corpses are not good for my permanent employment record. And you can never get the smell out.
Buffy rolls her eyes but keeps well away from computers as they walk past the individual stations.
Buffy, worried
BUFFY
This place feels … tingly. Either that or I am about to dance the funky chicken.
Jenny, matter of fact
JENNY
Magic wards. They keep evil out.
BUFFY
Cool, because me: totally not evil.
Jenny, unable to resist, devilish
JENNY
Tingly …
BUFFY
Hey!
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – AFTERNOON
Buffy, changed into ill-fitting but dry clothes, her hair damp, is standing behind Jenny. The teacher is seated at Warren's usual computer, searching for hints or traces of involvement in the chaos outside.
Jenny, troubled
JENNY
There is protection on the room and individual PCs.
BUFFY
Removed?
JENNY
Worse: replaced with a very high quality fake. If I did not cast the original, I wouldn't be able to tell.
BUFFY
Major badness?
JENNY
Warren is in over his head.
Abruptly, Buffy tilts her head, listening. The silence stretches and Jenny looks at Buffy inquisitively. Buffy puts a finger to her own lips and continues to extend her senses. Finally, she gestures at the closet with her head; Jenny nods understanding.
Buffy tiptoes to the door and grasps the handle. Mr. Pointy makes an appearance in the other one.
Jenny moves behind her, a little black spell book appearing in her hand, the other clutching a triangular crystal. Her lips move without sound.
Buffy throws the door wide open and her jaw drops.
Buffy, wide eyed, wonder and fear fighting for first place
BUFFY
Holy tentacles, Batman!
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – AFTERNOON
Buffy, Willow, Giles, and Jenny gape at the spectacle in front of them.
Warren is the fly in the wiry web of hundreds, connecting him to the machines. However, a significant portion of the feelers are not attached and they dance in a forest stretching outwards. It is a highly effective defense – no sane person is going to stick their arm in there. No such allowances are made by the impatient, action-first Slayer.
Opting for instant results, Buffy makes the first move. She tentatively reaches out, testing the wires. They lash out and lacerate her hand and forearm.
Undeterred, Buffy grabs one and rips it out. The free end instantly doubles back on itself and wraps around her wrist, slicing thru and drawing blood. Before it can do more damage, is goes slack and inert. Buffy easily removes it and holds it up for inspection; it is dead. She even shakes it to make sure.
The Slayer backs out and offers it to Giles, who takes it.
BUFFY
To the research!
Willow has other plans and she captures Buffy and takes her to over to a nearby chair. She sets the med kit she was holding and starts treatment on the injuries. When Buffy hisses in pain, Willow produces large Snickers to distract her. After a few bites Buffy stops eating; she reaches out and wipes the tears on Willow's face with the back of the hand holding the candy bar.
Giles, feebly
GILES
Willow is very motherly.
Jenny, cynically
JENNY
And I sleep with mine too.
Giles finds the wire fascinating to the exclusion of the entire world. Jenny closes the closet; she then takes the Watcher by the arm, winks at Buffy, and departs with him in tow.
Willow begins cleaning the cuts with distilled water, the very picture of concentration.
Stained water steadily drips on the floor as the witch carefully and systematically washes each slash. The only other sound is Buffy chewing.
BUFFY
What's wrong, Willow?
Willow, sniffling
WILLOW
I don't like seeing you hurt.
Buffy, warmly
BUFFY
Thank you.
Buffy takes the last piece of Snickers and feeds it to Willow.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH – LIBRARY – NIGHT
Buffy and Jenny are going thru ancient manuscripts; Willow and Giles are on laptops, doing the same on digital copies.
Xander enters with a plastic bag bearing Express Pump logo and sets it down on table. He starts taking out extra-large coffee cups, sandwiches, and donuts.
Xander, conversationally
XANDER
In case anyone is interested, Sunnydale Thunderdome is now open. In other news, no sign of police; if you want to settle old scores or start new ones, feel free to join the Wild West show outside.
Buffy, lifting her heavily bandaged hand and wrist, sadly
BUFFY
Count me out.
Xander, falsely solicitous
XANDER
It's the right one too; you going to need help changing and showering tonight. I am available.
Buffy, smiling
BUFFY
Going to fight Willow for it? Two women enter, only one leaves.
XANDER
On second thought, I want to live – preferably, scar free.
BUFFY
Smart girl.
Willow keeps her nose in the screen the entire exchange but you can tell she is following it closely by the slight shift in her position and the tilt of her head. Buffy is about to call the witch on it when
Jenny, shouting
JENNY
Got it!
Everyone turns to her. Jenny reads a little more and then lifts the book up, open to an illustration opposite a page of Old Latin text. The faded drawing shows a red rock with black wires sprouting from it.
JENNY
Katharos - it's a demon universal controller, linked to their kind. There are machines in ours and other dimension and they need a way to interface with them.
Blank stares greet her words.
Jenny, demonstrating with her hand, adding
JENNY
Claws and stubby fingers.
Verbal and nonverbal acknowledgements follow.
GILES
I will call Angel.
Buffy gives him a grateful look; Willow looks disappointed.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – NIGHT
Willow ties the bandage off and steps back. Buffy and Angel now sport matching decoration on their right hand.
Giles, hazarding a hypothesis, unsure
GILES
Type of mixed?
BUFFY
Mouse?
WILLOW
One.
Before anyone can stop her, Willow walks into the closet and boldly reaches for the stone at the center of the deadly, living field of stringed metal.
Amazingly, the living wire withdraws and moves aside. Her action is unexpected and the results more so. Hesitant to push further and fast losing courage, Willow stops reaching and looks back for answers.
Buffy, harboring no such doubts, encouragingly
BUFFY
Go for it!
Willow does. The moment her fingers graze the stone, all the feelers, including the engaged ones, pull back. They swiftly submerge under the surface of the stone, leaving it smooth and unblemished. Then, before Willow can pick it up, the flesh under and around it ripples and it sinks into the body.
The skin solidifies and Warren wobbles. Willow clears the closet in a hurry and Giles is there to help Warren out and lay him out on the floor.
Buffy, smartly
BUFFY
FYI, I am not playing doctor.
Xander, too clever by half, smart-ass
XANDER
You are with Willow.
Buffy & Willow, without harshness, exasperated
BUFFY & WILLOW
Xander, shut up.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – NIGHT
Jenny holds five tiny slivers of crystal in her palm over Warren's bare chest and subtly chants in Romani, reading from her spell book. The volume is too low to hear except for occasional, muddled word. Warren appears the same, except his shoes and socks are off and set to the side. His position is a combination of ones in Vitruvian Man.
The quintet starts glowing, building in intensity, until the five pieces look red hot. On signal from Jenny, Giles hovering nearby, lifts Warrens right hand, palm up.
Jenny, picking up one of the slivers and pressing it into the palm, commanding
JENNY
Pand!
The entire fragment is driven inside the flesh, leaving no mark for its passage, only a diffused light under the skin.
Giles sets the Warren's arm down and picks his left foot.
CUT TO:
INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH - COMPUTER LAB – NIGHT
Giles backs off and faces Jenny across Warren's sprawled body. Five points of red light are visible: two each on palm and sole; one on forehead.
Jenny holds forth a highly-polished, cut crystal. There are five imperfections on the surface and likely the source of the slivers. The color matches the fragments'.
Jenny, strongly
JENNY
Pand!
A pentagram drawn in crimson appears on the floor under Warren, its points corresponding to location of the slivers. There is a bright pulse and then nothing. The crystal and the buried pieces go dark.
Jenny, handing the crystal she was holding to Giles, friendly
JENNY
Jenny Calendar, chovihani.
GILES
Rupert Giles, Watcher.
Jenny, invitingly
JENNY
Coffee?
GILES
Tea.
JENNY
I can work with that. Let me get my coat and purse.
Jenny walks off in the direction of her office.
Giles, crouching and slapping Warren awake, gravely
GILES
Repeat after me: demons are bad; we don't make deals with demons.
WARREN
<BLEEP> you, old man.
Giles punches Warren in the throat. While he is distracted, the Watcher takes Warren's left hand in his two and breaks his pinkie.
GILES
Slower this time, allowing for youth and stupidity. One, demons bad …
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SUNNYDALE HIGH - NIGHT
Buffy and Angel walk side by side, with Willow trailing close behind them, looking every part the third wheel. The two up front relax, not sensing any danger. The madness of Fantasy appears over.
Sharing a look, the Slayer and vampire increase the distance between them and slow down. Buffy reaches back and takes one of Willow's hands and Angel takes the remaining left. They bring the witch in line with them. Thus joined, the three continue together.
Willow, murmuring, somewhat apologetically as she adjusts her grip on vampire
WILLOW
Sorry, cold hand.
Buffy brings her right hand over and rubs the top of Willow's. It has the desired effect.
Willow, blushing, abashedly
WILLOW
Hot, definitely hot.
ANGEL
Things have a way of working out.
Pause.
Angel, to Willow, softly
Why you? With katharos, I mean.
Willow, evasively
WILLOW
Hunch.
This evidently satisfies both Angel and Buffy and they continue companionably, hand in hand in hand.
Buffy, throwing it out, blithely
BUFFY
Celebrate at the Bronze?
Two voices answer her question at the same time.
WILLOW
Yes.
ANGEL
Sure.
Buffy, innocently
BUFFY
Threesome then?
Willow, mortified
WILLOW
BUFFY!
ANGEL
And here she looks so pure.
Trapped between and by them, Willow puts her head down and wishes to disappear.
CUT TO:
INT. BRONZE – DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT
Buffy dances with Angel, Willow separating them. The two teens are having great time; Willow appears quite inebriated. Angel sort of is there, kind of swaying to the music.
CUT TO:
Buffy and Xander sit at the table, covered in empty glasses. They are looking at the dance floor, where Willow dances with Angel.
Xander, turning to Buffy, puckishly
XANDER
Abandoning girlfriend to a vampire; that's two demerits.
BUFFY
Buzzed Willow is grabby Willow.
XANDER
She's not groping Angel.
BUFFY
Tell that to her fingerprints on my ass.
Xander, starting to get up, happy
XANDER
I feel the need to grove. I feel lucky.
BUFFY
You touch, you die. Best friend is off-limits.
Xander, dropping back into the chair, pretending to be in pain
XANDER
Cramp, cramp!
Willow appears, throwing her arms around Buffy's neck from behind. Her face is shiny and flushed, strands of hair plastered to it. Angel is nowhere to be seen.
Willow, giggling
WILLOW
Found you! Caught you! Eat you!
Xander takes out a phone and snaps a few pictures Buffy and Willow, one stoic and bearing it with an indulgent smile, the other mugging for the camera.
Xander, putting away the phone, to Buffy, sarcastically
XANDER
You say: don't do anything I would not do. I believe you, I truly do. The paragon of virtue that is Buffy shines down on us all.
Buffy glowers at him.
Angel appears with bottled water in each hand and breaks the rising tension. He delicately pries Willow off Buffy and moves her to the adjacent seat. Opening one of the bottles, he hands it to the witch. She drinks obediently.
Angel, to Buffy
ANGEL
Make sure she drinks one tonight and the other in the morning.
Pause.
ANGEL
I had a good time.
Buffy, smitten
BUFFY
Me too.
Angel kisses Willow on the cheek and Buffy does the same, sharing a kiss by proxy. With a small smile, he departs. Willow lifts a hand and touches the place where the Slayer's lips were; it does not go unnoticed by Buffy and Xander.
When Angel gets to the back exit, he turns and looks at Buffy. They stare for a while, lost in each other's eyes.
The moment is broken when a new band comes on to the loud cheers of crowd. It's Dingoes Ate My Baby. Angel is thru the door and gone in a blink.
Xander, to self, worried
XANDER
Forecast: trouble.
CUT TO:
INT. WILLOW'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Buffy assists her friend to the bed and Willow more falls than sits on it. Buffy twists open the second bottled water and hands it to her. The witch drinks a little and puts it on the floor by her feet. The Slayer stands over Willow, watching her.
Willow, holding her head, dizzy and nauseous, groaning
WILLOW
Where is the line, Buffy?
Buffy, joining Willow on the bed, heavily
BUFFY
I don't know.
Willow, tearing up, depressed
WILLOW
I think you should go home. I don't think we should be in the same bed together again. Witchcraft, PDAs, girlfriend, drinking, dancing, talking back, kissing – that's not me. I should be one with research and studying, here with the books and surfing WAO.
BUFFY
Alone?
Willow, her voice breaking up, starting to cry harder
WILLOW
It's simpler. It's … easier. Go.
BUFFY
Okay, that's should. What does Willow want?
WILLOW
What she can't have. Go.
BUFFY
Willow …
Willow, sobbing, heartbroken
WILLOW
It's over. Go.
Without a word Buffy gets up and walks to the window. She looks back one final time, but Willow refuses to meet her eyes. Lifting the window open, Buffy steps outside.
Willow rises from her perch on the bed and makes for the trash can. Kneeling before it, she empties her stomach, crying and puking her guts out.
Suddenly, Buffy is by her side, one hand holding Willow's hair and the other rubbing her stomach. The witch finishes retching and weakly sags into the Slayer.
Willow, tired
WILLOW
Why?
In answer, Buffy hugs her, continuing to soothe the unsettled belly.
Willow, whispering hoarsely
WILLOW
Let me go.
Buffy pulls Willow closer to her body.
Willow, struggling but not very convincingly, louder
WILLOW
Let me go!
Buffy does not and the witch stops fighting after a token resistance.
Willow turns in Buffy's arm and clutches to her tightly, burying her head.
Willow, muffled
WILLOW
Damn it, why won't you let me go?
Buffy, stroking Willow's hair, misty eyed, honestly
BUFFY
Old Willow was should and you are not her. You are my best friend.
CUT TO:
INT. WILLOW'S HOUSE - BEDROOM – NIGHT
Willow is picking thru the pajama drawer and Buffy stands next to her.
Willow, tensely
WILLOW
On the positive side: not an angry drunk.
BUFFY
I corrupted Xander early; you were a matter of time.
Buffy, sensing stalling tactics, places both hands on Willow's upper arms and starts guiding her towards the bathroom.
BUFFY
Come on, let get us presentable for bed.
Willow, grabbing two pairs of PJs at random and offering for inspection
WILLOW
Wait! How do you feel about pear PJs?
Buffy, relentless in her mission, gets them to the bathroom door without further delay.
BUFFY
Life on the razor's edge of fashion; I love it.
WILLOW
Goof.
Buffy opens the door and steers Willow inside. She turns the witch around, with her clutching two PJs to her chest, in a manner of shield.
Buffy, preempting objections, making puppy eyes as she raises her bandaged hand
BUFFY
Please?
Willow reluctantly signals yes and Buffy uses her foot to shut the door close.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUNNYDALE – SACRED GROVE/WITCHES COVEN – AFTERNOON
Buffy and Willow, arriving hand in hand, walk up to find Giles, Jenny, Xander, and Amy waiting for them.
Giles, to Willow and Buffy, raising a hand to forestall objections or questions, in control
GILES
Jenny bound the katharos inside Warren and we had a lively chat about “just say no to demons”. Xander buried the bones and Reverend Asher blessed them; the dead are at peace. Jenny and I are taking over your and Amy's witch education.
Pause.
GILES
And Willow, do we need to have a talk about underage drinking on Hellmouth?
Buffy has the good sense to look ashamed.
Willow, squeaking
WILLOW
Scared sober for life.
GILES
Stay that way.
Xander, wiggling his fingers, silly
XANDER
Or the finger man will get you.
BUFFY
Xander, stating the obvious does not make it funny except when the subject is you.
XANDER
Your face.
Amy, cutting in, bored
AMY
Does the boy loser have to be here? His only power is annoyance.
GILES
Children!
Pause.
Giles, to Willow
GILES
What did Mouse teach you so far?
WILLOW
Old Latin and meditation.
Jenny, looking around nervously
JENNY
Let's take this inside; Sunnydale has eyes.
Murmuring agreement, the group starts to file into the grove; Xander is the last one.
Xander, joking
XANDER
What, no brooms?
Xander is ignored and left standing alone; he hurries up and runs inside after the rest.
FADE OUT: