by
Editor
Bleu Gato
Xena: Warrior Princess is copyright MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. All original content of Xena: Warrior Princess 2.0 is copyrighted by the author and is not to be used or modified without permission. All rights reserved.
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TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. WILDERNESS CAMP EARLY MORNING
Xena comes over join Athena by the fire, the Goddess lost in Gabrielle's scroll. She sits next to her on the log and gently places a hand on Athena's forearm. It breaks the enchanting spell the words have woven and Athena turns questioningly to Xena.
Xena, hesitantly
XENA
Good time?
Athena, patting the hand resting on her forearm, attentively
ATHENA
I'm listening.
Xena, shyly
XENA
Athena?
ATHENA
Yes?
Xena tries to remove her hand and Athena covers it, trapping her. Xena gives her a weak smile, acknowledging the fact that she is caught and not going anywhere.
Xena, plunging ahead, bravely
XENA
I want to buy a gift for summer solstice.
Athena, laughing
ATHENA
You picked the second worst person to ask.
XENA
Who is the first?
Athena, smiling
ATHENA
My beautiful wife, who as you know decorates our home with her hunting trophies. There are more dead animals in the house than live ones in the forest.
Xena, shuddering
XENA
I noticed, felt like they were watching and judging me when I was recovering.
ATHENA
So, who is the gift for?
Xena, timidly
XENA
Gabrielle.
ATHENA
You buy her a blade and you will regret it. I will make certain.
XENA
Not what I had in mind but understood. Can you help?
Athena, thoughtfully
ATHENA
Hmm let's see.
Pause.
Athena, lost in memories for a time, her face lighting up when the answer arrives
ATHENA
They were poor and money was tight. Gabrielle saved for over a year and then one summer festival she bought her first toy. This was when she was ten and she told me how happy she was.
XENA
What happened to it?
Athena, her voice showing how the action touched her, affectionately
ATHENA
She brought it home and showed it to Lila. Then she gave it to her daughter because Lila's joy meant everything to her.
Xena, expecting it but still caught by surprise, exclaiming
XENA
She just gave it away?! All that sacrifice and anticipation handed over without a second thought?
Athena, beaming with pride
ATHENA
Her first and only real toy. She cried and told me how much it hurt but she did it anyway; it is who she is.
XENA
What was it?
ATHENA
A carved, wooden lamb; you pull the tail and the mouth opens.
Xena, unsure, hesitantly
XENA
I am not sure it is very personal.
ATHENA
You cared enough to ask; you cannot back out now.
XENA
Watch me run like the big chicken I am.
ATHENA
You will do the right thing.
Pause.
Athena, inquiring delicately
ATHENA
Can I ask why?
She is surprised by the outpouring of emotion and the silent tears.
ATHENA
Please, don't cry.
Athena hugs Xena and pulls her close. Their heads touch.
Athena, comforting
ATHENA
Shh, what's wrong?
Xena, choking out, voice thick with emotion
XENA
She washed, changed, and fed me for weeks. I have not told her what it meant; she must think I take her for granted. I I want need to show her my
ATHENA
Love? She returns it.
Pause.
Athena, seeing Xena not convinced, tries again, softly
ATHENA
Xena, she does not expect anything from you; you know that.
Xena, stubbornly
XENA
Gabrielle believes in and loves Hope. She deserves something tangible.
Pause.
Xena, abruptly, confessing
XENA
She gave me a love poem.
ATHENA
We talked about it. Relax; no secrets and I trust her.
Xena, urgently
XENA
Athena, I have to do this: offer her a gift.
Athena, wisely
ATHENA
Then do. And make sure you earn every last drachma used to buy it.
XENA
That is a whole lot of massages.
ATHENA
We are going to enjoy pampering.
XENA
Hedonists.
Athena, giggling
ATHENA
Happy wife, happy life.
Xena, grumpily
XENA
I have to sleep through your frequent happy time. Either of you get any happier, I will end you.
This only makes the Goddess giddier. She releases Xena and begins to dance around the fire.
Gabrielle arrives and immediately drops everything. She sets a new speed record for tossing the armor and once done, gives chase after her wife. They run around the camp, screaming, wrestling, and generally playing around like a couple of children. The objective of the game seems to be undressing the opponent, thou in Gabrielle and Athena's case, this is a win-win situation and there are no losers. Well, one.
Gabrielle emerges from the tangle of limbs, triumphantly raising Athena's shoe to the heavens. She then takes off, the Goddess in hot pursuit, hampered significantly by one bare foot.
Xena groans, and puts her head down in defeat; her stomach growls loudly in commiseration - breakfast will be late again.
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. WILDERNESS CAMP EARLY EVENING
Xena sits on the log, munching on an apple and ignoring the dirty looks she gets from Argo. Gabrielle is by the fire, cooking. Satisfied with the progress, she leaves the soup pot to simmer and crouches in front of the fire, looking across it at Xena.
GABRIELLE
Xena, do you like a challenge?
Xena, teasing
XENA
Does getting enough rest with your constant marital relations qualify?
Gabrielle, somberly
GABRIELLE
Athena craves reassurance and I need her that way.
Xena, dropping the joking, sympathetically
XENA
It still hurts, doesn't it?
GABRIELLE
I am whole yet the wound remains.
Xena, carefully
XENA
Callisto's end or other.
Gabrielle, disconsolate, giving voice to the turmoil within
GABRIELLE
Both.
Xena throws the apple core in a perfect arc and Argo snatches it out of the air, contently devouring her prize. Gabrielle shakes her head at their antics and Xena beams like the proud parent of a child. A small smile peeks through the clouds of Gabrielle's sadness.
Xena has accomplished her immediate mission of cheering Gabrielle up and now she gives thought to her feelings.
Xena, sincerely and earnestly, meaning every word
XENA
Gabrielle, you were right to give her a second chance. Callisto received nothing but love and compassion from you and she repaid you with evil. That is on her, not you. You are beautiful inside and out. No mark can burn deep enough to scar your light. You know what I love about you above anything?
Gabrielle, shyly
GABRIELLE
What?
XENA
Your heart - you broke Callisto and stopped.
Gabrielle, tearfully
GABRIELLE
I could not do it, it was not in me.
Xena, gently
XENA
I know. Come here.
Xena drops down from the log and sits with her back to it. Gabrielle scrambles and positions between her legs, using Xena as a back rest. Strong arms draw Gabrielle close and she settles in with a sigh of contentment.
Xena, Hephaestus' metal not exactly comfortable on her, grumpily
XENA
It's more fun with no armor.
GABRIELLE
For you.
XENA
Of course.
GABRIELLE
Here I thought you were thinking of me.
Xena, suggestively
XENA
Oh, I am.
Gabrielle, laughing
GABRIELLE
We need to find you a nice boy or girl.
XENA
Don't want.
GABRIELLE
But definitely need.
XENA
Warriors have discipline.
GABRIELLE
Is that what you call alone, special time? I bet discipline and you know each other rather well.
XENA
You didn't
Gabrielle, simply
GABRIELLE
I respect your privacy. Whenever I found you involved, I gave you space.
XENA
I'm disappointed. Why not the reverse?
GABRIELLE
I don't.
Xena, disbelieving
XENA
Not even once?!
GABRIELLE
No.
XENA
Would you?
Gabrielle, quietly
GABRIELLE
If Athena asked, yes.
Xena, suddenly needing to know, urgently
XENA
Anything?
Gabrielle, trying to make Xena see and reassure her at the same time, warmly
GABRIELLE
Love is giving.
Xena, before she can stop herself, blurting out
XENA
I wish I could have that with you.
Gabrielle, loaded with meaning, worry showing
GABRIELLE
Is what we have not enough?
Xena, drawing Gabrielle closer and resting her head against the bard's, happy
XENA
It's perfect.
Pause.
Xena, out of nowhere, adding bitterly
XENA
More than I deserve.
Gabrielle, pushing her own head into closer contact, affectionately
GABRIELLE
Xena, we love you. You earned hate in your warlord years and receive love now. Both are deserved. Which one you rather have?
Xena, emotionally
XENA
You, Athena, our families our one family.
Pause.
XENA
I deserve this?
Gabrielle, with conviction, strongly and without hesitation
GABRIELLE
Yes.
XENA
Thank you.
Xena, done sharing and satisfied with her place in the world, decides to return to the original question.
Xena, rocking Gabrielle playfully, grinning
XENA
Okay, I will bite. Dangle your worm, fisherwoman.
GABRIELLE
Silvas the Red.
Xena, immediately
XENA
No thanks.
Gabrielle, puzzled
GABRIELLE
Huh?
Xena, patiently elaborating
XENA
Seven foot tall demigod warlord, undefeated in single combat; known for his signature war hammer which turns opponents into stains. Gabrielle, the only way we are taking down that madman is from a distance and chakram is a one shot weapon. It will likely take your arrows to bring him down and I am not putting more blood on your conscience.
Gabrielle, stubbornly
GABRIELLE
Three villages ahead cry under his foot. Word is Hercules is not eager to visit, something about Silvas being Zeus' offspring and Ares' disciple. It falls to us.
Xena, losing the argument, resigned
XENA
What have you heard in the tavern?
Gabrielle, off to the races, excitedly
GABRIELLE
He lives in a stone keep and never leaves; only slaves are allowed inside. Silvas has a dozen men at most, his reputation suffices. No one knows if they are there as his jailers or enforcers. There are strange and conflicting stories circulating, ranging from imprisonment by the Gods and curse from the Fates, to fantastic tales of him turned into a monster feeding on human flesh.
XENA
Bards should not be allowed to imbibe.
Gabrielle, cheekily
GABRIELLE
That is where the inspiration for our best stories comes from.
Xena, pointedly
XENA
I rest my case on Silvas the cannibal.
GABRIELLE
You win. Wife is here; give me a hand.
Xena releases her hold and Gabrielle sits up. Xena starts removing the blood armor as Athena appears.
Xena, to Athena, busy with the straps and buckles
XENA
Say when.
Athena, to Gabrielle, hungry
ATHENA
I want everything off.
Xena, smugly
XENA
I win again.
Gabrielle, rolling her eyes
GABRIELLE
I created a monster.
Gabrielle stands up, free from her armor, still in her tunic. Athena picks up the linen squares and soap and takes off for the stream. Gabrielle takes off her boots and gives chase.
Xena checks to ensure they are gone, then sets the armor aside and makes for the pot of soup. She lifts the lid, producing a spoon and begins to eat, making sure to blow on the hot liquid first.
Xena, murmuring appreciatively between sips
XENA
Elysium.
CUT TO:
EXT. VILLAGE ROAD EARLY MORNING
Two life-size statues greet visitors. In the distance, a larger one, easily triple those, stands in the square. Silvas the Red is a severe man, muscular and clad in armor, with a fierce expression. The monuments do not celebrate his presence; they instill fear into those living in their shadow.
Two standard THUGS lounge near the pair of statues. Their leather armor is dyed red, signifying their allegiance.
Xena and Gabrielle approach them, Argo tailing behind on lead rope.
Gabrielle, reading Xena's posture and the tension in her, impishly
GABRIELLE
Go ahead, you know you want to. All yours.
Xena, relaxing, smile coaxed into rising
XENA
You give the best presents.
THUG, moving into the middle of the road, self-importantly, fooled by Xena's smile
THUG
This road belongs to Silvas the Red
Sentence unfinished, the THUG screams as he is lifted above Xena's head. The distress has less to do with his position or possible, likely tragic fate. It is where Xena has grabbed the THUG before the overhead press. His moment of agony takes a break with his flight towards the statue and then returns with a vengeance as he crashes into it and beheads stone art the hard way. Gabrielle and the nearby VILLAGERS wince at the bone crushing impact.
The other THUG turns and runs away blindly, right into the second statue at full speed. Bouncing off, he crumbles unconscious below it. Unfortunately for him, the impact causes the said statue to become unstable and it falls on him. VILLAGERS gasp and Gabrielle looks at Xena reproachfully. Xena shrugs, this one not being her fault.
Xena, turning away from Gabrielle, addressing the gathering VILLAGERS, grandly
XENA
You are free. I am Xena.
The VILLAGERS scatter and are gone in seconds, leaving dust behind them.
Xena, looking around, miffed
XENA
What?!
Gabrielle whistles innocently, making it a point to avoid looking at Xena.
XENA
Don't. Say. It. And stop whistling.
Gabrielle motions with her head at the bushes to the right of the road. Xena swiftly pivots and dives into them. She comes out holding a BOY of twelve. He is not resisting, eyes grown wide with fear.
BOY, terrified
BOY
Are you our new warlord?
Xena releases him instantly, look of horror on her face; she starts to back away from him. Then Gabrielle is next to her, touching her elbow, lending her strength.
Gabrielle, whispering to Xena, calming
GABRIELLE
He is a child, he does not know you the way I and others do. You are a good person and a hero. Believe in that.
Gabrielle breaks off contact and moves to front of the BOY, who watches this entire exchange with confusion. The bard kneels in front of the BOY.
Gabrielle, friendly
GABRIELLE
I am Gabrielle. Xena is my best friend and we are heroes, here to defeat Silvas the Red.
BOY, unconvinced
BOY
If you are good, why is your armor the color of blood?
Gabrielle, with sorrow
GABRIELLE
They say I went to a village named Locia and did a bad thing, hurt a lot of adults and children. My punishment is for people to see the sin.
BOY, gesturing in Xena's direction
BOY
And her?
Gabrielle, to BOY, dropping her voice and leaning in, conspiratorially
GABRIELLE
Xena says she likes black. If you ask me, she does it because she does not have a fashion sense.
XENA
I heard that.
Gabrielle, to Xena, triumphantly
GABRIELLE
You did not dispute the statement. I win.
BOY
You are funny.
Gabrielle, to BOY
GABRIELLE
And you are ?
BOY, proudly
BOY
Lynal. I am twelve and almost a man. Since father died, I have to be strong for my mother, Melana.
Gabrielle looks him right in the eyes and reads him. He blinks, disoriented for a moment. He stares at her confused, not knowing what just happened.
Gabrielle, persuasively
GABRIELLE
Can you take us to her? We can help around the farm and we have food.
Lynal, taken with the bard, makes the easy choice, bashfully
LYNAL
This way.
Lynal sets off and Xena, Gabrielle, and Argo follow him.
Xena, grinning
XENA
Another heart stolen.
GABRIELLE
I know where you sleep.
CUT TO:
EXT. FARM HOUSE EVENING
Xena is by the well, filling the last of the buckets. Her hair is damp and she sports a clean tunic. Soap, fresh bard-sized tunic, and drying cloth complete the picture.
In contrast, the newly arrived Gabrielle is sweaty and grimy, covered in evidence of hard day's work. She is fully armed and in her leather armor. She removes and places few pheasants and rabbits on the grass, tied together with leather strips.
Xena, amazed that Gabrielle went hunting after all the chores they did today
XENA
Where do you get the energy?
Gabrielle starts making another pile for weapons and armor.
GABRIELLE
You are only twenty six.
Xena, getting the look in her eyes that signifies she is plotting something
XENA
Twenty six in warlord years.
Gabrielle, not sure where this is going
GABRIELLE
And ?
XENA
Exactly.
Gabrielle's boots are followed by the tunic and trousers, leaving her in her underwraps. She steps next to Xena.
Gabrielle, working thru Xena's answer and finding it making no sense
GABRIELLE
Wait, what?
Xena grabs the bucket and slowly pours the liquid over Gabrielle. The bard melts with relief, relishing the cool water washing away the gunk. She forgets about the warning signs and luxuriates in the comfort.
Xena, taking advantage of the distraction, springing the trap, merrily
XENA
Remember to wash behind the ears. Athena sure likes to kiss and nibble them.
Xena crowns her victory by placing the bucket on Gabrielle's head in a waterfall of its remaining contents.
Gabrielle, caught off guard, lifting the bucket and sputtering indignantly
GABRIELLE
You you
Xena grabs the game from the ground and runs away laughing; she ducks inside the house. The door opens after a few seconds and Xena sticks her head out.
Xena, impishly
XENA
I win.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. HOUSE KITCHEN LATE EVENING
Xena and Gabrielle eagerly eye Melana's work as she piles their plates high with meat and vegetables. Soon enough, those end up in front of them, along with bread. Melana correctly judges by their ensuing, ravenous behavior that she will have to carry the entire conversation for a while.
Melana, eating at a more sedate pace, conversationally
MELANA
I want to thank you once again for everything: repairs, food, and help with the children. My husband and his so-called friends got it into their heads to march on the keep. Turns out, they betrayed him and he was executed as a warning to others, right in the front of that forsaken statue in the square. The two monsters you injured earlier dragged me out there and made me watch. Thank Zeus they left the children alone. Those traitors were there too; none looked me in the eye.
Melana starts crying and Gabrielle hastily swallows the latest bite and starts to get up but Melana shakes her head.
Melana, collecting herself, apologetically
MELANA
Please, eat. I will be okay.
Gabrielle, compassionately
GABRIELLE
I'm sorry about your husband, he sounds like a good man who died trying to do the right thing.
Xena, jumping in, starting off with complement on the food
XENA
This beats tavern fare, nothing like homemade.
This earns Xena a smile of gratitude from Melana.
XENA
How big is his army?
MELANA
Silvas keeps couple men in each village and seven more in the keep. We do what we are told because we remember the fate of those villages that resisted him. There were five here when Silvas first arrived. He personally annihilated them and left the dead where they lay. We have seen little of him since that day, then nothing. No one has laid eyes on him in years. We prayed to the Gods for justice; I think they listened. I hope he is in Tartarus.
Gabrielle, gravely
GABRIELLE
If he suffers his sentence or lives, what should we do?
Melana, surprised
MELANA
You asking me?
GABRIELLE
Yes.
Melana, angry
MELANA
Kill him.
Xena, warning Melana, who does not understand the way Gabrielle does things
XENA
Melana, think on this. Gabrielle is giving you a choice. Trust me: this is not something you want to decide lightly.
Melana, hurting
MELANA
I want his life for the one he took!
Xena takes off the gloves.
Xena, leaning forward, trapping Melana in her gaze, coldly
XENA
You see the red armor on Gabrielle when we first arrived?
MELANA
Yes?
XENA
Did you know the blood is real?
Melana, uncomfortable with the question and tone, trying to look away without success
MELANA
No.
Xena, raising her voice, in full intimidation mode
XENA
Do you know why?
Melana, trembling
MELANA
You are scaring me.
XENA
Good.
Xena leaps out of her seat and shoves her hands into Melana face. The poor woman flinches and turns pale with fear. Gabrielle observes without interfering.
Xena, yelling in Melana's face
XENA
You blind fool! You get blood on your hands, it stays there. It stains everything you touch; it stigmatizes your family, marks your children. It does not wash OFF!!!
Young, sleepy boys' voices and a sound of little girl crying reach them past the closed door, followed by the soothing tones of Athena.
Gabrielle, placing a restraining arm on Xena's shoulder, pushing her back into her seat
GABRIELLE
Xena, children.
Xena, deeply upset, shoves her chair violently from the table and walks to the door. Gabrielle, running after her, grabs her in a hug from behind and holds her fast. Xena's hand drops from the handle she was about to turn and sobs shake her.
Xena, crying, giving voice to the guilt within
XENA
I branded you.
Gabrielle, pressing her cheek to the heaving back, lending comfort, tenderly
GABRIELLE
I love you, I am with you, and I am not going away.
It takes a while for Melana to work the courage to intrude on them.
Melana, touching Gabrielle's arm, shaken with the display of raw emotion
MELANA
Gods forgive me, I am sorry. I know not of this Xena the hero, only the warlord of the past. Yet even this blind fool can see that the woman here with us is different.
Gabrielle, turning her head, her eyes wet with tears
GABRIELLE
Melana, we need to talk after dinner. Xena will tidy up the kitchen while my wife continues to watch the children.
Melana nods and returns to her meal. Gabrielle steers Xena back to the table and they resume their dinner, although much subdued.
CUT TO:
EXT. FARM HOUSE NIGHT
Gabrielle and Athena are lying on the grass outside, watching the stars. The bard has her head on Goddess' stomach. Athena is playing idly with Gabrielle's hair.
Gabrielle, turning her head and kissing the abdomen through the fabric
GABRIELLE
Could you carry a child?
ATHENA
Yes.
GABRIELLE
Who will be the father?
Athena, smiling
ATHENA
You, love.
GABRIELLE
Do I want to know the details?
Athena, sensually, voice promising carnal delights
ATHENA
You will like the details.
GABRIELLE
Mhm. Will it be ours?
ATHENA
Exactly the same as if you had one with a man, of us and no other.
GABRIELLE
And you okay with that?
Athena, softly
ATHENA
I did not think about being a mother before. There are things missing from my life. If you let me, I want to experience them with you.
Athena brings the right hand up and kisses her own fingers. She then places them on Gabrielle's lips, kissing her by proxy.
Gabrielle, kissing the fingers and then the palm of her wife, lovingly
GABRIELLE
So would I. I love you.
Athena, returning the feelings
ATHENA
I love you too.
Comfortable silence descends for a while. Gabrielle massages Athena's hand as they continue to watch the stars.
Gabrielle, picking up where she left off
GABRIELLE
You accepted Lila. What about Solan?
Athena, wanting Gabrielle to stop hedging and just say what is on her mind
ATHENA
I will love him like my own. Gabrielle, are you planning on leaving me behind, pregnant and surrounded by children while you are off adventuring with Xena?
GABRIELLE
That's the idea.
ATHENA
Yes.
Gabrielle, asking what she wanted all along
GABRIELLE
Come with us.
Pause.
GABRIELLE
Xena is my best friend but you are my wife. You are right and I want to share the adventure with you occasionally.
ATHENA
Do you take long lunches?
GABRIELLE
I don't think Xena's discipline could survive that.
ATHENA
Yes.
Gabrielle, purring
GABRIELE
Keep saying yes.
Athena, playfully
ATHENA
Yes, yes, yes.
Gabrielle rolls off Athena and comes up on all fours beside her.
Gabrielle, looking down at Athena, grinning wolfishly
GABRIELLE
If you only knew what you just agreed to
Athena, as Gabrielle's lips and body descend on hers, whispering
ATHENA
Oh Gabrielle, yes, yes, y
And then Gabrielle takes her breath away and speech and thought abandon the Goddess.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
EXT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP BACK WALL 1 DAY LATER/NIGHT
The wooden palisade is laughably short and poorly maintained. It is a wonder the structure has not collapsed yet from lack of maintenance.
Xena throws the rope with hook and it latches onto a wooden, sharpened trunk. She pulls hard on the rope to test the security of the purchase and the whole thing comes out and slides down the slope, narrowly missing them.
Gabrielle, giggling
GABRIELLE
My hero can tear the castle walls with her bare hands.
ATHENA
My hero can leap the castle walls with a single step.
Xena, irritated
XENA
Shush you.
Xena goes for the second trunk and it too joins its brother. She curses and tries the third one; it meets the same fate.
The merriment is quickly escalating, with Athena and Gabrielle laughing so hard that tears are visible.
Xena, judging the opening sufficient, signals a charge up the hill. Unfortunately, the earthen embankment, weakened by removal of three supports, breaks off partially and Xena, Gabrielle and Athena are carried down a river of dirt in an undignified manner.
Gabrielle and Athena are howling with barely suppressed laughter as they crawl and trip over each other and Xena. Seeing this, Xena admits temporary defeat in the face of such determined foe and joins them in their amusement.
CUT TO:
EXT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP BARRACKS NIGHT
The inside of the keep is crowded. The stone keep takes most of the space. There is the stable, smithy, kitchen, and slave and soldiers barracks.
Xena comes to the last, dragging a THUG. She is joined by Gabrielle bringing another THUG. Athena meets them there and starts tying up the unconscious men.
GABRIELLE
Plan?
XENA
Athena, when you done here and inside, go free the slaves and let them out the front gate. Gabrielle and I will entertain the guards and pay Silvas a visit. If he decides to fight, this will get bloody. We lure him outside and Gabrielle puts arrows in him till he stops moving.
Athena and Gabrielle nod acknowledgement and the Goddess grabs and squeezes her wife's hand in silent support. The bard parts from her and Xena and Gabrielle open the door to the soldiers' barracks and silently slip inside.
CUT TO:
INT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP HALLWAY NIGHT
Xena and Gabrielle creep down the long corridor, past many closed door. Strange chewing and slurping sounds emanate from the partially ajar double door ahead of them. On silent signal, in coordinated motion, Xena and Gabrielle open each half and charge inside, swords drawn.
The room is well lit. In the center of it, bowls and plates of food are set on the ground. That is not what draws their eyes. Instead, it is Silvas the Red.
Gone is the warrior of infamy. In his place is a morbidly obese man sitting on a pile of straw, right behind the food. The only thing he wears is a single large sheet that covers him below the belt.
Xena and Gabrielle look at each other, astonished and then sheath their weapons in unison. They look visibly relieved to find a human, not a monster. Silvas ignores them, gorging himself on the feast spread out for him.
Xena, sarcastically
XENA
Silvas the Red is certainly larger than legend.
Gabrielle, channeling her built up nervous tension into humor, ribbing Xena
GABRIELLE
I remember a certain Warrior Princess passing chunky on her third helping of pastries and heading for By the Gods, someone hitch a team of horses! fate.
XENA
Uncalled for!
GABRIELLE
Hee.
Xena, wickedly
XENA
Laugh it up, bard. When, and you will, grow heavy with a child, I will be there. I won't say anything; I will look over your bloated body meaningfully and smile mysteriously. And you will know why.
GABRIELLE
That's that's evil.
XENA
Ha.
CUT TO:
INT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP HALLWAY NIGHT
Xena and Athena are having a council outside the main hall, out of range of Silvas' hearing. Gabrielle walks out of room and joins them. She looks expectantly at each, waiting for an opinion.
XENA
I feel nothing but pity for the man. However, the past cannot be buried under mounds of excess; he has to answer for his crimes. He dies; I will make it quick and painless.
Athena, unsure of her role in this, wearily
ATHENA
He did not stop. He sucked the land and the people dry to feed his appetites, just in a different way. I don't want to judge, but I think Xena is right: mercy killing puts an end to the suffering of all parties.
Xena and Athena look at Gabrielle. Gabrielle, wisely
GABRIELLE
We can execute warlord Silvas - that is easy. No, we must destroy Silvas the Red, once and for all.
XENA
This is the bard thing?
ATHENA
Of course, shatter the legend.
GABRIELLE
We take him back to the village and turn him over to the very people he oppressed, terrorized, and exploited. Send word to the other two. Plan?
Xena, working things out loud, running thru scenarios
XENA
Diet is out, take months and last thing we need is mobile Silvas. He is trapped inside the room so we have to breach the wall. Siege engine might work, but it could kill him. Athena can't use her powers and with the stone thickest in there, manual labor is out. We need fast, accurate, and safe
Pause.
Xena, her face lighting up, idea bursting forth
GABRIELLE
Gabrielle, you are a carpenter. Can you make a massive stand for a weight suspended from the top?
GABRIELLE
How heavy?
Xena, thoughtfully
XENA
Hmm, say kitchen cauldron filled solid with melted metal.
Gabrielle, confidently
GABRIELLE
You will have it by sunset.
Athena, happy to be part of the team, throwing in her contribution
ATHENA
I will organize the freed villagers, prepare the prisoners for transport, and scour the keep of any provisions and valuables. Messenger will be sent as well. You two do your thing.
Gabrielle embraces Athena and gives her a searing kiss.
GABRIELLE
You are the best.
Gabrielle then goes to Xena and gives her a hug.
GABRIELLE
You are my hero.
CUT TO:
EXT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP STONE KEEP LATE AFTERNOON
A tripod of enormous tree trunks stands near the east wall of the stone structure. They meet at the top and are bound together with rope and metal fastenings. A pulley is suspended from the top and a rope hangs down both sides. One end goes off at an angle and is securely tied down. On the second, a large soup cauldron hangs freely, swaying a little on the breeze. The round container has handles attached with solid rivets around the outside, near the top.
Xena ties a rope, which runs from the handle to the harness on the donkey. She signals Gabrielle, who is standing in front of the animal, lead rope in hand.
Gabrielle, giving a little tug, patiently
GABRIELLE
Come on, Tobias, time to work.
Xena, alarm bells going off in her head, threateningly
XENA
Just because you named the smelly beast does not mean we are keeping him.
Gabrielle, pleadingly
GABRIELLE
He was lonely in the stables.
XENA
No.
Gabrielle, throwing in puppy eyes, sweetly
GABRIELLE
Please?
Xena, resolve crumbling to dust, throwing in a provision they both know is useless
XENA
All right, since Argo refuses to help with the wrecking ball and probably won't pull Silvas to town, he can stay. Temporarily; then he finds a new home and not with us.
Gabrielle hugs and pets Tobias; she won.
Gabrielle, to Tobias, warmly
GABRIELLE
See, I told you: she likes you. She just has to get to know you.
In the background, Argo neighs and it sounds almost like a laugh. Xena gives her horse a pointed look and aptly chastised, Argo finds some grass to occupy her attention.
CUT TO:
EXT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP STONE KEEP LATE AFTERNOON
The cast iron cauldron is pulled back a ways. Suddenly, it is released and it heads for the wall with the force of its full, iron belly. The wrecking ball and the stone wall meet and there is only one winner. In an explosion of rock and dust, the solid ball punches thru the wall with an incredibly vivid sound and visceral impact. It swings back out and then does the pendulum thing, slowing with each pass. The important thing is that the opening is big enough to remove Silvas from his prison. In celebration of that fact, cheers erupt from the former keep SLAVES watching the spectacle.
CUT TO:
EXT. SILVAS THE RED'S KEEP STONE KEEP MORNING
Tobias stands hitched to a cart with its sides removed. Blanket covers his back, protecting it from the harness. A massive war hammer is attached to one side and a clay pot filled with red dye hangs on the other.
Silvas the Red stares morosely about him. He is tied to the cart with rope; that is more for his safety since his bulk prevents movement. Thankfully, he is covered with sheets.
Gabrielle busies about the cart, checking the knots and sneaking a carrot to Tobias. In the course of her inspection she offers Silvas a waterskin and he takes it gratefully.
Before they can speak, Xena joins them.
GABRIELLE
What's with the henna?
XENA
You want a spectacle, you get it.
Gabrielle, gloomily
GABRIELLE
Xena, I want him to live. I want him to return to normal and be redeemed. That is what I want and it is not going to happen. Sadly, he has a black heart and black soul. Worse, there is little good left in him. He has not learned a thing and if restored he will return to his old ways. Truth is, he will die and it hurts.
Gabrielle walks away, her shoulders drooping and her heart heavy. Xena waits till the bard is out of hearing range and then rounds on Silvas.
Xena, promising darkly
XENA
You will pay for that.
CUT TO:
EXT. MELANA'S FARM HOUSE 2 DAYS LATER/EARLY MORNING
Another procession stands assembled, ready to depart; led by Tobias, followed by cart and guarded by Xena on Argo. The children are inside the house, strictly forbidden to go outside. Athena holds weepy Gabrielle tightly.
Silvas the Red is truly that. Red dye has turned his skin and hair into his signature color. There is no shred of cloth to be found. He sprawls in the cart, resigned to his fate.
Melana comes out of the house and heads to Xena.
Melana, tearfully, forgiving
MELANA
Show mercy.
She turns around and moves to Gabrielle and Athena, who draw her into a group hug.
CUT TO:
EXT. VILLAGE VILLAGE SQUARE MORNING
The large square is lined with VILLAGERS, young and old, both genders. They fill the spaces between the buildings; looking back in all directions is a solid mass of humanity. Only the road is open and most of the inner square.
Xena arrives in the center of the square and dismounts. She removes the rope with the hook from the saddle and takes a few steps forward. Xena spins the hook at the end of the rope and lets it fly. It curves around the neck of the statue and wraps itself. Xena sets her feet and pulls. As the stunned villagers watch, the stone statue of Silvas the Red comes crashing to the ground and breaks into pieces, sending the head rolling some distance.
Some enterprising VILLAGERS hitch a team of horses and drag the head of their deposed tyrant around the square to the shouts and applause of the crowd. They ride out, heading down the road. This is only the opening of the show; the main attraction is yet to come.
Xena walks back to the cart where Silvas trembles in fear, naked and red. She unhitches Tobias and rewards him with a carrot; Argo, not to be left out, gets an apple. She leads both animals past the cart.
Xena, coldly
XENA
I keep my promises.
Silvas looks around and realizes that the quick and easy death he expected at Xena's hand is not coming. She is leaving him to the mob.
Xena leaves the square with Argo and Tobias to the screams of Silvas. The VILLAGERS close ranks and now there is a solid wall of bodies on all four sides. Silvas the Red's day of reckoning has arrived. With a yell, the VILLAGERS charge at the object of their hate.
CUT TO:
EXT. VILLAGE VILLAGE ROAD MORNING
Down the road from the square, Xena hears the attack.
Xena, stopping and closing her eyes
XENA
Forgive me, Gabrielle. He did not deserve your compassion.
CUT TO:
EXT. MELANA'S FARM HOUSE 3 DAYS LATER/MORNING
Athena walks Tobias in circles much to the delight of her passengers. On the donkey's bare back sits Lynal, holding his two younger BROTHERS and three year old SISTER. The children are having the time of their lives, as their excited voices attest.
Gabrielle and Melana watch, smiles on their faces. Then Melana breaks the moment.
Melana, awkwardly
MELANA
Can I ask you something?
GABRIELLE
Sure, anything.
MELANA
There is something strange about your wife. She comes and goes; not stealthy like you, it is like she vanishes and appears out of thin air.
Gabrielle, waving away Melana's concern, putting her at ease
GABRIELLE
Athena is not what she appears to you. She loves your children; we have one and expect more.
MELANA
I can see her with a throng of her own.
Pause.
Melana, deeply puzzled
MELANA
Gabrielle, I understand Xena. I even understand Athena. What I don't understand is you. You help with the farm, you hunt and preserve enough food to last weeks, and you give Tobias to the children. We can't pay you and we don't have anything of value.
Gabrielle, looking at the children, with a genuine smile that lights her face and eyes
GABRIELLE
You have love.
Gabrielle hugs the astonished and speechless woman and then walks to Xena fussing over Argo and trying to appear busy and unavailable. Gabrielle is not fooled.
Gabrielle, taking Xena by the arm and leading her towards the children
XENA
Come on grumpy, time to say goodbye to the children.
CUT TO:
EXT. WILDERNESS CAMP SUMMER SOLSTICE/LATE AFTERNOON
Xena approaches Gabrielle cleaning their armor and weapons with assistance from Athena. It looks like a regular armory with the amount of war gear they lug around on daily basis.
Xena halts next to Gabrielle, cloth wrapped bundle in her hand. Her nerves fail her and she stands there, shifting her legs and desperately trying to get words out. None appear.
Gabrielle looks up from her work and correctly assesses the situation. She stands up and extends a hand, palm up. Xena puts the gift in it and almost bolts. What stops her is the expression on Gabrielle's face; the storm of emotion her gesture unleashes.
Xena, confused and scared
XENA
Gabrielle, I'm sorry; did I do something wrong?
Gabrielle is looking at the bundle in her hand thru a waterfall of tears, mesmerized.
Xena, imploring, worried
XENA
Please, please don't cry. Tell me what's wrong.
Gabrielle, finally unwrapping the present and gasping when she sees it, sniffling
GABRIELLE
Nothing.
Pause.
Gabrielle, with wonder
GABRIELLE
It's perfect.
XENA
You are weepy.
GABRIELLE
Am not.
XENA
Are.
Gabrielle, sheepishly
GABRIELLE
Thank you.
Pause.
Gabrielle, genuinely surprised
GABRIELLE
How did you know?
Xena, admitting her secret
XENA
I asked Athena.
Gabrielle, kissing Xena on the cheek, gratefully
GABRIELLE
You did good.
Xena, shyly
XENA
How does it work?
Gabrielle brings the toy in front of Xena's face and pulls the tail, opening its mouth.
Gabrielle, on impulse, singing and moving the wooden sheep around
GABRIELLE
White sheep gold sheep
On green hill
When the wind stops
You all stand still
When the wind blows
You walk away slow
White sheep gold sheep
Where do you go?
White sheep black sheep
Graze on a hill
When the wind stops
You all stand still
When the wind blows
You walk away slow
White sheep black sheep
Where do you go?
Xena rewards the performance by capturing Gabrielle in a fierce hug, squeezing the air out of the bard.
Xena, emotionally
XENA
I love you, my white sheep.
Gabrielle, drawing a deep breath after being released, affectionately
GABRIELLE
I love you too.
Athena watches them with a huge smile on her face, watery eyes drowning in joy.
FADE OUT:
THE END