Disclaimers: Yes, it’s still me. Yes, I have heard more from Lex & Amanda. Umm…let me see if I can remember how this goes. This story should be read after The Way Things Should Be, and before To Hold Forever.
All the names, places, people, etc., are fictional. I do own these characters, so please ask before playing with them (remember that Amanda has a temper! LOL ) If you want to chat with me, email me at cbzeer@gmail.com – you can also catch me on my website, www.CarrieLCarr.com or find me on social media.
Dedication: This story, as all my work, is dedicated to my love, Jan. Forever and always.
**
Chapter One
Once she had the car seat secure in the truck’s back seat, Amanda Walters tucked the blanket around the sleeping child. Lorrie would be a year old in two more months and kept both her and Lex on their toes. She gently closed the door and was startled when a hand landed on her shoulder.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Lexington Walters apologized to her wife. “I was trying not to.”
Amanda turned and rested her hands on Lex’s hips. “That’s probably why you did, honey. I’ve got Sleeping Beauty settled. Let’s hope she naps for most of the trip.” The trip she spoke of was from their ranch to Austin, where Amanda’s sister, Jeannie, temporarily lived. She was in a rehabilitation facility recovering from a stroke she had when Lorrie was born. As Lorrie’s godparents, Lex and Amanda agreed to take care of Lorrie until Jeannie was back on her feet.
Lex snorted. “Ten bucks says she’s awake before we get past town.” She kissed Amanda’s forehead. “Still, she’s growing so damned fast.” She put her arm around Amanda’s waist and opened the passenger door. “You ready?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Amanda had one foot on the running board. As she started to get into the truck, Lex gripped Amanda’s hips and easily boosted her. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” Lex trotted around the truck and got in behind the wheel. She buckled up and glanced at the rearview mirror. Although Lorrie’s car seat was facing the back of the truck, the mirror they had stuck to the back window reflected the sleeping child’s face. Lex shook her head and started the vehicle.
They were through Somerville and headed toward Austin when Amanda sighed. With one eye on the road, Lex glanced at her wife. “What’s wrong?”
“Remind me why we keep doing this?”
“The trip?”
Amanda nodded.
“Because we promised,” Lex stated. She held out her right hand and smiled when Amanda took it. “At least we’re only going every third weekend, though.” After Jeannie first arrived in Austin, they took Lorrie every weekend to visit her. That spread out to every other week at Jeannie’s request, and now to one weekend a month.
Amanda rubbed Lex’s hand against her cheek. “I don’t understand my sister. She still hasn’t bonded with her daughter.” She flipped her visor down so that she could look into the mirror and check on Lorrie. “You owe me ten.”
Lex shook her head. “Put it on my tab. I don’t get Jeannie, either. Are you sure y’all are related?” While the transition to instant parenthood hadn’t been smooth, Lex had watched her wife blossom as Lorrie’s primary caregiver after taking a leave of absence from her management position at Sunflower Realty to concentrate on their niece.
“I love my sister. You know that. But she’s always been,” Amanda paused, “Self-involved. She’s got a big heart, but she doesn’t always think about others before herself. That sounds horrible, doesn’t it?”
Unable to stop herself, Lex laughed. “It sounds true, sweetheart. Your sister is a good person, but yeah. She’s a little narcissistic.”
A small grunt came from the backseat as small arms waved. Amanda waggled her finger at Lex, who had stopped breathing. Both stayed silent, listening for any more sounds from Lorrie.
When Lorrie stilled, Lex slowly exhaled. “That was close,” she whispered. She twitched when Amanda thumped her shoulder. “What?”
“You’re such a brat.” But Amanda’s remark was softened by the sweet smile she wore. “It’s a good thing I love you.”
Lex grinned. “Yep. I’ve been saying that for quite a while.”
###
Lex held Lorrie close as they walked into the multi-storied building that Jeannie called home. She did a mental countdown and wasn’t surprised by the fuss the little girl made before Lex could reach the number three.
“Ba,” Lorrie fussed, wildly shaking her head. “No!” She tried to get out of Lex’s arms and turned toward Amanda and held out her arms. “Maa!”
Amanda stepped closer and kissed her hands. “It’s okay, sweetie. We won’t stay too long, I promise.” She grimaced when Lorrie grabbed a handful of her hair, even though it was quite short. “Ow, Lorrie.” She carefully opened Lorrie’s hand and backed away. Hearing her wife snort, she shook her head. “Not one word.”
“I didn’t say anything.” Lex adjusted her grip on Lorrie. “Settle down, Lil’ Bit.” She followed Amanda into the elevator. “It’s bad when even the baby isn’t comfortable here,” she whispered to her wife.
“Hush,” Amanda poked her as the doors opened on the third floor of the rehabilitation facility.
Lex rubbed Lorrie’s back as she followed Amanda down the hall. The closer they got to Jeannie’s room, the more restless Lorrie became. “Easy, sweetheart. It’ll be okay,” Lex murmured.
“Ba!”
Amanda paused at the closed door and lightly knocked. At Jeannie’s entreaty, she opened the door. “Hi, Jeannie.”
Sitting in a plush recliner by the window, Jeannie waved her good hand. “Hi! Come in.”
Lex followed Amanda into the room and gently closed the door behind them. “How are you doing, Jeannie?”
“Good.” Jeannie gestured to the bed. “Sit.”
Amanda kissed her sister on the cheek before she sat on the side of the bed. “You look great. Since it’s close to noon, would you like to go to lunch with us?”
Jeannie frowned and looked to Lex. “Out to lu...unch?”
Lex continued to rub Lorrie’s back and kissed the side of her head. “Yep. Don’t tell me you like the food here.”
“It’s okay.” Jeannie brushed her hand on the blanket across her lap. “M’not dressed t’go out,” she muttered.
Lex gave Amanda a questioning glance. “Alright.” She moved closer to Jeannie. “Someone’s a bit fussy today, but I’ve got her settled down.”
“No,” Jeannie held up her hand. “’S’okay.” She turned to her sister, who had gone quiet. “You g…good?”
Amanda nodded but didn’t say anything. She had her arms crossed over her chest and switched her attention to the window.
“Mandy?”
“Hmm?”
“Mad ‘bout somethin’?” Jeannie asked.
Amanda looked at Lex. “Why don’t you take Lorrie for a walk?”
Lex nodded and carried Lorrie from the room.
Jeannie watched them leave and glared at her sister. “What?”
“What is wrong with you?” Amanda asked as she stood and stepped toward the recliner. “You haven’t seen your daughter in a month, and you can’t even be bothered to hold her?”
“No.” Jeannie nestled deeper into the recliner. “Nod,” she waved her hand, “Can’t. Lood at me!”
Amanda sighed and shook her head. “Seriously? It’s been almost a year, Jeannie. Either you’ve regressed since our last visit, or you’re full of shit.” She paced across the room to Jeannie’s small dresser, which had several framed photos scattered across the top. Most were five-by-sevens, but the single eight-by-ten in the middle stood out. Amanda picked it up.
While most professional wedding photos were serious and staged, this picture was anything but. Jeannie and her husband, Frank, both had wedding cake smeared across their faces, and they were facing each other, laughing.
“I miss ‘im,” Jeannie murmured. Her husband, Frank, was killed in an automobile accident the week after Lorrie’s birth.
“Me, too.” Frank had been Amanda’s best friend. She rubbed her finger across the glass before she set the picture down. “We always will.” She turned and faced her sister. “But we can’t stop living.” Amanda stepped closer and knelt beside the chair. “And you can’t keep ignoring your daughter.”
Jeannie shook her head. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
For the first time in months, Jeannie’s eyes sparked with something besides self-pity. “How dare you,” she snapped. “D…don’ tell me what I can’t do.”
Amanda caught Jeannie’s hand and held it between hers. “Honey, listen to me. Have you noticed how Lorrie acts when we’re here? She’s always fussy and won’t even look at you.”
“Yeah?” Jeannie turned her head away. “So?”
“She’s your daughter. Yours and Frank’s. And she’s scared to death of you because she can feel your disinterest. Your own daughter is scared of you, Jeannie. How do you think Frank would feel about that?”
Jeannie jerked her hand away from Amanda. “Stop.”
“No. We’ve been tiptoeing around you for almost a year. It’s time for you to get yourself together and become that baby’s mother.”
“Shud up,” Jeannie growled.
Amanda stood and put her hands upon Jeannie’s knees, to look her in the face. “I won’t shut up. Someone needs to get through to you. I realize you’re struggling, but—”
Jeannie’s hoarse laugh wasn’t humorous. “Struggle? You ‘ave no idea. Look at me! Listen to me! My words are bedter, bud I can’,” she slapped at Amanda’s hands. “I can’ take care of m’self. Not Lorrie, doo.”
“But you’re getting better. Once you’ve recovered, you’ll want to be her mom.”
“Ha! Ged better. I still sound stupid.” Jeannie slapped at her legs. “I can’t walk.”
Amanda knelt again. “So? Do you think you have to walk to be a parent? That’s ridiculous.”
Jeannie glared at her.
Amanda considered letting the conversation go, but then she thought about Lorrie, and how she’s already been affected by Jeannie’s apathy. “Lex and I love Lorrie with all our hearts. I know you know that.”
Jeannie nodded.
“But, as much love as we can give her, we’re not her mom. You are. She needs you!”
“Not ‘dis me,” Jennie snapped, hitting herself in the chest. “Not good for her. Not good for anytin’.” She lowered her head and sniffled.
“Oh, sweetie.” Amanda sat on the arm of the recliner and pulled Jeannie towards her. She rested her head against her sister’s and held her while she cried.
###
Lex adjusted Lorrie in her arms as she walked down the hall towards Jeannie’s room. The little girl was worn out after being the center of attention in the nurse’s lounge and was now sleeping peacefully. She tapped lightly on Jeannie’s door and was surprised when Amanda opened the door. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Amanda stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her. “Jeannie’s gone to bed.”
“Is she alright?”
Amanda nodded. “We talked.” She touched Lorrie’s back. “How did you manage this?”
“We got corralled by some nurses, who all wanted to play with her. Poor thing is out like a light.” Lex nodded toward the closed door. “What about Jeannie?”
“She doesn’t feel like she can be a mother to Lorrie until she’s fully recovered. She seems to think she’s not worthy.”
Lex handed Lorrie to her wife. “I’m gonna go tell her goodbye. Meet you downstairs?”
Amanda nestled the sleeping baby to her chest. “Honey, I don’t—”
“I promise to be nice,” Lex offered. “But I at least need to tell her goodbye.” She straightened her shoulders and mustered up a smile before handing Amanda the truck keys. “Here, y’all go get comfortable, and I’ll be right down.”
“Alright.” Amanda tilted her head up to accept Lex’s kiss. “Don’t be too long.”
Lex winked at her. “I promise.” She watched Amanda get into the elevator before she lightly knocked on Jeannie’s door. Not hearing an answer, Lex slowly opened the door and peered inside.
Jeannie was lying on her side, with her face buried in a pillow. She didn’t look up when Lex stepped into the room and closed the door.
“Jeannie?” Lex headed slowly toward the bed, treating her sister-in-law like a skittish calf. “Hey, we’re getting ready to leave. I wanted to say goodbye.” Lex stood beside the bed and held her hand just above Jeannie’s shoulder, as if afraid to touch her. “Amanda already took Lorrie downstairs.”
Jeannie struggled but finally rolled over onto her back. She held the pillow against her chest and looked up at Lex with reddened eyes. “Did she,” Jeannie paused, frowning.
“Yeah, she said y’all talked a bit.” Lex brushed some hair away from Jeannie’s face. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“No.”
Lex watched her for a moment, but no other words were forthcoming. “Alright. Guess I’ll head downstairs, too. Let us know if there’s anything we can bring, or do for you, next time.” She started to turn away but stopped as her belt loop was grabbed.
“Lex?” Jeannie let go and held out her hand. “Help me up, please?” She smiled when, instead of taking her hand, Lex scooped her up in her arms like a child.
“How’s this?”
Jeannie laughed and slapped ineffectually at Lex’s chest. “Brat,” she giggled.
“Oh, so I’m a brat, now?” Lex teased. She tossed Jeannie a few inches and caught her again. “Wanna rethink that?” She couldn’t help but notice how thin her sister-in-law had become. The thought of Jeannie still suffering from Frank’s death broke Lex’s heart.
“Silly,” Jeannie chortled, resting her head against Lex’s shoulder. “Tanks. I needed a laugh.”
Lex gently placed her on the bed, so that Jeannie sat up against the headboard. “Better?”
Jeannie nodded. She leaned into the touch when Lex’s hand caressed her head. “Yeah. I’m kinda tired.”
“Been an emotional day, I know. Get some rest, and we’ll holler at ya later.” Lex leaned down and kissed Jeannie’s forehead. “You know we love you, right?” At Jeannie’s nod, she smiled. “We’ll get through this, I promise you. One way or another.” She walked towards the door and turned back before opening it. “Don’t chase too many nurses, Jeannie. That’s what I would do.” She stepped through the door and close it behind her, grinning at the laughter.
Chapter Two
With all the strength she could muster, Lexington Walters stood firm. She had faced down rustlers with guns, poachers, bullies, and bad weather – she would be able to handle this latest challenge. She gritted her teeth and stared down the pleased face in front of her. “Alright, now. Stay still.”
Bright, gray eyes crinkled with mirth.
Lex popped the snaps open and grimaced. “Pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you, Lil’ Bit?” She made quick work of the diaper change, even while Lorrie kicked and squirmed. “We need to talk to Amanda about your food choices, Lorrie. I don’t think that was a color found in nature.”
“Ba! Pbbbst.” Lorrie struggled as Lex tried to hold her and dispose of the diaper at the same time. For some reason, she thought of Lex as Ba, her favorite playmate.
“Yep. I know.” Lex set Lorrie on a nearby rug while she washed her hands in the adjoining bathroom. “Hang on, Lorrie. I’m almost done.” Lex had to use her leg to keep Lorrie in the room.
“No!”
Lex rolled her eyes. Lorrie had only a few words in her vocabulary, but one of her favorites was no. “Amanda’s still mad at me about teaching you that word.” She dried her hands and picked up Lorrie, who was crawling as fast as she could toward the bedroom door. “Gotcha!” Lex scooped her up and left the nursery with Lorrie dancing in her arms. “Let’s go see what Amanda’s up to.”
“Maa!”
As she ascended the stairs, Lex tried to keep from laughing at Lorrie’s excited jabber. She called Amanda Maa, which to Lex, sounded like a baby goat. Especially when Lorrie would repeat the word over and over. She followed Amanda’s voice into the kitchen, where her wife was on the phone.
“Her birthday is in two days, Jeannie. What do you mean you’ve changed your mind? I’m beginning to think you don’t want,” Amanda paused and looked up from her rant. She immediately smiled at Lorrie’s chatter. “No, I’m listening.”
“Maa. Ba!”
Lex lowered Lorrie until her feet touched the floor. She let her wobble toward Amanda, using her grip on Lex’s fingers for balance.
“Maa! Maa,” Lorrie babbled as she headed toward Amanda.
For her part, Amanda knelt and held out one hand. “Okay, whatever, Jeannie. How about you call me when you want to see your daughter? Because I’m tired of you canceling at the last minute. I’ve got to go.” She set the cordless handset on the table right before Lorrie toddled into her arms. “There’s my girl. Were you good for Lex?”
“No!”
Lex laughed and sat at the table. “She didn’t kick me this time, so I’m counting it as a win. But whatever you fed her last, you might want to rethink. It was toxic.” She stretched out her legs and crossed her arms over her chest.
Amanda laughed and stood with Lorrie in her arms. She bounced the little girl. “Did you stink-bomb Lex, honey?”
Lorrie danced in her arms. “No!” She laughed and turned toward Lex. “Ba!”
“Now what?” Lex dropped to the floor on her hands and knees. She growled at Lorrie, who squealed and tried to climb Amanda.
“Lex, stop that!”
“No!” Lorrie shrieked. She giggled and waved her arms. “Ba!”
“Lexington Marie! Quit tormenting that baby,” Martha ordered from the doorway. She came into the room and swatted Lex on the rear. “Get off the floor, you crazy thing.”
Lex growled and snapped her teeth at Martha, who screeched and danced away from her.
“I swear, Lexie. One of these days,” Martha threatened, waggling her finger at Lex. She helped Lex to her feet before swatting her on the arm.
“Ow!”
“Behave, you brat.” Martha took Lorrie from Amanda and kissed her head. “Was Ba being mean to you, sweetie?”
Lorrie pointed at Lex and laughed. “Ba!”
Martha sat at the table and held Lorrie in her lap. “I came over to tell you that we’re going to have a full house for this young-un’s birthday. Everyone has RSVP’d.”
“Except for the one person who should be here,” Amanda muttered. “Jeannie called earlier to cancel.”
Lex sat beside Martha and stretched out her legs. “What’s her excuse, this time?”
Amanda stepped behind Lex and wrapped her arms around Lex’s neck, leaning over her shoulder. “She thinks she may be getting a cold and didn’t want Lorrie to catch it.” When Lex raised her arm to cup Amanda’s head, Amanda sighed. “She sounded fine to me. I think she’s embarrassed to be around the rest of the family when she’s still struggling with her speech.”
“Maybe so,” Lex agreed, as she gently pulled Amanda into her lap. “There, that’s better.”
Amanda took the new arrangement in stride but kept her arms around Lex’s neck. She rested her head on her wife’s shoulder. “I don’t know if my sister will ever be ready to be a mother.”
Lorrie, no longer the center of attention, frowned. She slapped the table twice and squealed high enough to break glass.
The high-pitched scream startled Martha. “Gracious! What on earth possessed you to make that sound?” Martha asked her, bouncing the little girl on her knee. “Lexie, have you been teaching this little thing to holler like that?”
“Me? Why do I always get the blame?”
Amanda laughed and kissed her cheek. “Probably because you’re usually the one causing the trouble,” she teased.
Lex stood, holding Amanda in her arms. “Trouble, huh?”
“Lex.” Amanda tightened her grip. “What are you doing?”
“Well,” Lex drawled, stepping out of the kitchen and into the hall, “If I’m gonna get blamed for shi— I mean, stuff,” she carefully opened the back door and stood on the porch. “I might as well do something fun, right?”
Amanda’s eyes widened as Lex carried her toward the corral behind the house. “What kind of fun?”
Martha followed close behind. “Lexington Marie! Just where do you think you’re going,” she hollered from the covered porch.
“Ba!” Lorrie added, dancing in Martha’s arms.
Lex ignored them.
As they got closer to the corral, Amanda realized where her wife was taking her. “Now, honey,” she started, as they got closer to the large, round, galvanized horse trough that was half in, half out of the corral. It was ten feet wide and two feet deep and placed so horses could drink from either side of the corral. “You’re not going to—”
Lex grinned when Amanda’s grip around her neck tightened. “Take you for a quick swim?”
“Umm,” Amanda started to kick her legs. “Okay, you win. I’m sorry I said you were a troublemaker.”
Lex stood beside the trough and bounced Amanda in her arms. “No, you’re right. I do enjoy causin’ trouble.” She leaned forward and held Amanda over the water. “Might as well prove your point, right?”
Amanda turned toward the house. “Martha,” she yelled, still hanging on. “I could use a little help here.”
“Oh, no. I think it’s time me and Lorrie went inside and had a cookie.”
“Maa!” Lorrie agreed, waving her little fists in the air. “Maa!”
Martha continued to laugh as she took the baby inside, ignoring Amanda’s pleas.
“Honey, I don’t think you want to do this,” Amanda told her wife.
“Sure, I do. I am a troublemaker,” Lex argued. She pulled Amanda back and swung her over the water but was surprised when Amanda’s legs wrapped around her torso. “Hey, wait!” was the last thing Lex said before she followed Amanda into the trough, face first.
Amanda bounced up immediately. She sputtered and wiped her hair out of her eyes. “I’m gonna get you back for,” she paused as Lex was lying face down on the bottom. “Lex?” The eruption of water in front of her caused Amanda to scream. “Aaah!”
Lex wrapped her arms around Amanda as she came up out of the trough. “Gotcha!”
“You ass! You scared me to death,” Amanda yelled, slapping Lex on the shoulder.
Laughing, Lex looked into Amanda’s eyes. “Boo,” she teased. The smile on her face slowly faded as she was caught up in her wife’s gaze.
Amanda tugged on Lex’s damp hips. “Brat,” she whispered, just before Lex’s lips covered hers.
###
Martha looked out the kitchen window and shook her head. “I swear, those two,” she sighed as she turned away and sat next to Lorrie’s highchair. “Sweetie, I hope your mama finds herself someone like them. You deserve that kind of love in your family.” She grimaced when Lorrie tried to share her gooey graham cracker with her. “No, you go ahead, hon. Enjoy your cookie.” She had her own worries about Jeannie that she would never voice out loud. Although she didn’t know her as well as she knew Amanda, Martha feared that Jeannie would never be ready for motherhood, leaving her innocent daughter without either parent.
“Mada,” Lorrie cooed, pointing the spit-soaked, gnawed on cracker at Martha. “Mmm!”
“That’s right, sweetie. Yummy cookie.” Martha heard the backdoor open. “You’d better not be dripping trough water on my clean floor,” she yelled toward the hallway.
“If I were you, I’d turn away from the door,” Lex answered. “Unless you want an eyeful of skin.”
The sound of a slap, followed by Lex’s, “Ow!” caused Martha to cover her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. She cleared her throat. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you in your birthday suit, plenty of times,” she answered.
Two bodies raced past the kitchen, laughing.
“Crazy kids,” Martha muttered. She turned back toward Lorrie. “It won’t be long before you’ll be right in behind them, I imagine.”
Lorrie smacked her lips before cramming another bit of soggy cracker into her mouth.
###
“Oh, my god, Lex! I can’t believe you said that to Martha,” Amanda chortled, chasing her wife up the stairs. Both were in their underwear, but Amanda still didn’t care to show Martha that much skin. She pinched Lex’s rear. “Hurry up, I’m getting cold.”
Lex stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to face Amanda. “Oh?” She flinched when Amanda lightly poked her stomach. “Hey!”
“You’re such a big baby,” Amanda teased, scooting past Lex and hurrying to their bathroom. “Ha!”
“Bully,” Lex muttered. She followed along at a slower pace, removing her sports bra as she crossed the master bedroom. “If you’re nice, I’ll wash your back,” she said.
Amanda stuck her head out of their shower. “I’m always nice.” She crooked her finger at Lex. “Better hurry before the water goes cold.”
Lex stepped out of her underwear and into the enclosure. “We’ve got time.”
“Yeah, but…oooh, nice.”
Chapter Three
Amanda glanced around their living room. Wrapping paper and boxes were everywhere, but she chose to ignore them. Seventeen-year-old Ronnie was home from college for the weekend and was sitting on the floor playing with Lorrie. His adoptive parents, Martha and Charlie, were snuggled together on a nearby loveseat, fondly watching.
A ratcheting sound came from the puppy-shaped walker, which was folded flat on the floor. Lorrie grinned and turned the knob again, laughing at the sound.
“That’s great, Lorrie,” Ronnie enthused. He pointed at another piece. “What about this one?”
Lorrie slapped at the ball insert and was delighted when it spun. “Ha!”
“Swat it again,” Jacob Cauble cheered. He was on the sofa beside his wife, Anna Leigh. “You can do it, Lorrie.”
“I hope you realize we’re getting her a drum set for your house,” Lex drawled from her position next to Amanda.
Anna Leigh laughed. “Perhaps some tennis shoes for her, as well. She was certainly racing around the room with the walker.”
“Don’t remind me.” Amanda rested her head against her wife’s shoulder. “I was surprised when Travis and Ellie left so early.”
Jacob nodded. “I’m sure they’d still be here if Ellie didn’t have to go to work.” He tightened his hold on Anna Leigh’s hand. “Although he could have ridden home with us.”
Martha turned slightly so she could address Jacob. “Stubborn seems to run in that side of the family.”
Lex snorted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she shook her head as the others laughed. “Besides, he didn’t want Ellie to drive home alone. She could get lost in a parking lot.” Lex grunted when Amanda elbowed her in the ribs. “What? You know it’s true.”
“Maybe, but be nice.”
“I’m always nice.” Lex glared at Martha and Charlie, who laughed at her statement. “What?”
Charlie stood and pulled Martha up beside him. “And on that note, I think it’s time we head home. It’s almost my bedtime.” When Anna Leigh and Jacob also got to their feet, he said, “I wasn’t trying to run y’all off.”
“We still have to drive home, and I’d rather do it while the sun is still up,” Jacob admitted.
Amanda reluctantly climbed off the sofa and stretched. “You could always stay here.”
“Don’t be silly, dearest,” Anna Leigh moved closer and hugged her. “It’s a short drive home, and we’re not that feeble, yet.”
Lorrie stopped playing when she heard the word bedtime. “Maa?”
Laughing, Ronnie stood and scooped her into his arms. “Hey, don’t get upset. We can play more tomorrow before I head back to school.”
“No.” Lorrie snuggled against his shoulder and stuck her index finger into her mouth. She blinked several times as she fought against sleep.
Ronnie crossed the room and handed Lorrie to Amanda. “I don’t think you’re gonna have much trouble with her tonight,” he whispered.
“I think you’re right,” Amanda agreed. She leaned back into Lex, who stood behind her. “Thanks for playing with her. She misses her Nonnie.” At the teenager’s blush, she kissed him on the cheek. “See you at breakfast.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Ronnie ducked his head and left the room.
Lex rested her chin on Amanda’s head. “You embarrassed him again, sweetheart.”
Amanda sighed. “Do you think he’ll ever get over his shyness around women?”
“Not the women he has crushes on,” Lex teased. She grinned at Martha and Charlie. “Right?”
After kissing Lorrie goodnight, Martha shook her finger at Lex. “Don’t start.”
“He does not,” Amanda muttered. “He’s just shy.” She smiled at her grandparents after they took turns kissing her cheek. “Right?”
“Whatever you say, Peanut.” Jacob led his wife to the front door. “Have a good night, everyone.”
###
After the house was empty and Lorrie was sleeping in her room, Amanda rolled over in bed to face her wife. “Do you really think Ronnie has a crush on me?”
Lex mirrored her action and propped her head on her hand. “Duh. He always has.” She used her free hand to brush Amanda’s cheek. “Not that I can blame him, any.”
With a heavy sigh, Amanda leaned into the touch and closed her eyes. “Why me?”
“Again, duh,” Lex teased gently.
“You’re biased.” But Amanda edged closer and soon found herself in Lex’s arms. They were both quiet for a few minutes as they enjoyed reconnecting after a hectic day. Finally, she said, “Jeannie didn’t even call today.”
Lex tightened her arms around Amanda and kissed the top of her head. “Maybe she was busy.”
“Too busy to call her daughter on her first birthday?”
“Yeah, I know. Maybe she forgot.”
Amanda shifted so she could look into Lex’s eyes. “Would you?”
“Hmm?”
“If you were in her place, would you forget?”
Lex shook her head. “Sweetheart, if I were in her place, I’d be living in Somerville and taking care of my daughter. And so would you.”
“Yeah.” Amanda raised up and stared into Lex’s eyes. “Speaking of daughters, I want to start trying for our own baby.”
Lex’s eyes widened. “Now?”
Amanda laughed at her expression. “Well, not this second, no. But as soon as we can. I’ve been researching and found a fertility doctor in Austin.”
“Um, okay.” Lex swallowed hard. “Are you sure about this? I mean, we’ve talked about it, but I figured with Lorrie—”
“I want our child and Jeannie’s child to be close. We didn’t have cousins growing up. Not ones that we could enjoy, anyway. Family gatherings were always so boring. I don’t want that for our kids.”
“Kids?” Lex repeated. “Like, more than one?”
Amanda laughed at her facial expression. “Yes, silly. Lorrie and whatever baby we bring into the world.”
Lex released a shaky breath. “Oh, right. You scared me for a minute.”
“Oh, and I do want more than one baby. Maybe three or four.”
“Four?” Lex cried, sitting up and dislodging Amanda from her perch. “Four kids?”
Amanda fought back a grin. “To begin with.”
Lex’s eyes narrowed as she took in the way Amanda was biting her lip. “You little shit.”
“What?” But Amanda couldn’t stop the giggle that got past her lips. “You should have seen your face,” she chortled.
Lex dove toward her and started tickling Amanda’s ribs. “Four kids, my ass,” she said, as she straddled Amanda’s hips and continued her assault.
“Stop! I’m gonna pee,” Amanda wheezed. She gasped for breath as Lex pulled her into her arms. “Whew.”
“That’ll teach you to tease me.” But Lex’s hold was gentle as she brushed her lips against Amanda’s brow.
Amanda kissed her before disentangling herself and getting off the bed. “I figured it this way,” she said, as she backed toward the bathroom. “Two sets of twins should do it.” She laughed and quickly closed the door behind her before Lex could retaliate.
“Twins?” Lex groaned and fell back against the headboard. “She’s trying to kill me.”
###
The following morning, Lex hummed to herself when she came in from the barn to join the family at breakfast. She hung up her coat and hat then crossed the hall to the bathroom to wash up.
Stepping from the bathroom, Lex heard Lorrie’s squeal of delight as she was spotted in the kitchen doorway. With a grin, Lex kissed Lorrie’s head of dark hair and sat in the empty chair beside her. “Good mornin’, Lil’ Bit.”
“It’s about time you came in from playing with those danged horses, Lexie,” Martha admonished. She placed a spoonful of scrambled eggs onto Lorrie’s highchair tray.
Lex traded glances with Ronnie, who covered his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing. “You know how I am, Mada. If there’s horses to play with, that’s where I’ll be,” she teased.
“Ba!” Lorrie flung eggs at Lex, hitting her shirt. “Ba!”
“Hey, now.” Lex cleaned up the mess and picked up Lorrie’s tiny spoon. She scooped some eggs on it and brought it to the little girl’s mouth. “Don’t be wastin’ Mada’s eggs. She’ll whup you for sure.”
Amanda came into the kitchen, wearing a different shirt than Lex saw her put on earlier. She sat in the chair on the other side of Lorrie. “Good luck.”
“Luck’s got nothin’ to do with it,” Lex drawled, feeding Lorrie another bite. “Why did you change shirts?” Not that she minded. Lex much preferred her wife in a form-fitting tee shirt, like the one she now sported. “I thought you had to run to town after breakfast.”
Amanda poured Lex a cup of coffee from the ever-present carafe that stayed on the table. She added a small amount of sugar and cream and slid the mug towards her wife. “Lorrie decided that I was the perfect handkerchief.”
Ronnie wrinkled his nose and put his fork on his plate. “Ugh. That’s gross.”
Martha joined them at the table in the chair beside Charlie. “Just wait ‘til you have kids, hon. It gets a lot worse.”
“I don’t think so. I like being an uncle, but no kids for me,” Ronnie argued. “I’ll be too busy with my veterinarian practice to have kids.”
Lex laughed at him. “Famous last words, Ron.”
“Be easy on the boy, Lex. He still thinks girls are only good for study partners.” Charlie winked at Ronnie, whose face turned beet red.
“Um,” Ronnie looked at Martha, then Amanda. He bit his lip and studied his plate. “Not exactly, Pop. I mean, I have a few friends in College Station that are girls, and we don’t study that much.” His eyes grew wide when everyone laughed. “No! That’s not it!” Ronnie rubbed his face.
Amanda patted his shoulder. “Ignore them.”
“Yeah.” Ronnie went back to eating his breakfast.
Turning to Lex, Amanda watched as she patiently fed Lorrie. “Do you need me to take over so you can eat?”
Lex shook her head. “Nah, you go ahead. We’ve got a pretty good system going here.”
Just as Lex spoke, Lorrie spit out a mouthful of eggs. “Ha! Pbbbt.” She grabbed the eggs off the tray and squeezed them in her hand. “Ba!” In a quick move, Lorrie picked up her sippy cup and sprinkled milk on the eggs and swished them around the tray with her hand.
“Ugh,” Ronnie grunted, setting his fork down and pushing his plate away. “I think I’ll run back home and pack my stuff.” He gathered his dishes and took them to the sink. “I’ll come back and help clean up.”
Charlie stood and followed him. “I’ll go with you, son.”
Martha shook her head as they left the house. “Men. I swear they get funny about the weirdest things.” She watched as Lex used paper napkins to clean the worst of the mess. “I figured you’d be right behind them, Lexie.”
Lex laughed as she carried the napkins to the trash and then washed her hands at the sink. “I’m made of stronger stuff than that,” she bragged.
“Says the woman who nearly passed out the last time we took Lorrie to the pediatrician for her shots,” Amanda retorted.
“I was just worried about the baby,” Lex answered. She returned to the table and started on her breakfast, while Amanda used a damp paper towel to clean Lorrie’s face and hands.
Martha set her coffee cup down. “Well, I for one think you’re both doing a fine job of taking care of this little one.”
“But?” Lex asked, right before she took a bite of food.
“No buts, hon. I’m really proud of how you’ve stepped up to the challenge.”
Lex swallowed and took a sip of her coffee. “Thanks, Mada. That means a lot to me.” She tipped her head toward her wife. “But Amanda’s been doing most of the work. I just tag in at times to give her a break.”
“Not true,” Amanda argued, taking Lorrie from the highchair and setting her on her lap. “I’d have to say it’s about fifty-fifty.” She kissed Lorrie’s cheek. “Right, sweetie?”
“Ba!” Lorrie said, taking her finger out of her mouth and pointing to Lex. “Ba!”
Amanda laughed at Lex’s expression. “Guess you’ve been told.”
“Guess so.”
Martha stood and took several dishes to the sink. She efficiently loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the counters before Amanda could say a word. Once she was done, she hung up her dishtowel and turned towards the table. “I’ll be at my place, supervising the boys, if you need anything.”
Amanda shook her head as Martha left the room. “Thanks, Mada!” She turned to Lex. “She did it again.”
Lex laughed. Although Amanda was in charge of the ranch house, Martha always seemed to swoop in and handle things like the meals, dishes, and cleaning. It used to aggravate Amanda until they had Lorrie to take care of. “It’s like a game to her,” Lex agreed. “She loves to see how much she can get away with.”
Amanda sat in the chair Martha had vacated, which was beside Lex. “She must have learned it from you.”
“Ha! Shows what you know,” Lex joked. “Where do you think I learned it?” She finished her breakfast and held out her hands. “And I bet Lorrie learns it too. Right, Lil’ Bit?”
Lorrie leaned forward until Amanda handed her off to Lex. “Ba!”
Chapter Four
Lex whistled as she walked toward the house from the barn. There were only two weeks left until Christmas, and she had the afternoon free. At the sound of Lorrie’s screams from inside the house, Lex stumbled up the steps and flung the back door wide open. “Amanda,” she yelled, trying to be heard over the wailing. She followed the sound to the living room, where Lorrie lay in the middle of the floor, kicking her feet and waving her arms.
Amanda stood a few steps away, with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked up when Lex flew into the room. “Hi.” Amanda’s voice slightly trembled, and her face was red.
“Uh, yeah. Hi.” Lex went around the sofa and loveseat to stand beside her. “I’d ask how your day was, but,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I can see for myself.”
Lorrie stopped her tantrum. She sat up and turned toward Lex. “Ba,” she whimpered, holding out her hands.
Lex looked at Amanda, who shrugged and moved to sit on the loveseat. Lex knelt and pulled Lorrie into her arms. “What’s going on, Lil’ Bit?”
“Mam,” Lorrie lamented, rubbing her face against Lex’s denim shirt. She still couldn’t say Amanda, but Mam was close. Lex was still Ba, although they had no idea why. While Lorrie’s crying had slowed to sniffles, tears mixed with snot streaked across Lorrie’s face and Lex’s chest.
“Um.” Lex rubbed Lorrie’s back and turned toward her wife. “What did I miss?”
Amanda sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. “She threw a fit because her shoe didn’t taste good.” She pointed to the tiny shoes and socks on the floor. “Before that, she was upset because her toy h-o-r-s-e wouldn’t stand up.”
Lex bit her lip but didn’t say anything.
“No, go ahead. I’m sure it’s funny if you weren’t here arguing with her.”
Lex chuckled and kissed the top of Lorrie’s head. “Sounds like someone’s ready for a nap.” She barely got the words out before Lorrie pulled back and started to cry again. “What?”
“That’s another sore spot,” Amanda shared. “I told her she was going to b-e-d, and she went nuts.”
“Mam,” Lorrie cried. “No.”
Lex stood, while Lorrie continued to wail. “Ssh, it’s gonna be okay,” she soothed, patting Lorrie’s back. She was afraid the little girl would get sick if she kept crying. “How about you go with me to the barn and look at the horses? Let’s give Amanda a break, huh, kiddo?”
“Would you? I usually don’t have a problem with her, but today she seems to be pushing all my buttons.” Amanda stepped closer and rubbed Lorrie’s back. “Maybe a change of scenery will help.”
“No problem.” Lex leaned to kiss Amanda. As their lips met, she felt a small hand slap her cheek.
“No, Ba.” Lorrie giggled when Lex turned her head and lightly nibbled on her fingers. “Ba!”
Lex switched Lorrie to her other arm and kissed Amanda again, this time with no interruptions. When she stepped back, she jostled Lorrie. “You’re gonna have to learn to share, Lil’ Bit.”
Amanda shook her head. “Good luck with that. And thanks again for coming to my rescue.” She picked up Lorrie’s shoes and socks and followed them to the back door. “Here.” She shook her head as Lex fought with Lorrie. “Need any help?”
“Damn, I mean, dang it. Lorrie, stop that.” Lex sat on the bench under the coat tree so she could hold Lorrie in her lap. “If you want to go with me, you’re gonna need your feet covered and a jacket.”
“No!” Lorrie twisted and flailed her arms. While Lex got the coat on her, she stood on Lex’s lap. “No!”
Amanda held her while Lex zipped up the coat. “She’s getting more stubborn every day.”
“That’s a family trait,” Lex muttered, buttoning her barn coat. “We’ll stay in the barn for a while, then maybe head over to you-know-who’s afterward.”
“Good idea.” Amanda kissed Lorrie and then Lex. “I’ve got some emails to go over, then I’ll find something to cook for dinner.”
Lex took Lorrie. “C’mon, kiddo. Let’s go harass the horses.” She moved out of the way when Amanda opened the door. “Thanks. You know, if you’re getting some quiet time, why not do something you’ll enjoy? Work and cooking don’t sound like much fun.”
“I’ll think about it.” Amanda stood inside the doorway as Lex carried Lorrie toward the barn.
###
Lex stopped inside the barn and quickly divested Lorrie of her coat. “There ya go. Better?”
“Ba.” Lorrie squirmed in an attempt to escape Lex’s grip. “Ba!”
“I know, I know. Gimme a second to get my coat off, and we’ll go look at the horses, alright?” Lex placed her on a hay bale just long enough to remove her own jacket. Before Lorrie could climb off and onto the floor, she grabbed her. “Gotcha!”
“No!”
Lex allowed Lorrie to stand on the floor but held her hands. “You can walk, but I’m gonna steer.” She laughed as Lorrie toddled toward the closest stall.
“Ba.”
Thunder, Lex’s black stallion, poked his head over the stall door. As the little person got closer, he snorted.
“Yeah, yeah, big guy. She won’t be riding you anytime soon, I promise.” Lex picked up Lorrie so she could see him. “Lorrie, remember how to act around the horses?”
Swinging her hand wildly, Lorrie accidentally slapped Lex’s face. “Ha!”
Lex clasped her hand gently. “No, we have to be very slow and careful, remember?” Keeping her grip, Lex showed Lorrie how to lightly touch the stallion’s nose. “Nice and easy.”
“No!” Lorrie tried to jerk her hand away from Lex’s. “No!”
“Alright, we’ll just look at the horses, then. No touching.” Lex stepped back so that the horse was out of Lorrie’s reach.
“Ba,” Lorrie screamed in frustration. “No!”
Lex carried her to the hay bales and sat. “Settle down. If you start throwing a fit, we’ll go back to the house.” She turned Lorrie until they were looking eye-to-eye. “I understand you want to do everything, but you’re not quite big enough.”
Lorrie stopped fussing and stared back at Lex. She stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked on it.
“That’s better, I think. Now, the thing you gotta remember about animals, whether they’re big or small, is that they live in the moment. No matter how well trained they are, if somethin’ spooks them, they’re gonna jump. And you need to be ready when they do.”
Lorrie blinked and continued to suck on her finger.
“I’m hoping that your momma stays here in Texas once she’s back on her feet,” Lex mused softly. “I’d love to teach you how to ride.” She stood and carried Lorrie to the tack room. “Lemme show you somethin’.”
After flicking on the overhead light, Lex walked to the back of the room. She raised a clean tarp, revealing a small, dark brown leather saddle. When Lorrie wriggled in her arms, Lex carefully set her on the seat. “This was my grandfather’s first saddle, my dad’s, and then mine.”
Lorrie bounced and tried to rock, giggling.
“Yeah, that’s how I felt, too,” Lex murmured. She kept one hand on Lorrie’s back. “If your momma says it’s okay, maybe it can be your first saddle, too.” The thought of Lorrie not being a part of her life after Jeannie took over her care, caused pain in Lex’s chest. “One way or another, Lil’ Bit, I promise to always be there for you.”
###
After a long soak in the tub, Amanda wrapped up in her terrycloth robe and climbed onto the bed. She had no desire to dress, but she wasn’t sleepy either. It had been a while since she had written in her diary, so she opened her laptop.
Lorrie seems to have picked up the terrible twos a year early. She’s definitely Jeannie’s daughter. Some days it’s almost all I can do to keep from flinging myself in the floor beside her and scream right along with her. Today Lex came in and got to see one of her tantrums in full force. Instead of running away, she took Lorrie with her to the barn to see the horses, saving both of us.
Lex is going to be a great mom. For someone who doesn’t tolerate fools, she’s so patient with Lorrie. It’s almost like she’s a different person when she’s around the baby. No, that’s not quite right. She’s herself when she’s around the baby. We’ve talked about starting our own family. I’ve been researching fertility doctors, and I think I found a good one in Austin. I’d love to get pregnant as soon as possible, so our baby and Lorrie can play together.
I had to stop for a minute. I’m hoping that when Jeannie is well that she decides to live nearby. I can’t even think about not seeing Lorrie often – and I’d hate to see what losing her completely would do to Lex. We’ve both become so attached to her already.
I don’t think Jeannie would go back to California – there’s really nothing there for her anymore, other than Mother’s gallery. To be honest, Jeannie never seemed very happy managing that mausoleum, anyway. She spent more time doing everything but work. Lorrie’s other grandparents are in Los Angeles, but so far, they haven’t seemed that interested in seeing her, either. There’s no love lost between them and Jeannie. They always thought Frank should have married a more ‘professional’ woman. I’ve done a few video calls with them, but they act really strange. They didn’t even acknowledge Lorrie’s birthday, so I’m not sure what’s up with them. I suppose time with tell. She is the only link they have left with their son – it would be a shame if they didn’t spend some time with Lorrie.
Okay, enough of that. I’m going to go downstairs and call the fertility doctor for an appointment. The sooner we get started, the sooner we’ll be able to give Lorrie a little cousin to play with.
Amanda sighed and shut down her laptop. She opened the bathrobe and looked at her belly. The thought of seeing the flat surface change and stretch filled her with a sense of excitement. And a hefty dose of fear, too. “I want this. I want to give Lex a baby of our own. Preferably before my sister takes Lorrie away from us.”
###
In Martha’s kitchen, Lex dampened a paper towel and sat beside Lorrie, who was in her highchair gnawing on an animal cracker. Lorrie had been stripped down to just her diaper to make clean up easier. “I swear, this kid has hollow legs. She’s always hungry.”
Martha laughed. “She’s a growing girl.” She made a point of staring at the plate in front of Lex, which held a half-eaten sandwich. “Like you.”
“What?” Lex bit into the sandwich, taking her time chewing.
“I hope you don’t continue to grow, Lexie. Although you certainly did your own impression of a weed for a lot of years.”
Lex swallowed. “Right.” She took the damp paper towel and gently wiped Lorrie’s cheek.
“No!” Lorrie tried to move her head away from Lex’s reach. “Ugh.”
“Gotcha.” Lex gave Lorrie another cookie. “See? That wasn’t so bad, right?”
Lorrie shook her head. “Bad.”
“She sure has your number, Lexie,” Martha chortled.
“Wessie,” Lorrie parroted, pointing a gooey finger at Lex. “Bad.”
Lex ignored the indignity of being called out by a fourteen-month-old. “Did you hear that? She said my name!” Lex kissed the top of Lorrie’s head.
“She certainly did,” Martha agreed. “Such a smart little girl. Aren’t you, Lorrie?”
Lorrie stuck her index finger in her mouth and looked at Martha. She grinned, causing a drizzle of cookie from her mouth to her chin.
“Now that reminds me of you,” Martha joked, holding her hand out for the damp towel. “I don’t know how it happened, but I swear this little one has your grin.”
Lex handed her the towel. “If you say so.” She took her plate to the sink and turned to lean against the counter. “Probably just wishful thinkin’.”
“What do you mean?” After she had Lorrie wiped down, Martha placed Lorrie’s sippy cup within reach. “I think Amanda would agree with me. Lorrie has some of your mannerisms.”
“Amanda wants to start trying to get pregnant,” Lex shared softly.
Martha turned her head towards Lex. “I was wondering about that. How do you feel about it?”
Lex shrugged.
“Don’t give me that.”
With a sigh, Lex returned to her chair.
“Yum.” Lorrie smacked her lips and tried to hand Lex her cup. “Wessie?”
“No, that’s alright, Lil’ Bit. You go ahead and enjoy it.” Lex picked up her glass of iced tea. “See? I have my own.” Her smile to Martha was forced. “I used to be scared to death, thinkin’ about us having kids,” she admitted. “But since we’ve been taking care of this one, I’m actually a little excited about it. And Amanda said she’d like to have a baby soon, so Lorrie will have a cousin to play with.”
Martha touched her arm. “Then why do you look so unhappy?”
“What happens when Jeannie gets well?”
“I reckon she’ll wise up and become a momma like she’s supposed to,” Martha answered.
Lex nodded. “She still has a home in Los Angeles. And,” she paused to make sure Lorrie wasn’t paying attention, “Frank’s parents are there, too.”
“You don’t think she’d move back there after all this time, do you?” Martha pretended to nibble on the cookie that Lorrie held out to her. “Thank you, sweetie.”
“I don’t know what to think. Just when I think I get Jeannie figured out, she spins like a wild horse and goes another direction. Frank’s folks have plenty of money to give her whatever kinda life she wants. Maybe that would appeal to her more than livin’ in a place like Somerville.”
Lorrie banged her empty cup on the highchair tray. “Ha!”
“Oh, no. That’s not what we do with our sippy cups, young lady,” Martha gently chastised. She took Lorrie out of the highchair and held her away from her body. “How on earth did you manage to wear more of that cookie than you ate?”
“Mada,” Lorrie chortled. “Yum.”
“Yes, I’m sure it was very yum. Now I’m gonna have to give you a bath.”
Lorrie squirmed in her arms. “No. Bad!”
Lex scrubbed the sink then filled it with water. “C’mon, kiddo. You love to play in the water.” She removed a small basket from beneath the sink and placed it on the counter. “See? Mada has your favorite toys to play with.”
“Yay!” Lorrie leaned toward the sink while Martha removed her diaper.
“Hold on.” Lex grabbed her and placed her in the sink, adding a small, blue rubber whale and a purple rubber octopus. “There ya go.”
Lorrie splashed with the toys and babbled to herself while Lex used an orange bath mitt to gently remove the blobs of cookie from her hair.
“Losing her would kill me.”
Martha put her arm around Lex. “Don’t be borrowin’ trouble, Lexie. Jeannie’s entire family lives here, and I doubt very seriously she’d ever even considered leaving them. And this little one isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon.”
Lex laughed when Lorrie splashed her. “Watch it, Lil’ Bit. I don’t have a change of clothes at Mada’s like you do.” To Martha, she said, “I hope you’re right.”
###
Amanda was on the sofa, reading a magazine when Lorrie dragged Lex into the living room by her fingers. “How was your afternoon?” she asked Lex.
“Exhausting.” Lex dropped to the floor near Lorrie’s toybox. Lorrie sat on her lap and grabbed the closest toy, a plastic cow. “How was yours?”
“Wonderful.” Amanda set the magazine on the coffee table. “Lorrie, were you good for Lex?”
Lorrie stopped trying to bite the head of the cow and waved it in the air. “Wessie.”
Lex grinned. “She started that over at Mada’s. You coulda knocked me over with a feather.”
“That’s wonderful!”
Lorrie hit Lex in the chest with the cow and climbed to her feet. “Ha.” She shook the cow and took a couple of tentative steps, wobbling in place when she paused.
Lex held her breath. While Lorrie had often taken a step or two, she hadn’t gone any farther. Her pediatrician assured them it was quite normal, but she and Amanda both worried that Lorrie hadn’t tried more often to walk.
“Come see me, sweetie,” Amanda gently urged, holding out her hands. “You can do it.”
“Mam.” Lorrie waved the cow again, almost falling over. She grinned and started to wobble forward.
“That’s right. Come on,” Amanda coaxed.
Three more steps and Lorrie fell into Amanda’s waiting hands.
“Yay! You did great, Lorrie!” Amanda pulled Lorrie into her lap and hugged her. “You’re such a big girl.”
Lex crossed the room and sat next to them. “Way to go, Lil’ Bit.” She kissed Lorrie’s head and then Amanda’s cheek. “I didn’t even think to get my phone out and record her,” she lamented.
“Neither did I. But that’s okay, we both saw her. Right, Lorrie?” Amanda tickled the little girl. She leaned against her wife. “If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that I’d be excited to see a baby walk, I’d have laughed in their face.”
“I know what you mean.” Lex relaxed against the back of the sofa and put her arm around Amanda. She rested her cheek on her wife’s head and closed her eyes. “Crazy.”
Chapter Five
Lightly dozing on the bed, Lex was startled awake when Amanda poked her. “Huh?”
“Jeannie should be calling anytime now,” Amanda told her. “It’s a few minutes ‘til two.”
Lex yawned and stretched. “I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep. Do you want me to run get Lorrie at Martha’s?”
Amanda shook her head. “No, let them have their fun. Martha said something about baking pies and then an afternoon nap. Besides, Jeannie didn’t say anything in her text about Lorrie, just that she had a surprise for us.”
“Right.” Lex sat up against the headboard close to Amanda, who opened the video app on her laptop. “I’d worry it’s an April Fool’s Day joke, but that was over a week ago.”
“She was pretty adamant in her text that we do this via video instead of a regular call. And,” Amanda stopped when the video app dinged. “Speak of the devil.” She clicked to answer. “Jeannie?”
Jeannie’s face filled the screen. “Hi Mandy, Lex. It’s great to see you.”
“Same here,” Lex drawled.
Amanda’s smile was genuine. “You sound great.”
“Thanks. I’ve been workin’ really hard on my words.” Jeannie’s phone shifted until she could be seen sitting on the edge of her bed. “Can you see me?”
“Yes,” Amanda answered. “What’s going on?”
“Just watch,” Jeannie said, slowly. Someone set a metal-framed walker in front of Jeannie, who placed her hands on the bars. “Here we go.” She climbed to her feet and stood proudly.
“Oh my god, Jeannie,” Amanda exclaimed. “Look at you!”
Slowly shuffling, Jeannie managed several steps before stopping. “Whew.” A nurse came into the frame and helped her into her chair. Jeannie took a couple of deep breaths and grinned at the camera. “It’s taken me over a month to get that far, but my new therapist is amazin’.”
“Congratulations,” Lex said.
Amanda nestled under Lex’s arm, which was lying across her shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, Jeannie. You’ve made wonderful progress.”
“Thank you, both. I’m hopin’ to move into an apartment soon. I’m goin’ to ask Daddy to help.”
“Isn’t that a little premature?” Amanda asked. “It’s great that you can use a walker, but an apartment?”
Jeannie waved her right hand. “These are apartments in a huge building, with staff on call if needed. And the one I’m lookin’ at has meals downstairs, a hair salon in the buildin’, and even a movie theater. Isn’t that cool?”
When Amanda tensed, Lex answered, “Yeah, that’s great. Is it in Austin?”
“Not exactly,” Jeannie hedged. She held out her hand and took her phone from whoever had been holding it for her. “The ones around here don’t have any vacancies for years. I found one in Dallas that I can move into in August.”
“Dallas?” Amanda sat up and grabbed the edges of her laptop as if she wanted to shake some sense into her sister. “Why not move back to Somerville? We can hire someone part-time to help you out.”
Jeannie rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Mandy? I’m tryin’ to be independent. Movin’ back won’t help.”
“August is less than four months away,” Lex said. “Are you sure you’ll be ready to be on your own by then?”
“Not you too, Slim. I thought you’d be happy for me.”
Amanda shook her head. “That’s not the point. Of course, we’re happy that you want to be on your own. But Dallas is farther away than Austin. What about your daughter?”
“Are you tired of her?” Jeannie asked. “I’m sure I can make some other arrangements, if—”
“Of course not.” Lex leaned a little closer to the camera. “She can stay here forever, as far as we’re concerned. But I don’t know how often we can make the drive up to Dallas for visits.”
Jeannie sighed. “We can visit like this. It’s not like the baby even cares.”
“She’s one and a half, now, Jeannie. Hardly a baby anymore,” Amanda snapped. “Which you would know if you ever paid attention to the videos and photos that we send you all the time. And you never seem available when we want to have Lorrie with us during a video chat. Why?”
Jeannie’s face turned red. “She hates me! My own daughter hates me, Mandy. Can’t you understand that?” she cried. “She probably already calls you mommy.”
Amanda handed the laptop to Lex and slid off the bed. “I can’t even talk to her right now.” Muttering under her breath, she stomped to the bathroom and slammed the door.
“Mandy?”
Lex sat on the edge of the bed and placed the laptop on her nightstand. “She’s, uh, stepped away for a minute. But Jeannie, you gotta realize that we aren’t Lorrie’s parents. We’re her aunts, and we aren’t trying to take your place. She’s still learning how to say our names.”
“And what about my name? Does she even know I’m her mother?”
Rubbing the back of her neck, Lex exhaled. “She’s still a little young to understand that, I think. We’ve been showing her pictures of you, but she’s not gonna know you until she can spend more time with you. And you don’t seem ready to do that.”
“That’s not fair, Lex. I’ve been workin’ really hard to get back to who I was before she was born. When I get tired, my words still slur. I don’t want her to see me as less than whole. Can’t you understand that?”
Lex nodded. “Lorrie wouldn’t care about your limitations. Hell, y’all can learn stuff together. She’s walking, well, running all over the place now. We’ve had to put up baby gates everywhere.”
Jeannie blinked tears from her eyes. “I’m still learnin’ to walk again. My baby has passed me.” She wiped her face. “I know, she’s not a baby anymore. Could you tell Mandy I’ll text her later? I need some time.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” Lex softened her tone. “You’re doing real good, Jeannie. We’re proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
The video call ended, and Lex closed the lid on the laptop. “Stubborn.”
Amanda came out of the bathroom. “I’m sorry for running off like that, but I wanted to scream at my sister, and I know it wouldn’t have done any good.” She sat on the bed and rested her head on Lex’s shoulder. “Forgive me?”
Lex put her arm around Amanda and kissed the top of her head. “Nothing to forgive. She’s a lot harder on herself than we could ever be.”
“Still, I shouldn’t let her get to me.”
“What makes you so mad? With her, I mean? It seems like every time we talk to her, y’all end up fighting.”
Amanda stood, pushed Lex back onto the bed, and then crawled beside her. With her head on Lex’s chest, Amanda could feel her anger dissipate, and a weary sadness took its place. “Old history.”
“You wanna talk about it?” Lex used her fingers to comb Amanda’s hair. It was for her own benefit as much as her wife’s.
Amanda sighed. “Same old stuff. It comes back to haunt me at times.” She closed her eyes. “Jeannie always did whatever our parents wanted her to do. When we were growing up, she said she wanted to be a dancer, but started working at our mother’s art gallery instead. Even though she’s the oldest, Mother always doted on her and let her get away with whatever she wanted.”
Lex continued her gentle touch in silent support.
“It feels like we’re doing the same thing, Lex. Letting Jeannie get away with doing whatever she wants with no repercussions. And it’s driving me crazy.”
“What do you want to do?”
Amanda sat up and looked at Lex. “What do you mean?”
“Well, she’s getting better, right? Maybe we should tell her it’s time for her to start spending more time with Lorrie. I know she can’t do everything, but she could hire a helper and—”
“That’s crazy! Jeannie can’t,” Amanda stopped. “Very slick, Lex.” She poked her wife’s stomach before lying down again. “I don’t want her moving to Dallas. That’s too far, and I’m afraid she’ll find new reasons to ignore her daughter.”
Lex wrapped Amanda in her arms and gently squeezed her. “Yeah, I know. Maybe you should talk to your dad. I don’t think he’ll be too happy moving her that far away, either.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Probably?” Lex rolled over until she was above Amanda. “I’m always right.”
Amanda shook her head. “I don’t think so.” Her grin was cut short when Lex kissed her. She wrapped her arms around her wife. “Maybe just this once,” she said, before giving in.
Chapter Six
“Walters?” the nurse asked at the open door. She smiled at Amanda and nodded to Lex, before leading them down a long hallway. She stopped at one door and motioned for them to go inside. The room held a computer station, a wall of pamphlets, and two visitor chairs. “Please take a seat. Dr. Hoyer will be right in.”
Amanda sat in a chair while Lex crossed the small room to gaze at the rows of booklets. “See anything interesting?”
Lex tucked her hands into the back pocket of her jeans and peered closer. “Lots of stuff. Most of it we don’t have to worry about, though.”
“Then come over here and sit down.” Amanda patted the chair beside her. “Please?”
“Yeah,” Lex took a couple of steps and sat. “I don’t need to know about erectile dysfunction, anyway.”
The door opened, and a middle-aged, balding man entered the room. He set a folder on the table and sat on the rolling stool. “I’m Doctor Hoyer. Which one of you is Miss Walters?”
Amanda held out her hand. “I’m Amanda Walters. This is my—”
“Miss Walters, before we get started, have you thought this through? You’re young to consider becoming a single parent. In time you’ll find someone who will make a fine father.” He looked at Lex. “I’m sure your friend, here, will agree.”
Lex sat up straighter and glowered at him but was stopped from saying anything by Amanda’s hand on her arm.
“My wife, Doctor Hoyer, is as ready for parenthood as I am,” Amanda said, her voice gentle. “Right, Lex?”
Lex grinned at him. “Yep.”
“I see. My apologies, then.” Doctor Hoyer took a pen from his shirt and opened the file folder. He scribbled something down and closed the folder again. “Let’s go over a few things and see where to go from here.”
###
“Good lord, he was full of himself,” Amanda grumbled as they climbed into the truck. “What did you think of him?”
Lex sat behind the wheel and buckled her seatbelt. “Well, Miss Walters, I reckon you’d do better with a man,” she joked, starting the vehicle. “But yeah, he was an asshole.”
“Do you want me to find another doctor? He has a very high success rate, but I’m sure we could find someone else that’s just as good.” Amanda turned to Lex after she fastened her seatbelt.
“Nah. Not unless he makes you uncomfortable. Just because he started out as a jerk doesn’t mean he isn’t a good doc, right?” Lex backed the truck out of the parking space.
Amanda sighed. “I guess so. But I don’t want him giving you dirty looks every time we see him, either.”
Lex laughed. “It’s not my fault he’s a foot shorter than me. Maybe he didn’t eat his vegetables as a kid.” She glanced at her wife. “Sweetheart, it’s okay, really. He didn’t hurt my feelings. Let’s give him a chance.”
“Alright. But,” Amanda held up her finger, “one wrong word to you, and we find someone else.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Lex held out her hand and smiled when Amanda took it. “Do you want to surprise your sister while we’re in Austin?”
Amanda shook her head. “No, let’s just go home. I’m not up to her drama right now.”
“Gotcha. Home, it is.” Lex pulled Amanda’s hand closer and kissed her knuckles. “Martha’s probably ready for a break from Lorrie, anyway.”
###
“Honey, could you keep an eye on her while I put the clothes in the dryer?” Martha asked Charlie. He and Lorrie were at the kitchen table, both enjoying lunch.
“Sure. We’ll be fine, right?” Charlie asked Lorrie, who looked up at him with adoring eyes.
“Mmm,” she waved her spoon in the air. “Yum.” The small plastic platter in front of her had lean hamburger meat, tiny bits of cooked spaghetti with tomato sauce, and little sprigs of steamed broccoli.
Martha kissed his cheek. “Thanks. I won’t be but a minute.” She left the kitchen.
Charlie shook his head as the front door closed. “She acts like we don’t spend any time with each other, right, young-un?” He went back to eating his spaghetti and reading the newspaper.
Moments later, Lorrie squealed and laughed.
Charlie looked up to see whatever was missing from the toddler’s plate now stuck in her hair. “Oh, hell.”
“Ha!” Lorrie slapped the platter, causing it to fly from her highchair and onto the floor. Pieces of food followed. “Ba!” She waved her hands and laughed when spaghetti flew around the room, spackling everything it could reach.
“Hold on there, kiddo,” Charlie jumped to his feet and tried to keep Lorrie from making the mess worse. He grimaced when her spaghetti-covered hands made contact with his shirt. “Wait,” he pleaded, lifting her from the chair.
Lorrie laughed and playfully swatted his chest. “Ba!”
“Martha’s gonna kill me,” Charlie lamented, as the front door closed. “Damn.”
“Bam,” Lorrie parroted. She rubbed her face on Charlie’s shirt, smearing spaghetti sauce. “Ha.”
Martha stepped into the room and stopped.
“I only looked down for a second.” Charlie silenced when Martha held up her hand.
“Oh, I know. It takes less than that for her to get wound up.” Martha crossed the kitchen and held out her hands. “I’ll take her to the bathroom and get her in the tub.”
“Mada!” Lorrie screamed, bouncing in Charlie’s arms.
Charlie held Lorrie to his chest. “I’m already covered, let me do it.”
“No, you get your shirt in the wash to soak, I’ll be back later to take care of the kitchen.” Martha caught Lorrie as she leaned out of Charlie’s grasp. “She’s surprised me a time or two, hon. Don’t worry about it.”
Charlie slowly exhaled as Martha carried Lorrie from the kitchen. “I reckon after raising Lex, this one’s a piece of cake.”
“No, just a chip off the block,” Martha hollered, before closing the bathroom door.
Stripping down to his undershirt, Charlie looked around the kitchen. “That’s what I was afraid of. Jeannie’s not going to stand a chance.”
###
Michael Cauble heard the bell on his door jingle. He stepped into the main room of his photography studio and grinned as one of two women headed for him. “To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?” he asked as he hugged his youngest daughter.
“We were passing through town, and I couldn’t tell Amanda no,” Lex offered from a few steps away. “Not that I wanted to,” she added with a smile.
Amanda laughed. “Right.” She kept her arm around her father’s waist.
“It’s great to see you both. Why don’t you come on back and I’ll put on a pot of coffee?” Michael led the way to his office that was outfitted with a small fridge and a coffeemaker. He gestured toward a worn sofa against the wall. “Have a seat.”
Lex paused in the doorway. “Actually, I need to run by the feed store and pick up a few things. I’ll be back in a bit.” She nodded to Amanda before she left.
Michael frowned. “Is everything alright with you two?”
“We’re great.” Amanda patted the spot beside her on the couch. “But I do want to talk to you about something.”
He slowly crossed the room and sat next to her. “What’s wrong?”
Amanda took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Have you talked to Jeannie, lately?”
“It’s been about a week or so, I think. I always wait for her to contact me because I don’t know her schedule.” Michael’s eyes widened in alarm when Amanda took his hands in hers. “Is she okay? Has she had another stroke?”
“No, no, nothing like that,” Amanda assured him. She looked at their hands. “She’s actually doing better than ever. But she has some crazy ideas.”
Michael released a shaky breath. “Don’t scare me like that. I was afraid—”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that Jeannie doesn’t seem to be thinking very clearly, and it worries me.” Amanda stood and wandered to his desk, which had several family photos displayed. She picked up one that showed her and Jeannie as children. “Did we ever really get along?”
“What?” Michael joined her at the desk. “What do you mean?”
She returned the photo to the desktop and looked into his eyes. “I can’t remember ever being very close to her. The best we’ve gotten along was when Lex and I went to Los Angeles together.”
“Well, she was much closer to your mother than to me. I think she finally grew up after marrying Frank.” Michael glanced at Jeannie’s wedding photo. “It’s still hard to believe he’s gone. You know, I always thought she married him out of spite.” He laughed and shook his head. His oldest daughter had often done things just to get at Amanda. Whether it was borrowing something and forget to return it, ruin a favorite toy, or tattle, Jeannie seemed to get great joy out of her sister’s anger or pain. For years he thought Jeannie had married Frank only because he was important to Amanda.
Amanda stared at the wedding photo. “I think she started dating Frank because she thought I was interested in him.” She laughed at the look on her father’s face. “No, I never considered him anything but a friend. I’ve told you that hundreds of times.”
“I know that now,” Michael assured her. “But at the time, I was hoping you were just going through a phase, and that Frank could get you out of it.” He frowned. “Wait. What does this have to do with Jeannie? Has she found someone else?”
Amanda shook her head. “No, not that I know of.” She took his hand and led him to the couch. “You should sit down.”
“Uh-oh. Why did I just feel a chill down my back?” Michael joked.
“Jeannie thinks she’s almost well enough to move out of the assisted-living facility.”
“That’s great news! She’s coming back to Somerville, then?”
“That’s not what she wants to do.” Amanda sat next to him. “She wants to move to an apartment in Dallas.”
Michael jumped to his feet. “Dallas? Why on earth would she move way up there? I swear, sometimes I feel like your sister does things just to drive us crazy.”
“Welcome to the club,” Amanda muttered. In a louder voice, “she plans on asking you to help her.”
“Ha! That’s never going to happen. I’ll help her come home, but I’ll be damned if I’m letting her do something as foolish as moving halfway across the state.” He paced across the room and sat behind his desk. “I ought to call her and right now and nip this crazy idea in the bud.”
Amanda stood. “Don’t do that, Daddy. You know how she is. If you come down hard on Jeannie, that’s just going to make her want to do it even more. I didn’t come by to upset you. I only wanted you to be prepared for when she calls.”
He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “I thought that once your kids were grown, they wouldn’t give you headaches anymore,” Michael joked.
“Sorry about that.” Amanda leaned her hip against his desk. “If it helps, one of these days, I’ll be able to commiserate with you.”
Michael laughed and looked up at her. “Lorrie’s already a handful, is she?”
“And then some. But that’s not what I meant. Lex and I went to Austin today to meet with a reproductive endocrinologist.” At her father’s confused look, she added, “We want to start our own family.”
“Your own,” Michael started. “Wait. You and Lex want to have children?”
Amanda nodded. “As soon as possible. We want our child to be close to Lorrie’s age.”
“So, who,” he paused. “I mean, I know you’ll have to go about it a different way, but—”
“I’m going to carry our baby. Or babies,” Amanda added. “I’ve already told Lex I want more than one.”
Michael fell back in his chair. “Like twins?”
“No, hopefully not,” Amanda assured him. “But, if that happens, I’m good with it. Although you may need to help keep Lex tranquilized for the nine months.” She laughed at his expression. “I’m kidding. Mostly.”
The thought of Amanda going through the same thing as Jeannie had, terrified Michael. “I told your sister, but I should tell you, too. Your mother had a rough pregnancy with you. I don’t know if it’s hereditary or not, but after Jeannie’s issues, it’s something you need to know.” He paused for a moment. “What about Lex carrying the baby?”
Amanda shook her head. “No. That’s not an option.” She held out her hands until he took them. “Daddy, I’m young and in great health. There’s no need to worry about anything.”
“You can’t promise that.” His voice softened. “Your mother had two miscarriages before we were blessed with you. And she was sick almost the entire pregnancy. I’d hate for you—”
“I can’t guarantee anything. But the doctor knows my medical history, as well as what Jeannie went through. I’ll let him know about Mother, too.” When her father stood, Amanda leaned forward and put her arms around him. “I really want this, Daddy. More than anything.”
Michael rested his cheek against her hair. And I want you safe and whole. But I guess that’s not up to me anymore. “Alright. But don’t expect me not to worry like crazy.”
###
With Lorrie on her hip and a paper bag of groceries in her other hand, Amanda stepped into the house and gently kicked the back door closed. She heard the house phone ring as she hurried into the kitchen. “Hold on, I’m coming,” she muttered, hefting the bag onto the counter.
“Mam,” Lorrie added, squirming.
“I know, I know.” Amanda buckled Lorrie into her highchair and crossed the room to get to the phone. “Rocking W—”
“How dare you!” Jeannie yelled.
Amanda tucked the cordless phone between her head and shoulder and proceeded to get Lorrie her promised snack. “Jeannie? What—”
“Daddy doesn’t want to help me move to Dallas. He said you saw him last week and told him what we talked about. I can’t believe you went behind my back like that.”
After pouring Lorrie’s milk into her favorite cup, Amanda took a container of cut-up fruit out of the refrigerator and put it in front of Lorrie.
Lorrie cheered and began to enjoy her afternoon snack. She crammed a piece of strawberry into her mouth and grinned.
“Jeannie, wait.” Amanda poured herself a glass of tea and sat next to Lorrie. “We’re worried about you living so far away.”
“You just want to keep me under your thumb, don’t you?” Jeannie snapped. “Well, I’m not as helpwess, helpless as you think. I can always hire someone for the move.”
Amanda shook her head. “Stop it.” When Lorrie looked up at her, she gentled her tone. “Wouldn’t you like to be close enough to visit your daughter? She’s growing so fast and learning so much, Jeannie. You really should—”
“Stop tellin’ me what I should do! What about what’s good for me? Do you even care about that?”
“Of course, I do!” Amanda stood and walked away from the table and lowered her voice even more. “Dammit, Jeannie. Believe it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around you. You have a child to think about, even though she seems to slip your mind.”
Jeannie snorted. “Riiight. You’re always throwin’ that at me, how can I forget? If you’re tired of babysittin’ for me, maybe I should see if Frank’s parents want her. Would that make you happy, lil’ sister? I’m sure havin’ her around has put a crimp in your lifestyle, hasn’t it?”
Amanda gripped the phone so hard that her hand started to cramp. “You know better than that. We love Lorrie with all our hearts. Don’t you dare threaten to take her away from us just because you’re not getting your way.” She turned and rested against the counter and watched Lorrie devour her snack. “Grow up, Jeannie. Call me back when you’ve calmed down.” She ended the call and returned the phone to the base on the wall. “Ugh.”
Lorrie looked at her and grinned. Her face was covered with bits of fruit and milk. “Ugh,” she parroted.
“You are too cute for words, sweetie.” Amanda dampened a paper towel and used it to clean Lorrie’s face. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“No,” Lorrie tried to turn her face away. “Mam, ‘top.”
Amanda wiped the mess from Lorrie’s face and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry, hon.”
Lorrie tried to break free when Amanda wiped her hands. “No.”
“All done,” Amanda told her. She pulled Lorrie from the highchair and held her in her arms. “I love you, Lorrie.” Tears pricked her eyes when the little girl snuggled against her chest. “Hopefully, my sister will come to her senses soon. We won’t allow her to send you away.”
Chapter Seven
Lex wiped her sweaty face against her shoulder. August in Texas was her least-favorite time of year. She took her fencing pliers from her back pocket and cut the wire off the bale of hay. After breaking the hay apart, she tossed the pieces near the gathered cattle. “Y’all try not to fight over it, alright?”
The cattle ignored her, too intent on enjoying their meal.
Lex jumped from the flatbed trailer. She watched the cows for a moment then climbed into the truck. There was a one-gallon, red, and white insulated water jug on the seat beside her that Lex raised to her lips. After getting her fill, she wiped her face on her sleeve and leaned back in the seat. “I really need to trade this thing in for one with working air conditioning,” she grumbled. The old truck had been a light blue at one point but was now as much rust and dirt as paint. It was only used for taking hay to the cattle, but even Lex realized that maybe it was time for an upgrade.
She maneuvered the truck toward the gate. The road, if it could be called that, was two dirt trails in the grass. She stopped at the gate and jumped out of the truck. The gate was nothing more than a section of the fence that could be pulled back as needed. Lex dragged the post holding the wire fence backward until there was enough space to drive the truck and trailer through. Less than a minute later, the gate was closed, and she was on her way.
The half-empty trailer rattled behind the truck as Lex headed toward the next field. It had been a long afternoon, and she looked forward to when she could cool off in the shower before dinner. She was going over the rest of the week’s schedule in her head when her cell phone vibrated on her hip. Lex jumped and jerked the steering wheel to the right, causing the trailer to whip behind her. “Damn it,” she growled.
Once she had the truck under control, she took the phone from the holster. “Walters,” she snapped.
“Lexie?”
“Yeah?” Lex took a deep breath and gentled her tone. “I’m sorry. What’s up, Martha?”
“Are you on your way back to the house?”
“No, I have the west field to go. You need me to do somethin’?” Lex asked. “I can drop by once I get the truck and trailer back in the hay barn.” When Martha didn’t answer her, Lex thought the call dropped. “Martha?”
“Honey, you need to head on up to the house,” Martha returned softly. “Amanda needs you.”
A chill passed over Lex. “Is she alright?”
“Just…just get up to the house, okay? I’ve got Lorrie with me. Leave the truck and trailer, and I’ll have one of the boys finish things for you.”
Lex sped up until the trailer bounced and rattled, nearly out of control. She could barely make out Martha’s voice over the noise coming in through the open windows. “I should be there in a few minutes,” she yelled into the phone. Lex tucked her phone into the holster and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “Damned trailer.” She thought about stopping and uncoupling it but didn’t want to waste time.
Grateful the last two gates were open, Lex skidded the truck and trailer to a stop behind the ranch house. She left her keys in the ignition and raced towards the back door, ignoring the plume of dust that arrived after her.
She stomped up onto the porch and into the house. Not caring where it landed, Lex threw her hat on the bench. She stripped off her gloves and dropped them nearby. “Amanda?” When she didn’t get an answer, Lex took the inside stairs two at a time until she was in their bedroom, looking around in a panic. “Amanda?”
Sniffling from behind the closed bathroom door caused Lex to put her hand on the doorknob and pause. “Sweetheart?”
“In here,” Amanda answered, her voice breaking.
Lex opened the door and found her wife sitting on the floor by the sink, her back against the cabinet. “Hey.” She stumbled into the room and landed on her knees next to Amanda. “Are you okay?”
“I wanted to surprise you,” Amanda softly cried. “Guess I screwed that up.”
“Ssh, no.” Lex sat and pulled her into her lap, which made Amanda cry harder. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Amanda tucked her face into Lex’s shirt. “I’m being so stupid,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry.”
Struggling to control her own emotions, Lex kissed the side of Amanda’s head. “You’re never stupid, sweetheart. Never. But, can you tell me why you’re so upset?”
“It’s been six weeks. You know, since,” Amanda hiccupped and raised her head. Her eyes were red and puffy. “And I thought since I was late…”
Lex frowned. “Six weeks since,” her eyes widened, and her heart sped up. “Oh.” A small part of her was almost glad since she didn’t feel she was ready to be a real parent. She felt out of her element most of the time with Lorrie and often had to ask Amanda or Martha for guidance. It embarrassed Lex to not know what she was doing. But one look into her wife’s eyes, and Lex could feel her own heart breaking. “I’m so sorry, love.”
“I wanted to have good news for you, for us.” Amanda wiped her face with her hands. “I feel like such a failure.”
“No, sweetheart. You’re not. The doctor told us it would probably take several tries, remember?”
Amanda sniffled and nodded. “I know. But I really thought I could be pregnant. And then, earlier this afternoon, I got my period.” She rested her forehead on Lex’s shoulder. “I don’t know why I’m being so stupid about this. It’s not the end of the world.”
Lex rubbed her back. “Hey, it’s alright.” She waited until Amanda raised her head and looked at her. “If I was taking half the hormones you are, I’d be a complete mess,” she joked. “Can you even imagine?”
Amanda half-laughed, half-cried. “That would be scary.” She closed her eyes when Lex kissed her forehead. “Thanks.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Lex quietly answered. Her panic began to recede, but she was still worried about Amanda. “What can I do for you?”
“You’re doing it.” Amanda lightly kissed her. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you back for another hour or two, at least.”
Lex shrugged. “Got enough done. The guys can finish for me.”
Amanda stared at her. “Enough done? What do you,” she stopped and shook her head. “Martha.”
“Hmm?”
“She called you, didn’t she? I told her I’d be okay, I just,” Amanda exhaled. “I thought I’d have it under control before you got home.”
Lex held Amanda close. “I’m glad she called me. I want to be with you for everything, the good and the not-so-good. You don’t have to ‘get it under control’ before I get here, sweetheart. We’re in this together. I mean, there’s some things I can’t do, but for the things I can, I want to be here.”
“Thanks. I want that, too.”
Feeling a cramp in one calf, Lex tried to shift her position on the floor. She didn’t want to rush Amanda, but her muscles were beginning to complain.
“Oh, my god. I must be squashing you,” Amanda exclaimed, as she tried to stand. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be silly. You don’t weigh as much as the bales of hay I’ve been throwing around all day.” But Lex used her grip on Amanda’s hips to help her to her feet. “How’s that?”
Amanda held her hand out to Lex. “C’mon. Let’s go save Martha from our niece.”
Lex allowed herself to be hauled to her feet. “Maybe I should take a shower. Martha might not let me in her house,” she joked, pulling her denim shirt away from her body.
“You could be right.” Amanda pulled her into a hug and took a deep breath. “Mmm.”
Lex’s arms automatically went around Amanda. “Well?”
Amanda raised her head to look into Lex’s eyes. “I’m used to it, but maybe a shower wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I could always scrub your back for you.” She unbuckled Lex’s belt and pulled her shirt free.
“I guess it couldn’t hurt.” Lex caressed Amanda’s cheek. “Are you okay?” When Amanda peeled the shirt from her shoulders and lifted her tee-shirt, Lex grinned. “Never mind. I think you just answered my question.”
###
Martha opened the door and ushered Lex and Amanda into her home. “What have I told y’all about knocking? I swear,” she grumbled, following them into the living room. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
Lex sniffed the air. “Mmm. Meatloaf?”
“Yes,” Martha answered. She swatted Lex on the butt and shuffled by her. “Come on into the kitchen.”
“Hey!”
Amanda giggled at Lex’s outraged look. She gave her wife a quick squeeze around the waist. “Big baby.” She stepped into the kitchen.
“Mam,” Lorrie squealed from her highchair, waving a spoon. She gave an upturned plastic bowl a slap with the spoon, delighting in the sound. “Ha!”
“Look at you,” Amanda crooned, taking the chair beside Lorrie. “Are you having fun with Mada?” She kissed the top of Lorrie’s head.
Lorrie hit the bowl again. “Hep.”
Charlie came into the kitchen and put his hands on his wife’s hips as she stirred something on the stove. “Anything I can do to help?” he asked her.
“No, honey. Y’all go on and have a seat. I’m just finishing up these mashed potatoes.” She turned her head and kissed him.
Lex sat on the other side of Lorrie. “I can’t believe that’s the same woman who used to tease us about PDA,” she muttered.
“Used to?” Amanda laughed. “Don’t you mean still?”
Charlie joined them at the table as Martha placed the mashed potatoes in front of him. “Everything smells great, honey.”
Once everyone was seated, they took turns passing around serving dishes of food. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, and dinner rolls were soon on their plates. Amanda put a small amount of everything in Lorrie’s sectioned dish and placed it on the tray. She ate while she watched Lorrie stuff food into her mouth. “Slow down, sweetie.”
“Mmm.” Lorrie grinned and dropped her spoon onto the floor.
Lex bent over. “I’ll get it.”
“Wait!” Amanda cautioned.
“Lexie, don’t—” Martha started.
With a happy squeal, Lorrie took a handful of mashed potatoes and dropped them…on an unsuspecting Lex’s head.
Lex sat up with the spoon in hand. She set it on the table and grimaced as she felt the back of her head. “Lorrie?” She pulled mashed potatoes out of her hair.
“Ha! Wessie!”
Amanda covered her mouth with her hand.
“That’s her new trick,” Martha explained, as she got up from the table to get a damp towel. She stood behind Lex and cleaned the food from her hair. “I got the worst of it out, I think.”
“Thanks.” Lex glanced at Amanda, who still had her hand over her mouth. “Go on, laugh.”
Amanda shook her head. “I don’t want to encourage her,” she whispered.
“Wessie!” Lorrie giggled. She waved her hand, still holding bits of potatoes.
Amanda caught the hand and wiped it off with a napkin. “Stop playing with your food, Lorrie. Wessie wants to eat, too. Maybe you can take a bath together before bedtime.”
Lex rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait.”
###
“No!” Lorrie, clad only in a diaper, cried as she ran out of her bathroom. “Mam.”
“Lorrie, get back here.” Next to the tub, Lex climbed to her feet and went after the toddler. “You’re not gonna get very far,” she warned, fast on the little girl’s heels.
“Mam!” Lorrie rushed across the hall and into the master bedroom. “Mam!” She looked for Amanda but couldn’t find her.
Lex caught Lorrie as she ran toward the master bathroom. “Gotcha!” She scooped her up and blew raspberries on Lorrie’s belly, causing the cries to turn to giggles.
Lorrie laughed and grabbed Lex’s hair.
“That’s better.” Lex carried Lorrie back across the hall and into her bathroom. She expertly stripped the diaper from her before gently setting her in the tub. “Silly thing.”
No longer trying to get away, Lorrie swatted at the floating toys around her. She laughed as the water splashed.
“Easy there, Lil’ Bit. Leave some of the water in the tub.” Lex pushed a small toy towards Lorrie. “Rrrrr, here comes your fishing boat.” She laughed when Lorrie splashed at it. “Hurricane Lorrie strikes again,” Lex joked.
###
Amanda stood in the doorway of Lorrie’s bathroom and watched as her wife played with their niece. No matter how long the day had been, or how tired she was, Lex seemed to take joy in the evenings spent with Lorrie. She’s going to be a great mom. I hope I can give her that.
At least my sister hasn’t followed through on her threat to take Lorrie away from us. It would just about kill Lex to lose her right now. Amanda wiped a tear from her face, angry at her traitorous hormones. It was the biggest reason Amanda had for wanting to get pregnant as soon as possible, in case Jeannie found someone else to take care of Lorrie.
It had been months since they had heard from Jeannie. Whenever Amanda called her, she wouldn’t answer. Jeannie also ignored all of her texts and emails. To find out how she was doing, Amanda had to talk to their grandparents, because Jeannie had also refused to speak to their father. I hope she gets over this tantrum soon. Gramma said that Jeannie even quit her physical therapy. I don’t know how to get through to her this time.
“Amanda?” Lex’s concern was evident in her tone. “Whatcha doin’ over there?”
Amanda pushed off the door frame and joined Lex beside the tub. “Just thinking.” She blinked when Lorrie splashed her with water. “Hey!”
“Mam.” Lorrie held out the plastic boat.
“Your turn,” Lex whispered. “Are you alright?”
Amanda looked from Lorrie to Lex and smiled. “Never been better.”
To be continued in Book Seven of the Somerville Series, To Hold Forever