In "Déjà vu All Over Again" Xena and Gabrielle are reincarnated. In "Soul Possession" Ares puts into Annie Day and Mattie Merrill into their correct bodies.
In "Send in the Clones" Xena and Gabrielle are cloned by Alti trying to make an Evil Xena.
What would happen if they met?
.............................
by
Previously:
A woman named Annie sees on TV that a vigilante dressed as Xena the Warrior Princess is fighting evil at night. She is convinced she is her, and she is the reincarnation of Xena. When she tells her live-in boyfriend, Harry, he doesn't believe her. They go to a Past Lives Councilor named Mattie. Through hypnotic trances, Mattie takes them back several times and they discover that Annie was actually Joxer in a past life, Harry was Xena, and Mattie was Gabrielle.
Annie tells Harry they can't be together because he (Xena) and Mattie (Gabrielle) are soul mates. Annie goes off alone, vowing to be Xena in her next life, and Mattie and Harry got married.
When a scroll is found in the Ionian Sea asserting that Xena and Ares were married in front of the Fates, a press conference is held to report the details of the scroll to the public. Annie, who has held several menial jobs to fund her publication The Joxer the Mighty Quarterly, is in attendance. In the meantime, Mattie and Harry have come home after a trip to Greece. Going through the piled up mail, Mattie finds the letter about the conference and its subject. They hurry to get to it before it is over. Ares shows up, and convinced Xena will honor her vows, switches her spirit from Harry's body into Annie, and puts Joxer's soul into Harry. After much confusion and fighting, the scroll is destroyed, Ares is thwarted, and Annie and Mattie go off together, with Harry trailing behind.
Chapter One
The A&M Detective Agency
"Annie, you'll never guess what today is."
Annie looked up from her desk where she was reading the morning newspaper. Mattie was doing the same at her desk, only she was reading the LA Times online. Both had coffee and donuts, thanks to Harry, their receptionist/secretary/gofer. After Ares had switched Xena's and Joxer's spirits into Annie's and Harry's bodies, Annie and Mattie decided to convert the Past Lives clinic into an office for their new detective agency. What better way to find and to help those who need it?
All three of them were living in the house that had been Annie and Harry's, then Mattie and Harry's. Annie and Mattie moved into the master bedroom, and Harry was in one of the two spare bedrooms. (Annie and Harry had divorced not long after he and Mattie moved in together.) It seemed to be a satisfactory arrangement. Being early risers, Annie and Mattie were always up with the sun, and after a shared, long, hot shower, they would make their way to the office for the peace and quiet that inevitably ended when Harry showed up around eight thirty with a dozen donuts and large coffees.
Annie had decided she needed a new look, and had dyed her dark brown hair a bright golden blond. Mattie dyed hers a dark shade of red, and both kept their hair shoulder length or longer.
"Well?" Mattie asked again. "What day is it?"
"I don't know. Unless maybe it's the one year anniversary of Ares switching Joxer and me into our right bodies."
"You remembered!"
"Well, after you mentioning it every day for the past month, it was kind of hard not to."
"I didn't think you were listening."
"Are we going to go through that again? You bitched about it when you were Gabrielle and you still won't let it go."
Mattie grinned a big grin, letting Annie know she was just pulling her chain. Annie flipped the newspaper at her, then went back to the classifieds. Mattie turned back to her computer, looking for possibilities as she scanned the news stories.
They were doing all right, now. It was tough at first, but with perseverance, and a bit of luck, they were able to help out a few high-paying clients recovering the kidnapped daughter of a movie producer unharmed, locating a stolen Escalade before it could be disassembled in a chop shop (and getting some appreciation from the police at the same time), and catching the stalker who was threatening a well-known television actress. They weren't rolling in money, but their joint checking account had enough in it they could go six more months without working and still pay the bills.
Harry, tired of losing at computer Solitaire, stuck his head through the door that separated the reception area from Annie and Mattie's office. "You girls about ready for some lunch?"
Mattie glanced up at the wall clock. It was a replica of Xena's old Chakram they bought online. "It's only 10:30. You can't be hungry already!"
"Are you forgetting who you're talking to?" Annie answered as she turned back to the front page.
"Wait until 11:30, then you can go after something," Mattie told him.
"Anything in particular? After all, it IS a special occasion."
"Whatever you get will be fine with us."
"Nothing with celery or bell peppers," Annie instructed. "That stuff gives me heartburn. Or cucumbers. They give me gas."
"Any special dessert?"
"You really have to ask?" Mattie replied.
"Right! Anything with chocolate. And the more the better."
Harry went back to his desk as Mattie went back to scanning the news. "You know, they never did find those Xena and Gabrielle look-alikes who broke out of jail last week."
"I thought the Xena one sprung the Gabrielle one."
"Yeah, but they're still out there. Maybe we ought to look for them, you know, to give us more credibility with the cops."
"Is there a reward for them?"
"I don't think so."
"No pay, no work."
"Okay," Mattie said, and clicked on the link for the next page.
At 11:15 they heard Harry yell out that he was leaving to go after lunch. He knew what they both liked, and it would take three stops to get what he was after, including the one for the double Dutch chocolate cake he knew Mattie liked so much.
Harry was reasonably content to be the second banana. He loved them both, and the memories of being with both of them, both emotionally and sexually, gave him the glimmer of hope that maybe someday things might change back. He knew they depended on him for the more mundane things in their lives, such as bringing them coffee and donuts in the morning, and going after lunch, and answering the phone at work. He also did most of the cooking and cleaning at home. He knew they appreciated him, in their own way.
Harry's first stop was for the spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread from the Italian restaurant Mattie loved. His second stop was for the takeout sirloin steak (well done) with grilled onions, baked potato with sour cream, and Caesar salad for Annie. His last stop was at a bakery that specialized in unique desserts for the cake. It also had a section set aside for sit-down customers who liked to savor their distinctive desserts along with their own line of exotic coffees. Unfortunately, there was more of a crowd than he expected, the owner was short handed, and he was getting impatient having to wait, knowing the food in the car was getting cold.
"Come on!" he yelled out to the woman behind the counter. "I'm a regular here. How about a little service!"
Chapter Two
Face to Face
"Xena, I can't believe you stole ten dollars from that guy. What if he needs it when he wakes up?"
"All he's going to do is buy wine with it. I actually did him a favor."
"But Xena, stealing? You dont do that. Besides, all you're doing is squandering it on this." Gabrielle indicated the two plates of rum cake and the two cups of double mocha latte in front of them.
"So what? We need this. I am getting so sick of the food at the shelter. And you can't say this isn't worth it."
"Maybe so. But we're better than robbing some poor man who doesn't have as much as we do. It's bad enough we had to steal these clothes."
Xena shook her head. "We do what we have to do to survive. Once we get used to this world and the way things work, THEN we'll be okay. But for now that Greater Good crap's going to have to take a back seat."
"That's another thing. You talk like the Greater Good is nothing. Or like it's a philosophy for losers. Whether you want to admit it or not, thanks to Alti you still have the Evil Xena inside you."
"Hey! I broke you out of jail, and I killed Alti, AND I saved those geeks who were working for her. I did a LOT of good!"
"I know you did, it's just that wait, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Listen."
"Well, thank you very much. Took you long enough!"
"It is just me, or does that sound like Joxer?"
"Yeah, right!" Xena replied. "Like he'd be here?"
Gabrielle stood up to look over at the counter, and her jaw dropped. "By the gods, Xena that's Joxer. Look!"
Xena stood up and looked at him.
"So some guy looks like Joxer. It could happen."
"And sound just like him? I think it IS him."
"And just how could that happen?"
"I don't know. What if somehow Alti got some of Joxer's DNA and cloned him first, just to make sure it would work?"
"Okay, you say it's Joxer. Let's go find out."
They left the table and followed the Joxer look-alike outside. Just before he got to his car, Xena yelled out to him. "Hey, you! Joxer!"
At first he ignored them, then slowly turned around. For a second he just stared at them. "Okay," he said. "What's the joke?"
"What are you talking about?" Gabrielle asked.
"What? Did you follow me here? And what's with the hair? I know you guys are good, but . Oh, I get it! This has to do with the anniversary. You want to look like the old days. I can dig it."
"What are you talking about?" Xena asked. "You act like we're supposed to look different."
Harry shook his head. "You're not fooling me. The hair's the same. Cool wigs, by the way, but you should have gotten into costume."
"We couldn't keep wearing our warrior clothes," Gabrielle said. "They were just a bit too conspicuous."
"Then why the wigs? I don't understand what the joke is."
"Xena, I don't think he knows who we are. Maybe I was wrong and Alti didn't clone him."
"Alti? Now there's a name I haven't heard in a while," Harry said. "Who else are you going name-drop? Hercules? Salmoneus? Callisto?"
Xena grabbed Harry by the lapel in anger, then realized what he said.
"How do you know those names if you weren't cloned?"
"Because," suddenly Harry suspected that these two WEREN'T Annie and Mattie. "Because I was Joxer, way back when. I was reincarnated into Annie's body. And Xena was reincarnate into this body. But Ares switched us."
"Ares!" Xena exclaimed. "Don't tell me HE's still around!'
"You know, you two should come with me. I think there are a couple of people you need to meet."
Fifteen minutes later, Harry stuck his head inside the door to Annie and Mattie's office.
"Well, it's about time," Annie said. "I hope you brought lunch."
"I've got something better than that. Girls --"
Harry stood aside to let Xena and Gabrielle walk through the door. Both Annie and Mattie stood up as they watched their doubles come into the office.
"Annie, this is Xena, I think," Harry said. "And Mattie Gabrielle."
All four of them were speechless, and could only stare at their almost-twin. Momentarily Annie and Mattie, and Xena and Gabrielle, looked at the other's companion, then looked back at themselves.
Chapter Three
A Meeting of Minds
"Well," Harry said. "Somebody say something."
"Who are you?" Annie asked.
"Xena's the name," Xena answered. "And this is Gabrielle. Who are YOU?"
"I already told you," Harry said, but was completely ignored.
"Xena, huh. Really?" Annie said. "So, what was your mother's name?
"Cyrene. What was your sister's name?"
"No sister. Two brothers, Toris and Lyceus. Where did you meet Gabrielle?"
"Poteidaia. What was your home town?"
"Amphipolis. What was your horse's name?"
"Argo. What was your daughter's name?"
"Eve. What was your son's name?"
"Solan. What was his father's name?"
"Borias. Who was Eve's father?"
"Callisto. Who was the King of Thieves?"
"Autolycus. Who killed Ephiny?"
"Brutus. Where did Lao Ma live?"
"Chin. Who was Iolaus?"
As Annie and Xena played Twenty Questions, both Mattie and Gabrielle began to grin. When they glanced at each, their grins got even bigger.
But then Xena asked the clincher.
"Where's your Chakram?"
"I have no idea," Annie answered.
Xena reached behind her, underneath her shirt, where the Chakram was tucked into her waistband, and brought it out.
"Mine's right here," Xena said. Gabrielle's grin got even bigger as Annie and Mattie were stunned.
"Are you sure it's the real thing?"
"It cut through the bars to get Gabrielle out of jail."
"That was you two?" Mattie exclaimed. "We thought they were just impersonators."
"No," Gabrielle said. "It was really us."
Tentatively Annie reached out for the Chakram. "May I?"
Xena pulled it back a few inches, then gave it to her. Annie looked it over carefully, spinning it around and feeling its razor-sharp edge. And then, in a way only known to Xena, she easily separated it into its two halves.
After a few seconds, she put it back together, but it was obvious she was reluctant to return it. Xena put out her hand for it.
"You mind if I throw, one time."
"Help yourself," Xena said.
Without hesitation, Annie threw it in a way that it circled the room without hitting anything. When it returned to her, she snagged it out of the air in one smooth motion, then begrudgingly, gave it back to Xena, who slipped it back under her shirt and into her waistband..
"Where did you get it?" Annie asked.
"From Alti."
"Don't tell me she's here!"
"No. I killed her again. And what was Joxer saying about Ares?"
"The name's Harry, if you don't mind," he said, but was still being ignored.
"You know, I think we need to have a talk, a long talk, a very long talk," Mattie said. "Harry, how about that food? Have you two eaten lunch yet?"
"We had cake and coffee just before we spotted Joxer," Xena said.
"It's Harry, remember?" he repeated.
"Yeah, whatever. But we could eat."
The four of them went over to the corner of the office to a sofa, two stuffed chairs and a coffee table where Annie and Mattie discussed cases with their clients. Harry brought the food over, then went to the small refrigerator. "Sodas anyone?" he asked. "Or water?"
They all opted for water. Mattie split her steak and potato with Xena, and Mattie shared her spaghetti with Gabrielle. Joxer heated up leftovers from the night before in the microwave oven for his lunch. As they ate, their stories were told, Xena and Gabrielle went first. Annie and Mattie were still telling their story long after the food was eaten. When all of the questions, for now, had all been answered, Harry brought out the chocolate cake.
After the cake was gone, Xena was looking around for the bathroom. "Gotta dump a load, y'know."
Annie pointed to the door where the bathroom was. After she was inside, Annie said to Gabrielle, "Is it my imagination or is she different? I don't remember being so, I don't know, insensitive to other people's feelings."
"It's not your imagination. She still has so much of the Evil Xena that Alti put into her. When we ran across Joxer ."
"Harry!"
"Harry. Sorry. We were eating cake with money Xena stole from a homeless guy. She said he was asleep when she took it, but I think she knocked him out."
"Then I guess three of us have our work cut out for us."
"Thanks," Gabrielle said with an appreciative smile. "I'm so worried about her."
Just then Xena came out of the bathroom.
"HoooWeee! I wouldn't go in THERE for a while," she said with a wicked grin, then walked over to the small refrigerator, opened it and looked in. "Got any beer?"
"No, no beer," Mattie told her. "I suppose Harry could go get some."
"Not a bad idea. Maybe I'll go with him."
Xena grabbed Harry in a loose headlock and dragged him toward door. "Come on Joxer, let's go get some beer."
As the front door closed behind them, they heard him say, "Harry! The name is Harry!"
Chapter Four
Home Sweet Home
Xena was sitting on the sofa, bored with the newspaper and magazines Annie had given her to keep her occupied while she worked on the computer.
"Is it going to be much longer?" Xena asked.
Annie looked up at the Chakram clock, it read 4:25. "Not too much longer. I'll be finished here in a few minutes."
Xena picked up a magazine, then threw it back down. "Why don't you have a TV?" she asked.
"Because this is a place of business. We don't need one here. I'm almost finished."
Xena glanced over at Gabrielle and Mattie. They were sitting at Mattie's desk and she was showing Gabrielle how to use the computer and how to look for things on the internet.
"Okay," Annie said as she sat down next to Xena. "Another half hour and we'll close up and go home."
"I don't understand this obsession everyone has with doing things exactly the same time all the time."
"It's not that different from when we were living in Greece. Everyone had to wait until dawn before they could start their day. Same thing here, just more precise."
Xena got up and went to the small refrigerator and got out her eighth beer. Annie wasn't particularly happy about how much she was drinking, but said nothing about it. After Xena sat back down next to her Annie asked, "Have you and Gabrielle talked much about the days way back when?"
"Hell no. We've spent all our time trying to find enough to eat and someplace to sleep, and finding clothes to wear. This past week has been worse than a trip to Tartarus. Why, have you and Red?"
"Actually, we have. Of course there are things I remember that she doesn't. And there are things she remembers that I don't. And things we remember differently."
"Like what?"
"She doesn't remember I almost killed her when she was under the influence of the Furies and she stabbed Eve while were in the old tavern fighting the gods. She said she does remember Aphrodite was wearing black but I don't."
"Well, that's ancient history. Who cares about that anyway?"
"I do. I wish I knew what happened to Eve. Mattie said after she left Japan instead of going to Egypt, she took my ashes back to Amphipolis to put them in the family crypt. She said she tried to find Eve but she never did. She said she heard she was traveling with Hercules for a while. And she was in India, and China, and then in Britannia. But she never was sure if it was really her."
"She traveled around a lot that's for sure. Just had to get the good word of Eli spread around. What about Gabrielle? What happened to her?"
Annie smiled at her sudden interest. "She said she went back to Poteidaia for a few years. Then stayed with the Amazons a couple more, but never could find someplace, or someone, to settle down with. She said she remembered getting very sick one winter and things kind of faded out, so she probably died then."
"Probably so. You know, there is something I'm curious about how did Alti get my Chakram? I wonder if she had something to do with Gabrielle dying, and then she took the Chakram and her remaining scrolls and hid them until she needed them again."
"That's possible. I never thought about that."
"Maybe Alti hastened her death, or even killed her."
"Who killed who?" Mattie asked as she and Gabrielle walked over to them. But before Annie could answer, Harry stuck his head inside and informed them it was five till five and he was ready to go. Mattie had already turned off her computer, so while Annie was turning hers off, Xena got the rest of the second six pack of beer from the refrigerator and Mattie started turning off the lights.
A half hour later they pulled up into the driveway of their house. Harry checked the mail as the rest of them went inside. Annie gave Xena and Gabrielle a quick tour of the house, showing them the kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom, her and Mattie's bedroom, Harry's bedroom, and the one Xena and Gabrielle would be in.
"It's smaller that Harry's but the double bed is more comfortable than his. And you're closer to the bathroom."
Harry began fixing supper, Annie set the table, and Mattie gave Gabrielle a couple of towels, a wash cloth, and a toothbrush, and showed her where the shampoo, soap, and toothpaste were so she could take a shower. She also gave her a robe to put on and told her she would find clothes for her.
Xena turned on the television and opened another beer.
After supper, while Harry and Gabrielle did the dishes and Mattie put clean sheets on the bed. Annie took Xena into her bedroom to find clothes for her.
"You know, Mattie looks kinda sexy with that red hair," Xena said.
"It does look good on her."
"I've noticed you keep looking at Gabrielle. It's been a long time since you've seen her with short hair. Remember how much we liked it? And how easy it was to find that spot on her neck that drove her crazy?"
Annie smiled at the memory. "Yes, I do. And I can still find it. Your point?"
"Well, I was thinking, why not switch for the night? You know, you sleep with Gabrielle and I'll sleep with Mattie."
"What? What makes you think I'd want to do that? Or Mattie, or even Gabrielle would?"
"I have to tell you I REALLY find that red hair sexy. And it's not like we'd be cheating, not really. Come on, why not? You know you want to."
"Even if I did, there are still two other people involved here who might not be so receptive to it."
"So we'll wait until it's dark, make some excuse to get up, like going to the bathroom, and you get into bed with Gabrielle and I'll get in bed with Mattie. They'll never know the difference."
"Oh, I think they will. And I think we've exhausted this subject."
Xena followed Annie into the living room, where everyone one else was watching television, but she hadn't given up yet. A half hour later, during a commercial, Mattie went into the kitchen to pour a bag of chips into a bowl and Xena followed her.
"So, how's it going?" Xena asked her.
"Good. It's funny, but I feel about Gabrielle like I did about Lila when we were young, like we're sisters. But it's so odd calling her Gabrielle even though it's not my name now."
"Yeah. Look, Annie and I were talking. And we came to the conclusion that you two are as sexy as you can be. I especially like your red hair. And she's remembering when your Gabrielle's, hair was first cut so short and was so blond. And she thought it would be fun, if we changed partners for the night. What do you think?"
"Annie said that? She thinks Gabrielle's butch haircut is sexier than mine? And she'd rather be with HER?"
"Just for tonight, just to see what it's like. And wouldn't you want to reminisce about what it was like to be with your dark-haired warrior princess again? Remember the wild times we had right at first?"
Mattie gave Xena a dirty look then went back into the living room where she set the bowl down on the coffee table a bit too hard.
"I'm going to bed," she said to no one in particular, then left the living room.
Annie gave Xena a hard look, knowing she said something to anger Mattie. Xena shrugged her shoulders with a look of ignorance on her face, then popped open the can of beer she had gotten from the refrigerator and dropped down on the sofa.
"I think I'll turn in too," Annie said. "It's been a long day." She then followed Mattie to their bedroom to try to undo whatever Xena had done. It was just after eight p.m.
Chapter Five
Something Needs To Be Done
Annie and Mattie were up before seven the next morning. Gabrielle was already up and was sitting at the kitchen table, her elbows were on the table supporting her head. She looked up when she heard them.
"I see Xena never made it to bed," Annie said as she pointed with her head at Xena asleep on the sofa. Empty beer cans were scattered on the coffee table and on the floor.
"No," Gabrielle replied. "I tried to get her to come to bed after Harry turned in, but she said she wasn't sleepy. Then I got up twice more during the night but she was asleep and too heavy for me." Mattie was silent for a few seconds then said in a pleading voice, "Isn't there something you can do? She can't go on like this. I can't go on like this. I love Xena with all my heart, but she's making it harder and harder every day for me not to leave her. She's getting worse and worse all the time."
Gabrielle wiped away a tear. "No, that's a lie. I could never leave Xena. It would tear out my heart to do that."
Mattie put a comforting hand on Gabrielle's shoulder. "I know how you feel," she said and glanced over to Annie for a second or two. "But we'll figure something out."
Gabrielle smiled up at her.
"In the mean time, how about some breakfast? A real breakfast?" Annie asked. "We usually have Harry bring coffee and donuts to the office, but today's Thursday, and almost nothing happens on Thursday."
"Sure, that sounds good."
"Anything in particular?"
"It doesn't matter. I'll eat whatever you fix."
"I'll get Harry up," Mattie volunteered. "You want to wake up Xena?"
"Maybe we should let her sleep a little longer," Annie suggested. "It'll give us some time to throw around a few ideas."
Mattie nodded, then left to wake Harry.
An hour later they were finished with breakfast and were still at the kitchen table, drinking the last of the coffee. Gabrielle had been going over, again, everything she remembered that had happened to her and Xena since they were cloned. Xena was still snoring on the living room couch.
"Well, at least we don't have to worry about Alti," Mattie said.
"Until she reincarnates herself into another body," Annie added. "Hopefully, it will be in one of our future lifetimes."
"But what about Ares?" Gabrielle asked. "What if he catches wind about the new, evil Xena?"
"I don't think we have to worry about Ares showing up anytime soon."
"Why not?"
"Because he's having too much fun."
When Annie saw the perplexed look on Gabrielle's face, she elaborated. "I'm sure you've heard about all the wars and the strife going on in the Middle East Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan. They have Ares' stink all over them. He's too busy working on his goal of world peace through war. Just like it was when he was after me to join him back in Greece."
"And just where did you say Ares was?"
Everyone looked toward the voice. Xena was awake and standing in the doorway to the kitchen.
"He could be anywhere," Annie answered. "But much too far away to call for him, if that's what you were thinking."
"If you say so," Xena said with a skeptical voice, then went to the refrigerator and opened it. "No beer?" she asked.
"You drank it all last night," Gabrielle told her. "How about coffee, and something to eat?"
"Or at least some water," Mattie added. "You should rehydrate, it'll keep you from having a hangover."
Xena turned on the cold water faucet and filled a glass, then drank it down. "Happy?" she asked sarcastically, looking at Mattie. Then to Annie she said, "What's to eat?"
"We have bacon and eggs, or oatmeal, cream of wheat, bagels and cream cheese, corn flakes, raisin bran ."
"Any waffles?"
"No, but I can make pancakes."
"Fine. Whatever. With lots of butter and syrup. They never give you enough at the shelter. And scrambled eggs, with cheese."
"I'll make them for her," Harry volunteered.
"Actually, I need you to open up the office," Annie said. "It'll be close to nine by the time you get there. And someone needs to be there just in case. You never know."
"On my way," Harry said, half way to the door. "I'll call if something comes up."
"That's a good little toady," Xena said loud enough for him to hear as the front door closed behind him. She got unhappy looks from everyone, but only Mattie said something.
"Why do you belittle him like that? Harry's a good guy. He doesn't deserve that."
"Just another stupid Joxer if you ask me."
"Yeah," Gabrielle said. "But it seems to me that you were pretty upset when he died. He might have started out an inept and bumbling warrior wannabe, but you know damn well he was more than just 'dumb Joxer' at the end. He cared about us and we BOTH felt the same way about him." By now Gabrielle was getting angry.
"You probably have time to take a shower before breakfast is ready," Annie said, to Xena , trying to defuse the situation. "Some of my clothes are on your bed. I put them there last night, if you remember."
"Okay," Xena replied and ambled indifferently toward the bathroom. "I could stand some company if anyone wants to volunteer." When there was no answer, she added, "Not real particular who it is."
No one spoke until they heard the bathroom door close.
"I think you're right," Annie said. "Something needs to be done."
"You know, I was just thinking about how we got here last year, remember?" Mattie asked.
"I don't," Gabrielle said facetiously. "But since you told Xena and me about it yesterday, I kind of do."
"Well, it sounds to me that after you two were cloned, you and Xena were in trance-like states, which is very much like a hypnotic trance. So I was thinking if we could get Xena hypnotized, maybe we could emphasize the good parts of her psyche and suppress the evil parts."
"That's as good a plan as any," Annie said as she added the scrambled eggs next to the heated up frozen pancakes. "Now all we have to do is figure out how to get her to sit still long enough to let herself be hypnotized. I have a feeling she won't do it willingly."
"Well, there are always those little obstacles to overcome. But Im sure the three of us can figure out something," Mattie said.
They threw around a few ideas about how to try to get Xena to sit still long enough to hypnotize her, but had to change the subject when she came out of the bathroom.
"I guess I should get to the office if you want to stay here and keep Xena and Gabrielle company," Annie said to Mattie.
"You don't have to stay here because of us," Gabrielle said to Mattie. Then to Annie she said, "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to the office with Mattie. I'd like to learn more about the internet."
"Sure, I don't mind, and Im sure she doesn't. What about you Xena? Anything special you'd like to do?"
"I think I'll just wander around a bit. Now that I don't have to worry about food, and I've got these really spiffy clothes to wear, and a really top-notch place to sleep, I'd like to get a real look at the city. So maybe I'll ride with you to your office and take off from there."
"That's fine. Whatever you want to do," Annie agreed, ignoring the sarcasm. "I guess we don't have to worry about you getting lost. I know how good your sense of direction is."
"How about one of those cell phones?" Xena asked. "Just in case I wander too far to get back before you leave for the day."
"I think we have an extra one at the office."
Chapter Six
A Day at the Office
On the way to the office, Xena had them detour to the homeless shelter where she and Gabrielle has been staying. Their warrior clothes were there. They had put them in paper grocery bags, taped them shut, and written their names on them with magic markers Xena Jones and Gabrielle Smith. But when they got there, they were gone. The director of the shelter could only tell them what they already knew someone must have stolen them.
"Well, its not like they were the real thing," Mattie said after they got back into the car and were on their way to the office. "You can buy them all day long at any of a dozen web sites. At least you have the real Chakram."
"Speaking of the Chakram," Annie said to Xena, looking over her shoulder from the driver's seat, "Do you really think it's a good idea to carry it around with you all the time?"
"Why shouldn't I?"
"What if you get arrested? You might lose it forever."
"That will never happen. There's no way I'll go to jail. You seem to forget just what kind skills I have, and what kind of weapon the Chakram is."
Annie took an exasperated breath. "Catching arrows and spears was fine two thousand years ago. But catching bullets, or even deflecting them, is next to impossible. And I realize there is nothing that can damage the Chakram, but even if you were lucky enough to knock a bullet or two away with it, one miss is all it would take to kill you."
"I'll take my chances. Personally, I think you just want it for yourself."
Annie shook her head in frustration. "Suit yourself. I just hope you know enough to stay out of trouble. I'd hate to have to bail you out of jail because of your bull-headed arrogance."
"I'll be getting out here," Xena said as she opened the car door, barely giving Annie time to pull over to the curb. And before anyone could stop her, Xena was out of the car and out of sight in a matter of seconds.
"Let her go," Gabrielle said, closing the car door. "She knows how to find the office. I'm tired of worrying about her."
Annie hesitated a few seconds, then stepped on the gas and finished the drive to the office of the A&M Detective Agency.
Just after eleven o'clock Harry looked up from his desk. Xena was coming in, and she heading straight for the door to the inner office. But he was fast enough to beat her to it and stood in her way.
"They have a client inside. And they don't need you running off at the mouth and screwing things up," Harry told her in a stubborn voice that belied his apprehension.
Xena stopped only when her breasts were almost touching his chest and her nose was only a couple of inches from his. He was well aware of her nearness but wasn't able to back up without bumping into the door. For almost a half minute they stood there, neither giving in. Finally Xena said, "Don't worry, I won't make any noise. They won't even know I'm there. Now, are you going to get out of my way, or ?"
Harry had a feeling that if he didn't let her in she would toss him aside and go in anyway, so he eased out of her way, being careful not to let any part of his body touch any part of hers. Xena quietly opened the door and went in, closing the door behind her. Annie and Mattie were sitting on the sofa facing her and the client, a man with a Latino accent, was in a chair opposite the coffee table with his back to Xena. She silently went to the small refrigerator, opened it and took out a bottle of water. Both Annie and Mattie glanced at her but otherwise gave no indication she was there.
Xena went to Annie's desk and sat down in the chair. Gabrielle was sitting at Mattie's desk Googling everything she could think of. After swallowing down two gulps of water, Xena screwed the cap back on then started looking over Annie's desk. There were folders with names on them piled on both sides. Xena pulled open the center drawer, looked at the pens and pencils and paper clips and rubber bands, then closed it.
The computer's screen saver had kicked in. It was a multicolored cube that lazily bounced it's way around the screen. Looking at Gabrielle, Xena grinned maliciously, then made a showing of taking her index finger and pushing down on one of the keys. The screen saver stopped and Xena was taken by surprise by the wallpaper. It was a collage of pictures of Mattie with different hair color and lengths. Including Gabrielle's original strawberry blond, and the short blond hair of the current Gabrielle.
Xena looked over at the red-headed Mattie and then back to Gabrielle. A smile touched her lips as she was imagining a threesome, being sandwiched between them in the shower, or in bed. Just then Annie, Mattie, and the man got up from their conference. He was thanking them for their help.
"We'll look the situation over," Annie was saying. "You might not see us, but we'll be there."
He thanked them again, but when he walked past Xena and saw her sitting there, he looked back around at the blond Annie and then back to dark-haired Xena.
"Long lost sister," Xena said to him. He smiled at her then left the office with Annie seeing him to the front door. When she came back in Xena was still sitting at her desk, but with her feet propped up on one corner.
"I have a job for you two, if you're interested."
"What kind of job?" Gabrielle asked, kind of excited.
"What does it pay?" Xena asked immediately, her voice sounding unusually hoarse. She drank more water.
"What happened to your voice?" Gabrielle asked as she walked over to Annie's desk.
"Don't know." Xena croaked. "Think I'm comin' down with somethin' "
"Or maybe you spent a couple of hours yelling for Ares," Annie said knowingly.
"So what if I did? It was worth a shot."
"Why would you do that?" Gabrielle asked. "Haven't you -- we, had enough trouble with him?"
"Things are different now. Maybe we could work something out."
Gabrielle turned away from Xena, and shaking her head in disgust, walked over to the sofa. "I don't believe what I'm hearing," she said as she threw herself down onto the soft cushions and folded her arms across her chest.
"So what about that job?" Xena asked.
Chapter Seven
The Job
"Gabrielle, would you like to join us?" Annie asked her.
"No, I'm good. I can hear perfectly fine from here."
"Please?"
With an aggravated breath, Gabrielle got up off the sofa and walked back to them.
"That man was Hector Ramos," Annie began. "He and his wife, María, own a small Mom and Pop grocery store a few miles from here. And they've recently had problems with four or five of the local teenagers. They think they need to prove how bad they are to the Muerta Roja ."
"What the hell is that?" Xena interrupted.
"It's the name of the gang who controls that particular neighborhood. It's Spanish for Red Death."
"Ooooh, scary!" Xena said in her most sarcastic voice.
"Anyway, these kids are trying to show the gang that they're tough enough and bad enough to be asked to join. Mr. Ramos said he's known these kids all their lives, and they're not bad kids, just going down the wrong path. And he wanted to know if we could look things over and maybe figure out some way to help keep them from doing something they may regret."
"Why not just call the police on them?" Gabrielle asked.
"Because jail time would make them even more attractive to the gang."
"So you want us to go down there and kick some ass." Xena said with a grin on her face.
"No, I want you two to look things over. Get a sense of the neighborhood. Check out the other stores. Maybe talk to some of the shop owners, and see how they feel about things. Basically, it's reconnaissance."
"Sounds pretty boring to me."
"That's what detective work is 99% boring and 1% not. Do you want to do it, or not?"
"Im in," Gabrielle said.
"Okay," Xena agreed. "I guess it's better than sitting around this place all day."
"One more thing Mr. Ramos said he has a couple of surveillance cameras, so I think you and Gabrielle need to wear some kind of disguise."
"Why would we do that?" Xena asked.
"Have you forgotten that you're both still wanted by the police?"
"Oh, yeah. I know, I'll dress up like Anthrax. You remember, when Aphrodite put the love spell on that warlord's son? But since Aphrodite's not here, Gabrielle can be the wife. What was her name? Spitupium?"
"Spitoonia," Gabrielle corrected her.
"Right, we can be Anthrax and Spitoonia."
All four of them chuckled, and kind of bonded, at the memory.
"I don't think it has to be that drastic. Just cover your hair, pin it up, wear a hat. And you'll have to dress down, nothing as fancy as Anthrax and Spitoonia. This is a poor neighborhood and you want to blend in, not stand out."
"We've got some things here," Mattie said. "So we shouldn't have to send Harry back home."
"He could grab some beer while he's out," Xena suggested.
"No he couldn't," Annie countered. "The sooner you two get started, the better it'll be. I don't want you down there after the sun sets. These neighborhood gangs seem to come alive after dark."
"Maybe that's when we need to be there," Gabrielle said. "If that's when the trouble starts."
"If it was the old days, I would agree with you. But today, people don't think twice about pulling a gun and start shooting. And women are just as much a target as men are."
Xena stood up. "We'll just have to see how it goes. If Im -- we're, going to this job, then you can't put shackles on us."
"Okay," Annie said, her voice sounding a little doubtful. But inside she liked what she heard. Xena was starting to sound like the old Xena. "But I'd rather you left the Chakram here. I don't want you to start throwing it around just because you think you need to."
"I'm not leaving the damn Chakram! If the neighborhood is that unsafe, I'm not taking Gabrielle down there and we have no protection."
She didn't say anything, but Gabrielle was more pleased with Xena right then than at any time since she broke her out of jail.
"We'll be all right," Gabrielle told her. "We'll look around, ask a few questions, watch the people, and report back to you."
Xena rolled her eyes and let out an audible breath.
"Won't we, Xena?"
"Oh, sure we will. But on the bright side, I'm sure somebody there sells beer."
Annie ignored her. "Mr. Ramos may not recognize you. He probably will, but just in case he doesn't, let him know who you are, just so there won't be any problems with you two hanging around like "
"Like a couple of homeless bums?" Xena interrupted.
"Well, basically yes. So, any questions?"
"How will we get there?" Gabrielle asked.
"Harry will drop you off a few blocks away from the neighborhood. And I'll give you a cell phone so you can call us when you're ready to go. You do know how to use one, don't you?"
"Kind of," Gabrielle answered. "But a little instruction couldn't hurt."
Mattie got one of the spare phones from her desk, turned it on and showed them both the basics, emphasizing its speed dial capability.
"Maybe we both should have one," Xena said. "Just in case we get separated, or it breaks, or we lose it. You never know."
Annie and Mattie exchanged glances. "Okay," Annie said. "We'll give you each one. But try not to lose them, they're not cheap."
After giving Gabrielle the second phone, Mattie took them to the closet where the extra clothes were kept. Thirty minutes later, they were ready. Xena was still wearing her jeans, but had put on a worn, faded green sweatshirt. She had put her hair up and held it in place with an old baseball cap turned backward. The Chakram was still tucked into the waistband in the small of her back.
Gabrielle was wearing a blue bandana to cover her hair. She had put on a pair of very used jeans with ragged tears over both knees and a dark blue windbreaker with some of the shoulder seams coming apart.
"That should do it," Annie said as she looked them both over. "You might want to put a few smudges on your face, and dirty your hands a bit."
"I know how to go undercover," Xena replied. "Anything else?"
"Just be careful. Don't start any trouble, and don't call attention to yourselves."
"You might want to stay away from those cameras," Mattie suggested. "Just to be on the safe side."
Annie called Harry in from his office and told him where to take them. He left to get the car.
Before Annie could say anything to her, Xena said, "Don't worry, we'll be fine."
Annie nodded. Just then they heard Harry honk the horn. And before they moved to leave, on impulse, Mattie hugged Gabrielle and whispered for her to be careful and come back in one piece. Both Annie and Xena watched them, then looked at each other. Neither made a move but there was a look between them.
Harry honked again, and Xena and Gabrielle got into the car. Annie and Mattie watched it drive off.
"They'll be fine," Mattie said. "I know they will."
Annie nodded, hoping for the best. She put an arm around Mattie's shoulder and they went back inside.