Gabrielle, Goddess of Healing
"You know, Xena, the more I think about it, the less I think I need a title. So what if I'm not Gabrielle, Goddess of This, or Gabrielle, Goddess of That? What difference does it make? Helping people is what's important, not some grand, pompous title."
"You have a point there, I guess. But how are people going to find you to ask for help if they don't have someplace, like a temple, to go to so they can call you when they need you?"
"Well, since I can't help everybody, why can't we just do like we did before I got my powers: travel around, helping out wherever we are?"
"If that's what you want to do, it's fine with me."
It wasn't long before they arrived in Miklos, a small village; typical of the many scattered throughout Greece. And it wasn't long before they were stopped by one of the typical townsman, who was quite angry.
"Are you the Goddess Gabrielle?" he asked her.
Flattered that she was recognized, Gabrielle smiled and said, "Why, yes I am."
"You owe me! I want my money back. That potion your man sold me is worthless!"
Confused, Gabrielle looked at Xena and then back at the man. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't give me that! Where's my money?"
"Look mister," Xena said, stepping between them, "We don't know what your problem is, so why don't you just tell us what this is all about?"
"Two days ago one of your followers came to town selling Magical Potions from the Goddess Gabrielle. He said it would heal all illnesses. I've been taking this stuff for headaches and all it's done is given me a stomach ache."
Gabrielle took the small clay bottle and tipped it up, tasting it. She immediately spit it out.
"This is nothing but ditch water!" she exclaimed. "Steeped with rotted leaves."
"And you expect THIS to heal us?" another man said, who had joined the first.
"Look, I had nothing to do with this, you have to believe me. I know nothing about this," Gabrielle explained in her defense.
"Who was this man?" Xena asked.
"He called himself Lord Gabra, High Priest to the Goddess Gabrielle."
"Well," Xena said to Gabrielle, "At least you're getting some recognition." And then to the man she asked, "What did he look like?"
"He was a short, fat man, wearing some kind of weird robe and a funny looking hat."
Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other, and then said together, "Salmoneus!"
"I'm very sorry about this," Gabrielle told them. "But believe me, this Lord Gabra is no agent of mine. But I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll refund all your money to you. How much did you pay for this - this STUFF?"
"Three, I mean FIVE dinars."
Xena looked at the man funny for a second, but paid him the five dinars.
"What about me?" Another man said. "What about MY money?"
Xena gave the second man five dinars. By this time a small crowd was gathering, each person demanding their dinars:
"I paid six dinars," one woman said.
"I gave him eight."
"I paid TEN dinars."
"Five!" Xena shouted at them. "All you're going to get is five. It's five or nothing."
As she handed out the money, Xena realized she didn't have nearly enough to pay everyone. Whispering to Gabrielle, she said, "What are we going to do when the money runs out?"
"Just a moment," Gabrielle answered, and went to Argo's saddlebag. She reached in, there was a soft golden glow, and she pulled out a large leather pouch, filled with shiny, new dinars. After they had given out all the money, the crowd dissipated, happy with their newfound wealth.
"You know, Gabrielle, you can't just start making money like that. That's counterfeiting, and it's illegal."
"I know, but I had to do something, otherwise we'd had a riot on our hands."
Just then Gabrielle noticed a woman standing nearby with a small boy in her arms.
"I'm sorry," Gabrielle said to her, "but the money is all gone."
"I don't want your money. My child is very sick. I gave him some of your medicine, but he just got worse." By now the woman was in tears. "If you won't help him, he'll die."
Gabrielle looked at Xena, and then went to the woman. "Let me see him," she said.
Gabrielle took the boy from the woman. "By the gods, this boy is burning up with fever! He's drenched with sweat, and trembling so."
As her concern for the boy grew, her maternal instincts took over and she held him close to her, closing her eyes. As she did, the young child was bathed in a soft violet glow, which deepened to a deep Royal purple. Several minutes later Gabrielle felt the boy moving, struggling to get free from her embrace.
"Let me go!" he demanded.
As Gabrielle lowered him to the ground, he looked up at her then to his mother, "I'm hungry! I want to go home."
The boy's mother, overcome with relief and gratitude, knelt before Gabrielle, took her hand and kissed it.
"Thank you. Thank you. You truly are a Goddess of Healing. Thank you for the life of my son."
As the woman and her child left, Gabrielle's hands went to her face, covering her nose and mouth, tears pouring from her eyes.
"Oh Xena!" She cried out as she turned to her friend. "I did it! I healed someone!"
And in a outpouring of emotion, she embraced her Rock, her Support. " I did it! Just like Eli. I'm a Healer!"
"Yes you are, just like Eli. Except he didn't have the pretty colors to go along with it."
Gabrielle back away enough to look at Xena, tears running down her cheeks, the funny half-smile on her face and said, "Except for the pretty colors."
As she started to back away, Gabrielle's hands moved over Xena's shoulders and down her arms. Then with a slight frown, she put her left hand back on Xena's right shoulder, gently feeling it.
"Hey," Xena said, "No messing around."
Ignoring the joke, Gabrielle continued to probe the shoulder. "You're got some arthritis here," she stated.
"Yeah, a little. That's my fighting arm, you know."
"You must be in pain all the time."
"A little. It's not so bad, most of the time."
Gabrielle gripped the shoulder a little harder and once again the soft, violet glow appeared. Seconds later Xena said. "It doesn't feel too bad now. In fact, it feels -- good."
And moving her arm in circles, she added, "I can't remember the last time it felt this good. Thanks."
"It was my pleasure." Gabrielle replied, tears starting to well up again. "I can't believe I can really Heal. It's what I've wanted to do for so long."
Xena just smiled at her, enjoying her companion's happiness.
After a short while, Xena asked, "Gabrielle, since you're in the healing mood, how about looking at Argo's right front leg, she's been kind of favoring it here lately."
"Sure, I could use the practice."
Gabrielle walked over to Argo and patted her neck. "Hi, Girl. I'm just going to check you over a little."
Gabrielle slowly ran her hands down the horse's leg, and stopped at her foreleg, just below the knee. A few moments later she said, "You're right. I can feel the beginnings of a shin splint."
Again, there was the violet glow. As the glow died out and Gabrielle stood up, Argo lifted her right leg and pawed a few times, as though trying out the newly healed leg. She then nickered and pushed her nose against Gabrielle.
"Well, you're certainly welcome," Gabrielle said to the horse. "After all the months you've allowed me to ride behind Xena, it's the least I could do." Agro whinnied again, pawed again, and then went back to grazing.
"Gabrielle, we need to find Salmoneus before he causes any more harm. Do you think you can sense where he is?"
Gabrielle closed her eyes, probing the land in an ever-widening circle. It wasn't long when she opened her eyes. "I know where he is -- the next town over, about a day's ride. But WE can be there just like that," Gabrielle said, snapping her fingers.
"Maybe for you and me, but I don't think Argo would like that popping in and out. Why don't you go on ahead and Argo and I will get there the old fashioned way."
"Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Nah, you go on, before Salmoneus gets in trouble. We'll be there soon enough."
Just before she flashed out, Gabrielle said, "you know, I think I rather like that Goddess of Healing thing."
Moments later Gabrielle found Salmoneus, standing in the back of his brightly painted red wagon, hawking the miraculous elixir. She couldn't help but notice that he was dressed in a long blue robe with yellow stars and crescent moons on it, and a tall pointed hat, similarly adorned.
"Where DOES he get those clothes?" she wondered to herself.
As she watched from a distance, a smile slowly crossed her face. She had a plan. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, Gabrielle changed her clothes into those that might be worn by an old woman, with a shawl to cover her hair and half her face. She also altered her voice to sound twenty years older.
As she approached, Salmoneus was urging his audience to buy the potion for only 3 dinars.
"What's it taste like?" Gabrielle hollered out.
"Why, it's delicious, like the drink of the gods."
"Then why don't you drink some?"
"This is too precious to waste on someone like me," Salmoneus answered back.
"I'll buy five bottles if you'll drink it."
"Well . . . okay."
Salmoneus slowly tipped the bottle up, letting the liquid touch his lips, but not drinking. Gabrielle moved her finger and the contents of the bottle passed through his lips and into his mouth. He immediately began to choke, spitting out the vile tasting fluid. As they realized how terrible the potion must be, no one wasted any time leaving.
When she was the only one left, Gabrielle reverted back to herself. Then Salmoneus realized who the old woman really was. He jumped down from the wagon and knelt in front of Gabrielle, taking her hand to kiss it. "Oh Great Goddess Gabrielle, I am but your Humble Servant, here to obey your every command!"
Gabrielle jerked her hand away. "Get up, Salmoneus. You're as phony as a three-dinar coin. Just what do you think you're doing?" she asked, now getting angry. "Besides tarnishing the respectable reputation I was beginning to get?"
"I'm not hurting anyone. I was just...."
"Not hurting anyone? If Xena and I hadn't come along when we did, a child in Miklos would have died! Just because his mother thought your so-called magical potion could cure him! And how could you charge those poor people five dinars for that, that CRAP?"
"Five? I only charged them two; okay three. Did they tell you five? I could have gotten five? What a fool I was!"
"Yes, five. And Xena and I had to pay every one of them back."
"That must have cost you a small fortune. I didn't know Xena had that kind of money."
"She didn't. I had to 'produce' a few extra dinars."
Salmoneus' eyes widened. "You mean you can actually MAKE money?"
Seeing the dinar signs in his eyes, Gabrielle told him, "Don't even think about it, not for one candle flicker. By the way, WHERE did you get those ridiculous clothes?"
"Oh, they're my own creation. Do you like them? I thought the hat was an especially nice touch. You see, I took...."
"I don't want to hear it. Look, I'm going back for Xena. In the mean time, you're not going anywhere."
She then pointed at the front wheel of the wagon, charring the spokes with a stream of fire.
"That will let you go just far enough to get to the blacksmith's shop. I want this poor horse stabled, curried, and new shoes put on him."
Without another word, Gabrielle flashed out.
"Did you find him?"
"I found him all right. He was trying to sucker more good people into buying his bad tonic. But I fixed him. Once he got a taste of his own medicine, no one was buying."
"You didn't let him get away, did you?"
"Nope, I fixed his little red wagon as well. He'll still be around when we get there."
Xena leaned down, gave Gabrielle a hand up onto the back of Argo, and the horse set off into a distance-eating canter.
They arrived just before sunset. Salmoneus' wagon was parked next to the blacksmith's shop. The burnt wheel had been taken off. Gabrielle and Xena went inside with Argo. The blacksmith mentioned that Lord Gabra told him they were coming, and they would pay for the boarding of both horses and the repair of the wagon wheel.
"Can you believe him?" Gabrielle asked Xena.
"That's Salmoneus for you."
"Are you really the Goddess Gabrielle?" the blacksmith asked.
"Yes I am. It's nice to meet you. And we WILL get this money situation straightened out."
Looking at Xena -- taller, older, armored, and well armed, the blacksmith timidly asked, "You're her apprentice?"
"No," Xena answered, not knowing whether to be amused or insulted.
"She's my friend. We go everywhere together," Gabrielle told him. The blacksmith only nodded. "We'll be at the tavern if you need us for anything," Gabrielle added. The blacksmith nodded again.
As they walked toward the tavern, Gabrielle said, to no one in particular, "Xena, Goddess Apprentice."
Xena looked at her, but didn't say anything.
"Xena, Scroll-writer Apprentice. Xena, Pan pipe-playing Apprentice. Xena...."
"Okay. Okay. I get your point."
As they entered the tavern they saw Salmoneus sitting in a corner, the table in front of him piled high with food.
"Xena, Gabrielle! Over here!"
The two women sat down, but before he could say anything more, Xena lit into him, "What's the big idea telling the smithy WE were going to pay? You have all the money, remember?"
"But I thought Gabrielle could just, you know, MAKE a few dinars, if you know what I mean, just to cover the fees."
"That was an emergency. It won't happen again," Gabrielle said.
Xena added, "YOU are going to pay the smithy fifteen dinars."
"FIFTEEN DINARS! For what?" Salmoneus exclaimed.
"Two dinars for your horse, two dinars for my horse, four for the wagon wheel, and seven dinars for lying. Oh, and before I forget. Bartender! Another round of drinks for everyone! Compliments of my friend here."
"What are you trying to do, make me spend it all? I do have expenses, you know."
"Such as?"
"Well, food, for one."
"Speaking of food," Gabrielle cut in. "Look at what you're eating: mutton, layered with FAT, pork skins in heavy goat's cream, cheese, honey, wine. Where are all the dark green vegetables? Where are the fresh fruits?"
"My body and I have an agreement. I give it what it likes and it doesn't argue back."
"Well, we're going to have to do something about your diet."
Salmoneus' eyes got big again at the dreaded word, "DIET!? It's not funny to joke about something like that!"
"Whose joking? If you're going to be my representative, I can't have you dying because you ate yourself to death."
At the same time, both Xena and Salmoneus said, "Your Representative?"
"Oh yes. I've decided that if I'm going to be the Goddess of Healing, I'm going to need someone to weed out those who actually need me, and those who are just looking for sympathy. I'm going to teach you how to examine people to see how sick they really are."
"Examine sick people?" Salmoneus said, getting a very apprehensive look on his face.
"Certainly. You'll need to touch them, smell their breath, taste their fluids...."
"Taste their fluids?" he repeated, feeling sick to his stomach.
"Of course. How are you going to know whether they really have a serious disease or not if you don't taste their fluids?"
Pulling the napkin from the throat of his robe, where it had been tucked in, Salmoneus hurriedly got up from the table.
"I really should check on the horses, and change clothes. I was really getting tired of these old things anyway. I think I need to get rid of some old bottles, and repaint my wagon. Maybe we'll run into each other again, someday; a long time from now." And he headed toward the door.
Pulling the bowl of pork and cream in front of her Gabrielle said, "Looks like that's one problem taken care of without magic."
"Yep," Xena said, as she bit into the leg o' lamb.