by:
Disclaimers: Uhm. No.. I don't think so. This is a work of fiction, born of my psychotic imagination. And all the characters, (along with their neuroses and psychoses), belong to Bertha (my faithful Muse) and myself. You may borrow them for your own personal use, but make sure they shower before returning them to me.
Sex/Violence: Yeah, this one shall have sex at some point or another, so get the vibrators ready. And it will be that fun lesbian sex we're all so fond of, so if you're not 18... OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! Well no... you know the drill. Violence? No.. none of that. I bring you loooove...
Dedication: To Cindy, for listening to me talk ENDLESSLY about this story and its characters, and for reading, and re-reading, and supporting my madness through all its twists and turns. Thank you for teaching me about love... I was clueless before you came along...and I still have much to learn. I dedicate this also to all my fellow hopeless romantics.. we're a dying breed, I know...
Feedback: Send comments, questions, and bribary to amazonkiwi@aol.com
Chapter
19
I was ready for anything. I was ready for her to claim that the woman had been her long lost sister. Or a cousin. I was probably overreacting anyway. Just because she was … naked … and there was a strange woman in her apartment didn’t necessarily mean that Valerie was cheating on me. There were a million and one explanations. And I was ready for any of them, really. Except that one.
"I mean, my name is Valerie Skye," she continued, looking very flustered. She paused for a long time. "Look, Alix, there's nothing going on with me and that woman up there. She's just a friend."
That's really all she had to say to begin with. "Then what did you mean when you said that you weren't Valerie Skye?"
She visibly swallowed. "I can't .. I can't tell you. I shouldn't have .. Look, I'm just not who you think I am …"
This had to be a dream. I looked around expecting Jessica to appear out of the blue and claim to be my father, or Jade to appear hovering in the air like a genie, something, anything to let me know that this was in fact a dream and that what I thought was happening wasn't really happening at all. When nothing of the sort happened, I turned back to Valerie. "You're really confusing me."
She took a step toward me, but I backed away. "Alix … I swear there's nothing going on between her and me."
"What did you mean when you said you weren't Valerie Skye?" I asked again.
I'd never seen her look so pained as she did at that moment. Like the world was falling all around her and she couldn't do a thing to stop it. She took a step away from me. "I'm not who you think I am," was her answer, once again.
This wasn't supposed to be happening. We weren't supposed to be standing outside her apartment building having this conversation. We were supposed to be inside, eating McDonald's. And then I was supposed to give her the Labyrinth ring and then we'd talk and watch TV and spend the night together. This … whatever this was … wasn't part of the plan. Where was the rewind button so I could start everything over?
"I guess I can't ask you to pretend I didn't say anything, huh?" Valerie asked sadly.
"If you're not who I think you are," I started, ignoring her question, "then who are you?"
She stared at me, shaking her head. "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Because I can't," she said, sternly this time.
I frowned at her tone. All I wanted was for her to make everything okay again. Why wasn't she? "Call me when you can," I said, my voice breaking from emotion. Then I walked away from her, hoping she would stop me. Hoping she would run after me. Hoping …
But she didn't stop me. And she didn't run after me. She just stood there and watched me walk away ..
Epilogue
And now I'm here, writing all of this down. I was hoping that remembering everything would somehow help me make sense of what happened. But it hasn't. In fact, it has left me more confused than ever because I never saw it coming.
A month ago, Jessica's wedding was the biggest tragedy in my life. I thought I'd lost my one true love …
But I think I've learned something about love. It's fluid, like water … and it doesn't have to remain in one place just because you will it to do so. And one day, you can go to sleep with one person on your mind and find yourself dreaming about someone totally different.
This isn't how you expected this to end, huh? Well .. like I said at the beginning. This wasn't for you .. it was for me. I was trying to find the missing pieces that I somehow overlooked the first time around. But I guess I'll always have to wonder.
I guess this is the end. So why does it feel like the beginning?
Author's Note: Alright, before you all start throwing sharp objects at my head and cyber beating me (as much as I would enjoy that) … this story will be continued and all of your questions shall be answered…