Deserving of Love

by Ellie Maziekien


Across the fire I can see the glint of moisture on her cheek;
in a heartbeat I am next to her, my eyes gently questioning.
What is it that has made her cry?
Her tears always upset me and she knows it.
She doesn't often give in to them,; maybe it would be good if she did,
a good cry can do wonders, as I well know.
But no. It's the warlord persona.
She has to be tough and strong.
I am the only one who sees the heart beneath the steadfast façade,
her understanding, her caring glances,
her glorious full smile; the one that lights up her whole face,
making the fiery sapphire eyes sparkle and dance.
Most of the time, when I question her, she shrugs it off.
Something in her eye. Windblown dust. The smoky fire.
Tonight she turns to me and takes my hands in hers.
"I have just been sitting here thinking of what my
life could have been, if I had met you sooner."
I breathe out slowly.
"I was just thinking how fortunate I am
to have you in my life," she whispers.
Her voice breaks and I put my arms around her.
After a fierce hug, I hold her tenderly
as she rests her head against my shoulder.
Too soon, she sighs heavily.
"I don't deserve to be happy."
I take her face in my hands.
"You, my love, deserve every happiness."
She shakes her head but I am gently insistent.
"And if I were you," I continue, "I would take it when I can get it!"
This wins me a shaky laugh, and I kiss the remaining tears away,
cuddling with her on our furs.
I will have a go at erasing the remaining tension.
At my whispered suggestion, she is transformed
by that astonishing smile and we bond, heart and soul,
with the certainty and promise of love.


© Ellie Maziekien
9/14/2000

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