PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS AT WORK!! GO BACK TO THE BARNEY CORNER Sides isn’t it like against policy to be doing such acts at work that could have a devastating effect on your colleagues if they walk in? Hmmm? This story depicts a loving relationship between persons of the same sex. So if you are a close minded , get a clue it’s the 21st century of course there is going to be more same sex relationships in stories and on TV get used to it. or if it is illegal in your state, don’t read this. Right at the moment I’m in College and I don’t need some hate group after my ass. So just go away. You might scare the neighbors. You have been warned. Don’t blame me when you come to that part of the story and you go screaming into the night. shrugs

Well that’s enough of me flapping my lips. On with the story. Hope to those that are reading this that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

"Of all the stupid, pigheaded things you have done, this has definitely taken the cake. Your agent called me because, now get this, she said you wouldn't take her calls. She told me that you turned down a book signing and a convention, Jack!"

"Well to answer your questions Stace it wasn't that hard really. You see all I did was . . .," I try to explain, but Stacy interrupts me.

"Enough, Jack. I can't stand listening to you while you try to rationalize to me why you refuse something each and every time you do!" She exclaims.

She stops for a minute then looks at me funny as she watches me pack the last of my duffel bags.

"What in the hell are you doing?"

"You know exactly what the hell I'm doing. I'm packing. I leave for Elkader today. All though I don’t know why. Seattle is the best place to live, but nooooo, we have to move all the way to Dulls Vill, USA!!!! " I snap sharply.

"You parents still want to move?"

"I told you they probably would at the beginning of camp and I was right. Besides today's the last day of camp and you should be packing too."

"So you’re leaving now? You’re not going back to Seattle?"

"Nope, My plane leaves in a half an hour. Mom and dad are already in Elkader and I gotta book it cause my ride should be here soon."

"What about Dan?"

"What about him?"

"Aren't you going to tell him? I mean he is your boyfriend."

"So? I already told him and if he doesn't like it then so be it and if he does oh, well."

"I can't believe your saying that. He's your boyfriend for god’s sake and he loves you."

"Does he love me? Then why did he go out on a date with Christa?"

"I didn't know. I'm sorry, Jack."

"That's okay, Stacy. No damage done if that's what your worried about."

I turn around rubbing my chin. I groan as soon as I see that the cab that’s going to take me to the airport is already here and waiting for me to get going.

"Well I have to go, my cab's here already."

"Call me as soon as you get into Elkader would you, Jack?"

"Of course, Stacy. As soon as I get home."

I give her a hug good bye then I grab my bags and walk out of the room to the cab waiting for me.

I watch out the window as the familiar landscape that I had seen earlier in the summer whiz by. I sit dreading the moment we would arrive to the airport.

We arrive at the airport about fifteen minutes before the plane is scheduled to take off. I pay the guy the fair plus tip. Then turn around and look around the building. I grab my bags slinging them over my shoulder I look at the airport from the outside once more then sigh and walk through the doors.

I walk in and get almost ran over by a crowd of people walking frantically by on their way to their own destination. I check my watch I sigh when I see that I have at least ten minutes until I have to board the plane. So I make my way over to the luggage department and set my bags on to the conveyor belt. First I check to see if my bags were tagged so that they’d be put on the right plane. I lift my wrist to look at my watch again when I hear a voice say,

"Now boarding at gate twelve, destination Elkader, Iowa."

I stand around trying to figure out where gate twelve is. Then it occurs to me that if I’m at gate ten then I’d have to go at least down two more gates before I’d be at gate twelve. I hit my forehead shaking my head I walk down to the terminal. I give my ticket to the women that’s standing at the door. She tells me that my seat is V26 and that it is a window seat. I thank her and walk through the hall way leading on to the plane. I look around and groan wondering how the heck I’m going to going to find my seat till a woman comes over to me and directs me to my seat. I sit looking out of the window patiently waiting for the plane to take off.

I start thinking about what’s going to happen when I get to Elkader.

I’ve a pretty good vibe about going there, and yet I’m sitting here dreading going all at the same time. I shake my head trying to get the feeling of dread out of my system. I tap into the part of me that is longing to go to Elkader. I feel a calm wash over me once I do that. It’s almost as if my future is to go to Elkader. I’m shaken from my thought's when I feel the plane shudder and start down the run way to take off.

So here I am, Jack Steffeno, in a airplane flying high over the states heading towards Elkader. How I long to be back in Seattle right about now. I sigh as I feel hatred wash over me about my parents. I just couldn’t believe that they would do something like this.

I mean I know that my Dad's company transferred him to Elkader. But why did he have to take it? Sighing again I think about mom and dad worrying about buying houses and were I was going to go to school at.

I rub my neck as I start to think about my grandma.

My grandma has past away a couple of days after the offer was made and even though it was sad my bad luck was beginning cause my grandma left the ranch, which she had used to raise horses, to dad in her will. So that had solved the house problem for us. So dad took the job offer and said that we could worry about where I was gonna go to school as soon as I got back from archery camp.

I sigh as I lean my head against the glass of the window thinking about everything. I close my eyes and drift into an uncomfortable sleep.

As the plane lands in Elkader I rack my head against the window and almost fall out of my seat as we touch down. I groan softly rotating my head slightly feeling the pain that shoots through my neck from the position that I had fallen asleep in. Once the doors open I rush off of the plane and through the hall way then into the crowded looking airport. Looking around the airport I spy the thing I’m looking for. I smirk and almost shout A BATHROOM!! I grumble thinking 'Why do I always have to drink to much soda when I'm on a trip?' I shake my head as I take off into a dead run towards the womans room.

Couple minutes later I emerge from the bath grinning. "Ahhh I feel better." I think as I look around for the luggage pick up. Once I spot it I trot over there. I look around for my bags impatiently. I groan as the pain in my neck worsens. Once I spy my bags I lean over to I grab my them. I laugh to my self as I about fall onto the conveyor belt. Once I do grab them I head for the doors to the drive up. Once I’m outside I take a deep breath of air. It feels good to be able to breath fresh air and not musty spelling air that smells like people haven’t taken a bath in years. I chuckle at the thought of that then shudder at it as well. I can’t imagine not being able to take a bath for a year. I know I could not stand being able to take a bath for a day.

I sniff the air raising an eyebrow I notice that the air smells like rain. I look up and see angry black clouds gathering in the distance. I scratch my head thinking. "Good sign or bad sign? I can never remember. Probably a bad sign knowing my luck." I sign as I look around for my dad. I see my dad waiting for me a couple cars down from where I am. I wave at him letting him know that I’m here. He pushes off the side of the car that he was leaning against and gets the keys to unlock the trunk for me.

I smile at him before hopping into the car. I put my seat belt on then wait for my dad to start the car up and pull out of the parking lot. We don’t talk much on the way to the farm. Not that I would’ve expected him too. I mean my dad is kind of in a phase where I guess he doesn’t know what to do with me since I don’t really need him much any more.

I sigh softly as I lean my head against the seat belt strap watching as the fields and animals whiz by. I grumble to myself thinking, "All I see is corn. Iowa the land of Corn." I snort then think, "No Iowa the land of porn." I try not to laugh to loudly at that thought. I look over at my dad to see if he had noticed. I watch him as he watches the road for on coming traffic and I guess little critters that might run out in front of us. I turn my head back to the window rubbing my forehead lightly as I do. The head ache is slowly going away, but it’s leaving a nasty blurring to my eyes. "I wonder if I need glasses" think to myself.

I watch another barn go by thinking, "If I see one more damn barn I’m gonna go insane. It feels like this drive to grandma’s. Ooops I mean our ranch," I roll my eyes at the thought. "Is taking forever." I rub my eyes then lean my head back to try and get some sleep for a bit.

I think I was finally starting to drift off when dad’s voice sort of drifted into my conscious.

"We’re there."

"Uh?? What?" I lift my head looking out side.

By the gods. The house is huge and there are horses everywhere. Well almost everywhere. I chuckle as I take it all in.

"So this is home. Huh?"

"Yep. Come on."

I grin as I try to get out of the car only to release that I still have my seat belt on. I groan softly then unbuckle it almost falling out of the car in the process.

"By the gods. You would think I’m more graceful then this," I say growling at myself.

My dad laughs at me and shakes his head.

"Don’t worry, Jack. Things will get better."

I look at him and snort trying not to laugh.

I shut the door then slap the dust off of my pants. I turn and look at the house and whistle.

"Whoa dad. I never knew grandmas house was this big. Nor did I know the ranch was either," I say as I walk around to the back of the car to help dad unload my bags.

He smiles at me and nods.

"Yeah. My mom loved her horses. She just had a bond with them."

"Kind of unlike me, huh dad?" I ask shivering remembering my first encounter with a horse.

"Awww, Jack, you didn’t know that the horse was wild."

I nod hauling my bags out of the trunk then start over to the front door.

"I know dad, but still they kind of give me the willies," I chuckle and so does dad.

I sling my bags over my shoulder and walk up the steps to the house. I open the door and step through the door way only to be met by my mother as she rushes from some room in the house towards the door.

"Oh, Jacqueline, it’s so good to have you home," she gushes as she pulls my into a huge hug.

I roll my eyes silently, but don’t say anything to her about calling me Jacqueline. I sigh as I think, ‘why in the gods name can’t she just call me Jack like everyone else?’ I pull away and pick my bags back up that had been dropped when my mom attacked me.

"Thanks mom. It’s good to see you again. I missed you."

"Oh honey. You look so much older then when you left for camp."

I chuckle and nod, "Thanks mom."

"Your welcome honey," she says as she looks at me. "Oh honey, lets get you settled into your new room."

I nod then turn around and open the door for dad when I hear him come up the steps.

"Thanks Jack," dad says with a smile.

"No problem dad."

"Honestly Mario. Why do you have to call her Jack?"

I look at mom then sigh. I open my mouth to say something when she goes on in a rush.

"Anyway. I was just telling Jacqueline that we should get her all set up into her new room."

"That sounds like a good idea, Cecil. Come on Jack. I’ll show you where your new room is," dad says as he hefts the duffel bag over to the stair case.

I chuckle as I notice that he uses the nickname on purpose to ruffle my moms feathers. He turns around and winks at me. I wink back then laugh softly. I lean my head to the side thinking, ‘Dad knows that mom hates that nickname and yet he uses it in spit of what she says. That’s what I love about dad. Know matter what she says about that nickname it’ll always stick with me. I like it much better then Jacqueline.’ I grumble silently to myself as I trudge up the stairs following dad.

Once we get to the top I look around and see that there are three doors. Dad takes me down to the very last door on the left. He opens it up and inside is the best room I have ever seen in my entire life.

The walls of the room are painted to look like a forest and the carpet is dark green to make it look like the forest floor. I look around to see that there’s furniture already in the room. The bed’s like a bunk except that it’s got a desk and drawers underneath the top bunk and it’s built into it. I walk over to the bunk and run my hand across the wood feeling the smooth polish of it. I lean my head against the post and smell a faint whiff of cedar. I smile thinking, ‘this wood bunk goes great with the room so does all the other furniture since their all made out of wood and I bet they smell like cedar just like this bunk does.’ I walk over to the closet door and open it up. I whistle as I raise an eyebrow up to my bangs. The closet is a walk in closet that has a built in shelves. I turn around and see that built into the wall beside the window looking out over the meadow and pond a book shelf.

I turn around and face dad smiling from ear to ear.

"Whoa dad this is a great room."

"I thought you would like it. That’s why I didn’t make it into my study," he chuckles. "Other wise if you didn’t like it. I was gonna move my stuff out of the room I’m using for a study into this one."

"Oh no," I laugh at his lopsided smirk. "This room is mine. Sorry dad."

"That’s okay squirt. I knew you would keep this room anyway. So you wanna see the best thing about this house?" He asks his eyes twinkling with mishechive.

"Sure dad what’s that?"

"You’ll see. Come with me."

We drop the bags then move out of the room. He motions for me to follow him out of the room. I raise an eyebrow then nod as he turns around and begins to lead us to a door at the end of the hall. He opens it up and lets me see what’s on the other side of the door. I lean to the side and see that there are stairs. I look up at him and raise an eyebrow. He puts his finger against his lips then motions for me to go first. I nod then start up the stairs only to stop when I hear him close the door behind us. I turn around and look at him. He motions for me to continue so I do. Once I reach the top step I stop. Before me lays a room that has a pool table, a juke box, dart board, table tennis table, a desk and some chairs. I turn around and look at dad.

"What is this place?"

"This was your grandmas game room. She had it fixed up for us before she died. She knew we would need a place to go when your mother starts to nag at us," dad explains as he shows me two keys.

"Does mom know about this place?" I ask looking at the keys.

"No she doesn’t. She thinks this room is just the attic. You know how much she hates bats so she wont come up here. I believe your grandmother also made this a sound proof room as well, but I’ll have to ask the people that did the room so till then no loud music," he warns me sternly then laughs. "We don’t want your mother knowing."

"Yeah, but the only way to get into here is through the door we came up here," I say confused as I run my fingers through my hair.

"Nope it’s not. That door stays locked. There’s a door in the closet of your room and there’s a door in my study. Come with me," he takes my hand and leads my to one spot. "See this," he points to a door.

"Yeah."

"This is the door to my study which is the room in front of yours and this one," he leads me over to the other side of the room that has another door. "Is the door that leads to your room. Seems that this room was the servants room and was easier to take care of their masters this way. I don’t know why it doesn’t go to the master bed room, but it doesn’t quit matter to me," he chuckles.

"Whoa dad this is cool."

"Yeah I thought you’d like it, Jack," he looks at his watch. "Damn. We better get back downstairs before your mother comes looking for us. I’m gonna go lock the door cause I forgot to," he says as he hands me a key. "Here’s your key to the room. The door in your room locks once you shut the door so you need to unlock it with the key to get back up here. No get before your mother sees that we’re no where to be found."

I laugh then nod, "Alright dad. I’ll see you downstairs."

I open the door and peer into the dark. My eyes get accustom to the dark and I can see that there’s a spiral stair case. I rub my chin then walk down the stairs to another door. I open that and see that dad was right. It did open up into my new room. I chuckle to myself and close the door softly so mom doesn’t hear it. I grin as I think to myself, ‘what a great place to just go and relax and get away from my mom.’ I sigh and think, ‘if only she wouldn’t try to run my life so much.’

Dad pokes his head into my room and I grin at him then scratch my head.

"Where’s my stuff?"

"In the garage," he grins at me sheepishly.

"Oh what a great place for my stuff to be dad," I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Hey it was your mothers idea."

I sigh then nod and following him down to the garage. I stop before the garage and look at it.

"Mum dad. It looks like a shed."

"I know. There’s two of them. The other ones bigger then this."

"I hope so. You couldn’t get one of those new Beetles in here."

Dad laughs deeply shaking his head.

"I know Jack."

I laugh with dad as we start hauling boxes up to my room and stuff them in there.

After the third load we’re finally done. Before I can go back upstairs mom stops me.

"Jacqueline, if you wanna change your room that’s fine with your dad and me."

I raise my eyebrow at her and try not to look at her like she had grown another head over night.

"That’s alright mom I like it the way it is."

"Okay sweetie it was just a suggestion."

"Thanks though mom."

"Your welcome sweetie," she says as she leans over and kisses my cheek.

I smile at her then trudge back up the steps. I meet dad at the top of them and give him a funny look. He just laughs and pats my shoulder.

I mutter so only dad can hear me, "Thanks for your support DAD!"

He just laughs even deeper then walks down the stairs.

I shake my head and walk down the hall to my room. I stop and lean my shoulder against the door way looking at my room. I crack my knuckles then walk into my room to start to unpack my stuff.

A half an hour later I’ve got all my stuff unpack and put away or set up the way I want it to be. I stand in the middle of the room surveying my handy work when I hear my mom call my name. I mutter then run down the hall and then I get an idea and slide down the banister. I jump off of it when I get to the end.

"Jacqueline!!!!!!!! If I ever see you do that again you’ll be grounded do you understand me?"

"Yes mom. I understand," I mutter just as dad walks in.

"Oh come on Cecli. Jack is just having fun."

"If is very unlady like for her to be doing that."

"You should talk, Cecli. Especially after what we have to tell her."

I look from my mom then to dad then back again then I raise my hand up and say,

"Whoa time out. Tell me what?" I ask leaning my head to the side.

Mom looks at me. I can see that what she’s gonna tell me she doesn’t really wanna, but it seems that she’s gotta do it for some reason.

"Well actually I’ve got some good new for you, Jacqueline."

"Uh huh and what’s the good news? Your gonna raise my allowance?"

"You wish," dad butts in.

I laugh deeply till I see the scowl on moms face as she looks at dad then at me.

"No that’s not it. We’ve enrolled you in a school."

"And that’s good news?" I ask yawning getting bored with her running around the bushes.

"Now, Jacqueline, have more enthusiasm would you? But there is a catch sweetie."

"What’s the catch? I gotta give up my allowance? It’s a hippie school?" I laugh at the questions as so does dad.

"No sweetie. It’s an all boys school."

"Excuse me. You said what?" I asked totally shocked.

"Well it’s the only school that’s clean and has a good education rating. All the public schools are full of crime and drugs and other things. We don’t want you to be subjected to that again," she says softly.

I look at her and see that she’s not liking the idea then I turn to dad and look at him. He just shrugs his shoulders and smirks at me. I smirk back.

"I was actually hoping you would consider going to this private school. It’s the best in the county. Alot of upper class people are there and I’m sure you’ll meet lots of friends to take the places of your other ones."

I stare at her feeling my temper raise.

"Mom I don’t understand why you can’t just leave me alone and let me decide on my own," I yell. "I can’t believe you just said that. Why do you do that? They were my friends since I came home. They’ll always be my friends." I say as I put my hands on my hips looking at dad raising an eyebrow.

He gives me a thumbs up behind moms back.

"You don’t need to take that tone of voice with me, Jacqueline, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that about your friends. Besides maybe you can use this experience for a book."

"Yeah sure the title can be called, Jack. The woman that was a guy in school. This is her pathetic life. Right??"

"Well, no, but it doesn’t matter cause your enrolled anyway and so that means your going weather you had decided to or not. Even though I hate the nickname your name will now be Jack."

"YOU DID WHAT??? You were gonna make me go weather or not I wanted too? I can’t believe that!!" I say as I storm out of the room.

Mom yells after me,

"I told them your sizes and the school is going to send over your school uniforms. You start Monday.

‘Great! This is just great, an all boys school, but what’s more is the fact that I had no choice what so ever. This means also that I have to pretend to be a guy.’ I rub my chin then laugh. ‘Not that means much. I was always doing guy things anyway even before this stupid situation.’ I sigh as I head back upstairs again. I walk into the room then for some reason look over at the clock. My black digital Cosmo clock radio with alarm seems to scream at me with it’s red numbers glaring the time which is 7:00 p.m.. I lean my head against the wall staring at the clock thinking, ‘Gods. Why does it seem so much later?’

My Hewlett Packard sits waiting on my desk begging my to come caress it’s keys once mouse with my callused finger tips. I walk over to it but before I switch it on I rub my neck thinking. As I’m thinking I hear someone walk down the hall. I walk over to the door and see that it’s my dad. I lean against the door frame and decide to ask him something before he can go into his study.

"Hey dad is their a phone line that goes to my room?"

"Yep, there is."

"Is it a separate line? Does it have Internet connection?"

"Yep and Yep. We kind of figured you’d want the net. So we had it hooked up."

"Coolness. Thanks, dad. Your the best," I say as I step out to hug him.

"Your welcome Jack, but don’t just thank me. Thank your mom. I know that she doesn’t always think about you want first, but she does love you."

"I know dad."

"Well I’m gonna do some work. I see you in the morning."

"Okay dad."

‘Well least it’s hooked up. I guess I better give mom a break. I know she does love me. Even if she forgets my feelings sometimes.’ I think as I walk back into my room and over to the computer. I look at it and think, ‘awww what the hell.’ I turn it on and log onto the net. I yawn and stretch waiting for all of my messengers to log on. As soon as my ICQ gets connected a message pops up. I roll my eyes when I see who it’s from then growl when I read it.

"Why didn't you stay with Stacy?"

"Because my mom and dad wanted me to come here, Dan, Why can't you understand that?" I type.

"Because you had/have friends here. You have me. Why would you wanna give all of that up?"

I sigh as I read what he had typed and shake my head softly.

"I wasn't something new, Dan. My friends understand that and I don't have you, cause you have Christa."

"What's wrong, Dan? Won't she give you any?" I mutter as I click the send button thinking, *If he doesn't get off my back. I am gonna tell him the truth about me.*

"I don't know what you are talking about Jack. There's nothing going on between me and Christa. Can't you see that I love you?"

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath thinking to myself, ‘ Damn this guy is annoying. I have got to cut all strings to this guy.’ So I type back.

"Dan, I don't love you and I could never love you for two very different reasons. One you cheated on me with my worst enemy..................Two......Well I am................not straight."

I stop typing then stare at what I had wrote . I rub my chin hard trying to decide if this is what I want to say to him. I shake my head softly trying to figure it out. I think some more sighing wonder if I’m telling him the truth.

I hesitate for a moment then decide that yes this is the truth. I click the left button on the mouse to send the message to him. I tap my fingers against the desk waiting for what seems to be hours for him to reply to my message. I yawn looking at the clock again. 9:05 p.m. the red numbers tell me. I finally hear the warning of incoming message play on my ICQ after 5 more minutes.

"I never cheated on you and you can't prove that I did! What do you mean you aren't straight? You finally learn how to bend?"

I roll thinking to myself, ‘five minutes for that small of a message? Is he just dumb or was he born that way?’

"Geesh your dense Dan." I roll my eyes again and think *How could I ever of let this dumb ass touch me* a shiver runs down the length of my spine.

"I think you need to learn how to bend. I am a lover of women Dan, and I know for a fact that you aren't a woman in the physical sense anyway." I grinned evilly at my put down. Then I hit the send button once again.

I watch my clock tick off the minutes again. One......three.......five.......eight.........ten minutes later comes the sound. I click on the message and almost fall out of my chair laughing.

"Now why are you insulting me? You expect me to believe that you are a Dyke? Come on really. I know for a fact that you came when we were together. So give it up there is no way I am going to believe that you are a Dyke."

My eyes narrow at the derogatory word Dyke.

My fingers angrily fly over the keys.

"You know your an ASS!!!!! You are so stuck on yourself that you can't tell when someone is faking it. No I am not a Dyke!!! I am a LESBIAN!!!!! I have known for awhile but believed that it was a phase like the every straight person tell you it is. Well it isn't a phase. Further more I am not into long distance relationships either. It doesn't matter whether it be a woman or not!! So take it and shove it up your tight little asshole!!!" I jab the mouse button to send the message.

Almost immediately I get my answer. I know he hates it when I tell him to shove things up his ass. So I’m sure I hit a very sensitive nerve. I chuckle to myself as I read his reply.

"Well I knew it all the time bitch! I mean you always trying to show up the guys. The fact you know how to fight and aren't afraid to. At least I am normal unlike you faggot!"

Oh yeah I hit a nerve or maybe two or three ‘aww hell ten.’ I think to myself. I sit in my chair chuckling to myself as I type back.

"Why can't you get over being pissed about me beating the shit out of that Mar Mac kid when he was trying to kill you? Only a stupid man would still be hung up on that."

"I am NOT! You made me look like a wuss that’s all."

"Well YOU are a WUSS!!!!! I am not gonna to fight with you any longer. I have a long day tomorrow and I don't need this crap from you! Night" I smash the mouse button once more and then log off of ICQ before he can reply back to me. All the while knowing that his reply would be there waiting for me when I log back on to ICQ.

I surf around the net looking for something to play or read. I finally find a good story online and start to read.

Hours later I get up out of my chair and stretch. Yawning I look around my room then walk over to the window over looking the meadow. I watch the water in the pound lap against the shore softly.

"Hmmmmm think I’ll go fishing tomorrow," I say to myself.

Chuckling to myself I pull of my street clothes and slip into my silk scooby boxers and muscle commando green shirt. Climbing into bed I think to myself, ‘Well look on the bright side. Things could always get worse.’ I rub my eyes a I look over at the clock. I try to focus my eyes on the time. I lean closer and see that the clock reads 1:45 am. Sighing I roll over onto my side and fall into a deep sleep.

"Jacqueline C. Steffeno!!!! GET UP NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! WE’RE GOING SHOPPING"

"Huh! What!" I awake with a start almost falling out of my bed I realize that I’m in my own room. Before I can even think about returning to my slumber my mother's voice reverberates off the walls once again.

"JACK!!! MOVE YOU BUTT OR YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FROM YOUR ARCHERY!!!"

"I am up, I am up." I shout back down the stairs. Thinking to myself the whole time. "Damn! What a vivid dream I was having." I’ve never had a dream effect me quite like that before as I pull off my wet boxers.

I grumble as I walk down the stairs pulling my T-shirt on. I yawn as I walk into the kitchen. Mom looks up at me from the paper and says, "Your not gonna wear that shopping are you?"

I look down at my baggy dirty colored jean shorts, sneakers, and light blue shirt with a dark blue bottom and dragon on it and shrug.

"Yep. Sides your the one who wants me to dress like a boy and go to an all boy school," I answer sarcastically.

Mom frowns then nods, "Fine."

I smirk at me short lived victory as I walk over to the fridge and open it. I peer into it then pull the jug of milk out and take a drink from it before my mom can see me. I look at her to see if she saw me when I see that she’s still reading the paper I put the cap back on and shove it back into the fridge. I grab some cookies from the counter and sit at the table.

"Ready to go shopping?" Mom asks still reading the paper.

"About as ready as I’ll ever be," I say munching softly on one of my cookies.

"Great then lets go," she says folding the paper up.

I groan but follow her quietly. We drive into the city in silence mostly cause I stare out the window while she drives I wonder why I can’t drive the damn car for the millionth time since my sixteenth birthday. I pull my Minnesota Vikings baseball cap over my eyes as we pull into the mall parking lot. Mom gets the car parked then gets out of the car and starts walking towards the mall, but I stay in the car grumbling about stupid malls overridden by screaming babies and other people as I slowly reach for the door handle. Mom walks back over to the car and grumpily says,

"Come on Jack."

I sigh then get out of the car pullin the baseball cap over my eyes more and shovin my hands deep into my pockets almost makin my shorts fall off my hips. I sigh softly thinking about Stacy and what we could be doing right now back in Seattle when all of a sudden I run into a person coming out of the mall. I scramble to my feet helping the person with their bags. When I look up I see my green eyes reflected in the bluest eyes I have ever seen. I gasp as a memory flashes in my mind of blue eyes looking into mine full of love.

I shake my head softly. A quiet voice ask if I’m alright. I nod softly then look at the persons face. I gasp again as I see the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life looking back at me.

I smile then nod finally finding my voice, "Yeah I’m fine. How about you?"

"Yes I’m fine thank you." She smiles at me softly.

We smile at each other till I hear my mother clear her throat.

"Oh, ummm. I’ve got to go. I’m really sorry for running into you."

"It’s quit alright. See ya around sometime."

"Yeah see ya," I say smiling as I watch her go.

Mom grabs me by the arm and pulls my into the mall.

"Mom let go will yas? Sheesh. I can walk without you holding my hand now mommy."

Mom looks at me then let go of my arm.

"Thanks," I say rubbing my arm absently.

We walk over to the cloths department then make a bee line towards the guys section. My mom started throwing socks and underwear into the cart. When I saw the underwear I was like, ‘damn she’s more determined to turn me into a guy then I was when I was younger.’ I chuckle silently at that thought.

"Whoa mom. Why underwear? Their not gonna see under my pants ya know."

"Just precaution honey. You never know," she answers still looking at socks.

I groan then shake my head softly, ‘Okay damn it. I know I’m butch but Jesus H Christ I am not THAT butch.’

Hours later I yawn still trying on cloths that my mother throws at me. Finally I get tired of it and go find cloths I like. After about 30 minutes I’ve picked out shirts and some pants as well as shorts and an awesome brown leather bomber jacket. We walk over to the shoe store and try on fifty thousand pairs of shoes before deciding on my first choice. I groan and think to myself ‘she wants the best for me and yet I pick out Docs which are thee best and she wont let me have’em till ninety pairs later. ARRRG.’ I swear we spend three hours in the mall before we finally get everything my mother swears up and down that I need. On our way to the check out counter of the tenth store I grab a couple baseball caps and toss them into the cart without saying a word till my mom looks at me.

I smirk and answer her, "Precaution."

Mom shakes her head then starts to shovel the rest of our stuff on to the counter. The catch to this whole shopping spree was I got to carry the bags to and from the car which I simply loved to death. When we walk into the door dad told me that there was a package on the table for me. I nod then go and retrieve the package. When I open it I see that it’s my uniform and a letter men jacket which I have to admit was pretty cool looking. I groan then look at my parents. "Great," I say. "My uniform. I'm going to take this up to my room."

I pick up the box and haul it upstairs. Once inside of my room I toss the box into the over stuffed chair. I flop into the desk chair with a groan. I look at the box and it’s reminder that I have no say in where I’m going to school at and the fact that I’m going to be a different gender on Monday I groan again. I push myself up and out of the chair I grab my recurve and quiver before trotting out of my room then stopping at the stairs I look to see if mom is anywhere knew the steps. When I see that she’s not I hop on the railing and slide down it. Chuckling I race out of the house and to the shed. Grabbing my targets I tar off towards the pasture and set them up.

After I get them all set up I turn my hat around and take my arches stance. I pull the bow back towards my chin. I site the bulls eye and let go of the string. I hear a satisfying twang as I watch the arrow fly through the air only to hit the target a few inches from the bullseye. I grin to myself then I notch another arrow and draw it back siting it then letting it go. I do that for a while before I start to feel the pulling in my left arm from pulling the arrows back so many times.

I notice that my dad is standing a couple feet from my right. He nods then walks over to me.

"Your gettin better Jack."

"Thanks, dad."

"Your welcome, Jack. Listen hon. I know that this is gonna be hard for you, but just remember that it doesn’t matter who the people see on the outside, but it’s the person on the inside that matters the most."

"I know dad. It’s just kinda hard. You know?"

I sigh leaning against my bow.

"I know it is, Jack. I know it is."

He walks over to me and hugs me tightly.

"Thanks dad."

"Your welcome. Now come on. Stacy is on the phone."

"Really?!?!?!" I exclaim taking off with the bow against my side.

I run through the door not caring if the door slams or not. I spot the phone on the counter and I jump up on to then counter all in one swift motion grabbing the phone as I land on the counter. I grin at myself then snicker as I hear my mother having a fit in the other room.

"Hello?" I ask panting.

"Hello, Jack?"

"Stacy! How did you get my phone number already?"

"Your mom wrote my mom and I didn't know mom had your phone number until today after I got home."

"Sorry, I didn't call you. I had to get a haircut and go shopping for some new clothes."

"Why?"

So I tell her everything that’s going on.

"Whoa, that sounds pretty heavy."

"Your telling me. I can't tell anyone who I really am and I can't be myself."

"Hey at least you get to go to a school full of boys."

"Uhhh well actually I wanted to talk to you about that, Stace."

"Talk about what Jack?"

"Well I don’t really know how to put this lightly but ummm," I rub the back of my neck trying to figure out how to tell my best friend. "Well I guess I’m gonna be blunt and say that well I’m gay, Stace."

I gulp softly waiting for Stacy to say something, but all I hear on the other end is silence.

"I don’t believe you. I mean. What about Dan?"

"What about him? There’s nothing. Nada zip zilch. It’s like kissing a piece of bread."

"So your serious about this aren’t you, Jack?"

"Yeah Stacy I’m serious about this. It’s who I am."

I hear a sigh on the other end of the phone. I sigh as well staring at the floor.

"I’m sorry, Jack, but I can’t be friends with someone like you."

I take the phone away from ear and stare at it for a min before putting it back against my ear.

"Excuse me? Did I just hear you right? Did you just say you can’t be friends with someone like me? Gods Stacy we’ve been friends since the first grade. We did everything together as kids. Hell we even had a double wedding when we were in first grade and now your telling me that you can’t be friends with someone like me? You’ve been friends with someone like me for the past 3 years since I found out, Stacy," I say angrily into the phone.

I rub my forehead trying not to cry. I lean my head back against the kitchen cupboards thinking about my childhood with Stacy and our pact as kids and becoming blood sisters as we wait for the bus back in grade school. I so want to cry. I want to yell at her for hurting me this badly but I know deep down I can’t do it. Even if she can’t except who I am. To me she will always be my best friend. My sister.

"I’m sorry, Jack, but I can’t. What will everyone think?"

"Fine, Stacy. See you around. Have a nice life. Whatever. I can’t be friends with someone as closed minded and bigoted at you."

"Good-bye, Jack."

"Yeah bye," I choke out hanging up the phone.

I stare at my hands for a while then lean my head back against the cupboards crying softly I stare up at the ceiling thinking to myself, ‘good going, Jack. Now you don’t have anyone in your life. Guess your gonna be alone for the rest of your life aren’tcha’s? Oh well. I should be used to it by now.’ I slide off the counter leaving my bow there I walk back out the door. I stare at my feet as I trudge back to the targets. I see that my dad is standing there shooting as well. I stop once I get to his side.

"So how was your talk with, Stacy?" Dad asks as he releases an arrow.

I scuff my shoe against the dirt watching his arrow hit the nine ring.

"Not to good dad."

"How come? Did you two get into a fight?"

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?"

I sigh rubbing the back of my neck thinking, ‘might as well tell dad. He’ll probably flip, but I need someone to talk to.’ I look up and see that dads looking at me.

"Oh hon. Was it that bad of a fight?" He asks when he sees my tear streak cheeks.

"Yeah dad," I say sniffing. "She can’t except who I am."

Dad nods then asks the question I don’t want to answer. "What can’t she except about you Jack?"

"She can’t except that I’m gay dad," I mumble softly not looking at dads face.

"I see. Oh hon I’m sure she’ll come around. You two have been friends since the second grade. It’s just probably a shock to her."

I look up at my dad shocked as hell then start stuttering, "E..e..e..excuse m..m..m..me?"

"Oh Jack," he chuckles. "I’ve known for sometime and I believe so has your mother. That’s why she tries to get you into that girlie stuff."

I just stare at him with my mouth wide open.

"You might wanna close your mouth before flies get in there," he chuckles deeply.

I close my mouth with a click then hug my dad tightly. "Oh dad. You don’t know how afraid I was that you wouldn’t love me for because of who I am."

"Oh Jack, it’s alright, hon. I’m not gonna stop loving you because you fall in love with the same sex. Actually that saves me from worrying about your boyfriends and weather or not your using protection and that your not pregnant," he laughs.

I laugh with him totally relieved that my dad excepts me.

Dad puts his arm around my shoulders softly, "Come on. Lets put these away and go play some pool."

"Your on," I say with a grin as I help him take the targets to the shed.

We walk over to the shed in silence. I smile as I look up at the sky watching clouds drift through the sky. Feeling light now that some weight has been lifted from my shoulders I chuckle to myself. I take my eyes away from the sky when I hear a horse whining from the corral.

I look over at the corral then stop dead in my tracks. Riding a chestnut colored horse is the woman I say from the mall. I watch as she rides the horse around the corral then stops it and hops down to rub the horses muzzle she then leads the horse to the stables. I gulp as I tilt my head and watch her walk over to the stables. I shake my head when I hear my dad yell my name.

I trot over to the shed then look at my dad. I notice that he’s smirking. I roll my eyes the duck into the shed when I come out he nudges me and says,

"May you should take up horse back riding."

I look at dad then slug him on the shoulder.

"I don’t think so," I laugh.

"Come on. Lets go play some pool. Ten bucks says that I can beat you."

I grin then nod. "Your on, old man."

I laugh at the mock hurt look on my dad’s face.

"Jack I’m hurt. Really I am," he chuckles then leads the way to the house.

I look over my shoulder, but I don’t see the woman anywhere. I shrug my shoulders then follow dad into the house and up to the third floor.