CHARACTER DISCLAIMER:
The characters herein are mine. Any resemblance to real or fictional people is strictly part of your imagination. Some places in the story are real and some are fictional.
LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER:
This story depicts an explicit love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.
Author's note: I want to thank my Beta reader Kate. She is truly amazing and has lots of patience. <g> And thank you to all the characters in this story, you know who you are.
Designs of the Heart
I had it all: the girl, the home and even the water bugs. What the heck went wrong? Why is my life, right now, without any of those things? Why, after all this time, do I still desire those things with that same special someone? Does my heart have a mind of its own? Must we come to terms with our true inner feelings and ourselves before we can find peace within or with anyone else? Is this God’s way of telling us, “You had it and fucked it up, now pay the consequences?” Does life just simply go on without true happiness, or do we get a second chance to make it right? Do we get a second chance with the same person or does it need to be someone new? Do we merrily set our own destiny in life or do we let others set it for us? Why don’t we know a good thing when we have it, but we know when it is gone? Can’t we be given a clue like ‘this is it, don’t mess it up’? We are all God’s children; doesn’t He want us happy? Being gay sure does create havoc in this life.
My heart has not healed, even after all this time. It has created its own test for me. It wants one person to love, and it is being very picky about whom this one person is. I think each one of us has ‘Designs of the Heart’.
On the way home from work Jack thought about how her life was going. Desi was a little distant. She wondered if maybe Desi was having an affair. Jack knew she deserved it after all she put that poor girl through. The thought of someone else touching, holding, satisfying Desi just made her skin crawl. She would have to find out, tonight.
Walking up the steps to her fairly new apartment that she shared with her gorgeous girlfriend, Jack contemplated ways of asking Desi what was going on. She didn’t want to come out and accuse her of anything. I mean, aren’t we all innocent until proven guilty?
“Hey babe, I’m home,” announced Jack as she unlocked the front door. Silence seemed to fill the air.
Desi might not be home from work yet. Third time this week she’s worked late. Hmmm, I guess this is a better time than any to snoop around a little and find out what is going on.
Jack went snooping through a box of Desi’s that was opened but not fully unpacked. Not too far down she found Desi’s journal. Should I read it? Don’t I just trust her? Put it back, Jack. Breaking the bonds of trust is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. No, no, no!!! Jack fought with herself for a few minutes before she actually opened the journal and started reading:
Aug.. 13, 1989 –I met the most wonderful woman in the world. Her name is Jacqueline, but likes to be called Jack. She is so strong, sexy and smart all at the same time. And the best part about it is that she in interested in ME!!
Reading that passage made Jack feel so warm and fuzzy inside. She didn’t want to sit there and read it day by day so she skimmed through the next few months.
December 20, 1989 –Jack and I got engaged. I don’t know if saying yes was the right thing to do. She is still so hung up on that Joe person. I love her dearly but I don’t feel ‘forever’ in my heart. It hurts me deeply to feel this way but Jack is not trying. She must think I am stupid or something. I do love her, but can we build a future on that?
After reading that, Jack didn’t want to read anymore, but she knew she had to. She had a really bad feeling about this.
April 27, 1989 – Jack and I moved in together. Besides the actual move being a day from hell, everything is quiet on the home front. I started this new job at the local Animal Hospital. I love it!! My boss is adorable to boot. What an ass on her. She is so responsible, and aggressive, and that makes her even hotter than I think she already is. Of course she doesn’t ‘know’ about me, but heck, it seems like she flirts with me all the time. Maybe it’s just my imagination taking over, but damn, I don’t think I would throw her out of my bed.
Jack’s blood pressure starting rising. What an ass on her?? She wouldn’t throw her out of bed? No wonder she loves going to work!! Jack didn’t know what to think. Was Desi making plans to be with someone else? She had to keep this deception a secret. If Desi ever found out that I went through her journal, she would kill me for sure. But how can I keep this to myself? This secret will eat me alive. Do I deserve this? Unbelievable!!!
Hearing her lover at the door, Jack quickly placed the journal back exactly how she found it. She ran into the bathroom to throw some cold water on her face.
Deciding against greeting her girlfriend at the door, Jack went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Stay calm, cool and collected. Don’t give it away. It could all be an innocent crush. NOT!!
“Boy, am I pooped,” announced Desi.
“Long day at work?” asked Jack.
“Yeah, so many sick animals today. Some cases were just so sad. You’re lucky I haven’t come home with a bunch of puppies yet.”
“Yeah, lucky, I guess. Maybe your boss could take them home, and then you can go to her house and visit them,” Jack said sarcastically.
“Hey, how do you know my boss is a she?” Desi asked curiously.
“Lucky guess?”
“Hmpt..ok.”
Desi felt something was up. What, she wasn’t sure. Instead of pursuing the subject, Desi decided it let it go. There was so much ‘thick air’ between them, she didn’t want to make matters worse. “You take the good with the bad,” she was always taught.
“Well, I am going to jump into the shower since I probably stink like a zoo. Why don’t you grab a menu and we will order some dinner?” suggested Desi.
“Ok, fine.”
Deciding to possibly spice things up, Jack went to the living room and picked out one of their favorite songs. Placing the 45 on the phonograph, Jack raced to the bathroom door to surprise her beautiful babe with a romantic dance.
This hot water feels so good on my shoulders. I wonder what’s up with Jack. She seemed so taken in with something. And of course she won’t tell me, she just doesn’t like to talk about those things. Well, I won’t let that ruin my great day at work. Janet is such a flirt. I know she is not a lesbian, nor does she know about me, but damn, the woman is HOT!! She touches me, and is all over me all the time. I know it is in an innocent way, or should I say a straight way, but I can’t help getting wet between the legs. Of course I will never let on that this is happening, Jack is way too jealous to understand stuff like this. Stepping out of the shower, Desi heard Lionel Ritchie’s “Endless Love” playing. The green-eyed beauty grabbed a towel, wrapped it around herself and opened the bathroom door….
Scooping Desi up when she opened the door, Jack danced her girlfriend into the living room.
“….. You’re every step I make…my love, my endless love.” Sang Jack into her babe’s ear. “I love you, Desiree Jamenson.”
“You are so romantic when you want to be, Ms. Moore.”
“Soon to be Moore-Jamenson?” questioned Jack.
“That’s the plan, Jack, that’s the plan.”
Desi lightly kissed her lover’s neck. She knew that always was the start of a very sexual evening. A sexual evening she was definitely game for. She worked her way up to her baby’s ear, where she started to nibble. The groaning began….
Jack lifted her girlfriend up by her ass and backed her up against the wall. Seeing that all she had on was a towel made access very easy. Jack scrunched down enough to place Desi’s legs on each of her shoulders. Still holding her up by her ass, there was a perfect view of PS, wet and ready. Breathing heavy into the neatly trimmed bush, Jack teased, “ Hello there, what can I take you for?”
“Oh, take me for a ride, PLEASE” begged Desi.
Inching a little lower, breathing in the fresh, sweet aroma of her girlfriend’s juices, Jack could see how swollen and willing her bitch really was. Licking around her clit, Jack began to drive Desi nuts.
“Fuck me…please! Jack, please fuck me!!”
“How about you do yourself and I watch? Touch yourself for me. Give me something to look at.”
With the command, Desi slid her own hand down to her private area. Jack wants a show, that’s what she will get. Running her finger around her wet opening, she placed one finger inside.
“Ohh baby, that’s it. That’s what I like to see,” swooned Jack.
Riding her own finger, Desi was dripping wet. It was getting harder for her to keep her balance on her lover’s shoulders. “If you take me into the bedroom I promise to give you the show of a life time.”
“Now that’s a promise I won’t let you break,” said Jack as she slowly lowered her girlfriend. Following her into the bedroom…Jack’s previous problem totally left her mind…Temporarily.
Nightmares woke Jack in the middle of the night. She was having visions of Desi in bed with her boss. Oh my god, it seemed so real. I came home from work, and there in ‘our’ bed was ‘my’ partner with her really hot manager. How could she do this to me? Ok, maybe I haven’t been the best girlfriend in the world, but still, to cheat me on me like that? Get a grip! It was only a nightmare. Jack attempted to go back to sleep, but couldn’t. She tossed and turned, waking up her peacefully sleeping partner.
“What’s the matter, honey?” asked the green-eyed beauty.
“Just had a bad dream is all.”
“You look all distraught. What was the dream about?”
Not wanting to get into an argument at 3am, Jack lied, “I really don’t remember too well.”
Desi felt her partner was hiding something. I wonder what could be bothering her so badly that it would keep her from sleeping. Well, if she is not ready to talk about it, I guess I shouldn’t push her. Desi pulled Jack closer and whispered, “I bet I can think of something to get your mind off of things…”
Not feeling all that sexual, Jack pushed Desi away.
Jack just couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. “I am not in the mood.”
“Ok, that’s it! What’s bothering you? If you are not in the mood for sex then I know it is something bad. I also sensed it earlier today when I came home. So just spit it out. Speak your mind.”
“I don’t think you will want to hear it.”
“Let me make that decision, will ya?” said the agitated girlfriend.
“Ok, you asked for it. Do you want to tell me how long you have been screwing your boss?” asked Jack.
Taken aback by this, Desi didn’t know what to say. She must of read my journal, invaded my privacy. How dare she!! All she managed to say was, “How could you?”
Pulling off the blanket, Jack stepped out of bed. “How could I what? Read your journal? Yes, I read it…why?? Well maybe if I felt that your mind was with me instead of with ‘her’ I wouldn’t have had to read it. You know exactly what I am talking about, so don’t play stupid with me.”
Desi was dumbfounded. “How dare you, accuse ME, of cheating on YOU! During our entire relationship all you’ve done is drool over your ex, send her cards, run to the club when you knew she would be there. Jacqueline Moore, you have some pair of balls on you!!”
“On the contrary my dear, my so called balls are in the drawer, right here next to the bed. And if you are so innocent then tell me why you are so defensive?” asked Jack..
“Defensive? How could you? You are accusing me of the very thing I know you have been doing all along. CHEATING!!! It just sickens me.”
“How many times do I have to tell you, I have not cheated on you? I swear. I have flirted, yes, I am human you know. But these lips have never touched another’s,” swore the dark haired woman.
“So I should believe you, but you won’t believe me? How fair is that? Anyway, I am tired. I need to sleep on this. I need to go over in my head what just happened.”
“Fine!” agreed Jack and jumped back into bed.
Both women lay back to back, wondering if the other was a cheater. Wondering if... if they will make it through this…another obstacle…brought into their already complex relationship.