DISCLAIMER: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle and Argo remain the property of MCA/Renaissance Pictures and Studios USA. No copyright infringement is intended and this is a non-profit story. (Damn!)
PLEASE NOTE: This story is the 1st in a series of 5… the stories which follow are: The Weekend Visitor; That Scroll; Wasted Moments and The Fallout.
WARNING: This story depicts love (very deep) and friendship (that can never be broken) between two women. If you don’t want to read about this sort of relationship, or for some silly reason it’s illegal where you live, then you should boycott this story. I am very sorry for you because real love - between any two people should be celebrated and chronicled.
I want to thank my beloved, who helped with the editing on this wee story. Thanks babe. All comments and suggestions are welcome and I promise I’ll write back! Write to Heartstarter at: ripley@corplink.com.au
PART
I:
THE BEGINNING
She can see I’m retreating into myself. I can’t stop it. The
town is beginning to become oppressive. I yearn to be away from the buildings
that are threatening to devour my soul and drive me insane. I don’t want
to be anywhere particular – just not here. Not here where I can’t
think properly.
I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation they were having at dinner. I was too lost in my own thoughts. Occasionally she would touch my arm or ask me something. I tried to answer in a sociable way, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I long to be at the beach, watching the waves roll in, letting my thoughts go where they want. My thoughts are too jaded here. They’re tired and I can’t express them properly. I long to be out in the fields or off the beaten track, sitting on a rock or against a tree with nothing but space around me and just her there with me. Anywhere I can just think about whatever I want and it won’t seem rude. I long to just sit and think. To tell a story. To be.
Everyone is getting up from the table, our guests are leaving. Xena says we’ll ride with them to the turn off. Now we’re outside, they saddle up their horse and Xena gets onto Argo. She holds her hand out for me to join her. I start to say no, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she wants me up there. I take her hand and sit behind her. This is unconventional – I never ride with her unless we’re in danger or I’m sick, so she must sense that something is chewing at me. They don’t stop their conversation and still I don’t join in. I lay my head on Xena’s strong shoulder and put my arms around her waist. There is a slight breeze so I let my hand open up to it, it caresses my fingers and starts to soothe my soul. I look back towards our room at the Inn, the distant sounds of other guests’ laughter and merriment follows us. Why do I feel like this about the town now? Last night when we’d finally arrived it had felt like such an exciting place. Full of fun and laughter, challenges and promise (a promise of a real bed to sleep in!). Today though, it seems depressing and suffocating.
Xena’s voice echoes through her back and into my ears. I tune into what she’s saying, it’s directions for the next part of our guests’ journey. They’re going to visit someone they and Xena knew from times when I hadn’t known Xena or this life. Xena puts her hand over mine and squeezes it. I squeeze hers back. Just knowing that she is here with me makes me feel safe. She is my light, my hope, my inspiration. What will I do when we part company? It’s a thought I can hardly bear to think and as I do a sharp, deep ache forms around my heart. I reposition my head on her shoulder and close my eyes.
Xena and
I have known each other for quite a while, but it’s only recently that
we’ve become lovers. It wasn’t anything we’d planned or even
really talked about. It just happened and when it did we were both surprised
by its’ arrival and intensity. That’s not to say that I hadn’t
thought about it… but it was more subconsciously thinking about it, rather
than fantasising or dreaming about it. When we met it was never something
that I expected or yearned for. But over time I have fallen in love with her
and the night that we faced our love was so special because I finally knew
how she felt about me…
*** 4 moons earlier…***
The night was hot, even out in the forest. Xena had been asleep pretty
much since the sun went down but I just couldn’t get comfortable. She
was lying so close to me that I could feel her breath on the back of my neck.
I was restless and the ground was unforgiving as I tried to find the ‘right
spot’. Xena put her arm over me, trying to help I suppose, so I guessed
she wasn’t heavily asleep. I got up and walked over to the stream. I
dipped my hand in and was surprised by its’ coldness. I heard Xena moving
around behind me. I turned and saw she was now propped up on her right elbow,
staring at me.
"What’s wrong?" She asked. I took my time to answer and
when I did it was very quietly.
"I want
more." I said.
"More? More what? More excitement? More travelling? More adventure? More
what?" I walked back over to our beds and sat down next to her.
"More love." Xena took my hand and pulled me close. She placed
my hand on her heart and said,
"All the love I have in here is for you. You’re the one who showed
me that it’s okay to feel love and to express it." I couldn’t
say anything. I felt a sudden ache in my gut and such adoration and love for
this woman, my best friend, basically my only friend these days. I lay down
next to her, leaving my hand on her heart. I was spellbound by the look in
her eyes, it wasn’t anything I knew so I let her speak.
"Gabrielle, you are the reason I get up in the morning – to see
you, to feel your strength. You have saved me from becoming someone I wasn’t
meant to be. When we sit together at night I can hardly wait to hear you tell
me a story. You have this gift that I don’t know how to describe, but
it engulfs my whole being and takes me somewhere I never thought I’d
be. You are so beautiful and I love you very much and I’ve wanted to
tell you that for such a long time." I lay very still, not knowing
how to respond. All I could murmur was: "Thank you…" I tried
to go on, but she put a finger up to my mouth and said,
"Please. Don’t say anything." Then she leant down and kissed
me. It was the softest kiss I’d ever felt. It didn’t last long and
I wasn’t sure if I’d dreamt it.
"I love you." Xena whispered.
"I love you too." I replied. This time I kissed her. It was a
risk, but I felt this immense. Ache for her body, her power and her passion,
I needed to know how she felt. So I kissed her long and sweet. She didn’t
pull away, in fact she kissed me back. When we stopped kissing I looked at
her, deep into her eyes. She said,
"I need you. I want you. But I won’t make you do anything you don’t
want to." I looked her straight in the eye and slowly said,
"I just want you."
"You’ve got me." She replied. She kissed me again and her
hand went from near my mouth down my neck. She gently stroked it and gradually
got lower. Her hand brushed my breast and I moved closer to her, putting my
right leg between her thighs. She started undoing my shirt. My hand was still
over her heart so I gently started to caress her breast. Her nipple became
hard and she stopped kissing me, she looked at me for a moment and said,
"Are you sure?"
"I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I promise…
Are you?" I replied.
"Yes. Oh yes..."
******
At the fork in the road we say goodbye to the others. I pull myself closer
and wrap my hands tighter around Xena’s waist, letting the smell of her
intoxicate me. Xena turns Argo around and we go back towards the Inn. When
we arrive Xena helps me off Argo and looks at me with her piercing eyes. Those
eyes. Those eyes that can look deep inside my soul and heal me. Those eyes
that can stop me in my tracks… Turn me on… Those eyes that are part
of that face, that person, that soul, that often mirrors my own. I know I
should apologise for being stand-offish, they are, after all, her friends.
But I can’t seem to find the words. I am suddenly hot, so I walk over
to the well, pulling the bucket up and splash the cool water on my face. I
want to tell her how I feel, but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. She
puts Argo in the barn beside our room and walks over to me. She puts her hand
on my shoulder and says,
"I know. I feel it too." I am so relieved and I put my hand on
hers. I lay my head back on her shoulder and close my eyes. She wraps her
arms around my waist and kisses my neck very gently. She’s so powerful.
So intoxicating. So tender. We’re silent for a long time then she whispers,
"Let’s go inside."
*****
Xena lays down on the bed and pats the spot beside her. I keep brushing
my hair, pretending not to notice.
"Okay Gabrielle. What are you thinking?" She asks.
"Nothing." I reply.
"Uh-huh. You want to be more specific than that?"
"No."
"What’s this? You lost for words?" Xena flashes a cheeky
grin at me, but I’m not in the mood to bite tonight. She tries again.
"Come on… You know you want to talk… it’s what you’re
good at…"
"Flattery will get you nowhere Xena… You know what it’s about
anyway." I say tiredly.
"Gabrielle, it’s going to be fine…" I glance over at
her, she’s still smiling.
"So, what do you think of my friends? They’ve got some stories haven’t
they? Don’t you just love the one about…."
"Stop it Xena! How can you ignore this? How can you even think of having
fun when this is between us?"
"What? I can’t even have fun now? Well I’m sorry Gabrielle
but you’re not going to make me feel guilty about this. It’s the
way it has to be and that’s all there is to it. End of story!" I
slam the brush down on the small wooden table in front of me and get up angrily.
"You’re really not going to talk about this are you? Don’t
you care that we may never see each other again? Or that you might be killed
and I wouldn’t know and then I would miss your funeral or…"
"Gabrielle! Breathe! Slow down!" Xena yells. I stop, take a deep
breath and concentrate on a thread that’s hanging off my skirt. Xena
comes over to me and puts her hands on my shoulders. I concentrate even harder
on the thread as she says,
"We will talk about this, I promise. But I just don’t want to think
about having to say goodbye to you. You have changed my life so much and I
can’t comprehend how it’s going to be without you by my side. But
at the same time, I know that it’s time for you to move on, to follow
your dreams, to become the best you can. And that’s why I won’t
stop you going to Athens and the Academy."
"But what if that’s not really my destiny? What if I’m really
meant to be with you?"
"Well… you’ll know."
"How?"
"You just will. The Fates will show us both. Trust them. They’ve
got a plan for us all."
"But Xena… I love you. I’m going to miss you so much. You’ve
changed my life. You’re my everything and it hurts so much to think about
leaving you. What if I’m not strong enough to do it?"
"Gabrielle, you often doubt your inner strength. But it’s there.
I’ve seen it and it will carry you through." Xena leans down
and kisses my forehead.
"But…"
"It will. I promise…"
PART II:
THE INN - MORNING
"Morning lover." Xena’s voice echoes through my dreams.
I open my eyes and look around. Where am I again? Oh that’s right, the
town, the inn. My eyes focus on Xena. I smile and stretch. She rolls over
onto me and runs her hands up my arms, effectively pinning me to the bed.
She puts her hands in mine and kisses me.
"Hi." I say.
"You wanna play for a little while?" She asks.
"Maybe!" I reply, flashing Xena a cheeky smile.
"Playing hard to get?"
"Who? Me? Never!"
"I would hope not." She says. She kisses me again, then moves
down my neck planting soft, seductive kisses everywhere. My body begins to
respond almost immediately and Xena plays it for everything it’s worth!
She stops kissing me and moves down to my chest, I can feel her breath against
my skin and it sends goose bumps down my spine. My breathing becomes faster,
I close my eyes as she starts to suck my nipple through my nightshirt. She
runs her tongue over it until it’s hard and I arch my back up. Xena stops,
giving a wicked laugh and moves back up to kiss my lips.
"Oh Xena… please..." I whisper.
"Well, well, I didn’t think you were in the mood!"
"I… ah... changed my mind…" She lets my hands go so
I take her face in my right hand and kiss her. Then I push her off me and
onto her back. I lay over her and run my index finger from her cheek to her
belly button, effectively undoing the lace bow of her nightshirt. Her skin
becomes goose bumpy and a shudder runs through her. She grabs my buttocks
and pulls me closer, but I say,
"Uh-ah. It’s my turn to play."
"But I woke up turned on!" Xena complains.
"Too bad. This is my treat! I can take as long as I want!" I
tease.
"Okay." She says reluctantly. I kiss her lips and remove her
hands from my buttocks. Then very slowly I slide down her body planting soft
kisses up and down her stomach and chest. More shudders affect her body and
I know it won’t take long for her to get there, but I want to have some
fun! I slowly go lower as Xena whispers,
"Yes… oh yes…" But instead of kissing her most intimate
spot, I keep going down to her thigh. I softly bite and kiss the top of her
thigh. A growl escapes from Xena’s mouth, so I bite harder. She shudders
again and reaches down to run her hand through my hair. I’m getting pretty
excited myself so I pull myself back on top of her. I kiss Xena and begin
to lift her nightshirt up. She helps me take it off and I take mine off. I’m
now sitting on top of her. She looks at me and says,
"I guess you’re ready now huh?"
"Oh yeah." I reply. She takes a long look at me and says,
"I love every inch of your body… and I love that it’s all mine!"
"Do you now?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well that’s very nice to know." I bend down and kiss her.
"Any favourite parts?" I ask between kisses.
"Mmm. Nope. It’s all just… Mmm.…" She runs her
hands down my arms and pulls me the rest of the way down on to herself. She
keeps kissing me as her hand travels lower…
*****
"Okay. So let’s talk." Xena says, getting up from the bed
to put her leathers on.
"Are you serious?" I ask, not believing what I’m hearing.
"Yes."
"Okay… where do you want to start?" I say slowly.
"Is there really a start? I think I’ll just say something and see
where that takes us." Xena draws in a big breath and starts.
"Well… I understand you wanting to be a bard and as hard as it is
for me to say this, I have to. This is something that you need to do. It’s
your destiny. You don’t need to be with me to find strength. You need
to go and make a name for yourself as a storyteller, a bard, as ‘Gabrielle:
Bard of Poteidaia’. You were so young when we first met and over that
time I’ve watched you change and mature. You’re so different now,
not that that’s a bad thing… it’s just that I’ve really
noticed it lately and when you said you wanted to go to Athens, I just knew
that it was the right choice…"
"But…" I start. Xena holds up her hand.
"Let me finish. Believe me when I tell you that now is the time to work
towards what you want to do – while you’re young. Sometimes goals
and dreams take longer to achieve than we thought they would, so it’s
important to go for them as soon as you recognise them. A year ago you wouldn’t
have been ready. But now… well... now you are, and it was your decision,
not mine. That’s so important."
"So what you’re saying is that you’ve been thinking of telling
me to leave for a while now. Leave the exciting, loving life I have with you
and become a lonely bard… and you still get to do all the fun stuff?"
I ask impatiently.
"No. Well, yes. Sort of. You know what I mean. I don’t always enjoy
what I do and now there will probably be more times when I don’t like
it because you’re not there with me. But don’t ever think I’m
telling you to go because I want to get rid of you. It’s because you
should go."
"Right. Got someone else lined up to take my place too I suppose?"
I say selfishly.
"Gabrielle…" Xena says, walking back over to the bed. She
sits down and takes my hand.
"There’s no-one else. There could never be anyone else. You hold
my heart. Always have, always will."
"Sure. What about before I was here, you were with heaps of people then,
how can you be so sure that you won’t get it on with everyone again?"
I take my hand from hers.
"It’s true that I’ve been with others, but I didn’t love
them. They were just people. I experienced things with other people so I could
be good for you. I always knew I was practising for someone very special!"
Xena smiles and touches my cheek, I turn away and she lets her hand fall
back beside her.
"Yeah, good line Xena, maybe you should be the one going to Athens."
Xena takes my chin in her hand and turns my face to look at her.
"Don’t do this Gabrielle. It’s not who you are. You know that
this decision is the right one to be making."
"Well you would say that." I say, removing her hand.
"Fine. I’m not going to fight with you about this. I’m going
down to feed Argo." Xena says. She gets up and leaves the room. I
want to run after her, to tell her I’m sorry. But I can’t move.
I don’t know how to deal with this… and her wanting to talk about
it… what was that all about? I lay down on the bed and close my eyes,
begging sleep to come so I won’t have to think about this anymore.
*****
"How much further is it?" I asked Xena. We’ve been travelling
all morning and my feet are killing me. Xena is riding Argo and I – as
usual – am walking.
"Not much further, there’s a large camping site not far from here.
We’ll spend the night there and we should arrive in Athens about this
time tomorrow."
"Why don’t we just keep going today?" I ask.
"Because I don’t wa-… because we’re just not." Xena
stumbles. I look up at her. Are those tears forming in her eyes? I look back
at the road again, I’ve been tricking myself into not thinking about
our goodbye all morning by seeing how many different trees I can name (about
10 all up). Xena has been quiet too, neither of us really know what to say
after the small fight we had last night.
"Would you like to ride up here with me for a bit?" Xena asks
suddenly.
"Um… sure." I reply, surprised. Xena moves to the back of
Argo and lets me sit in front. She’s becoming more and more puzzling
by the day.
"Are you comfortable?" She asks.
"Yes. You?"
"Mmm-hmm." She puts her arms around my waist, holding me tightly.
I hold onto Argo’s reins as she lays her head on my shoulder, humming
softly to herself. I can feel how tense she is. What’s wrong Xena? You
can tell me.
"Nothing. I just want to feel your body." She replies. Gods!
Did I say that out loud? I hate it when I do that…
"Is that why you want to camp out tonight? So you can feel my body?"
I ask, half-serious, half-seductively.
"Maybe. You realise that tonight will be the last night we’re together
for a long time… maybe forever."
"Don’t say forever Xena it’s too long… and what about
when we get to Athens tomorrow? Won’t you stay just one night with me?"
"I can’t Gabrielle." Xena takes her head from my shoulder
and looks away. I make Argo stop and turn around to look at Xena. Her arms
are still around my waist, but not as tightly now.
"Can’t or won’t?" I ask evenly.
"Can’t." She replies.
"Why?"
"Gabrielle please. Just leave it." She goes to get off Argo but
I grab her arm.
"Answer me Xena."
"No. One day maybe, but not now." I take my hand from her arm
and say,
"No, don’t get off. I will." I jump off Argo as Xena says,
"Gabrielle. Don’t get defensive. It’s not you, it’s me."
"Yeah, that’s original." I mutter under my breath. Xena
either doesn’t hear or chooses to ignore my comment, she moves back to
her original position on Argo and we continue towards the camping spot.
*****
"Okay, let’s set up here." Xena says. It’s the first
time she’s said anything for hours and it snaps me out of my daydream.
We set up camp and I look for firewood while Xena gets Argo settled. I find
quite a lot of good dry wood and make a fire. Xena mutters something about
going to kill something and leaves the clearing. The fire has caught nicely
so I set up our beds. I lay them beside each other, as always. Wondering if
we’ll make love tonight or ever again for that matter. Xena has seemed
so distant the last few hours and I contemplate separating the beds altogether.
But then again, I don’t want to seem presumptuous, maybe she’ll
take it the wrong way and our last night together will be ruined. What should
I do? I leave them side by side for now and go back to play with the fire.
I’m still poking at it when Xena returns.
"I got us some pheasant." She says.
"Hmm… what?" I ask, startled.
"I said, I found some pheasants."
"Oh, great. Would you like me to start cooking them now?"
"Yeah, I’m starving." Xena replies. Neither of us say anything
while the pheasants cook or when we’re eating. We are sitting so close,
yet feeling so far away. If only I could find the right words to say all the
things inside of me.
"I’m going for a walk." Xena says almost as soon as she’s
finished her dinner.
"Where?" I ask, surprised. Does she really want to be away from
me that much already?
"I don’t know yet."
"Would you like some company?"
"No!" Xena shouts. Her face softens when she sees the surprised
look on my face, she smiles, kisses me on the forehead and says,
"I mean, thanks for offering, but I just want to be alone"
"Okay. Well, I’ll be here."
"Good. See you soon."
"Yeah, bye."
*****
There it is again. What is that sound? Surely it isn’t Xena…
But then again she has been gone for an awfully long time… what if something’s
happened to her? Maybe if I stand up I’ll be able to see what it is.
Should I get dressed? No. I’ll take a look first, then decide. I stand
and narrow my eyes. I can just make out Xena’s familiar shape through
the trees. She seems to be fine so I lay down again in the bed. Do I really
want to talk to her? All we seemed to do today was fight, that or not talk
at all. I know it was my fault earlier – at least for some of it, but
she can be so frustrating sometimes! I don’t want to hurt her, but I
also want to know where we stand. Maybe tomorrow on the road will be a good
time to bring that up. But by then it will be too late, won’t it? Tomorrow
is THE day. The day to say goodbye. Oh Gods, don’t cry Gabrielle! Just
don’t cry.
Xena enters
the clearing quietly. I lay as still as I can, pretending to be asleep. I
can feel Xena’s eyes on me, checking the steadiness of my breathing.
I will myself to make it slow, but I can’t really tell how well I’m
doing. A few moments later I hear the familiar clinking of her armour being
taken off. She lays down on her bed and puts her arm around me. She kisses
my shoulder and quietly whispers in my ear.
"Gabrielle, are you awake?" I stay silent, trying to keep my
composure.
"I’m sorry I had to go Gabrielle. I just couldn’t handle being
so close to you knowing that… well… you know… um… damn…
I’m glad you’re not awake to hear me stumbling through this…
my heart is breaking the closer we get to Athens…" I feel a tear
drop down onto my shoulder.
"I’m trying so hard to be strong, but I figure that if I keep my
distance then saying goodbye will be easier… Gods! Who thought I’d
ever feel this way? I mean dealing with Marcus’ death was hard, but I
could accept that because it was out of my hands. But saying goodbye to you
is so much harder because you’re not dead. You’re just leaving."
"I’m not asleep." I say quietly.
"Can you forgive me?" She asks, running her hand from my shoulder
to my fingers.
"How could I not?" I reply. I roll over onto my other side and
drink in the beauty that is my partner, my best friend, my lover. For someone
who doesn’t wash her hair very often I can’t believe how much it
shines in the moonlight! I wipe away the tear that is running down her cheek
and open my covers. She gets in, kissing me gently.
"I love you." She whispers.
"I love you too." I reply.
"I’m sorry I’ve ruined our last full day together. I just don’t
know how to handle this."
"Neither do I. Do… Do you want to make love or something?"
"No. I just want to feel your body close to mine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." I lie in the comfort and warmth of Xena’s body, not
wanting to ever break this contact. So many questions fill my mind and sleep
will not come. Will this be the last time I ever hold her? Will I be able
to sleep without her by my side? How different is it really going to be with
me in Athens and her out in the world, away from me, fighting the Gods and
other mortals without me by her side? What if she needs me and I’m not
there?
"I’ll manage…" Xena mumbles.
"What?" Damn I did it again!
"You said, ‘What if she needed me and I wasn’t there?’
and I said I’d manage. I’d learn that you weren’t there any
more, so I wouldn’t be looking to you for support."
"Oh." I reply.
"Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself, I did it before
I met you, I’m sure I can do it again."
"Yes, but we’ve been together so long, what if you forget that I’m
not there and you rely on me and I let you down and you get killed? I could
never forgive myself." I say, the words tumbling out before I can
stop them.
"Hey shh… I’ll be okay. I promise. Nothing will happen to me…
except I’ll become hugely famous because of all the stories you’ll
write and tell about me wherever you go!"
"Don’t joke about this Xena. I really mean it… what if you
need me and I’m not there?"
"That will never happen because if I really needed you I’d send
someone to find you."
"You would?"
"Absolutely."
"Oh." I reply, not knowing what to say.
"Now go to sleep. We have an exciting journey ahead of us tomorrow."
My chest suddenly tightens and my heart feels heavy again. This is the
last night we will spend together as the Warrior Princess and the Bard, for
who knows how long. I close my eyes, silently praying that tomorrow will never
come and we won’t have to say goodbye.
PART III a:
THE JOURNEY - MORNING
The sun streams through my closed eyelids. Surely it can’t be morning
already, I only just fell asleep. My back is cool, Xena isn’t beside
me. I roll over and rub my eyes. I look around and my gaze focuses on the
fire, which looks like it’s been out for ages. Xena stares into her cup.
I prop myself up on my elbow and look at her. Her muscled arms are still,
she looks tense. There is someone sitting on her left side, I can’t quite
make out who it is from here. I fumble for my clothes, which are beside the
bedroll, put them on and walk over Ah… it’s Hercules…
"I’ll see what I can do. But I’m not promising anything…"
Xena says quietly.
"Thank you. You’re really my last hope…" Hercules looks
up at me.
"Ah... the sleeping beauty awakens at last."
"Hello Hercules." I say, placing my hands on Xena’s shoulders.
"It’s good to see you Gabrielle."
"You too. What brings you to these parts?"
"You two actually… as I was just explaining to Xena…"
Xena cuts him off saying,
"I’ll tell you later Gabrielle." Hercules looks as surprised
as I am but doesn’t say anything.
"You go back to Iolaus. We’ll pack up here and I’ll meet you
in Kremus sometime between today and two or three days, depending on the weather."
Xena says.
"Okay. See you then. Goodbye Gabrielle." Hercules replies. He
and Xena stand, they shake hands, he nods to me and then leaves. I turn to
Xena.
"What’s going on?"
"Nothing. You’re going to Athens and I’m going to help out
an old friend." Xena throws some dregs from her cup and starts to
walk towards the beds.
"Uh-huh. So why don’t I believe you?"
"I don’t know Gabrielle, why don’t you?" Xena says,
annoyance evident in her voice.
"Xena. Let’s not do this again, yesterday was bad enough."
I grab her arm and spin her around to face me. She seems surprised by my strength.
Her eyes soften and she says,
"Look, Hercules has this young girl he wants me to meet. He says that
her parents were killed and she’s got no-one to look out for her. He
wants me to take her under my wing."
"Right. Well why didn’t you just tell me then?" I ask, jealousy
creeping into my heart.
"Because, you don’t need to be thinking about what I’m doing…
you’ve got to focus on your journey."
"Did you know about this girl the other night when I asked you if there
was someone else?"
"No of course not. Hercules just arrived this morning and asked me."
"Great, so you’re going off on some fantastic adventure with some
new babe and you want me to focus on my studies?!" I yell.
"Gabrielle stop it!" Xena shouts, grabbing my shoulders tightly.
"This is what I was talking about! You’re over reacting."
"I’m not over reacting!" I shout back. Xena says nothing,
just arches her eyebrow.
"Don’t give me that damn eyebrow look!" I yell. I turn from
Xena and start to pack up my things. Xena senses that I won’t listen
to her, so she doesn’t even try, she just packs up her bedroll as well.
I finish and say,
"I’m gonna start, I’m sure you’ll catch up to me on Argo.
Which way is Athens?"
"North… The way Hercules went."
"Thank you." I reply and walk off in that direction.
PART III b:
ATHENS
We have finally arrived in Athens! Thank the Gods. Things are still tense
between Xena and I, but I’m sure it’ll get better now. Xena jumps
off Argo and lands beside me. ‘Show-off.’ I think to myself. Xena
starts to fiddle with her leathers - a sure sign that she’s uncomfortable.
She unhooks my bag from Argo’s saddle and we look around, then she says,
"Well, here we are in Athens. There’s the Academy. Do you want me
to walk you over?"
"Of course." I reply. Why would she even ask me that? We walk
across the courtyard and I take my bag from Xena. I take out my application
form and hand it to a woman sitting at a crudely made table with the sign
‘APPLICATIONS LODGED HERE’ stuck next to it. She studies it for
a moment then says,
"You’re in Room 4. You will be sharing it with two other young girls.
They have not arrived yet. The kitchen is only a short walk from your room.
I hope you have a pleasant and rewarding time here. Thank you…Next!"
Xena and I move away from the table.
"Well she was rude." I say.
"Yeah, and she talked in such small sentences."
"Gee Xena, if you start noticing that sort of thing then maybe you should
join me here!" I say, trying to ease the tension between us.
"I don’t think so." She says solemnly. We come to the door
of my new room. I open it and go in, Xena follows me closely, subconsciously
checking for booby traps and ambushes. Of course there are none, so I choose
a bed and put my bag on it.
"Well, I’d better get going." Xena says.
"Already?"
"Yeah, I’m not sure where I’m camping out yet and I’m
sure you’ll want to get comfortable before your room mates get here."
"I suppose. Are you to meet Hercules and Iolaus tonight?"
"No. I’ll catch up with them tomorrow."
"Well wait here, I’ll get you something from the kitchen."
"Okay."
"You will wait, won’t you?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Okay. I’ll be right back." I walk out of the room and over
to the kitchen. Why is she anxious to leave. What will I say to her? I don’t
want to say goodbye. I can’t… not yet. A large woman comes bustling
over to me.
"Hello. I’m Gabrielle. I’m new here." I say, flashing
my best ‘I’m so innocent and charming’ grin.
"Hello Gabrielle. I’m Chef - for obvious reasons. Is there something
I can get for you?"
"Yes actually, my friend has a long journey ahead of her and I was wondering
if I could get some sandwiches for her."
"Of course you can dear. How many?"
"Um… three if that’s all right, she’s not a fussy eater
so just whatever you have."
"Okay dear, won’t be a tick. Why don’t you have a seat and
I’ll bring them out."
"Thank you so much Chef… Oh… would you have some parchment
I could borrow, I’d like to slip a note in with it."
"Of course." Chef opens a large cupboard and takes out a piece
of parchment. She hands it to me, and I start this note to Xena:
Xena,
First of all, I love you very, very much and I will miss you… Why does
it hurt so much to say goodbye? It’s not forever. I can always see you
when you’re in these parts, and that’s fairly often. But… things
will change so much. Nothing will be as it has. I’m not scared, well
maybe a little. But it feels like a piece of my heart is being broken off
and taken away. If only I could tell you this. If only I could find out if
you feel the same. If…
Gabrielle
I finish
the note and roll the parchment up as Chef returns with the sandwiches.
"There you go dear."
"Thank you Chef. I’ll be back later for some food for me!"
"Okay then, take care!" Chef chuckles. I hide the parchment in
the sandwich wrapper and return to Xena who is patiently waiting in my room.
The other two girls still haven’t arrived so I hand the parcel to Xena
and say,
"Do I get a goodbye kiss?"
"Ah.. no I don’t think so Gabrielle." My heart lurches…
what did I do? What did I say? Why doesn’t she want to kiss me?
"Okay." I reply quietly.
"You’re not mad are you?" Xena asks. She lifts my chin and
stares deep into my eyes.
"No. Why would I be mad? It’s just that I thought that because we
were… well, you know… that… oh look, it doesn’t matter.
How about I just walk you out? You should get as far from here as you can
before nightfall, it’ll make your journey faster tomorrow." Xena
continues to stare at me, but I won’t budge.
"Okay. That’s a good idea. I suppose." She concedes slowly.
We walk back through the courtyard to the city gates. Xena turns to me and
says,
"Gabrielle, I want you to know that I’m grateful for all you’ve
helped me become. I love you so much and I want you to be happy. I would love
for you to stay with me, but this is where you really belong - in Athens…"
She bends down and kisses me on the cheek.
"I’ll be back to see you soon. I love you."
"I love you too." I kiss Xena on the cheek. She turns and gets
up onto Argo. She smiles at me and waves, then slowly turns around and leaves
me. Forever? I silently wonder.
*****
As I lay in bed I realise how lonely I am. Neither of my room mates have
arrived and Xena’s been gone almost half a day. I wish she was here to
hold me in her arms. I hate the way she left. I didn’t get to…
"Gabrielle!" Is that Xena’s voice? I sit up in bed. No,
I must be hearing things - wishful thinking.
"Gabrielle!" There it is again. I push back the covers and go
to the door.
"Xena?" I whisper through it.
"Yes. Open up." I quickly open the door and Xena rushes in. I
close it quietly and say.
"What are you doing here?"
"Um… I found the note you sent me… thank you. I couldn’t
leave things the way they were. You mean too much to me and it was wrong of
me to treat you that way. Will you come with me?"
"Now?!" I ask, not believing what I’m hearing.
"Yes now. I set up camp just outside the city walls, I’ll bring
you back in the morning. But please come with me now."
"Okay, just let me put some clothes on."
"Okay. But hurry." Xena replies. I get dressed in record time
and follow Xena to where she left Argo. She climbs up and helps me on. We
ride to where she is camped and I let the smell of her leathers and her own
scent surround me. We get to the camping spot, and without saying a word she
takes me to her bed. She lays me down and starts to undress me. I try to help
her take her leathers off, but she swats playfully at my hand and does it
herself. Once we’re fully undressed she opens up the bedroll and we get
in. I run my finger down her neck and between her breasts. She shudders at
the touch and I catch her lips with mine. Her tongue enters my mouth, hot
and horny. I let her fill my mouth with hers, groaning with satisfaction.
She breaks the kiss (a little too quickly for my liking!) and takes the rest
of her clothes off. She smiles her thousand dinar smile and pulls me in close.
She kisses me again, long and sweet.
"Take me!" I demand playfully.
"With pleasure!" She replies and does, running her hands all
over my body as though for the first time. She kisses me in all the right
places and lets her fingers do the talking. When we finish we lay in each
other’s arms, lost in our own thoughts.
PART IV:
THE ENDING
I’m massaging her neck, shoulders and back. She lays her head against
my stomach and puts her right hand over mine.
"Mmm… Feels so good. I’m going to miss this."
"Well then, you’ll have to come back once a week. I won’t even
charge you for it!" I say. I stop massaging and put my arms around
her neck, hugging her tightly.
"Sounds good. A week is a long time away, will you be okay until then?"
She asks.
"Sure… Just think… now you’ll be able to do things without
thinking now! Without me fighting you because I want to follow you into danger!
Where I’m staying no harm can come to me, that should make you feel better."
"You, not get into trouble? Sure, I’ve heard that one before!"
I give her a gentle slap. Xena is quiet for a minute then she says,
"You’ve kept me from going back and living in my dark side so many
times. I just hope I can do it without you."
"You’ll never go back to that life. You are too different now."
I say.
"Am I? Sometimes the old feelings and self-destructive behaviour are
so close and it would be easy to just slip back into old habits."
"You won’t. You’ll be carrying around a piece of me with you
everywhere and that will ensure you don’t. So don’t make the stories
I write and tell about you be nothing like the woman I know and love."
"Thank you Gabrielle."
"You’re welcome. Now, I really must go."
"Just one more massage?"
"No, you’ve already had more than enough! What I’ve given you
will tide you over until you come back next week."
"Oh okay. But why do you have to leave this morning, why can’t you
leave later this afternoon or tonight?"
"Because I’ve got some sort of orientation thing today. Getting
to know everyone or something."
"Oh okay. I’ll take you back."
"Actually, I’d like to walk. It’s a beautiful day."
"You won’t be late will you?"
"No. Why?"
"Oh, no reason, it’s just that I know how you like to ‘smell
the flowers’!"
"Ha, ha. I promise I won’t dawdle, if you promise to come back in
a week."
"It’s a deal. Now come here." Xena grabs my hand and pulls
me in close. She kisses me sweetly and whispers.
"I love you Gabrielle."
"I love you too Xena." I reply.
THE END
Please stay tuned for the next exciting instalment in this Xena and Gabrielle
series… called The Weekend Visitor…
Proudly brought to you by Heartstarter and Ripley. Enjoy!