Part 3a

Author's note: Any films or television programmes mentioned in this book are imagined and have no connection with any real films or programmes that may have similar titles (I have no idea if there are any such).

Contact:

noumenal_rabbit@hotmail.com

Serenity, felicity :-)

Part 1

TOGETHER

By

Icebard

Chapter Eighteen

Rowing on a Lake

Saturday 10th March, Year 2 :

'Isn't this great?!' said Ember, grinning widely, doing a happy little dance while not moving from her spot.

Vibeke looked at her and felt a wave of almost giddy happiness go through her. How do you do that? she wondered. Just your way of being, your simple delight give me so much pleasure. How many times a day do I think I'm about to melt into a boneless puddle of mush? 'It certainly looks it. A bit windy and chilly.'

'That's why it's great!'

They were standing on an old wooden jetty that jutted out into a fairly large lake of very irregular shape. Three yachts could be seen in the distance, two of them heeled at a sharp angle in the wind and apparently moving quite quickly. There were hills and rather barren moors around most of the opposite side of the lake, and there were several small islands here and there.

Up against the jetty were tied five simple fibreglass rowing boats.

'Here he comes,' said Ember, nodding towards the shore.

Vibeke turned and saw the fat, middle-aged man ambling towards them from the back of the boathouse. He was wearing wellingtons, stained jeans and an old checked workshirt. He was unshaven and rather ugly but he had had a pleasant and relaxed manner when they had spoken to him and asked to rent one of the boats.

He nodded as he reached them. 'Bit of a wild day today,' he said as he fumbled through a ring of keys. 'Keep your life jackets on,' he said amiably.

Vibeke was in the process of putting hers on and Ember was already wearing hers. She looked strangely cute in the bright orange padding and Vibeke was not really sure why - until she reflected that, to her eyes, Ember just looked perpetually cute - except when she was looking beautiful, of course.

The man kneeled heavily and unlocked the padlock that secured the rowing boat, and handed the line to Vibeke. 'There you go.'

'Thanks. How long do we have?'

'Normally these are rented by the hour, but I don't imagine anyone else is going to come along. You can stay out as long as you like, just make sure you bring it back by the time I close. I'll be leaving at five o'clock, but I think you'll be cold and tired well before that.' He nodded to them again. 'Have a good time.'

'Thank you,' said Ember.

Vibeke held the front of the boat up against the wooden dock while Ember climbed in. She handed their small backpacks to her, then once she was settled on the middle bench she hopped on board after her, making the boat rock rather a lot.

'Not got my sea legs yet,' Vibeke explained. 'Here, let's get the oars set. Do you mind if I row first?'

'No problem. There's not a lot of space on the bench, but maybe we can try rowing together once we're away from the shore. That might be fun. As long as you don't pull too hard, as then we'd just end up going in circles.'

Ember climbed to the back bench of the boat and Vibeke set the oars and sat down between them. Then, without much trouble, she pushed away from the jetty and between two of the other boats, then turned their boat around with strokes of her right oar. Then she dipped both blades and pulled once, then more strongly, and then settled into an easy rhythm.

Soon enough they were well away from the shore and out on the water.

'I'm glad you're sitting at the back and not at the front,' Vibeke said.

'Why's that?' Ember asked. 'I guess if I was at the front the bow would be lower in the water. Would that increase the resistance of the water and make it slower and more difficult going?'

'I didn't think about it. I just meant it was nice that I can see you.'

Ember chuckled at that, looking about them at the expanse of the lake, the picturesque countryside beyond, and taking in the openness of the grey day.

Vibeke watched the way that Ember's pale hair was whipped by the wind. She saw that her face, usually fair, was paler in the chilly air and her large, ice-blue eyes were unusually light, reflecting the light in an almost clear silver while her pupils were very constricted.

Then Ember looked at her smiling widely. 'As I said, this great,' she said. 'But it's also rather cold so I'm going to wear my hat. Do you want yours?'

'I'm all right for the moment. I'm actually kind of enjoying having my hair tugged about me.'

Ember picked up her backpack and rummaged inside it, coming out with her blue and white woollen hat with a bobble that hung from the top. She tipped her head forward and pulled it on, settled it in place then looked up again. Her hair was mostly hidden and her ears were covered but Vibeke thought she looked adorable.

Then Vibeke grinned. 'You have rabbits on the sides of your hat,' she said.

'Yes,' Ember replied. 'I had to knit them onto it myself since I couldn't find a hat that had any. I thought that was pretty weird actually. You would have thought that rabbits would be a pretty basic requirement for any hat, but no. Such is the world we live in.' She looked up at Vibeke with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. 'Would you be terribly disappointed if your hat disappeared one day in inexplicable circumstances - kidnapped by aliens perhaps - and then reappeared a day or two later with an image of Clyde the Cat on it? I mean, such things can happen. You never know when the image of a cartoon animal might suddenly make an appearance.'

'Hmm,' said Vibeke. 'No, it wouldn't disturb me, though I wonder how it would be done. My hat is black and has loose-knit wool.'

'I guess I could just make a full-size Clyde the Cat and get him to sit on top of the hat,' Ember said.

They fell quiet for a little while then as Vibeke pulled steadily and glanced over her shoulder from time to time, heading for the very centre of the lake and a string of islands off to the right.

'Here, can I join you?' Ember asked.

'Of course.' Vibeke stopped rowing and slid over a little. She held the oars steady as Ember stood and then settled beside her on the rowing bench. They were pressed up against each there and she found herself very aware of the contact, the press of Ember's body even through the coats they were wearing.

Then they leaned forward together, each of them holding an oar.

'Ready?' asked Vibeke.

'Ready.'

Together, they dipped their oars and pulled slowly, Vibeke timing her strokes to Ember's. Once and again and again they pulled until they had a steady rhythm going.

'Wow, this is fun!' exclaimed Ember, grinning as she rowed.

Gradually and somewhat erratically they made their way onwards.

----------

Half an hour later they stopped in the lee of a small island. They decided not to get out and explore - there were only a few trees there, some sandy ground and some tangled undergrowth. But they guided their boat close to a ridge and an overhanging ash tree so that they could be out of the wind for a little while, and then Vibeke took their flask of coffee from her backpack. She filled a cup and handed it to Ember, then filled another for herself.

Sitting there, leaning against each other, their hands warmed by the coffee, their bodies warmed by their efforts, Vibeke marvelled at how good she felt - not that it was a rare occurrence in Ember's company.

'That's great,' Ember said as she took a small and careful sip. 'I like your fingerless gloves,' she remarked. 'I always find it annoying when I'm wearing gloves and try fumbling with my bag or try to take out some money and I have to take them off except my hands are full so I put them under my arm and then risk losing one.'

'Thanks. I need to get some new ones really as these are a bit worn out.'

Vibeke and Ember both took items of lunch from their packs then - Vibeke had been carrying some sandwiches and a couple of packets of crisps, and Ember had been carrying some rich chocolate cake with white icing that she had made the previous day.

'Nice sandwiches,' Ember commented as she ate one. It had chicken, lettuce, pickle and cheese and was thick enough to require a large bite.

Vibeke gently bumped her with her shoulder and smiled as she looked across at her. 'I loooooovve yoouu,' she sang softly.

Ember grinned and wrapped an arm about her waist and gave her a squeeze. 'You are my heart and my life.'

As they fed each other crisps - salt and vinegar, and prawn cocktail flavoured - Vibeke said: 'Damn, what a great idea it was to come out here today.'

'I do feel almost smug about it,' Ember replied. Then, after a little while: 'I wonder what people thought of this place back in stone age and bronze age times. I guess some people must have lived on the shores from time to time. Maybe there was once a village here. Those line of standing stones we saw on the way here are only a few miles away.'

'I wonder if they fished here much. I imagine there were once quite a lot of fish here.'

'They must have had such a different perspective of the world,' Ember went on. 'Many strange beliefs about the nature of reality, about gods and magic, about seasons and creatures and the immensity of the wilderness about them that seems comparatively small to us.'

Vibeke considered for a moment. 'Yes, it's fascinating. Except it would not have been strange at all to them, though no doubt the world was full of mystery.'

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Chapter Nineteen

A Happy Evening (One of Many)

Friday 6th April, Year 2 :

'I do like Friday evenings,' Ember said. 'And you certainly prepared a great meal this evening. And we have the weekend still in front of us!' She smiled contentedly.

They were sitting at their customary places across the corner of the kitchen table. They had finished their dessert and were just taking their time sipping their cups of tea. Twilight and the first stars did not light the room well and Vibeke had only lit a single candle with a stem of dark green.

'I have something for you,' Vibeke said. 'For us, really.'

'Really?' Ember smiled. It was not unusual for them to give each other small gifts - usually just something fun, or some flowers, or some small thing each though the other might make good use of. But Ember saw that from Vibeke's manner that whatever it was was probably not without significance. Vibeke seemed a little self-conscious, excited and vulnerable at the same time.

'Yes. Stay here a moment. I'll just get it from the bedroom.'

Ember waited, watching the flickering of the candle flame and its reflection against the glass of the darkening window. It was very quiet, as it usually was in the house - there was no traffic to be heard.

She heard Vibeke's soft footsteps and watched as she turned through the door, crossed over to her and settled back down in her chair. With a smile and small sigh of happy decisiveness she set down a velvet pouch on the table between them.

'I had this idea and it just seemed . . . Well, I really hope you like it. It's something for both of us.'

Ember looked into Vibeke's eyes. Her pupils were dilated in the dimness and the light of the candle was steady in her eyes. As so often, she thought of amethysts touched with a hint of ruby.

'Open it?' Vibeke asked with a smile.

Ember picked up the pouch and felt the shifting of weight. It was jewellery of some kind. Opening the drawstring, she gently let the contents fall into her palm.

'One for you and one for me,' Vibeke said.

Ember blinked and felt a rush of deep emotion flow through her as, for a long minute, she examined what she was holding. 'They're beautiful,' she said, holding them up to the light. There were two silver chains and two pendants. One of the pendants was of a light blue stone. Though its colour was completely different, it was almost like tiger's eye in the way that parts of it were transparent and refractive and other parts were translucent. The other was of a light amethyst, clear and of a lovely hue.

Each was a perfect half-sphere a little less than an inch in diameter.

Even as Ember realised what that meant, Vibeke took the two stones from her and fit them together, back to back. With a small turn the clasps at the top of each stone fitted together. Now Vibeke was holding a single sphere of stone. 'Like us,' she said softly, and handed it back to Ember.

'Like us,' Ember agreed. And she took hold of Vibeke's hand and intertwined their fingers.

For a while they just sat there in near darkness, pondering the combined stones and their togetherness, filled with a profound sense of endless connectedness.

----------

A little later Vibeke said: 'Will you watch some television with me as we digest? And then maybe can take a bath together.'

Ember smiled at her. 'I would like that very much. We do seem to take a lot of baths and showers together. I like doing so.'

'How about I wash up while you choose a film or TV programme to watch and maybe get some candles and bubble bath ready?'

Before long they were settled in the corner of the sofa. Ember was leaning back in Vibeke's embrace, Vibeke's arms about her. It was good to be so comfortable and close. It was good to feel Vibeke's chest moving against her, to even be aware of her heartbeat if she concentrated.

They watched a television programme about mysteries and hoaxes and curious discoveries. They both liked the sceptical way in which it was presented, enjoyed the eccentric enthusiasm of a professor of zoology who was consulted, and were intrigued by films of weird animals from the deep oceans. It was all a bit sensational but it was done in such an amusing way that they liked it.

When it was over, Ember turned off the television and turned to Vibeke and said: 'I think we have an appointment with a bath.'

'It agreed to fit us into its schedule?'

'Yes. You know, with all the bath ducks that need its attention it was very generous to give us as much time as we want.'

---------

A few minutes later they were undressing each other in the bedroom. Then, naked and holding hands, they went through to the bathroom where hot water was pouring into a mass of foaming bubbles. Vibeke had lit half a dozen candles about the room and their soft golden radiance lit everything softly.

After testing the water, Vibeke stepped in first and helped Ember in after her. Slowly, they eased themselves down into the soothing heat. Reaching behind Ember, Vibeke turned off the water seeing as it was deep enough that they risked overflowing the bath.

'Lean back against me,' she said as she settled back against the sloping end of the bath.

Ember nodded and turned and leaned back. Vibeke found herself grinning at the soft pressure of her against her breasts, her legs to either side of Ember. As Ember leaned her head back against Vibeke's shoulder, Vibeke nuzzled her hair and kissed the edge of the shell of her right ear.

They scooped up handfuls of bubbles and let them fall. After a little while of simply relaxing, Vibeke picked up a sponge and shifted Ember forward a little so that she could scrub her shoulders and back. It was not much to do with washing her of course, it was just a form of pleasant contact and massage that they both liked.

When Ember leaned back against her again, Vibeke scrubbed her upper chest. And then she set aside the sponge, and cupped Ember's breasts with her hands, and gently squeezed and caressed them, starting very gently and slowly, taking her time, enjoying the catch of Ember's breathing and the shift of her body at the sensations she was causing. She brushed her fingers across her nipples, and pulled them very lightly. Then she took as much of her breasts in her hands as she could and began a rather more intense manipulation and squeezing and massaging of the soft flesh, enjoying the whimpers of pleasure she could evoke from Ember in just this simple way.

----------

A while later, after the bath water had begun to cool, they stepped out and dried each other off. Making their way to the bedroom, they pulled back the covers of the bed and lay down together, kissing and touching, Ember lying almost on top of Vibeke.

For a very long time then they shared pleasures. They brought each other to peak after peak, but more than that it was the time of delightment that they spent holding each other close to that greatest pleasure that made them soar upon the oneness of their experience of each other. Entwined together, caressing and tasting, kissing and licking, becoming slick with sweat and the sweet wetness of their desire, all else vanished: there was only them, their bliss, their togetherness.

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Later, after sleeping for a little while, Vibeke awoke to find that Ember was sitting beside her up against the pillows, her beauty lit by a solitary, still-burning candle.

And she saw that Ember was holding their new necklaces and pendants up, gazing into the sphere that they made, absorbed by the light that entered it and was reflected from it. A look of such awe and happiness was upon her face, a profound and lovely tenderness revealed in her gaze, that Vibeke simply stared at her, transfixed and marvelling. She did not think that Ember was aware that she was awake until, after a minute or so, Ember turned and looked down into her eyes, smiling, her own eyes shining with love.

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Chapter Twenty

Running and Playing

Saturday 5th May, Year 2 :

Ember :

You are so beautiful.

I stand by the overgrown hedgerow beneath an old oak tree that has spread and lost some of its limbs and grown strangely, some of it dying back. I suspect some of its trunk is hollow and that, though it may seem close to death, it will outlive most people that are currently alive.

The sun is shining brightly, the air cool. There was a heavy dew when we went out this morning, and mist hanging in swathes like silk over the landscape.

I watch as you run. Sometimes you slow to a walk, and turn, and then set off again. You have been at it for more than two hours, and before that you were working out with your weights.

I smile as I think about how reluctant you were to ask old Mr Caldwell if you might use his field for running. I was not sure if you simply did not wish to be intrusive and did not want to disturb him, or if you had some need to hide in some way, or if you simply did not want your neutral anonymity as far as your neighbour was concerned to become familiarity, with the social expectations that might entail. I am glad that you have discovered that he is so pleased that you are making good use of his field. I have seem him watching briefly on a few occasions, when he has been in an adjacent field or standing by his barn. I also know that he has kept the outer path clear for no reason other than that you would want to use it - though I suspect he would, with some humour, deny it.

You are wearing khaki shorts that come to mid-thigh, a black vest and a sports bra beneath. You are barefoot, and I know that you love to run barefoot. When you surge forwards you seem to have both the grace and lightness of a deer and the unstoppable power of a hunting cat. I watch the muscles rippling along your legs. Even from this distance I can see the flush of your skin and the sweat that gleams upon your skin, the blush of heat that caresses your face, the strength and depth of each of your deep breaths.

Sometimes I wonder if your raw physicality might overwhelm me, though it never has. I have seen the way you need to move, to push your body, and understand that you would feel constricted, uncomfortable, tense if you could not do so. I also am aware of the deep relaxation such an intensity of motion and effort brings you afterwards. I love the way you are so tired, and then shower and eat and then, when I hold you, you are so amazingly responsive to my touch. My every breath and caress, kiss and gentle bite makes you thrum and vibrate in my arms such that you quickly ascend to the experience of aching liquid pleasure where you might find release - unless I hold you for as long as I can at the very summit, at the edge of release, which sometimes both of us want.

Vibeke :

I have never seen you playing cards before, and though I have been watching you for the best part of half an hour I still do not have a clue what game it is that you are playing or what the goal of it is. It looks complex, and I am amused at the fact that I cannot work it out just by observing.

I am sitting on the sofa, and am glad that we carried it out onto the cracked patio so that we might sit and have breakfast in the cool air of the early morning. I enjoyed listening to the birdsong, and at moments I saw you were quite enraptured by it. It was shortly after six o'clock that we arose, and though I think we both might have liked a little more sleep, I am happy that we so much enjoyed sitting here in the muted shell-pink light, drinking orange juice and coffee and eating an omelette and toast.

Now, after a workout and a shower and a return to bed so that we might make slow, lingering and tender love, we are back out here as midday approaches. And though I brought a book out to read, I have barely taken in a single sentence, so caught up have I been in trying to work out the nature of the game you are enjoying.

Well . . . Even if I do not yet comprehend it, I enjoy watching the smile of surprise and pleasure that sometimes crosses your face when you turn over a particular card. It is an amazing thing to take in the depth of your concentration, the way your eyes absorb the nature of each card, the way your gaze shifts to take in some more profound meaning that more than merely eludes me.

You are sitting on the warm stone of the patio, your back to the brick wall of the kitchen on my left. Climbing plants frame you and the wall gives you a little shade, but dappled sunlight still falls across your legs and the side of your face. You are wearing a dress of light white material, gauzy and partly see-through from the waist down. The sleeves are short such that your faintly tanned arms are bare. The dress has a kind of mock bodice of clearer white cloth, and small pearl buttons down the front. I look at your bare, lightly tanned feet and watch your toes shift once and then again as you tackle some tricky problem in your game, and the littleness of it and the fact that I notice it so clearly fills me with a deep warmth and amazement. Your silken hair is still fairly short but it is long enough that you have parted it slightly. I like the way that it looks slightly unruly and how it frames your face uniquely. You are not wearing any make-up or jewellery. You have not done so for some time, and I remind myself to ask you what your reasons might be for setting such things aside.

You look up at me as I take a sip of my cooling golden tea. 'You are watching me,' you say.

I nod. 'You are beautiful.' Then, after a few seconds in which I absorb the way in which you look down, take in my words, then look up again with pleasure and shy warmth, I say: 'Will you tell me the rules of your game?'

At this you set the cards that are in your hand down on the sun-warmed stone beside you, face-down. You smile but also look slightly puzzled. 'There are no rules,' you say quietly. 'I was simply looking for patterns.'

I feel my wonder deepen at this. Ever since I met you I have been astonished by how much you can see in almost anything.

'The combinations of cards - not only their order but also the way I lay them out - becomes infinite,' you say. 'But every combination and laying out tells many possible stories. I have been trying to understand a few of them. Would you like me to show you, and to tell you a few of the stories?'

'I would like that very much,' I reply. I stand up and walk across to you and sit down beside you with my back to the wall. I feel the cool stone against me, and the heat where there is no shade.

'Look,' you say as you pick up the remainder of the deck and set out half a dozen cards in a pattern around those you have already dealt. And you tell me a story, fairly short but very poignant, of what the cards mean to you. As I listen, I marvel at what you say, the amazing beauty of your imagination and the connections you make, the kindness and compassion that is revealed in your tale. At the same time I am, as so often, amazed your lovely voice, the colour of which is so perfect, so feminine but yet quite low. I take in your gentle expressions and absorb the meanings of what you say as best I can.

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Chapter Twenty-One

Art and Work

Thursday 14th June, Year 2 :

Vibeke :

The day is sunny and not yet hot. It is just before eleven o'clock in the clock in the morning but we have been up since five. The sun had risen by then of course, but it was so good to drive out into the hills with you and find a place where we could sit and enjoy breakfast and gaze out across the landscape. The light was cool and a misty veil clung to vales and drifted over the fields. The birdsong was clear and endlessly varied.

Tomorrow we will go on a trip, a holiday that we do not know much about yet except that we will drive to get wherever we are going. Today we are simply taking a day off.

I stand at the kitchen windows, looking out. The garden is rather overgrown but I like it like this. I find it amusing that you like to take care of it as much as you can and that I prefer to let you. A consequence of my working at the nursery I guess. The grass is a remarkable clear green and there are so many blooms coming out in a chaos of colour.

I turn away and step across to the surface under one of the cupboards where the kettle and toaster sit. I stop for a moment before pouring us mugs of tea - you have been in your art room for quite a while now and I think you will appreciate it. I am suddenly very aware of the simple fact of the surface, the kettle, the toaster, the cupboards. How many times have I made tea or toast here? I realise that this small and simple place can be considered mine but I am also aware that these everyday things - cupboards, surface, kettle, toaster - are laid out in a way that is unique and that the light from the windows falls upon them in a way it would not anywhere else. With a smile I reflect that I like our house and I wonder how it was planned and built and with what degree of awareness.

I add milk to our tea and put some biscuits on a plate - oat biscuits with sesame that I know you like. I pick up both mugs with one hand and the plate of biscuits with the other, and leave the kitchen and pass down the hall to the room that has become your studio.

I feel like knocking before entering in case you are in some kind of creative fugue but instead just enter quietly.

You add a couple of strokes with a stick of charcoal to the picture you are working on and then look up to me with a bright smile.

I take in the meaningful chaos of the room - the many stacked pictures and paintings, the paints and pencils and papers and sketches, the long, scored table and tilted work-table and easel, the books and notebooks and jottings, the marks of paint on two pallets, the brushes, the many colours of lines of pastels and so much more. The windows are open and the lace curtains billow and settle and drift in the light breezes. The light is bright, dappled because of the spreading ash tree and the climbing plants about the frame outside. Summer and sunshine and clear yellow-gold radiance fills the space. The scents of turpentine and oil paints and other art materials are pleasant in the air.

But most of all my attention is upon you: sitting upon your chair, wearing a light summer dress of pale cream, loosely tied with long laces up the front, the short sleeves and the long skirt layered but simple. One of your shoulders is bare and the plunging back reveals much fair skin over the insides of your shoulder-blades, down the dip of your spine and the curve of the small of your back to where the material comes together again above a slim belt of light, braided cloth. Your feet are sandalled upon the wooden floor and I can see your shapely toes peeking out from the cloth of your long dress. You are utterly lovely.

I look into your smiling face and find myself grinning in return. Sunlight and shadow fall across your visage and your hair is very pale. Your eyes are like limpid expanses of crystalline water in some northern lake, with depth and desire and profundity in their centres.

You say with amusement: 'You seem to have become distracted.' You say it warmly and I love your voice.

I blink and shake my head a fraction. 'I entered a fugue of rapture for a little while,' I reply. 'Which was clearly your fault.' I chuckle and look down. 'I brought you some tea,' I say unnecessarily.

'Thank you that's kind of you. I must admit I was becoming a little tired and thirsty. And lonely.'

For a moment I think you are being charming and are amused at us - we have several times reflected that we so much like being together and find it difficult to spend time apart. Then I realise that you are completely serious. I swallow and feel a sudden sense of contingency, and a gladness and astonishment that things are not other than they are. 'I am always here for you,' I say. Then, with a small smile: 'I did not want to disturb your work though I did not think I would disturb you.'

You shake your head slightly, and pick up your mug of tea once I have set it down upon the table. 'Thank you,' you say softly. You cup the mug in your hands carefully, for it is hot. Then you stand, still holding it.

Standing before me, looking up at me, you say with a look of profound and endearing bemusement and humour: 'How did it happen that I always drink tea from this mug?'

'I thought you brought it with you from Mrs Waechter's place.'

'Well I did, and I used it all the time. But I brought a couple of other mugs with me too. I like this one best though.'

'I always chose it for you if I was making tea because it seemed the nicest mug for you.' I pause then say: 'I wonder if I chose it selfishly. It's dark red, not unlike my hair. But I do think it looks good with your eyes and hair, a most pleasant contrast.'

You smile. 'I like that you chose it for me and perhaps did so because it suggested you. And maybe it was already my favourite mug because my favourite colours were your colours even before I met you.' You chuckle then. 'Do you know how much I sometimes loved to look at the light of a candle flame through a holder of mauve glass, with a glass of red wine held in front?'

I am surprised by this and for a moment do not know what to say. 'Really?' is all I manage.

Your smile widens. 'Really. You know my candle holders? When I bought them I chose the mauve, green and yellow ones. But whenever I drank wine by candlelight it was always the mauve-tinted light that fascinated me when I held my glass of wine in front of it.'

Ember :

'I love coming in here,' you say.

I look around, surprised for a moment though I do not know why.

'I like watching you work,' you continue. 'I like looking at what you create. Will you show me your latest pictures?'

It is something that has been a constant ever since I moved in with you, your interest in my artwork. I love that you want to see what I am creating, how each picture is progressing. When I drew that series of pictures of you naked and you did not know what I was working on, you were so gracious and unquestioning when I asked if you could leave me alone for all those hours across a number of weeks. And then when I showed you what I had done . . . I found myself amazed and became so aware of my love for you when I realised that you had no idea that I was drawing you and that you had thought that I simply wanted some privacy for a while.

I pick up my sketch book. 'I haven't started painting any of these yet or doing any in pastels but I am quite proud of them. Here, let's sit together and we'll look through them. I'd like to know which ones you like.'

I take your hand and we sit down together, our chairs side by side. I am so aware of your attention, your presence, your delight in what I show you. I am so fascinated by your responses. I am aware of your scent.

You say much to me as we go through the ten sketches that I most like. I can see that in these simple, quiet moments you are so happy and content, just like I am.

----------

Vibeke looked at the last picture that Ember showed her. It was of a cat that was sitting at the foot of the birch tree that grew about fifteen feet from the window of the room. The image really caught her attention because of its intense sense of atmosphere. 'That's really quite remarkable,' she breathed.

'What do you mean?' Ember gently pressed when Vibeke was silent for a little while.

'Usually I might expect a picture of a cat in a garden to picturesque, pleasant, gentle, and also still and calm. Yet this is distinctly dark despite the brightness of the sunlight. The shadows are so deep and defined. And it seems as if something is about to happen. I really like it. The cat seems to be surrounded by mystery.'

'I'm glad you like it,' Ember said.

Vibeke closed the sketch book and looked about the room again. Her gaze fell on some of the stacked canvases and upon the piles of drawings. The images on the walls had been chosen by both of them. Three small ones were of Vibeke. Two were of both of them entwined, and one of these included them looking into each other's eyes. Ember had captured such a look of trust and quiet joy in both of them that Vibeke loved to look at it.

'Your drawings and paintings are very varied,' Vibeke said at length.

'I think my artwork has undergone quite a change since I met you,' Ember replied. 'I always drew in fairly disparate and varied styles but since meeting you there has been an evolution that seems profound even to me. I do not just mean that I love to draw and paint you most, whereas I used to draw more strangers or landscapes or buildings. It's more than that. Even a drawing of a tree comes out differently now. I think it is because the intensity of feelings that you evoke in me is so powerful and the nature of those feelings is so profound that it has affected everything about me including the nature of what I try to depict. Whereas I used to take delight in details and juxtapositions and the simplest variations of shadow or colour, now there is an added dimension to my awareness. It infuses everything. I do not think many people would notice but I can see that it is there.'

Ember set the sketch book aside and leaned her head against Vibeke's shoulder. Vibeke kissed the top of Ember's head and kissed then pressed her cheek against her.

'Of course, I like drawing and painting you most of all,' Ember continued, and Vibeke could tell that she was smiling as she said this. 'I really like trying to capture rather erotic images of you.' She wriggled a little in her chair.

'Is there any way I can persuade you to draw and paint more pictures of yourself?' Vibeke asked.

'I find it a bit difficult,' Ember replied. 'But I like to do so if it works. I do have an idea for a series of images featuring both of us. I think it may be rather ambitious and that it will take a long time, but I would like to try. It will probably be spread across several years.'

----------

Early that evening they had a light meal: spinach and mixed green salad with eggs and cubed, fried chicken breast, then cheese and savoury biscuits afterwards. They ate at the end of the garden, close to the fence, sitting on chairs and looking out across the farmland and woodland to the south and west.

'I was thinking more about what to do about my work,' Ember said as she cut pieces of good Camembert, red Leicester and Cheddar.

Vibeke watched her as she sat back, and a smile touched her lips as Ember raised a cracker and cheese to her lips and took a small bite. She saw Ember's appreciation of the good food, her enjoyment of the flavours and texture and smell. For a moment Ember's eyes closed as she concentrated and chewed and swallowed.

'Are you happy working for Evelyn still?'

Ember glanced at her, then looked out again through and over the wire fence and untended low hedgerow and across the field on the other side. 'Yes, she's still pleasant and easy to get on with. Actually she's told mea few times that she cannot imagine ever being upset with me as an employee and that she really likes that I work for her, but she also wonders why I stay there and do not set up on my own. And that's what I'm thinking about.'

'I suspect there is some reluctance in you,' Vibeke said. 'If I'm reading you correctly.'

Ember looked at her for longer then, smiling into her eyes. 'You're right. It's what I said before. I take a certain amount of pleasure from being a dressmaker, though I do it for the money more than anything. But keeping the books and being self-employed and the paperwork it would entail really do not appeal to me. I know that I would earn a lot more - though Evelyn gives me a pretty good share of the takings because she wants me to stay on.' She shook her head, looking away again. 'I don't think I'm cut out to be a businesswoman. I think there are good reasons for it though, despite my lack of interest. It would give me more freedom. I wouldn't have to work regular hours. Those are good things. And I'm aware that once I got things set up then it would become easier - I mean doing the administrative stuff.'

They were silent for a while then. It was hot and still and the sun was bright, but they were sitting mostly in the shade of an ash tree. Vibeke poured cups of tea for them and handed Ember hers.

'What about your work?' Ember said. 'Are you happy with what you are doing?'

Vibeke gave her a little shrug and for a moment did not know how to answer. 'I quite like most of the work. I think my frustration is that it can be quite restrictive and I do not like listening to other people. I don't mean that I am uncooperative, only that I am not really interested in their plans and often think they are not good. I like working with Felicia and we've come to know each other a lot better over the past six or eight months. There's more to her than I thought. But I don't really like the boss. I'm glad he's not often there.'

'And you don't know what else you would do,' Ember said.

Vibeke shook her head. 'I think that in some ways it would be more difficult to set up such a business of my own than it would be for you to become self-employed,' she said. 'I wouldn't have guaranteed customers at the beginning and we couldn't afford the space for a nursery anyway.'

Ember nodded, seeming to consider for a while. 'You could do the books while I make dresses,' she said.

'I guess so. I'd like to work for you, but you'd be doing more work than me.' She chuckled then. 'You make more money than me as it is. If I worked for you I would be your assistant. I actually quite like that idea.'

Ember reached out and rubbed Vibeke's bare forearm. 'Well, let's think about it,' she said. 'I would be concerned about you having a job that is not physical though. I don't think sitting still really suits you except when you're physically tired.'

'You're probably right,' Vibeke agreed.

---------

Chapter Twenty-Two

Sea Monsters

Wednesday 20th June, Year 2 :

'I really didn't expect to end up here,' Vibeke said as they sat upon towels upon the sand, in the warm, early afternoon sunlight.

'No, it did not seem likely,' Ember agreed as she lay down, settling herself on her back to bask in the sun.

'But it's fantastic.' Looking along the deserted beach of white sand she wondered at how amazing this place was. It was hard to believe that it was part of Britain. She knew, of course, that the weather here on the west coast of Scotland was often far from good. But today, at least, they had had luck - so far. She suspected it would rain later though.

They had driven here from home in four days, taking their time with two fairly long walks - in Yorkshire and Northumberland - and doing some fairly random and slightly bizarre sight-seeing on the way. They had stayed in a couple of motorway inns and a bed and breakfast. Last night and the night before they had camped in a secluded area around the ridge of a mountain - about two hundred yards from a layby where they could leave their car. They had left their tent up and tonight they would be sleeping there again.

Vibeke sifted some sand between her fingers. Although it was dry, it was quite hard packed and there was little in the way of ripples in it. It was very pale - almost white. At the back of the beach there were some low scrubby plants and then some stunted pines. To the north there was a sweeping headland that led out towards some islands. More islands could be seen out to sea, including a couple that were like rounded mountains thrusting from the sea. The water was grey-blue, shimmering with reflected sunlight. There was cloud in the east over the mountains inland and more cloud to the north, but out over the sea there were mostly clear skies. The wind was gentle but blowing to the south.

Ember was lying on her back on her towel, with her small backpack under the towel as a pillow. She was wearing sunglasses that Vibeke thought looked rather cute - she was often struck how Ember managed to look at one moment like an artistic, sophisticated woman and at the next became adorable and charming. A short white top exposed her belly and she was wearing beige shorts. Her feet were bare - she had taken off her walking boots and socks - and slightly dusted with sand. After watching her chest rise and fall for a few moments, Vibeke saw she was very relaxed and wondered if she was on the edge of falling asleep. For a while she simply watched, a small smile playing upon her face. And she saw that a smile was tugging at Ember's lips too.

Vibeke sat for a while longer, simply enjoying the peacefulness and wonder of the day. There were a couple of boats - fishing vessels perhaps - out to the southwest. She watched as a couple of sea-gulls banked and dived low over the water, then soared again. On the water close to an area of rocks she could see a couple of birds bobbing and diving sometimes. She did not know what kind of birds they were but she admired them for a while.

She took out her digital camera - small, simple, inexpensive - and took a few photographs of the surroundings - though she did not get up not least because she did not wish to disturb Ember. Ember was a better photographer than her she knew - for herself her pictures were as much to help her memory and appreciation of where she had been and things she had seen, which would remind her in turn of conversations and touches and thoughts she shared with Ember. She always kept her journal up to date for the same reason: it helped her both to savour things and to think about them and to lock them more clearly into her memory. Alertness and awareness were things she had cultivated greatly since she had met Ember. She had learned to fall into a moment, to be aware of little but a sight or sound or place, to be as aware of Ember as possible, drinking in her form and voice and movement and presence and scent.

At length, realising that she felt almost giddily happy, Vibeke lay down as well and made herself comfortable. She reached out and let her fingers rest lightly upon Ember's, savouring the light contact. Ember's fingers lifted slightly, brushed against her, and became still again.

Closing her eyes, Vibeke concentrated first upon what she could feel - Ember's light touch, the press of her head and body against the towel, the warmth of the sun upon her skin, the coolness of the breeze upon her face and bare feet. She was aware of the scent of the sea, of seaweed and salt, and of some slightly resinous scent from the bushes or pines at the back of the beach. Next she listened to the sound of the waves, little more than a gentle lapping because of the calmness, and to the sounds of birds, and to the sounds of the air flowing over her and through tough dune grasses and shrubs and pine needles.

After fifteen minutes or so she drifted towards sleep. As she did so strange images flitted through her mind combined with words and sentences that did not make sense. She had a sense that she recognised some of the things that she saw and heard - and especially felt. These dreamlets seemed profound in some ways though she was mostly only partly aware of them. They were also very pleasant and, in a moment of greater wakefulness, she thought that perhaps even the most hidden parts of her mind including whatever fears she had were gradually being filled and transformed by the deep power of her love for and being loved by Ember.

And then her awareness drifted away or her memory of what she experienced narrowed to almost nothing; and she fell into a light but peaceful sleep.

----------

Ember woke and soon sat up, feeling slightly disoriented. She had the sense that she had been asleep for about half an hour. Blinking her eyes and taking off her sunglasses, she saw that Vibeke was asleep. A glance at her watch showed her she was right. It was just before three o'clock.

Though it was still sunny, the clouds in the north were drawing closer and the air over the sea seemed to be becoming rather hazy as moisture gathered.

Reaching for a bottle of water, Ember took a few gulps and rubbed a few drops into her eyes. Then she climbed to her feet and walked away down the beach and towards the water. The slope of the beach was gentle and the distance from water to the rising, overgrown area at the back was about a hundred feet. Ember smiled as she felt the sand against the soles of her feet and between her toes.

For fifteen minutes she strolled - though she always stayed close to Vibeke - and paddled in the lapping water a little. When turning back she saw that Vibeke was sitting up and watching her. She smiled and gave her a little wave.

'Hi,' she said, after walking back up the beach to her.

'Hi yourself,' Vibeke said, reaching for some water to drink. 'Would you like to go for a walk up to that headland and maybe to the next beach?'

'That sounds good,' Ember said. 'I think it's going to rain though. Not that I will mind much if it does.'

Vibeke climbed gracefully to her feet and embraced Ember, holding her close. Ember laid her head against Vibeke's shoulder and upper chest and breathed her in, aware of salt and her scent. She snuggled closer, grinning in contentment.

----------

Vibeke and Ember walked for a little less than an hour as they went north, going slowly and exploring rock-pools and the creatures therein, stopping to pick up interesting shells and stones, watching birds and generally taking their time. Then they walked back the way they had come, and as they reached the place where they had slept earlier it began to rain - just a fine drizzle that was a little misty. Vibeke took her umbrella from her pack and held it up over both of them. To the south the last of the clear sky was swallowed up and the day became quite grey, though still quite light.

'Would you like to take a swim?' Ember said, looking across at her mischievously. 'The water is probably rather cold but . . .'

Vibeke was surprised. She looked into Ember's eyes and felt uplifted by the light and energy that she saw there. 'I would like that very much,' she said. 'What the hell, it'll be fun swimming in the rain. Walking back to the car afterwards might be a bit chilly but it'll mean that drying out will be fun.'

They spent a few minutes setting their packs down on the sand at the top of the beach under their umbrella making sure nothing would be blown away by the wind. They undressed quickly and put their clothes within their packs. Then they ran hand in hand down to the sea. It was strange and enjoyable, Vibeke thought, that they felt such a sense of urgency. There was also a stronger wind now.

And then they were running into the waves, skipping through the tops of them and then lowering themselves into the water. It was indeed cold - they would not be able to stay out for long. The sandy ground sloped away only gradually so that they were in rather shallow water at first, but then they made their way further out and even as they became aware of rocks and seaweed underfoot they found that the sea bottom fell away quite quickly. Then and they were swimming and treading water as they held onto each other and savoured the sensations of effort and water and cool air and lightly falling rain.

'It's getting darker,' Ember said as she surfaced from a short dive to the bottom.

'It's amazing how there are areas of warmer water and colder water,' Vibeke said.

'Or rather, cold and even colder water,' said Ember.

They swam just a little further away from the shore. For a moment Vibeke imagined them to be heading towards one of the islands that was several miles away. Then she halted and turned to Ember. She suddenly became very aware that she could easily tow Ember a considerable distance if it was necessary. The thought seemed rather ridiculous - they were still quite close to the beach, and Ember was a strong swimmer and she did not doubt that she would say they should head back if she felt tired or too chilled. But still she felt protective of her.

Ember smiled widely. 'This is great!' she said, her voice full of joy and her eyes full of light. Her hair was slicked back from her head and Vibeke was struck by how the shape of her face and head were so beautiful to her.

Vibeke looked up at the darkening sky and back towards the shore. The areas beyond the sand were becoming obscured as the rain fell more heavily. The waves were also becoming a little larger in the wind. Then she looked back at Ember. 'Yes, it really is,' she said. She found a sense of well-being surging up from within her. It felt so amazing to be in the sea, swimming with Ember, enjoying her presence and the sensations of water and wind and rain.

'I feel so very alive!' she said loudly, grinning. And she held onto Ember, taking just a little of her weight. 'I think it's time to go back,' she said.

Ember nodded. 'Yes, I'm getting cold. And I feel rather hungry too,' she said. 'I think we might have a very good meal tonight.'

A couple of minutes later they walked up out of the water and onto the beach, shivering beneath the now pouring rain, heading back to their packs and clothes.

----------

The walk back to the car was chilly but no more difficult than they had expected, and their good moods and light humour certainly helped them.

'I think I'm glad to be completely wet through rather than only partly wet,' Ember said. 'It makes me feel rather free somehow.'

At last they were back at the place where they had left their car. Quickly they climbed in out of the downpour.

'I was going to suggest drying off but I think we might do better just to drive back to the layby, head for our tent and get dry once we're there,' Vibeke said.

'Let's do that,' Ember agreed even though she was shivering. And then she started singing a fairly arbitrary rendition of the song: 'Clyde the Cat Fell Down a Hole.'

----------

'Aaaahhh!' Ember said as she threw herself through the opening of the tent and turned and ended up sitting by the back wall of the tent. She had left her boots outside under the fly-sheet. Now she began to squirm out of her wet clothing while trying not to make their sleeping bags and pillows and sleeping mats too damp.

Vibeke almost fell into the tent after her. A hissing and patter of rain fell upon the outer cloth and gentle gust of wind made the structure tremble and sway but not too severely.

After a couple of minutes they had managed to divest themselves of all their wet clothing and put it in a plastic bag, towelled themselves dry, and climbed into their combined sleeping bags so that they might lie together.

'Oooh, that's nice,' Ember said. 'Damn, I'm all covered in goose bumps.'

'Me too. Let's just lie here until we get warm.'

It did not take too long. And then - and Vibeke realised that she had really expected it - Ember rolled on top of Vibeke and kissed her deeply and then slid down her body until she was suckling upon one of her breasts.

She looked up after a moment. 'I might be here for a while,' she said.

Vibeke chuckled and sighed. 'Take as much time as you want,' she said, feeling a flush of heat across her chest and a liquid warmth at her centre. 'Though I might wish to spend twice that much time with my face buried between your legs later.'

As Ember returned her attention to Vibeke's breasts she forgot her thoughts and found herself falling deeper and more powerfully into a need and depth of desire and experience such that she felt as if her mind was coming apart. Her emotions and awareness deepened in a way that was visceral, absolute. She was drowned in her awareness of Ember's scent, sweat, tenderness, the softness of her breasts, the taste and heat of the wetness that flowed from her, the beauty of her centre.

---------

There was a hint of light but it was muted.

'There is mist and the clouds are low and the rain is falling, but it is June in northern Scotland,' said Vibeke. 'Are there even three hours of darkness each night?'

They were sitting up in their sleeping bags, warm and happy, dry and comfortable. They were enjoying the pleasant sense of lassitude after their long love-making. They had completely missed their intended evening meal of the day before, had slept longer than they expected and now it was two o'clock in the morning. Neither of them thought they would sleep again for a while and they were happy to be up.

Together they prepared a small meal though they were not sure if it was an evening meal, a night snack or an early breakfast.

'Damn, my body is confused,' said Ember. 'But very happy,' she added.

They had bread and butter and some crackers and cheese. They ate a couple of chocolate biscuits each. They boiled a large pan of water to make cups of tea. They ate and drank with much enjoyment.

Afterwards they sat cross-legged in their sleeping bags and Ember told Vibeke a story. The light about them seemed to be retreating and the light rain became heavier.

'Did you know that two sea-monsters live in the deeps not far from the shore just where we were swimming?' Ember asked.

Vibeke shook her head, amused and gladdened by Ember's way of starting her tale.

'It's true,' Ember said. 'They are ancient monsters that are really quite friendly but they are misunderstood by the few fishermen and the hunters for whelks and mussels that see them. In some ways their existence is sad because all that they have is completely invisible to others. But in other ways it is amazingly joyous because they love each other and love the sea in which they live.'

Vibeke wrapped her arms around Ember as she spoke. She listened, basking in the sound of her voice, her low and sensuous tones, her manner and gestures.

At length, though she was not sure how it happened - and she was not sure that Ember knew either - she found herself lying back with Ember in her arms, still holding her close. Ember already appeared to be asleep but Vibeke thought she would stay awake just for a little while.

Soon enough she fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep that was infused with an amazing sense of well-being.

----------

Chapter Twenty-Three

Bonfire Night

Sunday 4th November, Year 2 :

Ember was standing in front of the mirror and had just tucked her long-sleeved white blouse into her comfortable and well-worn jeans. She closed the buckle on her slim belt of braided brown cloth, then slipped into a cardigan of loose-knit wool that had a pleasing and simple pattern of cream and brown. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she stepped into and laced up her beige, suede walking boots which she always thought looked good on her.

Standing up again she brushed out her hair after a close inspection of her face she decided that she would do without make-up this evening. Not that doing without make-up was a rare occurrence for her.

She turned as Vibeke entered the bedroom from the hall. 'Hi,' she said, smiling.

'Hi,' Vibeke replied, her eyes warming at the sight of her.

'Do I look all right?'

Vibeke looked her up and down and Ember knew from her expression that she looked more than all right. The problem - or good thing - was that she knew Vibeke would see her in a positive light in most things.

'You look great,' Vibeke said. 'Mrs Waechter will be really happy to see you and I'm sure she'll think you look great too. And then we'll be out walking in the dark.'

Ember glanced out of the window. It was barely mid-afternoon but it was gloomy and grey. Leaves were falling from the trees and piling up on the lawn. She thought that the colour of the leaves that remained on the birch and ash that she could see was very pleasant.

Then she turned back to Vibeke, who was wearing paler jeans and a black turtle-neck pullover. She had tied back most of her hair but left some free at the front and sides. Her face was pale and beautiful in the near-monochromatic light.

They put their arms around each other and Ember felt, as she always did, as if she was suddenly infused with a sense of peace and wrapped around by safety and love. It was a while before they parted. The day was quiet and still - a day of calmness but also of alertness.

At length they stepped back from each other. 'I'll just make us a flask of soup and we can go,' Ember said.

They went into the kitchen together. While Ember looked in cupboard and inspected what kinds of soup they had, Vibeke took down a saucepan and set it on the stove. 'We have cream of leek, chicken noodle, asparagus, and mushroom,' Ember said. 'And croûtons to add of course. Any preferences?'

'They're all good,' Vibeke said.

'I have to admit I'm pretty indifferent too. All right, let's make it random.' She counted the packets. 'Give me a number from one to eight.'

'Small fluffy lamb with a cute black face flying on a small blue cloud and playing an electric organ.'

Ember bumped her with her hip and chuckled. 'Hmm. Good choice. Chicken noodle it is.' Then she proceeded to tear open the packet and pour its contents into the saucepan, add cold water and mix it then set it down on the lit gas stove. 'You liked the real soup I made a few weeks ago,' she said, musing. 'I guess it was all right. It took some time but maybe I'll try again and try to make some in a larger quantity.'

Vibeke wrapped her arms around Ember from behind as Ember stirred the pot. 'If you give me instructions, maybe I could try too.'

----------

Twenty minutes later they were in the car and heading to Mrs Waechter's place. They had brought coats because it was rather chilly, though they did not wear them in the car.

'I like this weather,' Vibeke said.

'Me too.'

'How are you finding the driving?' Vibeke asked then, though it was only a few minutes to Mrs Waechter's place.

'I like it,' Ember said, glancing across at her before changing down a gear as she slowed at a rising curve. I'm glad I finally got around to taking the test. You were a pretty good teacher, I must say. Very patient.'

'I was impressed by how easily you took to it. Do you know how often I feel so proud of you that I wonder if I'm going to burst?'

Ember grinned but did not reply, and a couple of minutes later they pulled up in front of Mrs Waechter's house. Ember parked the car and turned off the engine.

After climbing out, Ember looked at Vibeke across the top of the car and said: 'It's amazing, the scent of autumn. I really like it. It's so evocative. I feel as if I'm about to remember the most incredible secrets and delightful things from my childhood and from past lives that I have forgotten. At the same time it makes me feel so optimistic. Which, let's face it, I have every reason to be.'

Vibeke came around the car to her. She looked into her eyes and Ember was very aware of the warmth in her gaze, the pleasure Vibeke took in her pleasure. Vibeke's eyes were quite light in the grey, declining afternoon, the mauve colour very intense. 'We both do,' she said quietly. Then she took Ember's hand and they made their way up the short path to the front door. Ember leaned in, lifted and released the heavy brass knocker.

A moment later the door open and Mrs Waechter stood there, beaming at them.

'Hello Mrs Waechter!' Ember said.

'Hello dear girls,' she replied. 'Do come in.' She stepped back and gave Vibeke a brief but warm hug and then gave Ember one too. 'It is so good to see you. I am always so happy that you find time to visit an old woman like me.' She closed the door and then bustled past them. 'Come in, make yourselves at home. I'll just put the kettle on.'

Ember followed Mrs Waechter into the kitchen to help while Vibeke, not wanting to get in the way, went into the living room to peruse the interesting collection of books that Mrs Waechter had filling a large bookcase.

A few minutes later they were all sitting down and drinking tea and eating slices of a carrot and banana cake that Mrs Waechter had baked. Ember and Vibeke sat on the sofa together while Mrs Waechter sat in her usual comfortable and rather worn armchair.

'This is great,' Vibeke said after a couple of bites of the cake.

'Thank you dear,' Mrs Waechter replied. 'Now, tell me about this evening. I was meaning to check in the community newsletter for the details but I think I lost my copy.'

'It's a walk of about four miles,' Ember explained. 'There'll probably be quite a few people but we thought it would be fun with all the torches everyone will be carrying and the three hilltop bonfires to guide the way.'

'I'd like to go, but I think a walk over the hills might be a bit much for me since I hurt my ankle,' Mrs Waechter said acceptingly - there was no self-pity in her tone.

'Well, we can come back for you around half-past eight,' Vibeke said. 'We can drive there easily enough. And we'll make sure we get you to the main bonfire in time for the fireworks display. I think it'll be a pretty good one. I think it was a good idea that they decided to make it a kind of competition between different display organisers.'

'Should I bring anything?' Mrs Waechter asked.

'Well, we have some soup,' Ember said. 'You're welcome to share it with us.'

Mrs Waechter nodded. 'I'll bring three buttered rolls along and maybe one or two other things in case we're peckish.' She seemed satisfied with her decision.

'Tell me about your cards group and all your outings,' Ember said. She had always enjoyed it when Mrs Waechter told her of her 'adventures' with her friends.

'Well . . . There is one extraordinary thing that happened. We went to a certain art gallery where there was a remarkable display by a certain young artist of quite extraordinary talent,' Mrs Waechter began.

They talked at some length. Vibeke mostly sat quietly, listening. She always found it curiously calming and interesting when she heard the way in which Ember and Mrs Waechter chatted. Much of what they said might have seemed inconsequential but Vibeke was aware of Ember's attention to details and she was very aware of Ember's lovely voice and expressiveness.

---------

Vibeke and Ember walked towards the field at the edge of the town of Otterhampton where people were meeting before the walk. Vibeke was carrying her small pack but there was no need for Ember to carry a second one. They were both wearing their coats as the air grew chillier.

Vibeke watched as Ember kicked at some leaves with childlike enthusiasm, then came trotting back to her side and held her hand. She was grinning happily - but then Vibeke saw that she looked suddenly serious. After half a minute she said: 'What is it?'

Ember seemed slightly startled by the question - perhaps she had been deep in thought. 'I was just thinking about the exhibition. I'm glad I did it. It's also interesting that neither your nor Mrs Waechter pushed me in any way to show some of my pictures, but it was your confidence that gave me the confidence to do so.' She looked down for a moment then looked across at her and Vibeke saw the light of pleasure in her ice-blue eyes. 'I didn't think I really cared all that much what other people thought, which was why I never much thought about exhibiting my work before. I felt that I painted and drew just because I liked it. Which was true enough. Then I met you and I found myself pursuing my artwork with more enthusiasm because you liked what I did too. I certainly never wanted acclaim, though it is nice to know that people like what I do rather than dislike it. But I think what most startles me is the realisation that I was able to give some people some enjoyment. That is important to me. And I'm glad we made up those prints so that people could take home some full-size copies. I really didn't want to sell the originals, and we managed to keep the price really low for the copies.'

Vibeke gave Ember's hand a squeeze. 'I'm glad you're glad about the exhibition,' she said, then laughed a soft and happy laugh. 'I'm always glad when you're glad about anything.'

Half a minute later they rounded the corner to the entrance of the meeting field. There were quite a few cars parked in the road and to one side of the field and there were about a hundred people present, including quite a few excited children and two or three quite elderly people.

Walking in among them, Vibeke and Ember headed for a truck with an open back where people could pay a small price to buy torches for them to carry with them on the walk. There was a lit brazier beside it in which the torches could be lit. The torches would not last the length of time the walk would take so some people were buying more than one each, and not everyone would light theirs at the beginning.

Vibeke bought four torches for them and handed over the four pounds that they cost.

'All money goes to charity,' the burly, rather overweight and unshaven man who was selling the torches said cheerfully, and dropped the cash into a box with a white cross on it. 'It'll go to the children's home,' he said.

Vibeke decided to light the first two torches straight away and handed one of them to Ember. Then the two of them went to the edge of the crowd and stood there on the muddy grass watching the proceedings.

Within a few minutes there was the sound of a bell being struck and a man in a green jacket headed off across the field to where a footpath began. The people all followed him, straggling back in a long line of twos and threes and fours. Their torches flickered and sputtered and the smell of the smoke from them was evocative. Vibeke and Ember followed along almost at the back. The burly man who had sold the torches and a plump woman who was perhaps his wife brought up the rear, chatting in friendly and sometimes bantering tones.

Vibeke held Ember's hand; and looking at her, she smiled and saw the love that she felt for Ember reflected in her wonderful eyes. Then, for a while, they walked in silence as the people headed at a leisurely pace up a slope across the corner of a field that had been left fallow. There was a stream further up, flowing at an angle with a rickety-looking wire fence by it. Oak and beech trees grew regally in a woodland low on their right. Soon enough they were rounding a fairly rocky edge of the hill and the first of the hilltop fires that they were aiming for came into view.

Vibeke and Ember stopped for a moment and looked at the line of people, many of whom were carrying lit torches that sputtered and smoked, leading away along the curve of the path in the direction of the fire. The countryside all around was almost dark, the clouds just distinguishable over the hills.

'It's quite a sight,' Ember breathed.

Vibeke could not help but agree. 'I feel as if we have stepped into some fantasy world and a parade of clerics and acolytes marching towards the temples of ancient gods.'

Behind them the burly man and plump woman caught up with them. They too stopped and stared, not saying anything but simply taking in the view.

As they headed onwards, down the slope and around the hill, the man said: 'I think I've seen you two in town once or twice.' He had a pleasant, easy-going manner. 'I'm Pete, this is my wife Jennifer.'

'Pleased to meet you,' Vibeke said politely. 'I'm Vibeke and this is Ember.'

'Hi,' said Ember.

'You two really are quite striking you know,' Jennifer said then. Then she looked away slighty sheepishly. 'Sorry, I hope that wasn't too direct. I was just thinking aloud.'

'That's all right.' Ember looked at Pete. 'You said you were collecting for the children's home.'

'Yes, that's right. You know, Otterhampton's not a big place and I suppose the kids have it much worse in the cities but they're still pretty strapped for cash. The garden there is pretty small so it's good if the kids can be taken out for outings when it's possible, but that takes some organisation, time and money.'

'I grew up in a home like that,' Ember said quietly, and Vibeke caught the musing, contemplative tone of her words. 'I know it's not always easy for the children and also that it can be very difficult for the helpers and guardians. You know, sometimes one or two of the kids can be difficult or even traumatised, and occasionally a house-guardian doesn't really fit them and things can go wrong. But it can work well and I remember the support of one house-mother that really meant a lot to some of the children. I think she gave them a sense of lives to live, that she made so much possible for them when it had seemed impossible.'

As they walked, Pete and Jennifer listened to Ember talk a little more about her experiences. They were obviously very interested in what she had to say and Vibeke could see that they also were a little in awe in her. Ember was beautiful and intelligent and clearly had great depth. Her way of being, so earnest sometimes as well as charming, was nothing if not impressive. They seemed glad that such a remarkable woman could come from a background that was far from ideal.

'You know, if you ever want to be a mentor to any of the kids . . .' Pete said at length, trailing off uncertainly. 'I don't know if you have time or are interested and I don't want to be intrusive. But if you are, think about it and let me know. I'm sure you'd be really good at it.'

'You might have to endure one or two of them getting a crush on you of course,' Jennifer said.

Ember chuckled. 'Well, thank you for suggesting it. I will think about it. I'd be a bit worried because I don't have any experience with children.'

Vibeke suspected Pete and Jennifer were both wondering if Ember might want children, but neither of them said anything.

----------

The walk was pleasant, the pace not surprisingly gentler than Vibeke and Ember would usually have chosen. They passed one bonfire and the next. Pete and Jennifer talked to other people and most of the time Vibeke and Ember only spoke to each other. They had promised to keep an eye out for stragglers when Pete and Jennifer had passed them, and they had done so.

At length the walk curved back towards the field where it had started. To one side of the centre there was a huge pile of branches that would be set fire to for the evening's main bonfire. On the other side, beyond a long rope that had been strung between poles as a barrier, two men were checking and finishing setting up the fireworks that would be set off later. A small wagon that was selling hotdogs and chips and sandwiches was doing business at the entrance of the field.

Vibeke and Ember headed back to Mrs Waechter's place.

----------

The three of them returned to the field just as the bonfire was becoming a real blaze. Heat blasted from it such that the people kept their distance. It was really quite spectacular. There were more people in the field now and the children there were enjoying eating hotdogs or running around and generally being very excited about the fireworks that were to come.

Vibeke, Ember and Mrs Waechter chose a spot at one edge of the field by some trees to wait and watch a little away from most of the crowd. They drank cups of soup, stamped their feet against the cold, and Mrs Waechter told them about fireworks displays and November the Fifth celebrations she could remember as a child.

And then the first of the fireworks was set off, a rocket that shot up almost invisibly and then detonated with a small flash but a thunderously loud bang that boomed and rolled away over Otterhampton and the hills and fields around.

There were three displays, and all were nothing short of spectacular. The sky was lit with flashes and crackles and arcs and explosions of multicoloured light. Firework smoke drifted everywhere, its smell very evocative, making everyone remember former times of excitement. The crowd sometimes clapped, voices were raised, amazed, and children shouted out and spoke in wonder. And so did Vibeke and Ember.

'Damn, I really love the thunder,' Vibeke said.

'Those streamers of green sparks are so beautiful,' Ember said.

They looked at each other, grinning, holding hands, feeling like kids themselves.

---------

Chapter Twenty-Four

Christmas

Monday 2nd December, Year 3 :

Rain and sleet were falling quite hard and it was fully dark. A rather erratic but sometimes strong wind blew. As Vibeke cycled home along the country road she thought that perhaps today she really should have taken the car to work. Though her wet face felt bitterly cold and she was soon going to be drenched and generally uncomfortable, it was the wind that most disturbed her. She had to keep her speed down and on a couple of occasions stopped when a particularly strong gust threatened her balance.

Well, she thought grimly and with some amusement at her stubborn self for being so determined to cycle, the discomfort now would only enhance the pleasure of getting home and being warm and dry again.

It was half past six when she put the bike in the garage and hung up her cycling helmet. Then she hurried to the front door and was just turning her key in the lock when she faintly heard Ember call over the sounds of sleet and wind.

'Vibeke!'

Vibeke turned, grinning, to see Ember hurrying up the path towards her. She was wearing a red raincoat with the hood up, water running down over her, and her face was pale and wet.

'Hi, my love,' Vibeke said.

'Hi,' Ember replied, peeking up at her from beneath her hood, reaching out to take hold of her sleeve for a little contact.

Then Vibeke was pushing the door open and they hurriedly entered the hallway and the warmth and dry air.

They stood there looking at each other, smiling. Ember let go of Vibeke's sleeve and pulled her hood back from her head. 'I was a little worried about you,' she said. She was slightly out of breath - had probably been running a bit through the rain on her way home.

'I went very slowly,' Vibeke said. She reached out and cupped Ember's chilled cheeks with her hands. 'Let's get dry and warm,' she said. 'Want to take a shower with me?'

'Sounds great!'

Quickly they kicked off their boots, hung up their coats, ran down to their bedroom and took off the rest of their clothes. Then, damp and shivering, they hurried to the bathroom where Ember turned on the shower. Once it was warm enough they stepped under the falling water and held onto each other.

Somehow they ended up shampooing each other's hair and soaping each other's bodies and it became a generally pleasurable and decadent affair of sensual bliss.

After finishing their shower and drying themselves, they went back to their bedroom and climbed under the covers, still just a little damp. Luxuriating in the pure animal pleasure of the moment, Vibeke beamed as Ember climbed on top of her body and began to kiss her, holding her face in her hands, brushing her lips over Vibeke's, trailing her tongue over her lips and then sucking in her bottom lip.

Liquid fire ignited in Vibeke's lower belly and she held Ember close, running her hands across Ember's back and then around her sides. She was just about to roll Ember over so that she might pay much attention to her breasts when Ember seemed to have the same idea - sliding down, sucking at the pulse point on her neck, then kissing lower, gently squeezing her breasts and then suckling upon them.

For a long time they loved each other, wrapped up in each other's beauty and the pleasures of each other's bodies.

----------

Later, dressed in sleep shirts and slippers and wrapped in nightgowns, Vibeke and Ember prepared an evening meal of rice with fried, shredded chicken breast and spicy fried vegetables.

'You seem to be thirsty too,' Ember said once as they regarded each other over glasses of water that they had both drained twice.

'Hmm. We seem to have made quite an investment of warm and sensual wetness this evening.'

Ember giggled. She stirred the vegetables again and then turned back to her, looking Vibeke up and down. 'You look great! I still like you in your Clyde the Cat slippers very much.'

'And right now you are the essence of beauty wrapped in cuteness. Your rabbit slippers look great on you too.'

Soon enough they were sitting at the kitchen table, across the corner from each other at their regular places. They ate, both of them very hungry. It was later than they usually ate and they had exerted themselves quite a lot.

When the main course - of quite sizeable portions too - was finished, Ember dished up a heated, shop-made steamed golden pudding, with custard that Vibeke had prepared.

'This is really, really good,' Vibeke enthused as they ate.

'It certainly is.' Ember drank a little of her tea. 'It's so good to eat like this. Probably not a good idea to have quite such a large meal every day. I do like indulging sometimes though.'

'Absolutely.'

After sitting quietly, finishing their tea and digesting and chatting about their days - just simple things about what they had been doing and one or two customers they had met - they cleared the table and Vibeke washed up.

When Vibeke went into the living room afterwards, she found that Ember had retrieved their box of Christmas decorations from a storage cupboard.

'What a great idea!' Vibeke said. In truth she had just been about to suggest it. 'I'll bring a Christmas tree home from work tomorrow. The order was supposed to come in a couple of days ago but they'll be delivered tomorrow morning.'

'Let's get some of the lights up at least,' Ember said.

And so Vibeke put on a CD of some Christmas music - the first carols they had heard of the year - and they spent a happy little while putting up what they could. They put up two strings of lights, one over the television and stereo system and the other over one of the large bookcases. They also set out a few simple decorations: a couple of small, cute reindeer Ember had bought, some tinsel and a cluster of silver bells.

'Ready to turn on the lights?' Ember asked when they were done and had put the box and remaining decorations away.

'Let me just turn off the other lights,' Vibeke said, crossing to the doorway and hitting the switches. 'All right,' she said to Ember across the suddenly dark room.

Ember turned on the switches by the sockets they had plugged the lights into and suddenly the strings of lights lit up, deep red, blue, amber, deep green and deep mauve.

Vibeke crossed to Ember and they stood in the middle of the room, their arms about each other.

'That looks great,' Ember said as she snuggled into Vibeke's embrace, her head pressed against her shoulder as she looked at the Christmas lights.

And it did. Vibeke wondered at the evocativeness of the simple coloured bulbs. It was as if she and Ember might so easily just step through the most tenuous barrier and back into the wonders of their childhoods.

Vibeke realised of course that the wonders she had shared with Ember since she had met had been much greater, though so very different - much wider and deeper and less simple. Still the memories of childhood excitement touched them with quiet joy.

Saturday 14th :

Vibeke and Ember had driven through the morning and were now in Bath. Tonight they would drive to a bed-and-breakfast in the countryside to the east, but for now they were exploring the centre of the small city.

'These Christmas lights are really wonderful!' Ember said. 'I like the ones in Otterhampton just as much because they are a bit more subtle, but this really is impressive.'

Vibeke nodded, looking up and down the wide street - pedestrians only, no traffic allowed. The lights were strung between the lampposts, both along the way and across the way. Large patterns of lights hung over the centre of the road, one after another. Most of the street was divided into areas where one colour of lights dominated - red, green, blue, mauve, pink, orange, white - and Vibeke liked the idea. There were also a few trees, quite old and large and gnarled, that were impressively strung with smaller lights - dim blue or soft pink - right to the ends and tops of their branches.

Most of the shop windows had lights and decorations too. Christmas carols could be heard coming from the doors of some of them when people entered or left.

And there were many people on this Saturday afternoon when so many wanted to buy gifts for their loved ones, family and friends. Harried mothers, excited children, struggling but determined old people, impatient and patient men moving with purpose, young women browsing the window displays, families discussing what they might like, grandparents quietly selecting things for their grandkids, and most people carrying one or several shopping bags. Scents of the perfumes from a chemist mixed with the smell of fish and chips, carried on the cold air. It was just below freezing and everyone was well wrapped up, breath frosting in the air and cheeks, ears and noses red with the chill. Many loud discussions and excited calls and laughter filled the street. A baby cried and a mother rocked it and shushed it patiently. In the distance a boy's choir sang carols, most likely collecting for some Christmas charity; and closer at hand a plump, balding, rather ugly but very cheerful man was wearing a very unconvincing Father Christmas outfit, holding a donations box and collecting money for a children's home. Vibeke dropped a few coins in as they passed.

'How about we try over there?' Ember suggested, pointing to a stationary and art shop. They had bought Mrs Waechter a kettle - hers had seen better years - but also wanted to buy her a couple of photo albums and a few picture frames - Ember knew she had quite a collection of photographs but that they were kept in stacks in a drawer.

'All right, let's try it. And then maybe we can split up for a little while.'

Ember looked up at her, smiling. 'Yes, I think we should. And then after we put our purchases in the car, maybe we could go to the old church I want to see, and perhaps the museum of fine art? And then find a restaurant?'

'We are likely to have worked up quite an appetite by then,' Vibeke said.

Hand in hand, they crossed the road to the stationary shop and entered it, feeling the dry, heated air envelope them after the cold of outside. Once they had made their purchases they were glad to get out of the stuffiness and back into the fresh air.

'I really like this time of year,' Ember said happily.

Wednesday 25th :

Vibeke and Ember woke at seven-thirty. It was not yet fully light out and the day looked set to be grey and cold and still. After a trip to the bathroom Vibeke brought them mugs of tea and they sat quietly in bed together, propped up against pillows against the headboard.

Ember raised her mug. 'Happy Christmas Vibeke,' she said with a smile.

'Happy Christmas to you too my love.'

Ember found herself wondering at the strange quietness that seemed to be with them. She felt very aware of the day, of the morning, of being in bed with Vibeke, of the breakfast and Christmas dinner and Christmas tea they would have, of the decorations that they had around the house, of the presents that they would share by the tree. She was aware that today they would simply enjoy themselves, with only some washing up to do as a chore.

'It's quiet, isn't it,' Vibeke said, echoing her earlier thought.

'It does seem to be. I don't know why. It's not like the road is ever busy, and not many planes fly over.'

'We're even speaking quietly,' Vibeke said. 'I like this feeling.'

Ember ran her fingers lightly up and down Vibeke's bare thigh under the bedclothes. 'I like it too.' Then, after a moment: 'This is our third Christmas together,' she said softly, wistfully.

Vibeke lifted her hand and ran her fingers back through Ember's hair. 'Yes, it is,' she said.

---------

They had a simple but good breakfast: grapefruit segments, toasted croissants with butter and thick orange marmalade, and more tea. Sitting quietly at the table, with a string of Christmas lights over the window casting a colourful glow over the dim grey of the day, Ember enjoyed the atmosphere and knew that Vibeke did too. Sometimes they looked at each other with what seemed almost like shyness, and certainly vulnerability, but they much enjoyed the sensitivity of their emotions and their awareness of their togetherness. A single Christmas table ornament with a flickering tea-light candle sat in the centre of the table, and Ember found herself staring at it from time to time; and also watched as Vibeke stared into it, finding herself fascinated by the beauty of Vibeke's eyes as the dancing candlelight was reflected in them.

At length, finished with their meal, Vibeke washed up while Ember put the turkey in the oven to cook. They had prepared their Christmas dinner the previous day, as much as was possible, peeling potatoes and sprouts and parsnips, getting sausages and bacon rolls ready, making gravy, choosing a bottle of wine - though they only had two bottles in the house so it was not difficult. Today it all just had to be cooked or heated and served or poured, which would be simple enough as long as they kept track of the time.

-----------

In the living room they settled down to open their presents, sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. A CD of Christmas carols played softly, the Christmas lights were on, the scent of the tree was great, and three candles burned, flickering and pleasant.

Vibeke glanced about her, feeling very happy and content. She felt as if there was nothing more she could possibly want than what she had.

'I notice we've gone for comfortable but dressed this year,' she said then, looking herself and Ember up and down. They were sitting cross-legged, Vibeke's right knee touching Ember's left.

'Yes. I'm not sure how that happened. We went for dressing gowns last year without discussion either. At least, until just before lunch.'

They turned their attention back to the presents. There was a small pile of them, from just the two of them to each other. They would visit Mrs Waechter tomorrow to exchange gifts.

Vibeke reached for a present to give to Ember, and stole a glance at her love as she did so, feeling a warm glow of delight when she saw Ember's anticipation.

'This is really exciting,' Ember said as she reached for a present to give Vibeke. 'I wonder what you're going to think of . . . Well, here you are. I think that can be the first thing to unwrap.'

And so they took turns with the few presents they had chosen for each other. There was nothing very expensive and the gifts were chosen for what they meant or because they were useful, a mixture of humour and tenderness and thoughtfulness determining their choices.

When they had finished opening their gifts and Vibeke had put the wrapping paper in a bag to be thrown away, she turned to find that Ember had neatly set her gifts from Vibeke upon the coffee table except for a scarf that she was holding upon her lap. She was sitting with her back to the sofa now, her legs straight out in front of her, and she was staring at the scarf, her head a little bowed.

Vibeke watched for a moment, startled when she saw Ember's shoulders twitch in a sob and heard a small sniffle. Settling down beside her, she ran her fingers through her hair.

'Hey,' she said gently. 'Are you all right?'

Ember nodded once, then looked up at Vibeke and smiled, seeming a little embarrassed. Tears welled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She laughed softly at herself, and Vibeke brushed the tears from her cheeks.

'Sorry,' she said. 'I was just . . .' She looked down, sniffled, and patted the scarf - soft, simple black with a dark green weave that was slightly reflective. 'I was thinking about you going into a shop and choosing this. I know it is not so remarkable. I know that people buy things all the time. But you went into the shop and bought this for me. And I could see it clearly in my mind. It is so simple yet I felt so connected to you when I thought about it. So marvelling that you would do this simple thing. It is amazing. We are part of each other.'

Vibeke smiled. 'Yes,' she said tenderly. 'We are.' And she felt her heart swelling with astonishment that this sweet, loving, remarkable, beautiful woman had given her so much. She marvelled at the fact that she was so lucky that she could spend time with her, and give her all that she could as well.

Ember, shaking her head in amusement at her overspilling emotions, found a handkerchief and wiped her eyes and then gently blew her nose. 'Silly me,' she said.

'Not at all,' Vibeke said, pulling her close. 'I love you for it. I love you for your sensitivity and all that you all.'

And Ember rested her head upon Vibeke's shoulder and they sat that way for a long time, in the glow of the Christmas lights against the dark stillness of the day, with the carols playing softly in the background. Yet Vibeke was most aware of the press and warmth of Ember's body against her, of her breathing and the beating of her heart; and she more than suspected that Ember's awareness was mostly of Vibeke.

----------

They cuddled quietly, curled up together on the sofa for an hour or so before they set about finishing making and serving their Christmas dinner. It was fun to check the turkey's progress in the oven, to add potatoes to roast, to boil the vegetables, to put the Christmas pudding in the microwave ready to be heated up.

Amidst wonderful smells of a meal that promised to be excellent, they served up two large plates of the main course and sat down at their customary places to eat. Ember poured wine for them and they toasted each other.

'Happy third Christmas,' Ember said, beaming.

'Happy third Christmas,' Vibeke replied.

They clinked glasses, and sipped. And then they set down their wine and dug into the sizeable meal.

After the main course, after they finished washing up and drying the pots and pans, plates and knives and forks, Ember set the Christmas pudding to heat. As she turned her back to the microwave and waited, she held Vibeke's hand and ran her thumb over its back. Looking up she said: 'You know, although we could have tried to make a Christmas pudding ourselves, it does seem like it would have been a rather daunting task. I'd like to make one one day, but . . .' She trailed off.

'I'm sure our shop-bought one will taste good,' Vibeke said. 'And you're right. Making one kind of terrifies me in fact.'

Five minutes later, they sat at the table, doused the steaming and hissing Christmas pudding in brandy, and set light to it. For a little while they stared into the large, flickering blue flame until it went out. Then Ember served two large portions for them. With cream and brandy butter they marvelled at how good the rich pudding tasted.

Finally, after cups of tea, they sat and stared at the remains of their meal. They were full, content, replete.

'I am very full,' Ember said with amusement.

'I think I ate enough to last me a month. But that was really very good.'

'Let's just sit here for a little while. I think I need to digest. Then once we clear up, it'd be good to go for a walk. Is there any particular route you'd like to take?'

Vibeke considered this. 'Actually, yes. We have three routes that we run in the mornings, and I'd like to go across all three of them and up to the top of the wooded hill beyond the bridge. We've never actually been in there.'

'That sounds great!' Ember said enthusiastically. 'Maybe at the centre of the wood we might uncover some great mystery. Maybe there is a portal that, if we step through it, will transport us to other ages - medieval times or antiquity.'

'Or maybe we will discover an alien that has been living in the trunk of a tree for the past couple of centuries.'

Ember giggled. 'As long as it's not a green alien.'

'Why not green?'

'They're usually mischievous and malicious. Yellow ones and pink ones are usually more friendly. Unless they have three antennae of course.'

'Oh. Of course.'

Vibeke :

We walk up towards the top of the hill. The trees around us are dark in the grey of the day. Many of them are very large and perhaps quite old. There are oaks and ashes and beech trees, all skeletal. In some places there are younger birches growing quickly in the spaces where other trees have fallen, their bare, slender limbs stretching upwards. There are a few pines and I amused myself on the way up trying to recall what I know of the different species thereof. And there is holly. I watch as you stop by one holly tree and carefully run your fingers over the sharp points of a dark leaf. There are a few clumps of berries on the tree and I suspect you may pluck some on the way back to take home as decorations.

I look at you as you look at the holly. You are wearing a padded beige coat of a canvas-like material with large pockets, large buttons and a hood. It comes to mid-thigh. You are wearing tight-fitting black leggings that reveal the strong shapeliness of your legs, and beige walking boots. And you wear the scarf that I gave you today, its green and black fitting well with the rest of your clothes.

I take in the paleness of your hair and the fairness of your face - quite light against the gloom of the day. There is a little colour in your cheeks and your breath frosts in front of you as you breathe. You are utterly beautiful, and I am fascinated by the light in your ice-blue eyes as you regard the holly.

Then you look up, into my eyes, and smile, and I am actually quite startled, so fascinated by and absorbed in watching you as I was. My breath catches and my heart beats more quickly for a few beats and a rush of emotion engulfs me. I find myself smiling back at you, though with a tender seriousness filling me. I feel as though I am falling in love with you all over again. And I am glad that I often feel like this and that it always amazes me.

You slip your hands back into your brown and white woollen gloves and take my hand, and we walk onwards.

Soon we are almost at the top. There is no path here, though we followed one for some time. The leaf-litter is thick and soft, there are roots and areas of soft earth, but the going is not difficult and the undergrowth not usually too thick.

You release my hand and jump a puddle, then step from one large root to the next until you can take a few skipping steps to the summit. I love watching your joy in the moment, your delight in being here. Then you turn back towards me and prop one arm against the trunk of a tree there and lean against it. You put your other fist on your hip and look at me with a happy expression.

'I'm first,' you call.

I raise an eyebrow as I near you. 'It was a race.'

'Yes,' you say innocently. 'Didn't you know that? Now you have to give me my prize or face the consequences of failing to reward me for my great achievement.'

'Really. And what kind of prize and what kind of consequence were you thinking of?'

You giggle. 'Oh, a hug would be fine in either case.'

I take a last step towards you and you shift away from the tree and we are in each other's arms. You press yourself against me and I feel your head against my shoulder and chest, your body along the length of mine, your sweet hair against my cheek, your arms wrapped around my waist and holding me tight. I hold you back and rub my hand up and down your back.

'Christmas love,' you murmur softly, just loudly enough to hear you.

'Christmas love,' I echo.

After a little while we step back from each other. And then we head back the way we came at a leisurely pace. It has been a good walk, long enough that we have burned some energy and given ourselves some alertness after our large lunch. It will be fully dark before we get back I think.

I am looking forward to a cup of tea. Perhaps then we will sit in the living room, I will put on a CD that you gave me, and . . . well, we will see. I have no demands on the day, just a sense of peaceful relaxation and a wonderful sense of you.

----------

Chapter Twenty-Five

Rain

Sunday 23rd March, Year 4 :

Vibeke and Ember walked hand in hand through the botanical gardens that had been opened the previous year - a new attraction in Otterhampton. In fact they were slightly outside the town and were laid out behind an old watermill. The millhouse was still there, a tiny museum, but its wheel was still and the deep stream it had once turned in had been diverted.

The day was cool, an erratic and chilly breeze sometimes blowing. The sky was cloudy, no blue sky to be seen. But Vibeke and Ember were glad to be here. They had been here twice before, once in the autumn and once in the winter.

'It'll be amazing in a few weeks,' Ember remarked.

Vibeke nodded. 'It will. I think they've been pretty careful to choose sufficiently different plants that it's attractive year-round though.'

'That's true. Just the evergreens looked good in the winter. I like the way its laid out too.' Ember regarded three paths laid out in square fashion, and another area of concentric circular paths, then a widening spiral. There were three little hills, a couple of ponds that narrowed and broadened again, and some secluded places behind young trees and a little hedging. There were also some rockeries, and plants growing in urns. It was not a large place at all but a great deal was there to look at and enjoy.

Glancing up, Ember noticed that Vibeke was looking at a couple of elderly women that were by one wall of the garden, looking closely at a climbing plant. They were wrapped up in woollen coats and their heads were grey. They were chatting animatedly and seemed caught up in the moment and in their conversation.

She squeezed Vibeke's hand. 'What are you thinking?'

'I was thinking that those two look happy. I don't know if they're a couple or sisters or friends. But it just made me think of us being together when we're old and grey.' She did not look unhappy at the notion but rather gladdened at the thought of all the good years they could spend together.

Ember leaned her head against Vibeke's shoulder for a moment. 'We'll enjoy every minute of it, right until the end,' she said.

'Yes,' Vibeke said softly. 'We will.'

They walked onwards. Sometimes Ember asked questions about certain plants and enjoyed listening as Vibeke described some of the characteristics of the plants' ways of reproducing, or of their life-cycles. She liked the detail that Vibeke could reveal and the plants became more interesting as she learned about them.

Then: 'How many of these plants did your nursery supply?' Ember asked.

Vibeke looked at her and smiled. 'Quite a lot. Maybe a quarter of them. It was good fun when we were discussing what might go best here according to the time of year.'

Ember considered that. After a while she said: 'Do you think you could have enjoyed being a professional botanist? I mean, looking for certain types of plants in the jungles of South America or the Australian outback, or working in a lab investigating the biochemistry or certain plants, or something like that?'

Vibeke thought about this for a little while. 'I'm not sure,' she said at length. 'I always found botany fascinating and wanted to understand a lot and appreciate what I was looking at, I'd rather grow simple and common plants that appeal to me than be involved in esoteric research. I'm sure that would be very rewarding but I guess I didn't think about it that much when I was studying as something I wanted to go into.' She shook her head and chuckled. 'I was never very ambitious,' she said. 'I have no wish to be.'

'Hmm,' Ember said. 'Me neither.'

Before long they came to a small structure, a gazebo with climbing plants growing up its stone columns and trellises, with small beds about it and three curious potted plants within. There was a single stone bench with a back, and there were wind chimes hung from a corner of the arched roof.

'Let's sit down for a while,' Ember suggested, tugging Vibeke over to the bench.

For a couple of minutes they sat there, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. Ember enjoyed the feel of Vibeke's lithe and powerful body against her. She could just feel the heat she radiated. And she listened to - and thought that Vibeke was also listening to - the pleasant and irregular clink of the wind chimes as they were caught by the erratic breeze. Though the weather was chilly Ember felt very warm inside.

It started to rain then, not hard, just a drizzle at first. Neither of them made any move to leave - in any case it was not far back to the car. They just watched, and listened as the rain fell upon plants and earth, concrete and stone. They heard the splashes of drops on water, and the almost imperceptible hiss against the roof above them.

As the minutes past the rain became a little heavier, steady but far from a downpour. There was no one else to be seen in the part of the gardens that was visible to them. The light had become very soft and grey.

And then Ember beamed and looked up into Vibeke's amethyst eyes as Vibeke put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

'Always,' she said.

'Always.'

And Ember felt tears in her eyes and blinked them away as she laid her head upon Vibeke's shoulder and wondered and was amazed by the perfection of the moment, of the bliss that she felt, of the profound happiness she felt at all that Vibeke was.

They stayed that way for quite a while, just listening, holding each other, enjoying the cold air and the dampness and the warmth of each other. After about three quarters of an hour, Vibeke stirred and sat up straighter, though she did not let Ember go. As she did so, Ember realised that the rain was easing off to the finest drizzle and then just a few spots. A fine mist hung in the air, mostly diffuse, though low over the ground the air appeared to be clear, and above head height it seemed clearer as well. Ember watched as it drifted and changed direction in the lessening wind. Perhaps as evening drew in the air would become quite still.

'How about we have fish and chips for dinner?' Vibeke said at length. 'I'm getting hungry.'

'That is a fantastic idea,' Ember said enthusiastically. She turned slightly on the bench. 'Do you know what kind of fish they have, and where they are caught and what they taste like? I don't know much about it though I've eaten fish and chips often enough.'

'No, I don't,' Vibeke replied. 'I don't know where the usual fish come from. And I can only think of cod, plaice, haddock . . . There must be a few other types I guess. I wonder if deep frying them blurs their flavours and makes them similar to each other. Or maybe that's the point. They still taste really good.' She chuckled. 'Maybe we can find a fish and chips connoisseur to tell us more.'

Vibeke stood up and then drew up Ember up after her. They stood for a moment, straightening their coats. Then they looked out.

'I'm glad we came here,' Ember said.

'Me too.' Vibeke smiled and took Ember's hand and said: 'Let's go.'

They made their way back through the gardens, stopping just a couple of times to look more closely at some crocuses that bobbed vivid yellow or mauve under the weight of glimmering raindrops and the stirring of the gentling breeze; and at a tree that neither of them recognised but which seemed quite exotic.

Then they left the gardens through the main gate and returned to their car. They took off their coats, buckled their seatbelts, and Vibeke started the car and pulled out of the otherwise empty carpark.

They chose a fish and chips takeaway on the north side of Otterhampton - there were three in the town and they had not been to this one before. It took them less than ten minutes to get their. They ordered and paid, and waited on a bench to one side of the shop. They were delighted when their bundle of two fish and two portions of chips were handed to them. The enticing smells of deep frying fish and vinegar made them ravenous.

The drive back home was quick. Both of them were rather thirsty when they got there and drank glasses of water. At the kitchen table, Ember laid out plates and knives and forks, salt and vinegar while Vibeke unwrapped their precious food.

Then they sat across the corner of the table at their usual places, and ate.

'That was so great!' Ember said a while later as she sat back from her meal.

'It was. I'll make us a pot of tea. Then we can sit here and drink, and I have a feeling we may finish out food in a little while. Not that we have to. But it is really good.'

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Later, they watched television for an hour. Vibeke found her attention drifting and fell into a light but very pleasant doze. Nonsensical but strange and interesting and emotional half-dreams flitted through her mind.

When she awoke after half an hour or so she found that Ember was asleep in her arms.

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At eleven o'clock that evening, they went for a walk together. Having over-eaten - pleasant though it had been - and then slept, they had some energy to burn off and knew that doing so would help them sleep. The night was cold and clear and they stopped from time to time to look up at the bright stars in the dark vault.

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Continued in Part 3b - Conclusion

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