Disclaimers: See Part 1

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One Little Bit




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Part 9

During the last months of the pregnancy, Karen's body was too sensitive, and she also didn't feel good about the way she looked. Even though Addy reassured her that she was the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, she did not believe it because she did not feel beautiful. She was even wearing a long t-shirt to bed at night to cover her belly. Addy would still caress and massage her back, thighs and buttocks, but she didn't want to be seen nude, except at shower time when Addy would help her reach the unreachable parts. After the pregnancy, there was the time to recover from the c-section and then the scar had to heal.

All in all, for a couple that was normally very sexually active, several months of beating around the bush with mere touching and caressing had been difficult for both. It was two months after the baby was born that activities in that department fully rekindled.

The baby had been fed and put to bed. Addy was reading when Karen came to bed and snuggled to her. Addy removed her glasses and kissed her. Karen elongated the kiss, making Addy smile.



“You know that gift you have to make women happy?”

Addy smiled. “Um huh?”

“How do you feel about a demo?”

Addy grinned. She put her glasses and tablet on the night table. “Really? Are you up to it?”


“Are you sure?”

“I'm pretty sure.”

“I'll be gentle, let me know if…”

“Addy, when have you not been gentle?”

“Well, you know what I mean.”

Karen nodded. Addy turned off the light and began to kiss her and gently caressed her with her face.

“Addy!” Karen rubbed her face against Addy's.

“It's been so long, baby….I've wanted to touch you like this for so long!”

Karen ran her open mouth through Addy's face and neck, and using her fingers to caress whatever skin was left untouched by her mouth. She so loved caressing this woman. Addy's hands slowly moved south. Sensing every bit of the body that made her own tingle, Addy caressed and massaged her hips and thighs, and everything in between. “Umm, I've missed my blondie.” When Karen felt Addy's hand where she wanted it, she shivered and welcomed her touch.  

Addy's hands did more than just touch, they worshiped every centimeter of the skin under them. As she felt her way down, she began to place gentle, tiny, warm kisses on her jaw and neck slowly inching her way to the contours of her breasts. “God, Addy, you make me feel so good!”

Karen's fingers continued to gently and sensually brush Addy's hair as Addy caressed and kissed her skin.

“I know.” Addy's breath on her neck made her shiver.

“I've missed you, baby. I've wanted this for so long! How you make me feel, what you do to me …….” Karen moaned.

“Tell me what I make you feel. Tell me what you want.” Addy pleaded. But Karen couldn't speak. She was in pure ecstasy and just moaned in pleasure. Her tears were falling off the sides of her eyes as they fluttered. Addy was delighted to see her reaction. She wanted nothing more than to please this woman like she never had before.

She kissed parts that had been sensitive before. Karen emitted a moan of pleasure, not pain this time. “Is it okay?”

“Yessss, yes. Umm. Very much okay.”

Addy came up and smiled. “I think they are actually bigger now.”

Karen chuckled with tears in her eyes and slapped her on the shoulder. They kissed ferociously. Addy caressed her breasts and nipples, placing her lips over them, first one then the other. “Addy...umm”

Addy was not in any hurry, she wanted to go slow. She wanted to provide pleasure and take pleasure to make up for all the months of abstinence. She wanted Karen to remember tonight forever.

Ever so slowly, she continued her downward path and reached the area of the incision. She hesitated, uncertain of hurting or making Karen uncomfortable around this area. Karen noticed her apprehension. “It's okay, baby. I'll let you know if it hurts.” Addy smiled taking delighted on how well her partner knew her. “Just don't look at it too much, it's ugly.” Addy immediately came up and kissed her on her lips and all over her face. “I think it's beautiful.” Karen got teary again.

Addy talked to her, adoring her face and planting kisses all over it. “Ker, you are beautiful to me in every possible way. I love everything about you, even your scars. When I see them, all I see is your love for me. The one in your arm gave me my life when you rescued me from the lake. The one in your belly gave us our daughter, another life. You have given life to me twice! The two are intimately related to me. They are as much mine as they are yours. You have them because of me. They are engraved in my soul, as they are in your skin. I love you for each one of them, and I want to kiss them over and over again when we make love. I need to let you know that I love you more because of them.” Addy had tears in her eyes as she spoke. She meant every word of what she said and Karen knew it. They were both in tears. Karen placed her hands around her jaw and brought her lips to her. “Addy, I never thought, in my most wildest dream, that I'd find a love like yours.”

Their tears turned into kisses, and the kisses into a frenzy of passion that took over them, blinding their thoughts momentarily. Addy closed her eyes and paused realizing that this moment was not for her, but for Karen. Karen noticed the switch in pace. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. I want to love you slowly. I want to take my time enjoying you and pleasing you beyond the imaginable.”

“Addy….” Karen held her face between her hands and kissed her. “I don't know that I can wait! I want you bad!”

Addy chuckled, as she resumed the adoration of the body below hers, the body of the woman she loved. Their love making was never selfish. Their focus had never been on procuring their own pleasure, but on giving pleasure to the other. Tonight was all about Karen. About making Karen feel beautiful and desirable.

Addy loved to see Karen aroused. In bed with Addy, Karen had no restrains. She allowed herself to be totally vulnerable. She loved the way Addy adored every inch of her and how careful she was to be gentle around parts that had been fragile until now. Addy was the perfect lover, gentle but passionate. In her entire life no one ever had made her feel like Addy did. Who would have thought that this woman, who in her mind was still not certain that she was a lesbian, could love another woman with such passion and desire. My unique and absolute fantastic luck!

Addy knew when Karen was about to peak because her eyes turned a darker shade of green and her eye-lids fluttered in pleasure.  Addy adored the moment. Also, at that particular moment, Karen would start repeating Addy's name a million times in all sorts of tones and pitches. She repeated it over and over, as if she wanted to call out and reaffirm the source of her unbelievable pleasure. Karen grasped Addy's back and ran her hands all the way to her buttocks grabbing them with full force. Addy was just hoping that the little one wouldn't wake up and would allow Karen to have the full blown orgasm she needed. 

Addy gently caressed her thighs, brushing her fingers up and down her legs. She searched for all the known signs, sensing her every need, listening for her every want and fulfilling her every desire. Karen had her eyes closed enjoying the immense pleasure of the moment. Instinctively, she accommodated her, longing for more of her touch.

“Addy, please! I want ….oh, I need... .Addy!!!…”

“Yes, baby, yes!”

No sooner had Addy finished talking, it happened. Karen's body shivered and shook in an uncontrollable orgasm. When she climaxed, she held on to Addy with such force that she buried her finger nails into Addy's skin. As she came down from her high, she had tears in her eyes. “Addy….?”

“I know, baby, I know.” They kissed and cried together tears of love, of pleasure, of indescribable happiness. Addy combed Karen's sweaty hair back and kissed her a million times. Karen was so breathless she couldn't even return the kisses. She was exhausted, spent and happy. So many emotions crept up at once, after so long, after so much want. She could hardly speak. Addy loved seeing her like that, and continuously kissed her, holding her tight.

That night was extra special. The love making was gentle and long. Nothing was left unattended or unappreciated. After so many months of deprivation, feeling, sensing and loving each other was like a dream. At times they were unable to hold back tears seeing, feeling and enjoying each other. Fortunately for both, Alex slept through the night and the women were not interrupted.

“You need to sleep now. I'll take care of the baby if she wakes up.”

Karen was exhausted. “What about you?”

“Ssssh!” She kissed the limp body in her arms. “Tomorrow. Making you happy is more than enough for me.”

Before she closed her eyes and dozed off in the arms of her love, she whispered in her ear. “Baby…”

Addy didn't let her finished. Her lips silenced her and Karen succumbed to sleep. Exhausted, but fully satisfied.

Addy smiled combing the golden strands of hair back and kissing her angel goodnight.


Karen slept into the late hours of the morning. When the emerald green eyes opened at around noon, they smiled. The view was adorable. In the rocking chair next to the bed sat Addy, bottle in hand, feeding the little one and lovingly smiling at her. It was picture perfect. Karen remained quietly in bed simply enjoying the happy moment. For all the world had to offer, she wouldn't change this moment for anything.

Addy looked up and when she found the emerald green eyes looking at her, she choked.

“Good morning, sunshine. Did you sleep well?” Addy was all smiles. She knew Karen slept well, real well.

Karen grinned from ear to ear. “I think I'm still asleep and dreaming. You two look adorable. It's like she is also bewitched by you.” Karen was in bed, on her side, holding her head up with her hand and elbow.

Addy smiled. “Well, some of us have certain gifts….”

Karen smiled. “The one in your arms seems to agree also. You attract women like a magnet, Ms. Marcos.”

“Well, I only want to attract one and sort of distract the other one.” She looked at the little one in her arms. “She's so beautiful, Ker! I still can't believe that she's actually here, and that she's ours!”

Karen looked at her. “Is she asleep? Can you put her down in the bassinet? I think I would like to give you a certain gift I didn't give you last night.”

“Oh, yeah? What kind of a gift would that be?”

“The kind that keeps on giving until you tell me to stop.”

“Ooooh, say no more, let me see if the little bundle here stays ….don't move!”

Karen laughed and leaned back on the bed. “Oh, I'm not going anywhere! Hurry!”


Every night after they fed the little one, they spent the entire evening playing with her until she fell asleep. Karen was coming back from putting the baby in the bassinet. Addy was reading in the living room with her feet on the sofa. Karen lifted her feet and laid them on her lap and started to play with her toes.

“Not enough baby play for you today?” Karen grimaced and tickled her feet.

Addy screamed. “Ker!!!!!!”

“Ssssh! You'll wake her up! Please! Ssssh!” Karen tried to cover her mouth as she spoke.

Addy tried to stop her and in so doing brought her on top of her. “Umm! You smell like her.”

“I hope it's when she smells good!”

“You know what I mean, silly. I love the way my babies smell!”

Karen grinned and kissed her. “Addy, I think we should go back to the cottage.  I think we are all well and that it's time to go back. I miss home.”

Addy looked at her lovingly. Home what a beautiful word!

“Yes, baby, I think we are ready to go back.  I miss it too. Also, we don't fit here anymore with all the baby stuff.  Look at this place!”

It was true, for such a little someone, she certainly occupied a lot of space. Mainly it was because many things were required for her care.

“I don't even know if all this is going to fit in the cottage even with the new additions.”

Addy asked Sandy about redoing the baby's room off of their bedroom. However, adding a room above required adding a room below to support the structure.  So a recreation room was built in the back of the first floor. Also, a cover and a water alarm were ordered for the hot tub. Sandy was going to make the entire cottage child proof.

They hired movers to take all the baby's items back to the cottage, as well as their own. The furnishings in the apartment would remain there in case they needed to go back. If it was to be rented, it would be rented fully furnished.


Alex was already two months old when they returned to the cottage. Addy drove back the day they headed home.  “You better ride in the back with the little one, Ker. She might be frightened all by herself back there, especially because the car seat has to be facing the other way and she won't be able to see us.”

“Okay. When do we turn the car seat around to face the front?”

“I have to check again, I think she has to be a certain weight, it's not just an age thing. For now it's got to be this way.”

Addy started to drive and when she looked on the rear view mirror she saw Karen's smiley face.

“I kind of like the view in the rear view mirror.” All Addy could see looking in it were the gorgeous green eyes that hypnotized her to the core.

Karen bit her cheek. “Better look at the road. Don't want to get us killed!”

Addy smiled and continued to drive very attentive to the road. It was also nice to look from the back seat at the glitter in the brown eyes which discretely glanced back at her. The little one seemed to enjoy her mom's face as the green eyes were focused on the attentive smiley woman at the wheel.

When the cottage was visible from the distance both women smiled.  When they arrived, Addy got out of the car, but she noticed that Karen was still inside the car. Addy came over to Karen's side thinking that she needed help getting the little one out. Karen was not much of an expert on baby stuff.  

“What's wrong? Why won't you get out?”

Karen said nothing and slowly got out of the car after taking Addy's hand to stabilize her in stepping down. During the last months of the pregnancy and up until now Addy had taken a very protective role with Karen. It had always been the other way around. Karen had always felt like the protector. It was interesting to see Addy now taking care of her. Karen liked it. She never thought she'd like the pampering and the delicate gestures.

“You okay?” Karen looked at her and nodded. She then waited for Addy to take the baby out of her car seat and handed it over to her. All the time Karen kept looking at the cottage. When Addy started to walk towards the cottage, Karen grabbed her arm.

“Do you remember the day we moved in here?”

Addy smiled. “Yes, you couldn't get the door open and when you pushed it, you flew in door and all!” They laughed.  

Karen paused. “Do you remember what you said?”

“Umm! I said many things that day trying to convince you that this was home.”

Karen smiled. “Exactly! You said ‘I see love, I see a home here.' I think that was your best vision ever, Addy. Who would have thought?”

Addy was pensive now. “You know, Ker, even most shocking to me was when we first came for the reading of the will and you brought me over the hills to look at the cottage. Do you remember that I stayed behind and when you came back to get me you asked me what was wrong?”

“Yes, your eyes were full of tears and I remember that you said that you thought that you had been here before.”

“Yes. I felt like I had seen this place before, as if I had been here before. It was the strangest feeling.”

“Addy, do you suppose that we met in another life and that our love stems from the fact that we have found each other again, in this life?”

Addy became very serious. “I don't know. Aren't you the one always saying that you will find me in another life again?  Maybe this is that other life and maybe you have already found me.  Oh, Ker! Let's stop all this weird talk. It feels creepy, let's just go inside.  We need to settle in.  Come on, we'll talk more later. Just make sure that you continue to look for me in the next one also, okay? I want us to go on forever. I'll be waiting somewhere, you can bet your last penny on that!” I'd wait for you an eternity, if I must!

“You bet I will, Addypooh. I will find you always.” There's no life for me but with you!

Karen went inside with the baby and with her thoughts and teary eyes which Addy didn't see because she was busy trying to open the portable crib in the living room for Karen to lay the baby down. Once the crib was ready, Karen deposited the baby in it and she followed Addy outside to unload the car. Addy stopped. “Where do you think you are going?”

“To get stuff from the car.”

“No you are not!  You've just had your belly open and sewn back. You are not doing any lifting while I'm around!  You go back in there and deal with the unpacking when I bring the stuff in.”

“Addy, you are handicapping me again! I hate it when you do that! I'm fine.”

Addy came close and kissed her. “Precisely! You are very fine, and I want to keep you that way.”

“Ugh!  I hate to feel worthless!” Karen turned and sat on the sofa.  The little one was wide awake and was looking at her. “What are you looking at? The good for nothing here?” The little one didn't understand a thing, but when Karen opened her eyes, Alex got all happy and smiled and moved her feet and arms at an incredible speed. Karen couldn't resist and started to talk to her. “You seem to be the one having a ball! At least someone has a life in this house. Look at you! So happy…..”

“Worthless?  Are you nuts? You are precious, and I think the one in the crib agrees!”

Karen looked at Alex again and the minute the two pairs of green eyes met, little feet and little hands were again going wild.

Karen smiled. “Look at you! You are just as crazy as that one. I feel I will be in the minority here a lot. Addy, this child worries me, looks like she might get all discombobulated if she continues to move like that. Should I pick her up?” She never got a reply. She picked up the happy bundle and all of a sudden forgot her handicap. Oh God she's beautiful!

Addy smiled. “Much better. I'll be right back with work for you Ms. Good for nothing.”
Karen sat and wondered what had happened to her life and why she felt wonderfully different.  The little one was staring at her and she was delighted.

When Addy came back inside, she was loaded with bags, she found mother and child on the sofa playing. Karen was making all sorts of faces and the little one was even giggling. “Did you hear that, Addy? She's giggling! Oh my God! She's so fun!” Addy chuckled.

“Hey wanna take a look at the new additions.” Addy helped Karen up from the sofa and picked up the baby. “You just can't leave that child alone, can't you?” Karen smiled.

“No, can't do. You had her for nine months, the next nine are mine. You'll have to wait for your turn to come up again, right little bitty? Besides, she's mine, remember? You gave her to me!” Addy looked back in a ‘eat your heart out smile.' Alex was always happy in Addy's arms. Karen grinned. She absolutely adored how Addy was fascinated by the little one.

“Yeap, she's all yours. And you are both mine!” She grabbed Addy from the back and kissed her on the neck.

“That sounds like an acceptable arrangement.” Addy continued to walk with the baby in one arm and dragging Karen with the other. Karen followed smiling.

“I think Cindy and Sandy did a great job. I love the colors and the border is beautiful.”

“Hey, security freak, come here, I want to show you something I had installed. Stand right here.”

Karen gasped. “Oh It's amazing”

It was a monitor and camera on the baby's room transmitting to a small screen in their bedroom. The TV screen was portable so they could take it downstairs as well.

“You know, this didn't occur to me. I think you are becoming more of a security freak than I am, now that the baby is here. This reminds me that I need to make a statement. A house rule, if you will. To preempt any move in that direction.”

Addy frowned waiting to hear what Karen had to say.

“She's not sleeping with us.”

Addy laughed. “Well, I'm sure she's already heard all the sex talk….”

“Addyyyyyyy!!! I'm serious!”

“I'm kidding, baby, of course she's not sleeping with us! Except of course if there's a big storm and there is lightning and thunder and she's scared and cries out ‘Mommy? Can I come and sleep with you?' What are we going to say, ummm, ‘no sweetie you can't, your mom and I are naked in bed having sex, just put your head under the covers, you'll be fine.'”

Karen slapped her arm. “You are awful. But I‘m serious and I mean it! I know I never win around here, but this point is very important.”

Addy came from behind, held her and kissed her. “You always win, blondie, you always win!” The blondie was always thrown in to remind her that she always won and got what she wanted in bed both at the giving and at the receiving end. And, of course, since things were outstanding in that department, Karen never had more to say and just smiled.

After they surveyed the place and sort of organized some of the stuff they brought from the apartment, they made dinner put the baby to sleep and then settled in the living room to drink some tea. Karen lay back on the sofa and looked at her in a very sexy way.

“Are you looking for trouble, blondie?”

“No, I was just thinking that you do let me get away with a lot, don't you?”

Addy quietly smiled. “What has prompted this revelation all of a sudden?”

“Well, these past months you've been calling the shots and have been doing a remarkable job at it. I mean, normally you'd check things with me and don't act on your own, but it's not because you can't, it's because you don't want to. You get me involved and make me think it's my decision or my choice when in fact ……”

She couldn't finish. Addy launched herself on her capturing her lips and quieting her. She leaned over her and managed to turn her around so that she would be on top of her on the sofa. When all this maneuvering happened, Addy let go of her lips. “You were saying?” Addy smiled triumphantly.

“I'm on top because you want me on top, aren't I?

“It all depends how you view it. That's one way of putting it. Here's another way. You are on top because you have to be on top, because if you were down here I'd be hurting your belly. I don't want to hurt you, I want and need you to be happy, so I let you be on top and we are both happy. You also like being on top, which makes you happy and me even happier, so what's wrong with all or any of that?”

“Nothing. Absolutely, nothing. However, you look at this, I always feel like a winner. I have you, Addy. Nothing else matters.” Karen kissed her fiercely and they made love right there on the sofa. That sofa had seen a lot of action in its life time. They were very fond of it. In fact, when it was time to replace it, it was moved to the master bedroom and the love seat upstairs was disposed of.


JP called had called to check if they could come and visit the next day.  They would have wanted to do it immediately, but James thought that they needed time to acclimate at home and to settle the baby in and that the following day would be more appropriate. JP was not to agreeable with the idea, but realized that James might have a point. Addy said that tomorrow would be okay.  She had a surprise for Karen.

The following day at around 5 pm, the men arrived with a load of supplies.

“What is all of these?” Karen was curious.

“Nothing, go in there and show off your daughter. She frowned and went upstairs with JP who insisted in seeing his godchild.

“What is this godchild thing? Karen asked.

“Hush woman! Don't pretend you don't know, Addy told James all about it.”

“Jeez, there is no privacy anymore around here!  And I apparently don't count anymore either.”

“Tell that to the feisty brunette downstairs, I'm just the recipient of news.”

Karen was just kidding.  Addy would have never divulged something private without running it through her first, much less take a unilateral decision concerning their daughter.  They had talked about and agreed on JP and James being Alexandra's godparents.

Addy and James got busy downstairs. When all was ready, the duo upstairs was called down.  When Karen arrived in the kitchen she found a gigantic Martini glass sitting on the kitchen island.

“Welcome home, baby!”

“Oh my God! That thing is gigantic!  She went over to kiss Addy first and then the guys.  During the pregnancy, she kept talking about how much she craved a Martini but of course she couldn't have it, so Addy promised her that she could have one the minute they got home.  This was home and there it was, the promised drink.

“You guys don't expect me to drink this whole thing....hey I have to be a respectable mother, so come on scoop it into smaller cups and lets toast.”

The content of the big cup was distributed among all, and Karen made the toast. “To family!”

“Hear, hear!!” All repeated.

“To the most patient partner I've ever known, Adriana Marcos, you have my total respect and admiration!” This was James' toast.

They all took another sip while loving green eyes adored her precious one.

“To loving friends!” This was Addy's toast.

“To a gorgeous baby girl!” This was JP's toast.

Addy came over, hugged and kissed Karen. Karen had tears in her eyes.

* *

The next day, JP called again.  This time, he wanted to know if they could come over to bring the gifts people had dropped at the Manor.

“Sure, JP, stop by whenever you want to.”

Friends and many of the people in town wanted to throw a baby shower for Karen, but she had refused.  She excused herself saying that she didn't feel like partying.  The truth was that she didn't want to be seen with her humongous belly.  Towards the end of the pregnancy she had reduced her social outings to a minimum and then she was bed-ridden for the last month of her pregnancy.

Addy noticed a truck from the distillery pulling up and thought that it was perhaps a new driver who had made the wrong turn.  The distillery's entrance was two turns before the cottage.

She was surprised when she saw James get out of the driver's side and JP from the passenger's side.

Addy came out to greet them.  It was already May and the weather was very nice. “What's this? New car?”

“No, sweetie, just making your delivery.”

Addy went to the back of the truck as James opened the back door.  Her jaw dropped.

“I hope you have room for all these in there!”

“Shit! I'm glad we made that addition! Who is all this from?”

“Addy, I swear, I think we've even had people from other towns come with gifts.”

Karen was just arriving to the back of the truck, her jaw dropped also. “What in the world?”

“Gifts from people in town and surrounding areas.” JP replied

“You guys are highly regarded around here. I don't think there was a person in town that didn't show up with something!” James commented.

“Oh my God, Addy, where are we going to put all these?”

“In the new rec room until we sort it out.” The men and Addy spent a good deal of time unloading.  Karen was not allowed to carry anything, for which she again pouted.

“You want to do something?  Well you are going to be in charge of classifying gifts by type and size.  Go over to the rec room and wait for us to bring the stuff. This is a massive operation.”

A pouting Karen followed her orders.  “I don't know how this happened!  How come I never give orders anymore?” She walked away with JP following her. He was quick to join the classification team.

JP laughed. “Oh let them! We'll do our thing here.” JP seemed delighted. Karen looked at him and rolled her eyes.

“Looks like you and I are the muscle around here today, Addy.”

“Yeah! Let's get dirty James!”

James laughed. He loved Addy's remarks.

In the rec room, Karen was making some pronouncements. “We are going to have to make a list of people and their corresponding gift and buy ‘thank you' cards to send them.”

Addy couldn't resist and was quick to reply. “Yes, ma'am, whatever you order, ma'am!”

Karen turned to give her the unusual mean look, but couldn't. She instead had to laugh. Addy was hardly visible behind all the boxes and packages she was carrying.

JP and James followed caring boxes and bags as well. Several trips were made by all, except for Karen, to unload the truck.


James and JP were crazy about the little one and stopped over just about every day.

“So, Addy dear, I've forgotten to ask you with so much going, how is Luke doing?”

Everyone looked up.  James in astonishment.  Karen in wonderment and Addy in total surprise.

“Why do you ask?  What's going in with Luke?” Karen asked looking at JP and at Addy.

JP realized his indiscretion. “Oh dear!  Me and my big mouth. I've done it again!  I'm sorry, Addy, I thought….”

“JP, I haven't had the time.”


James immediately took charge of JP.  “JP, I think we should leave and come back at a better time.”  Having said that, the men said their goodbyes and left.

“What's going on, Addy?”

“Sorry, Ker, everything went well and I forgot to tell you.  I thought you had already gone through a lot at first and then I couldn't find the time to tell you and then I didn't see the point and then I just forgot.”

“What?  What is there to tell?”

“Luke had a heart attack.”


“The day Alex was born.”

“What? Oh my God!”

“When they were taking you to surgery, Laurie called.  She wanted me to go.  I told her I couldn't.  I explain the situation. She understood.”

Karen was quiet.  Her hand was covering her mouth. Her eyes were filled with worry.

“Is he alright?”

“Yes. He had to have a bypass later.”

“Jesus, Addy! Why didn't you say anything? Are you okay?”

Addy was about to start crying. “I'm sorry Ker.  I never keep things from you. I just didn't see the point!  There was nothing I could do!  I was not going to leave you for sure! And then why would I tell you? What could you do? Nag me about going to see him? I didn't want to leave.  I thought my place was here.  It was my choice. My decision.  My only mistake was not to tell you later. I should have.  I've just been so busy, I forgot.”

“What about Laurie and Joey? Are they okay with your decision?”

“Yes, they are. They were with him.  They are his children, so they did what they had to do. They know that you had a c section ... Please, don't be mad. I know I broke our deal of not keeping things from each other.  This is the only thing I've ever kept from you. I just didn't think it would do you any good knowing at the time and later, it didn't seem to matter.”

“Addy, I'm not mad. It's just that you've carried this burden on your shoulders.  Oh God! So you just found out as I was being rolled into the OR! I remember you said that Laurie called, you said she wanted to know how I was doing.”

“Yeah, that's when I got the call.  James overheard the conversation and he must have told JP.”

“Addy! Karen hugged her.

“I couldn't have left you, Ker.  I had to be there with you. I wanted to be there and I gave you my word, I promised you I'd be there the whole time!  And I really thought and still think my place was with you.  I'd make the same decision again today if I had to!”

Karen looked at her and kissed her on the lips. Addy was in tears. “How could I not stay with you, Ker?”

Karen continued to hold her. She was quiet. She kept thinking what a terribly hard decision that was and that Addy chose to stay with her.   She chose me!  Realizing the enormity of that choice overwhelmed her.  Karen's eyes welled up with tears.

“You chose me Addy, us. How can I possibly be mad at you?”

“Because I didn't tell you?”

“Addy, I was going into the OR, for God ‘s sake....and look at me! I've been a wreck for the last two months!  I can totally understand your not wanting to put more on my plate.”  She took a moment to gather herself.

“I'm the one who feels awful because I was not there for you.  Promise me, that if anything like this ever happens again, you will tell me as soon as possible.  And if ever, ever, ever anything is related to Laurie and Joey, you go, did you hear me?”

“Ker, if that had been the case you would have known the minute you were in your room at the hospital and I would have been on the first flight out.”

“Okay because that's the way it should be.  Do you want to go now?”

“No. All is fine now. My obligation is with my kids. I have no obligation with him.

I think he's still hurt. I don't think he wants t see me. I'm fine with that. I care for him for what he is, the father of my children, that is all.” She paused. “And what did you exactly mean when you said this thing about me choosing you?”


“Why wouldn't I? He had his chance for twenty some years, and he was the one who couldn't get it together!! I held it together. He put nothing into it and when he realized his mistake, it was too late. He lost me, many years before I even met you. And I can't believe that after all the time we've been together you still think that I'm not here 100 . I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! You are not an after -thought, or a second choice! Damn it, Ker! You are everything, you are my life and I don't want to be anywhere else on earth but here.”

Karen was choking and trembling. Addy looked at her, her eyes burned from crying. “The past is gone and all that's left of it are Laurie and Joey. I love them and I love Alex. They are my children and are a part of my life. I don't ever want you to belittle yourself to someone who never measured up to even your ankles!!!! Ever! There is no him, you will always come first. I need to know that we are clear on that.”

Karen nodded in the affirmative. She was speechless, trembling and uncertain of what to do. She came to Addy's arms, and they held each other. Almost unable, Karen whispered. “I love you.”

Addy tightened her embrace. “Forever, baby. Forever yours.”

Karen sobbed in her arms.


To be continued in Part 10



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