Xena and Gabrielle played in the surf, laughing and splashing. They were covered in sand anyway, their hair coarse with it and their clothes abrasive, so why not enjoy rinsing it all away? Why not re-establish some rapport? Besides, the physicality of play grounded them back at home in the real world. At the start, Xena had half-expected singing fish to leap from of the waves, warbling about vengeance for their tasty brethren.
However, it was nearly dusk when they began, and the long reflection of the swiftly-sinking sun chased them from the water before too long.
Xena frowned as she wrung out her shift. Even with most of the sand gone, she wasn’t looking forward to wearing salt-laden cloth under her leathers. “I don’t suppose you know the way back to the Amazon village?”
“Not from out here. You drove, remember?”
Xena raised an eyebrow, but there wasn’t any bite in Gabrielle’s tone. “I took us to a waterfall, and now I can’t see it anywhere.”
Gabrielle actually laughed. “I guess Solan played one last trick - getting us lost so we have to find our own tracks tomorrow. Though...are you sure you want to go back to the village so soon? They might not be friendly. I’m willing to meet you somewhere else.”
Xena grimaced. “No, I owe them all an apology. Especially Ephiny. I think I broke her arm.”
“Oh, Xena… well, at least I’m okay? That should help.”
“Guess we’ll find out. Come on, let’s build a fire and dry everything out.”
* * * * *
Ephiny was about to turn the search party back toward the village when they spotted firelight on the beach. They had been looking for their queen - or what might be left of her - and her attacker for hours, and up until then they had only found the horse Xena stole. The whole situation had left Ephiny sick with the certainty she would be mourning two friends afterward - whether they actually caught Xena or not. How could it come to this? Hunting the woman that helped bring her and her departed husband together? Even though she was a part of the events at the treaty summit and coaxed the rest of the details from the traumatized shell of her friend, confidante, and queen, it beggared belief. Secret children now dead, a dark god’s meddling, and formidable women left in tatters?
Despite her broken arm, she had felt compelled to personally lead a search party and bear witness to the result. And at last, here might be a breakthrough.
“I’m glad she still had time to make a cozy fire after murdering Gabrielle. Wouldn’t want her to catch cold,” Joxer commented, misery dripping from every sarcastic syllable. Though Ephiny empathized, his mopey comments were getting to her. Thank Artemis she’d gotten him to leave his clanging armor behind when he insisted on coming along. No measure of gratitude for his devotion to Gabrielle would have kept her from losing her cool after hours of that din.
She held back a sigh. “We don’t know if it’s her yet. But we’ll find out. I want absolute silence from all of you. We’ll let the waves and sand swallow our footsteps. Kora, you get in close to see who it is.”
Kora hefted her spear and cocked her head, and Ephiny nodded. Xena was too dangerous. If the fire was hers, and she really had killed Gabrielle, better to spear her while she was still asleep. Kora wouldn’t kill her, just wound her grievously. Ephiny meant to give her enough time to be dragged to the village and judged before the tribe prior to receiving an official, conscious execution. Such betrayal couldn’t be tolerated.
A sandy hike later, Ephiny, Joxer, and two other Amazons crouched in the sand while Kora crept through it toward the mysterious fire. With the sun long set over the ocean and the moon only risen a few spans from the opposite horizon, the trees that lined the beach cast deep shadows over the figure at the fire. Its flickering, run-down light illuminated little - just enough that Ephiny was sure there was at least one person by it.
Kora entered its circle of light, paused, half-heartedly hefted her spear, and then lowered it again after a beat. She turned back to the party and shrugged. Shrugging was not a standard tactical hand signal for the Amazons; all Ephiny could do was stand upright and hold her good hand out in the universal “what gives?” gesture. Kora held a finger over her mouth and beckoned them over.
Once closer, star- and firelight revealed that Xena and Gabrielle lay in a little bed of palm fronds on the sand. Gabrielle - who was somehow in her normal clothes after leaving the village in a toga earlier - slept on her side with her head on Xena’s shoulder, and Xena was turned toward her as much as possible, nuzzled against Gabrielle’s head. Both had an arm thrown over the other, and they were absolutely out cold. Breathing, but out cold. Xena’s armor and weapons sat in a pile behind them, along with their boots.
Everyone could only stare at first. Their queen was dead or at least horrifically injured, surely; they saw her dragged from the village behind a horse ridden by a grief-maddened warlord. Yet here she was, whole and wrapped cozily around the perpetrator. Making such a picture of domestic sweetness they ought to adorn an urn in Sappho’s parlor. And apparently enjoying her first good sleep since the incident at the treaty summit. Probably Xena’s, too; who knew what she had run herself ragged doing that made her turn on her partner a full week later.
Then Joxer opened his mouth.
“What is this? Oh gods, Xena, her body?!”
Swift as lighting tinder in a bonfire, Xena went from repose to sitting up, eyes wide, leaning slightly over Gabrielle. The Amazons had all brought weapons to bear when Joxer began to speak, and Xena froze when she saw them pointed her way. Meanwhile, Gabrielle was blinking and groaning after being thrown from her muscled pillow, definitely alive. Xena glanced down and ran a hand over the back of her head in apparent apology for the rude awakening.
Stunned anew, Joxer said, “Gabby?”
Gabrielle shook the fog of sleep from her eyes to see four Amazons and Joxer standing over her, most of them menacing Xena with weapons. She yelled and instinctively threw herself over her partner, more or less landing in her lap, and proceeded to wave her arms in a buffer in front of them. “Everything’s fine! Put those away.”
Joxer surged forward, crashed to his knees on the sand by Gabrielle’s side, and wrapped himself around her. Very tightly. Xena grunted at the extra weight on her lap and tried to lean away without lying down or upending Gabrielle, while Gabrielle tolerated the tackle but winced. Ephiny sheathed her sword and crossed her good arm over her broken one. She had a lot of questions, but she didn’t think this ungainly dogpile was about to become a combat scenario.
“I thought you were dead!” Was Joxer shaking? Though why wouldn’t he be? He had idolized Xena before this morning, and he hid his feelings for Gabrielle about as well as young Xenan hid the vegetables he didn’t like to eat.
“I’m not! I’m not. Okay?” Gabrielle patted Joxer’s head, gently pried him off her body, and settled back more comfortably on Xena, who properly sat back up once Joxer wasn’t in the way. After a beat, she went a step further and pulled one of Xena’s arms around her waist before looking back at everyone. “We just couldn’t find our way back to the village before dark. Please put your weapons away.”
The Amazons dutifully lowered their spears and remaining sword but kept them at hand. Gabrielle didn’t object, just looked chagrined. And Ephiny let this unexpected picture of her friends - currently resembling grumpy teenagers caught canoodling - wash over her and soothe the stress from her back and neck. Just the edge of it, though. These “kids” were not off the hook yet.
Incredulous, the still-kneeling Joxer threw his arms up and protested, “You’re just okay now? All of a sudden neither of you is suicidal or homicidal? I don’t buy it. Xena, let her go. You’re holding your best friend as a hostage… shield… human shield-hostage on your lap, like that’s a totally natural thing for you two to do.” He threw a fed-up look back at Ephiny. “I mean, do you see this?”
Gabrielle frowned at him and interlaced her fingers with Xena’s over her hip. “I’m protecting my partner from her lap. She’s not holding me hostage; I like being here.” She cleared her throat and softened her tone. “I’m sorry we never told you about us, Joxer, but… well, you’re a bit of a gossip.”
Subtle alarm dawned over Xena’s features as Gabrielle spoke, and she tightened her hold on the younger woman’s waist. “Gabrielle.”
“What? He’s our friend. Hiding it every time he travels with us is getting old, and we just got busted sleeping as a couple. Seems as good a time as any.”
Xena’s chin fell to Gabrielle’s shoulder in exasperation. “I’m sorry, Joxer. I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
For her part, Gabrielle just looked more confused. “Like what?”
Joxer asked, “Find out what? I know you’re partners; I don’t understand the rest of what you’re saying.” He considered the couple for a moment. “Are we sure this is really Xena and Gabrielle? Xena has enough twins that you really can’t assume. And that’s not even considering the body swapping I’ve seen.”
Gabrielle grabbed him by the ears and set him howling, thankfully only for a few seconds. “Feel familiar?”
Joxer rubbed the offended body parts and whined, “You could have just talked about when we first met or something! But yes…”
“So you get it.”
“No.”
Ephiny felt a headache bud and begin to throb in time with her arm. Looking at Joxer’s and Gabrielle’s confusion and Xena’s guilt, she barely resisted the urge to lay her face in her palm. Gabrielle had no idea this guy would roll sideways down a lava flow to kiss her hand? And Joxer couldn’t see what was going on in front of him?
She explained, “They’re lovers.”
Joxer glazed over in shock. “But… they’re…”
“Women? You’ve been staying with the Amazons for days, and we don’t hide that sort of thing, so I know you know it’s possible.”
“I know that! But…” He stuttered and deflated, the wheel of his mind settling to rest in a rut. He blinked.
“Sorry, Joxer,” Xena repeated softly. She did have a soft spot for the fool, didn’t she?
Gabrielle said, “I feel like I’m missing something.”
Enough of this. Ephiny stated, “No, everyone but you two are missing something. You were both completely insane as of this morning. What, you just kissed and made up? Gabrielle, aren’t you injured?”
Gabrielle hedged, “Well, we fought, but then we went somewhere and... worked through our problems? Sang through them?”
“More like we were taken there. When it was over, we found ourselves sitting in the waves behind you, healthy.”
“Where did you go?” asked Fantin, placing the butt of her spear on the sand. Kora did not yet do the same, nor did the remaining swordswoman sheathe her blade.
Xena explained, “They called it Illusia. Everyone spoke in song, people we know tormented us, and...” She shook her head, words failing her. “It reoriented our priorities. That’s all that matters.”
Ephiny pressed, “So that’s it? You either got hassled by the gods or drugged, and it’s just that easy?”
Xena’s whole manner sharpened so quickly, Joxer and Kora flinched. “You think this is easy?!” Pale eyes cast icicles at them all, and even Xena’s brows seemed sharper than usual in their furious arch.
Gabrielle growled, “It’s not easy. Everything else is just worse.” She deliberately closed her eyes and nudged Xena’s head with her own, which bled tension away from them both. Her next words traded some of the venom for exhaustion. “This was the worst week of our lives. We’ll only get through it if we do it together.”
Xena put her free arm around Gabrielle at shoulder level and squeezed, and Gabrielle laid a hand over it. Ephiny had never seen them so publicly affectionate, not even right after Gabrielle brought Xena back to life with Ambrosia. Their relief and the newness of their relationship at the time had combined to make them a source of some amusement to the village. But those lovesick gazes over dinner and the times they got caught necking weren’t comparable to the quiet intimacy on display here. They telegraphed stark misery and need but shared the burden through a sure, comfortable connection - exactly the type of grief she would have hoped to see from the couple a week ago.
Ephiny fought off a sudden pang of despondence. Phantes had comforted her similarly betimes, but she wouldn’t allow herself to be jealous of these two. Not today.
After a long breath, Xena sat back and let go of the embrace, though she left her one hand around Gabrielle’s waist and interlaced with her fingers. “Gabrielle, can I get up?”
The blonde glared at the sword and spear blades still glinting in the firelight. “No.”
Xena’s shoulders fell, but she didn’t protest or so much as adjust Gabrielle on her lap. She looked up and met each pair of eyes with her own. “Look, I get that just because things are settled between Gabrielle and I doesn’t mean they’re settled between me and everyone else. Ephiny, I’m sorry about your arm. And I’m sorry to anyone else I hit. Including you, Joxer.”
Hesitantly, the remaining weapons were sheathed or settled on the sand.
Joxer marveled, “I have been traveling with the woman I love and her lady-husband, camping together every night, and I didn’t even know? When did you have…?”
Xena snapped, “Joxer, not your business.”
“I thought you were in love with Meg, not Xena?” Gabrielle wondered aloud.
Xena raised her voice, “Wait, ‘lady-husband?’”
“Well what else do you call it?!”
Ephiny interjected, “They just told you they’re partners. Though if Xena really wants out of hot water with the tribe at this point, she ought to make an honest woman out of Gabrielle and officially become the queen’s consort.” Joxer looked like she’d suggested the women walk to the moon, and the couple blanched as if they’d stepped on a clicking tile in a trap-ridden temple. The looks on their faces were almost worth the long day.
Ephiny let out a small chuckle with her sigh. “I’m teasing you.” And testing their lately-unstable temperaments. “Though it does speak well of a queen when she can bring someone as wild as Xena to heel under tribe law and in her bed.” It was hard to tell in the dim light, but Gabrielle seemed to be inventing new shades of red with her face, while Xena tried and failed to smirk cooly. Ephiny would have to hold onto this priceless image; she was proud of it.
But she sobered herself to continue. “Look, Xena, the only real damage you did was to Gabrielle and to my arm. You didn’t so much as draw a blade on anyone else. Gabrielle’s fine now; you two went to a concert in Tartarus to sort yourselves out. Sure, why not. I can’t make her charge you with a crime. And seeing as I know what you two have been through, I am willing to let my injury go provided you come back to the village with us and reassure everyone. You saved Xenan along with the others when you trapped Callisto, after all.”
Xena cleared her throat. “Thank you. Of course we’ll go back with you.” This time, she managed the smirk. “My horse is there.”
Gabrielle asked, “How far away is the village from here, anyway?”
“Far enough.” Ephiny considered her friends. Now assured that Xena wasn’t at risk of being skewered, they were beginning to sag. “We can finish the night here and head back at first light. Home will worry, but it’s just too late to travel. Go back to sleep, you two.”
When the couple leaned out to look at one another, then roll-flopped into a spooning position on their fronds, Ephiny felt her first real smile in days. Would that every Amazon hunt went so well.
* * * * *
Xena settled down with Gabrielle. She wasn’t looking forward to the morning’s walk of shame back to the Amazon village, but having her lover against her now, warm and sleepy and capturing Xena’s hand to snuggle against her chest, helped her mood a great deal.
Then after a few moments, thoughts of Ephiny’s broken arm intruded on the peace. And when Xena shifted and caught a long look at Gabrielle’s pale shoulder, images of it bruised and bloodied made her jerk her head to clear it. She and Gabrielle had agreed to move on, to look forward and work from a place of love first, but Xena still had to wonder how she could have been so cruel earlier that day.
She only became aware that she’d clenched her fists when Gabrielle soothed the one she had imprisoned against her chest. She kissed the knuckles and thumbed herself access to the palm in order to massage it. Xena let out a long breath and snuggled closer.
“Thank you.”
“Mm,” was Gabrielle’s only response. She kissed Xena’s fingers once more for good measure.
Tomorrow would be tomorrow. She would have Gabrielle at her side, and they would get through the awkwardness together. Tonight, she would rest and breathe Gabrielle in.
Xena would probably be asleep in moments if Joxer wasn’t still kneeling in front of them, lost in thought.
She decided to hint, “Joxer, if you don’t have a cloak to lay out, there are more palm fronds under the trees.”
Blinking as if woken from hypnosis, Joxer slowly looked down at them. “Xena.”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you ever hang me by my toes for-” he made an exaggerated head motion toward Gabrielle. Xena assumed the blonde’s eyes were closed.
Was he asking why she didn’t hurt him for lusting after her partner? Joxer just wasn’t her type. How to put it nicely? She was too tired for diplomacy. “I trust her.” There.
“What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing,” Joxer and Xena said in unison. Xena could only imagine the suspicious look on Gabrielle’s face, but she knew it was there all the same.
Joxer cleared his throat and rambled, “Erm, are…uh... Ah! Are you really better now? The madness is over? We’re back to normal-Xena crazy?”
“Closer than I was this morning, at least.”
“Good.” There was a long pause, but he still didn’t move away. “Xena.”
She was going to kill him. If she could find the wherewithal to disentangle her limbs from Gabrielle’s, Joxer would be sorry. “Yes?”
“I’m not sorry I stepped between you two earlier.”
Xena sighed and patiently explained, “I know. And I assume you’d do it again. If I thought otherwise, I wouldn’t keep you around. Now go to bed.”
“Sure. Sure. Just… one more.”
Gabrielle interjected, “By the gods, Joxer.”
“Do we want to agree on a code or signal for whenever you want me to leave the campsite for a half hour or so? For the next time we travel together?” When neither replied to him, he clarified, “So you can, y’know, y’know. However you do.”
Gabrielle gave a frustrated groan and flung sand at him until he went away.
That moment - the scents of salt and campfire, Joxer’s indignant yelling, the good-natured laughter of tired Amazons, and the swearing and flailing of her very own cranky bard - filled Xena with a warmth that lured her right into a smiling sleep. That night, and many more nights after.