BUTYRM ARACHIS HYPOGAEA ET QUILON ACINUS

M. Guerriere 12/1/2004 aka Absinthe Angel 777
(Another clip from the "Scenes We'll Never See" Series)

Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more. I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amateur fan fiction purposes only.

Notes from the Author: This was done as an answer to a challenge to have Xena & Gabrielle make peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.
This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Please contact me - I might say YES. Please direct comments and reviews relating to this work to absintheangel777@yahoo.com. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it. I know the piece has technical flaws but it's just for fun. Enjoy! - Angel



EXT. - A TRANQUIL CAMPSITE IN THE WILDERNESS OUTSIDE ROME - MIDDAY
GABRIELLE
You want what?

XENA
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich

GABRIELLE
(suspicious glare)
A what?

XENA
A sandwich! A peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's very simple.

GABRIELLE
Xena....

XENA
(slams down sword and sharpening stone in a huff, wiping hands off on leathers)
It's a.....it's a sandwich. It's.....

GABRIELLE
Something from Chin? Troy? Persia? I'm at a loss here.

Xena
Bread, ok? You take some bread.

GABRIELLE
(nods to herself, grabs pita bread round).
Bread, OK. Got it.

XENA
(sneer)
Hmmmm.....now you take the peanut butter.

GABRIELLE
Peanut butter? Pea nut? Pignoli nuts? Peas? Chickpeas?

XENA
Yeah yeah chickpeas will do. Take the tahini sauce.

GABRIELLE
(holds up bowl of tahini sauce with curious look)
This?

XENA
Now spread it on the bread.
Push it inside.
Yeah thats good.
Now take some grapes and smash them all up.

GABRIELLE
(sighs, rolls eyes but complies)
Xena, did you get your cycle this month?

XENA
What? Yes! Just do what I say.
We're almost done now.

GABRIELLE
Well last week you wanted seaweed rolls so...it's an obvious question. Now what?

XENA
It's a foreign delicacy!
OK, now take the mushed up grapes and shove them in.
(watches procedure)
.......thaaaaaaaat's it!

GABRIELLE
Ugh.....
(hands Xena the drippy concoction)

XENA
Thank you!

GABRIELLE
(winces)
I'm sticking to couscous.

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