Authors Note: Short chapter today, if you want to comment about it to me, my email is jacklavigne13@hotmail .com
The Queen entered her hut, closing the door quietly behind her, before walking over to the desk in the corner of the room and sitting down heavily. She stared at the open scroll in front of her, before running her fingers over it lovingly. The scroll was old, one of the first she had ever written when she had started travelling with the Warrior Princess. She smiled slightly, closing her eyes as she thought of all the adventures she had been on since she had met Xena. Though, that first day was her clearest memory of all.
It had been a beautiful day, and the women from Potadeia had been out near the lake, washing their clothes and chatting about their husbands and what they were going to cook for dinner that night. Gabrielle didn't pay much attention as she studied the gift of nature around her. She remembered walking back towards the village, through a small clearing, when they were surrounded by slavers. She had tried to talk the men out of capturing them, even offering herself up bravely if they would leave the others alone, and then the magnificent warrior had stepped out the bushes, talk, dark and deadly. Wearing only a shift, with deeply tanned skin and raven coloured hair that contrasted beautifully with her icy blue eyes. The warrior woman fought off all the slavers, battling magnificently, using moves Gabrielle never even imagined possible for a mortal human being. She had saved the women of Potadeia. She had saved her, Gabrielle.
She knew she had loved the warrior, even then. From the moment she looked into those pale blue eyes, she knew her heart was lost. Though, it had taken years for her to finally admit it to herself, and even longer to tell the warrior her feelings. It had been worth it, when she had spilled her heart to Xena, and recieved that bright smile in return, as the dark haired woman had told her she felt the same. The joy she had felt was indescribable.
It was easily the happiest moment of her life.
And I'll probably never be that happy again, she thought to herself, reaching up and wiping away the lone tear that started to make it's way down her cheek.
She hadn't felt truly happy since she had stepped foot in Japa. The moment she had entered the small country, she had felt like something was wrong. Like she knew nothing would be the same when she left, and she was right, everything had changed now that Xena was gone. Her life was empty without her soulmate, her body and soul screamed for her lover's company, her touch, her voice, and every morning when she woke up and Xena wasn't there, she felt a little piece of her soul lose its light.
She had felt a little better when she met Alexandria. She had company, and someone to talk to, and even someone to hold her sometimes when she couldn't sleep, but it wasn't enough to ease the painful ache in her heart, that only Xena could cure.
She was hurting, and she was angry, but worst of all, she was lost.
"I can't find my way anymore, Xena," she whispered softly, looking around the hut as if her lover would appear any moment and tell her what to do. "What am I supposed to do without you?"
She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration at the silence that greeted her, before standing up and starting to pace rapidly.
"What am I supposed to do?" She repeated, stopping in the middle of the room and looking up towards the Heavens. "Where do I go now, Xena? What path am I meant to take? How am I supposed to survive without you?"
Her voice cracked with emotion and she felt her throat constrict and tears sting her eyes as they threatened to escape. She felt her rage building up in her chest as she clenched her small hands into fists and screamed at the roof of her hut.
"Where are you now, Xena?" She screamed, her voice trembling. "Where the fuck are you now, that I need you the most? Why did this have to happen? Why didn't you fight harder? Why did you give up? Why the fuck did you leave me?"
She sobbed as she felt her body become suddenly exhausted from the outburst of emotion she had kept locked inside for so long. She felt her legs give way and slumped into an untidy heap on the floor, rocking back and forth as she cried.
"Why did you have to die?" She sobbed brokenly.
She curled up on her side, closing her eyes and cried in anguish until there were no more tears left. Finally, she drifted off into a fitful sleep, her dreams haunted by pale blue eyes.
Gabrielle woke up a while later, frowning at the soft mattress underneath her. She couldn't remember getting up off the floor and crawling into bed. She cracked her eyes open at turned her head, her eyes falling on her bedside table. She couldn't remember making herself a cup of tea either.
She ran her fingers through her hair tiredly before her body tensed, her instincts picking up another prescence in the room. She sat up quickly, lunging for her sais next to the bed and froze as her sea green eyes landed on the figure at her desk. The woman was bathed in a soft glow from the candle on the table besides her, a leather covered leg was thrown over the chairs arm rest, and the woman's hands held a scroll, which she seemed to be reading quite intently.
She frowned at the woman, clearing her throat loudly, but she was ignored. If it hadn't been for the slight smirk that made it's way onto the woman's face, she would have thought the warrior didn't even know she was there.
"It's a crime to enter the Queen's hut without permission you know," Gabrielle said sarcastically as she leaned back against the head board of the bed. "I ought to get the guards in here and have you taken outside and whipped for this violation of privacy."
"The guards are the ones who gave me permission to enter," Alexandria replied, her smile widening but her eyes never leaving the parchment.
"Then I should have the guards whipped," Gabrielle grumbled, closing her eyes.
She heard Alexandria's soft, almost musical laughter and couldn't help the smile that crepy onto her lips. She kept her eyes closed for a few more moments before she heard the scroll being rolled up, and she opened her eyes once more.
"What are you doing here, Alex?" Gabrielle asked quietly, gazing at the red headed woman.
"Well," Alexandria replied, smirking and raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "I heard you cursing the Gods, and thought you might be in trouble, so I came to check on you. I found you passed out of the floor, so I put you to bed. Problem?"
Gabrielle gave the woman a smile smile, leaning over and grasping the still warm cup of tea from her bed side table, raising it slightly towards the warrior before taking a sip.
"Thank you," she said, sighing contentedly as the warm liquid slid down her raw throat, easing the pain from her screaming.
Alexandria gave her a small nod, before turning her head and looking down at the scroll on the desk next to her. She ran her fingers over it, her brow furrowing thoughtfully.
"You write a good story," Alexandria said, not looking up from the scroll as she spoke to the blonde woman. "You tell it better out loud though."
Gabrielle smiled brightly, the compliment lighting a small corner of her heart, and filling her with warmth. The red headed woman looked up at her, returning her smile before standing up.
"I should let you sleep," Alexandria said, as she made her way to the door.
"Don't go," Gabrielle blurted out before she could stop herself. She flushed in embaressment as Alexandria gave her a strange look and averted her eyes from the tall woman, looking around the room.
She looked up in suprise as she felt the woman sit down on the edge of her bed, having not heard her footsteps as she approached her cot. Gabrielle watched as the woman hesitantly reached out her hand before pulling it away again. She looked up into the confused blue eyes that stared back at her, an emotion in them that she couldn't decipher.
She smiled at the unsure warrior woman, before leaning over and grabbing her companion's hand, giving it a soft squeeze before pulling it into her lap, and playing with the long slender fingers, as the warrior watched her with a bemused expression.
"Nothing seems so dark when you're around," Gabrielle whispered, her voice so quiet Alexandria had to strain to hear it. "I don't feel so alone."
Alexandria smiled, giving the blonde woman's hand another gentle squeeze before scooting up the bed to sit next to Gabrielle.
"You'll never be alone, for as long as I breathe," Alexandria replied softly, turning her head and looking into the green eyes that gazed back at her. "I promise."
Gabrielle smiled, feeling the tears once again build up in her eyes, and sighed shakily, before resting her head on the red headed woman's shoulder.
"Thank you," she mumbled, closing her eyes and listening to the steady breathing of the woman next to her, soon falling into a peaceful sleep, feeling sure of something for the first time since Xena had died.
Alexandria would keep her promise. She would never die and leave her.
And in her heart, she felt a small spark of hope, that not everything was lost.