Disclaimer: See Part 1
Authours Note: Hey, sorry it's taken me so long to update this story, I've been having some serious troubles with my laptop, so I brought a new one! I promise I will update a lot quicker from now on. Borrowed lyrics from The Killers - Mr Brightside. I hope you enjoy it!
Comments are very much appreciated.
If you wish to send them to me, my email is jacklavigne13@hotmail.com
Chapter Five
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
Mr Brightside - The Killers
Gabrielle stood in the small clearing, staring at the trees where her companion had dissapeared into only moments ago. That wasn't what she had expected, nor what she wanted to happen after she kissed the warrior. She had expected heartfelt words, soft caresses, but not this. Not rejection. She thought maybe that Alexandria would be more willing, that she would want the comfort of anothers arms when she couldn't have the one she truly wanted. She thought they felt the same.
Maybe that's just what you wanted to believe , she thought to herself disgustedly. Maybe you were just being selfish, so when you looked into her eyes, you thought you saw your own desire reflected back. Except it wasn't desire, it was pity, and that's the only reason she let you kiss her.
She turned back towards the magnicifent waterfall, unable to take in the beauty that she once strived to find in everything around her. She stood there, unable to focus on anything around her, the wind blowing her hair, the sun shining brightly upon her, nor the soft grass grazing her legs. And then they came.
The tears.
Tears of frustration and anger. Tears of rejection and sadness. But most of all, tears of loss, of the one thing that she managed to find in this dark horrible world.
She knew now that without a doubt, Alexandria would be making her way back to the Amazon village to pack her things and leave. The warrior would be too uncomfortable in her prescence to hang around and be forced to see her everyday. And Gods, it hurt. It hurt knowing that the one person that she could count on couldn't stand the even look at her now. It was killing her to know that she was to blame.
It was only a kiss , she thought to herself sadly.
Yeah, only a kiss and you basically spilling your pathetic, broken little heart out to the poor woman. Do you really expect her to want to hang around after that?
She dropped her head into her hands, gripping her short locks of hair and groaning at the giant mistake she had made. She had ruined everything. They could never go back to what they were before, not after that kiss.
I have to try , she thought to herself determindly. I have to at least try and fix this. I don't think I can live without her now, not when everything else in my life seems to be in pieces. She's the only thing that makes it possible for me to get up in the morning. Just her smile makes the darkest days feel brighter, and her laughter is the only thing that can bring a smile to my own lips. Gods, her lips...
No. You can't think about her like that anymore, not if you want to fix this. You need to be strong, and push past these feelings, and maybe one day you can both go back to the way things were before you stupidly stepped foot into this clearing.
Nodding her head in determination, she straightened her leathers and stood tall, well, as tall as she possibily could, and spun on her heel and walked out of the clearing and into the forest.
*******
Alexandria strode briskly through the dark forest, her brow furrowed thoughtfully. She was frustrated, confused, and with every second that passed, she was getting angry. She hadn't expected this at all. The thought of Gabrielle wanting her made her head swim in an ocean of confusion. It just wasn't possible. And it was so very wrong.
She doesn't know who you are, so how could she possibily know how wrong it is? Maybe if you were a bit more honest with her, to begin with, this never would have happened.
"I couldn't tell her," she argued with herself, kicking an unfortunate log from her path as she walked. "It would have made things worse."
I don't think anything could be worse than what just happened. She kissed you. Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons, Battling Bard of Potadeia and to top it all off, Xena's ex lover, just kissed you.
Her frown deepened as she continued walking, considering all the possibilities of what could happen now. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she made her way to the Amazon village, her body becoming more and more tense with every step that she took.
Why can't anything just be easy for me? She thought to herself angrily. Why can't something go right in my life? Why is it that when everything seems to be getting a little brighter, the Gods decide to fuck me over.
She froze mid step, stumbling over another log which she kicked in frustration, shattering it to pieces as words from long ago ran through her mind.
"When everything starts to become bright, after a lifetime of darkness, you will know what you have to do. It will be the hardest desicion you've ever had to make, but you will gain what you've been searching for. You will find peace."
Peace , the word sounded so foriegn to her. She didn't even know what it felt like to be at peace with anything anymore. Not until the small blonde Queen had stepped into her life had she started to feel anything remotely similar.
"Fuck!" The red headed warrior growled in frustration. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
She continued her angry march through the forest, until she reached the Amazon nation, nodding towards the Amazon women she passed, before reaching her hut. She stepped inside the large room that held the small amount of possessions she had gained in her many years of travelling and slumped her shoulders in defeat as she walked over to her bed. She reached underneath it, pulling out her bag and started to grab the things she needed for her mission.
Her mind was made up, and somehow she knew what she needed to do, though, she was unsure if it would work. Walking over to her small desk, she strapped her two swords to her back, then slung her bow and arrows that the Amazons had given her over her shoulder before turning around and surveying the room she had stayed in over the past years.
It was hard, standing in this room, in the middle of the village full of people that she loved and cared for, and not knowing if she'd ever be able to return once she left. It would be too difficult, to face the pain of the memories that had been created here in the past few moons.
You will find peace, The words echoed in her head once more, and taking one more deep breath, she turned and opened the door to her hut, ready to face what she needed to do.
And she walked straight into Varia, who was standing on the other side.
"Watch it, tall, strong and sexy," Varia laughed, rubbing her skin where Alexandria's black armour slammed into her chest. She ran her eyes up and down the muscular body, raising an eyebrow at the outfit and bags slung over the warriors shoulder. "Where are we going?"
" We, " Alexandria emphasised the word while raising an eyebrow of her own. "Are not going anywhere. I, on the other hand, have to go get something before the battle starts."
Varia frowned, searching the deep blue eyes she was gazing into, trying to pull forward the secrets she could see lurking in the oceans before her. As always, she was unsuccessful in her quest for answers about this mysterious woman.
"What do you need to get?" The brunette asked, side stepping in front of the woman who was trying to move past her. "What could be so important that you need to leave now? And why are you so red? What's got you blushing like a little girl?"
Alexandria blushed even harder, averting her eyes from her friend and scanning the village around her. She felt a hand gently touch her chin, forcing her to meet Varia's eyes, and found concern and confusion in the chocolate brown orbs.
"I'm fine, V," Alexandria smiled weakly, reaching her hand up and smoothing the frown lines from Varia's brow. "Don't worry about me. This is just something I need to do."
"Let me help you," replied Varia, leaning into her friend's touch. "Has this got to do with..."
Alexandria nodded to the silent question, sighing and dropping her hand back to her side. Maybe she should take Varia, it would definetly make this easier for her, but she knew she couldn't. She needed to do this alone, so she could get past her demons, and finally move on with her life, and Varia would only be a distraction, no matter how comforting her prescence might be.
"You have to stay here, V. You're the Queen's regent, and Gabrielle's going to need you over the next couple of days. I promise I'll be back before the battle starts, and I might be able to find some help along the way."
"What about when the battle's over?" Varia replied. "Will you stay? Or will you leave us again? The Queen will need you too. She needs you now."
Alexandria said nothing. She pulled her friend into a crushing hug, trying to gather all the strength she could from her companion. Closing her eyes, she knew the answer to Varia's question, without a doubt, and with that thought, a tear slipped from the corner of her eye, and she mourned the friendships she had made, and the home she had found.
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