A DAY IN THE LIFE OF SANTA'S A-TEAM:
AN ELFIN-GOOD ADVENTURE
by Norsebard
Contact: norsebarddk@gmail.com
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DISCLAIMERS:
This (hopefully) humorous piece of Elfin Yuleness belongs in the Uber category. All characters are created by me, though they may remind you of someone.
This story depicts a loving relationship between consenting adult Elves of the female kind. If such a story frightens you, you better click on the X in the top-right corner and find something else to read.
This story contains some humorous profanity. Readers who are easily offended by bad language may wish to read something other than this story.
All characters depicted, names used, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (or Elves) is intended nor should be inferred. Any resemblance of the characters portrayed to actual persons (or Elves), living or dead is purely coincidental.
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NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR:
Written: December 1st - 4th, 2022
As usual, I'd like to say a great, big THANK YOU to my mates at AUSXIP Talking Xena, especially to the gals and guys in Subtext Central. I really appreciate your support - Thanks, everybody! :D
Description: Rockabye and Epilotta, Santa's A-Team Elves, return once more with an Elfin-good adventure. The Season To Be Jolly is just around the corner, so they go on a whistle-stop tour of two of the toy factories to boost the morale of the labor-Elves. Once there, they meet old friends, gain new friends and sample an Elfin-yummy dessert - and then they're thrust into a search for an important toy prototype that's gone missing. In other words, just another day in the life of Santa's A-Team Elves…
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A DAY IN THE LIFE OF SANTA'S A-TEAM: AN ELFIN-GOOD ADVENTURE
Ask any-Elf anywhere in the Elfin world what kind of weather they love, and the answer will inevitably be: "Nippy-nosy and rosy-cheeky, please! And fifteen feet of snow from October until March will be the icing on the Yule-fruitcake!"
No real snow had arrived yet save from a two-inch dusting, but the weather on December 11th was indeed nippy-nosy and rosy-cheeky. The Elfin citizens of Elf Springs, the capital of the Elfin world, were out in droves to enjoy the fine conditions while they lasted. Every street and square of the busy city echoed with the happy sounds of Elves doing what they did best - socializing, singing songs from the Great Elfin Songbook and celebrating the upcoming Season To Be Jolly.
Though it was mid-day, the sun never went far above the horizon. Less than two hours of daylight remained before the stern Father Night would take over from the life-giving Mother Sun; when night fell upon the Elfin world, King Frost and his icy minions would send every-Elf indoors where they would snuggle up in their loved one's arms while resting in front of their crackling fireplaces - and, of course, no Elf would ever forego the hot chocolate, the whipped cream and/or the well-buttered raisin buns.
Some tireless Elves had to work through the night: the firewatch who patrolled the streets in their characteristic robes and headwear, the reindeer-cab drivers who continued to roam the streets to pick up fares, and the master bakers and their apprentices who would toil at the ovens to have plenty of fresh cinnamon buns, cookies and other types of bread ready for the inevitable breakfast rush.
Chestnut Street - located in one of the newer suburbs of Elf Springs - saw its fair share of happy Elves doing happy Elfin things. Adult Elves pulled their junior-Elves on bobsleds or home-made sleighs while other juniors were engaged in wild and wonderful snowball fights despite the meager amount of snow.
In the middle of all those Elf-created flurries, a reindeer-cab driver from the Antler Cab Company tried to find the address he had been sent to; it took him several passes to spot Leeda Elf and her pet duck Quack standing by their garden gate. Though the lady-Elf in question had waved furiously at the cab driver each time he had gone by, the task had been made almost impossible by her all-white, Trés-Elfin-Chic outfit that meant she blended in perfectly with the white background.
In some gardens, the first Snow People had already been rolled into existence, but the low amounts of snow that had fallen meant the results were still on the sparse side. Even a little effort went a long way when it came to Snow People, so plenty of carrots had been used for noses while acorns had gone into double-duty as eyes and smiles - straw hats, flat caps and even genuine Elf bobble-hats with either rigid or floppy cones were prevalent as headwear.
The gardens of Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf's Pine Cone Villa at number seventeen Chestnut Street were still devoid of Snowish life. The lack of Snow People had nothing to do with any kind of unwillingness to play and everything to do with her busy schedule that saw her work, work, work from getting up in the morning until she collapsed onto her bed in the evening.
As one of the select few members of Santa's elite A-Team Elves, Lotta had precious little time to rest and enjoy the simpler things in Elfin life: after a quick and nutritious breakfast consisting of half a dozen well-buttered raisin buns and a large quantity of chunky, red Yuletea - featuring cloves, cinnamon, almonds and more raisins - she buried herself in the latest mailbags delivered to her doorstep.
'Buried' should be taken literally as seemingly every-Elf in the entire Elfin world sent her letters on a daily basis asking for advice on all kinds of topics ranging from what to do about ingrown toenails to what kind of garb would be appropriate for the second date with the lady-Elf of their heart. It was all part of the job description of the A-Team Elves so she didn't complain; besides, if an Elf refused to help another Elf who happened to be in some kind of jam, pickle or other type of bother, the entire Elfin world would come crashing down.
Once Lotta had gone through most of the new letters, she was off to the woodshed behind her house to chop the kindling she would need over the coming day and night. Then she would call her Mammi and Pappi Ingeborg Elf and Thorbjorn Elf to hear the latest gossip in their part of town. All that gossiping would always make her hungry, so after the conversation, it would be high time for a few more buns, some tea or hot cocoa and maybe even dip into the tin where she kept the various home-made Yulecookies.
December 11th would be different, however. She and the other half of her soul, the veteran long-haul sleigh-driver Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf, were scheduled to fly on a whistle-stop tour of two of the four toy factories as Santa's representatives. Their main task was to tell the factory-Elves who worked tirelessly producing Yuletide gifts how proud Santa and the A-Team were of their efforts; their secondary task was just as important: they were to give the signal to begin production of a brand new toy that had caused much Elfin joy all through the design phase.
Epilotta Elf had yet to finish dressing for the lengthy trip when a familiar song started playing downstairs in her living room: 'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!' came blasting out of the snow cone apparatus alerting her of an incoming call.
"Oh! Cotton-candy… the snow cone always rings when I'm the furthest away from it," Lotta mumbled as she grabbed her sturdy boots and hurried downstairs from her bedroom.
The lady-Elf in question bore all the classic Elfin looks: standing at a mere two-foot-seven in socks, she had a pert nose, pointy ears, reddish hair, sparkling green eyes and milky-white skin except for her cheeks that often sported a pair of rosy blotches.
She had a sprinkling of faint freckles on the upper part of her round cheeks and what appeared to be an old scar tainting her fair skin immediately above her right eyebrow - it was the result of a ladder stunt gone wrong when she had been a stubborn ninety-year-old who had tried to convince her parents that a girl-Elf could work as a gift-dropper no matter what family traditions said. Back then, she had been slender to the point of being fragile, but her years working as a member of Santa's elite squad had added plenty of muscle to her bones.
Although she zipped down the stairs as fast as she Elfinly could - wearing her favorite, mint-green schmutting outfit that matched her eyes - she couldn't move fast enough to keep the snow cone from ringing again:
'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!'
"I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! Cotton-candy, I'm here!" Lotta cried as she zoomed over to the sideboard to grab the cordless snow cone. "This is Epilotta Elf. To whom am I speaking, please?" she said breathlessly.
'Greetings, Epilotta!'
"Greetings, Mammi!" Lotta said and broke out in a wide smile. The settee beckoned, so she shuffled over there on socked feet and sat down to don her trekking boots. "How is Pappi? Is he still bothered by that sprained finger?" she continued as she pinned the snow cone's talky-thing between her chin and her shoulder so she had her hands free.
'Yes, he is… the clumsy, old Elf. I don't know what he was thinking. He and your uncle Rumlefrans Elf were competing like a pair of young bucks… it's such a boy-Elf thing to do, don't you agree? I mean, spraining his pinkie while doing something as utterly irrelevant as trying to lift a tankard of sweet white ale with one finger! At your Pappi's age!'
"Quite," Lotta said with a mischievous grin. She snickered into her hand before she reached down to tie the long laces on her other boots. "How did uncle Rumlefrans do in the competition?"
'Oh, you know your uncle. He has plenty of experience lifting tankards.'
"Ah… he certainly has," Lotta said and snickered again as she thought of her rotund, jovial uncle who could never be accused of refusing the sweeter aspects of Elfin life.
Once her boots were done up, she reached for the ascot that she had put on the low table by the settee earlier in the day - the ascot signaled the wearer's years of seniority within the Elfin realm. Everybody started with a green ascot, then yellow, onto a red and finally a black one to show they were elders who should be treated with the utmost respect.
Lotta had recently moved up a class after completing her novice years: she now wore a yellow ascot rather than the green one she had worn ever since graduating from Ye Olde Elfin Academie. The cloth was soon tied around her neck like the Elfin dress code dictated.
'But enough about those old fools… what's on your agenda today, Epilotta dearest?'
"Rocky and I are going to fly to alllllll… no, nearly all… well, two… of the toy factories to honor all the labor-Elves who make alllllllll the wonn-derful Yuletide presents that we and Santa deliver on Yuletide Eve and Morn! It's going to be a long flight-"
'Remember to pack some food, dearest-"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about me, Mammi!" Lotta said while sporting a smile that was on the verge of reaching beyond her face. "I spent half of last night making raisin and cinnamon buns and I have peppernuts and vanilla rings and Finnish bread and rum-cakes and crullers and vanilla rings… oh, I said that already… well, it doesn't matter 'cos I have a lot of vanilla rings! And we're going to stop at the wonderful, wonderful, wonn-derful bakery on Beechwood Drive before we take off to get some of Rocky's favorite gingerbread and maybe even a Welsh bread, come to think of it… yes, there should be enough for at least the first leg of the journey."
'Good! I wouldn't want you to waste away to nothing, you know.'
"That'll never happen, Mammi! I'm sure of it! And besides, I'm certain there'll be some kind of official welcoming function when we reach the toy factories… there's bound to be some fingerfood in case I get peckish."
Lotta's keen Elfin hearing suddenly picked up a faint sound of a jinglestick that seemed to come closer out on Chestnut Street. Unlike the regular jinglesticks installed on nearly all cargo sleighs and most of the privately owned ones as well, this particular stick created golden harmonies as the inevitable bumps in the street made the scores of little bells sing their merry song.
"Mammi! Rocky's here so I need to go," Lotta said as she got up from the settee. Her greenish Elfin eyes made a quick tour of her living room to see if anything needed last-minute adjustments - the logs crackling in the fireplace were perhaps on the sparse side given the many hours they needed to burn, so she pinned down the snow cone's talky-thing again to add a little more kindling.
'Oh… already? We haven't even talked about- no, you're right, Epilotta. Your task is important. I'll call you tomorrow. It's probably going to be quite early.'
"We'll have plenty to talk about then, Mammi! Ooooh, I just thought of something! How about you and Pappi came over tomorrow at noon? We could have such a cozy day with plenty of food and drink and merry Elfin yakking and some singing and-"
'We can't, Epilotta… we'll have the house full of Elves. I'm hosting the weekly gathering of the Elf Knitting Association. They'll be by for lunch and afternoon delights and probably supper as well… and knowing them like I do, some will stay for a night-cap.'
Lotta stopped to scratch her neck. "Oh… maybe some other day then… Cotton-candy." When the bell at the front door suddenly sent out a merry Yuletide song indicating that some-Elf had pressed the button, Lotta cast a puzzled glance in that direction. "Some-Elf's at the door, Mammi… I really need to go. We'll talk later. Please give my regards to Pappi! Merry Yuletide! Mmmmua!"
'Merry Yuletide, Epilotta dearest,' Ingeborg Elf said before she closed the connection.
Lotta put the snow cone's talky-thing back on the apparatus before she hurried out into her entrance to check the door. As she whooshed it open, the puzzled look upon her face vanished like the morning dew - in its stead, a wide smile burst onto her Elfin face.
The person on the other side of the door proved to be Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf, or to be precise, the other half of Lotta's soul until the end of all things Elf. Rocky stuck out from the norm among the Elves with her three-foot-three frame, black hair, blue eyes and bronzed skin. She was the result of a romantic tryst between the Norse lady-Elf Bellflower Elf and the dashing Southerner Carlo Michele Lamberto Elf who had been working at the Central Administration as an exchange consultant at the time.
On this important day, Rocky wore the type of schmutting outfit favored by nine out of ten long-haul sleigh drivers: black ankle boots, insulated, dark-blue pants held in place by a leather belt, a dark-blue double-breasted jacket and finally an ascot that signaled the wearer's years of seniority within the Elfin realm - hers was red highlighting the fact that she had reached the third stage of Elfhood. She was only a few decades from obtaining a black one; a fact she wasn't sure she was looking forward to as it would mean she needed to consider herself an Elf elder.
"Oh, you're such a silly-Elf, Rockabye Elf!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand. "You live here too, you know! There's no need for you to ring the bell!"
Instead of speaking, Rocky pointed upward. Lotta followed the pointing finger and broke out in an almighty Elfin grin. When the day came where an Elf didn't heed what was perhaps the cutest Yuletide tradition, the Elfin world would come to an end - no Elf would want to risk that, especially not two of Santa's elite A-Team Elves, so the call of the mistletoe was duly heeded by Lotta getting up on tip-toes to establish contact in the sweetest possible spot, namely Rocky's enticing lips.
The big, ol' Elfin kiss was followed by a smaller smooch or two, a hug and plenty of love stars of the Elfin kind flying back and forth between the lady-Elves. "My sleigh has been washed and buffed and I've even waxed the runners," Rocky said in her silky timbre, "so I'm all set for our grand adventure. Are you ready?"
"Alllllmost! I just need to stock-up on a few in-flight snacks and then we're off!" Lotta said and clapped her hands in glee. Before Rocky could add any kind of comment, Lotta zipped into the kitchen to pick up the first of the seven boxes of snacks she had prepared for the long flight.
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No Elf had ever locked their front door since the birth of The Great Elf herself in the year dot, so Lotta wasn't about to start now. Once she reached her garden gate, she turned around to check all the windows just to make double-sure she hadn't forgotten any lit candles. Everything was as it should be, so she spun around once more and zipped over to Rocky's neat cargo-sleigh.
On her way there, she stopped at the two reindeer to greet them in the proper Elfin fashion: "Greetings, Mister and Missus Deer! I'm Epilotta Elf and you'll be pulling myself and Rockabye Elf today… there'll be plenty of feed and water for you-"
"Lotta-" Rocky tried, but she was cut off at once.
"-Because we'll be going to a couple of Santa's toy factories that are all equipped with all kinds of yumm-mm-mm-mmy reindeer feed and things. Yes, we'll greet allllll the labor-Elves who make alllll-"
"Lotta…"
"-The wonn-derful Yuletide gifts so the humans will have something to give their children this year. I mean, we Elves are far more skilled when it comes to hand-crafting toys than they are… can you imagine the Humans-"
"Lotta, we really need to get go-"
"-carving out skis or making little dollies from hay and cloth and little buttons for eyes and-"
"Lotta!"
Epilotta finally stopped delivering her lengthy soliloquy - the two reindeer exchanged a long glance and let out a pair of identical sighs of relief. She took a step back to look up at the buckboard. "Ah… yes?"
"We really, really need to get going," Rocky said and took the reins.
"I'll be right there, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said and returned to the reindeer. When she realized she had lost the proverbial thread somewhere, she broke out in a shrug before she zipped over to climb up on the sleigh's passenger side.
A moment later, she wiggled around so her Elfin tush would be comfortable on the furry bench - all the in-flight snacks and beverages had been stored underneath the seat along with their snow goggles, extra gloves, the maps of the territory they were to fly over and finally a few sewing tools so they could repair the reindeer's harnesses in case of problems.
A pair of special, lined boxes held their precious Elf hats that featured the exclusive golden bobbles that marked them out as members of Santa's fabled A-Team Elves - Rocky and Lotta had earned their spot in the elite corps the hard way: by saving a couple of human children who had wandered off from their homes in the middle of a night where King Frost's icy breath swept the lands.
"Who are the deer pulling us today, dearest Rocky?" Lotta said as the sleigh took off from the curb and began to slide along Chestnut Street.
"Koaflocka and Lidokamberka," Rocky said as she kept a loose, but controlled, grip on the reins. "I wanted to borrow Sammi-Sima for the trip because she knows us so well, but her owner says she's a bit under the weather at the moment."
A sad frown fell over Lotta's expressive face. "Oh, no… let's pray to the Great Elf that it's not serious. She's been so good to us over the Elfin years."
"Yes. Well, Koaflocka and Lidokamberka are solid beasts of burden, so they'll be fine. And if they're fine, we're fine," Rocky said with a smile.
They soon turned off Chestnut Street to head into the older sections of Elf Springs. The streets were narrower there which meant the modern, wider sleighs needed to be driven with greater care. Rocky's centuries of experience hauling freight all over the known world meant she had no problems with the trickier conditions, but a two-seater sporty-sleigh that had ended up in a precarious position halfway up a tall bank of snow proved that not all drivers were as skilled as she.
The reindeer that had pulled the sleigh was none the worse for wear and was in fact being fed by a member of the firewatch - the Elf who had been holding the reins stood next to his wrecked two-seater while scratching his neck.
Lotta waved at him as they slid past; there were plenty of Elves present to help him get the sleigh back onto the street, so there was no need for the A-Team to stop and possibly lose time.
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The scores of little bells on Rocky's jinglestick sent out their merry jingling as the sleigh rattled along the streets on its waxed runners. Lotta couldn't wipe the Elfin-wide smile off her face as they drove past all the traditional sights of Elf Springs: the central ice rink where at least fifty Elves enjoyed themselves pirouetting, speed-skating or simply stumbling along; the legendary Hen's Teeth Pub that all the veteran long-haul sleigh drivers called their home away from home; a bakery where a seventeen-strong line of Elves proved that the master baker had just pulled fresh treats out of the oven; a huge snow-ball fight involving a dozen junior Elves and finally an open-air sing-along led by Patticake Elf and her Elfin-world-famous Seven Snowflakes Caroling Choir.
"Oh!" Lotta suddenly cried as she spotted a familiar lady-Elf walking along the sidewalk carrying a shopping bag. "You meet the most wonn-derful of Elves in the most wonn-derful of places! Greetings, Trixie!" she continued as she whipped off her floppy-cone Elf hat to wave at her neighbor Trickamore 'Trixie' Elf - Trixie waved back with great enthusiasm.
Once the Elf hat was back on Lotta's red locks, she scooted over to her left and snuggled up to Rocky. "I hope we'll be offered some snacks when we get to Toy Factory One… I'm a little peckish already…"
"I know for a fact you had breakfast this morning, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and shot her life-partner a sideways Look.
"Only a little one… half a dozen well-buttered raisin buns. And that was several Elfin hours ago!"
Rocky snickered into her hand - she knew what was coming. "So you're asking if we could stop at the bakery on Beechwood Drive before we take off?"
Lotta echoed the snicker and dug herself into Rocky's side. "You know me too well, dearest Rocky… it's not too far out of the way, is it?"
"No… only halfway across Elf Springs from where we are right now."
"Oh… well-"
"Perhaps you could open one of the boxes of snacks you stored-"
"No-no-no, we can't do that!" Lotta said and shook her head vehemently. "We might need them later!"
Rocky let out another snicker as she pulled the reins to change direction. "Ah, of course. Why didn't I think of that?" she said and briefly stuck out her Elfin-pink tongue - it earned her a little squeal and a kiss on the cheek.
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The last few stanzas of A Little Elf Traveled Far - one of Lotta's favorite songs from the traditional Elfin Song Book - were sung at maximum volume as the colorful sleigh turned onto the fir-lined road that had been reserved for take-offs and landings.
Although the road's surface was snowy-white and slippery rather than gray and dry, the waxed runners and Rocky's experience would make the event a safe one for all concerned. As soon as they lined up pointing straight down the center of the strip, Rocky jumped off to go through the compulsory pre-flight checklist: the runners and their struts were inspected thoroughly as were the leather reins, the harnesses and the wooden yoke. Straps were tightened, buckles were pulled and wood was knocked upon to test its structural rigidity.
A "Hmmm…" escaped Rocky as her keen, pointy ears picked up an odd noise after she had knocked on the strut that held Lidokamberka in place on the right-hand side. Another "Hmmmm!" followed soon after when she realized the noise hadn't come from the wood but from Lotta who munched loudly on one of the fresh slices of runny Welsh bread they had bought at the bakery.
When Lotta realized she had interrupted the pre-flight check, she tried to munch as quietly as Elfinly possible, but there were limits to what an Elf could do. No Elf anywhere in the Elfin world would talk through a mouthful of food, so she munched double-quick to get it all down before she said: "Sorry, dearest Rocky… I just had to… you know… get it while it was the runniest and yummiest."
"I understand. I can't wait to sample the gingerbread we bought," Rocky said and snickered into her hand. The rest of the checklist was completed with no problems so she was soon back on the bench seat. Taking the reins, she rolled her Elfin shoulders a few times before she looked at her passenger.
Lotta put away the paper bag and prepared herself for the imminent take-off. She pushed her Elfin tush as far back on the seat as it would go; then she pressed the tips of her boots against the inside of the front buckboard and grabbed hold of the metal rail that ran across the width of the sleigh. A little wiggle was required to get herself comfortable, but she was soon in place.
Rocky's Elfin eyes finished sweeping the heavens above their intended flight path - the final item on the pre-flight checklist - before she slapped the reins and let out a strong: "Yah! Yah, Koaflocka! Yah, Lidokamberka!"
The experienced reindeer had performed enough take-offs to know it was foolish to burn off too much energy too soon into the run - thus, they set off at a controlled, stress-free pace that gathered momentum as they went along. Their legs had been reduced to blurry lines in the air as they reached the halfway point of the strip.
Behind the fast-moving Elfin vehicle, the snow that had been kicked up by the hooves and the runners couldn't stay aloft for long. As it fell silently to the ground, the rays of the low sun were reflected in the individual snowflakes creating a marvelous spectacle.
Since the sleigh didn't carry any cargo unlike those that hauled gifts around the world, the actual take-off was effortless and the runners soon left the ground. Leaning back, Rocky tugged at the reins to let Koaflocka and Lidokamberka know they should climb to the preferred cruising altitude of twelve-hundred feet.
The advanced aerodynamics of the sculpted buckboard meant the strong headwind never caused turbulence or buffeting on the bench seat occupied by the Elves. Lotta snickered out loud as she tried to poke her gloved hand out past the sleigh's side - the force of the wind tore at her sleeve at once which made her yank it back inside. "Y'know, dearest Rocky… I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how that works."
"Well-"
"On the other Elfin hand, I don't really care. Do you want to play a game? Please say yes!" Lotta continued, displaying her most winning smile.
Rocky chuckled at her life-partner's ability to change the subject in half an Elfin heartbeat. She offered the redhead Elf a sly glance before she broke out in a shrug. "Sure. How about I Spy With My Elfin Eye while we're still over Elf Springs? Once we get out into the woodlands, there won't be much to use."
"By the Great Elf, that's a good idea! I'll start. I Spy With My Elfin Eye… something that begins with an… a… an… a… an R."
"Reindeer rump," Rocky said with a grin as she pointed at Lidokamberka's wiggling body part that was placed not three feet in front of the sleigh's passenger compartment.
The corners of Lotta's mouth had a quick notion of joining the Southern Elves before she perked up once more and snickered into her hand. "We've played too much, dearest Rocky… now it's your turn."
---
An hour into the flight, the snores that came from the right-hand side of the bench seat proved Lotta was in the middle of a set of forty-odd winks. Rocky continued to scan the skies ahead of the sleigh - she had seen several flocks of geese and other large migrating fowls within the past fifteen Elfin minutes, so she was more alert than usual.
With the exception of vicious mutts down in the human world, Elves had few natural enemies among the animal kingdom. Although the sacred White Wolves who patrolled the Magical Calshiweah Forest to the north of Elf Springs were distant relatives of the vicious mutts, their close ties to the Great Elf herself meant they saw the Elves as someone to protect rather than simple prey.
The majestic polar bears that roamed the great, icy waters to the far north didn't consider the Elves a threat so they were on friendly terms. The untamed reindeer that ran free across so much of the Elfin realm had little business with the Elves until they were called up to work as sleigh-pullers, and the foxes that inhabited the frozen tundra elsewhere within the Elfin realm didn't care either way - a special case could be made for the heavy-set moose who had been known to accidentally step on Elfin feet simply because they had missed the tiny, little folks zipping around their long legs, but it was never done intentionally or in malice.
Large fowls formed the only exception to the general rule. As every long-haul sleigh-driver knew, whenever they came across groups of cranes, impertinent seagulls, short-tempered swans, lumbering pelicans or - worst of all - large formations of yakking geese, it was better to yield ahead of time instead of standing one's ground and ending up with an Elfin-big faceful of feathers.
Geese in particular were notorious for not paying attention to their surroundings. Once the formation leader had laid down the pace and direction by squawking, the rest would follow blindly regardless of oncoming traffic.
In fact, one of the worst in-flight incidents for Rocky and Lotta had happened during an encounter with a flock of geese. Rocky had needed to perform such an abrupt dive to clear a formation that Lotta lost an entire, well-buttered raisin bun she had been about to eat - the bun in question simply sailed over the edge of the sleigh and was never heard from again.
Rocky let out a dark grunt as she clapped eyes on a huge V-shaped formation of geese a couple of miles ahead and a few hundred feet below the sleigh. It was still out of earshot, but she could already sense how the formation leader let out the characteristic squawking to keep the other fowls on the straight and narrow.
To avoid any kind of problems on the important trip, Rocky tugged at the reins to alert Koaflocka and Lidokamberka that a mid-air course correction was required. A gently banked turn later, she and the beasts of burden aimed at the tail-end charlies of the large formation in the hope the fowls would be gone by the time the Elves got there.
Lotta's snores turned into a grunt, a yawn and plenty of smacking of lips as she came to from her little nap. Once she had wiped the sleepies from her Elfin eyes, she looked around to get her bearings.
The sky above them had already begun to grow dark toward the east - the brightest stars twinkled merrily, but they merely formed the vanguard of the myriad of tiny lights that would join later. Toward the west, the last rays of the setting sun illuminated the clouds to create a spectacular palette of colors; bluish-purple dominated, but all shades of pink and red were on display somewhere.
Lotta craned her neck to see if the Great Elf had begun to dance across the heavens with her green veil fluttering behind her, but it was still too bright to see the eternal light show. "Oh! Geese! And plenty of 'em, too!" she said and pointed at their feathery fellow flyers.
"I see them. We should clear them without dramas," Rocky said before she fell silent. Another grunt escaped her when she noticed how loose the formation was near its center. The tenth goose in line on the right-hand wing of the V-shape paid no attention to the direction the formation leader was going. Its mind was obviously on other things as it drifted further and further away from those it was meant to follow - and every goose behind it stuck blindly to the wrong course instead of going with the true formation leader.
"Sugar-plum-mush, those geese… buncha featherheads," Rocky mumbled as she tugged the reins again to create an ever wider separation zone.
Lotta let out a grunt of sympathy before she reached down into the footwell to find a cookie tin. The lid was soon off so she could dive into the yummy treats. "Dearest Rocky… could I tempt you with a cruller? Or a vanilla ring? Or perhaps a peppernut or ten?"
"Vanilla ring," Rocky said with a grin as she held up her Elfin pinkie.
Lotta grinned back before she attached the circular cookie with the gap in the center around Rocky's finger. "So… how far are we from Toy Factory One?" she said before she stuffed her Elfin face with an entire Elfin handful of peppernuts.
"About an Elfin hour or so. Maybe a little less if we can avoid another feathered foul-up," Rocky replied before her mouth was too busy munching on the vanilla ring to be used for talking.
The earlier peppernuts hadn't lasted long between Lotta's jaws of Elfin doom, so she scooped up another handful at once. "An Elfin hour? All right… Wanna play Which Animal Am I?"
Rocky needed to munch extra-hard before she could reply: "Mmmm-okay. I'll start. Hmmm… okay. I have four legs."
"Reindeer!"
"Nope!" Rocky said with a grin; it widened when Lotta scrunched up her face and rubbed her chin to get her gray Elfin-matter into the proper mode for playing the traditional game.
-*-*-*-
The heavens surrounding the fast-moving sleigh had turned empty by the time the proper darkness of mid-afternoon fell upon it. Rocky kept her Elfin eyes peeled just in case there were any goosey stragglers she needed to evade, but they had the airspace to themselves.
The Which Animal Am I? game had gone well for both parties: it had ended in a tie after five rounds, so Lotta was deep in thought - and thus silent as a sleeping Elf - while she pondered the tie-breaker.
Rocky's keen eyesight suddenly picked up a source of light down on the ground. Although it was still a few miles ahead of them, there was no mistaking the light's swinging motions - it marked the southern perimeter of the main approach to Toy Factory One, so Rocky tugged at the reins to get Koaflocka and Lidokamberka to line up accordingly. The sleigh performed a gentle turn that eventually saw the light source align perfectly with the yoke's central beam.
"Did I miss something, dearest Rocky?" Lotta said as she looked up.
Nodding, Rocky pointed ahead although there was little to see in the mounting darkness. "Yes. We need to save the rest of the game for later. We're almost at our first stop. Look, there's an Elf holding a landing light."
"Oh! All-righty, then…" Lotta said and shuffled around on the bench seat to prepare for the imminent landing. Once her tush had been pushed back to the backrest, her boots pressed against the inner buckboard and her hands rested on the railing, she broke out in a wide Elfin grin.
"Are you all set, sweet Lotta?"
"All set!"
"Entering final approach," Rocky said before she clucked her tongue and slapped the reins to let Koaflocka and Lidokamberka know they should begin the descent. Everything went according to plan so she was able to lower her shoulders and relax a little. "Say… weren't you meant to hold a speech?"
"I am!"
"So did you memorize it? I haven't seen any kind of paper or anything… usually, you'd have been over it like a busy-bee-Elf."
Lotta's smile briefly faded before it returned to full strength. "Oh, it's in my bag, dearest Rocky," she said and added a playful, little slap on her life-partner's leg.
"Okay," Rocky said and fell silent for a short while. The experienced reindeer took care of business up front, and a square, gray, nondescript building featuring a wide entrance soon appeared through the late-afternoon gloom. Rocky glanced down into the footwell. Then she glanced at Lotta. Then she glanced at the bench seat they sat on, or rather at the storage room beneath it. Then she glanced at Lotta all over again. "Well… that's fine, sweet Lotta… but
where's your bag?"
"Oh, it's down in the storage compart-" Lotta said before she cut herself off between syllables. Her Elfin breath hitched and she gained an odd, cross-eyed expression upon her fair, Elfin face as the hideous truth dawned on her. "No… it's… not. It's… it's… I… put it… on… on my bed. In my bedroom. In my house. A million miles behind us!"
"Maybe not quite that many," Rocky said and snickered into her hand, but her sly comment was ignored.
"Rocky… I forgot my speech! Santa's Suspenders, I can't be-leeeee-ve it!" Lotta cried and pulled her Elf hat down to cover her eyes. She shook her head over and over which made her red locks whip around. "Oh, by the Great Elf… I forgot my speech…"
"I'm afraid we don't have time to go back for it."
Lotta's head was given an additional seven shakes before she broke out in an Elfin howling: "Ohhhhhhhhhh… how could I forget it? Now I'll have to Elfin improvise! And it was such an Elfin good speech, too… I spent three days working on it and then I left it on the bed… oh, sugar-plum-mush!"
Rocky snickered at the hard profanity that spewed from her life-partner's pink lips. She cast a sideways glance at the flushed Elf before she reached over to offer a hand. Once Lotta had taken it, they gave each other a fair squeeze. "It'll all work out, sweet Lotta. I promise," Rocky said before she needed to concentrate on the actual landing.
---
A few moments later, Koaflocka, Lidokamberka and the sleigh carrying the two Elves blasted through the portal and into the hangar of Toy Factory One.
Because it was the oldest by far, it was rudimentary compared to the factories that had been built later. Everything was held in shades of dull with no signs of Yuletide tinsel or ornaments anywhere. To offset the visual drabness, large noise-making-things hanging around here and there played all the classic Yuletide tunes and songs so the labor-Elves could get into a festive mood.
The hangar's main features were the three arrow-straight runways: one for landing and two for take-offs. At the far end of the hangar, seven cargo sleighs were lined up at the loading ramp while pallets of wrapped gifts were wheeled out on carts of all sizes. The loadmaster-Elf - whose indispensable pea-whistle and clipboard were ready at all times - supervised everything with a typically stern gaze.
A corral for the reindeer was located off to the right of the loading ramp. At present, it was home to eighteen beasts who were tended to by expert veterinarians, deer-wranglers, groomers, harness-masters and poop-scoopers.
The latter group consisted of Junior Elves whose green ascots were matched exactly by the colors tainting their faces. Although the task was smelly and not something to be discussed over dinner, it was a traditional part of the Elfin rite of passage that all Elves had gone through since the birth of the Great Elf herself - every-Elf had hairy stories to tell about the years spent as poop-scoopers, and the more mature Elves could only wince in sympathy when another load was produced by the hard-working reindeer.
Koaflocka and Lidokamberka worked in perfect unison with Rocky's commands as the sleigh's runners touched down on the runway; the landing was an Elfin-smooth affair that hardly produced a bump or rattle. The clip-clopping hooves soon slowed down to a fast beat that saw the sleigh moving ahead at its regular tempo.
Reaching the end of the runway, Rocky tugged the reins which made the beasts of burden turn left and jog over to the reindeer corral where they were welcomed by the various groups of labor-Elves.
Lotta's face was still scrunched up and her precious Elf hat with the golden bobble was still pulled down to cover her eyes. Letting out a groan, she dared a brief peek at their surroundings. The drooping corners of her mouth moved upward at the sound of the Hustle And Bustle tune being played over the central Elfin-Announcement system and the round noise-making-things. "Oh, that's still my favorite Yuletide song," she said as she got up and stretched her back.
"I know," Rocky said as she jumped off the bench seat. Once she had walked around the front of the reindeer to give them a few pats for a job well-done, she came over to Lotta's side. "All nineteen verses of it. Right?" she said with a wink - then she put out her hand.
"You know me too well, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said and let out a snicker. Although she didn't need help to get off the sleigh, she took the Elfin hand offered to her so she could give it another Elfin-good squeeze. Once her boots had made contact with the hangar floor, the Elfin-good hand-squeeze was soon followed by an Elfin-good hug and an Elfin-good kiss.
Up on the loading ramp, a rotund Elf dressed in black clog-boots, pale-gray woolly pants and a knitted Yuletide-red vest over a tan, long-sleeved shirt hurried toward the A-Team Elves - the black ascot around his neck proved he was an Elf elder. Despite his size, he moved so fast he needed to clamp down on his rigid-cone Elf hat so it wouldn't fly off. Like many elders, he had grown a bushy full beard that proved he had plenty of Elfin years under his belt. The fellow soon descended a short flight of stairs to get down onto the same level as the guests.
"Greetings, my dear Elves! I'm Kallamakki Elf!" he said as he grabbed Lotta's hands for the traditional Elfin-greeting. Kallamakki continued to pump the petite Elf's arm up and down like the actuator on a rusty courtyard well as he went on: "I'm the administrator of Toy Factory One and I have to tell you it's such an Elfin-big honor to be visited by such luminous members of Santa's elite cadre of Elves! Oh, my Elf-ness, I can't believe I'm actually talking to the A-Team Elves! The missus will never believe it!"
Lotta's eyes grew wider and wider as her arm was nearly torn out of joint by the incessant pumping. She tried to pull back several times, but the rotund administrator insisted on maintaining contact. Since he was an Elf elder, she needed to show him the proper respect so she couldn't just yank her hand back, but the horrified look upon her face proved she was about to get worried about the state of her rotator cuff and everything else inside her shoulder and arm. "Ugh- ugh- ugh- ah- that's- very nice, Kallamakki Elf, but- ugh- my- my arm- ugh- please- ugh- I need- ugh! My arm…"
"Oh! Quite," Kallamakki Elf said and pulled back. One Elfin second later, he went over to Rocky to repeat the performance, but the experienced sleigh-driver only allowed him a low number of pumps before she pulled back.
Grinning, Rocky wrapped her arm around Lotta to bring her into a sideways hug instead. "Greetings, Kallamakki Elf. I'm Rockabye Elf and this is Epilotta Elf. We go by Rocky and Lotta. All right?"
"Oh, certainly! Why, your reputations have preceded you! My Sweet Elf, I can't believe you're here and I'm here and we're all here… quite amazing!" Kallamakki Elf said with an Elfin-wide grin.
Lotta panted as she massaged her elbow and shoulder. She cast a worried glance at her arm until she discovered she could still flex her fingers. A smile of relief spread over her fair features, but it was soon swept away when the administrator reached out toward her once more.
"Come, my dear, dear, Elves!" Kallamakki Elf said as he held out his hand like he expected the A-Team Elves needed to be led like a pair of Junior Elves. "We have prepared a small feast for you in the mess. I hope you have room for some sweet white ale-"
A cry of "Ooooh!" burst out of Lotta.
"-and a wide selection of Yuletide cookies and pastries-"
"Ooooooooooooooooh!"
"-and plenty of rice pudding-"
Kallamakki Elf stopped right in the middle of the sentence when he realized he was talking to an empty spot on the floor. Turning around to stare at the doors leading away from the hangar, he only had time to witness a fleeting glimpse of a petite lady-Elf who ran so fast her legs had turned just as blurry as those on the reindeer in flight.
He shot a puzzled glance at Rocky who could only shrug as she moved toward the exit at a more sedate pace. "Happens every single time some-Elf says 'rice pudding,'" she said and snickered into her hand.
-*-*-*-
Lotta never slowed down as she raced through the many corridors and passageways of Toy Factory One to get to the central mess hall. The turns were taken at top-Elfin-speed, and she zipped along the straight parts at such a dizzying pace it almost sent smoke signals up from the soles of her boots. A loud cry of "Yippie!" escaped her as she reached a pair of swinging doors labeled Plenum Mess Hall.
After blasting through the doors, she came to a screeching halt in one of the few remaining open spaces inside. Although the mess hall was an enormous room with room for several hundred Elves at any one time, the floorspace was severely limited because every square inch was already filled by an Elf - it seemed every-Elf who worked at the toy factory had turned up to meet the A-Team and to hear their speech.
The soles of Lotta's boots eventually provided enough retardation of her rapid approach to keep her from knocking over half a dozen Elves. After she had used her arms as a balance pole to stay upright, she gawked at the countless Elves in a wide-eyed stupor: there were tall Elves, short Elves, young Elves, old Elves, skinny Elves and not-exactly-skinny Elves. Inuit Elves, Norse Elves, Southern Elves, Eastern Elves and African Elves were all represented as was every other color and Elfie-dentity known to Elf.
"Whoa, wouldya look at all those Elves… greeeeeeeetings, all you wonn-derful Elves!" she cried at the top of her Elfin lungs. Yelling wasn't enough by far, so she whipped off her A-Team Elf hat and waved it high in the air as she went further into the circle of Elves.
The cheer and applause created by her greeting nearly bowled her over; a big, ol' Elfin grin wouldn't leave her Elfin face as she wandered through the assembled Elves to grasp arms and comment on various Elfin-good clothing items. "Ohhhhhhh, this is so, so, so! So wonn-derful, every-Elf! Thank you! Thank you! Santa thanks you too!" she said as she was guided over to a dais that had been built in the middle of the mess hall.
The double-doors opened again to reveal Rocky and Kallamakki Elf. When the Elves nearest the doors recognized the other member of Santa's legendary A-Team, another round of cheers and applause broke out that soon turned into a wall of noise all over again.
Rocky's waves were perhaps a little less flamboyant than Lotta's, but she was given the same attention as she walked through the Elf-assembly on her way over to the dais. Kallamakki Elf tried to keep up, but he found his progress blocked by his own labor-Elves who were far more interested in getting close to the fabled A-Team than rubbing shoulders with their administrator.
Lotta had already made it up onto the dais where she performed a few excited dance moves straight out of the Woods-Elf Clog Polka: she made four revolutions one way and four revolutions the other way before she did a little hop-hop-hop and clapped her hands.
The super-excited Elf was soon joined by Rocky who abstained from making any fancy dance moves. Instead, the long-haul sleigh-driver took off her own A-Team hat and used it to wave at the Elves below.
Lotta drew a deep breath to start the official part of the visit, but Kallamakki Elf had other plans and began to clamber up onto the foot-high dais - his far heavier Elfin-frame meant he needed several Elves assisting his arms and pushing his somewhat wide Elfin tush to get the entire thing up there. "Ah! Thank you, dear Elves," he said while he adjusted his Elf hat and his clothes that had been knocked askew or pulled apart by the maneuver. "Before we hear from the A-Team Elves, please let me say all you Elves have all made me so proud of being the administrator-Elf of this grand, old facility. Thank you, every-Elf! Let's hear it for the Elves and for the A-Team! Elf! Elf! Elf! Elf! Eeeeeeeelf!"
As the spectating Elves all followed Kallamakki Elf in delivering the traditional cheery chant, Lotta and Rocky needed to clamp down on their golden-bobbled Elf hats to withstand the wall of happy noises that came their way.
Rocky took a step back while Lotta moved one ahead - the petite lady-Elf whipped off her Elf hat all over again and waved it in a most enthusiastic fashion. "Thank you! Thank you, dear Elves! Thank you! Now, I need to start by saying-"
'Where's the rice pudding?' a cheeky-Elf cried somewhere in the crowd; the joke made a ripple of laughter roll through some of the Elves, but several other Elves shuffled side-to-side like Elves often did when they found something or some-Elf to be excruciatingly embarrassing.
"Ooooh, I could have said that, that's right! No question!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand. "No, I was about to make a confession…. I forgot my cotton-candy speech back home in Elf Springs…"
A chorus of "Awwwwww…" was heard from the Elves, but Lotta put her hands in the air to show it wasn't quite as bad as that. "Yes, but it doesn't matter as I know exactly what to say. My dear, dear Elves… I know for a fact that Santa and Mrs. Santa are very, very, verr-rr-rr-y impressed and proud of the efforts all you Elves put into your work! When my dearest, dearest Rockabye and I met Santa and Mrs. Santa yesterday, they told me once, twice and in fact three times that I simply had to tell you how proud they were. All you Elves embody the work ethic and Elfin instincts that were handed down from our Elfin ancestors. Without you Elves, none of the wonderful, wonderful, wonn-derful, glorious, bright, shiny, green, golden, purple and Yuletide-red traditions would be able to go on! Ohhh, it warms my Elfin heart to know that the ol' Yuletide is in safe Elfin hands!"
Rapturous applause burst forth like a melodic tidal wave; it grew so strong that Lotta needed to clamp down on her Elf hat all over again. "All right, my dear, dear Elves… where's the rice pudding?!" she cried much to every-Elf's delight.
Kallamakki Elf stepped up to the edge of the dais and held his hand by his mouth to use it as an amplifier. "Bring in the food, the ale and the Yuletide treats!" he said in a loud voice before he broke out in a wild cheer that was soon echoed among the labor-Elves.
As several Elves from the kitchen staff wheeled in large carts loaded to the edges with all kinds of glorious Yuletide foods, Rocky pulled Lotta aside. An Elfin kiss on the Elfin cheek followed before she leaned down to whisper: "That was a beautiful speech, sweet Lotta… almost as beautiful as the Elf holding it."
Lotta let out a proper Elfin snicker that she concealed with her hand. "You think? I was quite pleased with it… only…"
"Yes, sweet Lotta?"
"Do we have time for another Elfin-good kiss?"
"Always," Rocky said and promptly leaned down to fulfil the request.
When the cheeky-Elf from earlier broke out in a loud 'There's the rice pudding!' every-Elf responded by cheering and making a beeline for the food carts to get some while the sweet white ale was cold, the pudding was hot and the butter runny.
---
A fair bit of Elfin-time later, Rocky and Lotta shuffled down to the hangar to return to their sleigh. The formerly spry Lotta seemed somewhat less so after the voluminous feast, and she yawned several times on their way through the corridors and passageways.
The petite lady-Elf carried a large bag that the chief cook-Elf had stuffed full of cookie tins; the tins contained not only the classics among the Yuletide treats like peppernuts, vanilla rings, Finnish bread, crullers and the star-shaped brown cookies, but several experimental ones as well to have them tested under realistic conditions.
Rocky snickered into her hand as she caught a glimpse of the bleary look upon her life-partner's face. "Lotta, I think you may have gone a little overboard this time… I mean, four helpings of rice pudding?"
"But it was so yumm-mm-mm-mm-y, dearest Rocky… how could I or any-Elf say no to yummy rice pudding?" Lotta said and cast a puzzled glance at Rocky. "The cinnamon was perfect and the butter so, so, so, SO very special I have never tasted anything like it. It was… it was… oh, it was… Elfin yummy. That's the only Elfin word that fits, really."
"I agree, it was Elfin yummy… but four helpings?"
Lotta snickered, but the joyous sound was only allowed a few Elfin moments in the wild before it was interrupted by a small hiccup and a huge yawn. After smacking her Elfin lips several times, she rubbed her Elfin eyes and broke out in a shrug. "But it was so yummy…"
Rocky knew that was all the reason any-Elf needed, so she settled for grinning and wrapping her arm around Lotta's shoulders. An Elfin-good sideways squeeze followed before they entered the hangar to prepare for take-off.
-*-*-*-
The strangest of noises accompanied the sleigh's progress across the vast, eternal heavens. It didn't come from the yoke or the leather harness holding Koaflocka and Lidokamberka in place, nor was it produced by the reindeer themselves. The runners couldn't send out such a strange noise while the sleigh was at the preferred cruising altitude of twelve-hundred feet, and it definitely wasn't created by Elfin-good games or even merry singing from the Great Elfin Songbook.
The source of the noise was revealed when Rocky looked down at the Elfin-red locks that rested across her lap: the wide-open Elfin yap of one Epilotta Elf let out a constant rumble of snoring that resembled what an entire regiment of hard-working lumber-Elves could produce with their saws.
Lotta was flat on her back on the bench seat with her head resting on Rocky's thigh. The four helpings of rice pudding - not to mention the five tankards of sweet white ale she had chugged down - had taken their toll on the petite Elf and had sent her to dream-Elf-land on the proverbial Reindeer Express. She shuffled around now and then, but the slight gestures never stopped the Elfin sawmill that seemed to exist somewhere inside her.
Snickering again, Rocky looked up at the spectacular light show that Lotta couldn't see while she slept. The Great Elf was in a playful mood high above the sleigh, the beasts of burden and the A-Team Elves: not only did her green veil reach from one horizon to the other, it moved around in erratic patterns that proved she was having an Elfin-good time up there.
The urge to share the moment with her life-partner made Rocky reach down and caress the sleeping Elf's cheek. A mere caress wasn't strong enough to bring Lotta back from dream-Elf-land, but a subsequent tickle-tickle-tickle of her Elfin nose did the trick.
Still in a semi-sleeping state, Lotta reached up to defeat the persistent tickle; when she touched the dastardly digits that had performed the teasing, she let out a snicker and opened her eyes - one Elfin second later, she caught an Elfin eyeful of the magical spectacle high above.
"Ohhhhh!" she cried and bolted upright. Craning her Elfin neck wasn't enough to take it all in, so she twisted around on the bench to look at the vast vista behind the sleigh. "Look! Look, dearest Rocky!"
"I'm looking, all right…" Rocky said with a firm gaze on Lotta's excited Elfin being rather than the Great Elf's veil.
"I have never, ever, evarrrrr seen it this large, Rocky! And it's not just green tonight… it's red and pink and purple and- and- and- and- even a little orange and- and- and- every color known to Elf! It's like a reall-ll-lly large Elfin rainbow up there!" Lotta said as she reached out to try to grasp the veils with her Elfin fingers - ever since she had seen her very first Northern Lights as an itty-bitty-Elf, she had attempted to pull it down to her so she could play with it as well. "Maybe it means the Great Elf has her entire family up there with her for the Season To Be Jolly!"
"Wouldn't that be nice? There's nothing like a grand, old Elf-get-together," Rocky said as she took in nature's colorful and certainly marvelous spectacle. "And you're right… it does seem to be wider than ever. It might be an omen of some kind."
"Let's hope it's a good one! Yes… now you mention it, dearest Rocky… I do feel the Great Elf is trying to tell us something… perhaps if we strain our Elfin ears, we can hear her better? Hush, let's listen…" Lotta said and put a hand behind her pointy ear - Rocky soon followed suit.
The A-Team Elves sat like that for a short Elfin-minute or so before Lotta let out a puzzled grunt. "Oh, that's too bad. I couldn't hear anything."
"Me neither," Rocky said and once more concentrated on driving the sleigh.
Lotta scratched her red hair a couple of times before she put her Elfin hand behind her pointy ear for a second bite of the candied cherry. "No… only the wind and the eternal silence. Perhaps the Great Elf and her family have been seated at the supper table to enjoy a bowl of rice pudding? No Elf will ever talk with their mouth full…"
"I'm sure that's it, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and broke out in a solemn nod.
They flew on in silence until the familiar gray structure of Toy Factory Three appeared far below them. It was merely a blurry outline against the bright-white snow at first, but more and more details grew visible the closer they got to it.
Not that the visual aspects amounted to much: the factory was square, gray and one of the dullest buildings ever created within the Elfin realm - that its sixteen assembly lines produced toys that made children all over the world laugh and cheer was nothing short of a proper Yuletide miracle.
One question burned brightly on Epilotta Elf's mind as Rocky and the reindeer brought the sleigh in to land. Though she shuffled into place to obtain the proper landing position, a mask of concern fell over the petite Elf's face. Her Elfin lips moved in silence as if the words that had already been formed on her Elfin tongue were reluctant to escape into the world. "Rocky…" she eventually said in a quiet croak, "is Knarli Elf still working as the Elfin loadmaster?"
"Well, he was last week, so… yeah, probably," Rocky said with a nod and a shrug. When it didn't garner a response from Lotta, she glanced at her companion to see why - the somber look on the petite Elf's features spelled out the reason in two-feet tall block letters. "Oh, sweet Lotta, you really, really need to get over that hang-up. Knarli Elf is a jolly old Elf… well… all right… no, he isn't, he's a short-tempered curmudgeon… but as he always says, laughter is serious business."
"I'll wager you a peppernut that he'll yell at me the second he sees our sleigh," Lotta said in a mumble.
---
Lotta did in fact win the bet, but the way it transpired meant that Rocky called it a 'no contest' so they could both have a peppernut. The ever-grouchy loadmaster Knarli Elf hadn't yelled at Lotta the second he saw them - he waited until the next second after that because he'd had his pea-whistle in his mouth at the time, and that needed to be removed first.
That one of Santa's elite A-Team Elves had pulled her golden-bobbled Elfin hat down to cover her Elfin-green eyes was one thing, but that she had ducked her Elfin head down between her Elfin shoulders to cover for the Yuletide-red blotches that tainted her Elfin cheeks was something else.
Rocky did the only natural thing in that particular situation: she wrapped an Elfin arm around her life-partner and pulled her close for an Elfin-good hug.
---
Instead of addressing the labor-Elves in the mess hall like down south at Toy Factory One, the site for the appreciation ceremony had shifted to the main hangar so all the Elves who carried out the vital tasks there could be present. A short fifteen Elfin-minutes after arriving, Lotta had to endure standing next to her dreaded bugbear Knarli Elf throughout her speech atop the concrete ramp at the loading bays.
Now in his mid-seven-hundreds, the persistently grumpy and grouchy Knarli Elf refused to retire until some-Elf came along who could fill his shoes as the loadmaster of the largest and most modern toy factory. The last few Elves who had applied for the prestigious job had only lasted a small handful of days each - it seemed that when it came to the actual, hands-on aspects of the job, every-Elf bar Knarli Elf underestimated the effort required.
On this day, he wore black clog-boots, gray, woolly pants, a white, long-sleeved shirt and a vest that had a forest-green back and a Yuletide-red front. His Elfin face and head were graced by a long, gray full beard and a floppy-cone Elf hat, respectively. His scrunched-up features and the sublimely annoyed look in his Elfin eyes proved he'd much rather be anywhere else at that particular moment in time.
Down on the hangar floor, the veterinarians, the Junior-Elf poop-scoopers, the harness-masters, the groomers, the feeders, the reindeer wranglers and the labor-Elves who tirelessly pushed the heavy carts out to the waiting long-haul sleighs were lined up seven-Elves deep to listen to the petite Elf's speech.
The noises from around the busy hangar made it harder for Lotta to be heard compared to the relative quiet of the plenum mess hall down south at Toy Factory One, but she showed some of her inner strength by managing to push through - the constant din was produced by the empty sleighs that came in to land and the heavily-laden ones that took off for the world of the Humans further south.
"Yes, my Elfin friends! It's true!" Lotta said in a strong voice while she spread her arms out wide to underscore the magnificence of the message. "Santa told my dearest, dearest Rocky and I to tell each and every one of you wonn-derful Elves that he is boundlessly proud and grateful for all the hard work you do Elfin-day-in, Elfin-day-out! The Season To Be Jolly is a toughie for all of us, we can all agree on that, but knowing how much Santa cares and appreciates what we do… well, how can that not act as a lighthouse in the night for us? Come, my Elfin friends! Let us defeat the Ticklemonsters, the Teasing Fairies and the spooky Poultry-Elves who make things go ba-da-bump-whump in the night and make this Yuletide the best ever! Let's hear it for our dearest human friend Santa!"
As the assembled Elves all chanted Santa's name and waved their Elf hats, Lotta's cheeks burned red-hot at the applause that came back at her. The enthusiastic Elves could not be limited to waving their hats; when one joker-Elf let out a resounding "Yodel-ay-hee-hee!" and started dancing, they all followed and jumped into various Elfin-tastic dance moves - mostly the Merry Elfin Polka and the Two-ahead-and-two-to-the-side Mazurka, but some even attempted the difficult, traditional Elfin Chain Dance that required decades of experience and couldn't be danced on an empty stomach as it had a tendency to go on for Elfin hours.
"Oooooh! Look, dearest Rocky! Some-Elf's trying to start a chain dance!" Lotta cried as she watched the chain dance line form up down on the hangar floor. She whipped her head around to find Rocky so they could join the fun and lose themselves at least for a while, but the long-haul sleigh driver was suddenly nowhere to be found.
Scratching her neck, Lotta let out a puzzled "Huh… Rocky? Rocky? Rock-kk-kk-y? Hello, Rockabye Elf? Rockabye? Attention, please, Miss Rockabye Elf… Miss Epilotta Elf would like you to snow-cone home! No… nothing. Where did my dearest Rocky go?!"
Lotta put her Elfin hands on her Elfin hips and did a full turn to try to find the other half of her Elfin soul. The first full turn wasn't enough, so she performed a second one right away - she suddenly came to a halt as a clear field of view opened up between some of the dancing Elves. Another puzzled "Huh!" was soon followed by a snicker that could only be contained by an Elfin hand.
It seemed that Rockabye Elf had joined an Olsen card game in progress - the pastime that all the long-haul sleigh drivers loved more than any other. Rocky's three fellow players were none other than her dear, old friends Sven Elf, Jasper Elf and Valdemar Elf who were all experienced long-haulers. The latter Elf wore his black ascot, his full beard and his well-worn schmutting outfit with pride to show he was an Elf elder who had literally been there and done that all around the Great Elf's blue-and-green-and-white world.
Lotta didn't want to miss the opportunity to say hello to their old friends, so she jumped off the concrete platform and zipped across the hangar floor until she reached the playing table. Once there, she came to a skidding halt to let out a hearty snicker.
Everything about the situation reminded her of the first time she and Rocky had ever met - it had been at the exact same spot in the hangar, around the exact same table, and with the exact same Elves playing the exact same type of card game.
"Hell-ll-ll-ooooo, my Elfin friends!" she cried as she zipped the rest of the way over to the table. "I would like to introduce my-Elf-self, please… greetings, Mr. Elf, Sir, how are you? My name is Epilotta Elf," she said four times in rapid succession as she zipped around the playing table and pumped arms with the middle-aged, life-long bachelor Sven Elf, the younger Jasper Elf who was a real ladies-Elf, and finally the grizzled veteran Valdemar Elf. Once she had completed the sweep of the boy-Elves, she zipped over to Rockabye Elf whose facial expression offered a hint that she seemed to find it all rather amusing.
"Remember? Remember, my dear, dear friends?" Lotta continued. "That's how I met you all for the first time only a few years ago! Ohhhhhhh, it was such a wonderful, wonderful, wonn-derful Yuletide Eve. Well, actually, it was a cotton-candy nerve-racking Yuletide Eve is what it was! I was so, so, so, SO worried that you might not like me 'cos I was fresh out of Ye Olde Elfin Academie and-"
The petite Elf showed no signs of wanting to slow down as she went around the table, at least not until Rocky pushed out a vacant chair that stood next to her own. "Sweet Lotta, you'll only wear a groove into the floor… or maybe even wear out the soles of your best schmutting boots if you keep that up! Come, have a seat and watch a hand or two. Or maybe you want to play along this time?"
"Oh, I better not, dearest Rocky… I'm not much of an Elfin card player. I always seem to lose regardless of what Elfin game it is," Lotta said and sat down. She eyed the stakes that had been put into the center of the table next to the reject pile: toothpicks, various wrapped sweets, dried figs and dates, orange, green and yellow pieces of wine gum, and finally one of the chocolate frogs with the creamy center.
"Maybe not the game of love?" Rocky said and winked at her life-partner - Lotta blushed while she broke out in a wild snicker that required both Elfin hands to contain.
Sven Elf, the self-proclaimed eternal bachelor of the group, let out an Elfin-long sigh at the cutesy banter. "Are we playing or aren't we?" he said and put down a three of hearts on top of the active pile.
"We are definitely playing, Sven," Rocky said as she put down a card - it left her holding three. "And here's a five of hearts. Can ya beat that, eh, Jas?"
An Elfin scowl proved that the junior of the bunch - the ladies-Elf was only just half a century older than Epilotta - couldn't beat or even match the five of hearts. He had to pick up one card, then another, then another, then another before he was finally rewarded with the nine of hearts. "Ha!" he cried as he slapped the card onto the pile.
The game went around to Valdemar Elf who calmly put down a nine of clubs. Back to Sven Elf who had to pick up two cards before a jack of clubs presented itself. All through this exchange, the Elfin-wide grin on Rocky's Elfin-bronzed face grew wider, wider and wider still. When it was her turn, she put down an eight of diamonds. That enabled her to call the next suit, and she did so with a brief but clear "Spades!"
Sven Elf, Jasper Elf and Valdemar Elf all groaned; they had been there too many times before not to.
Rocky sent each of them a cool, calculating, ice-blue gaze as the game went around the table once more. Everyone at the table had played their fair share of Olsen, so they knew that at least one, and possibly both, of Rocky's remaining cards would be spades or else she wouldn't have called it.
Jasper Elf added a four of spades to the active pile but still held plenty of cards in his Elfin hand. Valdemar needed to pick up three before he found the eight of clubs by sheer Elfin luck. "Ooooh! Clubs!" he said as he put down the card.
Now it was Rocky's time to groan - her remaining cards were the ace of clubs and the queen of spades. Still, putting down the ace would bring her that much closer to winning the round, so she put it on the active pile before winking at Lotta whose Elfin-wide eyes proved she found the game riveting.
Jasper Elf added to the pile of clubs with his jack; Valdemar Elf put down the four of clubs before Sven Elf suffered the frustration of needing to pick up no less than three cards before he finally found a four of spades that was put on the pile.
"Shhhh-weeeeet! Read 'em and weep, Elves!" Rocky cried as she slapped down her last remaining card on top of Sven's: the queen of spades. Her fellow players threw down their cards and pushed the pile of stakes over to their friend.
Grinning, Rocky scooped up all the little treats but let the toothpicks be for the next round. "Why, thank you, thank you… much obliged. Thank you, my dear Elfin friends!" she said as she sorted the winnings into groups. After unwrapping several treats and popping them into her mouth in one go, she offered the lady-Elf of her heart the biggest prize of all: the chocolate frog with the creamy center.
Lotta let out an "Ooooooooh!" before she snatched the frog. She held it close to admire all angles of the chocolate masterpiece at first, but then she bit it in half and leaned her head back to get the full dose of the delightful - but highly sticky - liquid caramel inside it. Once she had gulped down the caramel it didn't take long before the chocolate shell disappeared down her Elfin gullet as well.
Commotion off to their right soon caught every-Elf's attention. It was Rocky's time to shuffle the deck as the winner of the previous round, but she put down the cards when she spotted a messenger-Elf who stormed into the hangar holding a note in his gloved Elfin hand.
"Miss Rockabye Elf? Miss Epilotta Elf? Miss Rockabye Elf?! Miss Epilotta Elf?!" the messenger-Elf cried in a voice that grew louder and more panicky for each passing moment that he hadn't found the members of Santa's legendary A-Team.
"A-hep! Over here!" Rocky shouted and thrust a hand in the air.
The messenger-Elf changed course so fast he almost fell off the concrete ramp at the loading bays, but he managed to jump down onto the hangar floor rather than test his bouncing skills. "Miss Rockabye Elf? Miss Epilotta Elf?" he continued in the same, panicky voice.
Rocky and Lotta exchanged a puzzled look - Lotta even shook her Elfin head a couple of times to show her puzzlement at how an Elf could have missed such a loud and clear A-Hep!
"I already said a-hep… but I'll say it again. A-hep!" Rocky said and snickered into her hand. Once she had done that, she waved it high in the air to catch the messenger-Elf's attention.
The messenger-Elf changed direction once more but still managed to miss the two A-Team Elves - quite a feat considering the golden bobbles at the end of their Elf hats made them stand out in any gathering of Elves.
"I have an idea, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said and crouched down. Taking a deep breath, she performed one of her favored schmutting moves that she had perfected on the countless gift-dropping missions that she and Rocky had conducted for Santa: she jumped up like an Elf-in-the-Box and reached an altitude that was at least two Elfin heads above all the other Elves present. "A-heeeeeep!" she cried at the top of her Elfin lungs.
The third attempt was the charm, and the messenger-Elf finally made his way over to the A-Team and their three Olsen-playing companions. "Ahhhhhhh," he said and clutched the note. Wheezing and panting from the long run down from the administrative floor high above the hangar, he had little air left to disclose the actual issue, but he was able to let out a faltering: "Pro- pro- pro- we have a pro-" before he had to lean over and put his Elfin hands on his Elfin knees.
"Yes," Lotta said, "we know you have several professors of advanced reindeer flight mechanics stationed here…"
"N- no…"
"Sure you do! Uh, I mean… uh…" Lotta said and scratched her eyebrow.
"Pro- pro- we have a pro-"
Lotta moved her Elfin hand around to scratch her neck a couple of times; then she looked at Rocky for suggestions - the other member of the A-Team could only shrug. Sven Elf let out a grunt that was echoed by Valdemar Elf. Jasper Elf couldn't even be bothered to look at the messenger Elf; his Elfin eyes had been caught by a cute lady-Elf who worked as one of the cart-pushers.
Undaunted, Lotta turned back to the messenger-Elf. "A program? Do you have a program? And if so… uh… of what? Cotton-candy, I don't have a clue what you're trying to tell us-"
"N- no! A problem! We have a problem! An Elfin-awful ticklemonster of a problem!" the messenger-Elf said as he held out the note he had been tasked with handing over - Rocky took it at once and unfolded it.
"Oh, noes!" Lotta croaked and grabbed her Elf hat. "I shouldn't have asked…" she continued as she cast a worried glance at Rocky.
Rocky's lips moved as she read the note. A concerned shadow fell over her bronzed face as she glanced at Lotta, her dear friends in the long-haul sleigh-driving business and finally at the messenger-Elf. "This is a ticklemonster, all right. A hairy one. A big, ol' hairy one. If a rude moose or a squadron of yakking geese form an eight of ten on the ticklemonster scale, this could be a nine!"
The messenger nodded once more before he had to lean over to catch his Elfin breath all over again; Lotta let out a croaking "Ohhhhhhh…" in anticipation of some horrible news.
Sven Elf rolled his eyes and reached for the deck of cards so they could play on while they waited for their sleighs to be loaded. Jasper Elf winked at the cute lady-Elf who winked back, and Valdemar Elf scratched his Elfin chin underneath his full beard while eyeing one of the wrapped treats on the playing table - he nabbed it when no-Elf was looking.
"Lotta," Rocky said as she folded the note and stuffed it into one of the pockets of her schmutting outfit, "do you remember hearing about the Talking Santa toy that's supposed to be the number one Yuletide seller this year?"
"Hmmm… yes, I do."
"The assembly lines are all set to begin production… but the prototype model has gone missing."
Lotta scratched her neck again. "Uh… I'm not familiar with that word, dearest Rocky," she mumbled under her breath.
"That's the master all the other toys are made to resemble. Without the prototype, the labor-Elves can't begin production-"
"Ohhhhhhhhh!" Lotta cried - the floppy cone on her Elf hat was well on its way to spinning like a whirlybird, so she had to clamp down on it with both hands to keep it from taking off. "Of the biggest Yuletide seller?! And there are only three Elfin weeks until… until… oh, sugar! Plum! Mush!"
Jasper Elf let out a snicker at the hard profanity; Sven Elf grunted and began to deal. Valdemar Elf eyed the next wrapped treat, but thought better of it and concentrated on receiving his hand of cards instead.
"Indeed," Rocky said and snickered into her hand at hearing the naughty words spewing from the wholesome lady-Elf next to her. "Lotta… this is a job for Santa's A-Team Elves. We need to save the wonn-derful Yuletide."
The look of panic that had raced across Lotta's fair face was swept away and replaced by rock-solid determination. Puffing out her Elfin chest, she stood up straight and thrust an Elfin hand in the air. "Have no fear, Elves! The A-Team shall defeat this horrible ticklemonster! But first! We need some peppernuts and vanilla rings and crullers and Finnish bread and maybe even a-"
"Lotta… we don't really have time to eat…"
"But I'm peckish! I haven't had anything for nearly an Elfin hour!" Lotta said and threw her arms out wide. After an Elfin moment, they fell down again. "Oh, you're right as always, dearest Rocky. Maybe we can bring a few trail snacks while we search?"
"That we can do, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and placed a quick kiss on her life-partner's temple. Turning back to her friends, she continued: "It was so much Elfin fun to play with you, boys, but it's time to-"
"Yeah, yeah," Sven Elf said as he spread out the cards he held. "Maybe some other-Elf can win now." He winked at Rocky to take the sting out of the words and was promptly rewarded by Rocky sticking out her tongue at him.
-*-*-*-
Rockabye Elf and Epilotta Elf soon went into action. While Lotta zipped up to the plenum mess hall to stock up on the all-important trail snacks so they would be able to withstand anything the ticklemonster could throw at them, Rocky hurried through the hallways of the administrative floor knocking on office doors and searching through cupboards, wastepaper bins and closets containing scores of Elfin clothes like capes and spare pants for when the snow was so deep it went over the upper edge of the boots.
The veteran long-haul driver came to a halt outside the ninth different office she had gone through without finding anything. Rubbing her Elfin chin and letting out a "Hmmmm," she let her experienced Elfin eyes roam along the corridor that had been decorated to a T with every single kind of tinsel, garlands and multi-colored ornaments an Elf could possibly want to look at.
A Junior-Elf working in the Elfin-mail-delivery department entered the corridor down at the other end. The youngling pushed a squeaking triple-decker cart that had plenty of room for the regular business letters that were sent between Santa's Central Administration and the toy factories - the wish lists and general fan mail sent to Santa from all his Human followers were hauled on heavy-duty sleighs pulled by as many as eight reindeer as the amount was rarely less than ten gigantic bags per day.
Rocky cast an Elfin eye at the Junior-Elf who took a stack of envelopes from the cart and went into an office on the opposite side of the corridor. When he came back out, she flagged him down and strolled down to where he waited for her.
The fresh-faced youngling was only in his late one-hundreds and wore a traditional set of brown clogs, dark-gray pants, a forest-green, long-sleeved shirt and a pale-gray vest. His rigid-cone Elf hat sat crooked on his reddish locks to follow one of the current fashion trends among the juniors.
"Oh!" the youngling said the Elfin moment he clapped eyes on the golden bobble at the end of the Elf hat's floppy cone. "You- you're one of the A-Team Elves! Ohhhh, please let me clasp your arm, Miss Elf!"
"Greetings, Elf. I'm Rockabye Elf," Rocky said and put out her arm for the traditional clasping. When the Junior grabbed it and pumped it up and down like any-Elf would use a courtyard water pump, she had to hold back a guffaw. "So… do you have a name?" she said after she had finally been liberated from the hefty pumping.
"Oh! Oh, I sure do! Jensemand Elf is my name. Greetings, Rockabye Elf!" the youngling said and reached for Rocky's arm all over again, but she stepped back at the last moment.
Rocky nodded in the politest way possible, but literally kept at arm's length so she wouldn't suffer any kind of shoulder or elbow injury so close to the Season To Be Jolly. "That's nice. Say, Jensemand, you wouldn't happen to know if the designer of the new Talking Santa toy has an office on this floor, would you?"
"Oh, Professor Lissibertie Elf? Yes, her office is right down there," Jensemand said and turned around so he could point at the far end of the corridor, "but she isn't in today. I have a letter for her but nobody answered the door when I knocked just now. Strange, though… I've only been here for a few weeks, but I've heard from the veterans that the professor never, evarrrr leaves her office…"
"Hmmm," Rocky said and rubbed her chin. "All right. Thank you, Jensemand. We can't keep the mail waiting. Off you go."
Jensemand Elf bowed deeply to show the proper respect to a member of the fabled A-Team before he and his squeaky mail cart continued along the corridor; he peeked over his shoulder several times as he moved on like he couldn't believe what had just happened.
Since Lotta had yet to return from the mess hall, Rocky shuffled down to the far end of the administrative floor to study the door to professor Lissibertie Elf's office.
---
A rhythmic squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak reached Rocky's ears after she had spent a short Elfin-minute at the closed and locked door to the professor's office. Thinking it was Jensemand back for more arm-pumping, she cast a concerned glance further up the corridor.
Moments later, a long snicker escaped her as she clapped her Elfin-eyes on Epilotta Elf returning pushing a cart that was even bigger than the triple-decker mail cart - and not only that, it was bigger than she was which meant she needed to peek past it, not over it, to see where she was going.
"Santa's Suspenders!" Rocky exclaimed as she left the office door to intercept the huge cart and the petite Elf. "Look at that! What in the Elfin world did you buy, sweet Lotta?"
Epilotta moved around the corner of the cart and dusted off her hands. She looked at the twelve tins of cookies and assorted other goodies that took up all the space on the cart. "Oh, this? They're our trail snacks!"
"Twelve cookie tins and three…no, make that four bags of pastries?! We're not going to fly around the Great Elf's big, wide world, you know!"
"I know, I know, dearest Rocky, but you never know when the little hunger strikes… right?" Lotta said with a wink.
"I suppose you can't, but… cotton-candy, there can't be anything left up in the mess hall. How much did all this cost?"
Lotta grabbed Rocky's hand and gave it a few, reassuring pats on the back. "You don't have to worry, dearest Rocky, I didn't use any of our housekeeping money. Allllllll this was given to me free of charge," she said with a big, ol' Elfin grin stuck on her Elfin face. "Oh! And look at this Elfin-good yumminess here!" she continued as she took a bowl that contained a brown, mushy substance with a thin sprinkling of white on top.
Rocky furrowed her Elfin brow as she took in the odd, brown sight. "I'm not even going to guess what that is… so… what is it?"
"This, my dearest Rocky…" - Lotta dug into a pocket to find a spoon that she planted in the dish - "… is the mess chef's latest experiment. Well, it's not really an experiment as such, but more like creating something new Elfin-good out of something old Elfin-good. Do you follow me?"
"Not in the least, sweet Lotta…"
"It's pureed figs sprinkled with icing sugar! Care to sample it?"
"Sure," Rocky said and opened her Elfin yap.
Snickering, Lotta dug up a nice spoonful of the fig-puree and transported it to her dearest friend's open mouth. "All right, you can chow now," she said and let out another snicker.
Rocky made sure to process the mouthful at a slow and sensible place so she wouldn't get Elfin-tummy-troubles later on. As the rich, sweet taste spread in her mouth, she nodded and let out several appreciative noises. Once she had savored it enough, she swallowed it and broke out in a smile. "That was Elfin-good! Can I have another spoonful, please- oh…"
At the exact same time, Lotta put the spoon into the empty bowl and let out an "Ahhhhh! Wonnn-derful!" When the nature of Rocky's question reached her pointy Elfin ears, her 'Ahhhh' turned into an 'Ohhhh' instead as in: "Ohhhhh, I'm really, really, rea-ll-ll-y sorry, dearest Rocky… I just couldn't help myself. It was so yummy…"
Rocky stared at the empty bowl for a little while before she broke out in a shrug. "Well, in any case, it was Elfin-delicious. Oh, I'll just get my own bowl a little later on. Lotta, I've found the office of the professor who designed the Talking Santa toy. It's right here, but it's closed and nobody's home," she said and stepped aside to show the door.
"Did you knock?"
"Yes."
"Hard?"
"Yes."
"Really hard?"
"Yes."
"Really, really-"
"Yes."
"Oh," Lotta said and scratched her temple. Because of her regular Elfin height of two-foot-seven-in-socks, she had a much better view of the keyhole that was located just below the door handle. Leaning down, she put an Elfin eye to the tiny hole to see if there was anything to see in the first place. "I spy with my Elfin eye! Uh… not much. Well, actually, there's an Elfin-huge amount of Yuletide stuff in there, but no professor that I can see. There's a funny sound, though… from… somewhere… hmmm!"
Lotta switched from having an Elfin eye glued to the keyhole to having her pointy Elfin ear performing the same duty. "Yes, there's definitely a funny sound in there, dearest Rocky," she said after standing up straight. "I think it's some-Elf snoring. Do you think it's the professor?"
"Sweet Lotta, if I could answer that question with a clear yes or no, I would have Seeing skills… and if I did, I'd use them to find the missing prototype model instead of the missing professor," Rocky said and snickered into her hand.
"Ah… yes. You have an Elfin-good point, there… perhaps if I whistled through the keyhole, we could wake up the Elf and find out who it is?"
Rocky let out a chuckle and pulled Lotta into a sideways hug. "If we can't wake up the Elf with a hard knock on the door, I doubt whistling would work…"
"Well, I suppose that's true," Lotta said and scratched her neck. As her Elfin hand came down from her Elfin neck, it accidentally hit the door handle - which made the door open up with a creak. "Oh!" she cried as she looked at the gap that had come into being.
"It's far too impolite to wade in uninvited like a big waddlebird, so we better knock first," Rocky said and knocked on the doorjamb again. "Hello? Professor Lissibertie? Hello? Hello?"
Somewhere deep inside what turned out to be quite a large office, the familiar sound of some-Elf yawning and smacking their lips filtered through to the A-Team Elves. A split Elfin-second later, the harmonious sounds were interrupted by a large Creak-Crash-Bang! that in turn was followed by a 'Sugar plum mush!'
"I'll bet you a kiss that was a chair breaking! We need to help at once!" Lotta said and hurried inside with Rocky hot on her heels. "Professor? Professor? Hell-ll-ll-o, Professor?"
'Ugh… help! I'm down here on the floor where no Elf ought to be!' an Elfin voice said from somewhere further into the office.
"We're here, professor! Don't you worry!" Lotta shouted as she whipped her head around to find the Elf-In-Need. Four Elfin-steps into the vast office, she came to a screeching halt and threw her arms out wide. "Cotton-candy, I spoke too soon… this place is ha-uge! Rocky, look at all this!"
"I'm lookin', all right," Rocky said as she took in the sight of the office that was at least the size of Santa's own executive suite up at the Central Administration - the main difference was that Santa's office needed to be large to have room for all the bags of mail and the countless costumes he needed to wear on the Night Of Nights.
Professor Lissibertie Elf's office was an enormous maze of aisles lined by shelves that all carried so many items they sagged in the middle. The office contained dozens, scores, hundreds, perhaps even thousands of prototypes of various Yuletide gifts and other doodads stretching back several hundred years.
All the biggest sellers from the past decades were present along with several that didn't quite make it - and some of the shelves were home to a few prototypes, sketches and blueprints that were so far ahead of their time that the calendar would need to show a brand new century for them to stand a chance in any of the world's toy shops.
"Professor?! We seem to have a little Elfin trouble finding you! Could you please call out again?" Lotta cried with her Elfin hand up next to her Elfin mouth to act as an amplifier.
'I'm here!'
"Where here? There's quite a lot of 'here' here!"
'Over here… by the… uh… straight ahead!'
Lotta scrunched up her Elfin face as she turned to cast a worried glance at her friend. "Rocky… this is getting to be a really, really bad ticklemonster… straight ahead from where?"
"Probably from the door, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and put her hands on Lotta's shoulders to turn her back to the shelves. "Tell you what… you'll go left and I'll go right… we're bound to find Professor Lissibertie sooner or later."
"Oh, that's clever, dearest Rocky! I'm off!" Lotta said and zipped along so fast that little puffs of smoke escaped from the soles of her Elfin boots.
Rocky snickered into her hand as she went in the opposite direction, but her snickers soon turned into a groan when she realized there were just as many aisles and shelves on the far side of the office. She hurried through seven aisles without seeing any-Elf anywhere; in fact, she saw little but hundreds and hundreds of old toy prototypes.
When Rocky and Lotta reunited after three Elfin-minutes of fruitless searching, Lotta threw her arms out wide all over again. "Santa's Suspenders, we need the Elf Mountain Rescue Unit here, dearest Rocky! The Professor could be anywhere! This is like a maze inside a dungeon inside King Frost's old, old Ice Palace inside an-"
"I get the Elfin picture, sweet Lotta."
"I'm glad that one of us does! Professor Lissibertie? Professor? Professor Lissibertie!" Lotta yelled at a volume that sent little showers of dust raining down from the rafters. "Can you hear us? This is Epilotta Elf and Rockabye Elf and we're here to help you!" - Deep breath - "Actually, this is a teeny-tiny-itty-bitty bit embarrassing to admit 'cos we're supposed to be Santa's A-Team Elves, but we seem to have gotten lost…" - Deep breath - "Well, that's not exactly true because we know exactly where we are, but we don't know where you are, and since we're here to help you, you might say we have gotten lost… uh… Professor?"
'I'm here! I'm stuck!'
"Oh, Sugar-plum-mush!" Lotta croaked and promptly pulled down her golden-bobbled Elf hat so the rim covered her eyes.
'Just go straight ahead… straight ahead!'
As the professor spoke, Rocky held her Elfin hand up to her ear to pinpoint the exact location where they should search - a broad grin spread over her Elfin features when the attempt proved successful. "I think I have her… this way, sweet Lotta!"
"I'm right behind you, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said as she zipped along after her friend.
---
Another five aisles further into the vast, confusing maze, the Elves zipped around a corner and came to identical, screeching halts. "Ohhhhhh, Professor Lissibertie!" Lotta said as her Elfin eyes spotted a lady-Elf down on the floor under a wooden desk. "Don't you worry… we're here to help you!" she continued while she flew ahead to grab hold of the inventor's arms.
Lissibertie Elf was a lady-Elf in her prime - i.e. her mid-six hundreds - who wore an outfit not too dissimilar to Rocky and Lotta's schmutting gear: a dark-blue coverall that was far more practical for her line of work than a skirt or dress would be. A floppy-cone Elf hat sat atop her locks, and she wore a black ascot around her neck to show she was an Elf elder. Two pairs of spectacles graced her nose and her forehead, respectively. Her complexion was flushed at present, but her reddish hair and greenish eyes made it obvious she was a rosy-cheeked, milky-hued Norse-Elf whenever she didn't spend time down on the dusty floor of her own office.
The chair she had been sitting on had broken in two, and the lower part of the stub had managed to snare in the belt at the back of her outfit - in short, she was pinned down.
Rocky and Lotta were soon at Lissibertie Elf's side. The task list they had to follow was a short one for a change: all they needed to do was to get the professor back on her Elfin feet. "Professor," Rocky said, "hold on, we'll pull you free in an Elfin zippy."
"All right… not too zippy, please. I'm an old, old Elf," Lissibertie said and took hold of Lotta's offered hand.
"We'll be careful," Rocky said and rolled up her sleeves. "And a one… and a two… and a heave-Elf! Ugggghhhh… no. Cotton-candy, we need to try again. Lotta?"
"I'm ready, dearest Rocky!"
Nodding, Rocky crouched down to have better leverage to pull the stuck professor upright. "On three. And a one… and a two… and a heave-Elf… ohhhh… Lotta, I said on three!"
"I know you did, but you never said three…"
"Oh… I guess I didn't," Rocky said and snickered into her hand. "All right. Third time's the Elf. On three. Ready?"
Down on the floor, Lissibertie let out a chuckle and a mumbled. "Well, I am… I was ready five Elfin minutes ago…"
"And a one…" Rocky continued, "and a two… and a three… heeeeeeeeave-Elf!" The tough long-haul sleigh driver put her back and thigh muscles into the task, but no matter how hard she pulled, she couldn't get anything accomplished. "Ugggggh! Unnnnnggggggghhhh! No… oh, sugar plum mush! What in Santa's Suspenders is going on here?"
Lotta scratched her Elfin scalp thoroughly as she tried to figure out why they were unable to move the professor as much as an Elfin inch. She peeked high and peeked low and peeked everywhere she possibly could, but there was no sight of any kind of ticklemonster until her Elfin eyes fell on the very item that had tripped them up - as usual, it was the tiniest thing imaginable.
"Oh! I see it! Professor, your belt has snagged on the chair's, uh… stump! As soon as we've released the latch, you're free!" Lotta said and tried to reach around Lissibertie to carry out the task.
Down on the dusty floor, Lissibertie Elf let out a long groan as she glanced down at her Elfin tummy. "Ohhhhhh… is that all? How embarrassing… I should have figured that out a long time ago." With no hassle whatsoever, the professor reached down to loosen her belt.
Lotta waited for the pressure to come off the belt over on the other side of the professor. Once it had, she pulled the loose belt through the loops and past the stub on the broken chair. "There! All done!" she said with an Elfin grin. "Looks like the chair just broke in half… but it is an old one," she continued as she pushed away the sorry remains while Rocky helped Lissibertie Elf to her feet.
"Yes, it's been here since the toy factory was built," the professor said once she was back upright. She dusted off her Elfin hands and clothes before she swapped the spectacles so she could actually see her helpers. "Oh! There you are! Greetings… I'm Lissibertie Elf, but I guess you knew that already," she continued and put out her hand for the traditional clasping.
"We did, yes!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand before it was busy with the arm-clasping. "Greetings! I'm Epilotta Elf and this is my dearest, dearest friend and life-partner Rockabye Elf."
Rocky nodded at the professor as they clasped arms.
Lissibertie Elf looked down at the remains of her chair, scratching her neck as she did so. "Now I don't have anything to sit on… never mind. I'll figure something out. I'm an inventor, after all. Anyway, my dear Elves… I'm glad you were around, but what brings you here? I can count the number of times I've had visitors on two hands and still have enough Elfin fingers to spare to eat a bowl of rice pudding. And that's over the past two decades!"
"Well," Rocky said with a somber expression on her Elfin face, "we're looking for the important prototype model for the Talking Santa toy. It's missing."
"Missing? It's not missing, it's right there," Lissibertie Elf said and pointed at the desk - the important model sat proudly atop a pile of notes, drawings and sketches of this, that, and everything else an Elf might need for the Season To Be Jolly and the grand Yuletide. Every other part of the desk was home to a myriad of blueprints; some were rolled up and some were rolled out, but all in all, the desk was a mess.
"Ohhhhhhh! Look!" Lotta cried as she clapped her Elfin eyes on the Talking Santa. Such a strong sense of relief flowed through her that she needed to let out a joyous Elfin Whoop-Whoooooop! to celebrate.
Lissibertie Elf picked it up and pulled the little cord to make Mini Santa say the first of three sentences: "Ho-ho-ho!" Another pull produced a "Merry Yuletide, everybody! Merry Yuletide!"
"That's Santa, all right," Rocky said with a grin.
Lissibertie nodded as she put down the prototype. "It is indeed, Miss Rockabye. He recorded it himself. It's not an impersonator. Once we reach December, I'll sign off on the project and send it further along the system. We're still on course for a mid-December launch," she said and swapped her glasses again so she had a better view of the many items on her desk.
Lotta's joyous giggling came to an abrupt halt; her Elfin eyes popped wide open and so did her Elfin jaw - the latter was closed first so she could say: "But Professor Lissibertie… today is the eleventh of December! The big presentation of the Talking Santa toy is supposed to take place right now! The Season To Be Jolly is only ten days away!"
Lissibertie came to a halt that was no less abrupt than Lotta's had been. She bared her Elfin teeth in a wide grimace; a moment later, her Elfin cheeks were engulfed in a sea of red. "Ooops… I guess I must have forgotten to update my daily calendar…" she said in a croak.
Rocky and Lotta both zoomed in on an old-fashioned flip-over calendar that was still displaying Nov. 27th. "That's a fair guess, Professor Lissibertie… it hasn't been updated in two weeks, to be exact…" Rocky said and scratched her neck.
"Ohhhh… that's what happens when you love your work!" Lissibertie said and smacked an Elfin fist into an open palm. "All right… no panic. I'm too old to panic," she continued as she swapped her glasses again to see better.
Lotta's eyes still hadn't fully recovered from the record width they had been at. She let out a mumbled "I'm not," that earned her an affirmative squeeze on the shoulder by Rocky.
The long-haul sleigh driver had seen it all twice over - and then some - so she had soon whipped up a plan that was as simple as it was effective: "Well, Professor Lissibertie, perhaps you should sign off on the Talking Santa toy now so we can get it onto the assembly lines and into the shops…"
Lissibertie broke out in a nod. Moments later, she began to pat down the pockets of her outfit. "That's a good idea, Miss Rockabye. I'll do that right away. Say… has any-Elf seen my spectacles?"
"Ah, Professor… you're already wearing them," Rocky said and touched her own nose to show where the glasses sat.
Lissibertie crossed her eyes to look through the lenses of the frame perched on her nose. "No, these are for working. I need my writing glasses so I can see where I need to doodle my name."
Lotta and Rocky shared a brief, but telling, look before Rocky went over to the professor and gently removed the pair that sat on her forehead. "I do believe it must be these, Professor Lissibertie," she said as she put the upper pair into the professor's hands.
"Ah! Indeed it is! Thank you, Miss Rockabye," Lissibertie said with an Elfin smile. A moment later, the smile turned into a thoughtful frown. "Now… where did I put my quill and my ink well?"
Hearing that, Lotta's expression went from elation to shock to a facepalm in two Elfin-seconds flat.
Rocky snickered into her hand before she moved over to the desk to help the absentminded professor find her writing utensils.
-*-*-*-
Half an Elfin hour later in the vast, underground assembly hall of Toy Factory Three, a huge, positive buzz rippled through all the labor-Elves who had lined up next to the sixteen conveyor belts - all the yakking Elves created enough of an excited hubbub to resemble a hail storm that tapped a frantic beat on the rafter-roof of a woodshed.
The assembly lines were inactive for a change, but it wouldn't be long before the Talking Santas and all the other toys that were destined to find their way onto the shelves of the world's toy stores would begin to flow along. Many of the labor-Elves already had their wrenches, screwdrivers, pincers and tubes of glue ready for when the command would be given to start working.
The command would come after the big event where Santa's elite A-Team Elves and Professor Lissibertie Elf would press the legendary Green Button. The pressing of the button would signal the start of the hugely busy period up until the glorious Yuletide where hundreds of labor-Elves would work around the clock in three or perhaps even four shifts to keep up with the flow of toys.
From the assembly lines, the toys would be collected on large carts or in smaller, portable crates depending on their size, shape and how fragile they were; other labor-Elves would push the containers into the cargo elevators and up to the loading bays where the toys were distributed among the waiting sleighs - and then the hearty long-haul sleigh drivers and their hairy beasts of burden would transport the toys around the world to put smiles on children's faces everywhere they could.
Every-Elf held their collective breaths while their Elfin eyes were directed at Epilotta Elf, Rockabye Elf and Professor Lissibertie Elf who stood on a small bridge that had been put across Assembly Line No.1 to mark the big event. The large, green master switch that would set everything in motion was ready to be pushed; it had even been polished to fit the celebration.
"Is every-Elf ready?" Lotta cried while she looked over the crowd of coverall-clad Elves in all shapes, sizes and colors.
The inevitable cheeky-Elf among the workers obviously had to let out an 'No! Woombaloomba Elf isn't here yet!' that caused much laughter, groaning and embarrassed side-to-side shuffling among his impatient colleagues.
Lotta didn't want to ruin the moment for any-Elf, cheeky joker or not, so she waited for another few Elfin seconds before she drew a deep breath and turned to look at Rocky and the professor. "Five! Four! Three! Two! Oooooooooone!" all three Elves said as one before they moved their Elfin hands to press the green button labeled Activate!
A huge cheer rose from the labor-Elves at the call - many of whom even threw their Elf hats high in the air. Most were caught upon landing, but a few landed on the floor which caused much embarrassment for the thrower and good-natured ribbing from his or her colleagues.
Once the activation-button had been locked in place, the assembly line reserved for the brand new Talking Santa toy sprang to life with a comforting rumble that spelled much joy for those who believed in Santa. Soon, all sixteen assembly lines started rolling which caused another loud cheer to rise from the labor-Elves.
It wasn't long before all the elements needed to create the new Talking Santas as well as all the old Yuletide favorites like rag dolls, building blocks, model kits, wooden 3D puzzles, squeaky toys for toddlers, little cars, rubber duckies, ships and boats that would float, table-top games, card games and the oldest chestnut of them all, bouncy balls of every size and for every purpose.
All those wonderful toys and many, many more appeared underneath the sixteen Super-Secret Gift-Making-Machine-things. As the conveyor belts brought the elements ahead and into the Elfin hands of the waiting labor-Elves, yet another cheer rose as the crews set off assembling the toys that every-Elf in the Elfin Realm hoped would light up a child's - or an adult's - eyes on Yuletide Eve or Yuletide Morn depending on where in the world it would end up.
"Ohhhhhhh! Wouldya look at that! Isn't that so plum neat, dearest Rocky?" Lotta said and wiped away a few tears of Elfin joy that had formed at the corners of her Elfin eyes.
The Super-Secret Gift-Making-Machine, the conveyor belts and the labor-Elves made so much racket that Rocky needed to lean down to Lotta's pointy ear to reply: "Very much so. And here's a little something for you, sweet Lotta." - A kiss on the rosy cheek duly followed.
Lotta snickered and stood up on tip-toes to return the favor at once. "Thank you, dearest Rocky… here's one for you, too… mmmmmua!"
Professor Lissibertie let out an "Awwwww!" at the loving exchange between the two A-Team Elves. Once all the kissing-stuff had been accomplished - and the Elves involved in said kissing-stuff smiled from pointy ear to pointy ear - she put her arm out to clasp their arms. "It was certainly interesting to get out of my office for a change… thank you, dear Elves. Yes, being out in the wild, so to speak, has given me so, so, so, SO many wonn-derful new ideas that I need to go back at once to draw them up. Thank you, Epilotta Elf… and thank you, Rockabye Elf."
"You're welcome, Professor Lissibertie," Rocky said as she clasped arms with the Elf elder.
Lotta waited patiently for her turn; when it came, she not only clasped arms with the brilliant inventor but pulled her into an Elfin-good hug. "Thank you! If it wasn't for your great, big, Elfin-good work, Santa's gift bags would be empty… and no Elf on the Great Elf's green-and-blue-and-white world would want that!"
"Oh, thank you, Miss Epilotta… well, I do my part," Lissibertie said and shuffled side-to-side in a rare outburst of embarrassment. "I love my job which is even better! I wish you Fair Wind to where you'll be going from here. Goodbye, dear Elves!" After waving at the A-Team and some of the labor-Elves below, she stepped off the bridge and made her way back to her office.
Lotta and Rocky exchanged a brief glance before they followed the professor off the temporary bridge that spanned Assembly Line No.1. On it, the Talking Santas continued to come out of the Super-Secret Gift-Making-Machine which meant that everything was going well.
They waved goodbye to all the labor-Elves before they strolled toward the nearest corridor that would take them back to the hangar - Lotta soon hooked her arm inside Rocky's. "I guess we can fly home now. Do you think there's enough room on your sleigh for allllllllll the cookie tins they gave me? Don't forget all those we got down south at Toy Factory One… oooooh! Maybe we could stop for a little bite to eat someplace? I suddenly have a really large, gnawing ticklemonster inside me that asks for peppernuts, vanilla rings and maybe another bowl of those wonn-derful pureed figs!"
"I want a bowl of that, too… we already have all those other things on the sleigh but we'll manage to find room for the new stuff as well," Rocky said with a grin. Wrapping her arm around Lotta's shoulder, she and the petite - but energetic - lady-Elf walked over to a pair of double-doors that led to a hallway.
They stayed for an Elfin minute or two to look at the fast and effective work on display, but soon withdrew to find the pushcart Lotta had stored all their new cookie tins on.
After a brief visit to the mess hall so Rocky could get her figgy dessert, they flew home to Elf Springs and Seventeen Chestnut Street for some fresh cookies, well-buttered raisin buns, hot cocoa with oodles of whipped cream, a little bit of song and dance, and last but certainly not least, plenty of sweet Elfin huggin', kissin' and lovin' in front of the crackling fireplace…
*
*
THE END