Contact: norsebarddk@gmail.com
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
DISCLAIMERS:
This humorous Yuletide romance belongs in the Uber category. All characters are created by me, though they may remind you of someone.
This story depicts a loving relationship between consenting adult Elves of the female kind. If such a story frightens you, you better click on the X in the top-right corner and find something else to read.
This story contains some humorous profanity. Readers who are easily offended by bad language may wish to read something other than this story.
All characters depicted, names used, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious. No identification with actual Yuletide Elves is intended nor should be inferred. Any resemblance of the characters portrayed to actual Yuletide Elves, living or dead is purely coincidental.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
NOTES FROM THE AUTHOR:
Written: October 12th - November 17th, 2016.
As usual, I'd like to say a great, big THANK YOU to my mates at AUSXIP Talking Xena, especially to the gals and guys in Subtext Central. I really appreciate your support - Thanks, everybody! :D
1: The Yodeling Yuletree
2: Little Red Runabout
3: An Elf's Most Solemn Task
4: Lotta Takes The Reins
5: Yuletide Bells Are Ring-ing
Description: Rockabye and Epilotta, Santa's A-Team Elves, return once more with further Elfin good adventures: A mission to Austria to get a Yuletree for Santa's party on Little Yuletide Eve goes awry when they not only pick up a stowaway, but get lost somewhere in the Alps. Later in the Season to be Jolly, they go on a gift-dropping run to a care relief home for troubled children, but the easy-peasy mission turns into a real tickle-monster when they encounter plenty of Humans and, worse, dogs; and finally, Epilotta's big Yuletide-bash is celebrated in traditional Elfin style with rice pudding, sweet white ale, singing, dancing, and presents for all her loved ones - one of which has an important question to ask… In short, there's action-adventure, humor and romance for the whole Elfin family.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
1: " The Yodeling Yuletree"
*
*
CHAPTER 1
The late afternoon of December Tenth possessed all the elements so dear to the Elfin population of Greenland and elsewhere: Not only was the air wonderfully cool, crisp and nippy-nosey, the setting sun created a glorious spectacle as it cast its final rays of the day upon the clouds in the sky as well as the sweeping landscape far below. The many snow-covered hills and dales were caressed by the golden shine that formed lengthening shadows on the sides pointing away from the orange ball that crept toward the western horizon.
Polar bears and stray arctic foxes roamed freely among the shadows, no doubt eager to get home to their caves or holes before the arctic night would fall and send the big freeze over every living thing. Here and there, lanterns would sway gently showing where Elves waded through the snow that had turned five foot deep in places after the recent snowfalls.
In the sky, flocks of geese and other fowls had concluded their business for the day and were homeward bound. Most species flew in perfect formations to adhere to the airborne traffic code, but geese were prone to forgetting the rules and regulations if the yakking was good, so several flocks traveled in unruly heaps.
The serenity of the moment was disturbed somewhat by faint, distant singing that seemed to originate somewhere high above the surface of Greenland. Some of the geese meant to control the flocks soon spotted an Elfin sleigh that zipped through the air toward them, but the topic of discussion was so engrossing that their attention returned to their companions before long.
Soon, the sleigh - which was pulled by two strong reindeer - entered the occupied airspace going far below the preferred cruising altitude of twelve-hundred feet. This put them on a direct collision course with a large heap of geese that didn't follow any plan whatsoever, except they were all in the air at the same time, and sharing more or less the same space.
A joyful rendition of " 'Tis the Season to be Jolly, la-la-la-la-laaaaaa-la-la- la-la!" was soon cut off by a cry of "Watch out! Geese!" and then a growled "Santa's Suspenders! Buncha featherbrains!" before the sleigh dove under the absentminded fowls and continued on toward a vast, gray structure in the middle distance.
Leveling out, the sleigh was revealed to be a classic design kept primarily in crimson and forest-green. The intricately designed runners were made of stainless steel, and colorful, elaborate Elfin carvings covered every last piece of available surface apart from the flatbed itself and the little sign that said Rocky's Parcel Delivery Service.
Two Elves sat on the sleigh's fur-covered bench seat, and both were looking over their shoulder at the flock of geese they had been forced to avoid. The driver, who fell out of the Elfin norm with her three-foot-three inch frame, black hair, blue eyes and bronzed skin - she was the result of a romantic tryst between a local lady-Elf and a dashing Southerner who had been working at the Central Administration as an exchange consultant - once again slapped the reins which made the two beasts of burden up front bray and get down to business.
After adjusting her dark-green double-breasted jacket and her red ascot that had been knocked askew by her frantic actions, Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf reached up to her red, rigid-cone Elf hat to scratch her hair. "One of these days… corn-on-a-cob, one of these days, Lotta, we'll spiral out of control in a storm of plucked feathers and cackling geese," she mumbled, shooting another dark glare at the flock of errant geese that disappeared into the growing dusk behind them.
Rocky's snow goggles were tied to the rail on the buckboard ahead of her, but she pulled them back inside the sleigh from the precarious position they had ended up in as a result of the emergency dive they had just completed.
"Yeah… brrr," the passenger said and broke out in a little shiver. At two-foot-nine, Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf was a perfect example of the looks most closely associated with the Elfin world: flaming red hair, sparkling green eyes and pinkish-pale skin that often sported a ruddy complexion because of a sudden bout of embarrassment - or excitement.
Sighing, Lotta turned around to look at where they were going. "At least I wasn't eating this time. Oh, remember that, Rocky? Remember when I lost my bun? I wonder if the bun was ever found… it was such a lovely bun. Oh, but never mind that now. Look, there's the Central Administration," she said, pointing to the vast structure looming on the horizon.
"Yep."
Rocky tightened the reins which made the big, strong Sammi-Sima and her companion, the young steed Gustaf who had only done a few flights in his career, slow down and perform a sweeping turn to the left. It didn't take the experienced lead reindeer long to get the sleigh lined up with the large entry doors in the front of the building housing the Central Administration.
The imposing, dark-gray behemoth of a building grew larger and ungainlier the closer they got to it, and the sights didn't improve a great deal when Sammi-Sima and Gustaf blasted through the opening and touched down on the landing strip inside the vast hangar.
Lotta craned her neck to look at the bleak, bare walls and the drab stone pillars holding up the roof as the sleigh rumbled along the runway. As always, she shook her head in despair. "Oh, why can't they put up just one garland…?" she mumbled as Rocky let Sammi-Sima get free reins to pull the sleigh over to the parking area at the far wall. "Just one itty-bitty Yuletide decoration… just one! 'Tis almost the Season to be Jolly! I don't understand why everything has to be so… ugh… depressing. And at Santa's main site, no less!"
Once the sleigh had been brought to a halt, the usual circus of minder-Elves, feeder-Elves, groomer-Elves and pooper-scooper-Elves came over to tend to the two reindeer. With Sammi-Sima and Gustaf being in so good hands, Rocky stood up and shook her tush to make it come alive after the long flight from Elf Springs. "That's true, but at least there's plenty of the good stuff downstairs in the hallway leading to Santa's office," she said, adjusting her long-haul sleigh driver's outfit which consisted of black ankle boots, insulated, dark-green, puffy-legged pants held in place by a black leather belt and finally her favorite double-breasted jacket in a similar color to the pants.
"Yes, and thank the Great Elf for that!" Lotta said and jumped off the sleigh. Like all other gift-dropper-Elves working for Santa, she wore a dark-blue schmutting outfit consisting of a double-breasted jacket, wraparound pants and sturdy boots. The green ascot she wore around her neck proved she was still a Novice, and she would remain in that category for another twenty Elfin years - two Human years - then she would go into the next bracket which would give her a yellow ascot.
Shuffling around next to the sleigh, she looked across at her dear friend Rocky and scrunched up her face. "Ummm…" she said, rubbing the side of her nose.
"Yes," Rocky said and let out a sigh. "There's time for you to have a well-buttered raisin bun. Santa only asked us to swing by, he didn't give us a specific time we should be here…"
"Oh, that's the best news I've heard for the past five minutes," Lotta said and pulled the seat of the fur-covered bench up into the upper stop. It didn't take her skilled hands long to dig into the bag she had bought at the bakery down on Beechwood Drive that had now become her favorite haunt, nor to find a pair of halved buns that she quickly slapped some butter on from their earthenware churn. Grinning in anticipation, she stuffed the two halves together so they were butter-on-butter. "You want a bite, Rocky…?"
"No thanks, sweet Lotta. I'm good."
"How is that possible? You haven't eaten since we left Elf Springs!"
Rocky declined to answer apart from a snicker that came unprompted from watching Lotta stuffing the two buns into her yap and chewing on them merrily. Reaching into the storage area under the bench seat, she found her red Santa's A-Team hat and put it on with plenty of pride. The golden bobble at the end of the floppy cone was carefully arranged over her right shoulder, and she finished off the little ritual by sweeping her black hair up under the hem of the priceless headwear.
-*-*-*-
Santa's familiar, rumbling laugh could still be heard in the background as Rocky stepped into the anteroom outside the office belonging to the fabled Yuleman . Santa's secretary Yuttan Elf was busy at the duplicator, but she had time to offer a little smile to one of the members of the highly respected A-Team.
Rocky smiled back but soon turned her attention to the envelope Santa had given her. Like always, her own and Epilotta Elf's full names had been hand-printed on high-quality parchment in a golden script, and it was almost too gorgeous to tear open. She needed to read their orders, however, so she inserted a fingernail along the edge of the envelope and tore at it carefully.
While Lotta remained in the doorway to bow numerous times to Santa, Rocky pulled out the piece of parchment and began to study the words written on it in a calligraphic hand. "Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, oh… hmmm, hmmm… that's a pretty long haul with a heavy load. And we need to fly above a mountain range," she said and puckered up her lips to perform a low whistle.
Lotta finally closed the door to Santa's office and stepped into the anteroom. Her face was flushed and she had a happy grin etched onto her lips. Whipping off her priceless A-Team hat, she used the floppy garment with the golden bobble as a fan to get some air to her flushed skin. "No matter how often we meet Mr. Santa, it's such a magical event… don't you think, Rocky?"
"Mmmm? Oh, yeah," Rocky said, looking up from the assignment details they had been given. "Magical, that's a good cue."
"It is?"
Rocky cocked her head and shot her younger companion a puzzled gaze. "Uh… yeah. Didn't you listen to what Santa just told us?"
"Oh, I did! I did."
"So what are we supposed to do, then?"
"Uh…" Lotta said, shimmying back and forth. Her facial color gained a new shade of red that she needed to fan away with her hat. "Oh, Santa shouldn't have distracted me with Mrs. Santa's award-winning crunchy cookies! That was really unfair 'cos everybody knows that when an Elf is faced with a plate full of cookies, the cookies will win every time…"
Snickering, Rocky pulled Lotta into a sideways hug. "Good thing we have our orders on print, huh? Tomorrow morning, we're going to the Magical Calshiweah Forest to find a Yuletree… then, we're to fly it all the way down to Tyrol far, far south of here. Once there, we'll get a pine tree that we're to fly all the way back to the Norselands so Santa can decorate and light it on Little Yuletide Eve. It's going to be like an exchange of gifts, only with Yuletrees."
"Ohhhh! Well, if you already knew, why did you ask?" Lotta said with a cheeky grin gracing her features. She didn't have it in her to be cheeky for any length of time, especially not to Rocky, so she broke out in an embarrassed snicker instead and ducked her head down between her shoulders.
Rocky loved the red-headed Elf too much to get annoyed with her, so she just pulled her close and delivered a little kiss on the flushed forehead. "Well, in any case, we'll need to pack some warm clothes-"
"And food. Plenty of food."
"Well, sure. But warm clothes since we'll need to fly above the Alps-"
"And a couple of thermos' of hot Yule-tea complete with cloves and almonds and raisins and cinnamon."
"Yes, all right, but defin-"
"And perhaps a few chocolate frogs… you know, those super-duper-yummy-neat ones that have a creamy caramel center- oh, I know! Kringle-bread with caraway seeds!"
"Yeah, okay, but-"
"And gingerbread, of course. I know how much you love gingerbread."
"Lotta, warm clothes are more import-"
"Then we'll need one… no, two churns of butter as well. You know, healthy, nutritious food," Lotta said and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. When Rocky didn't reply, she looked up at the taller Elf who bore an unreadable expression on her bronzed face. "Ummm… what?"
"Nothing, sweet Lotta… nothing," Rocky said and broke out in a snicker. Sticking out her tongue, she pulled the younger Elf closer again as they left the anteroom to head back down to the sleigh.
-*-*-*-
At the crack of dawn the following morning - a quarter past nine to be exact - Rocky tugged on the reins to make the young, somewhat inexperienced Gustaf and the borrowed steed Wellokesso turn her custom-built sleigh onto Chestnut Street.
She had hoped to have the big, strong Sammi-Sima as lead puller for the heavy load, but when the reindeer's owner had forgotten to tell her that Sammi-Sima had an appointment at the veterinarian for its annual check-up before the Season to be Jolly really got underway, her plans had been scuppered.
Instead, she had called Canute Elf out at Toy Factory One to rent a new beast of burden ASAP - thus, she and Lotta would head out on a long haul with an animal she hadn't used before as the lead puller, and an inexperienced one as the second-in-hand. It wasn't an optimal situation, but she couldn't do anything about it.
Pulling over at the curb outside Lotta's Pine Cone Villa, Rocky couldn't help but snicker at the bazillion multi-colored Yule-lights that the petite Elf had used to completely wrap the two-storey house. The front door was graced by a laurel garland with a red bow tie, and there was a three-branched candlestick in every window save for the kitchen where Lotta needed a five-branched one to provide enough light when she worked on preparing the food.
The recent heavy snowfalls had set the perfect scene on Chestnut Street by draping everything in white, and Rocky smiled at the sight of the seven-strong snow-family standing proud on Lotta's front lawn. The smile broadened when she thought back to the fun time she and Lotta had had rolling the snow into the huge balls that made up the bodies of Cole Frost, his wife Icéla and their five little Frosties - not to mention the even better time later on when Lotta had made hot chocolate and crullers, and they had snuggled up by the open fireplace in the living room basking in each other's company.
Upstairs, the curtain fluttered aside in Lotta's bedroom and a small arm waved a greeting. Rocky waved back, but the curtain had already become still. The air was rosy-cheeky, but not too much, so she leaned back on the bench seat while she waited for Lotta to come down. She had brought a winter coat for when they would reach the mountainous areas further south, but it was in the storage area below the seat for the time being - it left her wearing a dark-gray Elfin hat with a floppy cone, and her regular long-haul outfit.
It didn't take long before the front door was flung open and Lotta's fair face peeked out. "Greetings, dearest Rocky!" she cried, waving a hand that was well-protected by a bright-blue mitten. The rest of her being was covered in a three-quarter length Yuletide-red parka coat with a furlined hood that she hadn't pulled up yet.
Rocky chuckled at the sight. "At least she listened to me about the warm clothes… greetings, sweet Lotta!" she said, waving back.
When nothing further happened, Rocky sat up straight and scratched her brow. Moments later, Lotta came back into view and waved the sleigh driver over to her. "Huh… okay," Rocky said and jumped off the sleigh.
The deep snow on Lotta's garden path was no match for Rocky's sturdy winter boots, so she was quickly at the front door. A mistletoe hanging from the door's upper jamb greeted her, and she snickered into her hand when the Krone dropped. Leaning down, she puckered up her lips and waited for the cute, little Elf to come back and establish some sweet contact.
It never happened. From the kitchen, Lotta's puzzled voice cut into the serene moment: 'Rocky? Where did you go?'
"Where did I go? Where did you go?" Rocky said and shuffled into the kitchen. She only made it as far as the doorstep. Scrunching up her face, she stared wide-eyed at the four wooden boxes that had been put on the kitchen floor - each box reached up to Lotta's hips. "What in the cotton-candy Elfin world are those, Lotta?" she said, slowly taking off her floppy Elf hat so she could scratch her hair.
"Food!" Lotta said with a beaming grin on her lips. "Rocky? Rocky? Rocky, you need to blink so your eyes won't- Rocky?" she continued, shuffling over to her dearest friend to see if the odd, frozen grimace on the older Elf's face had become permanent. When even taking off her mitten and waving her hand in Rocky's face didn't provoke a response, she stood up on tip-toes and placed a little kiss on the twisted lips instead.
"Corn-on-a-cob…" Rocky finally croaked.
Lotta snickered into her hand and shuffled back to the four boxes. "I think you misunderstood me, Rocky… this is our food for the entire Season to be Jolly."
"Oh… thank the Great Elf…"
Snickering again, Lotta stuck out her tongue as she caressed the lid of the nearest wooden box. "All the good stuff for all the good Elves. Five different kinds of cookie dough… ready-made raisin and cinnamon buns that just need to be put in the oven… churns of pure and spiced butter… batches of apples and pears… a bag of clementines… blocks of chocolate for cooking and eating, mostly straight-up dark chocolate, but also hazelnut chip and the hottest thing on the market this year… peppermint! Oooh, I can't wait to taste that! And sacks of almonds and raisins… you know, for the mulled wine and the Yule-tea? They came earlier this morning by special delivery… I just wanted to ask if you would help me carry it down into the basement?"
"Oh… thank the Great Elf…"
"You said that already," Lotta said, once again sticking her tongue out at her dearest friend.
Rocky grinned back and began to roll up her sleeves. "Let's get to it… we've got a long day ahead of us. So you haven't packed any food at all for today, then?" she said as she crouched down to get a firm grip on the first box.
"Sure I did! There's another pair of boxes in the living room!" Lotta said and clapped her petite hands in glee before she made a little pirouette on the kitchen floor.
"Oh, Lotta…" Rocky groaned, thumping her forehead against the side of the box.
-*-*-*-
Wellokesso and Gustaf worked well together as the custom sleigh cruised along at an altitude of twelve-hundred feet. It had taken the two reindeer a few leagues from the starting point in Elf Springs to find a rhythm that worked for both of them, but once they had it, they trotted through the skies in perfect synchronicity.
Rocky took full advantage of the time the reindeers' easy-going relationship had given her by admiring the view - not of the sweeping landscape below them, but of Lotta's fair face next to her. For once, the spirited redhead wasn't eating, she wasn't singing, she wasn't playing party games, and she wasn't nodding off. Instead, she was calm and seemingly at peace with herself and the Elfin world surrounding them.
The moment should have been broken when Lotta turned her head toward the driver, but the eye contact that was established between them only made it better. Smiling, Rocky reached out to pull her companion close to her on the bench seat.
Lotta was only happy to comply and snuggled up against Rocky's side. Though she had put the Yuletide-red parka into the storage area next to the food and the other winter coat, she had kept her bright-blue mittens on because she thought they looked funny. Moving down the right one, she placed it across the older Elf's thigh, but the thick fabric prevented her from clawing the strong leg.
Far below them, the vast, wooded region north of Elf Springs stretched out to the horizon. Unlike the last time they had flown past it - on their mission to Peary Land with the birthday layer cake for Snoozaby Snorri Elf - they were able to enjoy the grand spectacle of the impossibly tall, near-ancient pines, and how the sun caressed the recent snow and painted everything in shades of white and bluish-green.
"I always become a mellow, little Elf whenever I'm near the Magical Calshiweah Forest," Lotta breathed. When her stoic sweetheart replied by nodding, she snuggled up even further and closed her eyes to take in the driver's presence and natural scent.
After a little while, Rocky leaned down to kiss the red hair next to Lotta's rigid-cone Elf hat. "Sweet Lotta, I need my right arm now. Won't be long before we're coming in to land."
"Oh, already?" Lotta said and sat up straight. She scooted a little to the side so Rocky could control the reins, but she didn't stray too far. Looking above the buckboard ahead of them, she could see a landing strip in the middle distance.
The strip was really only a short, flat stretch in the middle of a natural clearing, but its outer edges were marked by two, long lines of unlit torches signaling that it was an official landing site set up by the Elf-Department of Foresting. The heavy snowfalls that had turned the pine trees white had also dumped a load of the bright stuff onto the strip, but since Rocky always made sure to keep the custom sleigh's top-quality stainless steel runners well-greased, it shouldn't pose a problem for them.
"Hmmm, that might be a tickle-monster of a take-off once we're fully loaded," Rocky said to no-one in particular as the two reindeer brought the sleigh down to make a sweeping pass of the landing strip.
Looking over the side, she tried to gauge if the runway was long enough for Wellokesso and Gustaf to gain enough speed for the all-important take-off. She scrunched up her face when her mental arithmetic proved it would be touch and go - and there was even a risk it would turn into 'touch and more touch' since the far edge of the runway ended directly in a cluster of tall pines.
"And a tickle-monster of a landing too," Lotta said in a matching tone of voice. "I thought I'd have plenty of time for some cookies before we landed… but we got here quicker than I had counted on."
"Huh… since when did it take you more than three point two-five Elfin-seconds to munch down a chocolate chip cookie or whatever you have in your bag, Lotta?"
"Well, that's true," Lotta said with a snicker, "but it's down in the storage area, and I don't want to disturb you when we're coming in to land."
"Awwww, that's sweet, Lotta. Thank you. Tell you what we're gonna do," Rocky said and tugged at the reins once Wellokesso had the sleigh lined up down the center line of the narrow strip. The experienced reindeer responded by braying and by going into a controlled descent. "Once we land, I'll let you have all the cookies you wish… and… I'll throw in a bite of my gingerbread as well."
The offer was a golden one, Lotta understood that at once, and she stared at her dear friend with a slack expression on her face. Though they shared their regular food on a daily basis, they both had a favorite dish that they were reluctant to share simply because they couldn't get enough of it. For Lotta, wildberry pies with a thick layer of whipped cream made her all possessive, and for Rocky, it was gingerbread - especially if they found some that was fresh so the honey was runny.
"Hang on, it may get bumpy," Rocky said and sat up straight on the fur-covered bench seat.
Lotta nodded grimly and reached out to hold onto the rail atop the buckboard right in front of her.
The runners touched down before the hooves did, so the landing itself was just as smooth as it invariably was whenever Rockabye Elf sat in the driver's seat. Wellokesso and Gustaf's hooves found little traction so slowing down proved difficult, and it didn't help that the runway was uneven and icy.
The sleigh began rocking and rolling as it traveled along the strip, so Rocky needed to tug the reins harder than usual to get the animals to slow down. Unfortunately, the inexperienced Gustaf over-interpreted the command and dug his hooves into the icy surface - the result was that he came to a four-hoof slide that threatened to upset the entire sleigh's balance.
Wellokesso brayed in surprise and annoyance at the stunt her new working mate had pulled, and she had to compensate for all she was worth by dragging everything to the left. If she didn't, the sleigh would skid clean off the runway on the right-hand side and crash into one of the deep, tall piles of snow that lined the narrow strip.
"Oooooooooh!" Lotta squealed, gripping the rail hard as the sleigh began to drift away from the center line and head for the banks of snow.
"Keep it straight… keep it straight!" Rocky said through clenched teeth. She guided Wellokesso to the left though the experienced beast of burden already tried all she could to go in that direction.
Realizing his error, Gustaf began to move his hooves again, and the pitiful braying he let out proved that he knew he had soiled the proverbial nest.
When the sleigh finally came to a halt at the far end of the runway, Rocky let out a long grumble that contained several instances of "Santa's Suspenders," a few "corn-on-a-cobs," and even a couple of questions about Gustaf's lineage before it came to an end with an emphatic "Sugar plum mush!"
Rocky continued to grumble for a little while as she slapped the reins to let the two reindeer know they should turn around and trundle back toward the loading area near the center of the landing strip.
The freezing temperatures soon rolled over them like a wet blanket, so she stood up to allow Lotta access to the storage area underneath the seat. "Lotta, would you mind fetching my winter coat now? It's somewhat nippy-nosey up here."
"I'll say!" Lotta said through clattering teeth. Though Elves were sturdy creatures, even they had a limit to their stamina, and Lotta's had just been reached. "I'll get the thermos of hot Yule-tea as well… by the Great Elf, this place is chill-ll-lly!"
"Yeah… it's the swirling wind, I think."
To underline their words, the breaths of the Elves and the reindeer escaped their lips as large plumes of steam that drifted away on the edge of the wind. Wellokesso and Gustaf brayed and were soon shimmying back and forth in their harnesses to keep warm.
Rummaging around in the storage area, Lotta soon found Rocky's coat that she put around her dearest friend's shoulders - Rocky would need to button it herself once she had both hands free. Her own Yuletide-red parka was donned and buttoned, and she pulled the strings for the furlined hood so tight she could hardly see anything. Lodging her fluffy, bright-blue mittens between her knees, she took the thermos and poured a steaming hot cup of tea into the lid. "Are you ready for a sip, Rocky?"
"Not quite yet," Rocky said, steering the two reindeer off the landing strip by going through a gap between two of the unlit torches.
"Then I'll have the first cup."
"Go ahead, sweet Lotta," Rocky continued, tugging the reins to make Wellokesso and Gustaf know they should head for a loading area that had been laid out halfway between the runway and the edge of the forest. "By the way, did you see my gloves down there?"
"Your gloves? No… no, I don't think so. Lift your tush again, please," Lotta said and went into the storage area to check for the missing items as soon as Rocky got to her feet. She was able to locate the other two thermos' of Yule-tea, the churns of butter, a few bags of cinnamon and raisin buns, the bag containing Rocky's gingerbread, and even the kringle-bread with caraway seeds, but no gloves. "Hmmm… no. Did we lose them somewhere along the way?"
Rocky sighed and looked skyward. "No. They're at home. On my dresser. I forgot 'em."
"Oh! Oh, you can have my mittens, Rocky… you need them more than I do. Uh… wait," Lotta said, trying to reach for the colorful mittens that were still lodged between her knees. It was tough going since she was still holding the lid for the thermos, and with the container quite full, she couldn't put it down. She needed to do everything in sequence, so she gulped down the steaming hot Yule-tea, screwed the lid on the thermos, and reached for her mittens. "Here we go!"
"Thank you, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and took her hands off the reins to try the colorful items on for size - a size that proved to be too small for her hands. "Oh… corn-on-a-cob. They don't fit…"
"Oh… cotton-candy."
"My thoughts exactly."
As Lotta got her bright-blue mittens back, she put them on and began to rub her fair brow. "So… uh… do we have time to go home to get them?"
"No," Rocky said, pointing at a group of lumberjack-Elves who appeared at the edge of the forest. The leader of the lumberjacks - a tough-looking Elf in a dark-gray outfit, and with a long, white beard - waved at the two lady-Elves on the sleigh, and Rocky and Lotta duly waved back like any polite Elf would.
When the lumberjacks reached the sleigh, the leader of the rough'n'ready Elves stepped up to Rocky and put out his arm for the traditional Elfin arm-clasping. "Greetings, Miss Elf. Hiya. I'm Ingolffe Elf and these strappin' fellas here are my 'jacks," he said in a rumbling voice.
"Greetings, Ingolffe Elf," Rocky said and clasped arms with the strong lumberjack. "I'm Rockabye Elf, and this is my dear friend Epilotta Elf. We're here to pick up a Yuletree that's scheduled to go on a long haul south. Is it ready for us?" she continued, reaching into her pocket to find their orders.
Ingolffe nodded, then shook his head - the gestures made Lotta furrow her brow in confusion. "Yep to the first part, naw to the second, Rockabye. The Yuletree has been marked out for felling, but it's still attached to its roots to keep it fresh for as long as possible."
"Oh," Rocky said and lowered the envelope with their orders. She looked at Lotta and offered the gift-dropper a little shrug. "So… where is it?"
"Not far, only three hundred paces in that direction," Ingolffe Elf said and turned around so he could point into the deep, white section of the Calshiweah Forest they had landed next to.
Nodding, Rocky stuffed their orders into a pocket of her winter coat and jumped off the sleigh. The snow came to her hips, but she was a tough Elf so she didn't mind. She did see, however, that the shorter Epilotta would most likely disappear without a trace in the deep layers of white so they would need to have a change of plans. "Lotta, you better stay at the sleigh. The snow's just too deep for you. If there's any trouble, just use the jingle-stick… it's down in the storage area."
"Oh… works for me, Rocky," Lotta said, already planning ahead to the grand feast she was about to have. With Rocky away, there wouldn't be anyone there to admonish her about eating three or even four well-buttered raisin buns while slurping plenty of the steaming hot Yule-tea. A small smile spread out over her lips, and she performed a little shimmy on the fur-covered bench seat to show her excitement.
"Or," Ingolffe Elf said, putting his hand on the sleigh's buckboard, "you could visit the Sacred Pine Tree. It's just beyond the clearing we're in, and a path has been cleared of snow all the way over to it. I know 'cos I did it myself earlier this morning."
Hearing that, Lotta whipped her head around, and she was powerless to stop a squeal from escaping her lips as well. "Oh!" she cried, jumping to her feet. "Oh! The Sacred Pine Tree? Oh, dearest Rocky, I've always, always, always, always wanted to see that…"
"Well, now's your chan-"
"Ever since I was an itty-bitty-little Elf, I've heard so many stories about the Sacred Pine Tree, but I've never actually made it all the way up here…"
"Like Ingolffe Elf said, you can-"
"Mostly because I don't have a sleigh on my own, but it's really, really chilly up here, and I-"
"Lotta," Rocky said in an emphatic voice that made her excitable companion pipe down. "Off you go," she continued in her regular dulcet tones. She added a warm smile to show that she wasn't envious at all.
In oh-point-five of a second, Lotta hopped off the sleigh and went in the direction that Ingolffe Elf had pointed in. She would need to cross the runway, so she came to a full stop and looked both ways just to make sure a sleigh wasn't coming in to land. Once she had crossed the landing strip, she turned around and jumped in the air while she waved at Rocky. "Bye for now, dearest Rocky! I'll put in a good word for you to the Sacred Pine Tree and the Great Elf!"
Grinning, Rocky waved back before she left with the tough lumberjacks.
-*-*-*-
Lotta shuffled through the snow that wasn't too deep on the far side of the runway. Leaving the clearing behind, she trekked through a short section of the Magical Calshiweah Forest until a cleared path became visible to her. The path snaked its way through the countless, tall pine trees that formed the wooded region of the Norselands, but it was mostly free of snow like the lumberjack-Elf had said, so she was able to pick up the pace.
When she went through a gentle turn on the path, the snow-covered shrubbery on each side gave way to a magnificent view of the Sacred Pine Tree that seemed to reach far into the heavens. Letting out an excited squeal - that turned into a plume of steam at once - she picked up the pace even further and zipped closer to the vast tree on her short legs.
Visiting the ancient Sacred Pine Tree was something every Elf needed to do at least once in their lifetime. The gnarled roots of the tall, proud tree formed the exact point of origin of all life in the Elfin world: the cradle at the foot of the Tree of Life in which the Great Elf herself took her first breath as the child of Mother Nature and Father Earth eons ago.
Lotta showed the proper respect to the holy place by folding back her furlined hood and bowing her bared head. Why she had never gone to the Sacred Pine Tree was beyond her; just being that close to the Tree of Life filled her with the life-forces of the countless generations that had gone before her.
Closing the distance between herself and the proud trunk, she knelt down and took off her mittens. One of the roots had been brushed clean of snow, and she reached out to put her petite hand on it like traditions dictated. "Great Elf, I'm your humble follower Epilotta Elf. I've been a bad, bad little Elf… I've never been here before, oh Great Elf, and for that I seek forgiveness. I'm grateful for all the good fortune you've allowed me to have. And especially for… for bringing Rockabye Elf into my life. I truly love her with all of my heart, and she loves me too. For that I'm grateful, oh Great Elf. Thank you."
Lotta closed her eyes and mouthed a silent prayer to the Great Elf that she and Rocky would be allowed a full lifetime together. Shedding a little tear, she wiped her nose on the back of her hand as she got to her feet and shuffled away from the Sacred Pine Tree, moving backwards until she reached a certain line to respect the traditions.
Turning around, she was in the process of pulling her furlined hood back up when movement ahead of her made her draw a deep gasp and stagger back several steps. She found herself face to face with a white wolf that had come out of nowhere. Wolves and Elves weren't natural enemies as such, but a certain sense of apprehension washed over Lotta as the sleek, furry animal slithered closer to her. "Uh… greetings, mister wolf… or lady wolf… I can't quite tell without bothering you a bit too much," she squeaked and offered the animal a small wave. "Don't mind me, I was just leaving, ha ha."
Once the wolf had moved further into the Calshiweah Forest - shooting Lotta a puzzled look as it went past her - she legged it back to the sleigh in no time flat; her boots sent up little puffs of the creaking snow as she hurried back to safety and the well-buttered raisin buns waiting for her there.
-*-*-*-
Lotta had to wait a little while for Rocky and the lumberjack-Elves to return with the Yuletree they were to haul down south, but the period of inactivity in the chilly clearing hadn't bothered her since she had spent it engaged in not one, but two of her favorite pastimes, namely eating and singing Yuletide standards.
Noticing the group of Elves trundling towards the sleigh, Lotta gulped down the last bite of the Welch bread and licked her fingers clean of the yummy raspberry jam that always ended up everywhere but inside the pastry. "Hi, dearest Rocky!" she cried, waving at her friend.
While she did that with her right hand, she used her left to crumble up the empty bag from the bakery on Beechwood Drive. Though keeping secrets from her dearest friend - and much more, now - weighed worse than a tickle-monster on Lotta's conscience, Rocky wouldn't throw a fit over finding out that she had emptied an entire bag on her own if she didn't know anything about it.
The present situation prevented Rocky from waving back; in fact, she couldn't even grunt. The Yuletree that she and the lumberjack-Elves carried on their shoulders was so heavy and cumbersome she needed to conserve her strength for the important things in life, like breathing and walking.
The lumberjack-Elves had done it a thousand-and-one times before, so when they got close enough, they took over and placed the tree on the sleigh's flat bed with very little hassle. The custom sleigh creaked and groaned as the heavy load was put on the bed, but the stainless steel runners held up.
Getting to her feet, Lotta tried to help them guide the Yuletree over to one side so the top and the upper branches wouldn't stick out onto the fur-covered bench seat and thus prevent her from snuggling up to Rocky during the long flight, but Ingolffe Elf and his crew kept pushing the tree back to the center. "Look… ugh… no… you can't… please… to the side… why… ugh, no!" she said, fighting a losing game against the experienced lumberjack-Elves.
"Miss Epilotta," Ingolffe Elf said, wiping his damp brow, "the sleigh needs to be perfectly balanced or else you'll never get anywhere… and that means the tree will hafta point straight up the center."
"But… but… I protest!" Lotta squeaked, stomping her foot on the floor of the sleigh. "We can't have that big thing right there! It needs to be pushed to the side!"
Having finally caught her breath, Rocky stepped up into the sleigh on Lotta's side and gave the annoyed, little Elf a comforting squeeze. "Ingolffe's right, sweet Lotta. The tree needs to be in the center. We'll just have to be clever Elves."
"Oh… sugar plum mush," Lotta said in a dejected tone of voice. The profanity earned her a few laughs from the tough lumberjack-Elves who had never expected a fair, little Elf like Epilotta to use such language.
---
While the lumberjacks tied the tree to the custom sleigh using what seemed to be leagues of rope, Lotta and Rocky shared a cup of steaming hot Yule-tea. "And then I saw a wolf! A white one! It looked right at me and sort of gave me a funny stare before it wandered off," Lotta said, pointing at the path beyond the clearing.
"You should be careful around wolves, Lotta," Rocky said as she sipped from the tea. "They're related to dogs, after all. And we all know that those mutts only live to tear chunks out of us poor, defenseless Elves."
"Uh… yeah, but… uh… it wasn't like that at all…"
"Mmmm. Do we have any crullers left, or did you already eat them all?"
Lotta snickered into her hand before she opened the bench seat and dove into the storage area below it. "No, we still have a full tin left. Oh, they're so yummy! Have two, one's just not enough."
"For you, maybe," Rocky said with a chuckle as she dove into the cookie tin to find a good specimen of the greasy Yuletide treat that owed its trademark texture to being dipped in boiling lard.
"Ha, ha. Ingolffe, do you and your lumberjack-Elves want a cruller or two?" Lotta said and held up the tin at the leader of the tree-fellers.
Ingolffe Elf grinned and shuffled up to the front of the sleigh while his crew worked with the ropes. "Don't mind if I do, Miss Lotta," he said and took off his glove to find a few good ones for himself and his fellow Elves. "Now excuse me for eavesdroppin', but did you say you met a white wolf over by the Sacred Pine Tree?"
"That's right, I did," Lotta said as she put the lid on the tin.
No Elf anywhere in the world would speak while chewing, not even a lumberjack who was more than a little rough around the edges; thus, Ingolffe Elf waited for the delightful cruller to go down the proper pipe before he spoke up. "That's a good sign. It means the Great Elf has listened to what you said to her."
"Oh…"
Lotta suddenly grew thoughtful. She turned her head to give Rocky a loving look that was returned in kind. An urge to give the long-haul sleigh driver a kiss right then and there overwhelmed her, and she pulled the dark-haired Elf closer to do just that. "Let's hope she did," Lotta said once they separated.
Rocky wasn't sure what that had been all about, but she certainly didn't object to the kiss. Smiling in a somewhat puzzled fashion, she reached for her cup and the thermos to give herself a refill of the hot Yule-tea.
---
A few minutes later, Wellokesso and Gustaf had the sleigh lined up at the far end of the runway. Ingolffe Elf and his lumberjack-Elves had extended the strip by flattening a further twenty feet of the forest floor, but the Elves would only know if it had been enough if the sleigh got airborne without dramas.
Rocky scrunched up her face as she looked up the landing strip. It seemed far too short, but there was only one way to find out. Her pink tongue came out to lick her lips as she tried to send a telepathic message to the two reindeer up front that they should give it all they had - and then some. "Well, here goes nothing," she said and slapped the reins.
"Oh, Great Elf," Lotta said and clapped her bright-blue mittens together in a prayer. "Please hear your faithful followers Epilotta Elf and Rockabye Elf… we could sure need a little tailwind this time!"
Wellokesso and Gustaf toiled away up front, and the inexperienced Gustaf let it be known that he was dissatisfied with the heavy load he had to pull by letting out a long, annoyed braying. He kept up his pace, however, and the sleigh was soon going at the recommended speed for take-off.
The white scenery went by in a blur which made Lotta grab the rail atop the buckboard. Her eyes grew wider and wider as the line of tall pine trees seemed to rush towards them, and she opened her mouth to cry for help in case they would need it.
At the last possible moment, Rocky tugged on the reins which made Wellokesso step up the pace even further. As the stainless steel runners left the ground, a cascade of powdery snow fell off them and spread out through the cold air.
"Oh, we're not gonna make it!" Lotta howled at a volume that was only one notch below that of an air-raid siren. "We're not gonna maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
"Like cotton-candy we ain't!" Rocky growled, slapping the reins once more.
"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake it!" Lotta howled, slamming her mittens up to cover her eyes.
An odd, brushing sound reached her ears moments later, but then everything fell quiet. It took a little while before she dared to crack open an eyelid, but when she realized they were safely up in the air, she let out a deep sigh of relief. Then she noticed they had collected a bunch of decorative greenery somewhere along the way.
"Huh…" she said, pulling the evergreen twigs off the buckboard to give them a closer inspection. "Did we ruin the Yuletree already?"
"No," Rocky said, peeking through the branches of the real Yuletree that stuck out between them like a big, green wedge, "but we kinda grazed the top of the trees back there."
For once struck speechless, Lotta spun around in the seat and looked behind the sleigh - sure enough, a large cloud of snow hung in the air where the sleigh had plowed through the treetops. Bumping back down into the seat, she looked between the branches of the Yuletree to find Rocky. "I need a healthy bowl of rice pudding… with a pool of melted butter… and cinnamon… plenty of cinnamon… and a mug of sweet white ale… no, a pitcher of sweet white ale," she mumbled. She soon let out a sigh when she realized she didn't have any of those things - and she couldn't really see Rocky, either. "Oh, Great Elf. This is gonna be a long trip…"
*
*
CHAPTER 2
For the first part of their long journey south, Rocky kept the course inland to keep track of the familiar landmarks, but once they reached Cape Farewell at the southern-most tip of Greenland, they turned east and ventured out over the vast, dark-gray North Atlantic. They flew due east for a while until they had gone past Iceland and the northern islands of Great Britain; then, they made a sweeping turn south to follow the North Sea to the coast of the Netherlands.
Lotta had slept through most of that. Since she couldn't snuggle up next to Rocky like she always did whenever they went on a long trip together, she had become severely miffed and had barely spoken two consecutive words since they had left the Magical Calshiweah Forest. The dullness of the drab, monotonous ocean below, and the odd fact that she couldn't see Rocky though the driver was only two feet away from her meant she had become drowsy, and eventually sleepy.
She was in a better mood when she woke up despite the fact that the Yuletree was still getting in the way of a much-needed cuddle. The weather had turned warmer once they had crossed over the Dutch coastline, so she took off her bright-blue mittens and put them down in the footwell. The sight of the colorful items next to her boots made her furrow her brow in thought. "Hmmm! Now why didn't I think of that sooner?" she mumbled to herself.
"Oh, welcome back from the land of Nod. I didn't catch what you said, sweet Lotta," Rocky said in a muffled voice from somewhere on the other side of the Yuletree.
"I was just speaking to myself," Lotta said and sat up straight. "I said, Lotta, I have just had the best idea ever. Why don't you try to crawl under the cotton-candy Yuletree and come up on the other side where your dearest Rocky is? I mean, granted, it would probably look a little weird to strangers to have a Yuletide Elf on the floor between another Yuletide Elf's legs, but… but… I mean, we've already done so much weird stuff together, so what's a little oddity between friends? Oh, remember the twin miners way, way, way the cotton-candy up north on our way to Peary Land? When I nearly soiled my shorts because I though that… that… that… oh, what was her name? Uh… Irish-Rose and her twin sister Car- something… Carnation was the same person? And that she was in two places at the same time? Well, that was plenty weird right there. Not to mention the rude moose I found in the barn on our way there… yikes. But never mind all that now. I think I'll try to crawl under the Yuletree. Do you think that's possible, Rocky?"
"Whassat?"
"I said… no. Never mind," Lotta grumbled, feeling a new bout of severe miffness rolling over her. "Oh, sugar plum mush, what did we do to deserve this? Rocky, don't be alarmed, I'm coming through!"
"I can't hear a cotton-candy word of whatcha sayin', Lotta!"
Lotta scrunched up her face in defeat. If nothing else, she was an enterprising Elf, so she made up her mind on the spot and crawled down into the footwell. The pine twigs tickled her neck something fierce when she went past the Yuletree, but her mission was successful when she reached Rocky's black boot a moment later. "Ha! I knew I could do it!" she cried, patting the boot in triumph. Twisting around, she popped her head up on Rocky's side of the footwell and let out a jubilant whoop.
Unfortunately, Rocky hadn't been ready for a redhead Elf to appear out of nowhere, especially not right between her knees, so she yelped and jumped up in the seat. Her arms went one way - though she kept a tight grip on the reins - and her feet went another. Not only did she nearly lose her dark-gray, floppy Elfin hat to the strong headwind as she jumped up, she accidentally gave Lotta a fair-sized thump with the tip of her boot.
"Ooof!" Lotta squealed, rubbing her upper chest where the boot had made an impact. "This wasn't one of my best ideas… oh, corn-on-a-cob, what did we do to deserve this?"
"Lotta?!" Rocky cried, looking down into the footwell. "What in Santa's Suspenders are you doing down there?"
"Uh… surprise!"
"I'll say!"
"Oh, but I got so bored over there and I had nothing to do, and I wanted to have a snuggle and a little cuddle but I couldn't see you at all through that… that… that cotton-candy Yuletree, so I thought to myself, Lotta, why don't you try to crawl under the Yuletree and into Rocky's part of the footwell?" - Deep breath - "You know, so we could see each other and have a little fun, maybe sing a song or two or play I Spy or Twenty Questions or one of the other funny, funny things we do together whenever we travel far, but that we can't do on this tickle-monster of a trip 'cos we have to have that cotton-candy Yuletree stuck smack-bang in the middle of us!" - Deep breath.
"I appreciate the idea… but you should have clued me in, sweet Lotta."
"I did! I asked you your opinion, but you couldn't hear anything I said because of that cotton-candy Yuletree!" Lotta said and whacked her fist onto the floorboards of the sleigh.
"Oh… sorry. And I'm so, so sorry for thumping you…"
Scrunching up her face, Lotta reached out to stroke Rocky's leg. "Oh, but that was my own fault… I don't like to be spooked either, so I shouldn't have done it to you. But now that I'm here… you wanna play a game or sing a song or something?"
"How about singing a few of the old Yuletide favorites?"
"Ooooooh! We can definitely do that!"
"Do you have a particular one in mind you'd like to start with?"
"Well," Lotta said and looked around down in the footwell. The view wasn't all that grand - she didn't have a view of anything at all apart from Rocky's legs and boots - so she didn't really feel inspired. "How about… ohhhhh, a little Elf traveled far! Up hill and down vale and oh-so far! O-le, o-le, o-lar! Ohhhhh, the little Elf saw a star! And she wished upon the star! O-le, o-le, o-lar! C'mon, Rocky, here's the second verse… ohhhh, the little Elf…"
-*-*-*-
Singing helped like it invariably did. When they performed a sweeping turn south to follow a busy autobahn to begin the second-to-last part of their interminable journey, they had already gone through most of the Great Elfin Songbook, and even a few songs from the re-issued version though Lotta didn't appreciate them as much as she did the old chestnuts.
It was high time for lunch, and Lotta's tummy let the entire Elfin world know by growling a somber symphony in nothing but minor keys. "Y'know, Rocky," Lotta said as she began to plot the safest course back to her own seat. "I think we need to make a plan about getting some food into my tummy now. I could eat half a kringle-bread. Would you like me to find your gingerbread and some tea?"
"Yes, please. We don't have that far to go now so we might as well eat while we can."
"Oh… time just flies by when you're singing."
"Mmmm-yeah," Rocky said and offered Lotta a smile. "Of course, we still have the most difficult… not to mention dangerous part left, but-"
Gulp! - "More dangerous than the start?" Lotta said and narrowed her eyes down into Elfin-green slits.
"Oh yeah."
Lotta's lips moved for a few seconds, but nary a word came out. "In that case, I'll need a whole kringle-bread. I'll scoot over to my own seat now… can you feel it if I knock on the seat? I need to get down into the storage area."
"That's a good plan, sweet Lotta," Rocky said with another smile.
-*-*-*-
Holding the last few bites of a well-buttered kringle-bread in one hand and a cup of steaming hot Yule-tea in the other, Lotta once more placed her tush on her own side of the sleigh's fur-covered bench seat after checking out the terrain ahead.
It didn't happen often, but she had more important things on her mind than eating the pastry or sipping the tea - her eyes were fixed on the vast, jagged shape that loomed in the far distance. "You need to tell me again, Rocky… why are we going over that mountain instead of around it?"
"Huh?" Rocky said from the other side of the Yuletree, causing the tea to slosh over the side of Lotta's cup when she curled her toes in frustration - and that made her upper lip twist into a grimace.
"I said!" Lotta cried, shaking her fingers to get the hot Yule-tea off them. "Why are we going over that big thing and not around it?!"
"We can't go around it, sweet Lotta," Rocky said in a muffled voice. "The mountain range is so big it would take us a whole day. Our destination is in one of the valleys just beyond the far side of the jagged peak, so… in short, we need to fly over it."
"Oh… sugar plum mush," Lotta mumbled as she finished off the final third of her well-buttered kringle-bread. She washed it down with a healthy swig of hot Yule-tea; she was down to the good stuff at the bottom of the first thermos, and she chewed on the soaked raisins and almonds with relish.
-*-*-*-
Not long after, Lotta stared over the edge of the sleigh with wide open eyes and a slack jaw - the jagged peak of the gigantic mountain moved past directly below them which meant they had to be flying at an altitude that far exceeded their regular flight levels.
Up there, the sun shone from a clear blue sky and they were in fact above the clouds that had gathered in several of the mountain's dips. The air was more than a little nippy-nosey, best illustrated by the steam that poured off the backs of the hard-working reindeer up front. It was difficult to take a deep breath even for the sturdy Elves, and Lotta began to realize why the Humans always sat on the inside of their huge tin cans whenever they took to the skies.
The flight conditions were treacherous; they'd had a solid tailwind as they approached the jagged peak, but the moment they went past it, the sleigh was hit by vicious crosswinds that threatened to upset their delicate balance. The Yuletree creaked in its bindings as the sleigh was rocked back and forth by the winds, but Rocky's sublime skills behind the reins made the ride a safe one.
A flurry of snow that engulfed the sleigh as they were hit by a strong upwind took Rocky and Lotta by surprise, but the snow came from the peak itself, not the sky, so they were quickly back into the sunshine.
The look of the valleys beyond the summit was spectacular as a whitish-bluish-green world presented itself as far as the Elfin eye could see. There had to be a million pine trees, if not more, stretching out from the base of the big mountain to the foothills of the next one, and they had all been doused with snow. Deep blue rivers snaked their way through the white landscape, and several towns and villages built into the sides of the rocky world could be seen in the distance.
"By the Great Elf!" Lotta breathed, staring wide-eyed at the many splendors beyond the sleigh. "Rocky, where are we, exactly?"
"Huh?"
Lotta threw her arms in the air and looked for assistance from the Great Elf herself. "A name! Does it have a name?!"
"Grossglockner. The Big Bell… sorta-kinda," Rocky said from the other side of the Yuletree.
"Huh?"
"The Big Bell!" Rocky roared.
"Oh… thank you. Huh, that's an odd, odd name for a country. When I was an itty-bitty Elf, countries had names like- oh never mind that now. How far up are we, Rocky?"
"Huh?"
"What's! Our! Altitude?!"
"Oh… twelve thousand feet or so."
Lotta gulped hard and grabbed hold of the rail on the buckboard. Grimacing, she slithered further away from the edge of the seat and closer to the prickly needles on the Yuletree - not that the additional four inches would help her much if the load shifted and the sleigh began to tilt. "Oh… I better not practice my schmutting skills, then… it would take me ten minutes just to reach the ground…"
-*-*-*-
Once they flew over the lower foothills of the big mountain, Rocky gave Wellokesso a special command by tugging at the reins in a particular fashion. The leading reindeer brayed and began a controlled descent at once. Gustaf followed orders and added his own braying.
It took them a while, but they eventually wound up at an altitude of nine hundred feet which was far more suited for the next part of their assignment - finding the correct Elfin village where the Yuletrees were supposed to be exchanged.
Since they were lower to the ground, their airspeed seemed to go up, but even the relatively inexperienced Lotta knew that it was merely an optical illusion. After donning her rigid cone Elf hat to look presentable for their hosts, she put her elbow on the side of the sleigh and began to look for the landing site. The ground below was all awash in a sea of white, but several villages were on the horizon. "Rocky, can you hear me?" she said strongly in order for her voice to travel through the Yuletree that reached out between them.
"Huh?"
"Can you hear me?!"
"Sure!"
"Where are we supposed to land? We've gone past three villages already!"
"You're hungry again? Didn't you just chow down a whole kringle-bread?"
Lotta opened her mouth to reply but closed it again at once when she realized that Rocky hadn't heard a thing she had said. Her eyes rolled skyward, but moved back before they could get stuck in that position, like her mother had warned her of. "Never mind," she mumbled, looking beyond the buckboard.
A short distance ahead of them, two columns of smoke caught her eye. The smoke seemed to come from a pair of sheaves that had been set alight, and between the burning sheaves, what appeared to be a runway had been laid out in the sea of white. "Oh!" Lotta cried, jumping to her feet. The wind caught her cone hat, and she had to clamp it down with her hand in a hurry or else it would have flown all the way back to Greenland on its own. "Rocky! I see the runway dead ahead! Do you see it?"
"No, but I see a runway dead ahead. That's gotta be our village."
Lotta scratched her eyebrow that threatened to twitch straight off her forehead. "Yeah… 's what I said… oh, what did we do to deserve this?" she mumbled, sitting down to prepare for the landing.
---
"Whoa… whoa, Wellokesso," Rocky cried as they entered final approach. With the load being so heavy, she was aiming at the very start of the runway so they had plenty of space to scrub off speed. "Whoa, girl, see the runway yet?"
The beast of burden brayed and leaned a little to her right like she was giving Gustaf a reminder of not overcooking it like he did on the last landing.
The strip they were heading for was located on the western outskirts of a medium-sized Elfin village that held a great deal of two or even three-storey buildings. A maze of streets ran between several centrally-placed squares, and the half-timbered houses lining the streets appeared to be of high quality and were all neatly dressed featuring every kind of Yuletide decorations imaginable.
"Ten feet!" Lotta said, hanging over the edge of the sleigh. "Five feet… three feet… aaaaaaaaand… touchdown! Oh! Oo-oo-oo-oo-f!"
The ride was a lot bumpier than either Rocky, Lotta or the two reindeer had counted on. Instead of the smooth, icy surface they had expected the strip to be, the stainless steel runners dug into a thick layer of loose, fresh snow that was kicked up in large plumes as the sleigh blasted down the runway.
"Oh-uh-oh-ah-uh-oh-uh-ah-uh-uh-ah-oh-uh-ah-ohhhhhhhh!" Lotta cried, bouncing up and down in the seat. She grabbed hold of the rail atop of the buckboard, but that meant she couldn't hold onto her rigid cone hat which promptly flew off and disappeared into a white plume of snow. "My ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hat! I lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lost my ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hat, Ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-rocky!"
"Can't ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-talk now, Lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lotta!" Rocky cried back, gripping the reins for all she was worth. She cast a nervous glance to her right at the Yuletree, but the ropes that Ingolffe Elf and his lumberjack-Elves had put on it were still doing a good job of containing the dancing pine. "Who-o-o-o-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-o-o-oa! Who-o-o-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-o-o-o-a, Welloke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke- oh, sugar plu-plu-plu-plu-plu-plum mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mush!" she cried, putting her boots on the buckboard to get enough leverage to tug at the reins controlling Wellokesso and Gustaf up front.
When the sleigh finally slowed down enough for the rapid oscillations to stop, Rocky bumped back down onto the fur-covered seat and let out a deep sigh. After wiping the sweat off her brow, she had to undo the top three buttons of her double-breasted uniform jacket to get some of the hot air away from her body. "Corn-on-a-cob, that wasn't funny… and we're gonna hafta use it for the take-off as well!"
Wellokesso let out an annoyed braying at all the hard work she had been put through, but the promise of some fresh feed and cool water that stood in a shed next to the runway put her in a better mood at once. Gustaf brayed as well, and the inexperienced reindeer sounded like he needed a change of diaper.
A local junior-Elf stood ready at the shed, and he waved at Rocky who politely waved back before she tugged the reins once more to let Wellokesso know she should steer towards the minder. By the time they reached the shed, she nodded at the junior-Elf who came out with two nosebags for the beasts.
"Sweet Lotta, are you okay? You're so quiet," Rocky said, trying to peek through the pine twigs. When she saw the soles of a pair of Elfin boots sticking up where Elfin boots normally wouldn't be, she grunted and hopped off the sleigh in a hurry. Scooting around the back so she wouldn't have to run all the way around the reindeer, she quickly came to Lotta's rescue and put her strong hands around the petite Elf's upside-down body. "There you go, sweet Lotta," she continued, flipping the gift-dropper back around so she was right-side up.
"Hubba… bubba… dibba… dubba… Yuletide Eve is nigh and the bells jingle… oh, hear the bells jiiiiingle so sweet!" Lotta croaked, shaking her head. When she spotted Rocky, a goofy grin spread out over her somewhat slack features. "Good morning, Mammi. I'm up, I'm up… you don't have to yell. Has it been snowing?" - Sniff, sniff - "Oh, I love the smell of rice pudding in the morning!"
"Uh… Lotta?" Rocky said, waving her hand in front of her friend's face.
Lotta's eyes rolled freely around in her head for a few seconds like they weren't connected to anything inside, but then she seemed to come back from wherever she had been since the rough landing. "Oh… yes, dearest Rocky?"
"Are you all right? You were in another dimension there for a moment…"
"I think so. No, wait…"
"Are you in pain?" Rocky moved back to her sweetheart in a hurry and took the petite hands in her own.
"No, but… I lost my hat… I was really fond of that hat…"
Letting out a small sigh of relief, Rocky stepped up into the sleigh and placed a kiss on Lotta's lips. "At least it's red. It can't have gone too far. We'll find it."
"Yoo-hoo!" a female Elf sang somewhere behind Rocky and Lotta, making the two Elves turn around to see what was going on. A lady-Elf in her mid-five-hundreds wearing a red bonnet and dressed in a white-and-red dirndl - the highest fashion in dresses for the local lady-Elves - hurried closer to the runway and her guests. "Yoo-hoo!" she sang again, waving a little handkerchief to get their attention.
"I think the welcoming committee has found us," Rocky said and stepped off the sleigh. Once she could dive into the storage area below the seat, she took Lotta's Yuletide-red parka and handed it to her before taking her own winter coat.
The air wasn't merely nippy-nosy but rosy-cheeky as well, so Lotta buttoned her coat in a hurry while her dearest friend donned her own. She tried to smooth down her unruly, flaming red hair, but it wasn't easy without her beloved rigid cone Elf hat. The corners of her mouth pointed due south until a shock of red somewhere to her right made her look in that direction.
"Grüß die Mutter Elfin! I am Franzi Elf," the lady-Elf said in a heavily accented voice once she was close enough. "Welcome to-" she continued while she put out her arm for the traditional clasping. Before she could make contact with Lotta, the excitable Elf spotted her hat sticking out of a snowbank.
"My hat!" Lotta cried, zipping away from the outstretched arm.
"-Forstbichl… oh! Was it something I said?"
"No. Don't worry about it," Rocky said and clasped arms with their hostess. "I'm Rockabye Elf, and this is my dearest friend, Epilotta Elf. Greetings."
"Greetings," Franzi said, staring wide-eyed at the petite figure of Lotta who performed a wild, unrestrained victory dance upon finding and donning her hat. "I must say… she is…"
"Yes. Quite. And she's also my dearest, dearest friend."
Franzi turned back to Rocky and offered the tough driver a smile. "Oh, that is nice. Ah, my husband Helmut is the mayor of Forstbichl, but he is busy down at the St. Wolfgang Square so he sent me here. Come on, we shall meet him there. Just leave the tree here, we have… ah… Holzfeller… lumberjacks? Elves who will come and take it away into the square."
"My shoulders thank you, Mrs. Franzi. Lotta! Lotta, come and say hello to Franzi Elf!"
Hopping, skipping and jumping, Lotta strolled back through the snow with her rigid cone hat sitting pretty atop her red locks. "Greetings, Mrs. Franzi! I'm Epilotta Elf… just call me Lotta, everybody does."
"Ah, hello Miss Lotta," Franzi said and clasped arms with the much younger Elf. "I was about to ask Miss Rockabye if you are interested in coming to my home to taste a few local Yuletide specia-"
"Yes!" Lotta cried, nodding so hard her hat nearly fell off all over again. "Rocky! Let's go!"
Once again Lotta took off in a hurry, and once again, Franzi Elf stared at her zipping away so fast that little puffs of snow were formed by her boots. "At least she is going in the right direction, but…" the lady-Elf said, turning back to Rocky, "I do not recall that I have ever…"
"Quite," Rocky said and put her hand on Franzi Elf's elbow to let her know they were ready to head to town.
-*-*-*-
Lotta had in fact slowed down by the time she reached the St. Wolfgang Square, but it was only because her sensitive nostrils had been caressed by the warm, sweet scent of roasting almonds. A peddler-Elf had set up a pushcart that was equipped with a large cooking pot, and a long line of joyful Elves waiting to buy a bag of almonds proved that he sold high-quality goods.
"Oooooooooh!" Lotta squealed as the peddler-Elf opened the lid to the cooking pot to scoop up a spoonful of almonds for his next customer. The delightful scent wafted towards her until it had engulfed her fully. Her knees nearly buckled, and all she could do was to waddle towards the pushcart in a state of near-trance.
She was far too polite to break into the line of waiting Elves, but she simply had to press her nose against the little window to see how the almonds looked up close and personal while they were sizzling in the cooking pot. The peddler-Elf had put up a little cardboard note informing the customers of the price for a bag, but Lotta furrowed her brow at the odd currency the price was written in. "Huh," she mumbled. "Schilling? I wonder why they aren't using Kroner here… I'll need to ask Rocky about that. Oooooooh, they smell so yummy… I could eat a bag. No, two bags. No, the entire pot!"
A folk music band striking up a storm behind her made her spin around and zip closer to the center of the action - which happened to be in the center of the St. Wolfgang Square. Seven male Elves wearing black shoes, white, knee-high socks, dark-brown lederhosen and a pale-brown suede vest over a white shirt played merry mountain-music on a tuba, an accordion, two clarinets, two guitars and a special harp-like instrument known as a zither, and the spectators were already cheering and clapping time.
The band was performing in an enclosure that had been put up in front of a huge Yuletree. Strings of little, multi-colored lights ran between four wooden poles that marked the edges of the stage, and two burning firebowls provided the light and the heat so the brass instruments wouldn't stick to the lips of the Elves playing them.
Just as Lotta reached the artists, one of the band members put down his black clarinet and began to yodel in a high-pitched, but highly lyrical voice. The sounds blended together into a hodge-podge stew that Lotta couldn't make heads or tails of, but there was no denying the lead artist was a professional. Squealing in delight, she clapped along with the other spectators and even broke out into a few dance moves.
She only stopped when she felt Rocky's hands on her shoulders. The contact made her turn around and wrap her arms around the taller Elf's waist. "Oh, dearest Rocky! These Elves are so good! Do you want to dance a little?"
"Maybe later. Mrs. Franzi has invited us over to the Mayor's Office while we wait for her husband to come back. Actually, he's around here somewhere…"
"Oh! Oh, that's right," Lotta said and looked across the square at Franzi Elf who had walked up a short flight of stairs in front of one of the townhouses. The matronly Elf waved at her, and she waved back like any polite Elf would.
Rocky scrunched up her face and touched Lotta's forehead with the back of her hand. "Are you sure you're all right, sweet Lotta? You seem so… I don't know… distracted."
Lotta snickered into her hand and took the opportunity to snuggle up tight. "That's because I get all befuddled when we're apart for too long… and we've hardly spent any time together on this trip," she said for Rocky's pointy ears only.
"Yeah, that cotton-candy Yuletree," Rocky replied in a matching voice. "It's going to be the same on the return trip, you know. The next Yuletree probably won't be any smaller."
Lotta nodded somberly. "I know. It's a tickle-monster, but what can we do about it?"
"I don't know, but I do know something else," Rocky husked, leaning down towards her sweetheart while the folk music band began playing another, though fairly similar, tune.
"What?"
"That you're the cutest, sweetest li'l Elf I've ever known… and that I love you," Rocky said and claimed Lotta's lips in a loving kiss. It went on for a little while, and the tough long-haul driver could feel Lotta mellow out and become putty in her hands.
When they separated, Lotta broke out in a goofy grin and rested her head on Rocky's shoulder. "Ahhhhhh. I needed that," she whispered.
"I thought you might."
"I love you too, Rockabye Elf."
"I know. And I thank you."
"You're certainly most welcome," Lotta said and clawed Rocky's side. "Is it time to eat yet?"
"Sure. Let's go," Rocky said and led the boneless Lotta over to the townhouse where Franzi Elf was still waiting for them.
-*-*-*-
The Forstbichl Mayor's Office was anything but a dull, non-descript structure like the administrative buildings were up north near Elf Springs. The three-storey house was chiefly painted white, and the half-timbering was made up of black beams that created a striking pattern on the front. There were four windows on each of the two upper floors, and each window was equipped with a small flower box that presented a pang of strong colors. Up top, the snow-covered roof was built in a steep angle, and it was the home of two chimneys; a column of white-gray smoke wafted up from each one.
The ground floor consisted of two smaller windows that had been covered up, and two larger sections of glass that framed a glass door. Each of the two larger sections had all kinds of Yuletide decorations on display, causing Lotta to stop and gaze at the tinsel, garlands, figurines, woven hearts and golden cornets with a dreamy expression in her eyes.
Franzi Elf opened the door for her guests once they were close enough; stepping aside, she ushered the two northern Elves into the anteroom of her husband's office. "Hello again, Miss Lotta. Oh, I noticed you were looking at our decorations. Do you like them?"
"Yes, they're really, really pretty, Mrs. Franzi," Lotta said and stepped inside, remembering to knock the snow off her boots before she set foot on the carpet. "And the colors are so, so pretty, too. We don't often use blue and silver for our Yuletide decorations back home. Mostly green and red… and gold, of course." While she spoke, she unbuttoned her Yuletide-red parka which made her mittens fall out of her pocket.
When she bent down to retrieve them, Rocky bumped into her from behind - the sleigh driver's eyes had been on the far wall where a shelf carried a slew of bottles containing a dark liquid. "Oh!" Lotta squealed, waving her arms like mad to stop herself from taking a nosedive onto the carpet.
"Ooops. Please forgive me, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and stepped back.
"You're forgiven… I just didn't expect it, tee hee," Lotta said and snickered into her hand. She followed Rocky's gaze to the bottles on the shelf that were all adorned with a bright-orange label. She was about to ask what was so special about the bottles when Franzi re-entered the anteroom.
Having taken off her bonnet, Franzi Elf donned a red, floppy Elfin hat that was somewhat different in style from those worn by the Greenland Elves. "Welcome to my home, dear Elves," she said and put out her arms.
"Thank you very much for having us, Mrs. Franzi," Lotta and Rocky said as one.
"I promised that you could sample some Yuletide treats while we waited for my Helmut to return, so… would you like to do that no-"
"Yes, please," Lotta said, nodding so hard her flaming red locks flew up and down.
Chuckling at the enthusiastic Elf, Franzi clapped her hands together and began to shuffle off to the kitchen which was at the back of the building.
"Wait, Mrs. Franzi," Rocky said before their hostess could leave again. "Those bottles up there… is that the fabled one hundred-and-sixty proof Mountain Rum?"
"It is indeed, Miss Rockabye! I did not know our rum was that famous!" Franzi Elf said with a grin; the grin soon faded into a concerned expression. "Oh, but we should not drink it on an empty stomach… it has quite a kick… so I think we should sample some delights first."
"Works for me!" Lotta squealed, not really too interested in sampling the local spirits, only the local sweets and treats.
---
Entering the eat-in kitchen, Lotta flung herself onto a chair that had been placed in front of a tile-topped table. A stack of napkins seemed to call out for her, so she took the top two and spread them out on her lap and down her schmutting jacket so she wouldn't get all-stained up in case the pastries were runny.
"So, here we go. I prepared something in advance in case you were hungry," Franzi Elf said and presented a tray that saw seven different cookies, pastries and cakes. "Here you have Linzer raspberry tarts, an apricot dumpling, an applestrudel, a pair of vanillekipferl… uh, crescent-shaped vanilla cookies, a miniature marzipan ring cake with a filling of chocolate and chopped hazelnuts, a slice of genuine Forstbichl Stollen and finally a slice of almond-chip, lemon and orange-curd sponge cake that has soaked in diluted Mountain Rum over night," she continued, moving an index finger across each of the seven Yuletide treats in succession while she spoke. Smiling, she pulled back so she wouldn't get in the way of the fiery Elf who was bound to come flying. "Would you like to try one of them?"
"One? I thought the whole tray was for me…" Lotta mumbled, scrunching up her face. She glanced up at Rocky who promptly dove down and snatched the little applestrudel before Lotta could reach it. The driver grinned broadly, and Lotta grinned back - though less broadly.
Franzi hadn't noticed the exchange and took the miniature marzipan ring cake from the tray. "Yes, this is the best Austria can offer."
Lotta had already scooped up the slice of rum-soaked almond-chip sponge cake and had brought it to her lips - then she furrowed her brow and shot their hostess a puzzled look. "Austria? I thought the country was called The Big Bell…?"
"Uh… I am sorry?" Franzi said and returned the puzzled look in kind.
The odd exchange sent the gears grinding in Rocky's mind, but it took her a while before the proverbial tallow-candle had been lit. "Oh! Oh, no, Lotta… you misheard me. That was the name of the mountain we flew over," she said and snickered into her hand. "Grossglockner… that kinda-sorta means the Big Bell."
"Ah," Franzi said, smiling at Lotta. "Now I understand."
Lotta looked from one Elf to the other before she nodded at Rocky's comments. "Ohhhh… that explains a lot. That cotton-candy Yuletree," she mumbled before she put the sponge cake to her lips to give it a little chew with her front teeth. She needn't have worried that she wouldn't like it - the rich taste of the cake aided by the Mountain Rum exploded in her mouth and made her wolf down the rest of it in one gulp. "Oh! This is yumm-my!" was her predictable reply.
Commotion from the anteroom proved to be Franzi Elf's husband Helmut Elf whose rumbling laugh preceded the rest of him as he entered the eat-in kitchen. He appeared older than his wife, probably in his mid-six hundreds, and his substantial girth and his long, graying beard that reached halfway down his chest gave him an air of being a kindly, old Elf.
"Grüß die Mutter Elfin! Servus!" he said in the local Elfin dialect as he took off his gloves, his Tyrolean hat and his heavy, dark-green loden coat. Like so many of the other male Elves in the town, the mayor wore a suede vest over a white shirt, but instead of lederhosen , he wore a pair of dark-brown pants that looked like they had originally come from a hunting outfit.
"Psst, Rocky," Lotta whispered, waving her dearest friend down to her. "What are they saying when they, uh… say that?"
"Well, 'Greet the Elfin Mother' would be a good translation…"
"Oh… that must be who we call the Great Elf. Thank you," Lotta whispered back before she crinkled her nose and made a little kissy at her dearest friend.
"My fellow Elves, greetings! Welcome to Forstbichl," Helmut Elf said, turning back to Rocky and Lotta. "I am Helmut Elf, and I am the mayor here."
"Greetings, Mayor Helmut, Sir," Rocky said and clasped arms with the rotund Elf. "I'm Rockabye Elf, and this is my dearest friend, Epilotta Elf."
Lotta shot to her feet to show the proper respect to an Elf elder. Although Helmut Elf didn't wear an ascot like the elders up north did, Lotta remembered to bow as she clasped the older Elf's arm like her mother had taught her. "Greetings, Mayor Helmut. It's an honor to meet you, Sir."
"Ah, there is no need to be so formal," Helmut Elf said and waved his hand. "I understand you are Santa's A-Team Elves, am I right? You outrank me, ha ha. Now, please excuse me. I need to speak to my darling wife before we can work on the Yuletrees."
While the mayor spoke with his wife in the local Elfin dialect, Lotta's hand snuck over to the next treat. Unfortunately, she came an inch short when their hostess took the tray and offered it to her husband. Lotta could only watch in despair as Helmut took not only the treat she had been eyeing, but the next one as well.
Only two treats remained after Franzi Elf had had one as well, and the corners of Lotta's mouth went even further south when Rocky took the second-to-last one, the apricot dumpling. Her mood improved by leaps and bounds when her dearest friend offered it to her instead of eating it herself, and she sent several more kissies Rocky's way once she had savored the rich taste of the treat.
"So," Helmut Elf said after adding to the kissing theme by placing a pair of busserls on his wife's cheeks. "Shall we go back to the square and settle the Yuletree business? Oh, by the way, some of our lumberjack-Elves have already taken off the tree from your sleigh."
"Sounds good. We've got a long way home," Rocky said and began buttoning her coat. "Lotta?"
"Coming… in a moment… in a wee while… in a bite or two… almost there, dearest Rocky," Lotta said while her hand crept closer to the last remaining snack on the tray. When she reached the vanilla crescent cookie, it disappeared into her yap in no time flat.
-*-*-*-
Though the Elves hadn't spent all that much time inside Helmut Elf's kitchen, the light had faded quite a bit once they came back out into the St. Wolfgang Square. The flickering, orange sheen from the firebowls by the stage had become prominent, and lit candles had been placed in nearly every window throughout the town of Forstbichl.
Lotta lost a step and awwww'ed out loud upon seeing the thousands of red, white and purple lights that twinkled everywhere she looked. Overcome by a strong urge to share the moment with her dearest friend, she sought out Rocky's hand at once and pulled it close to her heart.
The snow creaked under their boots as they strolled over to the huge Yuletree on the square. The pine tree was surrounded by several, gruff-looking worker-Elves, but the folk music band had gone away for the evening - or rather, they had put down their instruments and had relocated to a gaststube , a tavern, close by that sold mulled wine and hot palatschinken , a local variation of pancakes.
Rocky didn't suspect a thing until Mayor Helmut Elf signaled his men that they should begin chopping down the huge Yuletree that graced the center of the St. Wolfgang Square. When she realized just how big the prickly thing actually was, she stopped dead in her tracks and grabbed hold of the mayor's sleeve. "Wait… Mayor Helmut, Sir, we don't have room for that! There's no way, no way on the Great Elf's green earth that we'll be able to get that cotton-candy huge thing to fit!"
Hearing that, Lotta whipped her head around to stare at the lumberjack-Elves who donned spiked shoes and zipped up the trunk like they were part mountain goats. "Buh… the whole tree?" As it dawned on her that she could kiss all notions of snuggling up to Rocky goodbye, her chin began to tremble and a teeny-tiny tear escaped her eye. "I'm going to be a sad, sad, little Elf in a moment or two… oh, no… I'm already a sad, sad, little Elf," she said in a downcast voice.
"There, there, sweet Lotta…" Rocky said and patted the petite hand.
The mayor turned to the two frazzled lady-Elves and put his hands in the air to calm their nerves before the tears would get out of control. "No, you have not understood it, Miss Rockabye… not the whole tree is going, just the top! See, my Elves are already chopping it off now… look," he said, pointing up at the top ten feet or so of the huge Yuletree.
"Oh, thank the Great Elf," Lotta mumbled, needing to lean against Rocky's strong body to regain the strength that the shock had sapped from her delicate Elfin being.
As the eight Elfin eyes - Franzi Elf had joined them - watched the lumberjack-Elves at work, the top came off and fell harmlessly onto the cobblestones at the foot of the trunk. Though it only kicked up a little snow upon landing, it seemed to let out an odd grunt. The people around it hadn't noticed, so they all cheered and raised their mugs of sweet white ale or mulled wine.
The lumberjack-Elves worked quick and efficiently - though not particularly quiet as a strangled yodeling could be heard from somewhere around the square - and soon cast a sturdy net over the cut-off tree top to protect the branches from being damaged on the long flight up to the Norselands.
---
Later on, an entire column of noisy Austrian Elves strolled along the well-trodden path to get to the landing strip on the outskirts of Forstbichl. Helmut Elf and Franzi Elf were at the head of the line of Elves like their status suggested they should be; holding lit torches, they illuminated the path for the others.
Rocky and Lotta were next, and the easily excitable redhead hopped, skipped and jumped along the path while holding hands with her sweetheart and singing fragments of old Yuletide standards at the top of her lungs. Her good mood had recovered fully after the fright at the square, and she was looking forward to a little - or a lot - of quality time snuggling up next to Rocky on their way home.
The long-haul sleigh driver was as cool, calm and collected as she always was though she couldn't keep a wide grin off her face at the sight of Lotta being in such a bouncy mood. Once they were in the air, it wouldn't take them three minutes to break out into song - or kissing. She didn't know which, but it was definitely one or the other.
Four local lumberjack-Elves followed the others carrying the wrapped tree on their shoulders. Judging by the looks on their faces, the package was a lot heavier than it should have been considering the size of the Yuletree, but they weren't about to raise a fuss. The sooner the sleigh took off and flew back up north, the sooner they could go home to their families.
What seemed to be half a regiment of junior-Elves and their parents brought up the tail-end of the column. Some of the many Elves chatted among themselves in excited tones; several others sang a few of the local Yuletide songs. Combined, they drowned out every other noise and sound including a faint yodeling that seemed to come from a point near the wrapped Yuletree.
The sleigh beckoned, and Rocky ran ahead to check up on Wellokesso and Gustaf. The local junior-Elf who had provided the nosebags and the fresh water had taken good care of the beasts of burden, and they appeared fresh and ready to start the long journey home. "Hey, girl…" Rocky said, scratching Wellokesso's flank. "You've done really well so far. Just the last bit to go now. The second Yuletree shouldn't be as heavy as the first one, so I'm hoping it'll be a lot easier for you and Gustaf."
Wellokesso replied by braying and nudging Rocky's hand with the side of her head. Gustaf brayed as well, but it wasn't as strong.
While the lumberjack-Elves moved the Yuletree up onto the custom sleigh's flat bed and secured it by yanking the ropes extra-extra tight, Lotta shuffled over to Rocky and snuck one of her bright-blue mittens around the older Elf's waist. Words were unnecessary when a warm smile was enough to explain how she felt, and that's exactly what Lotta did.
"Yoo-hoo!" Franzi Elf said, barging her way through the throng of lumberjack-Elves, junior-Elves, the parents of the junior-Elves, and various other hangers-on-Elves who had come out to the runway to send off their guests. "Miss Lotta, I noticed that you seemed to like our delights, so I packed a bag for you… there is a little of this and a little of that in there. I hope you will enjoy the treats."
"Ooooo-OOOO-oooh!" Lotta squealed. She jumped away from Rocky to take the bag that Franzi had made for her. A quick peek into it showed two miniature bottles of the fabled Mountain Rum and a dozen or more items that had been carefully wrapped in grease-proof paper so they wouldn't melt together into one, big blob of pastry. "Oh, I don't know what to say, Mrs. Franzi… other than thank you! Now, when I was an itty-bitty-little Elf, the Yuletide was my favorite part of the year. Mostly because of the snow and the presents and the decorations and the lit candles and the garlands and Santa's many reindeer and his lengthy travels around the Elfin world and all those other wonderful, wonderful things…" - deep breath - "But also because my mother would go into the kitchen and make cookies, cookies and more cookies for all of us. Oh, she would make cookies by the sleigh-load! And cakes and pastries and everything else, but mostly cookies." - deep breath - "Crullers, cinnamon specials, pleskens , Finnish bread, peppernuts, and those yummy ones with vanilla that have such a strange name that I always forget because it's such a strange one. Oh, but anyway, I-"
"Lotta, I think they get the picture," Rocky said and put her hands on her friend's shoulders.
"Oh… well, in any case… thank you," Lotta said and clasped arms with Franzi Elf and her husband Helmut Elf. As always, Lotta bowed to the Elf elder who just waved at her in return.
---
The bag with the Austrian treats was put carefully into the storage area beneath the fur-covered bench seat so no harm could come to it. While Lotta was down there, she snatched a raisin bun and slapped some butter on it to have something to do for the first ten seconds of the long flight. "All done," she said and moved away from the bench seat so Rocky could get on with her pre-flight procedures.
"Do you want to keep your parka on?" Rocky said as she took off her own winter coat. While she waited for an answer, she folded it up and put it into the storage area. The answer was still not forthcoming, so she had time to walk around the front of the reindeer to check their harnesses and all the other little things that needed to be inspected before a take-off.
Meanwhile, Lotta was deep in thought over the difficult question. Munch, munch - "I don't know… should I? Maybe I will." - Munch, munch - "I can't say yet. Are we going back over the mountain?" - Munch, munch - "Maybe I should. Or not. Depends." - Munch, munch, gulp - "Oh… it's gone already… do we have time for a second bun?"
"Yes. And no," Rocky said, smirking at her dearest friend's legendary indecisiveness.
"Uh… to which part did the 'no' apply, dearest Rocky?"
Chuckling, Rocky slipped a hand around Lotta's waist and gave it a little squeeze. "Yes, we're going back over the big mountain. No, we don't have time for another bun."
"Oh… cotton-candy."
"So do you want to keep your parka on or what?"
Lotta shuffled from side to side like she always did when she couldn't make up her mind. "Oh… I don't… yes- no. Yes… no, I'll take it off," she said and took the heavy, Yuletide-red winter coat off her shoulders. Stopping halfway down, she reconsidered for a few moments before she took it off for good and put it into the storage area.
"Let's go," Rocky continued, climbing up onto the fur-covered bench seat. Grabbing the reins with one hand, she waved at Franzi Elf, Helmut Elf and all the other Austrian Elves who waved back while cheering loudly.
Lotta stepped up into the sleigh, whipped off her rigid cone hat and made a sweeping gesture with it. "Farewell! We shall return some day… and thank you very, very much for those yummy treats!"
Up front, Wellokesso let out an amused braying at the spectacle, but soon shook her back to get ready for the hard work that was in store for her and Gustaf. When the orders came through a gentle tugging of the reins, the two reindeer set off and dragged the sleigh away from the feeding area and onto the top part of the landing strip.
"Ready?" Rocky said, shuffling around on the bench seat to make her tush accustomed to the conditions.
Finally putting on her hat, Lotta waved a little more at the spectators before she sat down on her own side of the sleigh - it would be too dangerous to snuggle up to the older Elf during take-off. "Fully. Let's go home. I hear a treat calling my name," she said, gripping the rail atop the buckboard.
Rocky slapped the reins which made Wellokesso and Gustaf respond at once. The new Yuletree weighed far less than the one they had brought down south, so it wasn't long before they reached a speed suitable for take-off.
It was still a bouncy, bumpy ride as the sleigh increased its tempo along the runway, but this time, the two Elves were prepared and kept their jaws firmly closed so their sensitive tongues wouldn't get trapped. An odd grunting, groaning, squealing, yodeling sound reached Rocky and Lotta's pointy ears from somewhere behind them, but it didn't make much sense in the present situation so they ignored it - both thought it probably came from the spectators giving them a strong, local send-off.
The stainless steel runners finally let go of the Austrian snow; soon, the two reindeer pulling the custom-built sleigh performed a controlled ascent to gain enough altitude to clear the top of the huge mountain that already loomed large on the horizon.
They had barely made it into the air when Lotta scooted across the fur-covered bench seat and snuggled up against Rocky's side. "Ohhhhh-yeah. Now this is an Elfin life worth living. What more could a little Elf ask for? On a great trip with my dearest, dearest friend in the whooooooole, wide Elfin world… plenty of food waiting for us when we get peckish… the twinkling stars above and the flickering, golden lights down below… wonnnn-derful. What should we do first, dearest Rocky? Sing a little song or play Twenty Questions?"
"Kiss," Rocky said, craning her neck to give Lotta the best possible angle.
Squealing in delight, Lotta shuffled around and claimed the older Elf's lips in a nice, warm, little - or not so little - kiss that gave their hearts plenty of fuel for the first few leagues of their long journey.
*
*
CHAPTER 3
Whenever Lotta was in a funk, she was silent; whenever her spirits were up, she didn't need a bullhorn to reach a wider audience. The enthusiastic singing that preceded the custom-built sleigh as it streaked across the Tyrolean landscape proved that she was having a merry, old time.
"Ohhhh, it's so good to be an Elf!" she sang at the top of her lungs, "Elves, always so kind and warm and free! Elves, the best friends you could ever hope to have! Here's the chorus, Rocky!" she sang, hooking her arm inside Rocky's and swaying left and right like at one of the Little Yuletide Eve Elfin parties back home in Greenland. "Ohhhhhhh, we're Elves, Elves, Elves. We always have an Elfin good time! Elves, Elves, Elves. And we're simply so cute and fiiiine!"
"You certainly are, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and snickered into her hand.
"Which one should we sing now?" Lotta said, reaching up to steal a kiss from the driver's cheek while she wasn't watching. "The good, old Elf Trekking Song? Here we go a-wanderin', a-wan, a-wan, a-wanderin'… or maybe the Hustle And Bustle Song? That's such a goodie, too! Let's do the first couple of verses… oohhhh! The hustle and bustle-"
"But not all nineteen, I hope…"
"No, no. Ohhhhh… The hustle and bustle of Yuletide Eeeeeve, the air is nippy and we need long sleeeeeves! The lights go on at four o'clock sharp, the evening comes with song and harp!"
When Lotta fell silent, Rocky opened her mouth to thank the petite Elf on behalf of her eardrums, but she never got around to it before a deep breath had been drawn and the petite Elf in question had moved on.
"Weeeeeeeeeee-" Lotta howled, throwing her arms in the air. She held the note for a little longer than usual, but then the dam broke and she went on a colorful cruise down all things Yule. Adding to the Yuletide atmosphere, she waved her arms like she was conducting an imaginary choir who acted as backup singers. "-eeeeeeee wish you a merry Yuletide, we wish you a merry Yuletide, we wish you a merry Yuletide and an Elfin Good Year! Oh, I love all those Yuletide songs. Love, love, love 'em. I flat out love them… did I ever tell you how much I love the Yuletide songs?"
Snickering again, Rocky stuck out her tongue at her spirited companion. "Maybe once or twice."
Lotta broke out in a cheesy grin and snuggled up to her dearest friend. "Oh, yeah. Yuletide songs. If we didn't have them, we'd need to invent them. Mmm-hmmm-mm-hhm-hhm-hhmmm. Right?"
"Whatever you say, Miss Elf."
They had already gone past the early foothills of the huge mountain, and Wellokesso and Gustaf had long since begun gaining the extra altitude needed to clear the peak. Lotta tore her eyes away from Rocky's striking profile to look at the jagged mountain ridge ahead of them. "You know, I still can't believe we're actually going to fly over-"
Somewhere in the near distance, a sound akin to strained yodeling was heard.
"There it is again…" Lotta said, sitting up straight. "That's the third time we've heard it since we took off from Forstbichl. Don't tell me you didn't hear it this time, Rocky…"
"Well, I heard it, but… I still can't figure out what it could be," Rocky said and looked over the edge of the sleigh to see if other Elves were close by. Her brief visual scanning proved they had the airspace to themselves for leagues in all directions.
Lotta scrunched up her face and began chewing on her bottom lip. "Oh, dearest Rocky… I'm no expert, but… but it sure did sound like yodeling to me."
"Yodeling?" Rocky said in a flat voice. "That we can hear at nine-and-a-half thousand feet?"
"Well, I said I wasn't an expert, but… hush, there it is again! Can you hear it? Don't tell me you can't hear it this time, Rocky? Dearest Rocky, if you can't hear that, you'll need to have your ears checked-"
"Lotta, it would help if you piped down so I could actually hear something else than your voice… not that your voice isn't sweet, but…"
"Oh…" Lotta said and broke out in a snicker. "You're right. I'll put a Yuletide sock in it now."
When both Elves kept quiet at the same time - for the first time since leaving Forstbichl - they could clearly hear a sound akin to yodeling coming from the Yuletree. Rocky and Lotta stared wide-eyed at each other, and both uttered the same thing at the same time:
"It's a yodeling Yuletree!"
Lotta turned around on the seat and stared at the wrapped Yuletree up on the sleigh's bed. The net the lumberjack-Elves had put around it was so tight nary a pine needle could escape it. On top of that, literally, it was pinned down by two ropes that had been tied underneath the sleigh so it wouldn't fall off. "We need to investigate it, Rocky…" she said and climbed up on the bed during the flight.
"That's probably a good plan. I'll make Wellokesso turn around and fly a little lower. Lotta, please, please, please take care… be very, very careful up there… you'll turn into chunky strawberry jam for sure if you fall off…" Rocky said, craning her neck so she could look over her shoulder at her sweetheart.
Up on the bed, Lotta froze in place. A full-body shiver rolled over her entire Elfin being upon hearing Rocky's warning, and she kept an extra-hard grip on the sidewall of the sleigh's bed. "Corn-on-a-cob… thank you for that mental image, dearest Rocky," she croaked.
"Just sayin'…"
Lotta took a deep breath and sent a little kissy at her concerned friend to show that she appreciated being worried about. "I know. Thank you," she said, reaching up front to pat Rocky's back.
Kneeling next to the Yuletree, Lotta tried to wiggle it to prompt a reaction from it, but it had been tied down so firmly she couldn't move it much. Switching to a different approach, she took off her bright-blue mitten and poked her index finger into a few of the thousands of little holes in the net. The first twenty-two pokes didn't provoke a response, but the twenty-third did.
Her finger met resistance beyond the net, and she could clearly hear a grunt followed by a mumbled curse in an Elfin dialect she couldn't understand. Another poke in the same hole in the net provided the same result. Leaning back on her thighs, Lotta stared at the wrapped Yuletree and came to a startling conclusion. "Rocky? Rocky, I think I've worked it out now… it's not the Yuletree that's yodeling…"
"Oh?"
"No, it's the gift-wrapped Elf inside it…"
"What?! We have a stowaway?" Rocky said, whipping her head around so she could see for herself.
Lotta nodded and tried to poke the same hole for the third time. Like twice before, the poke produced a grunt and a mumbled curse. "It does sound like that… yes."
"Well, sugar plum mush. I'll be a right-old tickle-monster!" Rocky said and slapped her hand down onto her thigh. "All right. Hmmm! Well, whatever we do, we need to get him… or her… sweet Lotta, can you tell if it's a him or a her?"
"Not really, no…" Lotta said and shook her head. She didn't want to poke her index finger through the hole again since it apparently caused the Elf inside discomfort. Once upon an eon ago when she had been an itty-bitty-little Elf, Lotta had been poked and prodded by doctor-Elves and nurse-Elves when she'd had the Elf-measles, and it had given her a strong aversion to poking anyone just for fun.
"All right. But we need to get him or her out of there. Do you think you can cut the net with the pair of scissors we have down in the storage room?"
"Hmmm… I might. I'll give it a good, old Elfin try," Lotta said and shuffled back up front to get the tool.
---
"Well, I'm snipping and" - snip, snip - "snipping and snipping, but not much is happening, dearest Rocky." - Snip, snip - "More snipping and more snipping," - snip, snip - "and snipping and more snipping," - snip, snip - "but only a couple of the squares have been released. Oh wait, there's one I've missed-"
Snip- SPROINGGGG!
The entire sleigh shook and bucked from the force created by the snipping of the last, remaining thread that had held the Yuletree in place. As the many branches and twigs exploded outward in all directions, Rocky had to do quick work with the reins so the sleigh wouldn't spiral out of control - the curses that escaped her mouth proved she didn't think it was particularly funny.
The sound of an air-raid siren reached her ears; a split second later, she recognized it as Lotta's voice. Another split second later, she realized that Lotta's voice didn't come from on top of the sleigh's bed, but from somewhere over the side. "Lotta? Lotta?! Looooooooooo-tta!" Rocky cried, standing up at once to get a clearer picture of what went on behind her.
Epilotta Elf was nowhere to be seen, but at least the air-raid siren-like howl continued. Though Rocky's long, black hair was whipped about and flung into her eyes by the strong winds that came off the mountain's sides, she noticed a pair of petite hands hanging onto the sleigh's right-hand sidewall - the outside of the sidewall.
"Sugar! Plum! Mush!" Rocky barked, sitting down in a hurry. With a quick slapping-and-tugging of the reins, she ordered Wellokesso and Gustaf to bank hard left so Lotta would be able to use the sidewall itself to climb back up onto the bed.
Rocky kept the sleigh banking hard left until she felt rather than saw Lotta returning to the bed. A quick peek over her shoulder confirmed that Lotta was indeed on safe ground, and she slapped the reins at once to make Wellokesso and Gustaf level out. "Oh, Great Elf… I, Rockabye Elf, your faithful and very much humble follower thank you from the bottom of my heart," she mumbled, wiping cold sweat off her brow with the back of a trembling hand.
Behind the trembling driver, a downright shivering Lotta rolled over onto her back and lay down flat between the branches that had pushed her over the edge with the strength of an express-sleigh. "Oh, Great Elf… thank you for looking out for me. I owe you one. A big one. Not even a big one… a huge one. A gigantic one! No, a humongous- Gaaaah!"
The accident-prone Elf let out a brief shriek when she stared into the face of a strange Elf who had appeared from somewhere inside the confusing maze of branches. "Buh… buh!" she croaked, sitting up. "Who-who-who-who are you?"
"Who ya talking to back there, Lotta?" Rocky said up front.
"Him! The stowaway!" Lotta cried, pointing at the unfamiliar Elf.
The Elf in question was dressed in black shoes, white, knee-high socks, dark-brown lederhosen and a pale-brown suede vest over a white shirt. His dark hair had been slicked back, and he carried a thin mustache under his nose. He looked quite a bit like a member of the folk music band who had entertained the local Elves at the St. Wolfgang Square, and a closer inspection by Lotta proved that he was indeed one of the members of the band - it was the yodeler who also played the clarinet.
"Grüß die Mutter Elfin. Servus," the folk musician said in an embarrassed voice. He wanted to tip his Tyrolean hat, but found that he had lost it somewhere along the way.
As a reflex born out of her inherent politeness, Lotta reached up to tip her own rigid cone hat, but found it missing as well - it had probably blown off when she had dangled over the edge. Not only that, but the pair of scissors she had used had gone bye-bye as well. "Well, Greet the Great Elf right back atcha, Sir," she said and put out her arm for the traditional arm-clasping instead. "I am Epilotta Elf, and this is my dearest, dearest friend Rockabye Elf."
"Sorry, no speak Norse Elf language," the musician said in broken north-Elfin. To give the redhead Elf the full picture, he shook his head in a very deliberate fashion. "I bin der Anton Elf. Joa, der Anton aus Tirol, ha ha. I bin clarinetist in die Original Tauerntaler Buam. Musiker, versteh'n Sie?"
"Musiker? Musician?"
"Moo-sie-shan, ja. Wenn d'Musi spielt, ge? Wein, Mädels und g'sang sind alles was 'ne Musiker braucht, net? Un' wenn i mi' net irre, hab' i schon Zwei von denen g'funden. Eh, schöne Mädel? Erzähl mir, bitte… hab'n Sie schon 'nen Freund oder sogar 'ne Verlobte? Oder sind Sie noch zu hab'n?"
"Well, that's nice… except that I didn't catch a word of that. Hold that thought," Lotta mumbled. Holding up her hands, she offered the musician a smile before she crawled back up to Rocky. "Oh, Rocky… I'm so, so, so, SO, so happy to see you…" she whispered, reaching around the driver's waist.
"Not half as happy as I am seeing you in one piece, sweet Lotta…" Rocky said and let out a deep sigh of relief. "By the Great Elf, we scraped by on the hair of your chinny-chin-chin there, didn't we?"
"Yes… thank the Great Elf I had time to visit the little Elf's room while we were in Forstbichl… no, I don't even want to think about that. What are we going to do with Anton Elf?"
"Anton Elf?"
"One of the musicians from the folk music band at the square… the Original Tauerntaler Boomers… or something. I didn't quite get that…" Lotta said and shuffled around so she could snuggle up to Rocky if the urge fell over her. It did almost at once, so she moved in real close and leaned against the strong body next to her. "I can't speak the local dialect, but I think he must have been sleeping up in the Yuletree… or something. And how he's here. With us."
"Well, we can't take him home to Greenland. The paperwork alone would be a real tickle-monster. We need to go back to Forstbichl and drop him off."
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob, that means we have to travel all night to make up for lost time… that always makes me such a drained, little Elf. I can't sleep in the daytime, you know…"
"But you can sleep across my lap on our way home. I love it when you do that," Rocky said with a loving smile that was returned in kind. "Anyway, our Elfin guest must be hungry and thirsty. Why don't you invite him up here for a little snack or two?"
Lotta's lips twitched at the thought of someone other than herself feasting on the snacks she had been given by Franzi Elf, but her politeness took over, and she eventually nodded. "I'll do that. He seems to be a nice Elf… if only we could communicate."
"I can speak the local dialect," Rocky said while flashing a big grin.
"Oh! I love you more and more for each passing day, my dearest Rocky!" Lotta said and promptly put a wet, sloppy kiss right on Rocky's cheek. "I'll get him at once," she continued, shuffling back to their surprise visitor.
-*-*-*-
"Grüß die Mutter Elfin. Servus, i bin der Anton," Anton Elf said as he crawled up front and bumped down on the fur-covered bench seat between Rocky and Lotta. After casting a sideways glance at the tough sleigh-driver, he turned to the cuter redhead and offered her a slick smile.
"He says hello," Rocky translated.
"Oh… hello," Lotta said. "I'm Epilotta Elf… me… me be Epilotta. Lotta, ja?" she said and pointed at herself, "and this is my dearest, dearest friend Rockabye Elf. Rocky."
Though Anton Elf understood some of it, Rocky translated everything into the local dialect. While that was going on, Lotta's cheeks began to redden at the amount of scrutiny their visitor was putting her under. She wasn't the Elfin world's most experienced lady-Elf when it came to the overtures of the Ancient Game, but she recognized interest when she saw it - and there was plenty of it. Anton Elf grinned at her and put out his arm for a proper clasping. To adhere to the rules of politeness and respect between Elves, Lotta was obliged to clasp their visitor's arm, but the musician kept their arms locked for a little while longer than necessary. "Cotton-candy, this is gonna end in a sticky mess," she mumbled as she looked beyond the Ladies' Elf and over to her dearest friend.
Rocky's eyes were narrowed down into Elfin-blue slits, and her lips formed mumbled cuss words that drifted away in the headwind. Looking to her right, she locked eyes with Lotta and saw that her sweetheart needed help. "Anton, freundchen," she said in the local dialect to get the musician's attention, 'let me make one thing perfectly clear. Unless you want to walk home, I suggest you forget all about what you're trying to accomplish. The lady-Elf over there doesn't like your attention 'cos the lady-Elf over there is seeing someone. Namely me. You understand?'
Lotta didn't catch a syllable of that, but she could see in Anton's eyes that he got the message, whatever it had been. Drawing a sigh of relief when the musician scooted away from her, she looked up and winked at her dearest Rocky who returned the gesture in kind.
"Na ja, konnte i doch net wissen, ge? Bitte verzei mir," Anton said, moving up and back so he sat on the edge of the bed instead of down on the bench seat.
"He couldn't know," Rocky translated. "And he apologizes."
Lotta offered their guest a cautious smile and a little nod. "Well, that's the proper Elfin thing to do, after all. Thank you. And we accept your apology."
While Rocky translated, Lotta stood up so she could enter the storage room once the conversation ended and Rocky had time to stand up as well. Opening the lid, she found the bag with the Austrian Yuletide treats that Franzi Elf had made for her. The corners of her mouth traveled south at the thought of all the yummy, yummy treats being snatched from her, but if a lady-Elf - especially one who was in Santa's highly respected A-Team - refused an Elfin visitor the chance of a snack, the whole Elfin civilization would soon come crashing down around their pointy ears.
Pulling up the bag, she presented it to Anton Elf who promptly dove into it with a great, big smile on his lips. He pulled out one of the neat little packages that had been wrapped in grease-proof paper and proceeded to extricate the treat. It turned out to be the applestrudel, and he threw it into his yap at once.
Lotta sniffled and offered the bag to Rocky, but the sleigh-driver declined the offer out of sheer politeness. Sitting down, Lotta stuck her own hand into the bag and found another of the wrapped packages, but she couldn't even feel joyful about it. An Elf should never be comfort-eating, so she dropped the package to let it live to be eaten another time. A sigh escaped her lips, and she turned to gaze into the darkness of the early evening.
It was easy to see that Lotta's good mood was headed south, but Rocky decided to give her little room to brood before she would step in. 'So, Anton,' she said in the local dialect, 'how did you actually get here?'
"Ach, das war 'ne echt kuriose g'schichte…" Anton Elf said, leaning forward so he could speak to the tough driver. 'It's a funny story, actually. There I was, sitting up in the tree with a pretty lady-Elf on my arm… then I heard all the commotion down on the square. The next thing I knew, they were chopping the tree down. The top fell off… of the tree, not the lady-Elf, heh heh… Liebesgrüße aus'm Lederhosen, ge? And I fell down to the ground along with the tree. I don't know what happened to her, though. She must have fallen down on the other side of the big tree. Then the whole thing was wrapped and I ended up here with you.'
Rocky chuckled at having yet another crazy anecdote to share with her long-haul sleigh-driver friends Jasper Elf, Sven Elf and Valdemar Elf once they got back home to Elf Springs. Even on the dreariest delivery-trips she and Lotta would go on, it was a given they would run into something or someone that would be the cause of untold confusion or even discombobulation - and then everything would fall into place for a happy ending at just the right time.
"What did he say, dearest Rocky?" Lotta said, still a little miffed that Anton Elf had chowed down the applestrudel without even acknowledging the yumminess of it. "Was it funny? It must have been since you chuckled."
"It was kinda funny, yes," Rocky said, reaching across the bench seat to pat Lotta's knee. "Anton here was sitting up in the tree with a lady-Elf when the whole thing came crashing down. The lumberjack-Elves wrapped the tree before he could cry out, and… you know the rest."
"Oh… huh. What happened to the lady-Elf?"
"He doesn't know."
"That's rude. I'm peckish."
"Uh, whut?" Rocky said, performing a neat double-take at the rapid change of subject. Furrowing her brow, she glanced at Lotta who seemed to be somewhat miffed over the whole thing. Of course, the surprise visitor Anton Elf had stolen their snuggle-up-quality-time, but still… "Well, you can't have eaten all the treats yet, sweet Lotta?"
Lotta opened her mouth, but only a sigh came out. She shook her head. "I'm a bad Elf. I don't wanna pull them out 'cos I don't wanna share with anyone but you," she mumbled into her green ascot which marked her out as a Novice in the Elfin hierarchy. "I know that makes me a bad, bad little Elf, but… that's how it is."
Rocky smiled and reached over to pat the knee again. "Awww… don't feel down about it, Lotta. I'll tell you what we could do instead. We could split my gingerbread three ways and get a big piece each. I promised you some of it earlier today, but it kinda got lost in the mess with the Yuletree. How do you feel about that?"
"That would be yummy… and then we could all share the last thermos of the Yule-tea…? Anton Elf could have the soaked raisins and the almonds to make up for… for not getting the treats…"
"Best plan I've heard for a while, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and turned back to their visitor so she could speak to him in his own language. 'Hey, Anton… I hope you're hungry 'cos we've got a real yummy loaf of gingerbread all ready to be sliced into three pieces…'
-*-*-*-
Lotta chewed the slowest she possibly could to savor every last sweet sensation that came from the yummy slice of gingerbread. The dark pastry was fresh despite being hauled halfway across Europe; the layer of chocolate frosting had the perfect crunch, and the pool of honey underneath the chocolate was deliciously runny as witnessed by the fact that she had to lick it off her fingers at regular intervals.
No Elf anywhere in the Elfin world would eat and speak at the same time, so she kept quiet while Anton Elf entertained Rocky with a long story that had to be an anecdote of some kind. To make her piece of gingerbread last the longest, she took three sips from her mug of Yule-tea for each bite. Even so, the piece got smaller and smaller between her fingers, and pretty soon, it wasn't there at all. Sighing, she gazed longingly at the final crumb before it went the way of all its brethren.
Anton Elf didn't seem to have been told that Elves shouldn't speak while eating. His anecdote got wilder and wilder, and while he acted out every last detail, he took frequent bites of his gingerbread and sips of his Yule-tea. "Au weia, hab' i g'sagt… wenn die Herzilein ihrem Höschen am Stockerl vergißt kann's aber ganz und gar net mein' schuld sei… ge? Oooooh!"
Rocky chuckled at the risqué ending to the lengthy anecdote. She glanced over at Lotta whom she knew would be expecting a translation pretty quickly. Licking her lips while thinking about which parts to leave out so the sensitive Lotta wouldn't risk a seizure, she came to the conclusion that there wouldn't be much left of the tale on the whole. "Ah… Anton talked about an amusing incident that he and his band experienced last Yuletide with a couple of female backup-yodelers," she said while flashing a blinding smile.
"Oh?"
"Yes."
Lotta had already brought the mug to her lips to sip from the Yule-tea, but when Rocky didn't go on, she narrowed her eyes and shot her dearest friend a puzzled look. "He spoke non-stop for ten minutes… but only said that?"
"Pretty much, yes. The rest was just descriptive," Rocky said and waved her hand.
"Oh… cotton-candy, I really should learn to speak Austro-Elf. On the other hand, I'm already so far behind on my Human I better not add to my workload…" Lotta mumbled, draining the mug.
-*-*-*-
Forstbichl seemed to have been teleported away from the location it was at before, because the custom-built sleigh traveled across the dark landscape - in order to get back to the landing strip so they could offload Anton Elf and keep Lotta's mood a positive one - for what felt like hours on end for the three Elves.
"Sugar plum mush, something's not right here," Rocky growled under her breath. "There's so little light down there it's impossible to see where in Santa's Suspenders we are, or even where we should be going. Snow, snow and more snow… and pine trees. But no villages of any kind."
She had brought the sleigh down to a tree-top-scraping altitude of two hundred feet so they wouldn't miss anything in the darkness of the evening. Not that anything was out there; the villages seemed to have disappeared off the map altogether.
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob," Lotta said, scrunching up her face. "Anton… uh, Anton, do you know where we are?" she said, pronouncing every syllable so even a newborn Elf would be able to understand.
Unfortunately, Anton Elf didn't catch a word of what Lotta was trying to ask him. In fact, he misunderstood it completely and broke out in a spirited bout of yodeling that he accompanied by clapping time and stomping his feet on the fur-covered bench seat.
Lotta didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the odd display, but she rubbed her face to stop herself from doing either. "Oh, this is just perfect. We're lost and he's yodeling… he's a pretty good yodeler, I'll give him that… oh, but never mind that now! We're lost and about to crash somewhere in the Big Ball Mountains or whatever-the-cotton-candy the name was! We'll crash somewhere remote and won't be found for a hundred years!"
"Lotta, we'll still be young and pretty in a hundred years… that's just ten Human years," Rocky said, snickering into her hand.
"Oh… yeah. Figure of speech. Personally, I hope to reach nine hundred at least," Lotta said and snickered back. "As long as we have access to clean water and toilet paper and raisin buns and butter and crullers and peppernuts and the occasional bite of gingerbread and pancakes and layer cakes and… and… and… and cinnamon buns! Oh, Great Elf, I can't believe I forgot the cinnamon buns! Anyway, as long as we have all those things, we'll be fine."
"Sweet Lotta, where are we going to find all those things if we crash-land up in the mountains?"
"Uh… now that could pose a problem, couldn't it? Oh, sugar plum mush, we're doomed… doomed! Doo-hoo-hooomed, I tell you!" Lotta howled, throwing her arms in the air.
Behind the two lady-Elves, Anton Elf scratched his slick hair and looked from one to the other. He couldn't follow the conversation, but the histrionics displayed by the cute redhead meant he didn't have to understand everything to know that she was high-maintenance. "Sag ma', Fräulein…" he said to Rocky as he leaned forward, 'is she always like that? Happy one moment, ready to jump off a bridge the next?'
'She's a very sensitive young Elf, yeah. Very emotional. But the most wonderful lady-Elf you could ever hope to find.'
'That's great,' Anton said and reached out to give Rocky a gentle punch on the shoulder. 'By the way, shouldn't we have been in Forstbichl by now? Not that it matters.'
Getting lost in such a silly fashion grated severely on Rocky's professional pride, but she had to acknowledge Anton's words through a brief nod. 'We should,' she said as she cast a gloomy glance into the growing darkness. 'We're lost. And it does matter.'
'Well, of course… but there's no point in going back to Forstbichl to hook up with my band. They won't be there now.'
"I beg yer pardon?" Rocky said in Norse-Elfish as she whipped her head around.
Anton certainly understood that, and he nodded. 'We were scheduled to leave just after you did. They must have arrived at the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube by now.'
"The St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube?" Rocky parroted in Norse-Elfish - Anton nodded again. "Oh Great Elf, I wish you had said that earlier! I know exactly where that is… Lotta! Lotta, we're not lost after all!"
"We're not?" Lotta squeaked.
"Naw! When Sven Elf and me did a two-sleigh haul down here a couple of years ago, we spent the night at the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube 'cos there was a huge blizzard on the big mountain so we couldn't cross back over!"
Lotta scrunched up her face and shot Rocky a puzzled look. "The St. Johannis-Elf Berg… what?"
"Bergstube. It means mountain cabin, but it's anything but."
"Uh… I don't quite underst-"
"Corn-on-a-cob, finally some good fortune!" Rocky said and thumped her fist onto her thigh.
"Well, that's neat… but we still don't know where we are…"
"True, but since we didn't fly over any peaks, we're still somewhere in the Tauerntal valley, right? I know the Bergstube is built into the side of one of the mountains at the northern end of the valley. All we have to do is to hustle north like a pack of crazed mountain hares until we reach the range… then we can't miss it. I hope." - The last part was delivered under her breath; what Lotta didn't know, she wouldn't get depressed over.
Moments later, Rocky slapped and tugged the reins to let Wellokesso and Gustaf know they should enter a gradual left turn - they were headed north to try their luck at the other end of the valley.
-*-*-*-
The landscape below didn't change much, but at least Rocky could feel in her bones that they were on the right track. It wasn't the first time she had become lost over foreign territory, but she hated being a walking, breathing confirmation of the stereotype that lady-Elf sleigh drivers couldn't find their way out of a soup bowl. She knew for a fact that her male-Elf buddies Sven Elf, Jasper Elf and even the elder Valdemar Elf had gotten horribly lost on more than one occasion too, but nobody would ever dream of holding it against them - once, Jasper, the incurable ladies'-Elf, had ended up on the wrong continent altogether!
What the members of the regular Elf-population didn't know was that the long-haul sleigh drivers never received exact directions on how to get to where they were supposed to go, other than the most basic, like 'south, then east.' Only Greenland had been covered by Elf cartographers, so whenever the manifest called for the cargo to be delivered overseas, there were no maps, no detailed descriptions of any kind to assist them on the long flights - all the long-haul drivers had to rely on was their experience and their own, internal compass.
Getting confused and ultimately lost was part and parcel of the trade, and happened far more frequently than the regular Elves believed, especially at wintertime where the Elfin world that zoomed past below the sleigh was covered in snow.
'Oh well,' Rocky thought. 'It's not about avoiding mistakes, but all about being Elfin-clever enough to get back on track whenever something's been fouled-up.'
She had brought the sleigh back up to their preferred cruising altitude of twelve-hundred feet, and it gave them a wonderful view of the starry night far above them. Though she knew it was impossible, the stars felt different that much further south compared to home. She knew the constellations over Greenland by heart, but she had trouble locating some of her favorite groups of stars when she looked around. A quick glance to her right proved that Lotta had her eyes firmly trained on the heavenly theater as well.
A warm smile graced Rocky's features as she took in the sight of her sweetheart's fair face. Lotta's lips were slightly parted, and her eyes were wide in wonder as she took in the glorious sight of the many twinkling stars and the occasional blinking lights from the tin cans the Humans called airplanes.
'Rockabye Elf,' Rocky thought, feeling the strongest urge she had ever had to pull the petite Lotta close and feast on her lips. 'You are the luckiest Elf in the whole, wide Elfin world… how in the name of the Great Elf herself did a big oaf like you manage to capture the heart of such a gorgeous, cute, wonderful, charming, warm, spirited, loving, and just plain sweet Elf…? I'll never know, but by all Elfin-things holy, I'm grateful for it…'
When Lotta felt Rocky's warm gaze upon her, she locked eyes with her dearest friend and sent her a little wink. She had an uncontrollable urge to scoot over to Rocky and let her know just how much she appreciated everything they had - but alas, the pair of lederhosen , knee-high white socks and black shoes that poked out between them proved they weren't alone to pursue their hopes and dreams. While she mumbled under her breath about the unfairness of it all, Rocky took the matters in her own hand - sort of.
"Anton, Freundchen," Rocky said, nudging Anton Elf's boot, 'would you mind moving back to the tree for a moment? My dear friend and I need to do something.'
Anton grinned and reached down to thump Rocky's shoulder. "Schon g'scheh'n, Rocky," he said, pulling his legs back and scooting onto the flat bed to give the lady-Elves some privacy.
Lotta and Rocky grinned at each other as well, and it didn't take Lotta two heartbeats to zip across the fur-covered bench seat and shuffle into a position where her lips would do all the talking.
---
The kissing, snuggling and cuddling had worked wonders on Lotta's mood, and once she was fully recharged, she couldn't hold back the Yuletide songs any longer.
"Ohhhh, it's so good to be an Elf!" she whispered, looking at Rocky's profile. The sparkle entered her eyes, and she stuck out her little, pink tongue in giddy anticipation. "Wanna sing? Please say yes, oh, dearest Rocky… I feel like singing."
"Let's sing, sweet Lotta," Rocky whispered back.
"Elves, always so kind and warm and free!" Rocky and Lotta sang in perfect harmony. "Elves, the best friends you could ever hope to have!" Lotta continued on her own, throwing her arms in the air to prepare for the chorus. "Ohhhhhhh, we're Elves, Elves, Elves. We always have an Elfin good time! Elves, Elves, Elves. And we're simply so cute and fiiiiine!"
Grinning, Lotta buried her face in the nook of Rocky's chin. The pull of the warm skin was too strong to ignore, so she placed a tiny peck there before she pulled back. "And here's another one! Oh, I saw three Elves come sailing in on Yuletide day, on Yuletide day, I saw three Elves come sailing in on Yuletide day in the morning… and they sailed into old Elf Springs on Yuletide day, on Yuletide day, and they sailed into old Elf Springs on Yuletide day in the morning… awwww, that's such a goodie," Lotta said and snuggled up close to Rocky. "And how about this one… ohhhhhhh! On the first day of Yuletide, my sweetheart sent to me, a shiny, red candy apple… on the second day of Yuletide my true love sent to me two peppernuts and a shiny, red candy apple! And so on and so forth!"
Chuckling, Rocky pulled her excitable sweetheart even closer. "I kinda like the more sentimental songs, like Silent Night."
"Oh, that's such a goodie too! Siii-he-lent night, Eeeee-helfin night-"
Lotta had already drawn a deep breath to continue singing the spiritual classic when Anton Elf's trained voice joined them from the back of the sleigh. The professional Elf sang in his own language which obviously changed the lyrics, but the meaning still came across. "Oh," Lotta breathed, whispering so she wouldn't disturb the performance, "listen to that, dearest Rocky… oh, he's a wonderful singer."
When Anton had finished the first few verses, he yodeled the rest much to Lotta's great joy. Just for fun, she tried to yodel along with the professional musician, but her efforts weren't exactly what any Elf would call spot-on - it didn't matter one bit since an Elfin good time was had by all three Elves sharing the sleigh.
---
Some time after their spirited bout of singing and yodeling had ended, their attention was grabbed by several golden points of light in the near distance. The lights flickered which seemed to suggest they were produced by lit candles. When Wellokesso and Gustaf had pulled the sleigh a stretch closer, the two Elves up front were able to discern the origins of the lights.
"Ah! The St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube!" Rocky said, tugging the reins to make the two reindeer begin their descent. "Told you it was around here somewhere… and we found it."
"You found it, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and placed a quick peck on Rocky's cheek before she scooted back into her own corner so she wouldn't get in the driver's way when they entered final approach.
'Anton, you can come up for air now,' Rocky said over her shoulder. 'We're almost at the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube.'
"Na, schau ma'. Wir hab'n's tatsächlich g'schaft. I bin schon 'ne bisserl beunruhigt g'word'n, aber okeh," Anton Elf said as he climbed forward and put his legs over the upper edge of the bench seat. Grinning, he put his hand behind his pointy ear. "O-ja, meine Jungs sind schon da. I bin gleich hier weg, un' dann können Sie Ihrem Herzilein 'ne ganz starke Bussi hau'n, ne? Guat so, net?"
"Ja… pretty good," Rocky said with a cheeky grin.
"Psst, Rocky… what's he saying?" Lotta whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
"He's saying that his boys are already there. He can hear them."
Lotta waited for the rest of the lengthy sentence to be translated, but when Rocky didn't go on, she shrugged instead. "All of that talking just to say… well, hardly anything. 's funny, I don't get the local language at all. I mean, he just talks and talks and talks and talks and talks and talks but when you translate, it's just something we northern Elves could have said in two or three words… or even less, perhaps. 's funny."
"Yep."
Lotta's eyes narrowed down into Elfin-green slits at Rocky's cheekiness, but she settled for sticking out her tongue at her dearest friend instead of giving her a piece of her mind.
Wellokesso and Gustaf responded to the lights and the distant music as well, because they let out a few brays at the prospects of getting something to eat and drink. When their reins were tugged, they went into a sweeping right-hand turn to get lined up for the entry point of the landing strip that had come into view down below.
The strip had been laid out as an rectangular shape in the sea of white, and each corner was marked by a burning sheaf like at Forstbichl. Nearly a dozen sleighs - including a few large ones - were already parked next to the runway, indicating that it was frequently used and thus in good shape for a change.
It was an easy task for the experienced sleigh-driver to get the sleigh down onto the ground, and the strip wasn't even bumpy. As Wellokesso and Gustaf slowed down from their approach speed, a minder-Elf came out from a shed to greet the new guests to the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube.
Anton Elf was already on his feet by the time the reindeer had the sleigh down to a regular driving speed, and he jumped off the first chance he got. 'Rocky, I'll just have a look-see, but I'm positive it's my band in there,' he said as he jogged along next to the sleigh to keep up.
"Sure, Anton," Rocky said, watching the musician zip across the snow-covered lot in front of the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube.
Once the sleigh had come to a halt and the minder-Elf had approached them to ask Rocky if she wanted anything done to her reindeer while they were there, Lotta hopped off on the other side and strolled a short distance across the lot to take in the sights. "Wow, that's so pretty," she said, staring wide-eyed at the Bergstube.
Far grander than a mere 'mountain cabin', the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube was a picturesque, three-storey half-timbered Alpine hotel where the entire ground floor had been made into a tavern. Like the building housing the Mayor's Office in Forstbichl, each window was equipped with a flower box that sported several colorful flowers and plants. Three smoking chimneys resided on the steeply sloped, snow-covered roof, and eight unlit torches had been stuck into the snow on the lot to create a pathway leading to the main entrance - an intricately crafted oak door. The flickering lights they had seem from afar turned out to come from multi-branched candlesticks in the windows on the upper floors.
Just as Lotta was taking in the romantic beauty of the old hotel, the oak door opened to reveal Anton Elf. The musician zipped back out until he reached Lotta. "Hab' i doch g'sagt," he said while sporting a big grin. "Meine Jungs sind da un' die stimmung is' schon ganz feurig. Sollen wir net ma' 'ne bisserl tanzen, wir beide? Na? Oder vielleicht doch net… na ja, i muss lauf'n, ge?"
Lotta could only stand and gawk at the musician as he ran on to find Rocky. The two Elves spoke briefly before Anton ran back across the lot and into the Bergstube. When Rocky came close enough, Lotta put out her arm and hooked it inside that of her dearest friend. "He seems to be a nice Elf, but I wish we could speak the same language… I'm so confused."
"He actually invited us in for a dram and a dance," Rocky said casually.
"Oh… was that it? He talked and talked and… oh, well. They can keep the dram, but I'd love to dance with you… oh, Great Elf, that would really, really make my day… or evening… or whatever time of the day it actually is now. Dark o'clock. Ummm, do you think they would mind if we danced together?"
"I don't think they'd mind at all, sweet Lotta. Let's find out," Rocky said as she reached for the heavy oak door.
---
The small lobby beyond the main entrance of the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube saw a wooden staircase that went up, a pair of doors that led off to either side of the central hallway, and a pinewood reception desk where the owner of the establishment had put an old-fashioned bell and a card informing the guests that they should ring the bell in case they wanted a room.
The tavern itself was behind the door to the right of the lobby, and Rocky took Lotta by the shoulders and guided her over there.
On their way to the door, Lotta snickered into her hand. "Great Elf, it's not difficult to hear where the tavern is, huh?" she said in a voice that needed to be loud to drown out the folk music and happy squeals that came from inside the next room.
"No. I have a feeling you'll like it here, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and pushed open the door.
As soon as they stepped inside the main room of the tavern, a rush of impressions rolled over them to give them a proper welcome to the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube. The Original Tauerntaler Buam folk band played a loud gig on a stage at the far end of the room, and their enthusiastic audience consisted of several squealing, wiggling lady-Elves who seemed pleased as punch to be so close to the members of the band. Anton Elf stood at the front of the stage, and he went into an impressive clarinet solo just as the singing members of the band had finished the chorus.
Several waitress-Elves wearing traditional dirndls hustled back and forth between the guests and the ale kegs at the back of the bar. Since they were of a sturdy Mountain-Elf stock, they had dispersed with trays and simply carried four, six or even eight mugs of ale at a time in their Elfin hands.
"Whoa… look at this! It's so neat!" Lotta said, slowing down to a crawl on her way over to a long bar counter that had been set up at the near wall of the tavern. While Rocky went ahead to order something nice to drink, Lotta did a slow spin to take in all the sights, like the low ceiling and the wooden Y-beams that held everything up. A fire had been lit in an open fireplace at the back wall, and the flickering flames added plenty of heat to the room.
The area nearest the bar saw several booths equipped with benches and small, round tables adorned with checkered tablecloths, but the main part of the tavern was reserved for the area in front of the stage. Lotta surmised that would be where the dancing took place once more guests had arrived.
The walls were decorated with paintings of the many bands and artists who had performed at the establishment over the years. Paintings of a slightly more colorful nature depicted Elves in various stages of partying, and Lotta had to snicker at some of the wilder ones.
Noticing that Rocky was waving her over, she zipped over to the bar where a large mug containing a dark-brown liquid waited for her. "Sweet white ale?" she said, picking up the beverage.
"Yes. Their own brew," Rocky said and raised her own mug. After clinking the mugs, they took several, long swigs of the cool, tasty ale. "Ahhhhhh, can't go wrong with sweet white ale," she said, wiping the inevitable foam-mustache off her lips.
Lotta didn't have time to talk - she continued gulping down the ale until the mug was as dry as a desert. "Oh, that was yummy," she said, licking off her own foam-mustache. "Dearest Rocky, do you think we could buy another one in a little while? It was really nice and refreshing. Did it taste any different to you compared to the ones we get back home in Elf Springs? Maybe they had put a little more sugar in it… mmmm… can't say. I think I'll need to have another one to know for sure."
"We can do that later… they have plenty of it. By the way, the bartender offered to mix us a Jägertee … uh… a Hunter's Tea… as a chaser, but I said no. I hope that's all right with you."
"Well… I don't know what that is," Lotta said, shuffling back and forth on the spot.
"It's regular hot tea with a triple shot of the one-hundred and sixty proof Mountain Rum."
"Ah. Uh… no. No, that would make me a very drunk, little Elf. No thank you," Lotta said and stared wide-eyed at one of the waitress-Elves who came out from behind the bar counter carrying six full mugs of sweet white ale.
Before Rocky could reply, the main door was flung open to reveal a host of giddy Elves who entered the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube with a merry song on their lips. Eight in total, they quickly paired up into four couples who were dressed in colorful dirndls for the lady-Elves, and lederhosen , white shirts and suede vests for the male-Elves.
The Original Tauerntal Buam noticed the new guests and played a fanfare to celebrate their arrival. Everybody laughed and cheered, and the new Elves swarmed over to the bar to place their orders before they hurried down to the area in front of the stage to grab the good spots before the place would get too crowded.
Lotta was about to ask if they should mosey down there as well when the bartender-Elf distracted her by putting a basket of free breadsticks on the counter. There were three different types of breadstick on offer: a regular one, one that had been rolled in sesame seeds, and one that had been rolled in various dried herbs.
Predictably, Lotta couldn't make up her mind which of the three she wanted to sample first. She was put under severe stress when a few guest-Elves came by and snatched away several of the breadsticks that she had already set her sights on, so in the end, she just scooped up three and hoped she had managed to grab three different ones. She hadn't - in her haste, she had taken two of the regular type, but Rocky came to her rescue by offering her one that had been rolled in sesame seeds. After exchanging breadsticks, Lotta grinned and sent her sweetheart a few kissies.
Down at the far end of the St. Johannis-Elf Bergstube, the folk band came to the conclusion of the early part of their set, and Anton Elf stepped up to the edge of the stage so he could address the audience. He spoke at length in the local dialect, and Rocky tried to keep up with her translation so Lotta wouldn't feel left out.
When the audience cheered and began to pair up, Rocky grabbed Lotta's hand and gave it a little squeeze. "It's time to open the dance… they'll start with the Three-Two-One Polka. Remember that?"
"The Three-Two-One Polka?! I don't belieeeeeeeeeeeeeve it! That's one of my favorites!" Lotta cried, zipping away from the bar counter at such a breakneck speed that Rocky had no chance of following her. When the easily excitable Elf reached the dance floor, she waved at Anton Elf who waved back wearing a big grin; then, he counted off to make the Original Tauerntal Buam begin the meaty part of the evening's entertainment.
It didn't take long for the Elves in the audience to line up in the starting positions for the Three-Two-One Polka, and even Rocky had made it there. Lotta grabbed hold of her dearest friend's arms to make her stand in the proper spot, namely so they would face each other. Almost at once, the cheeky Rocky began to pull faces and send little kissies at Lotta which made the younger Elf break out in an unrestrained snicker.
When the folk band struck the opening chord, Rocky and Lotta clapped their hands once and hooked their right arms inside each other's. One of the local Elves let out an echoing mountain-whoop that was replied to in kind by several of his fellow Elves, and up on the stage, Anton Elf burst out into a spirited bout of yodeling that was a perfect fit to the polka.
Adding their own cheers to the whooping, Rocky and Lotta performed a near-perfect Three-Two-One Polka by going three revolutions one way before they switched arms and went three revolutions the other way. Separating but still remaining face to face, they moved three steps sideways across the dance floor while stomping their boots onto the hard, even surface. After coming to a halt at the third sideways step, they bent down to slap their thighs twice and clap their hands once - then they started over by whooping out loud and hooking their arms inside each other's. Three revolutions one way, then three revolutions the other way…
---
Steaming hot from all the dancing and whooping, Lotta and Rocky were finally sated with the whole thing and began to swim upstream to get to the bar. Once there, Rocky ordered two mugs of sweet white ale that was delivered almost before she had placed the order.
"To you, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and drained half of it in one gulp. Lotta smiled back and once again outdid her sweetheart by draining the mug fully. "Ahhhh," Rocky continued, using her sleeve to wipe off her mustache.
"Ohhhh, this is so yummy. I'm sure they have added more sugar than back home," Lotta said, wearing a white-brown foam-beard that Santa would have been proud of. Wiping it off, she offered Rocky a genuine smile. "This is the most fun I've had since the big Amateur Elf Talent Show on Little Yuletide Eve last year… aw, that was so wonderful. But this was better, I think," she continued, eyeing the basket of free breadsticks that the bartender had refilled since the last time they had been at the counter. Just to be on the safe side, she snatched three again and made doubly-sure to get one of each.
"Yeah, this was fun, I agree," Rocky said and turned around so she could look at the hive of people moving to the bouncy rhythms created by the Original Tauerntal Buam. The folk band was performing an instrumental, so Anton Elf had time to wave and nod at the tough long-haul sleigh driver. She nodded back and tipped her floppy Elf hat. "Sweet Lotta, I think it's just about time for you and me to begin the long journey home."
Crunch, crunch, crunchcrunchcrunch- gulp. "I think you're right, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and felt a yawn sneaking up on her from behind. She barely had time to move her hand up before the yawn attacked her and forced her into opening her yap so wide she nearly turned inside out.
"Uh-huh? Do you need to use the little Elf's room befor-"
"Yes."
Chuckling, Rocky leaned down and placed a kiss on Lotta's forehead. "That's right over there… see the door by the open fireplace? While you do that, I'll venture outside to pay off the minder-Elf and turn the sleigh around. All right?"
"Oh, but you can't leave yet…" Lotta said, grabbing hold of Rocky's uniform jacket.
"Why? What did I forget?"
Lotta jumped up on tip-toes and puckered up her lips. "To give me a proper kiss!" she said around the pretty, little kissy-mouth.
"Ah! And I have just the thing for it," Rocky said, leaning down to take care of business with an almighty smooch right on Lotta's kisser.
*
*
THE END of THE YODELING YULETREE
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
2: "Little Red Runabout"
December Fourteenth was still young - not to mention dark - when a shrill ringing interrupted Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf's sleep. Though she had been stirred awake, she had no intention whatsoever of getting as much as a big toe outside the comfortable, warm nest she had created under her heavy winter duvet. Her snow cone didn't give her much choice in the matter, however, with its incessant ringing.
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob… who the cotton-candy is calling me at stupid o'clock? It ain't even dawn yet!" Rocky mumbled from underneath the duvet. Her bare, bronzed arm ventured outside into the chill on a quest to find her bedside table so she could pick up the snow cone. The table was easily found, but the probing hand knocked the snow cone handset off the base station and onto the carpet on the bedroom floor.
Groaning, Rocky swept aside the winter duvet to peek down on the floor. She soon spotted the book she had read when she went to bed - it had dropped onto the carpet when she had fallen asleep in the middle of a paragraph, but at least the bookmark had stayed in place - but no snow cone.
She leaned further out to look under the bed, and finally found the apparatus that had ended up halfway over to the other side. The snow cone was snatched up in an almighty hurry and brought back under the duvet before all the warmth would escape. "Mmmm-yeah, this is Rockabye Elf," she said in a voice that was muffled by the thick cover surrounding her.
'Greetings, dearest Rocky!' Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf said at the other end of the connection. Her voice was bright, cheery and completely at odds with the sleepy grunt that escaped Rocky's lips as the tough, long-haul sleigh-driver's only reply.
Lotta didn't notice a thing and pressed on in her usual bubbly fashion. 'I've just made pancakes and some hot chocolate for breakfast, and I thought to myself, Lotta, why don't you call your dearest friend Rocky so you could hear her voice on this dull, overcast, drizzly morning? So I did!'
"Pancakes?" Rocky mumbled, having not picked up much of the conversation beyond Lotta's name.
'Yes! Oh, they're so yummy! I visited Mammi and Pappi last evening to invite them over for the post-Yuletide bash like we discussed, right?'
"Wait… the Yuletide bash? That can't be today- oh… yeah…"
'And Mammi gave me this brand new recipe for pancakes. Well, you know me, so I tried it first thing this morning.'
"That's nice, Lotta…"
'It is, 'cos they're really, really yummy! Oh, you wouldn't believe how good they taste. I always put a little cowberry jam and a healthy shaking of icing sugar on top. It can't get any better than that! Well, it could, actually, if you were here to share them with me… could I tempt you to come over?'
Even, sleepy breathing.
'Rocky?'
"Huh… oh… I'm awak- I mean, I'm still here," Rocky said and fumbled around underneath the duvet. "Uh… you were saying?"
'Did I catch you sleeping, dearest Rocky?' Lotta said, quickly followed by a sound of snickering that drifted across the connection.
"Yeah…"
'Oh, I'm sorry. I'll call later…'
"Nah, I'm awake. I'm not up yet, but I'm definitely awake," Rocky said and grabbed hold of a corner of the duvet so she could sweep it aside whenever she felt she was ready for it. She did move the upper edge down a bit so her blue eyes and her dark, sleep-tousled hair appeared in the gloominess.
Her bedroom looked like it always had, with the large wardrobe in the corner and the heavy curtains drawn to close out the meager light. Her laundry basket had a little pile of working clothes on top of it that she had planned to wash during the day; next to it, her clean clothes were laid out so she didn't have to spend too much time searching for stuff to wear.
'I've been up for an hour already…'
"What the cotton-candy for, Lotta?"
'Oh, I was so excited about the new pancake-recipe that I could hardly sleep. Food is important to us Elves, you know.'
"Trust me, I know."
The line went silent for a few moments while Lotta chewed on the cowberry-decorated pancake, but then she returned with a 'Yeah,' and a snicker. 'Oh… they're gone already… how is that even Elfinly possible? Rocky, you might as well stay in bed now. There's no point in coming over 'cos I've already eaten all the pancakes. Oh, they were so yummy! What are you doing later on? Say at lunch or so?'
"Dunno yet. Probably eating."
'Ohhhhhh, don't give up your day job, dearest Rocky! You know what I meant!'
Chuckling, Rocky swept aside the duvet intending to get out of bed, but the chilled air that fell over her bare arms and legs scuppered her plans in a heartbeat. Instead, she swept the duvet back over her and snuggled up in her little, warm nest. "Ugh, it's too cold to get up before dawn… it's just too cold to get up, full stop. What time is it?"
'Just after nine.'
"Sugar plum mush, then I need to get up… Canute Elf is going to swing by just after ten with a full load of feed for Gustaf," Rocky said and did the iron-lady-Elfin thing by swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The chilly air struck her at once and sent goose pimples all the way up and down her bare arms and legs. Shivering, she tried to reach for her bathrobe that she always put across the foot end of her long bed, but it wasn't there. She groaned under her breath when she remembered that she hadn't brought it into the bedroom the night before.
'Oh?'
"Yeah," Rocky said and got up from her bed. "I was able to buy twenty bags for the price of fifteen… and I need it. He's eating me out of the house, that li'l critter. He eats more than you do!"
'Im-possible!'
"Naw! Cross my heart and hope to meet the Great Elf. He can eat more than half a bag of feed a day. That's twenty pounds of reindeer snacks right there…" While Rocky talked, she padded across the bedroom carpet and into the hallway on bare feet. She only wore a black tank top and a matching pair of mediums, and the chill did its worst to ravage her Elfin body. Breakfast beckoned, but mother nature's call was louder, so she spun around and turned toward the door to the bathroom. "Lotta, I need to use the little Elf's room now, so…"
'Oh! Oh, that's quite all right, Rocky. I just wanted to ask if you would like to come over for lunch today? I have something I'd like to discuss with you… but if Canute Elf is going to drop by, maybe you won't have time for me…?'
"Sweet Lotta," Rocky said, crossing her legs one way; then the other. "I always have time for you… except right now… if you catch my drift. But I'll definitely pop over for lunch."
'Oh, that's so wonnn-derful! See you then, dearest Rocky! Mmmmua!'
"Mmmmua right back atcha… and now I really need to hustle like a crazed mountain hare, so… bye!" - The tide was high and the dam threatened to burst, so Rocky barely had time to throw the snow cone onto the low sideboard in the hallway before she stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her.
-*-*-*-
By the time lunch rolled around, the weather had improved by leaps and bounds. The freezing drizzle that had fallen from the leaden skies for most of the morning had been chased away by the sun that had come out to play. The large, orange ball in the sky cast its golden rays upon the Elfin world in and around Elf Springs, and the return of the light sent all the Elves into town for a romantic mid-day stroll.
Rocky and Lotta had wanted to get the most out of the fair weather, so they had only had a light lunch - a pair of cheese crackers for Rocky, and two whole waffles with whipped cream and strawberry jam for Lotta - before they donned their winter clothes and ventured outside.
Standing in the middle of her garden path, Lotta took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Though sunny, the weather was still rosy-cheeky, so she had put on one of her parkas - this one was midnight-blue. "Ahhhh… lovely weather! Not long to go now, Rocky," she said as she fiddled with the string for the furlined hood. "Nine days to the big bash on Little Yuletide Eve. Ten days to go until the Night of Nights. Eleven days to the post-Yuletide bash we'll be having with Mammi and Pappi… oh, I wish your parents could come too."
"I asked them, but Trentino is just a little too far away, Sweet Lotta," Rocky said, slipping up behind her sweetheart. Since she couldn't kiss the flaming red locks that were hidden underneath the hood, she squeezed the petite shoulders instead.
Nodding, Lotta began to shuffle through the creaking snow down to her garden gate and eventually out to Rocky's sleigh. "Yes, but it's still too bad. So… what did you think of my idea?"
"Well," Rocky said, closing the garden gate behind them. The front door to Lotta's Pine Cone Villa on Chestnut Street was unlocked, but no Elf had ever needed to lock their doors since the dawn of Elf-time, so Lotta never even considered it. "Owning your own sleigh is a cool idea, but it will take some effort on your part, Lotta."
"I know," Lotta said and shuffled around on the spot like she always did when she couldn't make up her mind about something. "I'll need regular access to a reindeer… and feed and water… and grooming equipment… and a sleigh-driver's license… and a hundred other things."
Rocky grunted and followed her dearest friend out onto the snow-covered sidewalk. Moving around her custom-built sleigh, she knocked the snow off a boot before she put a foot up into the footwell. She stopped there and waited for her sweetheart to come around the sleigh. When Lotta was ready to climb up onto the bench seat, Rocky tapped her knuckles on the buckboard. "A hundred other things like remembering to keep the runners well-greased so they won't rust. Or rubbing oil into the reins and the leatherware on the harness at regular intervals so they won't get brittle and snap in a freeze. Or remembering to check the brass locks at least weekly so they won't develop burrs that might dig into the reindeer's flanks when it pulls the sleigh."
"Oh, Great Elf… it wasn't a good idea after all, was it?" Lotta said. The corners of her mouth were already traveling south and the rest of her Elfin-being wasn't far behind.
"No, it's a good idea provided we stay on top of all those things I mentioned."
"We?"
"Well, of course, sweet Lotta. I sincerely hope you didn't think I wouldn't want to help you fulfil a dream?"
"Awww… thank you, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and broke out in a blush.
Chuckling, Rocky finally stepped up into the sleigh. "The license is the most important part, though. Flying, or even just driving, these things is not as easy as it appears."
When Lotta didn't answer apart from a thoughtful nod, Rocky placed her tush on the fur-covered bench seat and shuffled around to find a good spot. "So, where do you want to go?" she said, picking up the reins after putting the bobble of her floppy-cone Elf hat over her left shoulder.
Up front, the still-inexperienced steed Gustaf shook his back and let out a long braying as if to say he was ready for their little pleasure-ride.
After climbing aboard, Lotta dug into her parka's liner pocket to find a clipping she had snipped from the Elf Springs Gazette. The ad was from a local used-sleigh-salesman who boasted that his second-hand models had been fully refurbished and were as good as new.
She looked at it for a little while without replying to Rocky's question. Crinkling her nose, she nearly put it back in her pocket, but changed her mind and showed it to her dearest friend instead. "Look here, Rocky… Sorenius Elf's Quality Second-Hand Sleighs. I know what you're going to say, but I'd just like to get a feel for what's out there on the market at the moment. Would that be all right with you?"
"Of course it would, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and held the reins ready. She checked the address one more time before she looked over her shoulder to see if they had traffic moving up on them. Chestnut Street was clear, so she slapped the reins which made Gustaf come alive and swing out onto the street. "It's not far. I think I know that store… if it's the same Elf I'm thinking of, he's a sly fella. Let's find out."
Smiling for all she was worth, Lotta scooted across the bench seat and snuggled up next to Rocky's solid frame. "I truly appreciate your support, oh, dearest Rocky," she said into the nook of the driver's chin.
"Aw, you betcha."
Lotta grinned and snuggled down even further. "This is really nice… if only we had some hot-outta-the-oven tasty cookies, we'd be sharing a table with the Great Elf herself."
"Sugar plum mush! You can't…. just can't be hungry already, sweet Lotta!" Rocky said, staring wide-eyed at her petite sweetheart. "Not after two whole waffles that were trapped under a landslide of whipped cream…"
"But that was nearly half an hour ago…" Lotta said in a voice that proved she couldn't quite understand her dearest friend's logic.
Rocky snickered into her hand before she wrapped her free arm around Lotta's parka and pulled her even tighter. "Of course. What was I thinking?"
-*-*-*-
Around the town, the Elves who made up the population of Elf Springs were in the process of decorating everything they could get their Elfin hands on for the upcoming Season to be Jolly. All the town houses were lit up like Yuletide Eve had already arrived, but the Elves were merely testing their installations or their new multi-colored thingamajigs to see if they would work.
Lotta waved at everybody she knew on their drive through Elf Springs, but it was Rocky's turn to wave when they rode past the Hen's Teeth pub, her favorite haunt where she and her long-haul buddies would gather weekly to play a hand of Olsen. Just as Gustaf jingled past the establishment pulling the custom-built sleigh, Valdemar Elf hopped down from his delivery-sleigh that was heavily laden with Yuletide presents.
"Greetings, Valdemar!" Rocky cried, taking a hand off the reins to wave at her old friend.
Turning around, Valdemar Elf needed a moment to find the person who had called his name, but when the Elf elder spotted Rocky's sleigh, he waved back with great enthusiasm. "Greetings, Rocky! Miss Lotta!" he said, tipping his crimson rigid-cone hat. "Olsen tomorrow evening! And don't be late!" he shouted after his friend who turned around on the bench seat to give him a thumbs-up and another wave.
---
As Rocky and Lotta went past the frozen pond that doubled as an ice rink near the center of Elf Springs, a cheer rose from the crowd at an Elf who had just performed a triple-pirouette without falling on her tush. The Elf in question thanked the cheering spectators by skating backwards at high speed to give them another little thrill.
The cheers were so loud they drowned out the caroling Elves who were performing a free a capella concert next to the hot pancake concession cart. Lotta thought it might be the Seven Snowflakes Caroling Choir that had won the previous year's Amateur Elf Talent Show, but it was a different group of singers.
"Ohhhh!" Lotta said and wrapped herself closer around her dearest friend. "Isn't this just wonnn-derful? The Season to be Jolly is almost upon us, the weather is just the right amount of nippy-nosy, and we're out on a joyride together. Can the Elfin world get better than this?"
Rocky chuckled and leaned down to kiss the top of the midnight-blue parka though it didn't quite have the same effect as when she could kiss the flaming red hair. "Well, we could be sitting in front of the fireplace with a mug of Yule-tea or hot chocolate. Just you and me… and whipped cream."
"You sure know how to sweet-talk a lady-Elf, you big smoothie, you," Lotta said and broke out in a wild snicker. "So if I invited you home after our ride, you'd say yes?"
"Ohhhhh, yeah," Rocky answered in a dark, velvety timbre that made the corners of Lotta's mouth twitch. They locked eyes for a brief moment to send each other a message of love that was received loud and clear.
-*-*-*-
Pulling over to the curb on Lumpacoal Lane, Rocky eased off the reins and let them hang on the rail atop the buckboard. Up front, Gustaf brayed and shook his back, but he had hardly worked during the easy cruise around Elf Springs.
"Well, here we are," she said, studying the store they had stopped in front of. A large sign by the street proclaimed it to be Sorenius Elf's Quality Second-Hand Sleighs .
The building itself was an ungainly, square box that seemed to have been designed by the same Elves who had drawn the blueprints to Santa's Central Administration. The store housing Sorenius Elf's Quality Second-Hand Sleighs sported a flat roof, two vertical drain pipes and four visible windows, none of which were clean. The showroom had been pulled twenty feet back from the snow-covered sidewalk, and the space was filled by a row of spit-shined sleighs of varying vintage.
Lotta sat with her eyes wide open to take in the sights of the inventory the used-sleigh-salesman kept outside. She discarded most of the sleighs at first glance since they were four or even six-seater vehicles. Three others were delivery sleighs with a flat bed like Rocky's which wasn't what she was looking for either, but the last one in the row caught her eye.
"Oh," she squeaked, pointing a trembling finger at a two-seater runabout that had been painted in a fetching shade of red. The sleigh had shiny runners, a polished buckboard, and a thin, Yuletide-green stripe that swirled around through the red sections. "Look at that one," she breathed, almost hanging over the edge of Rocky's sleigh to get as close to the red one as she could.
"Lotta, please be careful," Rocky said and grabbed hold of Lotta's thick parka so she wouldn't fall off the sleigh and suffer an embarrassing - and painful - faceplant down on the snowy sidewalk.
"Uh-huh…"
"The red one caught your eye?"
"Uh-huh…"
"Well, let's check it out, then… can you get down by yourself?"
"Uh-huh… uh… what?" Lotta said and shot her sweetheart a confused look.
Rocky chuckled and scooted over to Lotta's side of the sleigh so she could help the severely smitten Elf down onto the sidewalk. "Never mind, sweet Lotta. I'll help you down."
"Uh-huh…"
Once her feet were firmly on the snowy sidewalk, Lotta kept staring at the red, two-seater runabout. It almost seemed to cry out to her like a wooden, shiny Siren, and she was powerless to stop her short legs from shuffling closer to it. They had barely made it there before a male-Elf stepped out of the store itself and came over to greet them.
"Greetings, Missies. I'm Sorenius Elf. Welcome to my store," the used-sleigh-salesman said, reaching out so he could clasp arms with the potential customers. In his late four-hundreds, Sorenius Elf had a look in his gray eyes that spelled out quite clearly that he never missed a beat when it came to making a deal. He was dressed in a dark-green outfit that was reminiscent of the garb worn by the long-haul sleigh drivers - a double-breasted jacket, straight-legged pants and black boots - and his red ascot was a good match to the color of his fiery locks and the meager, scraggly beard on his cheeks.
Clasping arms with the salesman, Rocky sized him up and understood at once they would need to be careful. She hadn't yet had time to inspect the sleigh that had Lotta in such a tizzy, and with the salesman there, she probably wouldn't be allowed to check it out to any degree. "Greetings," she said and added a little pressure to the Elf's arm. "I'm Rockabye Elf, and this is my dear friend Epilotta Elf."
"I see you've taken a shine to my little runabout?" Sorenius Elf said, pulling back his arm when Rocky allowed him to. Once he had it back, he had to massage the meaty part where Rocky's strong fingers had squeezed it. His wily face assumed a neutral expression so he wouldn't be seen to pressurize Lotta into making a hasty decision, but it was clear he was aiming for a quick sale.
"Mmmm," Rocky said, deciding on the spot to give as good as she got. If Sorenius Elf was that eager to sell the two-seater sleigh, there was a risk there was something wrong with it. "We just happened to drive past when the splash of color caught our eye."
Lotta turned around to correct her dearest friend - she still had the newspaper clipping in her liner pocket - but she closed her mouth again when she realized there was some kind of unsaid game going on between Sorenius Elf and Rocky. Furrowing her brow, she decided to let the others play any game they liked while she soaked up the prettiness of the sleigh.
"Yes, it's quite fetching. Excuse me," Sorenius said, walking over to Lotta to try his luck with the younger Elf compared to the more experienced, and more cynical, long-haul driver. "Greetings, I'm Sorenius Elf."
Common Elfin politeness demanded that Lotta folded down the hood of her parka and clasped arms with the other Elf, so she did. "Greetings, Mr. Sorenius, Sir. I'm Epilotta Elf."
"I know… your tall friend there told me already," Sorenius Elf said and turned his back on Rocky to focus his charm on the petite Elf. "Isn't it pretty? Surely it can't get any prettier than that… look at the way the Yuletide-green stripe swirls around the intricate details. Look at the way the curvature of the buckboard is integrated with the swoops of the main design… look at how-"
"Is that rust in the welded joints down there on the runners?" Rocky drawled, nudging the tip of her boot against the left-hand side runner. "Looks like rust to me. Then it can't be a stainless steel one. How old is this model?"
"Ah… well," Sorenius Elf said, pretending to bend down to look at the rust-brown spot like it was the first time he ever noticed it. "Oh, I'd need to look at the last inspection list to say for sure. Perhaps it is rust. It's a used sleigh after all. Now, Miss Epilotta, this runabout would be perfect for a pleasure cruise down to the ice rink, or perhaps when you need to visit your sweet, old parents. Can't you just imagine yourself sitting on that bench seat with the reins in your hand and the open road ahead of-"
"Speaking of which," Rocky interjected, giving the fur cover on the bench seat a couple of pats with the palm of her hand. Plenty of dust was kicked up, and she had to crinkle her nose so she wouldn't get a sneeze-attack. "It's kinda worn, huh? It feels a little uneven to me. Do you know if it's ever been patched?"
Sorenius Elf narrowed his eyes down into Elfin-gray slits, but the professional smile was soon back on his face. "Oh, I have so many used sleighs for sale I can't remember them all. I'd need to see the spec-sheet for those kinds of details, Miss Rockabye."
Rocky nodded and took a step back to give the salesman some room for his spiel. She shuffled down to the back of the runabout and cast a casual glance at how the rear-end had been put together. Viewed from the back, the two runners had a peculiar stance that proved it had been a while since they had been aligned. A bad stance would make it difficult for a reindeer to pull it, and there was also a risk the stressed side would collapse and lead to an accident.
All in all, there was no doubt the two-seater runabout was pretty with its red paint and the swirling, Yuletide-green go-faster stripes, but if a used-sleigh-salesman had spit-shined a vehicle to such an extent, it typically meant they were trying to hide something. Scrunching up her face, she sighed and looked up to lock eyes with her dearest friend.
Lotta already knew in her heart that the gorgeous, red sleigh was a bust, and Rocky's gloomy expression only confirmed it. "Wait, Mr. Sorenius… Sir, I think we need to stop here. Up close, it just doesn't capture my heart like it did from afar. I apologize for the inconvenience…"
"Uh… I see," Sorenius Elf said and shot a dark glare at Rocky who raised an equally dark eyebrow in return. "Well, that's what happens sometimes. If you drive by regularly, maybe some other sleigh will be the right one for you. Farewell, Miss Epilotta," Sorenius said, turned around and walked back to the store without even acknowledging Rocky's presence.
Lotta's jaw fell down to her chest at the complete lack of respect towards her dearest friend, and she could only roll her eyes. "Well, that was just rude of him! Sugar plum mush, I don't think I've ever seen an Elf act that rude to another Elf in my entire life. What is the Elfin world coming to…?" she mumbled on their way back to Rocky's far more solid sleigh.
"Sweet Lotta," Rocky said and shuffled up to stand in front of her sweetheart. "I hope you don't feel I butted in when I should have butted out?"
Lotta snickered into her hand at the colorful description, but she eventually shook her head. "No. There was too much wrong with it. But it was pretty, though… don't you think?" she said in a quiet voice while she toyed with the string for the parka's furlined hood.
"On a superficial level, it certainly was. Now we know what to look for… there's a super-neat runabout waiting for you out there somewhere, I'm sure of it," Rocky said and leaned down to offer her slightly depressed sweetheart a little pick-me-up-smooch.
"Mmmm…"
"You wanna stop at another dealership?"
"No, I need to give it some more thought. I think we should drive home, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and snuck a hand around the driver's waist. "You can light a fire while I put a couple of pre-fab cinnamon buns in the oven… and maybe cook up a pot of hot chocolate? And maybe make some whipped cream to go with it. Some Elfin good company and a little singing will make this sad, little Elf into a happy, little Elf in no time flat."
Grinning broadly, Rocky gave Lotta another smooch before she walked around the sleigh and climbed up onto the fur-covered bench seat. "Works for me, sweet Lotta," she said and let out a brief whoop.
After snickering into her hand at the success of her tactics of persuasion, Lotta paused for a moment to cast a final glance at the red, two-seater runabout that stood at the end of the line of second-hand sleighs. It was a pretty, little thing, but Rocky had been right. There was just too much wrong with it to be a viable vehicle for an inexperienced owner such as herself - even if she could easily imagine driving herself and her dearest friend out to the Kissing Tree for a little smooch or two.
Shrugging, Lotta climbed up into the sleigh and made herself comfortable. They would find a much better model at another dealership, of that she was certain - and she and Rocky would have an Elfin good time searching for one.
*
*
THE END of LITTLE RED RUNABOUT
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
3: "An Elf's Most Solemn Task"
CHAPTER 1
All of Elf Springs and most of the hinterland woke up to a collective squeal of delight when the Elves living there moved their bedroom curtains apart on the morning of December Nineteenth. The fierce winter storm that had howled around the corners of their Elfin houses for a good portion of the night had died down, but it had left a huge amount of snow on the ground as its parting gift.
It didn't take long for the population of the capital of the Elfin world to head outside to build snow-families or igloos, or to take full advantage of the snowy world by pleasure-skiing down the main streets and roads. Other Elves rounded up all their Elfin friends and engaged in raucous snowball-wars or Snow Elf competitions where the goal was to create the most gorgeous figures in the snow by lying down on their backs and flapping their arms all over the place - some even skipped breakfast to get a head start.
Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf couldn't be counted in the latter category; instead, she stood by her kitchen window watching the whiteness of the Elfin world outside. She could hardly keep the broad smile off her lips, but she needed to or else she would never be able to finish the well-buttered cinnamon bun she held in her left hand. The other hand was busy stirring a mug of steaming hot Yule-tea. She had bought a new blend that tasted of lemons, vanilla and a gentle touch of rum, and it had quickly turned into her new favorite.
The tea was still too hot to drink, but the buttered bun had already vanished like the morning dew in September. She stared at her empty hand for several seconds before she looked down on the floor to see if she had accidentally dropped the bun. The buttery, sugary residue on her fingers proved that she had eaten it whole instead, so she licked off her fingers and reached for her cookie tin to quench the little hunger that still remained inside her tummy.
After stuffing a handful of peppernuts into her mouth, she had barely closed the lid on the tin before her snow cone rang inside her living room. "Aaarfffmm!" she groaned, hurriedly putting the tin back on the shelf before she zipped out of the kitchen, into the living room and over to the sideboard where she had put the snow cone's base station.
'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!' a choir of young lady-Elves sang once more before Lotta had time to pick it up.
Though no Elf would ever speak through a mouthful of food or drink under regular circumstances, there were times when the old rule couldn't apply for practical reasons - and even though Lotta chewed the crunchy peppernuts double-quick to get everything down before she answered her snow cone, she quickly figured out it would stop ringing before she could gulp down the delicious cookies. Thus, she had to speak through them. Munch, munch - "Epilotta…" - munch, munch - "Elf…" - munch, munch - "speaking." - Munch, munch, gulp.
'Hello, Lotta, this is Trickamore Elf from across the street… may I come over and play with you?'
"Oh! You certainly may, Trixie!" Lotta said and shuffled back out into the kitchen. Pinning down the snow cone between her chin and her shoulder, she pulled the curtains further apart so she could look across Chestnut Street at her opposite neighbor. The young Trickamore Elf stood in her own kitchen window, and the two Elves waved at each other sporting similar grins.
'Oh, that's so neat! I just need to change, then I'll be there!"
"You're very welcome. My dear, dear friend Rockabye called me a little while ago to say she was coming over as well… she can't be far off. Why don't you zip over here in the meantime and we can share some peppernuts and a little Yule-tea while we wait for her?"
'Oh… you wouldn't mind having me there? I mean, with your lady-Elf-friend-'
"No! Of course not, Trickamore! The more the merrier! 'Tis the Season to be Jolly!"
'Thank you… I'll just get wrapped up warmly and I'll be over… bye!'
"Can't wait, Trixie! Bye-bye," Lotta said and pressed the little button to end the call. She couldn't be bothered to head into the living room to put the snow cone on the base station, so she left it on the kitchen table.
While she had spoken, her Yule-tea had reached just the right temperature, and she took several deep gulps to warm her insides before her entire Elfin being would be chilled out in the snow dodging the snowballs Trickamore and Rockabye were sure to hurl at her.
-*-*-*-
The morning after the big snowfall was quiet - too quiet. Nary a sound was heard in the bright-white world near Lotta's Pine Cone Villa. Nary a sound save for a hearty snickering that came from across the snow-covered lawn.
Inching upward, Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf peeked over the hill of snow she had scooped up in front of her. She was on her tummy, and the only visible parts of her were her Elfin-blue eyes, a few strands of dark hair, and her dark-gray, floppy Elf hat.
A snowball zinged through the air in her direction, but it went wide. She reached down to her own arsenal of white missiles and took one that was perfectly rounded. A red, rigid cone Elf hat moved back and forth, back and forth behind a hill of snow similar to her own twenty-five feet or so away from her fortification, and she pulled her arm back to aim for the red top. Releasing her load, the snowball zinged through the air and knocked the cone hat clean off the head of the carrier - namely one Epilotta Elf.
"Oooooh!" Lotta squealed, followed by another hearty snicker. One, two, three snowballs came flying back at Rocky's spot in the garden, but only one made it all the way there.
To glower, Rocky inched upward again to get another aim on her dearest friend, but she hadn't counted on Trickamore Elf who had built a similar snow-fort on her left. Rocky didn't even notice she was about to get nailed before a soft, round snowball hit her squarely on the side of her face and exploded in a flurry of white. Her floppy-cone Elf hat was flung around so the bobble fell into her eyes, and snow ended up everywhere. "Santa's Suspenders!" she howled, ducking down at once.
Now Lotta really squealed and took full advantage of the opportunity to release a volley of snowballs at not only Rocky but Trickamore as well. It was the call for all-out snow-warfare, and the air turned thick with balls that raced across the skies on perfect - or not-so-perfect - trajectories.
Everybody got their licks in, and everybody got nailed by the white, fluffy stuff. After a short while, Lotta had turned so snowy she resembled a polar bear, and Rocky and Trickamore weren't far off.
The cease-fire came in the shape of Lotta's snow cone ringing from inside the house. It rang twice before the excitable Elf understood that it was her own snow cone; leaning back on her thighs, she put her hands in the air to call for a time-out.
"Too late!" Rocky cried from the other side of the playing field. "Duck, sweet Lotta!"
"Where?" Lotta said, turning around to look for her next-door neighbor's pet duck that the elderly Elf usually took for a walk at that time of the morning. The game could turn hazardous if the web-footed bird had waddled into the war zone, but she couldn't see the animal anywhere.
Splatttt!
"Ohhhhhhhh!" Lotta howled, having been nailed dead-center by Rocky's perfect aim. As the snowball exploded in her face, she lost her hat all over again and was nearly thrown onto her tush by the impact. "Duck… I get it…" she croaked, wiping the white stuff out of her eyes, nose and mouth.
Rocky and the young Trickamore were at Lotta's side in no time flat and helped her get cleaned up. "Oh, sugar plum mush," Rocky said, scooping a large wad of snow out of her sweetheart's hair. "I'm so sorry, sweet Lotta… please forgive me."
Lotta did one better - squealing in glee, she grabbed Rocky around the waist and wrestled the larger long-haul sleigh-driver into the snow. The two lady-Elves howled with laughter as they rolled around and around in the bright-white stuff, sending up wild flurries that made it appear the fierce storm from last night had returned.
'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!' came loud and clear from the Pine Cone Villa.
Trickamore snickered into her hand at the unbridled display of love between her two friends, but she understood the ringing snow cone might be important, so she slipped inside the Pine Cone Villa and went on a search for the apparatus. Finally finding it in the kitchen, she pressed the little button and put it to her pointy ear. "Greetings, this is Epilotta Elf's snow cone… this is Trickamore Elf speaking," she said, strolling back to the front door in case the caller needed to speak to Rocky or Lotta.
Two steps later, she froze in place and nearly dropped the snow cone from her unresponsive hands. Gulping, she could only nod at the warm, friendly voice that spoke into her pointy ear. "All ri- ri- right… I'll fe- fe- fetch her at once, Si- Si- Sir," she croaked, hurrying back into the garden with an unreadable expression on her face.
"Lotta!" she shouted the moment she set her boot down on the creaking snow that covered the garden path. Hurrying around the corner of the house, she came to another hard stop when she realized she had caught her friends engaged in a passionate kiss down on the ground right in the middle of the snow.
Though Trickamore's cheeks turned Yuletide-red, she had to interrupt the tender scene. "Lotta," she croaked, finally catching the attention of the petite Elf. "It's… it's Santa!"
-*-*-*-
"Yes, Mr. Santa, Sir," Lotta said, using a towel to rub down her soaked hair. A long line of dripping wet clothes had been distributed between the doorway and the bed in her upstairs bedroom, and she was presently half-inside her wardrobe to find a dry outfit for the mission they were about to go on.
"Toy Factory Three in Snowyvale? As soon as possible? Yes, Mr. Santa, Sir," she said, finding a pair of wraparound schmutting pants, a double-breasted jacket, a green ascot and a red, floppy-cone Elf hat. The underwear was next, but that was in a different dresser-drawer, so she padded across her bedroom carpet on bare feet before she could find the appropriate clothing items. "A schmutting job… and we'll get the details when we meet you. Yes, Mr. Santa, Sir. Thank you, Mr. Santa, Sir. We won't be long. Goodbye, Mr. Santa, Sir."
Throwing the snow cone onto the bed, she finished rubbing off her pink, flushed skin before she hopped into her dry underwear and donned her new outfit. The wet clothes were quickly hung up to drip-dry in her upstairs mini-bathroom, and the wet spots on the floor where they had been were wiped down with a rag.
When she glanced at herself in the mirror on the wall, she exploded in a fit of anticipatory excitement. "Ooooooooooooooooooh! We're gonna see Santa!" she howled, dancing across her bedroom carpet in a near-perfect version of the Elfin Boogie.
---
Trickamore and Rocky were in the kitchen enjoying a mug of warm Yule-tea when Lotta came bounding down the stairs. The young Trickamore had zipped home for a brief moment to change her own, soaked clothes - she now wore clog-boots, knee-high socks and a traditional, Yuletide-red, wide-strapped dress over a pale-gray shirt, and Rocky had changed into a dry outfit that she kept in a closet in Lotta's basement for just such an occasion. Their wet clothes had been put in Lotta's downstairs bathroom for drip-drying.
"We're off to see Santa, Rocky!" Lotta cried before she had even made it fully into the kitchen. "In Toy Factory Three down in Snowyvale. As soon as possible. It's a schmutting job, and we'll hear all about it when we get there!"
"Works for me," Rocky said and put her mug into the sink. Turning around, she clasped arms with Trickamore and ended up giving the young Elf a little hug. "Thanks for the awesome snowball fight, Trixie. It was really, really fun."
"Yes it was, Miss Rockabye… please allow me to wish you the Elfin best of luck with your mission," Trickamore said and waved at Lotta who promptly waved back.
"Oh! Wait!" Lotta said just as Trickamore opened the front door to go home. "Trixie, are you doing anything on the day after the Night of Nights? Rocky and me are holding a little post-Yuletide bash in the afternoon of the twenty-fifth 'cos we have to work through the night… Mammi and Pappi will be there and-"
"Oh, Great Elf, I would have loved to, but I can't, Lotta… I already have plans," Trickamore said and shuffled around on the spot. A new blush tainted her cheeks, and she let out an embarrassed little giggle. "I have a date with a dashing and oh-so-cute Elf," she mumbled, unable to hold the warm, Elfin-green gaze of her neighbor.
"Awww, that's so sweet, Trixie! Maybe some other time, then?"
"Definitely. Bye-bye, Lotta… bye, Miss Rockabye!" Trickamore said and shuffled out of the front door.
Once Trickamore Elf had gone back to her own house across the street, Rocky and Lotta did the dishes before they went on their merry way down south to Snowyvale, to Toy Factory Three - and Santa.
-*-*-*-
The flight to Toy Factory Three near Snowyvale, Greenland, was uneventful save for a minor drama that occurred right at the end when Rocky brought their sleigh around to enter the hangar. As always, an artificial blizzard raged outside the factory to keep it a secret from the Human world's prying eyes, but it was more than the bindings for Lotta's old snow goggles could handle. They snapped, the goggles blew off, and she got another faceful of the wet, white stuff before she could dive down behind the buckboard.
Their reindeer for the schmutting job were the big, strong Sammi-Sima and the inexperienced Gustaf, and the two beasts of burden worked far better together than had been the case when Gustaf had been teamed up with Wellokesso on their trip to the Alps.
While Lotta set the tone upon final approach by belting out an Elfin-soul-stirring rendition of Hark! The Herald Elves Sing, Rocky put down the stainless steel runners of her custom-built sleigh in a perfect spread on either side of the centerline of the hangar's landing strip. The two reindeer up front soon slowed down to regular walking speed, and she steered them off the runway and into the staging area at the end of the vast building.
So close to the Night of Nights, it was no surprise to the experienced long-haul sleigh-driver - or even to the somewhat inexperienced gift-dropper next to her - that the place was bustling with activity. At the loading bays, a myriad of shunter-Elves moved carts heavily laden with wrapped presents from the assembly lines and onto the waiting sleighs. As soon as a sleigh was fully loaded, the driver was sent off to the taxi-way to get in line for take-off.
Other Elves worked on the reindeer that came back from flights: minder-Elves made sure they were given fresh water and feed, groomer-Elves went to work on keeping their furs and antlers shiny and healthy, veterinarian-Elves gave the beasts of burden a thorough check to see if they could go on another round-trip right away or if they needed to be pulled off the roster, and two blacksmith-Elves checked the sleighs, the harnesses and the yokes for wear and tear. At the end of the line - literally - a group of junior-Elves wearing green ascots, and carrying wide shovels and deep canvas bags waited for their moment to shine. They were the pooper scooper-Elves, and everybody gave them a wide berth.
"Oh, lookie there… it's old Knarli Elf! Looking as craggy as ever, yessir," Rocky said and waved at the grumpy, old loadmaster who waved back with nary a smile on his lips.
"Oh, by the Great Elf… not Knarli Elf… not today," Lotta mumbled, trying to keep out of sight of the Elf elder who could always find some nasty way to reprimand her for missing minor details. Since she was already down in the footwell, she thought she stood a good chance of remaining undetected.
Chuckling, Rocky tugged at the reins which brought the sleigh to a halt near the double-doors that led to the rest of the toy factory. To get their special A-Team hats, she got up and opened the bench seat. "Sweet Lotta, why don't you jump off and get a head start? I'll park the sleigh and meet you in the cafeteria in a short while," she said as she handed her sweetheart her A-Team Elf hat with the golden bobble.
"Sounds like a plan, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and climbed out of the footwell so she could lean over to place a peck on Rocky's cheek. Before her lips had time to connect with the driver's smooth, bronzed skin, a gruff voice cut through the air:
"Rockabye Elf, you can't park there! Get on down the line with the others!"
Jumping up, Lotta whipped her head around though she already knew the identity of the Elf who had spoken - Knarli Elf, the no-nonsense loadmaster whose motto was 'Laughter is serious business,' stood not ten feet from her, holding his indispensable clipboard in his gnarled hands while looking more than a little surly.
Clenching her prized A-Team hat, Lotta ducked her head down between her shoulders and took off in an almighty hurry. She didn't stop running until she reached the double-doors, but when she discovered Knarli Elf was still looking in her direction, she took off again and ran into the factory itself.
-*-*-*-
The fright had been bad enough for the petite Lotta to latch onto the tail-end of the hugely long line in the Elfin cafeteria to get something to eat so her frazzled nerves would calm down. The sweet smell of the dish of the day convinced her to remain there: a bowl of extra-extra-creamy rice pudding that not only had chipped almonds in it, but a sea of whole-berry cherry sauce on top.
Unlike the regular rice pudding that was served steaming hot with a healthy sprinkling of cinnamon and a pool of melted butter, the extra-extra-creamy variation was served cold, and it was one of Mrs. Santa's numerous award-winning recipes.
The Elfin community had been skeptical when she had first introduced the dish - after all, it was sacrilege to mess with their beloved rice pudding - but their reluctance had only lasted until the first spoonful. In the period following the introduction, it had become one of the Elves' favorite Yuletide dishes, and it was typically served after the main course on Yuletide Eve.
A clever Elf had improved the dish by sneaking a whole almond into the extra-extra-creamy pudding in order to give his lady-Elf-friend a special treat, and the new variation had caught on - thus, the kitchen staff-Elves would randomly sneak a whole almond into a few of the many bowls of pudding they handed out during the days where it was the Plate du Jour .
Lotta almost drooled when she saw how the Elves ahead of her in the line each received a large bowlful of the delicious dessert, but she managed to keep everything inside. Finally reaching the rack with the clean bowls, she snatched one and kept it close to her heart.
Unfortunately, she ended up two Elves short. Moments before it would have been her turn to get a large bowlful of extra-extra-creamy rice pudding and a glob of whole-berry cherry sauce, the kitchen staff-Elves pulled back from the pots and pans at the buffet line and began to wave their hats in the air while letting out jubilant cheers.
"Whut?! Wait… I didn't… wait! Wait, I didn't get a- oh, sugar plum mush!" Lotta growled, shooting Elfin-green glares at the lids that were put on the pots.
All around her, the worker-Elves in the cafeteria began to whoop and cheer, and most waved their hats like the kitchen staff had done. Commotion at the door was the first clue something big was about to happen, and a rumbling "Ho-ho-ho!" that cut through the air provided the second and final one.
The Human known as the Man with the Bag, the Yuleman, Jultomten, Julemanden and a hundred other titles and monikers stepped into the cafeteria and waved at the assembled Elves. Santa looked to be in his usual jolly-good mood, and he wore his traditional outfit that consisted of black boots, Yuletide-red pants, a Yuletide-red jacket with white, furry highlights, white gloves and finally a Yuletide-red Elf hat with a white bobble at the end of the floppy cone that came down to his right shoulder.
At the buffet line, Lotta clutched her empty bowl and tried hard to keep her emotions - and her trembling chin - in check. Turning to the kitchen staff-Elves, she leaned forward to show her Elfin-soulful sincerity. "But I didn't get my extra-extra-creamy rice pudding… there must be something you can do… please? Can't you just… oh… I know that Santa is… but I didn't get my extra-extra-creamy rice pudding! No, listen… I'm serious! Please! I- I- just wan- want my…"
"Greetings, my friends!" Santa said, holding his hands in the air to get the Elves to settle down and return to whatever they had been doing before he had arrived. Just when a modicum of peace had been restored to the cafeteria, a fair voice let rip in a screeching tone that nearly brought down the rafters:
"I didden get mah bowl-a rice puddin'!"
Several pins could be heard dropped on the smooth floor in the embarrassing wake of the outburst. The Elves present just sort-of shuffled back and forth like Elves were prone to do in awkward situations, but Santa just chuckled into his full, white beard.
"Oh, Lotta," Rocky mumbled, slapping her hand across her face. She had entered the cafeteria behind Santa just in time to hear the outburst, and there was no doubt in her mind that it had been her sweetheart's voice that had delivered the message.
Chuckling once more, Santa waved at the other member of his A-Team whose Yuletide-red cheeks were on the brink of exploding. "If there's one thing I've learned," the big man said, making a sweeping gesture at the free buffet, "it's not to stand between an Elf and rice pudding. Go ahead, my dear friend… enjoy your bowl of pudding."
A squeaked "Thank you, Mr. Santa, Sir," could be heard from Lotta's side of the cafeteria, but it was soon drowned out by the typical din and murmurs that rose once more.
---
"Ah, there you are, Miss Epilotta," Santa said, pushing aside a few napkins on the table he and Rocky were sitting at so Lotta had space to put down her bowl of extra-extra-creamy rice pudding, a small glass of port, and a mug of sweet white ale. Unlike at the Central Administration near Elf Springs, Santa didn't have a dedicated office in Toy Factory Three, so all his business meetings were conducted in the cafeteria or in the hangar itself.
The table had been built for Elves, not Human-sized people, so his legs wouldn't fit under the tabletop, but he sat at a crooked angle so he could still look at the Elves he was speaking to.
Rocky had snatched a big slice of gingerbread from the storage area below the fur-covered seat when she had left the sleigh down in the hangar, so she was munching as well. She smiled at her sweetheart when the petite Elf sat down on her left and dug into the extra-extra-creamy rice pudding. The sea of whole-berry cherry sauce on top looked delicious, and judging by the sounds that came from Lotta's throat as she ate, it tasted just as wonderful as it looked.
"Mr. Santa, Sir," Lotta said between spoonfuls, "I just want to apologize for my-"
"Oh, think nothing of it," Santa said and waved his hand. "All right. Let's get down to business. Miss Rockabye, Miss Epilotta, I called you in to inform you that you're to go on a schmutting job with me this afternoon. The Home Away From Home , a relief care home for children who've had a troubled life, has hired Yours Truly to provide some amusement for the kids. Now, I do believe the administrator doesn't know that she contacted the real deal, so to speak, so we might as well get the most out of it."
"Yes, Mr. Santa, Sir," Rocky and Lotta said as one. When they realized they had spoken at the same time, they turned to each other and stuck out their tongues.
Santa chuckled at the little scene but knew better than to make a comment. "Therefore, we're going to bring an additional sleigh-ful of presents. And that's where my A-Team comes in, Miss Rockabye, Miss Epilotta. While I entertain the children in the lobby where the administrator has promised to set up a Wishing Chair, I want you to schmut around the upper floors of the relief care home and drop off the presents."
Rocky and Lotta looked at each other again and performed similar nods. "It would be our honor, Mr. Santa, Sir," Rocky said before stuffing an entire corner of her juicy gingerbread into her yap. The layer of chocolate crunched as she bit into it, drawing a longing gaze from Epilotta.
"Mmmm. Bringing hope and joy to children in need is an Elf's most solemn task, after all," Santa said, eyeing his A-Team. "Especially so in this situation since these young people have all had troubled childhoods. Some are very sensitive, some are angry, some don't even believe in us because they've been disappointed too often by the false promises given to them by their parents… but we shall never turn our backs on any of them."
Lotta's chin began to tremble again upon hearing Santa's words. For Elves, the family unit was the most important thing in the entire Elfin world, and just the thought that some Humans had no love for their children was enough to make the corners of her mouth travel south. "We'll do our very best, Mr. Santa, Sir," she said, holding the spoon near the final bite of her extra-extra-creamy rice pudding.
"I know you will, Miss Epilotta. All right, let's get to it," Santa said and moved to get up.
Lotta wanted to have the final spoonful before she would say goodbye to the Yuleman , so she stuffed it into her mouth in a hurry. Much to her surprise, the final spoonful was revealed to hold something she couldn't recognize at first, but that her tongue quickly discovered was a whole almond. "Mmmmhh!" she said around the nut, the whole-berry cherry sauce and the remains of the rice pudding. After munching on the load in a hurry so she wouldn't appear disrespectful towards Santa, she squeezed out the almond between her lips before swallowing the rest of it. "I got the almond! Imagine that…" she said, looking at the nut while she licked her lips to get the rich, sweet taste from the last, few droplets of the sauce.
"Congratulations. Here's the prize, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and reached around the table to place a loving smooch on Lotta's cheek - much to Santa's apparent joy.
-*-*-*-
After stocking up their in-flight snacks from the free buffet - and visiting the little Elf's room - Rocky and Lotta walked hand in hand along the endless corridors to get back up to the hangar.
In the mood for some mischief, Lotta began to hop, skip and jump through an imaginary pattern on the floor just to see what Rocky would do. Two Elves could play that game, so Rocky stuck out her tongue before she hopped, skipped and jumped alongside her sweetheart. Laughing, they finished off their little game by giving each other a sideways hug.
"Oh, this is going to be a very, very special assignment… maybe the most important one we've ever been on… don't you think, Rocky?" Lotta said, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth.
"Yep."
"It just breaks my little, Elfin heart to hear that the Humans can be so… ugh… casual about their children. Why do you think that is, dearest Rocky?"
"You're asking me? I have no idea. But I do know they don't need any excuses. They're Humans. That's more than enough."
"Oh, Rocky…"
"You asked me my opinion, sweet Lotta."
Smirking, Lotta offered her dearest friend a sideways glance. Rockabye Elf's stance on the, quote, aggressive, polluting, short-sighted, self-centered Human species, unquote, was well-known, and unlikely to change any time soon. "I s'pose I did… oh, let's change the subject. Did you write your Dearest Santa letter yet?"
"I did that weeks ago," Rocky said and shot Lotta a little wink.
"And…?"
"That's for Santa's eyes only!"
Lotta stuck out her tongue and snuggled up to Rocky as they kept walking through the endless corridors. "My parents can't wait to finally get to spend an entire afternoon and evening with you. Every time we've all met so far, it's only been short visits. Mammi is so giddy and excited about seeing you she makes me pale in comparison…"
"Huh!" Rocky said and broke out in a snicker that earned her a nudging elbow in the side.
They didn't want to keep Santa waiting for too long so they upped their pace to get to the hangar in time, but when they swung open the double-doors to enter the vast hall, Lotta came to a dead stop and promptly lost her jaw. "Orv, manner! Se lige dér! Nøjjjjj, hvor er den altså bare flååååt," she uttered in the special, south-west Elf dialect that her mother had tried to teach her for several years with little apparent success. "Wouldya look at that!" she continued in regular Elfish, pointing out the item that Rocky could not possibly miss.
"I see it, awright. Santa's sleigh. Ain't it neat? It's certainly an impressive sight," Rocky said, holding the bags of supplies they had been given in the cafeteria. Stepping aside, she made way for Lotta who was bound to zip closer to the object of her attention to get a better view. When it didn't happen, Rocky grinned at the gobsmacked look on the younger Elf's face. "I think Santa wouldn't mind if you freaked out a little, sweet Lotta…"
"Uh-huh? Oh, I just gotta… I'll be back!" Lotta said and tore away from the double-doors. She hopped down from the concrete loading platform and zipped across the hangar floor the fastest her short legs would allow. The heap of Elves who fawned over Santa didn't interest her; moving past the excited Elves, she went up to the head of the line and came to a skidding halt on the smooth floor.
There he was - Rudolf. And not only him, but the entire eight-deer strong elite cadre of reindeer that had exclusive rights to pull Santa's sleigh 'till just about the end of time. "Rudolf… the original red-nosed reindeer," Lotta breathed, inching closer to the legendary beast of burden. Stretching out her short arm, she stroked the reindeer's flank. It responded by braying and leaning into her touch like it welcomed it. "And Dancer… and Prancer… and Donner… and Blitzen… and Comet… and Cupid… and Vixen… huh, Dasher must be sleeping it off or something… but never mind that now! Ohhhhhh, Great Elf! I've died and gone to Elfin heaven!"
One of the specially trained minder-Elves who was working exclusively on Santa's reindeer hustled over to Rudolf to make the petite Elf step back, but when he spotted the golden bobble at the tip of the Elf's floppy hat, he withdrew and went back to the sleigh itself.
After Rocky had deposited the in-flight snacks into the storage area underneath the bench seat of her own custom-built sleigh, she came shuffling over to the elite reindeer and wrapped her arms around Lotta's body. The petite Elf was thrumming with energy, and the long-haul sleigh-driver didn't need to have it spelled out to know that her sweetheart was on the brink of exploding from excitement.
Rudolf, Prancer and a couple of the other well-known reindeer found the two Elves watching them highly interesting, and they brayed and nodded their heads at the attention. Donner even winked at Lotta who winked back at once.
"I can't believe it, Rocky," Lotta breathed. "I can't believe we're actually going to fly with Rudolf and Cupid and Blitzen and-and-and… the rest! Aw, we haven't even seen them since last Yuletide Eve, and even then, we only had very little to do with them! Look at this now, Rocky!"
Leaning down, Rocky mussed her lips against Lotta's hair. The moment was too good to miss, so she placed a few kisses on the flaming red locks. "I see it, sweet Lotta," she whispered.
"I've been hearing about Rudolf the Original Red-Nosed Reindeer since I was an itty-bitty-little Elf… and now I'm working with him! Aw, this is so… so… so… corn-on-a-cob, I can't even find the words! This is the magic of the Yuletide right here," Lotta said and shook her head.
"You're right. There's magic in the air," Rocky continued in a whisper. Kissing Lotta's pointy, left ear, she decided on the spot to tease her sweetheart a little, so she moved the long, red locks away from the skin and blew a gust of warm air onto the exposed neck.
Lotta squirmed and let out a hearty snicker that caught the attention of Santa and all the onlooker-Elves. Sticking out her tongue at the gawking Elves, she snickered again and took a long step away from Rocky's mouth in case the long-haul sleigh-driver would come back for a second helping.
Behind the two Elves, the group of onlooker-Elves who had been fawning over Santa dispersed when the Yuleman greeted them farewell so he and his A-Team could get on with the program. As the group of Elves thinned out and the sleigh came into sight, it was revealed to be one of the most imposing vehicles in existence. Held mostly in gold and Yuletide-red, the Human-sized sleigh had wooden runners, an elaborately designed buckboard, two rows of fur-covered bench seats, a long flatbed at the back, and a heavy-duty yoke up front to control the forces of the eight-in-hand - at present, the renowned Bag of Gifts took up most of the space on the flatbed.
---
Down at the back of the loading bay, the loadmaster Knarli Elf ran himself ragged to get all the shunter-Elves working again instead of spending their time gawking at Santa and the eye-catching sleigh, but he had little success. A long line of empty sleighs had pulled up to the loading bay, but all the pre-wrapped gifts stood idly by on the concrete platform while the shunter-Elves were busy with the spectacle down on the hangar floor.
Knarli Elf finally reached his limit. Jumping off the edge of the loading bay, he hurried over to Santa's sleigh to inform the Yuleman of the foul-up. "Mr. Santa, Sir," he said as he stuffed his indispensable clipboard under his other arm, "I must make it known to you and the central administration that my shunter-Elves have been severely lax performing their duties tonight. Because of the commotion surrounding your sleigh, no less than twelve local and international hauls have been left unserviced! We're backed-up for longer than my load-timing-sheet will allow me to enter… look! Mr. Santa, sir… I'm the senior load supervisor, but I have no loads to supervise!"
Santa chuckled into his full beard as he studied the red face of the irate Elf. Knarli Elf was hardly ever in a mood that could be categorized as anything less than surly - or even stormy - but his present mood certainly took the cake. "Very well, Mr. Knarli," Santa said, stepping away from the exquisite vehicle. "Is my A-Team's sleigh ready?"
"It is not, Mr. Santa, Sir," Knarli said; his voice reaching into an even surlier register than usual.
"Ah… that's unfortunate. All right, we better make hay while the sun is high in the sky. Mr. Knarli, please see to it that your shunter-Elves understand that it's time to get back to work. We can't let the children wait for too long."
"We certainly can't, Mr. Santa, Sir," Knarli Elf said and performed a slight bow at the Yuleman . After stomping back to the loading platforms, the angry Elf soon made his presence felt in a way that convinced his worker-Elves that it was probably a good time to begin working again - and on the double.
The gruff voice echoed through the vast hall sounding like a hacksaw on metal, and Lotta cringed for each syllable that came out of Knarli Elf's mouth. "Oh, I really don't like that Elf," she mumbled to Rocky. "He just doesn't understand the concept of politeness…"
"Well, he's got a tough job, but… you're right. He doesn't," Rocky said with a grin. "So… while we wait for the sleighs to be loaded, do you feel like playing a hand of Olsen, or some such? There's a solid playing table over yonder that we can use."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And you already know it."
"Uh… how so?"
"Well," Rocky said and took Lotta by the shoulders to guide her away from Rudolf and the other elite reindeer. " 'Cos that's where we first met," she continued, pointing at the round playing table that had been a witness to the very first meeting between the experienced long-haul sleigh-driver Rockabye Elf and the fresh-faced rookie Epilotta Elf whose schmutting uniform had been so new - not to mention squeaky clean - it was a marvel it could even bend at the elbows and knees.
"Oh!" Lotta cried, jumping up and clapping her hands in glee.
"Is that a yes, sweet Lotta?"
"It certainly is, dearest Rocky. You know I can't play Olsen worth a hoot, but it hasn't stopped me yet… and this is a special occasion," Lotta said and strolled closer to the round playing table.
---
Once Lotta had cleared the mess off the playing table and into a nearby trash can - two empty, non-recyclable bottles of sweet white ale and a whole load of candy wrappers and spent lollipop-sticks on a tray - she put the empty glass candy-tray back into the center of the table so it was ready for the next round of lollipops or candy bars. "Oh… do we even have a deck of cards?" she said as she found two chairs and pulled them over to the table.
"We do indeed. I never leave home without one," Rocky said and patted her pocket. Digging into it, she produced the deck she and her long-haul buddies always used when they had a moment of downtime between loads. She grinned at her sweetheart as she sat down and began shuffling the deck. "So. The game is Olsen, and the winner takes all. I have dibs on the awesomely cute, li'l redheaded Elf sitting opposite me."
"Oh, Rocky!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand. When Rocky dealt the five cards needed to play Olsen, she picked them up one by one and put them into something resembling an order.
With the active pile full and the reject pile empty save for one card, it was Lotta's task to open the game. The card on the reject pile had been flipped, and it was revealed to be the nine of clubs. Furrowing her brow, she eyed her own cards. She had a five of clubs, which was a good opening to the game. Re-assessing the nine of clubs at the center of the table, she let her Elfin-green eye glide back down to the five again before she began reaching for it.
"ZZZzzzzz…" Rocky said, smacking her lips a couple of times to show that she had nearly fallen asleep.
"Well, excuse me for being careful, Missy Elf!" Lotta said, putting the five of clubs on the reject pile on top of the nine.
Rocky grinned and put down a three of clubs right away.
Lotta's jaw became tight at the stressful situation, and her eyes zipped back down to her hand. She kept licking her lips until she found a three of diamonds that would match the card already on the table. Smiling, she put it on the reject pile, but the smile melted away when it only took the experienced Rocky oh-point-two of a second to put down a jack of diamonds.
Her eyes fell down to the cards in her hand, but she had neither jacks nor diamonds. Scrunching up her face, she reached for the active pile and took the top card instead. A six of spades, which was of no use to her. "Pass," she said, waiting for Rocky's inevitable move.
---
Later on, two pairs of Elfin eyes observed their playing partner over the rim of their cards. Each player only had two cards left, so it was down to crunch-time with regards to the hand. If Lotta could find just a little good fortune, it would be her first winning hand; if Rocky continued her streak of success, it would be her sixth winning hand in a row.
The king of hearts was face-up on the pile, and Lotta's eyes slid down to her own king of spades. She tried to keep the excitement off her face, but it was hard going. Her last remaining card was the jack of spades, so if Rocky would match the king with another spade, it would be Lotta's hand. However, if Rocky had a king in a different suit, it would most likely be Rocky's hand - again.
Taking a deep breath, Lotta reached for her king of spades and put it on the pile. She looked up at once with bated breath.
Rocky paused. Chewing on her lips, she eyed her cards, then Lotta, then her cards once more. Grunting, she pulled the second-to-last card out of her hand and put it on the pile - it was the four of spades.
Fireworks went off in Lotta's mind at the almost impossible turn of events. There she was, oh-so-close to finally winning a hand against her formidable opponent, the card sharp Rockabye Elf. With trembling earlobes, she put down her last remaining card, the jack of spades.
When Rocky admitted defeat by letting out a warm chuckle and throwing down her last card, the seven of hearts, Lotta exploded in a mad rush of emotions. Jumping up from the chair - that was knocked backwards and onto the floor - the petite Elf hopped and danced around the playing table.
"Ooooh-hooh! Yooo-hoo-hooo! Aw yeah! Ha-ha-he-he-hu-hu-hey-hey-I-won-the-hand-ey-ey-ey!" she cried, doing several manic laps of the table in a blurry circle before she went into a big production number of various Elf-party dances, like the Frog, the Donkey, and even the Wacky Wabbit - crouch down, hands up, wiggle your tush and hop, hop, hop.
Rocky had but a single course of action available to her: she leaned her head back and let out a resounding belly laugh that attracted the attention of nearly every Elf who were within earshot. She continued to laugh as she scooped up the cards and began to shuffle them for their next round.
While shuffling the deck like a crazed mountain hare to give herself a better hand, Rocky noticed a young lady-Elf standing a short distance away from the table. The Elf's eyes were wide and round from looking at the dancing Elf, and she clutched a book of some kind to her chest. She wore brown clog-boots, a traditional red-and-green Elfin dress with an integrated white apron, and finally a white bonnet that sat a little crooked like she had slapped it on in a hurry.
It was clear the young lady-Elf wanted something from either Rocky or Lotta, so Rocky put down the cards she had been shuffling to wave her over. "Greetings, Miss Elf. Don't be alarmed by my dearest friend. She just won a hand in Olsen."
"Greetings. Uh… I see," the young lady-Elf squeaked.
"What do you have there?" Rocky said, pointing at the book the Elf clutched to her chest.
The young lady-Elf looked down at her book like she had forgotten all about it in the excitement. "Oh… it's my autograph book. I work up in accounting, and I heard that… that Santa's A-Team would be here. You are Santa's A-Team, aren't you?"
"We sure are. Hang on a moment," Rocky said and got up from the chair. It took her a few seconds to capture the wildly dancing Lotta - who had just set a new Elfin-world record for the number of hip-gyrations using an invisible hula-hoop in one go - but she put an effective end to the exuberance by pulling her into a strong hug and delivering an equally strong kiss to the excited lips. "Sweet Lotta…?"
"Mmmm-yeah?" Lotta said, mellowing out at once.
"There's a very nice young lady-Elf here to see us. She would like our autographs. Can you sit for long enough to write your name?"
"Uh-huh…"
"Good. C'mon," Rocky said and led the excited Elf back to the table. Pulling up Lotta's chair from where it had fallen onto the floor, she helped the redhead down onto it and waved the young lady-Elf over. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name…?"
"Luna-Marie Elf," the young lady-Elf said, holding out her autograph book and a deliberately dull pencil that wouldn't tear the pages no matter how hard the Elf in question would press it down.
Lotta grinned at the unexpected attention and wrote her name on the first blank page she found. "To Luna-Marie Elf. From Epilotta Elf, with plenty of Elfin love," she mumbled as she wrote. "May the Great Elf bestow you all the Elfin good fortune you could wish for," she continued, writing the long sentence at the bottom of the page. She finished off the entry by drawing a little Yuletide woven heart.
"Aw, thank you so much, Miss Epilotta!" Luna-Marie Elf squeaked, pushing her autograph book and the pencil over to Rocky with a trembling hand.
Rocky was of a less poetic nature, so she didn't write any flowery message, but she did draw a miniature sleigh, two reindeer and two tiny Elves in addition to scribbling her name. "Here you go, Miss Luna-Marie," she said and returned the book and the pencil to the young lady-Elf.
"Oh, Great Elf, thank you, Miss Rockabye… thank you both!" Luna-Marie Elf said, closing the autograph book and clutching it to her heart. Curtseying like her mother had taught her, she spun around and hurried away from Santa's A-Team like her courage had finally deserted her.
Lotta tracked the young lady-Elf running away until the double-doors closed behind her. "Aw, that was so much fun… cotton-candy, I could get used to that. I fondly remember being such a young and starry-eyed Elf…"
"Well, you oughtta," Rocky drawled, waiting for Lotta to react before she zapped her with the punch line. "After all, it was just last week."
Lotta had already opened her mouth to go on, but Rocky's offhand comment made her break out in a snicker instead.
The speakers connected to the hangar's public announcement system suddenly squawked to life, and a voice belonging to a male-Elf echoed through the vast halls: 'Miss Rockabye Elf and Miss Epilotta Elf, please report to Knarli Elf at the loading bay. Miss Rockabye Elf and Miss Epilotta Elf, please report to Knarli Elf at the loading bay… your sleigh is ready.'
"About time," Rocky said as she sorted the deck of cards and put it into her jacket pocket. Getting up, she was already on her way back to the loading ramps when she noticed that Lotta hadn't left the playing table yet. "Hey… you coming or what?"
Lotta grimaced and pushed herself away from the table. "Loading bay fine… important job super-fine… Knarli Elf less fine… oh, he'll give me an earful, I just know he will… would it be too late to call in sick?"
"I think it would, yeah," Rocky said and snickered into her hand.
Lotta let out a sigh that sounded like the weight of the Elfin world was on her petite shoulders. Sighing again, she put one foot ahead of the other in a non-stop sequence of events known as 'Walking to an Elf's Doom.'
-*-*-*-
There were times in a lady-Elf's life where a well-buttered raisin or cinnamon bun would spring into action as a life-preserver. Though Elves should never be comfort-eating, a fresh bun would do wonders on an Elfin mood that had already sunk through the floorboards. Epilotta Elf was in such a state after having her tush chewed-out royally by the grouchy loadmaster just because she couldn't remember the correct answer to a sneaky question.
Lotta was huddled up on the fur-covered bench seat of Rocky's custom-built sleigh. The corners of her mouth were pointed due south, and it was only because she was eating a delicious bun with plenty of juicy raisins that she was even upright. On the plus side, the small jar of strawberry jam that Rocky had found in the cafeteria had been put to good use, and the delightful smell of pureed strawberries did all it could to cheer her up.
She snapped out of her thousand-league stare when Rocky climbed up into the sleigh and got comfortable next to her on the bench seat. Smiling listlessly at her dearest friend, Lotta took another bite out of the raisin bun and began to chew on it in a slow, detached fashion.
"Cheer up, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and reached over to caress her sweetheart's thigh. "It wasn't that much of a tickle-monster, was it?"
"Yes it was," Lotta mumbled.
"All right, maybe it was…" Rocky said and grimaced at the mental image playing inside her mind of the irate Knarli Elf and his endless, heated tirade against her dearest friend, "but look on the bright side. We're about to go on a schmutting job… with Santa! Isn't that just sweeter than a candy apple?"
Nodding, Lotta let out a small chuckle.
"Mmmm?"
The inevitable genuine smile finally broke through the brick wall that had fallen into place around Lotta's soul, and she looked up to lock eyes with her dearest friend. "I guess it is. Thank you for trying to defend me…"
"Oh, you're very welcome. Not that it did much good, but… you know. I couldn't let old Knarli Elf steamroller you like that without putting up a fight."
"You want a bite of my bun?" Lotta said and held up her well-buttered snack. "The strawberry jam you found is really, really yummy…"
"That's great, but I don't think we have time for eating now, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and pointed at the eight elite reindeer that had already begun pulling Santa's sleigh around the hangar.
Squeaking, Lotta chowed down the final bites of the bun so Santa wouldn't get the impression that she didn't have her mind on the job at hand. Unfortunately, in her haste to get everything down, she tilted the bun which sent the runny strawberry puree over the edge and down between her short fingers. "Ohhhhhhh," she howled, trying to lick her fingers clean of the sticky stuff. "Napkin? Do we have a napkin? Rocky, I need a napkin!"
Rocky chuckled and stood up so Lotta could look into the storage area below the bench seat.
Lotta hurriedly sent a few kissies at her dearest friend before she dove into the storage and began to rummage through everything she found down there. It wasn't easy when she could only use one hand, but even if she'd had three, four or five, her search wouldn't have been fruitful. "Buns, gingerbread, crullers, cookies, more cookies, more buns, a Welch bread, vanilla crescents, apricot dumplings, the jar of strawberry jam, more buns, more cookies, a deer-skin glove, Rocky's snow goggles, the jingle-stick, another pack of gingerbread, the second deer-skin glove, a pack of raspberry tarts, a sponge cake, more buns, two empty bottles of sweet white ale… what in the Elfin world?! Oh, two full bottles of sweet white ale… phew, I was worried there for a moment… uh… the first thermos of hot Yule-tea… and the second thermos. No napkins. Not even a snippet of a napkin. Not even a used snippet of a napkin. Not even a used snippet of a spent napk-"
"Lotta?" Rocky said from somewhere above the searching Lotta.
"I'm a little busy down here, Rocky!" Lotta said over her shoulder before she dove in again. "Napkins… napkins… hello, napkins? No napkins. Napkins? No napkins there either. Napkins… napkins… Epilotta Elf to Napkin Command…? Oh, cotton-candy… we ain't got no napkins! We have everything else, but no napkins. Sugar plum mush."
"Uh… Lotta…"
"Rocky, please… I'm working here! I need to find some napkins before Santa comes over. But there aren't any napkins! Now what am I gonna do with those jammy fingers? I better just lick 'em clean… it would be a crying shame to let the yummy strawberry jam go to waste."
"Ah, Lotta… Santa is here now, and he wishes to speak to another part of you than your tush."
"Uh-buh-whut?!" Lotta squealed, standing up so fast that her precious, floppy A-Team Elf hat with the golden bobble was caught by the underside of the bench seat. The hat was knocked askew at once, but since she couldn't use her right hand to pull it back into its proper position, it all ended up as a bit of a fumble. "Ah… greetings, Mr. Santa, Sir," she said as she finally made it into an upright position. The bench seat fell down with a loud slam, but at least it didn't trap her fingers.
Sitting on his sleigh, Santa had a hard time keeping a straight face, but he managed to hold everything back as he took in the colorful sight of a blushing Epilotta Elf. "Greetings, Miss Epilotta. Miss Rockabye, are you ready?" the Yuleman said, shuffling around on the bench seat to get himself comfortable.
"We are ready, Mr. Santa, Sir," Rocky said, casting a cautious glance at the cringing Elf next to her.
"Excellent. We're running a little late, so we need to up the pace to get there on time. I'll take off first, but I'll wait for you in the air."
"Very well, Mr. Santa, Sir."
Nodding, Santa slapped the reins which made Rudolf and the seven other elite reindeer set the large sleigh in motion and pull it over to the runway.
The big, strong Sammi-Sima at the head of Rocky's fully-laden sleigh let out a bray that sounded very much like she said, 'Anything those fellas can do, I can do better.' Gustaf just sort-of nodded his head.
"Won't be long now, Lotta," Rocky said and glanced to her right again. "I hope you're ready… you heard what Santa said. We're already running late so we don't have time to dally around."
Lotta's jammy fingers left her mouth with an audible plopp! as she turned to face her friend. "I'm ready, dearest Rocky! Ooooh, this jam is yumm-mm-my!"
"I'm glad. Hang on," Rocky said and slapped the reins to make Sammi-Sima and Gustaf pull the heavy sleigh away from the loading ramp.
---
A few minutes after take-off, Rocky tugged the reins to make Sammi-Sima and Gustaf come out of the sweeping turn they had been in and fall into place just behind the rear, right-hand corner of Santa's sleigh. Thumbs-ups were exchanged, and the two-sleigh wing took off for the Home Away From Home in orderly fashion.
*
*
CHAPTER 2
It turned out to be an easy, uneventful flight for the Yuleman and the two Elves. Cruising along at their preferred altitude of twelve-hundred feet, the reindeer pulling the sleighs weren't stressed despite the heavy loads. Now and then, a course correction was needed to get the small convoy away from bad weather or unruly geese, but it was all in a day's work for Santa and Rocky.
Below them, the landscape changed from the bright-white, frozen tundras of Greenland to the endless expanses of the dark-gray Atlantic Ocean, and then into the equally gray Skagerrak.
They continued over the foam-topped, choppy seas for a few hours until another coastline appeared on the horizon. Unlike the white world they called home, the new stretch of land was flatter than a pancake, and the greenish-brown shine created by the countryside in the mid-day sun offered a hint that it was devoid of snow.
When Santa signaled Rocky that she should fly closer so he could communicate with her, she slapped the reins which made Sammi-Sima tighten up the formation.
"Miss Rockabye!" Santa yelled to be heard over the screaming headwind. "We need to climb to at least two thousand feet. There's a wind farm up ahead." When Santa saw Rocky nod an affirmative answer, he sent her a gloved thumbs-up before he slapped his own reins to make Rudolf and the others know they should enter a climb.
"Oooh, this is exciting," Lotta said and slid a bit away from Rocky so the long-haul sleigh-driver could manage the reins in a proper fashion. "We can see it already… look!" she continued, pointing ahead.
The huge wings attached to the four-hundred feet tall windmills that stood in a tight pattern in the vast, offshore wind farm spun around ceaselessly, harvesting the ocean winds to create power for the Humans.
Rocky let out a grunt and instructed Sammi-Sima and Gustaf to pull away from Santa's sleigh and begin an ascent that would bring them up to the new, safer altitude.
---
Flying over one of the huge windmills, Lotta hung over the edge of the sleigh to take in all the sights. The turbulence created by the flapping wings could be felt even at two thousand feet, so she understood why they couldn't have stayed closer to the ground.
"Oh, that's so impressive. I'm glad I'm not the one who has to wipe down those wings! That must be some ladder… Rocky? Are you miffed?" Lotta said when she realized Rocky hadn't even let out a grunt for several minutes.
"No."
"Don't you think the windmill down there is impressive? The air is so much cleaner over the Human cities after they started using wind power…"
"Can't argue with that. But impressive compared to what? The mountain we flew over last week? The Great Elf made that, not a Human."
"Uh… right," Lotta said, smirking when she realized she had steered the conversation into a touchy topic by accident. "Oh, but never mind that now. Do you wanna sing a-"
Rocky wasn't about to give up her favorite pet peeve just yet, so she made a sweeping gesture down at the wind farm they had just flown past. "Those wings have killed thousands of birds. Is that an improvement?"
"I suppose it isn't," Lotta said, looking back at the wind farm that had suddenly taken on a dark, ominous appearance.
"Lotta," Rocky said and pulled her sweetheart closer to her. "There's one thing you need to learn about the Humans. They don't care about the world they live in. They build wind farms that kill birds and call it progress. They build wave-power stations that kill seals, manatees and other sea-life and call it a breakthrough in sustainable energy. What's wrong with that picture?"
"Oh… you're so dark all of a sudden, dearest Rocky. I don't like it when you're so dark," Lotta said, snuggling up close to the strong Elfin body next to her.
"I'm sorry for being a downer… but it's how I feel."
"I know. But I don't share your view of the Humans. I kinda like some of them. Mr. and Mrs. Santa are Humans!"
"True. Oh, let's agree to disagree. Hmmm?"
"Yes, please," Lotta said and reached up to place a peck on Rocky's smooth cheek.
---
A little while later, Rocky spotted Santa waving his arm in a signal for her to come alongside his sleigh once more. "Lotta, I need my right arm now… Santa wishes to speak to us again."
Snickering into her hand, Lotta sat up straight and adjusted her A-Team hat that had been knocked askew all over again after the heavy smooching and snuggling it - and she - had just been involved in.
When the sleighs were close enough for the drivers to hear each other, Rocky put her free hand behind her pointy ear and nodded at Santa to let him know she could hear him.
"Miss Rockabye, we're not far from the relief care home now!" Santa yelled through the strong wind. "You should be able to see it in a wee while! It's a big, yellowish building by an inlet! We need to split up so they won't see you! Take an alternative route to the destination! Come at the building from behind!"
"Yes, Mr. Santa, Sir!" Rocky yelled back, sending the Yuleman a thumbs-up that was returned in kind. She tugged the reins to let Sammi-Sima and Gustaf know they should move away from the other sleigh. As the reindeer went into a slow, sweeping curve, Rocky turned to her dearest friend. "Lotta, did you hear that?"
"Not all of it."
"We're gonna split up now… we need to find another route to the relief home. Santa said it shouldn't be too long before we'll spot it. It's a big, yellowish building."
"Great!" Lotta said and clapped her hands in jubilation. "Oh, I can't wait to finally get to do some real, honest schmutting… it's been a while, actually. Oh, I just love to schmut! Schmutting makes me a happy, happy, little Elf. Even practicing my schmutting techniques back home on Chestnut Street brings so much happiness to my Elfin soul that I can only imagine what the real thing will give me… aren't you excited about the schmutting, dearest Rocky?"
"I sure am. And I just love watching you schmut, sweet Lotta. You're so good at it."
"Awww… thank you," Lotta said while a blush spread over her cheeks.
"How about playing a little game on the final leg of our journey?"
A few moments went by in silence while Lotta's fair brow was furrowed to the point of resembling a washboard. She narrowed her Elfin-green eyes while mulling over the question that appeared to be on an existential level. "Twenty Questions?" she said and glanced up at her dearest friend.
"Works for me. I wanna start."
"Oooh! Go on!"
"All right. Hmmm," Rocky said and glanced out across the desolate landscape to find some inspiration. The stretch of land they were flying over didn't offer much apart from sandy fields and scattered clusters of beech trees, but she managed to find a good one by way of association. "All right, I've got one. Shoot."
"Ooooooh! Let me see… is it an animal, an Elf or an object?"
"Animal."
Grinning, Lotta snuggled down again and began to rack her brain for the next nineteen questions that would hopefully see her arrive at whatever beast Rocky had thought of. As always, the prize was a kiss, so she needed to be Elfin clever and cunning. "Does the animal have four legs?"
"Yes."
"Well, that narrows it down… a little. Oh, I love this game!" Lotta said and broke out in a snicker.
-*-*-*-
The Twenty Questions game had come to a grinding halt by the time the Home Away From Home relief care center appeared on the horizon as a yellowish dot near a small inlet - not because they had run out of topics to ask about, but because Lotta had reached a brick wall on the very first item Rocky had thought of.
The long-haul sleigh-driver narrowed her eyes in an attempt to verify that the yellowish dot in the far distance was indeed their destination; although she had no solid proof, there were no other major structures in the area by the inlet, so it had to be the right one.
After Rocky had sent Sammi-Sima and Gustaf a command by tugging the reins, the two reindeer began a slow descent that would make the sleigh approach the relief care home at a more inconspicuous angle. As the sleigh descended, Rocky looked around for the best way in, and she decided it would have to be via the body of water.
She let the reindeer know by tugging on the reins once more, and the sleigh was soon entering a sweeping turn that would - hopefully - take them out of the field of view of the buildings they were to visit.
Ever since the game had come to a stuttering halt in the middle of the line of questions, Lotta had been quiet, but not exactly stock-still. At present, the petite Elf was positioned upside down on the bench seat with her boots sticking up in the air and her long, red locks scraping the floor of the footwell. Unlike the last time she had been in that position, it wasn't a result of an accident but a deliberate choice on her part so she could get a rush of blood to the head and thus think better.
Rocky snickered into her hand and reached over to pat Lotta's leg to show her support. "Well, you certainly can't say you didn't give it the old, Elfin try. Do you give up, sweet Lotta?"
"Never!" came the predictable response from somewhere down in the footwell. "Is it an arctic fox?"
"Uh… no. Like I said before, the animal that I'm thinking of doesn't have much fur."
"Right… sugar plum mush, I forgot that you had said that. Oh, Great Elf, it annoys me so much that I can't figure it out! And when I'm annoyed, I become a sad, sad little Elf. Oh, Rocky, can't you give me just the teeniest-tiniest little hint?"
Chuckling, Rocky patted Lotta's leg again. "If I gave you any more hints, I might as well tell you straight out. You need to figure it out for yourself, sweet Lotta."
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob…"
"Yeah. I know. Anyway, it's just that we're running out of time. Won't be long before we're at the Home Away From Home… only a couple of minutes or so."
"Mmmm! Like I said, corn-on-a-cob," Lotta mumbled and shuffled around so she had her head upward and her boots pointing down. The fair skin on her face was ruddy and flushed, but the rush of blood to her head hadn't helped her in the least. "I'm not quitting! I'm not!" she said and smacked her open palm down onto her thigh.
"I didn't say you should, sweet Lotta… just that we don't have long to go."
Grunting and groaning over her inability to come up with the right question, Lotta smoothed down her flaming red locks before she took the A-Team hat with the golden bobble and mashed it down until it was perched on her pointy ears. "It's not a donkey… no. I already asked you that. Santa's Suspenders."
"You already asked me that, yeah. It'll come to you," Rocky said and tugged the reins again once the sleigh had reached an altitude that would serve their purpose - and in this case, it meant they were skimming the waves of the inlet in front of the relief care home. "Right now, we need to focus on the job at hand. See where we're going yet?" she continued, pointing over the buckboard.
"Yup. I see it," Lotta said, pulling up the A-Team hat just a bit so she could use her Elfin-green eyes to sweep the horizon.
The full name of the Home Away From Home was the 'Dorothy Spencer Memorial Relief Care Home. Your Home Away From Home.' Dorothy Spencer, who had been a school teacher for decades, had formed the organization behind the center when she had been forced into retirement upon reaching her seventieth birthday. At first, it was only meant to be a relief home for local children who had problems in school or in life, but as the center's reputation for taking care of and supporting the needs of the troubled children grew, it soon became the country's premier center for family relief.
Five buildings made up the complex that had been placed near the inlet on the grounds of an old, abandoned seaside hotel: a three-storey dormitory that sported a flat top and three square chimneys, a co-ed sports center, an auditorium, a library and a plenum dining hall. Gravelly pathways criss-crossed a large, well-groomed lawn that reached between the dormitory and the boat bridge at the inlet. The area behind the sports center saw a tennis court, a volleyball court, a soccer pitch and a smaller section dedicated to various athletic disciplines.
Rocky let out a rumbling "Hmmm!" when she realized they were approaching from the wrong side after all - they were looking at the front of the building, not the rear like she had expected. A paved road ran behind the dormitory, and that was where Santa would most likely show up, but that meant she and Lotta would have to come in from the body of water in full view of the many windows of the dormitory and the four other buildings. Even beyond that, there were several Human children and teens playing on the lawn.
Furrowing her brow, Rocky began to look for an alternative to the alternative. "No, this isn't gonna work… we need to get out sight before it's too late," she said and tugged the reins to make Sammi-Sima and Gustaf come about to the right.
Still skimming the waves, the sleigh continued parallel to the Home Away From Home for a while until the complex was behind them; then, Rocky tugged the reins again which made the two reindeer make a hard left turn that eventually became a U.
"Yikes!" Lotta squealed, holding down her A-Team hat as the centrifugal forces tried to pull it off her head. "Where are we going in such a hurry?"
"I'm gonna put it down on the flat roof, sweet Lotta."
"Uh… whut?" Lotta said in a voice that turned from a squeal to a squeak. "We're gonna land… where?"
"On the flat roof. There's plenty of space for us. I'm going to put it down gently up there so we can remain out of sight until Santa shows up."
From the angle and altitude they were coming in at, the flat roof looked like a dark-gray, rectangular stamp against a brighter background. There didn't appear to be enough space to land a ladybug, much less a heavily-laden sleigh pulled by two reindeer, but Rocky had already committed to the site.
"Dearest Rocky…" Lotta squeaked, already envisioning the horrible, twisted wreck she was about to become involved in, "are you sure it's safe to land th- there?"
"Yes."
Nodding, Lotta sat up straight and got ready for the landing. "And that's good enough for me," she said, but her trembling voice betrayed her strong words.
---
Rocky aimed the sleigh at the very start of the short landing strip. By her calculations, it should be long enough considering it appeared to have a high-friction surface that would enable the reindeers' hooves to work well in getting everything to stop once they had touched down. She scrunched up her face and began sucking on her lips nonetheless.
Getting a bit of Elfin luck for a change, the roof they were aiming for was mostly clear of obstacles. Although it did sport three chimneys and two aluminum ventilation ports, they were all off to the side, and there were no antennas or other objects sticking up in the air that could hinder their progress.
Correcting the pitch a couple of times on final approach, Rocky tried to slow Sammi-Sima down even before they had reached the edge of the roof, but the command went against the reindeer's nature so it didn't follow through until it and Gustaf's hooves touched down on the flat surface. It was coarse roofing felt, and like Rocky had hoped for, it provided plenty of friction.
"Whoa… whoooo-ooo-ooo-ah!" Rocky cried, pulling back the reins as hard as she could. The end of the makeshift runway came up much faster than she had hoped for, but their speed was still too great to be safe. Something extra needed to be done to stay up on the flat roof, but she was too busy trying to control the sleigh to figure out what in the Elfin world that could be. "Whoa, Sammi-Sima! Ohhhhh-sugar-plum-mush!" she cried in a voice that grew in intensity by the second.
Then everything happened at once: an air-raid siren went off directly into Rocky's pointy right ear; Sammi-Sima and Gustaf both let out annoyed brays at the super-short runway; the reindeers' hooves performed frantic tap-dances on the coarse surface to slow down the sleigh; Rocky roared out loud and yanked the reins to her left which made the reindeer pull the sleigh into a hard left turn - and finally, with the end wall coming up too fast, gravity sent the sleigh up on its right runner as a result of the hard left. The situation turned into the very definition of 'hanging on by an Elfin thread' for a while before the sleigh came bouncing down on both runners with a series of moans, creaks and groans.
After a second or two, the air-raid siren petered out, and so did the rest of Lotta who slithered down into the footwell with her eyes rolling freely in her head.
---
It took a well-buttered cinnamon bun, a healthy mug of vanilla-flavored Yule-tea and several kisses for Epilotta Elf to get back on her feet, but she eventually did. Her voice was raw after all the wild screaming, but the glorious butter and the tasty, sugary tea went a long way to soothe her frazzled nerves.
Although the landing had been hairy, no damage had been done to the reindeer, the sleigh, the Elves or indeed the presents on the flatbed. As Sammi-Sima and Gustaf maneuvered the custom-built sleigh around on the flat roof to remain out of sight from the ground or the other buildings, Rocky hopped down onto the fur-covered bench seat after checking the cargo up on the flatbed. "We're good," she said and dusted off her hands.
"That's nice," Lotta croaked in her raw voice. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I just didn't think it looked safe 's all."
"Oh, that's quite all right, sweet Lotta. I had doubts myself," Rocky said and let out a sigh of relief. "Now all we need to do is to wait for Santa to show up. When he does, we'll go a-schmutting. Oh, I need a snack of some kind. Could I tempt you to share another well-buttered cinnamon bun with me?"
"Oh, Great Elf, I thought you'd never ask!" Lotta said, jumping up so they could get the bench seat open and find all the healthy, nutritious snack food they had brought along for the schmutting job.
-*-*-*-
"A what?" Lotta said, holding a half-eaten, well-buttered cinnamon bun halfway up to her mouth.
"A giraffe."
"I have no idea what that is," Lotta mumbled and proceeded to chew on the well-buttered bun with a miffed expression on her face.
Letting out a grunt, Rocky shot her dearest friend a puzzled look. "It's the animal I thought of for the game. How come you don't know what a giraffe is?"
"Well, if I knew why I didn't know, then you might say I did know… but then you couldn't say I didn't know, and thus you couldn't say I didn't know why I didn't know."
"Uh… whut?"
Lotta didn't notice her dearest friend's comical expression, but pressed on chewing on her bun. "I must have been home from Elfin school sick that day… or week, depending. What is it, anyway?"
"A giraffe is a wild animal that lives in Africa. It's got a huge, long neck, it's kinda orangey-yellow, and it's got darker patterns in its orangey-yellow furry kinda skin."
Lotta stopped chewing and turned her head to stare at Rocky. "Oh… I think I did know that. I just didn't know it was called a gee- what?"
"Raffe."
"Huh?"
"A giraffe, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and snickered into her hand. To show that she wasn't snickering at Lotta, she reached around the petite Elf's slender waist and pulled her tight. "It's your turn. You wanna host a new round, or…?"
Lotta considered her options for a short while before she shrugged and took the final bite of the cinnamon bun. Since no Elf anywhere in the Elfin world - with perhaps one or two exceptions - would speak through a mouthful of food, Rocky would just have to wait for her dearest friend to finish eating to get her answer. Once it was all down, Lotta licked her fingers clean of the sugary residue and shrugged again. "No… I'm not on good form today. Although I did win a hand of Olsen!"
"That you did, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and kissed her sweetheart's hair.
"Mmmm!" Lotta said and snuggled down into Rocky's warm grip. "I think we should just wait here until Santa arrives. I mean, we must be out of sight…"
"Yup. I can hear and smell Humans nearby, but they're no threat to us."
"Because they're children, Rocky."
"Pass."
"Huh? Oh…" Lotta said, realizing that her dearest friend wasn't interested in continuing the discussion from earlier. "Right. But anyway, it gives me a really, really good opportunity to close my eyes and dream of a stack of fat pancakes, a lit fireplace, a pot of hot chocolate… and you and me. Oh, and a spread of wildberry jam. And maybe a few sprinkles of icing sugar."
"Yeah?"
"Ohhhh-yeah. Maybe the new, super-yummy strawberry jam instead of wild- no. Definitely wildberry jam."
Commotion from down on the ground made Lotta crack open an eyelid. Looking around, she couldn't see anything that appeared to be out of the ordinary up on the rooftop. She was on the brink of closing her eyes again and returning to the golden-hued daydream when a choir of kids' voices began to chant Santa's name from somewhere below the flat-topped roof. "Oh, I think you-know-who has arrived," she said and sat up straight.
Rocky regretted the separation at once, and needed a little kiss on Lotta's red locks before she could let go fully. "Yep," she said and hopped off the sleigh. In no time flat, she had zipped over to the edge of the roof to look down.
Three stories below, a large group of children had swarmed out onto a parking lot that had been laid out between the main building and a paved road that ran past the dormitory of the relief care home. There was a constant murmur of excited tones that rippled between the children, and they were under supervision by a few adults who tried to keep everyone's excitement in check. The children were dressed in heavy, winter clothing, and most wore colorful hats that gave Rocky the impression she was looking down at an anthill that had taken a head start into the next carnival.
A wild cheer rose from the children when the guest of honor finally made his entrance: A few hundred yards out, Santa's sleigh came rolling along the road pulled by two of his eight elite reindeer.
Even though Rocky knew the Yuleman personally, her Elfin instincts couldn't help but being stirred by the magnificent sight of the burly, bearded man who was sitting in his colorful sleigh, waving his gloved hand at the children he was about to meet. There was something magical about Santa and indeed the whole Yuletide experience, she didn't doubt that for a second.
Knowing that Lotta would want to see it, Rocky waved her sweetheart over to her to share the special moment. The petite Elf joined her half a heartbeat later, and the two Elves huddled up by the edge of the flat roof to watch ol' Santa at work.
The grinding noises produced by the wooden runners as they scraped along the pavement reached Rocky's sensitive, pointy ears, and they made her scrunch up her face in a horrified grimace. Since Santa couldn't very well fly into the parking lot, there was no way around abusing the runners on the tarmac, but she was glad she wasn't among the Elves who had to renew them after each mission the Yuleman went on.
The children let out even louder cheers when Santa came close enough to hear them. A few tried to run out to the paved road, but they were held back by the adult supervisors for safety reasons.
Santa turned his sleigh into the parking lot and once more waved at the children waiting for him. Stopping in the middle of two rows, he stood up and let out a rumbling laugh. Grabbing the heavy bag of gifts from the flatbed behind him, he slung it over his shoulder and stepped down onto the parking lot.
"Huh… that's odd," Lotta whispered, shaking her head in confusion. "How come he isn't saying Ho-Ho-Ho, Rocky? He always says it back home… that's his trademark!"
Rocky smirked and leaned close to Lotta's pointy ear. "It's like this…" she whispered and explained the unfortunate turn the trademark had taken in recent years among the Humans.
"Well, I never!" Lotta cried before Rocky clamped a hand over her loud mouth. "Mmmpph, umppfgh, ppphmnnbg-rude!"
"Hush, sweet Lotta! You don't want them to hear us, do you?" Rocky whispered.
Lotta shook her head and sent her dearest friend a silent message that she promised to be a quiet Elf from now on - or as quiet as Epilotta Elf would ever be. "Oh, what is the Elfin world coming to?!" she whispered. "I'm beginning to agree with you on some aspects of the Humans… that's just awful! What's next… is Elf gonna be a rude word? Or Merry Yuletide?"
"I wouldn't put it past them, sweet Lotta," Rocky mumbled as she watched Santa being swamped by the children down at the entrance to the Home Away From Home . When the Yuleman went inside, the children and the adult supervisors all followed, and the parking lot was soon quiet once more. "All right, that's our cue. We're going schmutting!"
"Fih-nally!" Lotta said and pulled back from the edge of the flat roof. Before she made it back to the custom-built sleigh to grab the first load of presents, a variation of one of her favorite songs from the Great Elfin Songbook just needed to come out - "Ohhhhh… here we go a-schmutte-ring… a-schmut, a-schmut, a-schmutte-ring down the chutes so-"
"Lotta!" Rocky whined, throwing her arms in the air.
Lotta exploded in a bout of furious snickering at the look on her dearest friend's face, and the fit lasted all the way over to the nearest chimney. Still snickering, she shimmied around on the spot as if to say she was sorry, but that she had to convey it by physical action instead of verbal communication because her voice still hadn't recovered sufficiently to speak without breaking out into song or another snicker-fit - or, in other words, if she said as much as 'buh,' another explosion would follow.
Rocky just took a deep breath and scooped up her own, first armful of presents. Meeting her sweetheart at the chimney, Rocky leaned in to continue the undercover aspect of the operation though Lotta's wild snickering had most likely already alerted every living thing within a two-mile radius. "We're not gonna use the chimneys this time, Lotta… we need to use the ventilation ports."
Finally over her snicker-fit, Lotta furrowed her brow and turned around to look at the nearest aluminum port. It was narrower than the chimneys, and the metal would definitely be slipperier than the bricks, but they would still be able to use it for the most important part of the mission, which was the schmutting itself. "Uh… all right. May I ask why?"
" 'Cos the chimneys will most likely go down to a central heating room in the basement. We've tried that, remember? The ventilation ports exit in the hallways and the rooms. Much easier, and much faster."
"Ah… clever! Oh, dearest Rocky, here's a little kiss for good luck," Lotta said and leaned over to place a smooch right on the sleigh-driver's kisser.
"Thank you. Let's use that one over there," Rocky said and zipped over to the ventilation port Lotta had been looking at.
---
Rocky's Elfin-blue eyes peeked down into the black chasm. There was something amiss about the whole thing, but she couldn't quite figure out what it could be. Perhaps it was the gentle breeze that rose from the ventilation port that jingled her Elfin warning bells, or perhaps it was the faint, distant flapping that reached her pointy ears though there were no visible windmills anywhere near them - whatever it was, a pre-schmutting test was in order. "Lotta, please find a small pebble or something… I don't want to schmut down there before we've tested it. There's something wrong."
"A pebble?" Lotta said and looked around the flat roof. It didn't take her long to find a suitable specimen, but the next problem presented itself immediately: she already had her hands full with the presents they were there to deliver. "Hmmm," she mumbled, looking at the pebble on the rooftop.
Since she didn't want to just drop the fragile presents, she would need to put them down gently before she could take the pebble, but her grip on the presents was designed to work for schmutting, not for putting them down again even before they had schmutted anywhere. "Hmmm," she said again, looking around for a spot to put down the presents. In the end, she shuffled back to the sleigh to dump them there. Zipping back to the pebble, she picked it up and handed it to her dearest friend. "Here you go," she said with a smile on her face.
"Thank you, sweet Lotta… stand back… I have a bad feeling about this for some Elfin reason. There's definitely something wrong here," Rocky said and held the pebble over the black chasm. As she released it, the small stone fell to its doom. It only covered a distance of a good twenty feet into the ventilation shaft before it hit an unseen object and was shattered into a thousand fragments that clinged, clanged and rattled all the way down.
"Oh… ye… Great… Elf…" Lotta croaked, staring wide-eyed into the black chasm. "Is there a troll down there?"
"No. Worse. It's a fan. We would have been splattered, sweet Lotta."
Lotta's eyes grew even wider, and she moved back from the black chasm in a hurry like she was afraid the fan would come up and do her in right there and then. "Spla- spla- spla- oh, I can't even say it!"
"Sugar plum mush," Rocky said and turned around to look at the brick chimney she had discarded only minutes earlier. "Looks like we'll have to do it the slower way. Come on, Lotta… we can't hang around for too much longer. We need to be finished before Santa leaves!"
"Spla- spla- spla- oh, ye Great Elf, what a tickle-monster!" Lotta croaked, staggering back to the sleigh to get the presents.
---
"I'll go first, sweet Lotta. Meet you down there," Rocky said and offered her sweetheart a smile. Swinging her legs over the edge of the brick chimney, she schmutted downstairs with a merry "Yoo-hoo-hoo!" on her lips.
Sitting on the upper edge of the chimney, Lotta strained her keen Elfin hearing to the maximum to listen for any unwanted noises, like clinging, clanging and rattling, but all she could hear was Rocky's muffled voice that said: 'All clear! C'mon!' from several stories below the flat roof.
Taking a deep breath, Lotta made sure she had a firm grip on the presents before she let go and disappeared into the black hole. She let out a "Yoo-hoo-hoooo!" as well, and the brick shaft gave her a voice a funny echo that followed her all the way down.
Remembering to bend her knees upon landing like she had been taught at the Elfin Academy, Lotta found herself inside a pitch black, dusty, sooty furnace. Staring around in a daze for a few moments, she soon spotted Rocky who waved at her through an open latch in the boiler. "Huh… that was mighty pe-cu-lee-arr," she mumbled as she stepped out of the furnace and into a room that looked exactly like one of the control rooms at the toy factories up north.
There were dials, knobs and insulated pipes everywhere. Smaller pipes came together into larger pipes that in turn came together into great, big, fat pipes that had all been attached to the low ceiling of the basement. No fires had been lit in any of the three furnaces, and it didn't even have that rich, homey smell of burning firewood - like Rocky had predicted, the main building of the relief care home had been converted to central heating that was delivered from an external source, and the thermal installation had made the old-fashioned furnaces obsolete.
Endless gray, dull corridors spread out on either side of the central heating control room, and at first glance, it wasn't possible to see how they would find a way upstairs into the dormitory itself. "Rocky? Where did you go?" Lotta said in a whisper though no Humans were close enough to hear her.
'Over here… to your right,' Rocky's disembodied voice said from somewhere further into the maze of hissing and ticking pipes.
Grunting, Lotta zipped over to her dearest friend and slipped up behind her. "We're here… now what?" she said, eyeing the piece of paper Rocky held in her Elfin hands. It had a few scribbled lines on it, but the angle was wrong so she couldn't read it.
"Now we schmut like we're supposed to," Rocky said as she folded up the cargo manifest and put it in her jacket pocket. "According to the signs on the walls, there's a service elevator just down the hallway… it'll take us upstairs to the first floor. You ready?"
"I'm always ready to schmut, dearest Rocky."
"Neat! Let's go."
The two Elves zipped along the central hallway each carrying an armful of presents. The service elevator was soon found and called - even Rocky needed to stand up on tip-toes to reach the access panel - and when it arrived, they squeezed themselves into it while being careful with the presents.
"First floor, here we come," Rocky whispered as she pressed the button with her thumb. "Let's hope the Humans don't have any vicious guard mutts prowling the hallways while Santa is here…"
An audible Gulp! was heard from the redheaded Elf behind her, but she offered her anxious friend a broad smile to offset her fears. When the elevator sent out an electronic ding to let the passengers know they had reached their destination, Rocky moved out of the tight confines to look around - a moment later, her eyes flew wide open, and she fumbled badly as she tried to squeeze herself back into the elevator. "That's not the first floor! That's the ground floor… it's the cotton-candy lobby! There are Humans everywhere! Lotta, hit it… hit the button!" she said in a hoarse whisper, nodding like crazy to get Lotta to press the button for the second floor.
"I can't reach it, dearest Rocky!" Lotta squeaked. "Oh, ugh… oh… hang on, I… ugh! I got it… I almost got it… no, I… I don't got it! Ugh! Oh, corn-on-a-cob, I can't reach it! Can you reach it?"
"No! We gotta hustle!"
"Ugh-ugh-ugh! Wait… I got it… my nose… I'll use my nose," Lotta continued, twisting around so her pert, little nose could be pressed into action as a button-pusher. Squeaking again when the tip and her nostrils were squashed flat by the cold metal, she tilted her head forward which made the button engage, and the doors close.
"Ow… ow-ow-owie!" Lotta squeaked in a curiously muffled voice. She needed to shake her head twice to get her nostrils to pop back out, but they eventually did so with an audible splat.
Rocky grimaced at the sound and the fact that her sweetheart was hurting - at present, there wasn't anything she could do about the latter of the two. "I don't get it… why was the first floor the ground floor? And why do we have to press the second floor button to get to the first floor? What kind of troll-hive is this establishment?" she mumbled, grumbled, moaned and groaned under her breath.
"I don't know… but I do know my nose is having a big owie, and that I could eat a well-buttered raisin- no, actually, I could eat a Welch bread. Yes, an entire Welch bread with raspberry jam. And some Yule-tea… ooooh, to munch on the yummy almonds and raisins that have soaked in the tea… we definitely need to have a cup of Yule-tea before we fly back home, Rocky."
Rocky nodded solemnly. "I promise, sweet Lotta. I'm so, so sorry that your nose is having a major owie. I'll kiss it to make it better once I get my hands free."
The elevator sent out another electronic ding to signal they had arrived at the second floor. This time, Rocky cocked a leg to hold the automatic sliding doors back while she took a long, hard glance at the hallway. "Mmmm… yep, this must be the first floor. I have no idea why they call it the second floor… oh, whatever. There isn't anyone here, so… come on, Lotta. We've got some schmutting to do."
"Right behind you, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said, reaching around her presents to get an even better grip.
---
Zipping along the deserted hallway, Rocky and Lotta divided the rooms between them so they didn't have to follow in each other's footsteps the whole time. Lotta had been given the left-hand side, and Rocky took the right-hand side. They schmutted into each room in turn, depositing the presents they carried in accordance with the cargo manifest Santa had given them; the manifest had been compiled from the Dearest Santa -letters sent to Greenland by the children staying at the relief care home.
They both ran out of presents halfway down the hall, but their sublime schmutting skills, not to mention the lessons they had learned surrounding the bizarre contraption known as the service elevator, meant they were back on the second floor carrying the next armful of presents in no time.
One room after the other was serviced following the ancient Elfin guidelines: Upon entering the room, the Elf would need to make sure he or she remained fully out of sight, and that included not stepping on any squeaky toys left behind on the floor. The presents needed to be put in an orderly fashion under the Yuletree which could come in many different shapes and sizes, so the Elf assigned to the room would need to be clever and use his or her imagination. Once the presents had been delivered, the Elf needed to leave the room as soon as possible unless the Human owner had left a mug of sweet white ale and a bowl of rice pudding with cinnamon and a pool of melted butter for the Elfin visitor - if that was the case, the Elf should obviously eat, drink and be merry before vacating the premises.
Rocky and Lotta followed the guidelines to the T, but Lotta was deeply disappointed that no one had left a bowl of rice pudding for her - or even a candy bar she could munch on. "Oh, people just aren't interested in the old traditions these days," she mumbled while the corners of her mouth traveled south. She continued schmutting in and out of the rooms on her side of the hallway, but the somber fact that nobody had left as much as a peppernut - or even a peanut - for her began to grate on her sensitive Elfin soul. "Oh, I remember the stories I heard when I was an itty-bitty-little Elf about Humans leaving gigantic bowls of rice pudding for their Elfin friends… it's just not like that anymore, and it makes me a sad, sad, little Elf… oh, Rocky, why do people break traditions? Especially when those traditions mean so much to us Elves?"
Across the hallway, Rocky popped her head out from one of the other rooms. "Are you talking to me, sweet Lotta?"
"No…"
"Uh… I see," Rocky said, looking up and down the hallway to check if she could indeed see anything or anyone that Lotta could be talking to instead. With the hallway devoid of any kind of lifeforms, she shrugged and went back into the room she had been working on.
Lotta still had a couple of presents left in her arms, but her deflating mood meant she came to a halt in the middle of the hallway's smooth floor to let out a deep sigh. She remained there for a few moments before she sighed again and carried on. "Oh well, I can't stop now… making a Human child a sad, sad little person won't make me feel any better…"
---
It wasn't until Rocky and Lotta reached the far wall of the second-floor hallway at the end of their schmutting run that they realized it wasn't a wall at all, but a white sliding door with a frosted-glass pane.
A row of letters had been printed on the glass pane, but they were in Human so Lotta had a hard time deciphering them. "Com-mu-ni-ty Room… commuting room? Com-mutiny Room? Common-something Room? What in the whole, wide Elfin world does it say, Rocky?" she said, cocking her head this way and that to make sense of the oddly jumbled letters.
"Actually, it says 'community room,' sweet Lotta," Rocky said and stuck out her tongue at her sweetheart; she tempered it with a grin at once to show that she wasn't making fun of the petite Elf. "We need to get you signed up for a few evening classes in Human…"
Reaching into her pocket, Rocky found the cargo manifest, but let out a "Hmmm," when the room wasn't on the list. Flipping the page over, she let out another "Hmmm!" in a different tone that made it sound she had just solved the Riddle Of The Elf-Sphinx.
"I agree. I really, really need to learn that cotton-candy Human language," Lotta mumbled, craning her neck to check out the flip-side of the cargo manifest that had made Rocky let out the grunts.
Yet another "Hmmmmmm!" was uttered by Rocky before she re-folded the manifest and stuck it back into her pocket. "Santa wants us to do a couple of things in there. We need to draw the curtains, turn off the lights, activate a little train set, and finally turn on an electrical Yuletree so it's ready for when the children come back from downstairs. I'm thinking that we should turn off the lights last so we won't fumble around too much in there…"
"Oh! Oh, that sounds so Elfin cozy!" Lotta said and performed a little happy dance on the spot. "But an electrical Yuletree? Oh, I hope it's not one of those that play mangled Yuletide favorites," she continued in a mumble, thinking back to an unfortunate incident that had happened on her very first schmutting job with Rocky just after they had met for the first time.
"Huh?"
"Oh, nothing. Should we?"
"Yep," Rocky said and reached for the handle on the sliding door. It wasn't heavy despite carrying the frosted glass pane, so she was able to get it to move without getting a helping hand from Lotta. The sliding door ran freely on its rail until she stopped it with a tug. Once it was stable and not in danger of rolling back and thus trapping them, she peeked inside.
The room was dark, but her probing fingers found a light switch. "Lotta," she said before flipping the switch, "you need to protect your eyes… the Humans have weird, weird lights in places like these."
"Uh… I will, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and covered her face with her hands. She left room to peek through, but when Rocky flipped the switch, she wished she hadn't. The strip lights in the ceiling came to life with a series of dizzying flashes, and Lotta promptly let out a squeak and slammed her eyes shut.
"Told you," Rocky mumbled as she moved into the room and looked around for the things they were supposed to do in there.
"I know," Lotta squeaked, following her dearest friend inside.
The Community Room was larger than it had appeared from the outside, but so much furniture had been crammed into it that it seemed cramped despite the spacious layout. At the far wall, two windows overlooked the landscape beyond the dormitory. The curtains seemed to be easy to manipulate, so Rocky went over there right away to draw them so she and Lotta wouldn't get any negative surprises later on.
An upright piano stood in one of the far corners surrounded by a group of wooden chairs. A couch arrangement complete with a low table in front of it had been placed just inside the sliding door, and a large system of shelves took up most of the space along the wall opposite the couch. Hundreds of colorful spines filled out the upper five shelves, and the lower three saw plenty of cardboard boxes that contained board games and other kinds of entertainment suitable for kids.
The corner opposite the upright piano had been cleared of furniture, and that was where the six-foot tall electrical Yuletree they needed to turn on had been put. Forest-green, the branches were so lifelike that Lotta needed to stick her abused nose all the way down to the green plastic to establish that it wasn't real wood.
While Lotta probed the tree, Rocky went around the room to find the train set. There didn't appear to be room for such a toy anywhere among the furniture, and she couldn't find a cardboard box that could hold it, either, in case it hadn't been unpacked yet. Rubbing her chin, she went down on her hands and knees to see if the sneaky Humans had installed it on the floor. A moment later, she let out a grunt. "Lotta… please take a step back. You're standing on the tracks…"
"Oh! Sugar plum mush!" Lotta croaked, looking down in a hurry - sure enough, her right boot had been planted across the railway lines that ran around the foot of the artificial Yuletree in a big circle. Fortunately, the train hadn't been running or else she would have had a sore ankle to go with the sore nose. "I'm so sorry, Rocky… I didn't notice it," she said as she took a long step back.
"No harm done, sweet Lotta. All right, I think we have all we need in here. Can you see a control panel or some such for the train set?"
"Uh… no… yes!" Lotta said, pointing at a dark-gray plastic box that had several wires sticking out of it. For once, it was simple to operate - it had a slider that could be set into three different positions: '0' for inactivity, '-1' for when the train needed to go in reverse, and '+1' to make the train move ahead. "I have it… should I turn it on?"
"Yep," Rocky said, eyeing the community room. Apart from the drawn curtains, they hadn't touched anything so they didn't need to restore anything to its previous state.
Prepared to be awed, Lotta turned the slider to the '+1' setting and took a step back to see what kind of train that would appear. A choo-choo from afar heralded the arrival of an old-fashioned steam locomotive that pulled four wagons; held in Yuletide-red and gold, the train set had a certain similarity to Santa's sleigh. Small LED lights had been installed into the wagons and at the head of the locomotive's boiler, but the faint shine couldn't be seen too well while the strip lights were on.
"Oh, that's so nice!" she said and clapped her petite hands in jubilation.
"Great, Lotta!" Rocky said and performed a little dance move to show that even a long-haul sleigh-driver could be excited by something so pretty. "Now we only have to find the switch for the Yuletree and we're all done…"
"I'll bet you a kiss and a whole bowl of sugared oatmeal and yummy lukewarm milk that it's this one," Lotta said and reached for a switch on the wall that had a symbol of a Yuletree on it. Snickering, she flipped it - and was nearly blinded by the light-show that came to life on the plastic branches right next to her. "Well I'll be a big, red candy apple!" she cried, jumping back from the countless red, white, blue, green and golden LED lights that blinked at random.
Snickering into her hand, Rocky stuck out her tongue at her sweetheart. "A candy apple? That's nice… but I've always thought you were just like a marzipan piggy. You know… pink, cute and tasty."
"Yeah, and… whut?" Lotta said, furrowing her brow at Rocky's words. "Oh… yeah. Tee hee," she continued as she broke out in a snicker.
After waving Lotta over so she wouldn't have to navigate the crowded room in the dark, Rocky turned off the strip lights which allowed the LED-lights on the steam locomotive and the Yuletree to come to life. The locomotive choo-choo'ed merrily as it pulled its illuminated wagons around the circular track; at the same time, the warm, rich colors shone from the countless dots on the branches, and there was even a brightly-lit angel atop the artificial Yuletree.
"Awwwwwww!" Rocky and Lotta said as one. They fell into each other's arms and kissed their sweetheart soundly now they finally had their hands free - Rocky remembered to kiss Lotta's aching nose as well.
"This is what I call an Elfin good moment. Stuff like this makes an Elfin life worth living," Lotta said, discreetly wiping away a tear that had escaped her Elfin-green eye.
Rocky nodded and pulled Lotta closer to her. "I agree… this is what it's all about. Oh, we can't rest on our pine branches. There's still a floor to go. Come on, sweet Lotta… we have plenty more schmutting to do."
*
*
CHAPTER 3
Schmutting down the chimney and back into in the basement once more, Lotta executed another perfect landing inside the unused, but sooty, furnace. There weren't too many presents left up on the sleigh, but the remaining ones were all somewhat large or cumbersome, so she couldn't carry as many on each schmutting trip that she would have liked.
She zipped out of the control room and hustled along the endless corridor like a crazed mountain hare to get everything done on their tight schedule - but just as she went past a door to an office she hadn't paid any attention to before, her keen sense of smell detected a Human nearby. "Oh, corn-on-a-cob!" she whispered, whipping her head around to look for somewhere to hide.
Several large barrels that had been put in a corner close to the office offered a solid hiding place, so Lotta zipped over there and jumped behind the pale-blue plastic drums. Ducking her head down so the golden bobble at the end of her A-Team hat's floppy cone wouldn't stick out, she held her breath to wait out the danger.
It didn't take long for a Human female to come shuffling along the hallway. The woman wore sturdy, brown boots, khaki pants and a jacket in a matching color. She carried a khaki cap in her hand which revealed she had short, mousy-brown hair.
As poor Elfin luck would have it, the Human female came to a halt not four paces from Lotta's position behind the drums. Sniffling, the woman reached into her pocket to retrieve a huge wad of keys on a long, metal chain. The proper key was soon found and inserted into the lock of the office door.
When the woman entered the office, Lotta drew a sigh of relief, but just as she was about to carry on, she could hear the woman rummaging around in there - and worse, the door to the hallway hadn't been closed.
Lotta bared her teeth in a horrified grimace at the problem which seemed almost insurmountable. If Rocky came zipping past the open door - and it would happen soon since the sleigh-driver had arrived up on the roof just as Lotta was ready to schmut the other way - she would be in plain sight of the woman inside the room. The only solution for Lotta would be to try to flag Rocky down before she could go past the door, but that would mean that she would put herself in danger of being spotted by the woman.
"Oh… sugar plum mush… why do we always get mixed up in these odd, odd situations? What a tickle-monster," Lotta whispered under her breath. Her keen hearing soon picked up the sound of Rocky's boots hitting the ground in the furnace room further down the hallway, and it wasn't long before she could hear the fleet-footed Elf's bootsteps flying along the hallway.
Another sound reached Lotta's ears. It was a familiar sound, but one she had seldom heard from a Human. Someone was weeping. She furrowed her brow and summoned all her courage so she could inch closer to the open door. A shiver ran all across her petite Elfin body at the thought of the dangers involved, but all her Elfin instincts screamed in her pointy ears that someone who was hurting should be comforted - Elf, beast or indeed Human.
Peeking around the edge of the door, she noticed a set of letters that had been put on the gray surface. The letters spelled out J-a-n-i-t-o-r, but she didn't recognize the word so she couldn't understand the meaning of it.
Inside the office, the Human female she had seen in the hallway sat at a metal desk looking miserable. Sniffling, the woman reached into one of the pockets of her jacket to get a small pack of tissues. Unfolding one, she used it to wipe her eyes.
The office was sparsely furnished: it was only equipped with the metal desk and a companion swivel-chair, a low, roll-front sideboard at the opposite wall, a large poster that looked like a blueprint of some kind above the sideboard, and finally two metal filing cabinets down the back. An odd-looking machine that Lotta assumed was one of the Humans' favored kitchen appliances, a coffee-maker, stood on the metal desk - and just as she was looking, the machine began to let out steam and a blubbering sound like the Human female had turned it on when she had entered the office.
Worst of all, the small office was devoid of Yuletide decorations of any kind, and Lotta's chin twitched at the unbearable thought of living through the Season to be Jolly without even recognizing it.
Behind Lotta, Rocky came to a sliding halt on the smooth floor out in the hallway. The sleigh-driver narrowed her eyes down into Elfin-blue slits as she took in the sight of Lotta treading on highly dangerous ground. Speaking was out of the question with the Human so close by, and she literally had her hands full so she couldn't even grab her sweetheart to pull her back.
Ultimately, she didn't have to do a thing since Lotta turned around and made eye contact with her. They shared a silent message that it was high time for Epilotta Elf to get the cotton-candy out of there before the Human female would sic her guard dogs on her, but somehow, the petite Elf didn't seem to pick up on the deeper meaning of the non-verbal dialogue.
The woman inside the office began to weep again, and the heartfelt sound made even Rocky's hardened defenses begin to crumble at the outer edges. Humans were no friends of hers, so she clenched her jaw and continued schmutting on down the hallway, fully expecting Lotta to follow her.
Lotta didn't. Instead, the younger Elf put down the presents she had been carrying and stepped over the threshold to the office. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her little, Elfin heart hammered away in her chest at the dangers involved, but she would be a bad, bad Elf if she didn't at least try to comfort a person who was crying.
"He- hello," Lotta stammered, once more cursing the fact that she had never spent much time studying the Human language. The coffee-maker made such a racket that the female at the metal desk hadn't heard her the first time, so she cleared her throat and tried again. "Hello?" she said in a loud and crystal-clear Elfin voice.
The Human female turned her tear-streaked face to look at the door. She had her line of sight at the regular height for humans, but since there was nothing there, her eyes slid down, down and down until they met Lotta's two-foot-nine frame. The air hummed with surprise, puzzlement and even shock for several moments before the woman let out a grunt and a "What the he-"
"Please be not alarm, Miss!" Lotta said in broken Human as she put her hands in the air. "Epilotta Elf is me, and I be here for helping. I heard you cry… and I want to helping… no… ugh… help you."
The Human female narrowed her eyes and stared at the short figure with the pointy ears, the Elfin hat with the golden bobble, and the dark-blue outfit not dissimilar to her own khaki janitor's uniform. Then she leaned her head back and let out a slightly screechy belly laugh. "Oh, yay! I've gone off the deep end… whoop-di-doo! Susan, I hope you're happy now! It finally happened… I've lost it!" she cried before she gave her face a thorough rubbing.
"Uh… right… uh…" Lotta said in Elfish, shuffling back and forth on the office floor. Since the Human female kept on laughing hysterically, Lotta pushed the door shut before she went back to stand in the middle of the small room. She racked her brain to come up with the proper Human words, but she couldn't squeeze much more out of it than what she had already harvested. "No, no… I be real Elf… like I said, me be Epilotta Elf. Home, it's polite only to say… ugh… not polite not to… oh, corn-on-a-cob! Say your name when Elf told you her… uh… hers."
"My name? You want my name?" the woman said between fits of laughing.
"Uh… yes. Please."
"Ellen Barton, how are ya! How nice of ya to drop by! You want some coffee or somethin'? Oh hell, this is just great… now they'll fire me for seeing Elves in broad daylight!"
Lotta hadn't caught a word of that apart from the woman's name, so she bared her teeth in a worried grimace and shimmied around on the spot like she was prone to do.
"Wait," Ellen continued, suddenly pointing an index finger at Lotta, "you really are real, aintcha? Sure you are. You're a real Christmas Elf. Aintcha?"
Not quite getting all the slang, Lotta needed to parse the words carefully before she could answer the many questions. Eventually, she offered the Human female a nod. "Uh… uh… no Christmas Elf, but Yuletide Elf. Real Elf. Epilotta Elf. Hello, Miss Ellen."
Ellen's laughing fit died down and turned into a chuckle. Soon, it wasn't even that as she swiveled back to the desk and let out a sigh. The coffee-maker had finished in the meantime, so she took a mug and poured the dark-brown liquid into it. After taking a sip of the steaming hot, black coffee, she turned back to Lotta. "Oh, did you want some coffee?" she said, holding up a spare mug.
"Thank you no. No coffee. Bitter," Lotta said and shook her head.
"Yeah, no kiddin'. I'm more of a tea-girl myself. But coffee is better for work 'cos it can just sit in the machine all day," Ellen said and took another sip.
"Tea-girl? Oh! Me tea-Elf too!" Lotta said in Human as she shuffled over to the metal desk. "Love love love Yule-tea with… uh… mandler … and… rosiner … and… all things. Real yummy Yule-tea."
Ellen chuckled and turned to her new, little friend. "I only caught every other word of whatcha said there, but okay… I see where you're going with that."
"Uh… going?" Lotta said in Human. Shaking her head, she mumbled "Oh, never mind that now," in Elfish before she turned back to the woman at the desk. "Miss Ellen, why you cry now? You cry much. Don't like see womans… womens… uh…. women cry."
Looking down, Ellen offered the Elf a sad, little smile that Lotta didn't need to have translated to understand - it all concerned the matters of the heart. "I'm just in a funk. It happens every now and then. I turn on the waterworks for a couple-a days and then I'm fine again. Ah, I don't wanna heap it on ya, Epilotta. It's just me being stupid."
"You will talk… no… will you… no… ugh! Want you- you want to talk?"
"Well, thanks for the offer, but I did one better," Ellen said, pulling out the metal desk's top drawer and retrieving an envelope that had an address printed on it, but no stamp. "I wrote a letter. A letter to Santa Claus, wouldya believe. Of course, being a Yuletide Elf, you probably would, right?"
"Letter to Santa? Write you… no… you write Dearest Santa letter?"
"Yeah", Ellen said and let out a dark chuckle. "Ain't that just pathetic? A grown woman like me writing to Santa Claus. Pathetic. I wrote it, but I didn't mail it. I was just too embarrassed."
"No embarrass," Lotta said and shook her head. "Santa is good man."
"You probably know him, right? Hell, you probably work with him on a daily basis."
"Uh… yes," Lotta said and snickered into her hand like any polite Yuletide Elf would. "What letter say? No. Sorry. No business."
"Nah, it's all right. Oh, it's just that I… damn, I went through a bad breakup earlier this year, so I thought that… well, if I told Santa that I could really need a new sweetheart, maybe he'd send me one… or point me to where I could find one," Ellen said and took a sip of her coffee. Shrugging, she turned back to the desk. "Like I said, way pathetic," she continued in a quieter voice.
Grinning like a crazed mountain hare, Lotta hopped up and down and clapped her hands in glee. "What I did! What I did last year and Santa gave me Rocky!"
"Rocky, huh? Sounds like a bad boy… are you happy?"
Lotta's eyes narrowed a little at the first, curious, part of Ellen's sentence, but she broke out in a smile at the second part. "Yes! Yes very so. Love Rocky."
"Well, that's great to hear, Epilotta. Just great. At least the Yuletide Elves get to have some sweet lovin'. Enjoy it while it lasts, friend."
"Yes! Sweet Lotta she calls me," Lotta said with a broad grin.
Ellen cocked her head and shot the Yuletide Elf a sideways glance. " 'She', huh? Progressive Elves, how about that?"
"Uh… don't underst-"
"Is Rocky here?"
"Yes, yes! Rocky outside with presents for… uh… babies… no… kid- children!"
"Ahhh, of course."
Exactly on cue, Rocky came to another sliding halt out in the endless corridor. Annoyed - but mostly worried - that Lotta hadn't come along for the schmutting gig, the long-haul sleigh-driver pushed the door open to peek into the office. After all, there was a risk her sweetheart had been torn limb by limb by the vicious guard dogs that were sure to prowl the corridors, but when she saw Lotta smiling and even laughing with the Human female, she let out a relieved chuckle and came to the conclusion that it was probably safe to enter.
"Dearest Rocky, come meet my new friend!" Lotta cried in Elfish once she caught a glimpse of Rocky standing in the doorway.
Ellen turned around as well and did a quick check-over of the tough-looking Yuletide Elf who stepped into the office. "Uh-huh, that figures… a butch," she said and broke out in a grin.
"Rocky," Lotta said, wrapping an arm around her dearest friend's waist, "this is Miss Ellen… she's really, really nice and not a threat at all. Please say hello to her."
"Greetings, Miss Ellen," Rocky said in near-perfect Human. Putting out her hand, she briefly shook Ellen's in the style preferred by the Humans before she pulled back so she wouldn't get any Human-cooties. "I hope my dearest friend here hasn't talked your ears off?"
"Nah, we're all cool in here, Rocky," Ellen said with a grin. "So you've been together for a year or so?"
Rocky eyed Lotta who snickered into her hand. She and the Human female had obviously talked about subjects that the Human world didn't need to know about, but since it was already out there, there was no point in denying it. "We have, Miss Ellen. Since last Yuletide… well, even before that, but that was when it turned solid."
"That's so great… so you don't think Santa will mind that I ask for a new girlfriend?"
"Not in the least, Miss Ellen. Lotta did that last year… didn't you, sweet Lotta?"
"Yes!" Lotta said in Human, although it was hard for her to speak considering how broad the grin that had been plastered all over her features actually was. "I just tell Miss Ellen how after my letter came you."
Reeling at the broken Human, Rocky offered her sweetheart an embarrassed, little smirk. "Lotta, we really, really need to get you to some language classes…" she said in Elfish.
"I know, dearest Rocky," Lotta replied in Elfish before she turned back to Ellen. "I have big idea… Santa upstairs now. You could letter… no… give him letter in hand."
"Nah, that's just a damn faker like the rest of 'em," Ellen said and drained the last coffee out of her mug.
Lotta narrowed her eyes as she tried to parse the difficult word. She could feel she was close to an important development, and the fact that she couldn't understand everything was steadily climbing to be a ten on the tickle-monster scale. "Faker? Uh… do not understand…"
Even Rocky had a hard time understanding the slang, but unlike Lotta, she didn't want to lose face by asking, so she kept quiet.
"It's just someone who pretends to be Santa Claus," Ellen continued. "Some random fat dude in a red suit. Trust me, I see a hundred Santas each Chris- uh, Yuletide in apartment stores, and none of those guys are real."
"No, no… this Santa real Santa. Real Santa upstairs now!" -- "This one is the real Santa, Miss Ellen!" Lotta and Rocky said as one.
Ellen spun around so fast that Rocky and Lotta jumped back. Undeterred, Ellen leaned down and grabbed hold of Lotta's narrow shoulders so she could look the petite Elf in the eye. "You're not kiddin' me? That's the real Santa Claus up in the lobby?"
"Uh… yes!" Lotta squeaked.
"I gotta catch him!" Ellen said and jumped up from the swivel-chair. Snatching the letter she had written, she was out of the office in such a hurry that even the Elves with all their schmutting experience were impressed. A split second later, Ellen popped her head back into the doorway. "Will ya be here when I get back?"
Lotta shook her head.
"Then I just wanna say thanks one helluva lot, Epilotta! There's a buncha yummy cookies in the second drawer… help yourselves!"
Whenever the 'cookie'-word is brought up in a conversation with an Elf, all other things fade into the background. Zipping over to the desk, Lotta pulled out the second drawer and stared wide-eyed at a plastic bin of macaroons dipped in coconut shavings. "Oh… Rocky! Coconut cookies!" she said, pulling the lid off the bin to get one - or possibly two. Or three.
-*-*-*-
The rest of the schmutting job went according to plan for Rocky and Lotta. Working together as a well-buttered unit, they were on top of the task at hand and zipped in and out of the rooms on the upper floor of the dormitory distributing the last of the presents.
The cargo manifest had been accurate, and the last present - a square box in gold-and-black wrapping paper - was put under a small Yuletree in the last room on the near-side of the hallway. Grinning, Lotta dusted off her hands to show they were done.
Once they had completed the entire floor in Elfin-world record time, they took the opportunity to kiss a little before they were to begin the trek back to the sleigh up on the flat roof.
Lotta whistled an old Yuletide favorite through her teeth as she strolled down the hallway. Putting out her arm, she hooked it inside Rocky's and pulled herself close to her dearest friend. The two Elves smiled at each other on their way over to the elevator that would take them down into the basement. From there, they would take the well-traveled road by schmutting back up to the roof through the brick chimney.
Cheers and random commotion from down below made Lotta run over to the nearest window in the hallway and look down onto the parking lot. Santa's sleigh was still parked there, and a handful of children ran around it to check it and the reindeer out. Pressing her forehead and her aching nose up against the window pane, she could see more and more children filing out into the lot, most likely signaling the end of Santa's appearance at the relief care home. "I think they're just about done now… I can't see Santa yet, though."
"All right. In that case, we need to be cautious," Rocky said, giving the cargo manifest a casual, final glance. Refolding it to make it fit into her pocket, her eyes grew wide for a moment when she realized a few lines of text had been written in the bottom-right corner on the back of the document - something that she hadn't noticed before. "What the cotton-candy…?" she mumbled, causing Lotta to come over to her to investigate.
"What seems to be the problem, dearest Rocky?" Lotta said, almost sticking her aching nose down onto the cargo manifest.
Smirking, Rocky looked down the hallway at a door with a frosted glass pane. It was similar - if not identical - to the one a floor below that had acted as a community room, except that it had the words 'Therapy Room' written on it. She looked back down at the manifest to re-read the penciled words that formed their instructions. A sense of annoyance, and not a little panic, bubbled up inside her, and she had to read them a third time just to be sure. Sighing, she folded the cargo manifest and stuck it into her pocket. "Oh, not much… just a teeny-tiny tickle-monster."
"Whut? Where? Is it a troll?" Lotta said, whipping her head left and right to see if any nasty, hairy trolls had snuck up on them without her noticing.
"Not quite, sweet Lotta… but it's definitely a tickle-monster. As our last job here, we're supposed to go in there," - Rocky nodded at the frosted glass door - "and prepare a group of house pets so they're ready for a little petting therapy when the Human children return."
"Uh… so?"
"They're dogs, Lotta," Rocky said in a dark tone. "Mutts. Vicious mutts, I'll bet."
"What?" Lotta croaked; her usually so ruddy complexion almost turned white by the chill that ran through her system. "Are you sure you're holding it right, Rocky? Remember the time where I held the manifest wrong and forty-four turned into twenty-two? Or was it the other way 'round? No, I'm sure forty-four turned into twenty-two… but I could be wrong…"
Rocky chuckled and reached out to caress her sweetheart's arm. "I remember. But that's not the case here. There are mutts in there, and we need to prepare them for when the children return."
"Prepare them? How?" Lotta said in a strangled voice. She had to gulp several times while she waited for Rocky's reply. If the dark, somber look on the sleigh-driver's face was anything to go by, they were about to enter a world where the tickle-monsters ruled the roost.
"Feed them."
"Oh. Sugar. Plum. Mush," Lotta uttered with such conviction that nothing further needed to be said.
---
While Lotta held the sliding door with the frosted glass pane a few inches ajar, Rocky peeked inside. She only had an eye and half a nose beyond the doorjamb, but that was all she needed to learn that she and her sweetheart had their work cut out for them. There were dogs in there, all right, and most of them were off a leash and minding their own business while they waited for their masters to return.
Stepping back, Rocky signaled to Lotta that she should close the sliding door again. "Oh, cotton-candy!" she grumbled, pulling the manifest from her pocket. "There must be some mistake… who in their right Elfin-mind would send two Elves into a room that's full of ugly, hairy, smelly, vicious mutts?! But it says so right there, and in black on white… look," she said, showing Lotta the manifest.
"Oh, may the Great Elf show some mercy on her faithful followers Epilotta Elf and Rockabye Elf," Lotta mumbled after reading the handwritten words on the document. "And just before the Night of Nights, too! Oh, Mammi and Pappi will become sad, sad, old Elves if their only daughter-Elf… namely me! Will end up shredded to… uh… shreds… by these mutts! Rocky, please tell me how we're gonna get this done without getting shredded?"
"Carefully, sweet Lotta. Very, very carefully," Rocky said glumly as she crumpled the manifest in her hand.
---
The therapy room was held in bright, joyous colors. It had a non-descript short-napped carpet on the floor, and the walls were mostly bare save for two posters promoting a well-known cartoon show playing on television. There were low pouffes everywhere so the kids had something to sit on while they played with the pets, and several cages containing smaller animals like guinea pigs, hamsters and mice lined the outer walls.
When the two Elves inched inside the room with bated breaths, what seemed like half a dozen puppies came bounding over to them. Soon, the air was filled with plenty of happy yapping and wagging tails. The puppies flocked around the short legs of the two Elves which made it difficult for them to walk around without stepping on paws or tripping over pouffes.
"Lotta, find some drinking bowls for those mutts… I'll grab the water," Rocky said, treading her way through the mess of wagging, yapping puppies. There were happy, little dogs everywhere, but most of them were cute, cuddly and not very large at all. She began feeling better about the whole thing, and especially so when she spotted the feed and water they were supposed to use reclining against the back wall of the room.
While Lotta found and distributed the drinking bowls with a trembling hand, Rocky carried the heavy water container back to the center of the room. The first few bowls were filled without drama, and she even caught herself thinking that all the happy, young puppies looked cute as they flocked to the fresh water. As she poured the cool liquid into the fourth bowl, a familiar, guttural sound echoed through the therapy room.
Grrrrrowl?
"Sweet Lotta," Rocky whispered out of the corner of her mouth, "how in the Elfin world can your tummy be empty already? You just had a handful of coconut cookies!"
"But… that wasn't-"
Grrrrrrrrrrowl!
"Lotta, we need to get this done so we can get the cotton-candy out of here! We've got no time to think about snacks now!" Rocky whispered.
Lotta's eyes grew wider and wider as the truth dawned on her. "It's not my tummy growling!" she whispered back in a trembling voice.
Rocky stopped pouring the water into the bowls but remained hunkered over in the middle of the therapy room. All she could do was breathe, but even that was labored from the growing nervousness that rolled through her. A black shadow fell over the wall; the shadow was ahead of her, and the light was behind her - which meant that whatever the evil, growling tickle-monster was, it wasn't too far back. There was little doubt in her mind that it was ready to sink its canines into her Elfin tush, but she would prefer that part of her anatomy to remain untouched by doggy-fangs. "Lotta… can you see what it is?" she said in a hoarse whisper.
"Uh-huh…" Lotta said, turning around slowly so she wouldn't spook the critter. When she got an eyeful of the beast, she wished she hadn't.
"Is it a mutt?"
"Uh-huh…"
"A vicious mutt?"
"Uh-huh."
"A great, big, huge vicious mutt?"
"Uhhh-huhhh!"
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob," Rocky croaked as she stared into the therapy room with eyes that didn't see much beyond her own funeral. Gulping down a big knot that had formed in her throat, she twisted around on her axis the slowest she possibly could.
As the beast came into her field of view, she pulled her lips back in a horrified grimace. It was a great, big, huge vicious mutt like she had feared, but it was even worse than that. It was a drooling, growling, blond-furred, two-foot-five-inches tall, four-legged creature straight out of the deepest, darkest troll marsh. Though her brain had already gone into 'escape now or regret it later'-mode, she recognized the breed of the mutt - it was a Golden Retriever, one of the worst types for shredding Elves.
All the little puppies went into a yapping frenzy at the appearance of their mother. Their tails wagged like crazy as they tore around the room in a happy state searching for the feed that usually went with the water. When the feed didn't come, they got confused and began to let out pitiful, little confused howls and yaps that made their drooling, growling mother turn her furry head and look at them.
"Lotta…?" Rocky whispered. She was still holding the heavy water container, and its weight was beginning to bother her lower back. Grimacing, she looked around for somewhere to put it down. She couldn't just drop the open container where she stood since it would create a tsunami that would wreck the entire room, and that definitely wasn't in their job description. Ultimately, she decided to crouch down and put it carefully against one of the pouffes. "Lotta… are you still here or have you fainted?" she whispered again when her first question had remained unanswered.
"Uh-huh!"
"I'll take that as a 'yes, I'm still here.' Good," Rocky said and let her experienced schmutting-eye roam the therapy room. The door they had used to get in was out of the picture since the vicious mutt stood between them and freedom, but there were other items in there they could use to make a dash for the outside. In the upper right corner of the windows at the back of the room, a small vent had been left open, and it appeared to be just large enough for an Elf or two. It would be risky, but anything would be better than to be shredded by the golden-furred, drooling tickle-monster that had begun to breathe heavily. "You. Me. Escape. Pouffes. Curtains. Window. Now."
"Uh-huh… buh… whut? Window? What window? Not that window?!" Lotta squeaked, looking at the set of windows at the far end of the room. They offered a nice view of the landscape outside, but that appeared to be all they were good for. "That itty-bitty vent-thingy down there isn't large enough to squeeze my lunch through! Oh, ye Great Elf!"
"Yes, Lotta, that window…"
"What have we done to deserve this?! Oh, ye Great Elf!" Lotta cried again, but her squeals attracted the attention of the Golden Retriever at once, and she shut her jaws with an audible clunk.
Rocky let out a grunt at her sweetheart's nervousness, but she shot her a quick smile to offset the dark sound. "Lotta, please listen to me… we've gotta get up on the pouffes… follow my lead. Can you do that? Just follow my lead… we need to get out of here in one cotton-candy of a hurry!"
"Can't argue with that, dearest Rocky! All- all right… I'll try…"
"That's all I can ask for… here we go!"
Crawling up on the nearest pouffe, Rocky soon found herself a further foot-and-a-half in the air. Down below, the vicious mutt let out a confused growl, but soon released a ferocious bark that blew Rocky's hair back from her face. The first bark was soon followed by many more, and they made Rocky bare her teeth in an ugly grimace. "And the mask of civility finally came off that hairy beast. I knew it would," she growled, eyeing the next pouffe. "Lotta! Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be!" Lotta squeaked, having followed her friend up on the pouffe nearest to her. She looked around in a hurry to plot her course over to the windows. It would be a difficult task as her pouffes were further apart than those on Rocky's side of the room, but she had no option but to go for it.
"All right… now jump to the next one! Jump, Lotta! Get to the windows!" While Rocky yelled her command to Lotta, she jumped over to the next pouffe, then the next, then the next after that. For each jump, the barking produced by the Golden Retriever became angrier and angrier, and all the puppies soon joined the chorus by yapping their little heads off.
Rocky and Lotta hopped, jumped and skipped through the therapy room to get to the windows overlooking the landscape outside the dormitory. At one point, Lotta had a poor landing on one of her pouffes, and she had to flap her arms like a crazed mountain hare to remain upright. The air-raid siren-like howl that escaped her lips during her plight only added to the dogs' frenzy, but she managed to stay erect and was soon jumping to the next pouffe.
By the time Lotta made it to the window, Rocky had just climbed up on the windowsill. Save for the curtains, there wasn't much for the two Elves to grab onto for their final climb up to the open vent window. "Oh, Great Elf… this is your faithful follower Epilotta Elf!" Lotta said and clapped her hands together in prayer. "Now would be a really, really and I really do mean a really, really good time to come to our assistance!"
"Grab the curtains, sweet Lotta! We need to schmut up there," Rocky said and grabbed hold of the heavy curtains. She gave them a strong tug to see if they would hold, and they did. Jumping up, she let herself dangle for a moment to check it an extra time, but it was able to support her weight with no dramas. "It works! C'mon!"
Down below, the Golden Retriever and all the little puppies had assembled near the foot of the window, and the disharmonic concert they produced with their barking and yapping was enough to drive any regular Elf to despair.
Rocky schmutted upstairs first and soon reached the vent window. She was larger than her sweetheart, but she was able to squeeze her body through the square opening with little fuss. There was a chilly wind blowing outside, but it was nothing a tough Greenlander Elf hadn't experienced a thousand times before. While she inched along the external windowsill to make room for Lotta, she cast a few, quick peeks up and down to gauge if their best option would be to climb up to the roof, or down to the ground. The roof was closest, so she nodded and began to plot the best route up there.
Inside the therapy room, Lotta breathed deeply to get her wobbling nerves under control. The heavy curtains felt secure in her petite hands, so she began to schmut upstairs while the mutts accompanied her from down on the floor. The tiny vent at the top of the windows seemed to be a league away, but she crept closer to it all the time. Finally arriving at the vent, she swung her tush around to sit on the window frame. "Rocky?" she said over her shoulder. "Is it safe to come out?"
"Yes, sweet Lotta! Certainly far safer than down there!" Rocky said from somewhere outside.
Nodding, Lotta put her boot up on the window frame and pressed herself through the narrow gap. Her precious A-Team hat was nearly knocked off by the upper part of the frame, but she managed to grab hold of it and mash it down onto her flaming red locks before it could fly off and fall down to the jaws of doom. Jumping down onto the external windowsill, she cast a glance at the landscape surrounding them. All she could think of was a well-buttered raisin bun, however, so she had little time for the countryside.
"Lotta, look up!" Rocky said somewhere above her, making her do just that - her dearest friend clung onto the pale-yellow bricks that made up the outside wall of the dormitory, but although she was only hanging on by her strong fingers, it looked less dangerous than the chamber of horrors they had just left behind.
"It's real easy to climb up… the roof isn't far!" Rocky continued before she resumed scaling the wall to get to the flat roof.
"And the well-buttered raisin buns are even closer!" Lotta said, searching for - and finding - a way up.
-*-*-*-
Life up on the rooftop had been dull and uneventful for the big, strong Sammi-Sima and the second-in-hand Gustaf while the Elves had taken care of their schmutting job, but the two reindeer had at least shared a few, humorous anecdotes during the interminable wait that had brought them closer together as a pulling unit. Scraping noises from the edge of the flat roof made both of them bray and look over there.
Rocky reached the roof first since she had been ahead the whole time, and no sooner did she put her boots on the flat, coarse surface before she knelt down and reached over the edge to give her sweetheart a helping hand to climb up the final two feet. "Here you go, sweet Lotta… grab my hand," she said and tried to make her short arm the longest it could possibly be.
"Thank you!" Lotta said and grabbed hold of the hand. Up on the roof in no time flat, she took a moment or two to let out a sigh of relief. The very next moment after that, breathing couldn't have been further from her mind as she pressed her lips against Rocky's and proceeded to kiss the tough, long-haul sleigh-driver senseless.
When they broke contact, they let out identical goofy snickers and leaned their foreheads against each other's. They remained close at first to nibble a little, but soon shuffled hand in hand over to the sleigh and the waiting reindeer.
"Well, that was nice," Rocky said, running her hand up and down Lotta's arm.
"That wasn't just nice, it was nicey-nice," Lotta said and let out another goofy snicker. "Actually, it was better than nicey-nice… it was… mmmm… oh-so-yummy-nicey-nice. Yeah."
Rocky soon joined her dearest friend in letting out a goofy snicker, and they swung their hands back and forth on their way over to the sleigh. "Oh, I'm glad those vicious mutts didn't get a piece of you, sweet Lotta. I like all your pieces exactly where they are now, thank-the-Elf-very-much!"
"Awwww… the Great Elf listened to our prayers. The puppies were kinda cute, though. Don't you think, Rocky?"
"Perhaps so… but even the cutest pup grows up to be a drooling, Elf-shredding piece of meanness."
The sugary snack food they had down in the storage area spoke louder than the memories of the mutts they had evaded, and Rocky had soon climbed up into the sleigh to open the fur-covered bench seat. "What do you fancy, Lotta? We still have some buns and cookies left. Oh, and some pastries like raspberry tarts and even a few apricot dumplings. Or how about a Welch-bread?"
"Oh, Great Elf… that's a toughie! Mmmmm," Lotta said, shimmying back and forth. Unable to decide, she held up her hand and began to count off on her fingers. "Raspberry tarts… or apricot dumplings… or the good, old Welch bread… I don't kn- I think I'll take the raspb- no. Maybe the apri- no. Oh, the entire way up, I dreamt of sticking my teeth into a thick layer of butter on a raisin bun, but now… I think I'll just go with the Welch bread. That's so yummy too! Actually, they're all yummy… but the Welch bread is just yummier somehow. I think it's the-"
To cut Lotta's long-winded decision process short, Rocky skipped to the chase and handed her sweetheart the paper bag that contained the sugary pastry.
"Ooooh! And the raspberry jam is really runny!" Lotta said, hopping up and down as she peeked into the bag. "Do you wanna share my Welch bread?"
"Nope! I'm gonna get me some gingerbread… oh yeah," Rocky said and once more dug into the storage to get her own bag. After checking that it really was her gingerbread and that it was in good shape, she grabbed the paper bag and moved back. Slamming the lid to the storage area, she sat down on the bench seat and pulled out the dark-brown pastry with the perfect layer of crunchy chocolate, and the yummy, runny honey inside.
The first bite made her lean her head back and break out in a throaty groan. Once she had chewed it for all it was worth to get every last grain of flavor out of it, she swallowed and let out a satisfied sigh at the rich taste. "Oh, there's nothing like gingerbread after a job well done. Yummy!"
Chuckling at the noises produced by her dearest friend, Lotta dug into the paper bag and found the Welch bread that had nearly been soaked through by the raspberry jam and the white frosting. "I think I'm beginning to rub off on you, Rocky. You're starting to sound like me now," she said before she put an end to all conversation by stuffing one end of the runny pastry into her yap.
The two Elves munched on their Yuletide pastries for a while in complete silence - apart from the sounds made when they reached a particularly yummy section - but a certain thirst soon made its presence felt. "Sweet white ale?" Rocky said, standing up so she could enter the storage room again.
Lotta was too busy chewing, so she answered by nodding. It wasn't long before Rocky handed her an opened bottle of the cool, fresh, sugary ale, and she put it to her lips at once.
"Ah-ah!" Rocky admonished, wagging an index finger in a humorous fashion. "First a toast… to Epilotta and Rockabye's health! Santa's A-Team Elves who once again got the job done… not to mention escaped certain shredding at the jaws of golden-furred doom!"
Grinning, Lotta let out a "To our health!" before she put the bottle back to her lips and took several deep gulps of the sweet ale. Ahhhhh-ing, she moved the bottle away and held it up against the faint sun. "Dearest Rocky… if there's one thing I'll never, ever, ever in the rest of my Elfin days… uh… understand, it's why it's called white ale when it's so clearly brown. The foam's brown too! All right, kinda pale-brown, but definitely not white…"
"Well, it's like this…" Rocky said, gesturing like she was about to explain the whole Elfin thing in two easy lessons or less.
Lotta leaned into the sleigh and watched her dearest friend with wide open eyes. "Yes?" she breathed.
"I haven't a clue," Rocky continued, sticking out her tongue at her friend. She did a quick salute to the gobsmacked Elf before she took another healthy swig of her own bottle of sweet ale.
"Oh, Great Elf, now I know for a fact I'm rubbing off on you, Miss Rockabye! You big tease, you! You're in an awfully good mood all of a sudden," Lotta said, snickering into her hand.
"Well, we're both still here… that's enough cause for silliness right there. Let's eat, drink and be merry like proper Yuletide Elves."
"True… ooooh! Do you wanna sing a Yuletide favorite?" Lotta said and put her bottle and the half-eaten Welch-bread down on the fur-covered bench seat so she could have her hands free to conduct the imaginary choir that was sure to make an appearance. "Please say yes, dearest Rocky! Oh, it's been so long since we've sung any Yuletide favorites…"
"How about Jingle Bells, sweet Lotta?"
"Oh, Yes!" - Lotta quickly downed the rest of the sweet white ale in one gulp to have enough juice for her singing engine which was about to be kicked to life. "Ohhh-hhh-hhh… jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the- wait, you're not singing…"
"Hang on, hang on, Lotta… Jingle Bells needs a little extra," Rocky said and dove into the storage area to retrieve their jingle-stick, the special piece of Elfin equipment that all long-haul sleigh-drivers carried in their sleighs.
A multi-purpose tool, the jingle-stick had often been pressed into duty as an alarm system, a musical instrument, or even a homing beacon. The long metal stick was covered in little bells that created the most wonderful, harmonic concert when shaken, and only a select few Elves could withstand the pull of the little bells - it simply had to be shook at regular intervals.
Lotta let out a squeal as she took in the sight of the metal object. "Our jingle-stick! Oh, this is gonna be special! Come on, Rocky!" she said, drawing a deep breath to have enough air for at least the first few lines of the lyrics. "Ohhhh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaaay-"
On cue, Rocky joined her sweetheart in singing the Yuletide traditional. The jingle-stick was given a strenuous workout, and the whole scene could only have been more Elfin if there had been a Yuletree, a chain-dance and a bowl of rice pudding involved.
-*-*-*-
Once the bad frights created by the vicious mutts, their drooling tickle-monster of a mother and finally the dangers of the daring escape had been thoroughly smashed to bits by the merry singing and the jingle-stick - not to mention the sweet white ale, the gingerbread and the yummy Welch bread - an Elfin good time was had by all.
The two Elves had made themselves comfortable up on the flatbed of the sleigh, lying side by side and basking in each other's presence while observing the pale-gray sky above. Santa's familiar rumbling laugh, and cheers made by young voices from somewhere down on the parking lot, suggested it was time to get back to work. Soon, their pointy ears were assaulted by the horrendous noise created by the wooden runners on Santa's sleigh as they were abused on the coarse, paved road.
Rocky and Lotta looked at each other and let out identical, goofy snickers as they snuggled up tight one last time. "Oh, we better," Rocky said and began to shuffle around so she could sit up.
"Don't wanna…" Lotta said, keeping a tight grip on her flatbed-mate.
Rocky leaned down again for a brief moment, but all she did was to place a little kiss on Lotta's lips. "I think we have to, sweet Lotta. C'mon," she whispered, tracing the petite Elf's features with an index finger.
"Oh, all right… corn-on-a-cob," Lotta said and sat up. After stretching her Elfin body this way and that, she looked over her shoulder at the short runway that stretched out to the far end of the flat roof. "Rocky… are we even going to get in the air? It looks far, far too short from where I'm sitting…"
Rocky winced when her back cracked and popped upon stretching it. "Oooh, I'm getting old," she mumbled as she got to her feet to check out the flat roof for herself. "It's short, yes… but we should be able to make it."
" 'Should,' " Lotta echoed, "I'm not sure I like the word 'should,' dearest Rocky. I think I would like 'will' much better." With very little effort, the young, agile Elf jumped to her feet and hopped over the edge of the flatbed. She ran around the sleigh a couple of times to get the circulation going, and then she sat down on the fur-covered bench seat so she would be ready for the big show.
Grunting, Rocky shuffled up to Sammi-Sima and Gustaf to check the harnesses and the countless other, little things she needed to do prior to each take-off. With everything appearing to be in good order, she rubbed the flanks of the big, strong lead animal that responded by letting out a good-humored braying. "I know, girl… this is gonna be tough," Rocky said for Sammi-Sima's ears only. "But you can make it, no worries. Just work those hooves and we'll be fine."
The pre-flight procedures over and done with, Rocky climbed up into the sleigh and grabbed the reins. A quick check proved they couldn't get any further towards the back edge of the flat roof, and that meant they wouldn't have anything in reserve in case the runway would prove to be too short after all. "Are you ready, sweet Lotta?" Rocky said, offering her sweetheart a smile.
"Yup!" Lotta said, grabbing hold of the rail atop the buckboard. Shuffling around on the fur so her tush was happy, she clenched her jaw so she wouldn't say or do anything that would either embarrass or disturb Rocky during the important take-off phase.
"And here we go," Rocky said and slapped the reins. "Yah! Yah, Sammi-Sima! Yah, Gustaf! Gimme all you've got! Yah!"
The two reindeer did what Rocky asked of them and set off in a rocket-like start. Their hooves almost drew sparks from the coarse surface of the flat roof as they clip-clopped along, and the speed climbed at a much higher rate than usual, of course aided by the low weight of the empty sleigh.
Even so, the far edge of the roof came up all too fast. Rocky bared her teeth in a grimace when she realized that real world physics had just caught up with her hypothetical calculations. Slapping the reins even harder, she hunkered down to offer as little drag as possible, but it would be awfully close no matter what she and Lotta did. Upon reaching the last fifty feet, she let out a loud, incoherent grunt and began to tug the reins the hardest she ever had to get Sammi-Sima and Gustaf off the ground prematurely.
"Oooooooooooooooooooooh!" Lotta howled despite all her intentions of keeping quiet and not disturbing her dearest friend. Slamming her eyes shut, she gripped the rail so hard it nearly buckled.
"Giddyup! Giddyup, Sammi-Sima! Oh, sugar plum mush!" Rocky roared, giving the reins another hard tug.
Up front, Sammi-Sima let out a barked command at Gustaf that seemed to do the trick. The two reindeer found an extra ounce of strength somewhere and reached take-off speed in the shortest distance they ever had. Pulling up, they had their hooves and thus the sleigh's stainless steel runners off the coarse surface a mere three feet from the edge of the roof.
As the sleigh crossed over the brick parapet, the left runner scraped along the top edge of the bricks and sent the vehicle into a wobble. Sammi-Sima and Gustaf each tried to compensate, but they did so by pulling in opposite directions - and as a result, the sleigh lost its forward momentum and went into a nosedive that saw it dropping like a stone.
The Elfin world seemed to slow down to a crawl as the potentially horrific event unfolded. Lotta shrieked, Rocky cursed, Sammi-Sima brayed, and Gustaf had a series of little accidents that littered the ground in several spots along the finely-groomed lawn.
During the next split second, Rocky roared again and tugged the reins to get everything under control. Lotta's shrieks went into a register hitherto unreached by Elfin voices, and Sammi-Sima finally took the matters into her own hooves by going into a frenzied, spare-no-reindeer, double-speed gallop that made the whole sleigh level out ten inches before it would have dug a nasty hole in the lawn.
After the sleigh had regained at least some semblance of control, Rocky grabbed the reins and gave them a few slaps to let Sammi-Sima know she and Gustaf should continue skimming the waves of the body of water while getting the cotton-candy out of there to avoid being spotted by anyone.
The lead reindeer responded by offering Rocky a relieved braying before she turned her head and gave Gustaf a strong, square-edged piece of her mind.
"Santa's Suspenders… that was close…" Rocky mumbled, wiping cold, clammy sweat off her brow. Her hand trembled as she did so, but it was still better than the alternative. "Sweet Lotta, are you all right?"
"All right?" Lotta squeaked in a raw voice, trying to pry her white, cold fingers off the rail atop the buckboard. "I don't know… am I? I think I am… but I don't know… On the fir-hirst da- day of Yu-hoo-hoo-le-ti- ti- tide, my sweet- sweetheart gave to meeeee… oh, ye Great Elf, that was another close shave!"
"Yeah."
They flew on in silence for a few minutes before Lotta slid across the bench seat and dug herself into Rocky's strong side. "Now I'm all right," she whispered, snuggling up tight.
"Awwww," Rocky said, wrapping an arm around her sweetheart's shoulder. A splash of color somewhere on their starboard flank made her look in that direction, and she soon spotted Santa's sleigh that was once again pulled by all eight elite reindeer. "Look, there's Santa," she continued, giving Lotta a little nudge.
Santa waved at his A-Team and gave them a big thumbs-up before he pointed ahead - towards Greenland.
Waving back, Rocky and Lotta watched the eight reindeer shoot up in the sky at a far greater speed than their own two-in-hand could manage despite Sammi-Sima and Gustaf's best efforts.
"Oh, by the Great Elf, they're fast!" Lotta said as she tracked the colorful sleigh disappearing into the middle distance. Soon, it was merely a reddish dot in the pale-gray sky.
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I'm here, you're here… we're going home, and we're having an Elfin good time. What more can an Elf ask for?"
Lotta broke out in a wide grin as she craned her neck to kiss Rocky's cheek. "Oh… maybe a song? Maybe…" - Taking a deep breath, Lotta started belting out one of her most favorite Yuletide songs, and doing so at the top of her lungs: "Ohhhh, it's so good to be an Elf! Elves, always so kind and warm and free! Elves, the best friends you could ever hope to have! Ohhhhhhh, we're Elves, Elves, Elves. We always have an Elfin good time! Elves, Elves, Elves. And we're simply so cute and fiiiiine! Come on, Rocky… let's sing it again! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's so good to be an Elf…!"
*
*
THE END of AN ELF'S MOST SOLEMN TASK
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
4: "Epilotta Takes The Reins"
When Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf stepped outside her Pine Cone Villa just after lunch on December twenty-second, she wore her hooded, Yuletide-red parka, her pale-blue mittens, a pair of dark-green, wraparound schmutting pants, black boots, and a sorely miffed expression on her fair face.
Not even the wonderful sight of the vast piles of snow that reached out as far as her Elfin eye could see improved her state of mind. More snow had arrived just in time for the Season to be Jolly, so Lotta's Elfin neighbors were all out enjoying themselves in the bright-white world that had been formed.
She waved at a few, including Trickamore Elf, who were out skiing on Chestnut Street, building snow-people, or simply playing in the snow, but Elfin happiness couldn't have been further from her mind following the tickle-monster of a morning she had had.
After closing the front door behind her - no Elf had locked their front door since the birth of the Great Elf herself, so Lotta didn't either - she shuffled down the snow-covered garden path to get to the street. The snow creaked rhythmically whenever she put her boots down, and that finally brought just a teeny-tiny smile to her lips that had hitherto only been straight, colorless lines in her face.
The sight and sound of her dearest friend Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf's custom-built sleigh rounding the corner of the street that Rocky always used as a short-cut prompted a genuine smile to form on Lotta's face, and she stepped down to the curb to wave at her companion.
When Rocky brought the sleigh to a halt by whoa'ing the single reindeer, Lotta hurried into the street and jumped up into the tough, long-haul driver's side of the sleigh. Stretching out her arms, she wrapped them around Rocky's strong body and gave her an almighty crush.
"Cotton-candy!" Rocky said in a voice muffled by the Yuletide-red parka. "Greetings, sweet Lotta! May the Great Elf grant me such an enthusiastic welcome each time we meet… huh?" - Sniff, sniff - "Uh… Lotta… did you take up smoking the pipe?"
"No," Lotta said, pulling back from her dearest friend. "I had an accident in the kitchen. Greetings, dearest Rocky."
Rocky took hold of her sweetheart's arms and gave them a few, little rubs to improve the younger Elf's downcast mood. "Ouch. Are you all right, sweet Lotta? Do you still have all your fingers and toes and stuff?"
"Uh-huh…"
"I hope the accident wasn't a biggie…?"
"Well… it kinda was," Lotta said, nodding in an all-too somber fashion.
"Oh… I'm so, so sorry to hear that. Do you still wanna go, or…?"
"I'd still like to go, yes. It'll take my mind off the disappointment," Lotta said and jumped down onto the street. Shuffling around the single reindeer in a hurry, she climbed up on her regular side of the sleigh and got her tush comfortable on the fur-covered bench seat. "By the way… that's not Sammi-Sima or Gustaf?"
Rocky slapped the reins to make the single reindeer up front know they should continue down the snowy Chestnut Street. "No, Canute Elf called me to ask if he could borrow Gustaf for the Season to be Jolly. There's some bug or another going around among the reindeer so they're several animals short out at the factory. Sammi-Sima got it too so she's a little under the weather. This here mighty fine fellow is Scepter… I've borrowed him for the day from my other next-door neighbor."
"Greetings, Scepter!" Lotta cried, waving her mittened hand. "I'm Epilotta Elf… pleased to meet you!"
Scepter responded by shaking his back and letting out a bray or two.
Chuckling, Lotta scooted over to snuggle up next to her dearest friend. Once there, she let out a contented sigh that seemed to allow all the negativity to escape her Elfin being.
"Lotta, are you going to tell me what happened in the accident?" Rocky said, reaching down to wrap an arm around her sweetheart. "And why you smell of smoke?"
"Oh, Rocky, I've had a tickle-monster of a morning… and it all started so well! I made pancakes and my favorite blend of Yule-tea. Yummy! But then I decided to try a new cake recipe I was given down at the grocer's. It sounded really, really yummy… a variation of the traditional Norse Elf apple charlotte." - deep breath - "This one had sliced apples, marzipan, a sprinkling of cinnamon and plenty of butter… the ingredients should be mixed well, put into an oven-proof dish and then, whoosh, into the oven. Oh, and I made a ton of whipped cream 'cos they said that if I put it on the charlotte when it was fresh out of the oven and still steaming hot, the whipped cream would melt but retain some of its creamy puffiness… it would be Elfin heaven."
"Oh, Great Elf… that sounds awesomely yummy…"
"I know, right! So I went to work mixing all those yummy, yummy ingredients, and it took an eternity to get everything done, and then I whooshed it into the oven…" - deep breath - "but there must have been a misprint somewhere in the recipe, 'cos all of a sudden, the yummy charlotte turned black as a lump of coal inside the oven, and the cotton-candy thing began smoking like a tickle-monster. And not just a regular tickle-monster, but a really, really angry, upset tickle-monster with a tooth ache!"
"Ouch…"
"And when I flew around my kitchen trying to quell the smoke and get the cotton-candy lump of coal out of my oven, I bumped into the bowl of whipped cream, and splat! Onto the floor it went… onto the floor and all over my clogs and socks and my dress and the cabinets and even in under the kitchen table and everywhere!" - deep breath - "Ack, my beloved whipped cream that I had worked so hard on to get just right! And I had only dipped a pinkie into it to sample the quality, so I didn't even get any of it…! And it was the last cream I had!" - Deep breath - "And then I was a sad, sad, little Elf and I didn't even get to taste the charlotte and I was so, so miserable but then you showed up and my world was right side up again 'cos" - deep breath - "I love you so much and I hope you know that, dearest, dearest Rocky."
Staring wide-eyed at her sweetheart and the non-stop flow of words that spewed forth from her lips, Rocky nodded and smiled and nodded a little more while she waited for a gap long enough to get a word in edgewise. "Oh, I do, sweet Lotta. I love you too. But, oh my Great Elf, what a tickle-monster of a morning…"
"You can say that again… my kitchen smelled like the inside of a blacksmith's cauldron! There was smoke everywhere. It took me nearly an hour just to get it all out… and by then, I was miffed."
"I can imagine," Rocky said and pulled her sweetheart even closer. "Lotta, I have a proposition for you. After we're done today, would you like to come home to my place for a little snack and some warm milk with honey? Please say yes."
"Oh! Oh, I'd love to, dearest Rocky. That was why I wanted to make the apple charlotte in the first place… so we could share it in front of the fireplace. Yes, please," Lotta said with a wistful smile plastered onto her face.
Grinning back, Rocky slapped the reins to get Scepter to speed up and thus make the day go by quicker. "Great. I can't wait!"
-*-*-*-
The next part of their little pleasure cruise through the snow-covered streets of Elf Springs ended when they arrived at their destination: an open square on the southern outskirts of the Elf capital that had been converted into a practice ground by a few, crafty Elves. There, inexperienced sleigh-drivers could rent reindeer and sleighs, and work on improving their driving skills on a closed course with professional instructors by their side.
'Welcome to the Elf Springs Test Track - proprietors Randolph Elf and Carl-Svenning Elf,' was written on a sign on the spruce fence surrounding the area. The test track had the distinction of being the only piece of real estate in the entire Elfin realm that was fenced-in, but following an accident where a junior-Elf had lost control of his stampeding reindeer - that had subsequently left the track and had gone the wrong way down a nearby one-way lane much to the vocal horror of the oncoming traffic - it had been decided to erect a fence all around the facility.
"Oh, I'm a little nervous all of a sudden," Lotta squeaked, shuffling around on the bench seat. She took off her mittens and began wringing her hands just to underline her words. "I hope I won't make a fool of myself. Dearest Rocky, do you think I'll make a fool of myself?"
"I won't allow you to," Rocky said and reached over to put a calming hand on Lotta's jittery ones. "Just relax and let it come naturally to you. Then you'll be fine."
Offering Lotta a warm smile to comfort her, Rocky pulled Scepter to a halt by the booth at the entrance to the test track. Inside, an Elf was reclining on a swivel-chair with a copy of the Elf Springs Gazette draped over his face. The newspaper fluttered up and down as the Elf breathed, indicating he was fast asleep. He had his boots up on the desk in front of him, and all in all, he looked like he was having an Elfin good time.
"Ahem… shop!" Rocky said, tapping her knuckles on the narrow sill underneath the booth's only window. Turning back to her sleigh, she waved at Lotta who was snickering into her hand.
The Elf inside the booth nearly took a tumble off the swivel-chair, but he was quick to recover and spun around to face his customer like nothing had happened at all. Randolph Elf was a somewhat plump Elf whose long, graying beard made him appear older than his true age, which was somewhere in the mid-four hundreds. He was bare-headed, but he reached for a crimson Elf hat with a floppy cone at once.
"Two adult Elves?" Randolph Elf said, already reaching for a stack of tickets before he had time to see who his customer was. Looking up, he let out a grunt as he recognized the lady-Elf who leaned against the narrow sill. "Oh… greetings, Miss Rockabye! Why, I can't imagine you would need to brush up your sleigh-driving skills…"
"No, but my dearest friend here could use a few lessons from you or Carl-Svenning Elf," Rocky said and stepped aside so Randolph Elf could get a look at Lotta.
The joint-owner of the test track tipped his Elf hat before he waved a greeting at Lotta. "Well, that's what we're here for, Miss Rockabye. Carl-Svenning Elf is working the track today. We've been kinda busy, so there's a teeny-tiny delay in getting a sleigh, but…"
"Oh, that's all right, Randolph… we've got nothing else to do," Rocky said, digging into her coin pouch to find the proper sum needed to rent a sleigh and a reindeer. "What'll it be?"
"Six Kroner , please," Randolph Elf said and tore off two tickets from a long roll.
After the coins had been traded for the two tickets, Randolph waved at Lotta and Rocky one more time before he went back to the serious business of catching a mid-day nap.
Rocky climbed up on the sleigh and slapped the reins. As Scepter set off in a slow walk to come around to the staging area, the long-haul driver reached over to muss her sweetheart's arm. "You're awfully quiet, Lotta. There's nothing to be nervous about. I'll be by your side the whole time, and I'll never, ever yell at you or get miffed with you… not even if you turn us upside down in a snow bank!"
"Oh!" Lotta croaked, blinking several times at that particular mental image. "By the Great Elf, let's hope it won't come to that," she continued in a squeak.
Rocky steered Scepter into a free parking slot next to several other sleighs of all types. Once settled, she tied the reins to the rail atop the buckboard and pulled Lotta close so they could snuggle a bit while they waited for the other instructor, Carl-Svenning Elf, to greet them.
---
Less than ten minutes later, Carl-Svenning Elf - who was Randolph Elf's uncle and thus shared his plump body type - drove an olive-green, two-seater runabout over close to the row of parked sleighs to drop off the previous customer. After saying goodbye to the lady-Elf, he slapped the reins and proceeded to Rocky's colorful, custom-built sleigh.
"Greetings, my friends," Carl-Svenning Elf said, waving at the next customers. Like his nephew, he let out a grunt when he recognized Rocky. "Why, if it isn't Miss Rockabye Elf… oh… and I haven't had the pleasure, Miss Elf," he continued, jumping off the runabout to come over to Lotta's side of Rocky's sleigh.
Carl-Svenning Elf wasn't the youngest Elf in Elf Springs any longer - he was in his late six-hundreds - so to stay warm during the periods of inactivity at the course, he wore earmuffs, lined, long-legged boots, an insulated outfit not dissimilar to the schmutting gear worn by Rocky and Lotta, and a pair of thick gloves. A floppy-cone Elf hat had been flattened by the brace for the earmuffs, but he didn't seem to mind. To round off the ensemble, he wore a black ascot around his neck to show that he was an Elf elder. "Greetings, Miss Elf, I'm Carl-Svenning Elf," he said and put out his arm for the traditional Elfin arm-clasping.
Lotta quickly jumped off the sleigh and went into a deep bow to show her respect for the elder. "Greetings, Mr. Carl-Svenning, Sir. I'm Epilotta Elf. Everybody calls me Lotta," she said as she clasped the Elf elder's arm.
"Lotta… what a pretty name," Carl-Svenning said with a grin. "So, what can I do for you lady-Elves on this glorious day?" he said, looking at Rocky.
"Well, Carl-Svenning," Rocky said and jumped off the sleigh, "my dear, dear friend Lotta here would like some leagues under her belt before she takes the plunge and springs for a sleigh of her own."
"Ah… well, in that case, you've certainly come to the right place, Miss Lotta. However," Carl-Svenning Elf said and looked back at Rocky, "since you already have Miss Rockabye here, I can't imagine that you have any use for me. There isn't anything I know that she doesn't… and I would imagine that it would be easier for you to have a confidante at your side for the inevitable fumbles and mishaps than an old geezer like me… right?"
"Well, uh… you may be right about that, actually," Lotta said and snickered into her hand.
"I know I am, Miss Lotta. Why don't you lady-Elves let ol' Queen Mullally here take you around the course in the runabout?" Carl-Svenning said and gestured at the reindeer. "She's calm and good-natured, but she delivers every time."
"Oh… we could do that, couldn't we, dearest Rocky?"
Grinning, Rocky reached over to caress Lotta's shoulder. "We sure could."
"All right, that's settled, then," Carl-Svenning Elf said. "If I may suggest a course of action for you, it would be to start out trying all the basic stuff like the figure-eights and the cone-slalom. Later on, you could perhaps try reversing and parallel parking. If you need help, just holler my name and I'll be over in an Elfin flash. Or what constitutes as an Elfin flash for me these days," Carl-Svenning Elf said and let out a rumbling laugh as he patted his belly.
Lotta snickered as well before she looked up at her dearest friend, with wide, excited eyes - a look that Rocky simply could not resist.
"Let's get to it," the long-haul sleigh-driver said as she clasped arms with Carl-Svenning Elf. "All right, thanks, Carl-Svenning. We'll call you if we need help. Lotta… you've got the reins."
"Oh…" Lotta squeaked, staring at the olive-green runabout and the reins that were hanging from atop the buckboard. Gulping, she waved goodbye to Carl-Svenning Elf before she walked over to the runabout and climbed up into the driver's seat.
After shuffling around to make her tush happy with the seating conditions of the rental sleigh, Lotta took the reins in her mittens. She soon discovered she wouldn't be able to feel the leather through the thick fabric, so she took off the pale-blue mittens and stuck them into her parka-pockets with a little, satisfied grunt.
"The course is clear… whenever you're comfortable, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and sat down on the opposite side of her sweetheart to what she was used to.
Lotta gulped a little - then a lot - before she gave the reins a little slap and let out a squeaking "Yah, Queen Mullally!"
Nothing happened.
"Oh… I must have done something wrong. Am I supposed to release a parking brake first?" Lotta said, looking at the sleigh, at the reindeer up front, and then at her dearest friend for guidance.
"No. I think you should try again, but this time, slap the reins harder and let the reindeer know that Epilotta Elf is in the driving seat. You follow me?"
"Uh-huh," Lotta said and pulled up the reins to give it a second shot. Slapping them hard, she let out a fair-sized "Yah!" that made Queen Mullally let out a bray and set off on the snow-covered test track.
"Way to go, Lotta!" Rocky said, giving her sweetheart's shoulder a good nudge.
"Oooooooh! Rocky! I'm driving! I'm driving… uh… not particularly fast," Lotta said as she watched the scenery go by in what felt like walking pace for an Elf with a broken leg. "How do I get Queen Mullally to speed up a little?"
"Well, slap the reins again and cluck your tongue. Like you've seen me do a hundred times."
Grinning, Lotta slapped the reins and tried to move her tongue to produce a clucking sound, but the pitiful, frog-like croak that came out wasn't about to set the Elfin world on fire, nor did it make Queen Mullally speed up any. "Oh… corn-on-a-cob," Lotta said after she had made several unsuccessful attempts at clucking. "Rocky… no-can-cluck…"
"Hang on, sweet Lotta… I'll cluck for ya," Rocky said and clucked out loud. Up front, Queen Mullally responded by braying and upping her tempo.
Lotta grunted and tried several more times to produce the particular sound with her tongue. "Cotton-candy… I need to learn that before I get my own sleigh. I can't call you on the snow cone so you can cluck my reindeer each time I need to go someplace. I wonder if there's an evening class in clucking…"
"I wouldn't be surprised, actually," Rocky said and snickered into her hand. "All right, you've learned how to get the reindeer to go. Before we'll try anything else, I want you to stop Queen Mullally. To do that, tug the reins and hold them back while saying whoa, whoa. Yeah?"
"Yeah!" Lotta said and pulled the reins hard. Up front, Queen Mullally let out an annoyed bray, and she stopped on an øre even before Lotta'd had time to whoa her. Not expecting such a hard stop, Lotta slid forward on the bench seat until her knees were nearly at the buckboard; at the same time, the hood of her parka flew forward and fell into her eyes. "Oh… what was that all about?" she squeaked as she pushed her hood back from her eyes so she could see what went on up ahead.
"You tugged the reins too hard, Lotta… don't forget, they're connected to the yoke, which in turn is connected to the animal. Imagine if someone tried to yank you backward by the shoulders while you were minding your own, sweet Elfin business walking down Chestnut Street."
"Ew, that would be a whole herd a' tickle-monsters right there…"
"Yes. I'll cluck her, and then you can stop her again. Gently, yeah?"
"I'll try," Lotta said and rolled her shoulders. Slapping the reins, she let out a "Yah!" that was accompanied by several clucks from Rocky's tongue. Once the reindeer had resumed walking along the snow-covered course, Lotta tugged the reins and held them back like she had been told.
"Whoa… whoa…" Lotta said, prompting Queen Mullally to come to a gradual halt. When the sleigh came to a full stop, she put the reins across the buckboard so she could clap her hands in jubilation. "Rocky, I did it!" she said, adding a delighted, little nose-crinkle to her already impressive look of happiness.
"You certainly did, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and reached over to nudge the driver's near-side shoulder again. "Which means you know how to start and stop. Now, it's time for a turn. Let's say we want to turn left off the main course here and enter the figure-eight track over yonder… see it?" she continued, pointing ahead.
"Uh-huh," Lotta said, following Rocky's finger to a section of the infield that had been marked out by a whole series of Yuletide-red cones.
"All right. One thing you should always remember when driving is to keep on top of the reins," Rocky said and tapped an index finger on the leather reins that Lotta had put atop the buckboard when she wanted to clap her hands. "If you intend to turn left, but tug at the rein connected to the reindeer's right-hand side, the animal will turn right and you may find yourself in deep trouble if you're in traffic, or even when you're by yourself on, say, a narrow forest trail. So always keep track of the reins."
"Good advice, dearest Rocky," Lotta said, checking to see if she had the two reins lined up in correlation with her own hands. She did, so she let out a sigh of relief.
"Try to get underway," Rocky said and clucked her tongue.
"Yah! Yah, Queen Mullally!" Lotta said, slapping the reins. Up front, the reindeer set off again to follow the commands she had been given.
They went on in highly focused silence for fifty yards or so until they arrived at the offshoot that would take them to the figure-eight track. When they reached it, Lotta tugged the left-hand rein which made Queen Mullally bray and swing left onto the inner track.
As the sleigh moved ahead, Rocky kept track of where they were, and at just the right moment, she leaned over to Lotta. "Now turn right and follow the first part of the figure-eight."
"Oooh," Lotta said, sticking her pink, Elfin tongue between her lips. Tugging the right-hand rein, she made Queen Mullally go right which brought them between two of the red cones and thus onto the figure-eight track itself.
"Great work, sweet Lotta. Now I'll shut up and let you drive a couple of laps of the track. Just follow the layout," Rocky said and leaned back.
Lotta gulped a couple of times, but rolled her shoulders and concentrated hard on giving the reindeer the proper commands at the proper time.
---
Four laps of the figure-eight circuit later, Rocky gave her sweetheart a thumbs-up. "Come to a halt now, Lotta… remember, tug the reins gently and say whoa, whoa."
"Whoooooa," Lotta said, holding the reins back against her tummy. When Queen Mullally came to a halt, Lotta leaned back on the bench seat and let out a deep sigh. "Oh, Great Elf, I had no idea driving would be this tiring… I'm beat already!"
"It's because you concentrate so hard. You know what?"
"No?" Lotta said, cocking her head at the funny sound to her dearest friend's voice.
"I can't begin to describe how proud I am of you, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and wrapped her arms around her sweetheart in a perfect reverse of the numerous tender touches they had shared on the bench seat of her own custom-built sleigh. "This is your first time behind the reins, and yet you haven't made a single mistake worth mentioning!"
A deep, red blush spread over Lotta's cheeks, and she buried her face in the crook of Rocky's shoulder. "Awwwwwwww," she said, reaching up to rub her dearest friend's back.
They sat like that for a short while before they separated. When they moved apart, they both let out goofy snickers before Rocky gestured ahead to let Lotta know she should try another lap of the figure-eight track so they could get back to the exit-gate.
---
Returning to the main course and headed for the cone-slalom, Lotta kept her tongue between her lips while concentrating deeply about staying on top of the whole thing, so she didn't notice the sleigh that was driven up alongside the rented runabout.
"Oh, no… cotton-candy," a male-Elf voice said somewhere behind the two lady-Elves, "they'll let anyone in here!"
Turning her head, Rocky had already narrowed her eyes down into Elfin-blue slits to give the other driver a piece of her mind when she discovered the joker was her good friend and fellow long-haul sleigh-driver Jasper 'Jas' Elf.
The incurable ladies'-Elf Jasper - who, true to form, was sharing a rented sleigh with a dolled-up lady-Elf who looked to be pretty bored with the joyride to the test track - wore a forest-green outfit cut in the style preferred by the long-haul drivers. His red, rigid-cone Elf hat sat crooked to act as a fashion statement, and his red ascot appeared to have been starched at some point in the recent past.
"I could say the same thing," Rocky drawled, waving at her friend. "Greetings, Jas."
"Greetings, Rocky. Hello, Miss Epilotta!" Jasper said in a buttered-up voice that Rocky could only roll her eyes at - Lotta was too busy steering the sleigh to notice Jasper's smooth approach.
Chuckling, Rocky looked at the dolled-up lady-Elf who didn't seem too pleased with the fact that Jasper had been flirting with another lady-Elf in her presence. "Well, aintcha gonna introduce us to your lady-Elf-friend, Jas?"
"Oh, sure! Rocky, Miss Epilotta… this is Lillagumma Elf. Say hello to my friends, Lillagumma," Jasper said, nudging the lady-Elf's arm.
"Greetings," Lillagumma Elf said, looking and sounding anything but thrilled.
The silence that followed the sulky, one-word greeting grew from awkward to embarrassing to flat-out painful for all Elves involved, but Lillagumma Elf didn't appear to want to speak again. Grunting, she folded her arms in front of her chest and looked out over the snowy test track in a reasonable facsimile of the frosty conditions that surrounded them.
Rocky grinned at the look of chagrin on Jasper's face, but she declined from making further comments. "Well, it was nice talking to you, Miss Lillagumma. Jas, if you will excuse us… we have a slalom-course to go through," she said and got comfortable on the runabout's bench seat.
Up front, Queen Mullally dragged the rental sleigh along the big, outer test track at a steady place. Lotta briefly made eye contact with Rocky to offer her dearest friend a humorous gaze before her attention needed to return to the track ahead and the offshoot for the cone-slalom that was only another seventy yards up the road.
-*-*-*-
The next few hours or so went mostly well for Lotta on her first foray into the difficult, scary world of controlling reindeer and driving sleighs. With the skills she had gained at the figure-eight track, she aced the cone-slalom - and earned herself a big kiss from Rocky in the process - but reversing and parallel parking proved far more problematic.
After seven attempts at getting the runabout to line up with a curb she could hardly see, all she had succeeded in doing was to get flustered. She was tired, thirsty, hungry for a bun and even hungrier for a kiss. Grimacing, she put the reins across the buckboard and stretched her arms in the air to ease the strain on her shoulders. "Dearest Rocky, we're at that point of the day where if I go on, it wouldn't be funny for either of us. I would become frustrated and upset and that would make me a sad, sad little Elf, and you would be upset 'cos I had become upset 'cos this was supposed to be a fun day out, and then I would become upset that you had become upset that I had become upset… so… let's call it a day, huh?"
"I didn't catch all of that, but I agree… I think," Rocky said and snickered into her hand. She recognized the look on her sweetheart's face, so she leaned in and placed a fair-sized kiss right on Lotta's lips. When she could feel the petite Elf mellowing from her tender touch, she wrapped her arms around the smaller body and rubbed her hands up and down the back of the Yuletide-red parka. "And it doesn't matter about this last exercise, either. You did so cotton-candy great on all the others, sweet Lotta. All the little things will come with the experience. Love you."
"Mmmua," Lotta said and made a kissy with her lips. "Love you too. Actually… would you mind showing me how a parallel parking should be done? You know… just for fun?"
"Oh… sure. Pass the reins, please… no, let's swap instead," Rocky said and jumped off the sleigh. Once she and Lotta had changed places, the experienced sleigh-driver grabbed the reins and made Queen Mullally move another ten paces ahead so they could reach a new spot where the snow hadn't yet been trodden flat by the hooves.
In oh-point-two of an Elfin second, Rocky ordered Queen Mullally to back the sleigh up and move over to the curb by clucking, tugging and slapping the reins. "Like that?" she said with a grin once they were safely at the curb.
"Well, corn-on-a-cob," Lotta said, looking over the edge of the sleigh to see for herself. She tried to be miffed, but it only lasted a second - then she stuck out her tongue and snuggled up next to her dearest friend instead. "Mmmm… something like that, yes," she said in between snickers.
---
Returning to Rocky's own custom-built sleigh, Lotta had barely jumped off the two-seater runabout before she lifted the fur-covered bench seat and dove into the storage area. It was time for snacks and some tea, but her little, Elfin heart performed a painful double-beat when it dawned on her that Rocky didn't have anything edible down there. "But… but… snow goggles… gloves… the jingle-stick… a wrench… no snacks? A planing iron for the runners… a spare set of reins… a warning triangle… a tube of runner-lube… napkins… hey! Now isn't that typical… oh, but no snacks! What in the whole, wide Elfin world! Rocky! We've got no snacks! None! None, like in nothing-at-all-though-my-tummy-is-so-empty-I-could-eat-a-reindeer… uh, no offence, Queen Mullally…"
"Well," Rocky said as she hopped off the rental runabout and strolled over to her sweetheart. "We weren't exactly going on a hugely long trip, were we? We're still in Elf Springs, remember… not in the Alps, or way the cotton-candy up in Peary Land, or any of the other far-flung places you and I have visited."
"No, but… no snacks… not even a thermos of Yule-tea… an Elf just shouldn't leave home without 'em," Lotta said in a downcast voice. The corners of her mouth were already starting to point south, but her mood was improved by being pulled into a hug by Rocky.
"Also, we're supposed to go home to my place for some warm milk and jammy toast or something once we're done here. Unless you've changed your mind?" Rocky said, once again rubbing Lotta's back.
"Nuh-uh! Oh, I wouldn't dream of changing my mind when there's warm milk and jammy toast involved!" Lotta said and shook her head so hard that her flaming red locks swooshed back and forth. She became still when she realized that she had omitted quite an important element from that statement. "Uh… not to mention when you're involved," she added sheepishly. Blushing, she buried her face in Rocky's jacket.
Rocky leaned her head back and laughed out loud. "I know, sweet Lotta," she said, kissing the red locks.
Carl-Svenning Elf had been watching the tender scene unfold, but he had remained well back out of respect for the two lady-Elves. When they moved apart, he set off again and lumbered closer to them. "Miss Rockabye, Miss Lotta… how did it go?" he said, waving at his customers.
Hooking her arm inside Rocky's, Lotta broke out in a beaming smile. "Oh, it went really well, Mr. Carl-Svenning, Sir!"
"That's great to hear. Now, would you be interested in finishing off your day here with a test? You'll need to go through a group of five exercises on your own, and points will be awarded or deducted depending on your rate of success. Once you've completed all five exercises, you'll get a diploma with individual and tallied scores. If you show the diploma at the Mayor's Office when you apply for your driver's license, it'll bump you up the line for the real driving test."
"Oh…" Lotta said, biting her lips. She scrunched up her face and looked at Rocky, then at Queen Mullally and the runabout, then back at Rocky, up at the sky that was already darkening, over at Carl-Svenning Elf, and finally at Rocky. "Dearest Rocky, what do you think?"
"To be honest, I think you need a little more experience first. Today went really well, but in your heart, do you feel you're ready for taking a test by yourself?" Rocky said with a warm smile.
Staying silent for a while, Lotta listened to what her heart told her, and that was that she wasn't ready yet. She smiled as she turned back to the instructor. "Not today, thank you, Mr. Carl-Svenning, Sir. Can we come back another day and take the test?"
"Of course, Miss Lotta. You'll probably need a little time getting reacquainted with the sleigh and the reindeer, but there's no problem in taking the test some other day. You're always welcome here at the Elf Springs Test Track."
Lotta smiled at the Elf elder before she snuggled up to Rocky. "I think that's the best for me."
"And I agree," Rocky said and clasped arms with the elder. "All right, thanks, Carl-Svenning. Queen Mullally is none the worse for wear, but I think she needs a little feed and water."
"Will do, Miss Rockabye," Carl-Svenning Elf said and moved aside so Scepter could pull the custom-built sleigh free from those parked close to it. "Have a safe trip home."
While Rocky climbed up into their own sleigh, Lotta bowed at the Elf elder to show him the proper respect. No sooner had they left the parking slots behind before Rocky whoa'ed Scepter and brought them to a halt again to allow Jasper Elf to beat them to the exit.
She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Jasper sitting all by his good Elf-self on the bench seat of his company sleigh. "Whassamatter, Jas? Did Lillagumma Elf get a headache?" she cried, putting her hand at her mouth to make it act as an amplifier.
Jasper sighed so deeply his shoulders slumped. Turning around in the seat, he eyed the smirking Rocky and the blushing Lotta. "Naw. She said she had forgotten all about her grandmother's nine-hundred-and-thirty-third birthday or some such so she had to skedaddle."
"Awww. Well, that's how it goes sometimes. Better luck with the next one…"
"Thanks," Jasper said, not exactly sounding like he meant it.
Though Jasper moved to turn back around, Rocky was just getting started ribbing her friend, and she broke out in a big, wide, cheesy grin. "I mean, you're bound to have some good, Elfin fortune sooner or later, right? I'm sure you'll meet someone someday who'll actually want to spend some time with you beyond the first date… maybe you'll need to see, oh a hundred or so lady-Elves before you find her, but… oh! Oh no, you've gone past that number already, haven't you?"
"Yeah, yeah, haw, haw, Rocky… Miss Epilotta, how you don't run away screaming, I have no idea," Jasper Elf said, but tempered his words with a wink at the two lady-Elves.
Lotta snickered into her hand and snuggled up to Rocky. A simple look at the tough sleigh-driver's striking profile answered Jasper's question right there, and all doubts were whisked away when Rocky looked down at the exact same moment. Locking eyes, Rocky and Lotta both let out goofy snickers that hammered the point home.
"Are you ready for some warm, honeyed milk now, sweet Lotta?"
"Oh, you bet your Elfin belly button I am! And jammy toast, too!"
"You know… come to think of it, I may have a chunky-chocolate-crumble-cake in my pantry," Rocky said and broke out in another snicker.
"Ooooooooh! It's time to hustle home!"
After waving goodbye to her good friend Jasper Elf, she wrapped her free arm around Lotta's shoulders and steered Scepter onto the snow-covered streets of Elf Springs. On their way home, the first, multi-colored Yule-lights were turned on on the lamp posts, draping everything in a warm, Yuletide-like atmosphere.
*
*
THE END of LOTTA TAKES THE REINS
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
5: "Yuletide Bells Are Ring-ing"
CHAPTER 1
A serene calm had fallen over the Elfin world in that magical period between the late night and the early hours of the morning of December twenty-fifth. The abundance of snow on the ground shone a faint white-blue light into the dark, starry skies above, and the Great Elf did her best to add to the night-time colors by playing with her green veil far above the world she had created.
A majority of the Elves in Elf Springs and elsewhere were still asleep, holding onto their loved ones or the presents they had been given on the Night of Nights. Some Elves had just gone to work, like the master bakers and their Elf assistants who were preparing the ovens and the dough for the mad rush that was sure to follow when the rest of the Elfin world woke up.
Other Elves were returning home from work; be it the night watch-Elves like Theodore Elf and his fellow Elves from the Elf Springs Central Fire Watch, or Milophilus Elf and his many colleagues from the cab and shuttle companies who drove all of the evening and most of the night to bring Elves to and from the many Yuletide parties - or the long-haul sleigh-drivers and gift-droppers who had worked non-stop all over the world since Santa had ushered in the Season to be Jolly two days prior to the Night of Nights.
A sleigh pulled by a single reindeer came out of the darkness on a controlled descent. Touching down in a masterful landing at the far end of Apple Dumpling Lane, one of the many streets in Elf Springs that were designated to act as landing strips, the sleigh was revealed to be a classic design kept primarily in crimson and forest-green. The intricately designed runners were made of stainless steel, and colorful, elaborate Elfin carvings covered every last piece of available surface apart from the flatbed itself and the little sign that said Rocky's Parcel Delivery Service.
Only one Elf appeared to be sitting on the fur-covered bench seat, but when the single reindeer slowed down to a regular walk, a second head popped up next to the taller one.
Epilotta 'Lotta' Elf stretched her arms high in the air and let out a yawn that threatened to break all Elfin-world records. Smacking her lips, she stretched her back this way and that to get all the kinks out before she snuggled up to her dearest friend, Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf.
"Oh, by the Great Elf," Lotta mumbled, "this Night of Nights was a toughie. I can't remember being this tired last year. Corn-on-a-cob, the second I put my head on my pillow, I'll be fast asleep."
"No talk of sleep now, please, sweet Lotta… not while I'm driving," Rocky said in a dead-tired mumble.
Lotta wasn't far behind when it came to being dead-tired, as witnessed by her gray complexion that had replaced her regular flushed one. Smiling, she reached up to place a kiss on Rocky's cheek. "I'm sorry. I can't even offer you a bun or a cookie… we had them all."
"Ha, yeah," Rocky said and let out a colorless chuckle. The air was crisp and nippy-nosey, so their breaths escaped as large plumes of steam that wafted away as the sleigh moved through the deserted streets of Elf Springs.
They carried on in silence for a while until they turned into the neighborhood that included Chestnut Street where Lotta lived. Everything was quiet, but anything but dark. All through the Night of Nights, the Elves living there - prompted by the Elfin houseowner's association - had left their multi-colored Yule-lights turned on, and the street was bathed in a glorious white, red, green, and yellow shine.
The evergreen garlands that were suspended between the snow cone-poles lining the streets were dark since they typically didn't carry lights, but for the ever-impressionable Lotta, it was still a magical occasion to drive under them.
Only a few sounds were created in the quiet world: the muffled clip-clopping of the reindeer's hooves and the jingling of the harness were occasionally joined by faint braying that was whisked away into the cold morning as plumes of steam. The swooshing produced by the stainless steel runners as they carved through the snow covering the streets was a constant companion, and a faint, harmonic jingling came from the jingle-stick down in the storage area.
Working quietly so as not to disturb the serene environment, Lotta began to collect all her stuff in advance so she didn't have to let Rocky wait for too long when they reached Chestnut Street and her Pine Cone Villa. She wore her prized, dark-green schmutting outfit that she had worn when she and Rocky had met for the first time. Then, it had been brand-spanking new and squeaky-clean, but after it had been scuffed, scorched, torn and subsequently mended, and covered in soot, dust and cobwebs more often than she could remember, it had gained plenty of patina; that well-worn look that proved she was no longer a rookie in the world of schmutting and gift-dropping though she was required to wear her green ascot for a while yet.
Rocky yawned so widely that her jaw nearly popped as she steered the single reindeer up front - which was Scepter since Sammi-Sima was still under the weather and Gustaf had been transferred out to Toy Factory One under the supervision of Canute Elf - onto Chestnut Street and began the final stretch for Lotta's home.
"You know," the dead-tired sleigh-driver said in a flat voice, "I don't think I'll ever figure out why some Humans have their presents on Yuletide Eve while others don't have them until the morning after. I mean… I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for it… but…"
"I have no idea, dearest Rocky," Lotta said and put down her mittens so she could exploit the final opportunity of the night to snuggle up to her friend whose pale-blue schmutting outfit was just as filthy and sooty as her own. Where love between Elves was concerned, a little soot had never harmed anyone, so Lotta snuggled up tight and let her arms snake around Rocky's waist.
"All this work," Rocky continued, shaking her tired head. "With all the Humans out there now, Santa will probably need to rethink our whole setup. Perhaps we'll even need three full shifts of long-haul sleigh-drivers and gift-dropper-Elves to keep up with the demand. Canute Elf told me the assembly lines at the toy factories are working flat out pretty much non-stop now."
"There's plenty of work for all of us, that's a fa- oh, Rocky! We went right past my house!" Lotta said, craning her neck to look at her brightly-lit Pine Cone Villa as the sleigh slithered past it going too far down Chestnut Street.
"Sugar plum mush!" Rocky said and tugged the reins at once to make Scepter come to a halt. "I'm so cotton-candy tired… and all the houses look the same with all those lights…"
Lotta let out a short snicker at what she perceived to be a humorous comment until she realized that her dearest, and dead-tired, friend had meant it.
"I'm sorry," Rocky said, leaning over to her right to kiss Lotta's hair that held a certain scent of soot and woodsmoke after seeing the inside of countless chimneys over the course of the Night of Nights.
Lotta snickered into her hand and reached up to offer Rocky another kiss on the cheek. "Oh, that's quite all right, dearest Rocky. It's only a short distance back and I'm much younger than you so I'm still fresh as a purple saxifrage!"
"Oh, you little rascal-Elf!" Rocky said and took a firm grip around Lotta's body to give her an early-morning tickling she would remember. She let out a hearty chuckle as Lotta squealed under her relentless touch, but the chuckle turned into a dry cough that needed her attention in a hurry. Beating her chest, she let the cough die out before she turned back to her sweetheart. "Oh, Santa's Suspenders… I better not be coming down with something too… it's bad enough the reindeer have it."
"Oh!" Lotta said and briefly stuck out her tongue at Rocky. "You're not a reindeer!"
"Well, thanks for noticing, sweet Lotta. I can't tell you how relieved that makes me feel."
Gazing at each other, Rocky and Lotta both let out goofy snickers before they reached out to give each other a hug. "Farewell for now, dearest Rocky," Lotta said as she pulled back. "Don't forget, our post-Yuletide bash starts at four o'clock this afternoon. Mammi and Pappi are coming over and we're gonna have rice pudding with cinnamon and a pool of melted butter and ev'ry type of Yuletide cookie and port and some egg nog and whipped cream and the cold rice pudding that I still think they should find a catchy name for instead of just calling it cold rice pudding 'cos that sounds a little odd in my opinion… oh, but never mind that now." - Deep, deep breath - "And we're gonna have presents and sing merry Yuletide songs and dance around the Yuletree and everything's gonna be so, so, SO wonderfully Yuletide-y that I can't help being a happy, happy little Elf just thinking about all the" - deep breath - "wonderful, wonderful, wonnn-derful things that'll happen tonight!"
Like Rocky had done countless times before, she stared wide-eyed at her sweetheart, wondering how on the Great Elf's green and blue earth so many words could fit into Epilotta Elf's petite frame - and how those words seemed to burst out of her at regular intervals. Just as she dared to open her mouth to add her own two ører's worth, Lotta took a deep breath and started anew:
"But of course, there's plenty of work to be done before we get there, so I really can't stay out here for much longer, dearest Rocky, much as I would like to 'cos I like you a lot, you know… well, I hope you do… but anyway," - deep breath - "if I don't catch some shuteye before it's time to begin my league-long work sheet, I'm going to be a drowsy, little Elf when it's time to eat the rice pudding. After all, it wouldn't look good if the hostess ended up face-down in the pudding 'cos she's been working so hard all day, would it?" - Deep breath - "Now that I mention it, I think I recall seeing such a headline in the Elf Springs Gazette the last Season to be Jolly… or maybe it was the year before that? Oh, never mind. Before I get some sleep, I need a long, hot bath to get all this muck off my Elfin body. Yes… oh, that's going to be so wonderful too!"
Rocky just smiled. When several seconds went by where Lotta didn't speak, the sleigh-driver smiled a little more and pulled her sweetheart close for a smooch - that was the only course of action she could think of that would keep Lotta's mouth busy for a wee while. "Farewell, sweet Lotta. Have a nice bath, and sweet dreams when you get around to that. See you this afternoon… I can't wait," Rocky said, adding a little wink at the end of the sentence.
"Me neither!" Lotta said and moved back to steal another kiss. Once they separated, she jumped off the sleigh and took her mittens and the rest of her gear.
Stepping back, she waved like a crazed mountain hare as Rocky slapped Scepter's reins and offered him a quiet "Yah!" so she wouldn't wake up the entire neighborhood. Lotta kept waving until Rocky's custom-built sleigh turned a corner down the far end of Chestnut Street; then she waded through the creaking snow to get back to her Pine Cone Villa.
Lotta looked up at the magnificent sight of the Great Elf playing with her green veil. They had followed the northern lights all evening, and had even used it as a beacon to find back to Toy Factory One on their return trips between loads. Elfin legend had it that a special, little Elf was born whenever the Great Elf played with her veil, but perhaps it could be used as a pointer for other special occasions, too?
For some reason, Lotta could feel something major was about to happen. All through the Night of Nights, she had caught Rocky gazing at her in a way that the tough sleigh-driver hadn't done before. The gaze had been warm and loving with just a touch of shyness, like Rocky knew something that she wasn't ready to divulge just yet.
Ever since the love letter that Rocky had written for Lotta on the previous Season to be Jolly, they had been touchy-feely with one another, but they seemed to have turned a corner recently. Where they were going with that, Lotta really had no idea, but she did have a wish that lingered deep inside her Elfin heart - a wish she didn't dare speak out in case the words would jinx the emotions.
As she reached her garden gate, she turned around to give the northern lights a final look. Smiling at the magnificent light-show in the sky high above her like only an Elf who was an incurable romantic could, she strolled up the path to her front door and let herself in.
---
Steam poured out of the upstairs bedroom as the door was opened. Soon, Lotta stepped out flushed and pink like a marzipan piggy, like Rocky was fond of saying. After giving herself and her flaming red locks a thorough rub-down, she hung the wet towel over a metal brace on her bedroom fireplace so it could get dry. Hopping into her bloomers didn't take but a few moments, and she was quick to find suitable night garments as well: a forest-green satin night cap, and a nightgown in a matching color that she slipped over her petite shoulders to make herself ready for bedtime.
Sweeping back her heavy winter duvet, she reached across to her bedside table and blew out the candle. "Not long to go now," she mumbled into the darkness. Her bed creaked as she got comfortable and pulled the duvet up under her chin. "Not long to go before Mammi and Pappi and Rocky come over… oh… and we're gonna have such a wonderful, wonderful Yuletide. Friendly conversations, merry Yuletide songs and warm laughter… plenty of laughter. Just wonnn-" - Yawn! - "derful… ZZZZzzzzzz…"
-*-*-*-
Lotta was so bombed-out from all the adventures and excitement that she and Rocky had been involved in on the Night of Nights that she slept like an Elfin-shaped brick all through the AM and even a short while into the PM. When she was finally stirred from her sleep, it was only because her bladder and her tummy had engaged in a ferocious duel to moan the loudest - her full bladder was winning that particular duel, but her empty tummy wasn't far behind.
Rolling over onto her back from her favorite position on her left side, Lotta smacked her lips several times before a happy smile spread over her features even while her eyes were still closed. Just thinking about all the fun she would get to have with her family and her dearest friend later on made her break out in a happy mewling. Oh-point-two of an Elfin second further down the line, the happy smile melted away and was replaced by a look that spelled out quite clearly that if she didn't listen to her bladder right that instant, there would be a whole lot more work for her in a wee while.
Pulling the duvet aside in a hurry, she zipped into the little Elves' room across the hallway. After a furious bout of taking care of the Great Elf's business, she zipped back into her bedroom and dove under the warm cover.
As she lay there in all her Elfin lonesome, a thought of what it would be like to wake up next to Rocky every morning suddenly came to her unprompted. They had in fact shared a bunk once, but only for less than five minutes. The awkward sleeping arrangement had happened on their mission to Peary Land when they had stopped at the crystal mine. The miner-Elves working there had misread the nature of the relationship between Rocky and her, and had offered them a single bunk.
Then, it had been too much, and certainly far too soon, for the shy Lotta, but as the thoughts of her dearest friend Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf rolled across her mind's eye, she knew in her Elfin soul that she was ready for the next step of their relationship. It was the secret wish that lingered deep in her heart, but she still wasn't prepared to speak it out loud.
Her tummy started growling like a great, big Elfin tuba to get her to feed it, so she let out a sigh and swung the duvet away from her petite body. Along with brunch, lunch, afternoon snacks, supper, evening snacks and a sugary night-cap, breakfast was the most important meal of the day for any Elf, and it was high time for her to make some.
Standing up, she only made it two steps into the bedroom when she came to a stop and lit up in a bright smile. "Hot waffles!" she said, licking her lips in anticipation. Two steps further toward the door, she stopped again. "And smoooo-hoo-hooth syrup! Ooooooh-yeah!"
-*-*-*-
The ugly-smokey-tickle-monster that had taken up residence in her oven following the disastrous attempt at making a new variation of apple charlotte had mercifully moved on, so Lotta had no problems extracting a wire rack full of steaming hot waffles.
She had a hard time keeping all her saliva on the inside as she put the wire rack onto the kitchen table, but she managed. The nine waffles were soon arranged in a neat pile on a plate, and she grabbed that, the bottle of syrup, a small tin can of icing sugar and a mug of hot vanilla-flavored Yule-tea before she zipped into her living room to enjoy everything while it was hot.
---
Munching merrily, occasionally moaning of delight, and constantly licking her fingers clean of the runny syrup, she began to organize the stack of little notes she had prepared for the day.
Her munching almost slowed to a halt when she realized how much she needed to do, and how little time she had to complete the lengthy work sheet - she couldn't even cut any corners since all tasks were of equal importance for her, for the post-Yuletide bash as an event, and for the sacred Elfin traditions. Her parents would expect that every little detail adhered to the sacred traditions, and that meant she had to work double-hard to make sure that everything was spot-on.
"All right… don't panic, Epilotta Elf. Where there's an Elfin will, there's a raisin bun," she said as she shuffled the papers around so they were laid out in something approaching chronological order. "Chop firewood for the stove and the fireplaces, do the dishes from yesterday… and the day before… oh, ye Great Elf, we've been so busy this Season to be Jolly I've barely had time to eat a cookie… ugh."
She still had five-and-a-half syrupy waffles left, so she reached for the next one without even thinking. The mug of Yule-tea was right next to the plate, so that saw frequent visits as well.
Munch, munch, slurp.
"Carry seventeen boxes of Yuletide decorations for the Yuletree down from the attic. Carry Yuletree up from the basement where it's been getting acclimatized. Decorate the Yuletree… and for that, I'll need the step-ladder, too. Hmmm. Where is that? Upstairs? No… oh, it's in the pantry. Right."
Munch, slurp, munch.
"Prepare the presents that need to go under the Yuletree. Write name tags and apply them to the proper presents. Place presents under the Yuletree. Carry spare chairs and the wings for the dining table down from the attic… oh, my back is protesting already… they're so Elfin heavy!"
Slurp, munch, munch.
"Find a Yuletide-themed tablecloth for the dining table… the Yuletide-red, or the pine-green? Hmmm… or the purple one with the silver highlights? No… Mammi wouldn't like that one. All right, the Yuletide-red one. Noted."
Munch, munch, slurp.
"Find and wash tumblers, port glasses and ale mugs. Find and check and possibly wash the fine cutlery. Find and check and possibly wash the fine bowls. Find napkins… cotton-candy! Where did I put the napkins? Ughhh… not sure I like napkins anymore. Hmmm… find coasters for the ale mugs. The traditional ones, not the funny, moose-head ones Rocky gave me for my Elf-birthday. Find cork table mats. And dress the dinner table."
Munch, slurp, munch.
"Mix the egg nog well in advance… not too weak. Mix the mulled wine, cook the mulled wine… not too strong. Remember cloves, chipped almonds and juicy raisins for the mulled wine. Put Pappi's favorite bottle of fine port in the basement so it's nice and chilled for the dessert."
Slurp, munch, munch.
"Find extra almonds, extra raisins and extra cloves for two… no, make that three thermos' of Yule-tea. No, four. Two regular, and two of the vanilla-flavored blend. Four…? Or maybe three… no, definitely four. Even if we don't drink it all, the thermos' will hold it warm until tomorrow."
Munch, munch, slurp.
"Prepare the large pot and a block of dark cooking chocolate in case someone wants hot chocolate instead of egg nog or the mulled wine. Not that anyone would… or maybe Mammi would? She does have a sweet tooth… that I inherited." - Snicker! - "Hmmm… maybe I would like some hot choco- no. No, scratch that. Uh… scratch it, but keep it on the list. Yep."
Munch, slurp, munch.
"Prepare the ingredients for rice pudd- cream! Sugar plum mush, I forgot to buy cream… oh… that's right, I got the two-fer offer… phew! Make rice pudding. Prepare a churn of butter for the rice pudding. Find saucepan for melting said butter in case the rice pudding takes too long to cook. Find the jar of cinnamon, possibly refill the jar of cinnamon. Remember to save a large bowl-ful of hot rice pudding for the cold rice pudding. Take the jar of whole-berry cherry sauce from the basement well in advance so it isn't frosty like when I tested it. Blanch almonds. Chop almonds. Remember to save one whole almond for one of the bowls. Prepare vanilla pod for the cold rice pudding. Insert whole almond in a random bowl. Find surprise present suitable for Mammi, Pappi and Rocky. Santa's Suspenders! How am I supposed to find time to be creative through all this? I'll just have to wing it…"
Slurp, munch, munch.
"Prepare cookie dough from the food delivery boxes. Prepare peppernut dough from the food delivery boxes. Prepare bun dough from the food delivery boxes… better make 'em the raisin buns. We have so much cinnamon already on the other dishes we may end up overdosing on it… what am I saying?! Uhhhh… yes, raisin buns. I already have really yummy, juicy raisins. Slice cookies from the cookie dough and put them onto the roasting pan. Shape peppernuts from the peppernut dough and put them onto the roasting pan. Shape buns from the bun dough and put them onto the roasting pan… cotton-candy, I'll need three roasting pans!"
Munch, munch, slurp.
"Get my hair done… paint my nails? Nah. Get dressed according to Elfin Yuletide traditions so Mammi and Pappi won't throw a fit. Remember to wear an apron when cooking. Remember to have a backup apron on standby at all times to combat nasty spillages. Hmmm… new towels in the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms. Check mailbox for last-last minute Yuletide cards… put said last-last minute Yuletide cards on the sideboard next to the others. Disconnect or turn off the snow cone once the guests are here so we're not disturbed. Oh, but what if Santa calls? Hmmm… he'll understand."
Munch, slur-
"Wait…! Ohhhh, the sweet white ale! Carry two… no, better make that three kegs of sweet white ale up from the basement! Great Elf, I nearly made a mess of the whole thing… an Elfin Yuletide-bash without sweet white ale? IM-possible!"
Slurp, munch, munch.
"So, that's one, two, three, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, twelve, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, eighteen, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, twenty-five, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm… thirty-seven, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, forty-two… ack, that can't be right! Corn-on-a-cob! I need to do a… ah… ah… buncha tasks before my guests arrive. And I have… five hours."
Lotta fell back against the backrest of the couch she had been sitting on with a thousand-league stare etched onto her face. Her plate of hot waffles had been cleaned out and the mug was bone-dry, and yet she was curiously empty inside. Suddenly, she threw her arms in the air and drew a sharp breath: "Oh, Great Elf, this is your faithful follower, Epilotta Elf! I'm in way over my head and I could really, really, r-e-a-l-l-y, need a helping hand! Now, please!"
When nothing seemed to happen, Lotta let out a long sigh before she collected the dishes to get started on her league-long work sheet.
-*-*-*-
A short time later, the little-used, wooden side door of the Pine Cone Villa creaked open to reveal an Elf dressed in black boots, black pants, pale-blue mittens and a shapeless Yuletide-red parka coat. The furlined hood of the parka was tied so tightly that only a pair of Elfin-green eyes and the tip of a pink nose were visible.
Lotta stepped out onto the snow-covered doorstep and remained there for a few moments. Taking and holding a deep breath, she finally released it and watched in wide-eyed wonder as the vast plume of steam drifted away from her mouth until it dissolved somewhere down into her back garden. The air wasn't just nippy-nosy but rosy-cheeky as well - just the way she and every other Elf in Elf Springs loved it.
Snickering out loud at the magic of the wintertime, she moved down into the deep snow and shuffled through her inner courtyard to get to the woodshed. On her shoulder, she carried a shiny ax like she had seen Ingolffe Elf and his tough lumberjack-Elves do when she and Rocky had visited them in the Magical Calshiweah Forest on the first part of their trip to Forstbichl in the Alps.
Once inside the woodshed, she shook her boots to get the snow off so she would have a better footing for the dangerous job of chopping wood. She soon began collecting a pile of logs that needed to be chopped down to size in order for them to fit into the stove and the fireplaces.
"I wonder how many I'll need?" she mumbled, eyeing the wood she had already transferred from the large stockpile in the corner of the woodshed. "Fifteen? No… better make it twenty," she continued, moving another large armful of logs and putting them within easy reach.
After placing the first one on the old stub she used as a chopping block, she rolled her shoulders a couple of times so she wouldn't pull an Elfin muscle before the long day had even begun.
Taking a deep breath, she swung the ax back and got ready to let the shiny blade do the talking - she would take care of the singing that she knew would help her get through the tedious task.
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Here we go a-wanderin'… a-wan, a-wan, a-wanderin' over the fields so green… and when we find a comfy home, a-home, a-home, a-home-where-we-can be-"
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"Uh… can't remember the thi-hiiird verse. Never mind. The snow was cooooold but you were so warm to hooooold, as we drove in the sleeeeeigh along the waaaaay back home todaaaaay…"
Swing! Cho- Sproing!
"Oh, cotton-candy… tryin' to sneak off, are ya?"
The errant log had jumped clear across the woodshed, but Lotta was relentless in her grim pursuit and put it back on the chopping block at once. "And hep!" she said, swinging the ax over her shoulders.
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"Buuuuuuuut Santa said to the little Elf, don't be sad, don't be sad…"
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"Santa said to the little Elf, please be glad, please be glad…"
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"Corn-on-a-cob, I'm on a roll now!" Lotta said as she noticed she was already nearly halfway through the smaller pile of logs. Grinning, she swung the ax over her head to pick up where she had left off.
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"On the first day of Yuletide my sweetheart sent to me, a shiny, red candy apple…"
Swing! Chop! Ka-ba-clunk-a!
"On the second day of Yuletide my true love sent to meeeeee… two peppernuts and a shiny, red candy ap-"
"Hi, Lotta!"
"Yeeeeee!" Lotta shrieked, losing her grip on the ax right in the middle of a backswing. The tool took on a mind of its own as it flew through the air and embedded itself into the roof of the woodshed. It was sort of perched there for a short while before it gave up the unequal struggle with gravity and fell down onto the chopping block where it split the log down the middle with surgical precision.
Slapping a hand on her wildly beating Elfin heart, Lotta used her free hand to shove the furlined hood back so she could discover the identity of the Elf spooking her so badly. "Oh… greetings, Trixie! Merry Yuletide!"
"Merry Yuletide to you, too," Trickamore Elf said, standing at the low gate to the inner courtyard. Lotta's young opposite-neighbor was wrapped up warm and comfy in a forest-green, hooded winter coat, but she still looked miserable. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were red - it almost looked like she had been crying.
Since Lotta could use a break from chopping the logs, she waved Trickamore over to her before she sat down on the chopping block next to the shiny ax. When her young neighbor got closer, it was easy to see that something was amiss. "Oh no, are you coming down with something too? There seems to be a bug going around the Elfin community right now. Rocky had a bad cough a couple of times last night…"
"No," Trickamore said, shaking her head which allowed some of her hair to break free of the hood. She eyed the stray locks but apparently couldn't be bothered folding them back up inside the protective hood. "I've been stood up," she added in a mumble.
"Sugar plum mush, no! What happened?" Lotta said and jumped to her feet. In no time flat, she threw the ax onto the pile of logs and helped Trickamore sit down on the chopping block so she could feel a bit more welcome.
Trickamore shrugged and reached up to wipe her runny nose. "Oh, nothing much. My date just called me on my snow cone and told me he couldn't make it after all. So that was the end of my Yuletide-fest."
"But… how can he… just like that? And he didn't even say why?"
"No."
"What a bad, bad Elf! That's just rude! Really, what's the Elfin world coming to?!" Lotta said and threw her hands in the air. As she observed a little tear escaping Trickamore's eye, she scrunched up her face in annoyance. "But I'll tell you what you're gonna do, Trixie! You're gonna come over to my post-Yuletide bash this afternoon and have a blast and eat rice pudding and drink sweet white ale and mulled wine or hot chocolate and sing merry Yuletide songs and dance around the Yuletree with myself and Rocky and my Mammi and Pappi! We're gonna have an Elfin good time! And by the Great Elf, that's exactly what you're gonna have too!"
"Oh, but I don't wanna intrude…"
"Trixie, that word doesn't even exist in the Elfin vocabulary," Lotta said and stood up straight. Clearing her throat a couple of times, she turned back to her visitor and assumed a solemn expression. "Trickamore Elf, I hereby invite you to my post-Yuletide bash this afternoon! And there you have it!" she said and stretched out her arm so her neighbor could clasp it.
Trickamore let out a relieved chuckle as she clasped arms with the petite but strong-willed Epilotta. "Thank you so much… since your parents and your lady-Elf-friend will be there, I promise I'll be on my best behavior."
"No-no-no-no-no! There won't be no behavin' tonight, I can tell you!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand. " 'Cos after the dancing and the singing and getting our presents, we might end up playing all the wonderful, wonderful, wonnn-derful old-fashioned Elfin Yuletide games! You better believe we are, Trixie. We're gonna play Pin the Reindeer and Elfin Blindfold Skipping… and whatever else we can think of. We're gonna eat, drink, sing, play and be merry… and like I said, we're gonna have an Elfin good time! Yep!"
Rising from the chopping block, Trickamore wrapped her arms around the petite Elf and gave her a good, strong hug. "Thank you so very much, Miss Epilotta… is there anything I can contribute to the bash?"
"Well… hmmm," Lotta said and pulled back from the hug. Her mind went into high gear as she ran through her lengthy work sheet. Most of it was hard, physical work like carrying things down from the attic or up from the basement, but she didn't want to exploit her friendly neighbor. Beyond that, there wasn't really anything that Trickamore could help her with - except… "Well, if you helped me chop wood, it would be done a lot sooner. I only need another fifteen or so logs… how about it?"
"You have a deal," Trickamore said and rolled up her sleeves. "I'm really good at chopping wood, so if you put the logs on the block, I'll swing the ax."
Snickering into her hand, Lotta went directly for the next log and put it on the block. "Neat!" she said, stepping back in case it was one of the errant ones that wanted to make a run for it.
-*-*-*-
The popular stereotype of a Yuletide Elf is that he or she is someone who has pointy ears and a healthy appetite for rice pudding and sweet white ale. A Yuletide Elf is always seen as a quiet though perhaps mischievous, but certainly helpful, ever-friendly, jovial, and warm and kind being. The Human creating those stereotypes had obviously never met Epilotta Elf when something had transpired that had put her in one of her moods.
At present, the only visible parts of Lotta were her tush and her legs. The rest of her was buried deep inside the wood-burning stove in her kitchen that had apparently felt a strong urge to move into center-stage on one of the most important days of the Elfin year. For some reason, Lotta couldn't get the kindle-wood to ignite despite trying all the one-hundred-and-one tips, tricks and shortcuts she had found in the Great Elfin Collection Of 101 Tips, Tricks and Shortcuts For The Elfin Housewife .
After opening the book at the chapter called How To Get The Most Out Of Your Kindle-wood , Lotta had put it on the kitchen table so she could reach it whenever a new problem arose - which was often. Frustrated, she leaned back on her thighs and let out a long, slow sigh. Soot from inside the stove had gone everywhere: in her hair, on her cheeks and on her apron, so she was glad she hadn't already spent any amount of time fixing herself up for the Yuletide bash.
An explosion was imminent, that much was clear, and it came soon after when the one-hundred-and-second attempt at getting the kindle-wood to ignite turned out to be another failure. There was only so much an Elf could take and still remain in a good, positive, Elfin-like mood, and Lotta's limit had just been reached. From one moment to the next, she let rip in a ferocious verbal assault on the post-Yuletide peace and serenity by roaring out an impressive sequence of every single swearword ever invented by the Elves.
The vitriol and clouds of sulfuric acid that spewed forth from the petite Elf didn't improve the situation, but at least it released some of the pressure that had built up inside her. She didn't need to look at the watch to know the clock was ticking without mercy. There wasn't much time left before her guests could be expected to arrive, but she had barely started on her lengthy work sheet.
As the last of the bad mood fizzled out of her with a croaking "Sugar plum mush…" she let out a deep sigh and rolled her eyes. "I need a cookie. And then I'm gonna give Rocky a call… she'll know what to do," she mumbled as she climbed to her feet.
---
Munching on a Vanilla Ring cookie - she had bought an entire crate of them from her favorite bakery down on Beechwood Drive - Lotta reached for the snow cone which sat in its base station on the sideboard inside her living room. Inches before her fingers would have made contact, the apparatus started ringing on its own which gave her such a jolt she jumped back and let out a croaked, muffled cry that sent Vanilla Ring-crumbs all over the carpet.
'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!' a choir of young lady-Elves sang.
"Cotton-candy," Lotta mumbled, mentally adding 'clean the carpet' to her to-do list as she eyed the collection of cookie crumbs she had just deposited all over her living room floor.
The snow cone had time for one more 'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet-' before Lotta pressed the button and put the apparatus to her ear. "Greetings, this is Epilotta Elf," she said, sweeping away some of the crumbs with her foot.
'Hi, sweet Lotta… it's me.'
For the umpteenth time the past month alone, Lotta melted when she heard Rocky's dulcet voice in her pointy ear. She forgot all about the crumbs and allowed a broad smile to spread over her features as she flopped down into one of her armchairs. "Hi… oh, this is one of those uncanny-thingies 'cos I was just about to give you a call, dearest Rocky."
'Yeah?'
"Yeah. My wood-burning stove is giving me so much trouble that I'm almost turning into a sad, sad little Elf but I refuse to become a sad, sad little Elf on the day of our post-Yuletide bash" - deep breath - "so I thought that you might have some kind of bright idea on how to get the cotton-candy kindle-wood to ignite so I can get on with the program of baking cookies and crullers and buns and peppernuts today."
'Well-'
"Oh, I sure hope you do, dearest Rocky, 'cos I have so, so much work I have to do today but I can't really get started 'cos I need to get my oven going first or else I won't be able to get the cookies and crullers and buns and peppernuts ready in time for when you and Mammi and Pappi show up. And that would really, really make me a sad, sad little Elf and like I said before, I refuse to be a sad, sad little Elf today…"
'Lotta… do you want me to come ov-'
As always when Epilotta Elf released the floodgates, she didn't have time for secondary functions, like listening to what was being said to her. Shuffling around in the armchair, she put her head on the right-hand side armrest, her right foot down on the floor, and her entire left leg up against the backrest. "And that's just half of it… I need to carry seventeen boxes of Yuletide decorations down from the attic… and get the Yuletree out of the basement… and decorate the Yuletree… and prepare the presents that need to go under the Yuletree…" - deep breath - "and write name tags and apply them to the proper presents… and place the presents under the Yuletree… and carry spare chairs and the wings for the dining table down from the attic…" - deep breath - "and find a Yuletide-themed tablecloth for the dining table… I settled for the Yuletide-red one. Mammi loves that tablecloth. Then I need to find tumblers, port glasses and ale mugs… and the fine cutlery… and the fine bowls…" - deep breath - "and half a dozen ale coasters… and the cork table mats… and dress the dining table… and mix the egg nog… and mix the mulled wine… and cook the mulled wine… and put the good port down in the basement…" - deep breath - "and make four thermos' of Yule-tea… and prepare the cooking chocolate… and get three kegs of-"
Ding-Dong!
"Hang on, dearest Rocky. Someone's at the front door," Lotta said and shuffled around inside the armchair so she was right-side up. Moving into the hallway, she pinned down the snow cone between her cheek and her shoulder while she grabbed hold of the doorknob. "It's probably Trickamore Elf," she said into the snow cone. "I invited her over for the post-Yuletide bash 'cos she was stood up by her date…"
As the door swooshed open, the Elf outside was revealed to be none other than Rockabye 'Rocky' Elf whose long, dark hair had been tousled and blown back by the fierce headwind that had blasted her on her break-neck journey through Elf Springs.
"Buh…" Lotta said, staring up at Rocky's grinning face, down at the snow cone, and finally up at Rocky once more. "I gotta go now, Rocky. My dearest, dearest friend just showed up at my doorstep," she said into the snow cone while grinning so broadly she could hardly speak.
"Greetings, sweet Lotta," the honest-to-Elfness Rockabye Elf said, stepping into the hall of Lotta's Pine Cone Villa. Pointing up at the mistletoe, she pulled her sweetheart into a deep kiss that left the petite Elf a boneless lady-Elf.
Lotta snickered into her hand as they separated. Letting out a contented sigh, she leaned her head against Rocky's chest and snuggled down into the firm grip. "Ahhhh… I needed that."
"I thought you might," Rocky said and let out a goofy snicker that was soon responded to in kind.
It wasn't until the two Elves had closed the front door and had gone into the hall beyond it that Lotta realized that Rocky's outfit was so stylish and elegant she had rarely seen anything like it. "Corn-on-a-cob!" she said and took a step back to get the full picture.
Rocky would usually wear one of her beloved long-haul sleigh-driver's outfits every day, every week, every month, every year and for every occasion, but for the post-Yuletide bash, she had slipped into a royal-blue, uniform-like outfit consisting of a straight-cut jacket sporting a starched collar that stood up at the back, a pair of royal-blue, straight-legged pants, and a pair of black, shiny ankle-boots. The jacket carried several, swirling highlights in burnt orange at the collar, the breast pockets and the cuffs, and when Rocky unbuttoned it, it was revealed to hide a cobalt-blue shirt that was a perfect match to her eyes. For a change, she wasn't wearing an Elf hat which really let her dark hair stand out.
"Oh, my Elfin word!" Lotta breathed, lapping up the exquisite garments. A blush spread over her cheeks when she realized she was ogling her dearest friend, and she let out an embarrassed snicker into her hand. "Why, dearest Rocky… that's certainly a good look for you…" she said, reaching out to sneak an arm around the sleigh-driver's cobalt-blue waist.
"Thank you. You look… uh…" Rocky said and gave her sweetheart a quick once-over as well. The petite Elf was dressed in a hastily-slapped together ensemble consisting of a sooty apron, an Elfin dress that had seen better days, and a white shirt that was anything but after spending so much time inside the wood-burning stove. The less said about Lotta's hair, the better. Instead of her customary, flaming red locks, her hair had turned soot-black in places which made it appear that she had been trying to dye her hair, but had given up halfway through. "Uh… rustic," she added with a grin.
"I know… it's that cotton-candy stove! That's why I wanted to call you in the first place. I can't get the cotton-candy kindle-wood to ignite!" Lotta said, shuffling back into the kitchen to point out the recalcitrant appliance. "There must be something wrong. How something so common-looking can be such a tickle-monster, I'll never know…"
"Let me look at it," Rocky said and began taking her jacket off.
"Oh-ho-no! I won't allow that, dearest Rocky… not with you dressed like that," Lotta continued, holding her dearest friend back with a clean index finger. "I'm already filthy so I'll do it. Just tell me what to do, and I'll get it done. Or explode trying, by the Great Elf."
Grinning, Rocky swept her jacket back over her shoulders and settled for leaning against the doorjamb to the kitchen. "Well, if you say so. All right, sweet Lotta. First, you need to take…"
---
Once the wood-burning stove was full of burning logs that crackled merrily - and Lotta had recovered from the harsh fact that she had simply forgotten to release the lever for the air vent before trying to ignite the kindle-wood - Rocky was ready for the next item of Lotta's endless work sheet. There was something she had to do first, however, and it involved the presents she had brought for the post-Yuletide bash.
Looking out of her kitchen window, Lotta could hardly believe her eyes when she cast a glimpse at the white world outside. Down at the curb on Chestnut Street, Rocky's custom-built sleigh carried so many gifts up on the flatbed that the bench seat was hardly visible.
Though the sleigh-driver was most decidedly not dressed for schmutting, she walked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, no less than six times carrying armfuls of presents that she deposited in the living room close to where the Yuletree would be put up.
Just as Rocky left the Pine Cone Villa for the next batch of presents, Lotta zipped into the living room to spy on the many boxes that were all protected by neat, colorful Yuletide wrapping-paper. For each present she checked out, the furrows across her forehead grew in number and depth. There were presents galore, but not one, single one of them had Lotta's name on it. "Buh…" she croaked, shaking her head when the next present was destined to go somewhere else as well - it was a rectangular box, and it was meant for her Pappi.
When Lotta heard the front door begin to creak indicating that Rocky was on her way into the living room with another armful of gifts, she jumped up and zipped into the kitchen the fastest her short legs would go so she wouldn't get caught. One of the biggest no-nos an Elf could commit in the whole, wide Elfin world was to peek at - or worse, shake - the presents under the Yuletree ahead of time. It ranked right up there with cheating in Olsen, badmouthing a fellow Elf, or even taking all the melted butter for oneself when sharing a bowl of rice pudding.
Lotta made it into the kitchen with plenty of time to spare before Rocky carried the final armful of presents into the living room. Whistling a Yuletide favorite through her teeth like nothing at all had been going on while Rocky had been busy outside, Lotta picked up a tea towel and began to wipe down the cutlery and the fine bowls they would need for the dinner table.
The whistling was echoed by Rocky who appeared in the doorway. When the two Elves looked at each other, they broke out in identical goofy snickers that rendered them unable to continue the slightly off-key whistling. "So," Rocky said, stepping into the kitchen. "What's next on your lengthy work sheet, sweet Lotta?"
"Well, preparing all this for starters," Lotta said and gestured at the piles of cutlery and bowls, and the battalion of tumblers and ale mugs that needed to be dunked in hot water. "But I got that part. If you would go down into the basement and get the Yuletree, I would be very pleased with you, dearest Rocky," she continued, giving her dearest friend a series of warm winks.
"Will do. Oh, I better check the branches for little friends…"
Lotta had already picked up the next set of cutlery when she stopped and turned back to Rocky. "Uh… I'm quite sure you won't find any rodents down in my basement…"
"Naw!" Rocky said and broke out in another goofy snicker. "I was thinking more along the lines of yodeling folk musicians! I bin so schön, i bin so doll… i bin der Anton aus Tirooooool!" - Rocky's singing could be heard all through the hallway and down the basement stairs until the wooden structure muffled her voice too much for it to carry up to the kitchen.
While all that Elfin merriness had been going on, Lotta had just stood there with starry eyes and a wide grin etched onto her face. "Oh, I love that big, bad lady-Elf so much," she mumbled, taking the first of the ale mugs and dunking it into the hot water.
*
*
CHAPTER 2
The moment when the hourglass turned and the afternoon became early evening was typically an opportunity for some quiet reflection for the members of the Elfin community. When the sun slipped down near the horizon and painted everything in golden light and long shadows, it was time to put one's feet up and kick back. Some read the Elf Springs Gazette while sipping a glass of port or sweet white ale. Others began preparing for dinner, and others still watched the setting sun in the arms of their loved ones.
Not so for the members of the Epilotta Elf household. While Rocky kept herself busy hanging all sorts of gorgeous Yuletide decorations on the branches of the Yuletree - she had been given free choice from the seventeen boxes and crates she had carried down from the attic - Lotta tore back and forth between her upstairs bedroom and the downstairs kitchen.
During one of the frantic passes, Rocky needed to do not a double, but a triple-take when a very pink, and highly under-dressed Epilotta flew down the staircase and right past the living room to get a roasting pan of cookies out of the oven. Chuckling, Rocky turned her back to the door to give her sweetheart some privacy for when she needed to zip the other way. There was still plenty to do with the tree, but her work was progressing nicely.
After hanging an abundance of wooden and felt Elves, cardboard Santas, Elfin cornets, woven Yuletide hearts, and decorative glass balls in red, white, gold, silver and even purple onto the tree, she draped it in long reams of lametta, and two, even longer rows of flags representing Greenland and the Elfin colors.
The candles were next, and she carefully twisted the sixteen Yuletree-lights into gold candlesticks that had an Elfin-shaped ball of lead at the bottom to get them perfectly balanced. Finding good branches for the candlesticks always posed a problem no matter the size or the shape of the Yuletree, but she was able to find great spots for all sixteen candles without too much drama.
Stepping back, Rocky rubbed her chin and let out a "Hmmm…" as she took in the sight of the decorated Yuletree. In her opinion, it was a splendid sight and she couldn't find anything that needed to be adjusted. The main attraction was still missing, however - the Great Elf-figurine that tradition dictated should always grace the top of any Yuletree.
The centuries-old, silk paper-lined wooden box that held the white porcelain figurine was ready on the sideboard, but Rocky knew that Lotta would become a sad, sad little Elf if she wasn't allowed to put the Great Elf on the tree herself, so she left the figurine in the box for the time being and shuffled over to stand in the doorway to the hall. "Sweet Lotta, do you have time to put the Great Elf on the tree now?" she said loudly so her voice would carry into the kitchen.
'Not just now, dearest Rocky! Do you feel like sampling a steaming hot Yuletide cookie?'
Before the last words had even left Lotta's mouth, Rocky appeared in the doorway to the kitchen wearing a broad grin and a comically raised eyebrow. "Oh, what kind of question is that, Epilotta Elf?" she said in a mock-accusing voice.
Lotta broke out in a snicker, but since she carried a full wire rack of cookies she had just taken out of the oven, she couldn't conceal her snickering with her hand like she preferred. Once the boiling hot wire rack had been put on the kitchen table, she snatched the next one that had a whole bunch of raw, doughy peppernuts on it. The rack with the globular, peppery cookies was soon inserted into the oven, and the metal gate closed and sealed.
"Oh, by the Great Elf… this is hard work! Even harder than last night," Lotta croaked and wiped her damp forehead. "By the way, I need you to sample the egg nog as well. I've already gone a little woozy from trying it, so I can't tell if it's spot-on or not… I don't know… but I feel something is missing," Lotta continued, reaching into the ice box and retrieving a bowl of a creamy, yellowish-white substance.
"The egg nog? I thought you were talking about cookies," Rocky said and moved fully into the kitchen. Finding a tea-spoon, she dipped it into the alcoholic drink and took a sip. She smacked her Elfin lips a couple of times to get everything out of the taste, but she had a hard time making up her mind. "Hmmm…" she said, licking the final drop off the spoon.
"That's what I said," Lotta said and tried one more tea-spoon for good luck. Like her dearest friend, she smacked her Elfin lips and let out a "Hmmm… no, there's definitely something missing. Corn-on-a-cob!"
"Yeah…"
"Maybe it's the nutmeg… I ran out halfway through, but I thought I had already put enough in it. Oh, enough with the whining… Elves don't whine! Elves eat cookies!" she continued, snatching up one of the fresh cookies and popping it into her yap at once. When she chewed on it, her eyes rolled around in her head, and she let out a lustful groan.
Laughing at what she thought was theatrics, Rocky reached for a hot cookie of her own. As she began chewing on it, she wasn't prepared for the richness of the taste, and she let out a moan not dissimilar to the one that had just escaped Lotta's throat. "Sugar plum mush, these cookies are sensational!" she said, staring at the other half of the cookie. It didn't take her long to throw the rest into her mouth and chew on it vociferously. "What… huh… it's been a while since I've had such a yummy cookie! Are they new? What are they called?"
A broad, proud smile graced Lotta's features, and she performed the Happy-Happy-Elf-Elf dance right there on the kitchen floor. "They don't have a name 'cos it's my own recipe! Oooooooh, I've struck gold! Two different blends of cinnamon, plenty of vanilla, crushed rock sugar on top… and they're oh-my-Great-Elf-yumm-mm-mmy!"
"I'll say," Rocky said and snatched another one of the steaming hot cookies. It was just as yummy, proving that Lotta's recipe was a clear winner. "What's next, sweet Lotta?"
"Well," Lotta said and wiped off her hands on a tea towel. "Next up is to get dressed so Mammi and Pappi won't catch me wearing these old rags, then put the Great Elf on the tree, then begin working on the rice pudding so there's time for a bowl-ful to cool off for the cold pudding with the whole-berry cherry sau- Rocky! Did we remember to get the-"
"Yep. I did that myself when I put your father's port down there. The jar of whole-berry cherry sauce is in the living room so it'll be nice and lukewarm.
"Phew!" Lotta said and let out a sigh of relief. "That's so Elfin great to hear. Thank you so much, my dearest, dearest Rocky."
Rocky's smile turned a little shy, and she shimmied back and forth in a good facsimile of Lotta's typical gesture. "Oh, you're most welcome, sweet Lotta. Is there anything I can do while you get dressed? How about if I arrange all the presents under the Yuletree?"
"Oh yes, that would be really nice," Lotta said and clapped her hands. Turning around, she looked through the kitchen window to check out the sunset and the rapidly fading light. "The sun's almost gone. Pappi said they'd leave when the sun would set, so it won't be long before they're here… oh, I need to change," she continued, reaching behind her back to untie the bow tie on the apron.
Almost inevitably, she couldn't get it untied. Moving around in a slow circle like one of the vicious mutts chasing its own tail, Lotta tried to look over her shoulder so she could see better, but no matter what she did, the knot was impossible to untangle. A frustrated growl rose from the petite Elf's throat until a "Sugar plum mush!" burst forth, followed by the heel of a boot that was slammed onto the floorboards.
"Lotta… Lotta, let me help," Rocky said, stretching out her arms - however, her offer fell on deaf, pointy ears as Lotta continued trying to undo the bow tie herself. "Lotta… please… Lotta… Epilotta Elf, will you stand still so I can reach the cotton-candy thing!" she finally barked.
The command made Lotta let out a snicker and come to a stock-still halt. As expected, it only took Rocky's long fingers oh-point-three of an Elfin second to untie the tangled mess that had been created by Lotta's frequent, and stubborn, tugging.
When Lotta had been liberated from the apron, she spun around and wrapped her arms around her dearest friend's body. "Thank you again, Rocky… here's a little kiss for your bother, mmmua!" she said, standing up on tip-toes to place a warm smooch on the long-haul sleigh-driver's lips.
"You're welcome. Go get changed… you better hustle, sweet Lotta."
"I'm hustling! I'm hustling!" Lotta cried as she zipped down the hallway and up the staircase. Halfway up, she broke out in a spirited rendition of the third verse of the Hustle And Bustle song - one of her all-time Yuletide favorites.
Rocky was left holding the filthy apron in the middle of the kitchen, but she didn't mind. Chuckling, she snatched another of Lotta's excellent cookies before she shuffled into the downstairs bathroom to deposit the apron in the laundry basket. As the spirited singing continued to waft down the staircase from the upstairs bedroom, Rocky couldn't help but shake her head and break out in a cheesy grin. "Oh, help me, Great Elf… I'm head over heels in love with that cute li'l Elf… un-bee-lee-va-bell," she said, looking at the ceiling like the Great Elf herself had an eye on Chestnut Street at that exact moment.
The cheesy grin turned more reflective when she reached into her jacket pocket to make sure the special gift was still there. It was, but the butterflies were beginning to make their presence felt in Rocky's tummy.
-*-*-*-
It didn't take long for Lotta to return from her bedroom, but the petite Elf's appearance had been transformed completely by the change of clothes. Instead of the low-key dress she always used when she was doing her household chores, she wore a magnificent, traditional Elfin dress held in Yuletide-red with silver highlights around the shoulder straps, the waist and the lower hem. The pleated, knee-length skirt alternated between Yuletide-red and forest-green revealing that the inside of the skirt was mostly green. The two, broad straps at the shoulders were held in place by three silver buttons each, and covered an off-white, puff-cuff shirt that sported an o-neck and a forest-green embroidery that followed the line of buttons.
Elsewhere on the spectacular ensemble, Lotta wore knee-high white socks, polished, pale-brown clogs, and her prized Santa's A-Team floppy-cone Elf hat with the golden bobble. Her hair was done up to follow the age-old Elfin traditions, and had been pulled back in an elaborate bun at her neck that was held in place by a silver barrette.
"Oh, dearest Rocky? Would you mind giving me your Elfin-honest opinion of my outfit?" she said as she descended the staircase; though she needed to hurry, she took each step very carefully so the clogs wouldn't trip her up and send her flying downstairs in an unruly heap of Elf, elegant clothes and rock-hard wooden clogs.
Rocky came out of the kitchen munching on yet another cookie. From one step to the next, the long-haul sleigh-driver stopped dead in her tracks to stare at the Elfin Goddess who just stepped off the staircase and strolled down the hallway toward her. Since no Elf anywhere in the Elfin world would speak through a mouthful of cookie - perhaps a few would, but certainly not Rockabye Elf no matter how spectacular the sight was - she chewed like crazy to get everything down before she shook her head in awe and wonder. "You look amazing, sweet Lotta! What a beautiful dress. Oh, I've said it before and I'll say it again… you're just like a marzipan piggy. Cute-"
"Yeah, yeah," Lotta said and snickered into her hand. Spinning around to make the pleated skirt stand out, she put her hands akimbo and cocked her Elfin hips just to impress her dearest friend a little more. "So… is it good enough?"
"It's far better than merely good enough. By the Great Elf, you look positively scrumptious!"
Lotta broke out in another bout of snickering as she hurried forward and leaped into her dearest friend's arms. "I don't think I've ever been called that before!"
"Now you have."
After giving Rocky a good squeeze, Lotta stepped back with a furrow appearing on her fair brow. "I still have an Elfin-long list of things to do, so how about we put the Great Elf on the tree now? I'll need the step-ladder."
"I already put it in the living room," Rocky said and took Lotta by the hand. Moving swiftly, she led her sweetheart into the room where the Yuletree was ready for the last piece of decoration. "The ladder is there, and the Great Elf is there," she continued, pointing at the two items in turn.
"Aww, thank you… this means so, so much to me," Lotta said and moved over to the sideboard to take the precious Great Elf-figurine from the wooden box. She looked at it with misty eyes for a few moments before she carried it back to the Yuletree displaying the same amount of care that she would had she been cradling a newborn Elf.
Climbing the step-ladder, she paused at the top to gaze fondly at the porcelain figurine. "As an itty-bitty-little Elf, I always watched in wide-eyed wonder when Grandmammi and Mammi decorated our Yuletrees. This was always my favorite part… I've had my own Yuletree for a good number of years now, but it's still a magical moment for any Elf… don't you think so, dearest Rocky?"
"I do," Rocky said, guffawing inwardly at the sequence of seemingly innocuous words, and at the second meaning they held. It was high time to change the subject before something embarrassing would happen that she would need to explain - like blushing - so she stepped closer pretending to marvel at the figurine. "Can you reach the top? The Yuletree you found for this Season to be Jolly is kinda big…"
Lotta tore her eyes away from the white figurine to see what Rocky meant - she was right: The tree seemed bigger than usual, which meant the top was just a fraction further away. "Uh… I think so," she said, testing her reach with her free hand so no harm could come to the Great Elf if she lost her balance. "Oh… that's a no-can-reach. Sugar plum mush!"
"Tree too tall?"
"Arms too short!" Lotta growled from the top step of the ladder. Looking down at her feet, she tried to stand up on tip-toes, but she was unable to wearing the rigid, wooden clogs. "Oh, corn-on-a-cob… Rocky… I… we… we have a problem! A big, old tickle-monster of a problem!"
"Fear not, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and stepped up on the lowest rung of the ladder. Although the tool creaked under the combined weight of the two lady-Elves, it held up. "Don't be startled when you feel my hands around your waist. All right, I'm just gonna… gonna… yep. Are you ready?"
"I'm ready for anyth- Ooooooooooooooh!" - When Lotta found herself lifted another five inches in the air by Rocky's strong hands, she not only let out a squeal of raw delight, she reached out at once to slip the Great Elf-figurine down onto the Yuletree's pointy top. "There! There, I got it… I got it, dearest Rocky!"
After lowering her sweetheart down onto the top rung, Rocky stepped off the ladder to take in the sight of the fully decorated Yuletree. "Oh, look at the Great Elf up there… so nice," she said, pointing at the white, porcelain figurine that graced the top of the tree.
Jumping down onto the ground, Lotta flew into her dearest friend's arms with no regards for the state of her own dress - or even her hair. "Oh, thank you so, so much, dearest Rocky! I can't tell you what a sad, sad, little Elf I would have been if I hadn't been able to put the Great Elf on the Yuletree like she is supposed to!"
"I had a hunch…"
"Oh, if the Great Elf isn't atop the Yuletree when the candles are lit, we'll suffer through a whole year of misfortune!" - Deep breath - "It says so right there in the Great Elfin Book of Yuletide Traditions that I read from cover to cover just the other day to find all the little things I needed to do to make this a memorable Yuletide for Mammi and Pappi and you and myself, of course, and now that the Great Elf is atop the Yuletree, we won't have any misfortune," - deep breath - "and we can have a warm, loving, delightful Yuletide Eve… well, it's not eve, and Yuletide was yesterday, but you know what I mean… oh, never mind that now. I need a little kiss, or better still, a big ol' kiss, and then I need to hustle into the kitchen to make some more rice pudding or else it'll never be done by the time Mammi and Pappi show up," - deep breath - "and you know how big they are on traditions! Oh, I can't wait… kiss me, quick!"
"Always happy to deliv- mmmph!" Rocky started saying, but her lips were claimed by an excited, redheaded Elf who seemed to have other ideas on her mind than talking.
The kiss was over almost before it had begun, so Lotta came racing back for a second helping since the first had been far, far too little for her tastes. Snickering, she raced back into the kitchen to begin working on the next bowl-ful of rice pudding.
Rocky was left smoothing down her hair after the ferocious kissing, but, like the business with the filthy apron, she didn't mind one little bit. Chuckling, she strolled into the living room to stoke the fire so the temperature would be just right for when the guests would arrive.
---
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
'Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, they're here! They're here! They're here… already!' Lotta squealed from the kitchen. 'How can they be here al-… I'm not rea-… Rocky, I… I can't… you gotta… Rocky?!'
"I got it, I got it…" Rocky said, moving through the hall to get to the front door. Opening it, she put on her best smile which wasn't hard to find. Unlike the tall tales she had been told of horrendous tickle-monster in-laws - or potential in-laws - from her long-haul buddies Jasper Elf and Sven Elf who were both confirmed bachelors, she cared for Lotta's parents Thorbjorn Elf and Ingeborg Elf.
The two mature Elves waited patiently on the doorstep, but when the door was whooshed open to welcome them into the warm, golden light, they stepped inside and broke out in broad smiles at once.
"Oh! Greetings, dearest Rockabye! Merry Yuletide!" Ingeborg Elf said, wrapping her arms around Rocky's taller body to give the sleigh-driver an Elfin hug. In her mid-five-hundreds, Ingeborg Elf was virtually a filled-out version of her daughter. They shared so many facial features it was uncanny; apart from the different body types, they could be sisters if viewed in a dim light.
To protect herself from the late December nippy-nosyness, Ingeborg Elf wore a forest-green winter coat made of loden , but she took it off to reveal an Elfin Yuletide dress not unlike her daughter's.
"Greetings, Ingeborg Elf. Merry Yuletide… here, let me take that," Rocky said and took the winter coat. She wasn't slow in finding a hanger for it, and reached up to put it on the wooden board on the wall so it would be out of the way.
Behind Rocky, Thorbjorn Elf stepped inside the hall and closed the front door so they wouldn't let all the warmth escape into the rosy-cheeky evening. "Merry Yuletide, Miss Rockabye Elf," he said and put out his arm. Thorbjorn was only in his late five-hundreds, but his short, full beard had already turned salt-and-pepper. Like his wife, he wore traditional Elfin garb in the shape of a short jacket, a white, o-neck shirt with forest-green highlights at the collar, and dark-tan knickerbockers that were held up by narrow, Yuletide-red suspenders. Below the short, puffy pants, he wore white, knee-high socks and black shoes.
As Rocky clasped the offered arm, she performed a slight bow at the Elf elder. "Merry Yuletide, Mr. Thorbjorn, Sir."
"Oh, Miss Rockabye!" Thorbjorn said, waving his free arm at the younger lady-Elf. "None o' that stuffy formality now! Please! This is the Night of Nights… or what counts as the Night of Nights in our li'l family this year. I'm Thorbjorn. All right?"
"Sure," Rocky said with a grin, "but only if you call me Rocky."
"Deal," Thorbjorn said and reached around the sleigh-driver to slap her back a couple of times. Moving away from the slightly taller Elf, he took off his jacket and hung it from the row of hangers.
The next moment saw an Elf dressed mostly in Yuletide-red flash through the door and into her mother's waiting arms. Lotta and Ingeborg let out identical squeals as they gave each other a fair-sized hug and rubbed each other's backs. "Mammi! Pappi!" Lotta squealed, rushing from her mother to her father. "Oh, it's so, so good to see you here! Welcome to the post-Yuletide bash at my humble abode!"
"Thank you, Epilotta," Thorbjorn said, going straight into one of the family's age-old Yuletide traditions by lifting his petite daughter off her feet and swinging her around with a strong bear-hug.
Lotta squealed out loud at the strong grip around her waist, and when she was let back down on the ground, she kissed her father's fuzzy cheeks. "Oh, Pappi, you remembered!"
"But of course… I need to do it while you're still my little Elf-girl, right?" Thorbjorn Elf said and cast a cheeky gaze at Rocky like he wanted to say more, but didn't.
Acting on instinct alone, Rocky reached into her jacket pocket to check if the special, little box was still there. It was, and she moved her hand back up to use it as a pointer. "Thorbjorn, Ingeborg… please, come into the living room. The fireplace is roaring so it's really nice and comfy. We have snacks and egg nog and mulled wine with plenty of almonds, cloves and raisins in case you wish to have an aperitif."
"Oooooh! Egg nog!" Thorbjorn Elf said, rubbing his hands.
Smiling warmly at the easy-going interaction between her parents and her dearest friend, Lotta began to shimmy back and forth like she was late for an appointment with the little Elves' room. "Mammi, Pappi, I need to hustle back to the kitchen to stay on top of the rice pudding, but I'll join you in the living room in a wee while." She didn't even stay long enough to hear the replies, but keeping the rice pudding alive and healthy was more important.
Ingeborg chuckled at her daughter before she turned back to her other hostess. "Snacks and a little aperitif sound really yummy, Rockabye… thank you very much," she said before she turned to her husband of the past two-hundred and seventy-five years and gave his arm a tender, little touch. "But before we get to the refreshments, you'll get the presents… won't you, dear?"
"Uh… now? But the egg nog…" Thorbjorn said, looking over his wife's shoulder at the living room and the many splendors he imagined were waiting for him there. One look into Ingeborg's eyes proved that she did indeed mean 'now,' so he let out a sigh and grabbed his jacket again.
Grunting, Rocky reached for her gloves that were already in the hallway. "I'll help you, Thorbjorn… and you don't have to worry. There's plenty of egg nog for everybody."
"Well, I'll bless the Great Elf for that!" Thorbjorn Elf said and broke out in a snicker that was so reminiscent of the countless snickers produced by his daughter that Rocky almost experienced a deja vu right there.
As Rocky and Thorbjorn left the hall and creaked down the snow-covered garden path, Ingeborg Elf remained in the doorway for a moment or two before the chill crept up her Elfin legs. "Oh, it'll be so Elfin good to get to know Rockabye better. She's such a sweetie… and just the right one for my precious, little Epilotta," she whispered to no-one in particular.
Snickering into her hand at the thought of what the evening would hold for all of them, she made sure that her daughter hadn't heard what she had whispered. The clinging-clanging sounds and the muted singing of the Elf Trekking Song wafting out of the kitchen proved that Lotta was still busy with the pots, pans and wooden ladles.
-*-*-*-
Like Rocky had promised, the fireplace in the living room was roaring, and the heat and the flickering, orange flames generated by the logs Lotta had chopped earlier in the day created a cozy Yuletide atmosphere fit for an Elf or four.
The spirits were high among the four Elves present at the post-Yuletide bash at the Pine Cone Villa, no doubt helped by the egg nog and the tray of homemade cookies that had been served, and even Lotta had come so far in her lengthy work sheet that she had time to celebrate the Yuletide with her parents and her dearest friend.
With the set dinner table being off-limits until the official Yuletide feast, they were sitting at the low table by the fireplace so they were exposed to the full brunt of the flickering flames: Ingeborg and Thorbjorn Elf occupied the couch, and Lotta sat in Rocky's lap in an armchair. Ingeborg Elf had brought a tin of exquisite chocolates and other types of high-quality confectionery, but she had laid down a strict law of only being allowed to take two pieces of candy each - much to Epilotta Elf's vocal displeasure.
"No, Epilotta. Two each, and you have already had that," Ingeborg Elf said as she clicked the lid back on the tin and put it away. Lotta's doey eyes and trembling chin didn't impress her all that much since she had seen it play out on her daughter's expressive face a thousand times before, but all in all, it was still a chuckle-worthy sight. To combat it, Ingeborg picked up her glass of egg nog and took another sip. "Oh, Rockabye, I could tell you many a story about when Epilotta was an itty-bitty Elf. Indeed I could… perhaps I should."
"Oh, Mammi," Lotta croaked while a blush tainted her cheeks Yuletide-red.
"Mmmm-yes," Ingeborg Elf continued, winking at her blushing daughter. "I remember our little firebrand-Elf here falling off a big, tall ladder… head-first, I might add… because she wanted to prove that lady-Elves could indeed work as gift-droppers though I and Thorbjorn were skeptical. Well, she could. And a mighty fine one she became, too."
"Aw, Mammi…"
"Or how about the time when Epilotta ran away from home? Remember that, dear?" Ingeborg Elf said and leaned forward so she could put a hand on her daughter's knee. "You packed a knapsack and ran away because you thought we were angry and upset with you. You wanted to do something nice for us, but you accidentally ruined an entire bowl of rice pudding by sprinkling it with black pepper instead of cinnamon…"
"Oh… by the Great Elf, I remember…" Lotta croaked, looking at her parents. "I didn't stop to read the label… I just took the jar… and… sprinkle-sprinkle-sprinkle. I took a deep sniff of the wonderful, wonderful cinnamon, but when my little, Elfin head nearly exploded from the sneezing, I knew I had done something bad… real bad."
Thorbjorn Elf chuckled into his short beard as he revisited the event in his mind's eye. "And I didn't know what had transpired until then, so I dug a spoon into the cotton-candy bowl and wolfed down a huge glob o' well-peppered pudding!"
"Ohhhhh!" Rocky said and let out a snicker.
"Yeah… it took a cotton-candy week for my tongue to get back to normal. Oh, Epilotta, dear… ya did stop to read the label this time, right?" Thorbjorn said, winking at his daughter while leaning forward.
Lotta nodded so hard her Santa's A-Team Elf hat nearly fell off her head. "Uh-huh! At least, I think I did… I must have, I haven't sneezed yet."
"Aw, just kiddin'. I know you'll make us a wonderful rice pudding," Thorbjorn Elf said and drained his third glass of egg nog. He was just about to ask Rocky for another refill when he felt his wife's eyes on him. Looking at Ingeborg, the message of putting a cork in it came through loud and clear, and he pushed the small glass away.
Lotta's cheeks still hadn't recovered from her Mammi's stories about her childhood mishaps, so she looked around her decorated living room while waiting for the fire in her skin to die out. Her parents had brought fourteen Yuletide presents, and they had been piled up under the Yuletree next to her own and Rocky's batch. Some were square, some were rectangular, some were round and some were soft - whatever the content, Lotta could hardly wait for when they were going to open the presents. The magical moment was still a long way off, but Yuletide Eve, or even the following afternoon, had a tendency to move at lightning speed.
She had to let out a snicker at the sight of her Pappi's beloved accordion that had been put in the corner close to the tree. It wasn't meant to be a gift for anyone, but the musical accompaniment for when they were going to dance around the Yuletree and sing all the traditional Yuletide favorites.
"Epilotta," Ingeborg Elf said and reached for her purse. "You have a wonderful, wonderful Yuletree this year… not to mention all the wonderful tinsel, the holly garlands, the many lights and the little cornets you've put up, but I do feel there's something missing from your collection."
Lotta's eyes were pulled away from the accordion in a hurry upon hearing her mother's words, but she let out a sigh of relief and relaxed at once when Ingeborg retrieved a small box from her purse. Like the box carrying the Great Elf-figurine, it was lined by several layers of silk paper, but the contents were perhaps even more special to Lotta than the porcelain figure that graced the top of the Yuletree.
"And the missing item is… this little Elf," Ingeborg Elf continued, carefully extracting a painted glass figurine from the small box. It was a faithful representation of an Elf from the rural areas outside Elf Springs, and the farmer-Elf wore clogs, pale-gray pants, a dark-gray-and-Yuletide-red striped shirt with a white collar, and finally a red, floppy-cone Elf hat. The Elf's beard had originally been white, but the passing of time - and the rubbing of countless, little Elfin fingers - had made the paint come off it so only the glassy surface remained.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh!" Lotta squealed. She leaned forward in a hurry which prompted Rocky to keep a firm grip around the petite waist. "By the Great Elf, that's the Bringer-Elf of Good Fortune and Elfin Happiness! Oh, Mammi, I loved that figurine when I was an itty-bitty Elf! Where did you find it? We've been searching high and low and everywhere twice for that little Elf!" she cried, leaning even further forward on Rocky's lap so she could get a better view of the priceless glass figurine.
It didn't take a professor-Elf of advanced reindeer flight-dynamics to see that Lotta was on a direct course to mash her nose against the tabletop if she kept up sitting in such a peculiar position, so Rocky wrapped her arms good and firm around her sweetheart's waist to keep her safe and in check.
Thorbjorn Elf chuckled at the tender display, and he leaned forward himself to poke Rocky's arm. "Some things never change. Back when Epilotta was an itty-bitty Elf, keeping a firm grip on her like that was the only thing that stopped her from turning into an Elfin tornado and wrecking everything in sight."
"Oh, it still is, Thorbjorn," Rocky said, sporting a cheesy grin.
"I hear ya. Now… I do believe there was a little more egg nog in the pot out there the last time I looked. Would ya mind if I… ya know," Thorbjorn replied, tapping an index finger on the rim of his empty glass. When a lady-Elf near him cleared her throat, his eyes stopped at Rocky and his daughter before they came to a rest at his wife whose raised eyebrow told him that he needed to forget all about getting a refill. Smirking, he did just that.
With the egg-nog-drama over for the time being, Ingeborg Elf rose from the couch and went over to the Yuletree. She observed the decorated branches for a short while before she made up her mind and put the Bringer-Elf of Good Fortune and Elfin Happiness next to one of the red-and-gold Yuletide cornets. "There," she said and moved back to admire the view.
"Thank you so much, Mammi," Lotta said and clapped her hands. Unfortunately, the shaking she produced made her slip off Rocky's legs heading for the carpet. She had already drawn a deep breath to produce one of those shrieks that sounded like an air-raid siren, but Rocky's firm grip around her waist prevented her from falling anywhere. "Oh! Thank you as well, my dearest Rocky!" she said, breaking out in a snicker as she clambered back up on the comfortable lap she had been sitting on.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
"Oh!" Lotta said, once more clapping her hands. "That must be my opposite-neighbor Trickamore Elf! She was stood up today, so I invited her over for the bash."
"Stood up?" Ingeborg Elf said in a clear fit of indignation. "On the day after the Night of Nights? Well, that's just rude! She's better off without such a Yuletide date!"
Thorbjorn Elf took the opportunity to get up and adjust his knickerbockers and his Yuletide-red suspenders. "While you greet your neighbor, Epilotta, I think I'll just visit the little Elf's room. The tide is high."
Lotta smiled and reached down to tickle Rocky's strong hands that were still wrapped around her waist. "Rocky, please… let me go… I need to let Trixie in so she won't think we've stood her up as well."
"I'll remove my hands… but I'll never let you go, sweet Lotta," Rocky said, mussing her sweetheart's flaming red locks with her mouth.
The tender statement produced three different reactions from the three members of Epilotta's immediate family: Lotta broke out in a furious blush, Ingeborg Elf let out a "D'awwwwww!" and Thorbjorn Elf grinned so broadly it could hardly fit on his face. While his wife was busy gazing at the sweet loving that went on between Rocky and Lotta, he reached down and scooped up the empty glass to get himself an egg nog-refill while he was down that end of the house.
---
"Greetings, Trixie! And Merry Yuletide!" Lotta said as she swooshed open the front door. The blush that Rocky's heartfelt message had brought on had barely receded, but she hoped the heat from the raging fireplace would camouflage it so she didn't have to explain anything.
"Merry Yuletide, Lotta! And thank you for inviting me," the young Trickamore Elf said as she put down a reed basket filled to the rim with Yuletide presents that were clearly home-made. She wore the same forest-green, hooded winter coat she had used earlier in the day, but it was quickly shed to reveal a floppy-cone Elf hat and an elegant Elfin dress not dissimilar to the one Lotta wore, except that it was in ocean-blue and sported a large, golden embroidery on the front.
"Oooooh, that's a beautiful, beautiful dress, Trixie!" Lotta said and tried to reach for the hanger so she could put away her neighbor's coat. Her arms were too short as always, so she flipped the coat over her elbow for the time being. "Mammi and Pappi and Rocky are in the living room, so why don't you go in there and introduce yourself? Oh, and please ask Rocky to come out here…"
"I will, Lotta," Trickamore said and took the reed basket with the many presents. Stopping, she spent a long moment sniffing the countless fragrances that swirled around in the warm air inside the Pine Cone Villa. "Oh… those cinnamon cookies sure smell yummy! Did you eat them all, or…"
"We've got plenty of cookies, Trixie! Plenty of peppernuts and crullers and cookies and more cookies and even more cookies and egg nog and mulled wine and we can make hot chocolate if you prefer that," - deep breath - "and the rice pudding is blubbering merrily in the big, big pot and we've got plenty of cinnamon and a pool of melted butter and we're all set for a holly, jolly ol' Yuletide bash" - deep breath - "with plenty of food and drink and merry singing and good company of friends and loved ones… and presents! Plenty of presents!"
Trickamore and Lotta both let out wild snickers at the prospects, and Trickamore even leaned in to offer her hostess a little kiss on the cheek - they were standing near the mistletoe, after all. "I'll go in and greet everybody now… I can't wait for the Yuletide dinner!"
"Neither can I," Lotta said and broke out in another snicker and a happy, little Elfin-dance.
The first Elf to show up who had a longer reach than Lotta wasn't Rocky, but Thorbjorn Elf who came back from the kitchen. After taking care of his daughter's needs regarding Trickamore Elf's winter coat, he rubbed her arms and pulled her into a brief hug. "The egg nog is just great this year, Epilotta. You've grown into a fantastic hostess. You'll be a perfect wife for… somebody."
The last part of the statement was delivered with a sly wink that Lotta didn't know how to respond to. Furrowing her brow, she offered her father a smile, but that was about it. "Well… thank you, Pappi. Rocky was a great help today. I couldn't have done it without her."
"I believe ya. She's a big, tough lady-Elf, isn't she? Big and tough, but also warm and kind. That's a winning combination right there if ya ask me," Thorbjorn Elf said and caressed his daughter's flushed cheek. He licked his lips like he wanted to go on, but he kept it to himself. Instead, he grinned and moved the hand down to wrap around Lotta's shoulder. "Let's go back to the living room. I want to greet your opposite-neighbor before her pointy ears fall off from listening to your Mammi yappin' on!"
"Ohhhh, Pappi," Lotta said and snickered into her hand. Her father's words about Rocky rolled around in her Elfin mind, but she didn't have enough data yet to parse them properly. All in all, it stacked up to being just a little on the odd side of the Elfin fence, but not odd enough to cause concern. Stowing it away for later analysis, Lotta smiled at her Pappi as she and the older Elf strolled back into the living room.
-*-*-*-
The post-Yuletide bash was off to a great start; Lotta wasn't worried about the final part, either - singing, dancing and getting plenty of presents were highlights in any Elf's life, and thus practically impossible to ruin or otherwise foul up. What kept her so nervous she could smoke a carrot was the middle part. The food. The rice pudding with a sprinkling of cinnamon and a pool of melted butter, and the cold pudding with the whole-berry cherry sauce and the chipped almonds. The fact that her parents were there sent herself and the whole Elfin mess another notch toward the upper, red line that carried a label that read: 'Warning: Elfin Meltdown Imminent.'
Following Trickamore Elf's arrival, they were seated differently around the low table: Ingeborg Elf had inherited the armchair, and Thorbjorn Elf sat at the far end of the couch. Trickamore was in the middle, and Rocky and Lotta shared a seat and a half down the other end so Lotta could leave in a hurry whenever she needed to go into the kitchen.
Trickamore, Thorbjorn and Ingeborg shared a humorous anecdote, and spoke as if they had known each other since the dawn of Elfin time. It warmed Lotta's heart to see her kind, friendly opposite-neighbor being accepted by her parents so quickly. At times, they could be somewhat distant, or even a little hostile, if they didn't appreciate an Elf. It had happened a few times, and the results were never pretty. Lotta distinctly remembered being visited by a date when she still lived with her parents - it wasn't anything serious, just a little summer fling, but after the way her parents had spoken to him, the fling fizzled out within days.
So far, everything had been going well, but Lotta wasn't about to let down her defenses just yet. Her home-made cinnamon cookies had been such a smash hit among the five Elves that the tray had been cleaned out in no time flat, and that had certainly made her a proud, little Elf. The bowl of egg nog had been drained dry as well, and she hadn't expected that, especially not when not only she but Rocky had felt that something was missing from the mix - her father in particular had said it was the best egg nog he had ever tasted. They were now working on the bowl of mulled wine, but the interest in that was a little less, and Lotta found herself wishing she hadn't bothered with that at all but had gone for the hot chocolate and whipped cream instead.
The worst was yet to come, however: the rice pudding. For any Elf, the quality of the rice pudding was the defining factor in how that Elf would be perceived by his or her peers. Rice pudding had often been called a stubborn, short-tempered tickle-monster that was perpetually in a foul mood, and those would all be good descriptors. The beloved Yuletide dish was notoriously difficult to get right for any Elf-cook who wasn't an all-out professional, but it was the cornerstone of the Yuletide dinner so it needed to be there, and it needed to be perfect.
Sighing, Lotta leaned into Rocky's warm body. It had been far too long since she and her dearest friend had cuddled and kissed, but there just hadn't been enough time to do it properly. There still wasn't, but a little kiss was needed, so she craned her neck to place a small smooch on Rocky's cheek.
It seemed that a little one wasn't enough by far for either of them, because Rocky turned her head so she had access to her sweetheart's lips. The kiss that followed was an unhurried affair meant to instill confidence in Lotta with regards to the rest of the evening - whether it worked was too early to tell, but it certainly didn't stop Rocky from offering it.
Lotta broke out in a smile as she pulled her lips back from her dearest friend. Snickering wildly, she shuffled around to get free of Rocky's limbs that were suddenly clinging onto her own like burrs. It took her a little while, but she eventually found an escape route and moved away from her touchy-feely friend. When she got clear, she spun around and stuck out her tongue at Rocky - a gesture that was responded to in kind. "Mammi, Pappi, Trixie… dearest Rocky," Lotta said, putting her hands in the air to ask for a gap to speak in, "it's almost time for the great, big, Elfin Yuletide dinner. I suggest that you move over to the dinner table and take your seats-"
"Ah, regarding that," Ingeborg Elf said as she rose from the armchair. "The seating arrangements will be slightly different this year, Epilotta dear. I won't be on your right. Rockabye will. Seems fitting."
Thorbjorn Elf grunted an affirmative reply, but Lotta's smile melted from her face at once at the implications. Though she liked to consider herself an Elf who could think on her feet and make snap decisions during schmutting operations, she preferred everything to stick to the pre-set plan when she was at home - and the larger the event, the less space she had for spontaneity. "But… that's a lovely thought, Mammi, but… I've… we've already set the table and… and… and I don't have time to-"
Ingeborg Elf waved her hand in dismissal. "We'll just swap the pudding bowls. I've set more than one table in my lifetime, Epilotta dear. I know what I'm doing."
"Of course, but…" Lotta said in wide-eyed worry. She began shuffling back and forth like she was prone to, but it didn't last long. "Oh, I better hurry. I can hear the rice pudding calling my name and it's sounding a little impatient." - With that, she was gone.
Rocky had already found her new spot at the dinner table, but she rose again at once and followed her sweetheart into the kitchen.
As the long-haul sleigh-driver left the living room, Thorbjorn Elf winked at the two lady-Elves present before he gave his wife's arm a little squeeze. "Well, I think we'll remember this Yuletide bash for a long, long time… don't you, Ingeborg dear?"
"Oh," Trickamore breathed in a major bout of lady-Elf-romance-induced swooning, "and did you see how they were kissing just now? Wasn't that just romantic?"
"Mmmm, it was indeed, Miss Trickamore! And yes I do, Thorbjorn. This is going to be an evening for the Elfin annals," Ingeborg Elf said as she moved around the lavish dinner table and sat down on the second chair from the right which had been Rocky's spot until she had decided differently.
Although identical tumblers, mugs, port glasses, plates, bowls and spoons were used for all five settings at the dinner table, Lotta had spent several days embroidering the names of three of her four guests onto cloth table napkins that had been tied around the pudding bowls so the Elves could see where they were supposed to sit. Trickamore's late-late invite meant that Lotta had been forced to improvise, so she had written her opposite-neighbor's name inside one of her unused, brightly-colored Yuletide cards using a Yuletide-red lithographic crayon.
As the lady-Elf of the house, Lotta would sit at the head of the table. Rocky would be at her immediate right following the reshuffling of the plan, with Ingeborg Elf as the next one on that side. Thorbjorn Elf and Trickamore Elf would sit on Lotta's left, with her father closest to her.
"Yes," Ingeborg Elf said quietly, rearranging a few items to make the Yuletide-red tablecloth stand out more. "Yes, this will be a Yuletide to remember…"
---
In the kitchen, Lotta quickly donned an apron so she could hover over the blubbering rice pudding without worrying she might get splattered by the angry tickle-monster hiding down in the pot. She had just put two additional logs in the wood-burning stove, and so far, everything looked to be going as it should. When the off-white substance began to get too active over the fire, she took a huge, wooden ladle and stirred several times to keep it happy.
The five-branch candlestick in the window had been joined by another just like it, and the ten candles offered plenty of light for Lotta's hard work at the stove. With the open fire, the candles, the blubbering rice pudding and the frequent stirring, it was hot work, and several beads had formed on Lotta's flushed forehead.
Smiling, Rocky took a spare napkin and shuffled over to her sweetheart to dab the glistening skin like a nurse-Elf would do to a surgeon-Elf. "It's smells so great, sweet Lotta… is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I still need to prepare the butter…" - STIR, stir, stir - "and if you could go down in the basement and fetch three kegs of sweet white ale," - stir, stir - "I would be a happy, happy, little Elf. Pappi's port should stay chilled" - stir, stir, STIR - "a little while longer. Oh! The whole-berry cherry sauce!" - stir, STIR, stir - "Rocky, I can't… remember… did… did… did we forget the-"
"No, no, no. It's on the sideboard next to the bowl of extra chipped almonds."
"Oh, thank the Great Elf." - STIR, stir, stir - "And thank you. Mmmua!"
Grinning, Rocky reached over to muss her sweetheart's neck just a little, but made sure to do it without causing an interruption in the strenuous stirring. "Oh, you're very welcome."
STIR, STIR, stir . Leaning down, Lotta sniffed the rice pudding and reached for the ground vanilla at once. After distributing a few pinches into the pot, she grabbed the ladle again and resumed stirring. "Hmmm, I don't know for sure, but I… oh, I feel like there's something… not wrong, but strange on this Eve." - Stir, STIR, stir - "Like I'm missing something. Or forgotten something. Whatever it is, there's definitely something odd going on tonight." - Stir, stir, STIR - "Pappi is so secretive and that's not like him at all. And Mammi is… well… she's also a bit off to how she usually behaves." - Stir, STIR, stir - "In a good way, though. Maybe it's because you're here too… only the Great Elf knows, I s'pose."
"Mmmm," Rocky said, reaching into her pocket to verify that the special gift was still there - it was.
"Oh, every time I've talked to Mammi over the snow cone, she's mentioned how much she was looking forward to meeting you for real, dearest Rocky." - STIR, stir, stir - "She's spoken so highly of your accomplishments, too. Of our missions… it warms my little, Elfin heart that you two get along so well." - Stir, STIR, stir - "Oh, I daren't even think of…" - stir, stir, STIR - "how the Yuletide bash would have been if you hadn't." - STIR, stir, stir - "Rocky… the pudding is almost done…" - stir, STIR, stir - "so now's a good time to fetch the sweet white ale" - STIR, stir, stir - "then you can" - stir, STIR, STIR - "prepare the butter while I" - STIR, STIR, STIR - "stir like a crazed mountain hare to keep up with" - STIR, STIR, STIR - "that cotton-candy tickle-monster down there!" - STIR! STIR! STIR!
"Rocky?" Lotta said when she didn't get a reply. Shooting a glance at the doorway where her dearest friend had been until recently, she only saw empty space. "Oh… she's left already," she said and let out a snicker.
Moments later, Rocky deposited a drain faucet and three kegs of sweet white ale in the hallway before she hurried back into the kitchen to help her sweetheart wrestle the off-white tickle-monster that lived down in the pot of blubbering rice pudding. "Prepare the butter?" she said as she put a churn of lukewarm butter on the kitchen table. She didn't wait for an answer before she reached into a cupboard to find a stack of buttering boards and a butter-knife.
"Yes, please, dearest Roc- oh… Sugar! Plum! Mush!" Lotta suddenly croaked, stopping the stirring from one twist to the next. The rice pudding had already begun overheating before she resumed the circular motion, and indeed stepped up her pace to compensate. "I… forgot to…" - STIR! STIR! - "forgot to mix" - STIR! STIR! - "the cinnamon… and… the sugar…" - STIR! STIR! - "Ohhhhhh, we're supposed to have a" - STIR! STIR! - "special blend, but I forgot to" - STIR! STIR! - "blend the cotton-candy cinna- cinna-" - STIR! STIR! - "Rocky, do you know how to do that? And in a hurry 'cos the pudding" - STIR! STIR! STIR! - "is gonna burn if we wait much longer!"
"I'm on it, sweet Lotta. Have no fear," Rocky said, already reaching into another cupboard to get a tablespoon, a jar of white sugar, another jar of ground cinnamon and finally an empty shaker. With an expert's touch, she poured several spoonfuls of sugar into the empty shaker before she added an equal amount of ground cinnamon. The lid was screwed on the shaker in a hurry before she shook it like they had been hit by an Elfin earthquake of apocalyptic magnitude.
Once the special blend was done - while Lotta kept stirring the rice pudding like a crazed mountain hare just like she had said she would - Rocky scooped out six fair-sized globs of butter from the churn and put them onto the buttering boards. She had put the spoons for the rice pudding on the dinner table herself, so there was no need to interrupt Lotta's manic stirring with such a trivial question.
The six buttering boards, the shaker with the blend of white sugar and cinnamon, the drain faucet and the three kegs of sweet white ale were all ready to be put to good use in the living room, and the tickle-monster in the rice pudding was finally defeated when Lotta took the large pot off the fire and put it on a dishcloth on the kitchen table for the last few stirs.
A huge earthenware bowl was waiting to welcome the rice pudding, and while Rocky held up the scorching hot pot using a pair of heavy-duty kettle holders, Lotta took the stirring ladle and poured every last bit of the pudding into the bowl. The chef-Elf drew her lips back in an anxious grimace at what she might find at the bottom of the pot, but she needn't have worried - the rice pudding hadn't been burnt.
The delightful smell that rose from the steaming hot pudding was enough to make not one, but two Elfin tummies let out desperate growls, and that was enough to make both Elves snicker out loud.
While Rocky put the scorching hot pot in the sink to let it cool off, Lotta finished preparing the dish by grabbing the shaker and sprinkling the rice pudding with a good layer of the white-brown spice. Putting that away, she took the largest of the six globs of butter and smacked it down on top of the center peak like all Elfin and Yuletide traditions dictated she should. Taking a step back, she observed her masterpiece. "We made it… we actually made it, dearest Rocky… it's time for the Yuletide dinner. But first…"
"First?" Rocky said, already on her way out to fetch the three kegs of ale.
"First we kiss. Just a little one… an itty-bitty one… pleeeeeeeeeeease?" Lotta said, closing her eyes and leaning her head back so her dearest friend would have plenty of space to deliver such a smooch.
The kiss that followed the request was just right - not too little, and not too much. Not too prudish, and not too steamy for the conditions. The hand that suddenly caressed an Elfin tush, however, was unexpected, and it made Rocky snicker out loud at the cheeky contact. "Mmmm?" she said, raising an eyebrow before Lotta removed her hand.
As they separated, Lotta let out a goofy snicker. "Thank you… I needed that… oh…?" - Once again, Lotta had caught a strange look upon her dearest Rocky's face. She furrowed her brow. There was definitely something odd flying around the air, but she couldn't put an Elfin-sized finger on what it could be. She decided to let it slide for now; instead, she grabbed the bowl of steaming hot rice pudding with both hands so they wouldn't have any accidents on their short journey into the living room. "Now we can eat! Lead on, dearest Rocky…"
*
*
CHAPTER 3
A collective cheer rose from the three Elves seated at the dinner table when Lotta carried in the impressive bowl of rice pudding. The scent of the cinnamon made everyone's tummy growl from impatience, and it didn't take Ingeborg, Thorbjorn and Trickamore Elf more than oh-point-two of an Elfin second to remove the embroidered napkins and the Yuletide-card from their bowls so they would be ready for the steaming hot pudding.
The buttering boards holding the globs of butter were quickly distributed among the Elves by Rocky who made sure they were placed to the right of the bowl for everyone as tradition dictated - everyone save for Trickamore, since Lotta's opposite-neighbor was left-handed.
Lotta grinned when she put the large earthenware bowl down at the center of the table, and the grin only grew broader when Rocky pulled out her chair and helped her sit down. To prove it, she sent her dearest friend a kissy that was responded to by a wink.
Before sitting down, Rocky fetched and prepared the first of the three kegs of sweet white ale by releasing the wooden valve and inserting the drain faucet. A few droplets were sprayed onto her hand, but she licked them off in a hurry. When it was all set, she put it on the table near Thorbjorn Elf who sent her a wide grin in gratitude. "The ale is ready whenever we are!" she said and pulled out her own chair to begin the proceedings.
"I must say," Ingeborg Elf said, leaning forward to sniff the rice pudding, "it smells so, so, SO wonderful, Epilotta. I can hardly wait. Thorbjorn!"
Although his empty ale mug had nearly made it to the drain faucet, Lotta's father moved it back and returned it to the spot next to the empty bowl where he had taken it. "Ah… yes, dear?" he said, smiling like nothing at all had happened.
Rather than speaking, Ingeborg Elf just sent her husband a pointed glare before she turned her attention back to her daughter and the large bowl of rice pudding. "Epilotta, I do believe the time has come to give our Thanks to the Great Elf."
"It has, Mammi," Lotta said and sat up straight. Although it wasn't the first time she had led the short declaration of Thanks, it seemed to be more important to her this Season to be Jolly - and a short gaze into Rocky's Elfin-blue eyes confirmed what she felt.
Clearing her throat, Lotta reached for the hands of the Elves sitting closest to her, namely her father and Rocky. In turn, they connected with Trickamore Elf and Ingeborg Elf, respectively. With the Elfin Circle firmly established, Lotta closed her eyes to recite the words she knew so well: "Oh, Great Elf! We, your faithful followers, thank you for bringing us together for another Yuletide feast, and for giving us the Elfin strength needed to provide for our friends and family. May it always be so."
The Elfin Circle ended with every Elf squeezing the hands of the Elves they were connected to, thus reminding everyone that the Elfin nation could only remain strong, or even exist, if they banded together and braved the outside world as one Elf.
Lotta opened her eyes and looked at her relatives and dear friends who were sitting at her table. This Season to be Jolly, she had plenty to be grateful for, and she sent the Great Elf a few more personal Thanks just to let Her know that she appreciated all that had happened between her and the tough, long-haul sleigh-driver sitting to her right. "And now…" she said, picking up her spoon.
Everybody mirrored Lotta's actions, but didn't go on as Yuletide traditions dictated that the lady-Elf of the house had to get the ball rolling. Once she had scooped up a portion of rice pudding, everybody else could get theirs too.
Lotta broke out in a snicker when she looked at the expectant faces around the table. Moving so slowly that her hungry tummy was sounding like it was planning a revolt, she dug the spoon into the hot rice pudding and scooped up a large glob. The return trip to her own bowl was even slower, but the spoon carrying the pudding finally made it there. The split second the off-white rice dish hit the bottom of her bowl, she opened her mouth intending to say "Eat, drink and be merry, my Elfin friends!" as traditions dictated, but she never made it further than "Eat, dr-" before the remaining Elves had dug their spoons into the large bowl.
In oh-point-nothing at all, four portions were transferred to the four bowls, extra cinnamon had been sprinkled onto the pudding, and the buttering boards had been scraped clean of the butter that was already melting into golden pools at the top of the peaks. The sweet white ale followed almost at once, with Thorbjorn Elf controlling the drain faucet and filling everyone's mug.
"Buh… drink and be merry, my Elfin friends!" Lotta said and snickered wildly into her hand before she dug into her own rice pudding with great gusto.
-*-*-*-
Over the course of the next several hours, an Elfin good time was had by all. The first keg of sweet white ale hadn't lasted long, and the second keg could only stretch a smidgen further. Elfin toasts went one way, then the other, then back the first way; spoons were smacked against each other in the old party game Dueling Spoons when two Elves had gone for the same glob of rice pudding - the losing Elf needed to run once around the dinner table with the spoon balancing on his or her nose - and traditional Elf drinking and Yuletide songs had been sung whenever the right mood had hit the five participants of the post-Yuletide bash.
In such Elfin good company, even the largest bowl of rice pudding would eventually run out, and the bowl that Lotta had fought so hard to make was no exception. When five idle spoons clanged into the empty earthenware bowl, the Elves leaned back and patted their full tummies.
"Dearest daughter of mine," Thorbjorn Elf said, fidgeting with the button that held his knickerbockers a little too tight against his distended belly, "that was the bestest, yummiest rice pudding you have ever made for us. And I'm an expert-Elf at such matters!" he continued, raising his mug of sweet white ale to salute the petite Elf at the head of the table.
"Hear, hear," Ingeborg Elf said, tapping her knuckles against the tabletop. "The cinnamon blend was just right, too. Quite exquisite and oh-so tasty."
Grinning, Lotta leaned forward the farthest her full tummy would allow her to go - she couldn't quite make it all the way to the dinner table. "Thank you, Mammi and Pappi. I thought it was quite good, myself… oh, and the cinnamon blend was made by my dearest, dearest friend Rockabye here. Rocky, I owe you an Elfin kiss or two… as soon as I've regained the ability to move beyond crinkling my nose!"
Rocky chuckled and reached over to pat Lotta's hand before turning to Ingeborg Elf. "Thank you, Ingeborg. It was my pleasure to help my sweet Lotta in her kitchen."
"I thought the rice pudding tasted really yummy too!" Trickamore said from her spot on Thorbjorn's left. Waving at Lotta, she tried to eke herself back to the table, but it was hard going.
"Thanks, Trixie!" Lotta said, waving back. After a few moments of simple tasks like breathing to preserve her energy, she had found enough strength to attempt more complex operations, like collecting the used bowls and spoons. "Of course, there's still dessert…" she said with a smile.
"Ooooh!" Thorbjorn Elf said, sitting up straight despite his full tummy. "Would it be well-buttered kringle-bread with caraway seeds and strawberry jam? Or perhaps a runny Welch bread?"
"This year, it's none of the above, Pappi," Lotta said, sporting another smile. She was suddenly worried about how her mother would accept the cold rice pudding, but she took a deep breath and carried on. "No, it's something new that we haven't tried before… it's Mrs. Santa's award-winning recipe, her famed cold rice pudding with lukewarm whole-berry cherry sauce and chipped almonds. And a glass of chilled port."
"Ooooh! I love, love, love that!" Trickamore said and clapped her hands in glee.
When Ingeborg Elf didn't answer at first, Lotta cast a worried glance in the older lady-Elf's direction; the expression on her Mammi's face said that she was excited about trying something new, but concerned how it would fit within the age-old traditions that were such a big deal in their household. "Anyway, I'm sure you'll enjoy it," Lotta said as she finished stacking the used bowls in a pile. "It's really, really yummy… don't you think so, dearest Rocky?"
"I d- uh… yes," Rocky said, smiling at her sweetheart - and mentally slapping herself silly from nearly falling into the same trap again.
---
It wasn't long before the living room echoed with sounds like "Ooooooh!" "Oh, this is yumm-mm-my!" "This is wonderful, wonn-derful!" and "Pleeeeeeeease tell me there's more where this came from!"
The latter comment had come from Thorbjorn Elf, but Lotta had to disappoint her father. "I'm sorry, Pappi… I only made one bowl. It wasn't the main dish, after all. It was the dessert, so it should only be a taster. But I'm glad to hear you liked it. Mammi?" - Lotta looked down at her own bowl while she waited for her mother to answer.
All Lotta's fears were swept away by an Elfin-good summer breeze when Ingeborg Elf did all but lick the bowl and the spoon clean. She had a droplet of whole-berry cherry sauce on her chin, but it was nothing a dab from a napkin couldn't handle. "My dear, dear Epilotta, this was delicious! Sweet, crunchy and even a little tart. And extraordinarily yummy! Oh, I enjoyed this dessert very much, I must say," Ingeborg said, putting her napkin in her lap.
"I'm so, so glad to hear you say that, Mammi… I would have been a sad, sad little Elf if you hadn't enjoyed it," Lotta said, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. When she looked around the table and only saw happy Elfin faces, her spirits rose from the temporary low they had been at, but a wave of fatigue began to nibble at her Elfin soul from all the hard work she had been doing over the course of the day. With the best parts of the Night of Nights - or the day after - still to come, she couldn't flake out just yet, so she sat up straight and poured herself a little more sweet white ale to pick up her strength.
Down at the far end of the dinner table, the fifth Elf at the post-Yuletide bash had been conspicuously silent for a while, but Trickamore soon broke her silence when she produced the whole almond that Lotta had stuck into one of the pre-made bowls. "Look what I got," she said, beaming.
"Ooooh!" Lotta cried, clapping her hands. "Trixie got the almond! Congratulations, Trixie… you win the special gift!"
Ingeborg and Thorbjorn Elf looked at each other sporting identical puzzled looks, but Rocky leaned in to explain what went on while Lotta flew over to the sideboard to find the special gift she had made for the winner.
Lotta was soon back at the dining table and reached around her opposite-neighbor to give her a little hug from behind. When they separated, she put a wrapped gift in front of the young lady-Elf. "Here you go, Trixie… unlike the regular Yuletide presents, this one should be opened here at the dinner table!"
Snickering in giddy expectation, Trickamore stuck her pink, little Elfin tongue into the corner of her mouth as she worked on untying the red ribbon and then unwrapping the gift itself. When a Yuletide-red ball of yarn rolled out of the small package, she squealed and reached behind her to squeeze Lotta's hands. "Oh, thank you very much, Lotta! This is so neat!"
"You're welcome, Trixie," Lotta said and squeezed the lady-Elf's shoulder. Walking back to the head of the table, she let her eyes roam over the countless used bowls, mugs, glasses and spoons. The second part of the Yuletide-bash was almost over, but there was still one, little item left on the agenda. Taking her small glass of port, she raised it in the air which made her family and friends pipe down. She needed a moment to recall the proper sequence of the age-old, traditional speech, but once she had the start, it just rolled off her tongue:
"Everybody! Mammi, Pappi, Rocky, Trixie… as we move into the third and final part of Yuletide Eve… or the day after, but never mind that now… I thank you from the bottom of my Elfin heart for being such wonderful guests. Soon, we will be singing, dancing around the Yuletree and exchanging gifts, but first, let's relocate to the table by the fireplace and the Yuletree so we can continue the evening in the bosom of our family. Cheers!"
After the guests had taken a good, final swig of their port, they put down their empty glasses and pushed the chairs back. Thorbjorn Elf was perhaps a bit unsteady on his feet after the numerous glasses of egg nog and port he had consumed, but his spirits were high, and he only needed to grab hold of the chair's backrest once to find his balance.
When Rocky stood up, she leaned in at once to give Lotta a kiss on the forehead. "Go over and chat with your parents and Trickamore, sweet Lotta. I'll do the dishes in the meantime."
"Oh, but we can-"
"No, we can't. This is your night," Rocky said and offered her sweetheart a wink and another little kiss before she picked up the many empty bowls and headed for the kitchen.
-*-*-*-
Hardly any Elves in Elf Springs or elsewhere were overly enthusiastic about doing the dishes, but if pressed, Rocky would admit that she quite enjoyed it. Not only did it give her - and her pointy ears - a rest from the raucous hullabaloo in the living room, it thrilled her to see a large pile of work dwindle down into nothing as she worked her way through the many used bowls, spoons, mugs and glasses.
As always, she had an exact plan for what she needed to do, and how she needed to do it: first up, she would choose which particular type of the used dishes to go for. Then, she would dunk-and-brush each bowl, or spoon, or mug, or glass, in a wash bowl filled with suds and steaming hot water, and finally she would stack them in an orderly pile to drip-dry on a dishcloth. Once she had dunked-and-brushed the last item of any particular type, she would take one of the tea towels and begin wiping them all down before putting them into the appropriate cupboards so they wouldn't be in the way on the kitchen table when she moved onto the next type. Though it wasn't as complicated as it sounded, she relished the challenge.
After dunking-and-brushing all the ale mugs, she picked up a tea towel and the first mug so it could be wiped dry. Humming an old Yuletide favorite to herself, she shuffled over to the kitchen window as she ran the towel over the mug. The Elfin world outside had gone dark again, but she glanced out from time to time to take in the magnificent sight of the tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of multi-colored Yulelights that had been lit at sunset all over the neighborhood where Lotta lived.
In the distance, the Yuletide bells were ringing for the penultimate time that Season to be Jolly. The crisp tones that echoed all over Elf Springs acted as a reminder to all the Elves that they should be grateful for the good fortune they'd had, and to remember those who hadn't had an Elfin good year.
Rocky chuckled to herself as she eyed her royal-blue jacket that she had put over the backrest of one of the kitchen chairs while she did the dishes. The post-Yuletide bash had already been a smashing success on every level, but the special gift she had in her pocket would no doubt turn up the intensity a few notches. How everyone would react would be the Great Elf's guess.
A reflection of a lady-Elf in the kitchen window made her turn around. Thinking it was Lotta, she had already opened her mouth to tease her sweetheart about being unable to stay away when she realized it was Trickamore Elf instead.
"Miss Rocky, may I come out and help you?" the young lady-Elf said, peeking around the jamb of the kitchen door. "I'm so stuffed I can hardly sit down…"
"Sure, Trixie," Rocky said, putting down the tea towel she had been using. "Uh… if you want, you could wipe off those mugs. Yeah?"
Trickamore nodded as she took the damp tea towel and the next ale mug. She began wiping it off in silence, but the look in her Elfin eyes proved she had something important to say, or perhaps ask Rocky about. She opened her mouth a couple of times before she had gathered up enough courage to ask the question that had apparently been burning on her mind. "Uh, Miss Rocky… how… how… is it any… oh, does it… ugh. Never mind," she said, shaking her head when she discovered that while she had enough courage to ask, she didn't have all her thoughts lined up in order.
"To be honest, I didn't get any of that, Trixie," Rocky said with a smile as she moved back to the sink to start the wrestling match with the worst of the filthy dishes - the dirty rice pudding bowls. Rice pudding was a tickle-monster to make, but dried, crusty rice pudding was an even worse tickle-monster to get rid of afterwards. She took one bowl at a time to be able to give it an Elfin good dunk-and-brush. "Mmmm?" she said when Trickamore fell quiet once again.
To stall, Trickamore continued to rub one of the ale mugs, and waited several Elfin-seconds before she put it into the cupboard and picked up the next one. "Oh, well, I… it's just that… ugh. Oh, the Great Elf… seeing you and Lotta, it's so, so obvious it's the real, Elfin thing. But… I was wondering how an Elf will know if a romantic liaison is the real thing, or just a two-week fling? I mean, the Elfin heart might tell you it's the real thing, right? But then you discover that it wasn't after all."
"Well," Rocky said, scratching her neck with a wet finger. She took her time to dunk-and-brush the next dirty bowl while she tried to rack her brain to come up with an answer for the young lady-Elf. When the delay started to get awkward, she decided to give herself a kick up the tush and get on with it. Turning her head, she offered Lotta's opposite-neighbor a smile. "Well, I'm not really used to sensitive chats, but… uh… all right. Is this about the date who stood you up?"
"No, not really," Trickamore said and put down the dry ale mug she had been wiping off. Letting out a small sigh, she leaned against the kitchen table to gather her thoughts. "Or maybe it is, I don't know. It's more of a general question…"
Rocky chewed on that for a little while before she put the final bowl into the hot water and gave it a thorough dunk-and-brush. "You know, Trixie… love among Elves is a magical thing. It'll burn you up when it's hot… and it might burn you down when it's not. The thing is, we can't tell which of the two it'll end up being. Perhaps that's part of the thrill, I don't know… I do know that when it presents itself to you, you should always go for it with all your Elfin heart. A love that ends is a bad, bad tickle-monster, I know that all too cotton-candy well, but an Elfin life that has no love at all…? Well, that's an Elfin life not worth living. In the unabashed opinion of this unabashedly opinionated Elf, of course."
Nodding thoughtfully, Trickamore took the tea towel and began wiping off the final ale mugs before she would move onto the pudding bowls. "I s'pose we Elves were never promised it would be easy, right?"
"No," Rocky said and let out a chuckle. Wiping the soap suds off her hands, she took the last remaining dry tea towel and went to work on the clean pudding bowls to give Trickamore a hand. "But I will say one thing… when the sparks really, really fly between you and another Elf, you'll know in your Elfin heart that it has a deeper meaning than just a little adventure."
"Is that what happened between you and Lotta?"
"Yes. The sparks were always there between us. Maybe because we're so Elfin different, I don't know, but… anyway, one morning, I woke up and realized I couldn't live without that special, little lady-Elf. It was that simple," Rocky said with a wistful smile. Once again, she let her eyes glide over to the royal-blue jacket and the special gift hidden in the pocket.
Trickamore let out an "Awwwwwww!" but that was all they had time for - a moment later, Lotta appeared in the doorway. The petite Elf was flushed, beaming and jumping up and down in giddiness.
"Dearest Rocky! Are you almost done? You know what's coming now, don't you?" Lotta said and briefly let out a squeal. "Ohhhhh, it's my favo- no, one of my favorite parts of Yuletide Eve! Or the day after… oh, never mind that now. We're gonna dance around the Yuletree! And Pappi is gonna play his accordion! Ohhhhh, I can't wait… I love, love, love, love, love dancing around the Yuletree!"
As Lotta zipped back into the living room, Rocky leaned in to bump shoulders with the young Trickamore. "See what I mean?" she said as she wiggled her eyebrows.
"I think I do!" Trickamore said, snickering into her hand.
-*-*-*-
In the living room, all the Elves banded together to move aside the dinner table and chairs, the low table and finally the armchair to make plenty of room for the chain dancing that was about to take place. Dancing around the Yuletree was one of the unbreakable traditions of the Elfin world, and it simply hadn't been Yuletide Eve if the Elves hadn't danced with Elfin abandon.
The Yuletree with all its magnificent decorations stood proud near the center of the living room, and the figurines of the Great Elf atop the tree, and the Bringer-Elf of Good Fortune and Elfin Happiness on one of the branches, moved slowly side to side by the hot air that blasted out of the open fireplace.
As the clock was ticking down to the great, Elfin dance, Lotta was giddy with excitement, and her mother Ingeborg Elf wasn't far behind. Trickamore snatched a couple of the fresh cookies that had been put on a tray, and Rocky put her royal-blue jacket over one of the dinner chairs after making sure that the special gift would be safe down in the pocket.
Already humming a merry Yuletide favorite, Thorbjorn Elf pulled the straps for his accordion over his shoulders and shuffled the cumbersome musical instrument around so it was comfortable across his tummy. To get reacquainted with the keys, he played a quick scale that made the lady-Elves present break out into cheers.
Trickamore had already begun shuffling around like she couldn't wait to get started with the chain dance. Shuffling left, then right, then left again, she wound up in front of Thorbjorn Elf who was in the process of sitting down on one of the dinner chairs. "Oh…" the young lady-Elf said, coming to a halt. "Aren't you going to dance with us, Thorbjorn?"
"No, I'm afraid not," Thorbjorn Elf said and reached down to pat his legs. "My knees are shot. I wouldn't make it halfway through the first dance."
"Oh, that's too bad… have you played long?"
"Since I was a wee, little Elf!" Thorbjorn said and played a long riff from one of the all-time legendary Elf party songs, Hen te kommoden å tebaws igjen . As he played, he sang along at the top of his lungs to get into the proper Elfin mood.
Rocky, Ingeborg and Trickamore Elf all clapped and cheered at the virtuoso display, but Lotta couldn't wait any longer and grabbed Rocky's hand so her dearest friend was second in the chain. Rocky quickly connected to Trickamore who in turn took Ingeborg's hand. "Pappi!" Lotta cried, so eager to get started she was nearly jumping up and down. "Hit the keys!"
"Which song, Epilotta dear?"
"A good one!"
"All-righty, then," Thorbjorn Elf said and gave himself a count-off so he could hit the proper tempo. Soon, his experienced fingers flew across the keyboard to play one of the songs that would be a sure-fire hit at any Elfin Yuletide gathering: the fast-paced Nu er det Jul igen - Yuletide Is Here Again - that would be perfect for the opening dance. "Yeeeeeeeeee-haw!" he cried as his daughter set off dancing around the Yuletree like a crazed mountain hare.
Laughing out loud, Lotta didn't spare herself or her fellow dancers. The four lady-Elves hopped, skipped, jumped and danced around the tree to their Elfin hearts' delight. As Thorbjorn Elf played all the uptempo Yuletide songs he knew, and even a few he improvised on the spot, the dances around the Yuletree grew more spirited - or even wilder. Sometimes the Elfin dancers went one way; sometimes they turned around right in the middle of the dance and went the other way; sometimes they danced in a figure-eight around the tree and Thorbjorn Elf, and sometimes, they left the living room altogether to go into the hallway, the kitchen and halfway up the staircase before returning to the Yuletree for another spin.
"Put your left foot up! And hop! Hop! Hop!" Lotta cried, jumping forward on only her right clog. When her fellow dancers had followed suit, she put her left clog down and her right clog up. "Put your right foot up! And hop! Hop! Hop!"
As Thorbjorn Elf watched his darling Ingeborg - who was usually the very definition of 'serious' - follow the younger lady-Elves into performing the crazy dance, he let out a severe belly laugh that not only interrupted his playing, but nearly caused him to slip off the dinner chair he sat on. "Ooooh, sugar plum mush!" he croaked before he could get both cheeks back on the seat. Once he was secure, he resumed playing the accordion like nothing had happened at all - and the dancers hadn't even noticed.
"Mooooooooooooore!" Lotta cried, jumping so high in the air she was briefly at eye-level with Rocky. Upon landing, she took off like a crazed mountain hare all over again and dragged her friends and family with her on another wild circuit of her Pine Cone Villa.
-*-*-*-
Even Epilotta Elf had a limit to how much Elfin chain-dancing she could handle, but when she collapsed nose-first onto the couch at the low table, her mother and Rocky had already been there for a while. Trickamore had tried to keep up with the petite bundle of Elfin energy for as long as she could, but even the youngest of the Elves present had needed to call it quits ahead of time.
Quite literally bouncing back, Lotta used the springs in the couch to jump into an upright position close to her dearest friend. "Ohhhhhhh, that was so, so, SO much fun… thank you from the bottom of my Elfin heart, everybody," she said with a beaming grin firmly etched onto her lips. Her Elfin face was flushed and glistening, and her flaming red locks stuck to her forehead in all sorts of odd patterns. "Thank you for playing so well, Pappi… and thank you for dancing along, Mammi. And you too, Trickamore! And you, Rockabye Elf… thank you for being you," she continued, snuggling up tight.
Three of the four exhausted Elves just waved at the energetic centerpoint of the post-Yuletide bash, but the fourth - Rocky, who had already caught her breath - grabbed hold of her sweetheart and gave her a good, strong tickling that left Lotta wheezing and spluttering.
As a certain calm finally fell over the Elves, Thorbjorn Elf took the opportunity to crack open the final keg of the sweet white ale before they would move on in the program. After releasing the valve and inserting the drain faucet, he started looking around for the ale mugs, but they had all been brought out to the kitchen. "Oh… uh… Epilotta, dear, would it be possible to get some mugs?" he said, looking high and low for the missing items.
"I'll get 'em, Thorbjorn," Rocky said and made a quick exit for the kitchen. It wasn't long before she came back carrying five mugs that she distributed on the low table where the Elves sat.
"Ah! Neat!" Thorbjorn Elf said and twisted the drain faucet to fill the first mug. "Sweet white for everybody, right?"
When a chorus of "Yes, please," "I'm as dry as a gnarled, old Elf" "Uh-huh!" and "I could use something to drink, actually," reached his pointy ears, he quickly filled all five mugs and pushed them over to his fellow Elves. Taking his own mug, he raised it high in the air and saluted everybody. "Cheers! And merry Yuletide!"
"Merry Yuletide!" Rocky, Ingeborg and Trickamore all said - Lotta was too busy gulping down the sweet white ale to have time for something as trivial as speaking.
---
"Well, Epilotta," Ingeborg Elf said, looking at the tired, but excited, faces of her daughter and the other Elves, "we've all caught our breaths now, so… isn't it time to light the candles?"
Lotta looked back at her mother with a proud, emotional look on her Elfin face. Nodding, she patted Rocky's leg so she could have room to get up. "I think it is, Mammi. Rocky?"
"Right behind you, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and scooted out of the way so Lotta could get up from the couch. While Lotta found the matchbox, Rocky once more exited to the kitchen to fill a bucket with water just in case. Though every Elf had centuries' worth of experience with open fire, the risk that a fiery tickle-monster would make itself an uninvited guest was too great to ignore. It happened every single Yuletide, and even during the entire Season to be Jolly, that some Elves in Elf Springs or elsewhere were careless when it came to igniting the candles on the Yuletree - it was simply better to be safe than sorry.
Returning from the kitchen, Rocky put the bucket of water and a soaked dishcloth in the corner so she could reach them in case they were needed. Working together with Lotta, she moved a screen in front of the fireplace so the strong light from the bright-orange flames was filtered. That alone removed a great deal of the light from the living room, and the cozy darkness only grew stronger when Rocky snuffed out the three-branched candlestick that stood on the windowsill down the other end of the room.
Lotta had waited for her dearest friend to finish her task before she waved her over and gave her the matchbox. "Rocky, I'm bestowing you the honor of lighting the upper candles… I can't reach the cotton-candy things!" Lotta said with a snicker.
"It would be my pleasure, sweet Lotta," Rocky said and struck the first match. Reaching up, she held the match to the first of the sixteen candles and waited for the wick to catch. She used the last of the match to ignite the second candle before she reached for the next one in the box.
---
As all sixteen candles burned brightly, the living room was filled with a strong, golden light that made every Elf there feel the undeniable presence of the Great Elf. Everyone fell quiet. The small, flickering flames on the many candles spoke louder than any word could, so there was no reason to break the moment.
Thorbjorn and Ingeborg Elf snuggled up tight on the couch as they observed the lit Yuletree in a contented silence. Lotta and Rocky invited Trickamore into their mini-circle for a hug, but the young lady-Elf made sure to make it a brief one so she wouldn't get in the way of the strong Elfin loving that flowed freely between the long-haul sleigh-driver and the gift-dropper.
After the hug, Rocky and Lotta moved out to stand side by side so they could both gaze at the serenely burning candles. The need to kiss their loved one grew too strong, and even holding hands didn't release the urge that had built up inside them. They looked deeply into each other's Elfin eyes for a long, long moment before they closed the last distance between them and established the sweet contact they were longing for.
The slow, warm kiss went on for a while longer than either of them had anticipated, but since being apart would simply be far too great a sacrifice on Yuletide Eve, or even the day after, they kept up the intimate connection.
"Oh, you two kissin' Elves!" Thorbjorn Elf said and let out a rumbling laugh. "You're burning up so much air there ain't nothing left for the rest of us!"
A furious blush exploded onto Lotta's cheeks, and she buried her face in the crook of Rocky's neck. Shaking her head left and right which made her flaming red locks and the golden bobble at the end of the floppy cone swish back and forth, she let out an unbridled, but highly embarrassed, laugh that soon claimed Rocky as well.
To break the embarrassment that suddenly flew around the Pine Cone Villa, Ingeborg Elf cleared her throat to get everyone's attention back on the important matter, namely the Yuletree. When Rocky and Lotta had calmed down, Ingeborg drew a deep breath and began singing Silent Night, Elfin Night in a crystal clear voice that hit all the proper notes.
The other Elves soon joined Lotta's mother in singing the sentimental Yuletide favorite; not all were hitting the right notes, but it didn't matter. As the song ended, Lotta sniffled several times before she blew her nose into her handkerchief with a trumpet-like burst. "Ohhhhhh, by the Great Elf… that was the most beautiful version I've ever heard, Mammi! Ohhhh, thank you for blessing my home with your singing…"
"Oh, you're very welcome, Epilotta dear," Ingeborg Elf said and snatched one of her daughter's cookies from the tray. After munching on it, she looked around at her fellow Elves. "Let's sing some more. Any requests?"
Rocky put her right hand in the air while her left mussed her sweetheart's neck. "Ingeborg, I'm quite sure that Lotta would love, love, love to sing the Hustle And Bustle song. All nineteen verses of it… am I right?"
"You are so right, dearest Rocky!" Lotta said, clapping her hands.
Thorbjorn Elf let out a grunt and reached for his mug of sweet white ale at once. "All nineteen verses?" he mumbled into his short beard, but he stopped grumbling when he caught a glimpse of not only the happy-happy look on his daughter's face, but the raised eyebrow on his wife's forehead. "All nineteen verses… I'm almost ready," he added, taking a good swig of his ale.
"We have a deal, Epilotta," Ingeborg Elf said, turning back to gaze at the Yuletree. "Lead on!"
While Trickamore squealed and clapped her hands in excitement, Lotta cleared her throat and did a little shimmy to find the proper singing-Elf inside her. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she sang, hooking her arm inside Rocky's so she could get a good vibe going. "The hustle and bustle of Yuletide Eeeeeve, the air is nippy and we need long sleeeeeves! The lights go on at four o'clock sharp, the evening comes with song and harp! C'mon, everybody! Only eighteen more verses to go! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"
*
*
CHAPTER 4
As was the case with all Elves, Rockabye, Trickamore, Thorbjorn, Ingeborg and especially Epilotta Elf really came alive when they were eating, dancing or singing. In this instance, the matter that stirred their Elfin blood was singing, and the Great Elfin Songbook was sung nearly cover to cover. The five Elves at the post-Yuletide bash even found time to sing a few from the re-issued version though Lotta wasn't too hot on those.
Thus, they had gone through the full, unabridged versions of The Hustle And Bustle Song, The Twelve Days Of Yuletide and Hark! The Herald Elves Sing. They had agreed on shortening The First Yuletide and Up On The Rooftop With Ol' Santa Claus since they could go on for just about forever if allowed, and to compensate, the shortish favorites Yule Yule Yule, Oh The Joys Of Yule and Jingle Bells had been sung and played more than once.
As always, they finished with An Elfin Good Time, and Lotta was flying so high seven wild reindeer couldn't tie her down: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh, it's so good to be an Elf!" they sang though their throats had turned as dry as parchment from all the singing. One by one, four of the five Elves waved a white napkin to show they'd had enough - predictably, the one who didn't was Lotta.
"Elves, always so kind and warm and free! Elves, the best friends you could ever hope to have!" Lotta continued on her own, throwing her arms in the air to prepare for the chorus. "Ohhhhhhh, we're Elves, Elves, Elves. We always have an Elfin good time! Elves, Elves, Elves. And we're simply so cute and fiiiiine!"
While Thorbjorn Elf played the last few notes on his accordion, Lotta fell back against the backrest of the couch she shared with her mother. The excitable Lotta let out a deep sigh to show that she was done, too. "Oh, that's such a wonderful, wonderful… wonn-derful song. Oh, I just love, love, love all those wonn-derful Yuletide songs… I could go on singing from now 'til dawn if you would let me!"
When a chorus of "Uhhhhh?! Great Elf, I need a break-" "Epilotta, we-" "I think you should give our pointy ears a rest, dear," and "Sweet Lotta…" came back at her, she snickered into her hand and stuck out her tongue at her friends and family.
Thorbjorn Elf was the Elf who had asked for a rest for his pointy ears, and since his request had been heard, he leaned forward to put his heavy accordion down on the carpet. Stretching his Elfin body this way and that, he pointed at the Yuletree where the candles were still burning. "First of all, I think we should snuff out the lights now… and then… I think it's time for the presents."
"Oh, yes! I'll do that right away, Pappi," Lotta breathed, jumping to her feet at once. Rocky, who sat on a dinner chair that she had moved over to the low table because the soft armchair had given her a backache, followed at a slightly more sedate pace, but they had soon snuffed out the sixteen candles and pulled the screen clear of the fireplace so the light level could go up to what it had been before.
Lotta found it difficult to remain in one place for any length of time - which in this case meant more than one Elfin-second - as she took in the sight of the many presents under the Yuletree in wide-eyed wonder. "Oh, I know I shouldn't get this wound up," she said to no one in particular, "but by the Great Elf… if we Elves can't get excited about Yuletide presents, we might as well don gray burlap sacks and wander the streets of the Human world trying to hawk lumps of coal. Don't you think so, dearest Rocky? Rocky?"
When Rocky didn't answer at first, Lotta turned around to see what her dearest friend could be doing that kept her so occupied. Rocky wasn't busy at all, but her Elfin-blue eyes were firmly fixed on her royal-blue jacket that was hanging over the backrest of a dinner chair. Lotta furrowed her brow - it was just one more instance of the many oddities that had popped up now and then at the post-Yuletide bash. "Uh… Rocky?"
Finally hearing her name, Rocky quickly shuffled around on the dinner chair and offered Lotta a wide smile. "Uh… yes, sweet Lotta?"
"Don't you think so?"
"I certainly do!"
Lotta snickered into her hand when it became painfully clear that Rocky had no idea what was going on around her. Instead of exploiting it - that would have been most uncool, and definitely the un-Elfin thing to do - she pointed a petite index finger at the presents underneath the Yuletree. "Should we start?"
"Oh! Oh, yes… Ingeborg," Rocky said and turned toward Lotta's mother, "do you do a round-robin like so many Elfin families do?"
"Yes we do, Rocky," Ingeborg Elf said with a nod. "we always get our presents one at a time around the table so we each get a moment to savor it. Of course, we've modified it a bit since Epilotta is so agile and we're not, but the concept remains the same."
"Uh… beg' pardon," Trickamore Elf said and put a finger in the air. When they all looked at her, she smiled nervously. "I'm not familiar with a round-robin style. Uh… how does it work?"
"Well, Trickamore," Ingeborg Elf said, leaning forward on the couch. "First up, because of the way we sit, Epilotta will find a present for me… if there is any!"
"Ohhhhhhhh, but of course there is, Mammi!" Lotta squealed.
Ingeborg smiled at her daughter before she turned back to Trickamore. "Good! So, when I've unwrapped it and have had a little time to savor it, Epilotta will find one for her Pappi, then you, then Rocky and finally herself. And then we-"
"Start over, and that's the round-robin!" Trickamore said, nodding. "Ah, I understand it now. Thank you!"
"You're welcome," Ingeborg said and signaled her daughter - who was on the brink of spontaneous combustion - to begin the best part of the whole thing.
At once, Lotta sat down on the floor to look at the mountain of presents under the Yuletree. She could remember exactly where she had put the presents she had bought or made for her mother, but they had been buried under a pile of boxes wrapped in colorful Yuletide-paper, so she needed to shuffle everything around until she found one of her own.
It was a smaller present, but building up to the really big gifts that would come last was part and parcel of the Elfin fun they were about to have. Verifying that the gift tag read 'From: Epilotta / To: Mammi!' Lotta jumped to her feet and zipped over to the couch.
Leaning down, she kissed her mother on the forehead before she handed her the present. "Merry Yuletide, Mammi. Love you."
"Love you too, dear Epilotta," Ingeborg Elf said and began to unwrap the red bow tie and the colorful paper. Soon, a calendar for the following Elfin year came into view, and she leafed through the pages at once to see if it met her high standards. It did, so she gave her daughter another little kiss before she put away the discarded bow tie and the wrapping paper to have more room on the table. "And now one for your Pappi."
"One for Pappi coming right up!" Lotta said and zipped back to the Yuletree.
---
After a dozen or so round-robins, the space under the Yuletree was empty and they each had an impressive amount of Yuletide gifts piled up in front of them. A serene silence had spread out among the Elves as they studied their new books, gloves, hand-crafted Yuletide decorations, scarves, balls of yarn, personalized ale mugs that had been created by a local master-glassblower-Elf, and all the other wonderful items that had been passed out between the Elves who were seated around the table.
Trickamore had the fewest presents in front of her, but that was a result of the late invitation - only Lotta had known she would be coming over so the others hadn't had the chance of making or buying anything for her. Similarly, the gifts she had brought hadn't been too spectacular in the overall scheme of things, but Yuletide gifts didn't have to be brand-spanking new or highly expensive to be given with the Elfin heart.
While Ingeborg and Thorbjorn Elf were whispering among themselves comparing some of their new gifts, Lotta was huddled up in the corner of the couch with her face scrunched up into something resembling a bullfrog that had become stuck in a particularly nasty swamp pit. Although she had received an impressive pile of gifts, none - as in not a single one - had been from Rocky.
The last doubts that something really peculiar was going on had been blown from her Elfin mind, but she couldn't figure out what in the Elfin world it could be. With all the curious secrecy displayed by not only Rocky but her father as well, however, she had an inkling there could be a big surprise waiting for her at some point in her near future. If she asked the questions that were burning at the back of her tongue, there was a great, big risk she might ruin such a surprise, and she definitely didn't want to do that - so she kept mum.
Rocky was leafing through a book she had been given by Thorbjorn Elf titled Showdown At Elfin Rock , but when she felt Lotta's eyes on her, she looked up and gazed lovingly at her sweetheart. It was clear by the puzzled look in Lotta's eyes that she was confused about the curious lack of gifts, and that she perhaps suspected something, but Rocky wasn't worried - it wouldn't be long before everything was revealed. The mere thought about she speech she had prepared made the tickle-monster in her tummy give her a little jolt or two, but she pushed it aside and returned to the pages of her book.
While all that was going on, Trickamore rose from the armchair and zipped over to Lotta. Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around her opposite-neighbor and gave her a good, strong Elfin hug. "Oh, thank you so much, Lotta! Thank you for all those wonderful gifts! How you could find so many great things at such short notice, I'll never know… but thank you!"
"Aw, you're very welcome, Trixie! And thank you very much for all your great presents, too," Lotta said as she reciprocated the hug. When Trickamore moved onto Ingeborg Elf to continue voicing her gratitude, Lotta smacked her lips a couple of times like she was trying to figure something out. "I'm wondering if it isn't time for some Yule-tea and cookies… hmmm… or hot chocolate, even hotter waffles and whipped cream? Ugh. Decisions, decisions… no, it's gonna be Yule-tea and cookies," she said and got up from her spot on the couch.
"You need a hand?" Rocky said, lowering the book. When Lotta just waved at her, she resumed reading, but not before she had taken a long, hard look at her royal-blue jacket.
-*-*-*-
As was often the case among Elves whenever refreshments were served, the chatter became more animated when Lotta carried in four full thermos' of Yule-tea - two regular and two of the new vanilla-flavored blend - and five trays presenting five different types of Yuletide cookies. All the Elves present at the post-Yuletide bash slurped the delightful Yule-tea and munched on the peppernuts, crullers, Vanilla Rings and assorted other cookies that Lotta had spent several Elfin-minutes building into neat piles on the trays.
Ingeborg and Thorbjorn Elf were still comparing their gifts, and Lotta had Trickamore's rapt attention as she retold some of the things she and Rocky had experienced on the Night of Nights as they traveled the world carrying presents for Santa. The petite Elf was going at full speed once again, showing the enraptured Trickamore how they had schmutted down a chimney at a retirement home only to discover that it had an electronic pellet fireplace at the bottom - and not only that, but that it had a self-activation timer that had decided to self-activate at the worst possible moment.
Rocky smiled as she recalled the language the usually so innocent Epilotta had let out when a gas burner had been turned on at the exact same moment they had reached it. Within seconds, the pellets had ignited, sending flickering flames and plenty of smoke up into the chimney. If they hadn't schmutted out of there at double the speed they had entered, they would have been well-done at both ends.
Lotta kept talking in an animated fashion about some of the other wild and crazy adventures they'd had the night before, but Rocky zoned it out and eyed her royal-blue jacket for the umpteenth time. The tickle-monster in her tummy told her it was time for the big announcement, but just as she wanted to get up from the dinner chair, Lotta's snow cone began to ring:
'Oh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet. Ohhhhhhhhh! The bells will jingle, jingle, jingle, the bells will jingle, jingle, jingle so sweet!' a choir of young lady-Elves suddenly sang.
"Oh, corn-on-a-cob! I forgot to turn off the cotton-candy snow cone!" Lotta cried and jumped out of the armchair where she had been sitting. In two steps, she was at the apparatus and snatched it from the base station before it could ring again. "Greetings and Merry Yuletide, this is Epilotta Elf speaking…"
Mumble, mumble.
"Uh… I beg your pardon?"
Mumble, mumble.
"Your toilet is backed up?"
Mumble, mumble!
"Well, that's certainly a nasty, ol' tickle-monster right there, I'll give you that, but-"
Mumble, mumble?
"Uh, no, you haven't reached Blicktude the plumber-Elf. This is Epi- pardon?"
Mumble, mumble?
"No, I'm sorry, Miss Elf, I don't know Blicktude Elf's personal snow cone number. I'll bet you a pancake he's listed in the Elf Springs yellow pages, though-"
Mumble, mumble!
"Oh! Uh… uh… please don't yell, Miss Elf," Lotta said and stared wide-eyed at first the snow cone and then her fellow Elves. Shrugging, she returned to the conversation. "I understand that you're upset, but yelling won't solve anyth- pardon?"
Mumble, mumble?
"No, I don't know any other plumbers, I'm afraid… uh… no. Farewell, Miss Elf…" Putting the snow cone back on the base station, Lotta turned around and shrugged so hard her shoulders reached up to her pointy ears. "That was a lady-Elf whose toilet had completely backed up. She had a plunger, but she didn't dare use it in case the whole thing exploded, and-"
"Ah!" Ingeborg Elf said, putting her hands in the air. "We get the picture, Epilotta. Thank you."
Snickering into her hand, Lotta reached down behind the sideboard to unplug the snow cone before she zipped back to the armchair and her hot mug of Yule-tea. Soon, the conversation was going at full speed once again - this time, she exchanged tips with Trickamore on how to make different, not to mention yummy and tasty, variations of Yule-tea, and if an Elf could put dried flowers or even orange peel in it and still have it be yummy and tasty.
Rocky let out a quiet chuckle as she watched her sweetheart lounging on the armchair: her right leg was hanging over the armrest and her head was so far over to the left to talk to her opposite-neighbor it was an Elfin miracle she could even stay inside the chair. There was never a dull moment whenever Epilotta Elf was near, but that was one of the reasons why she was so head over heels in love with her. It was simply the perfect illustration of the old phrase 'opposites attract.'
The tickle-monster in her tummy told her in no uncertain terms that it was high time for the special surprise she had planned. Her Elfin heart picked up the pace as her body cried out for a strong dose of energy to complete the plan. After exchanging glances with Thorbjorn and Ingeborg Elf - who had been in on the whole thing from the get-go - she got up from the dinner chair and strolled over to the royal-blue jacket.
Reaching into her pocket, she found the box with the special gift, and a note carrying a few cues that she had written on the rear side of an unusual piece of paper. The sheet would appear highly odd for the uninitiated, but Lotta would make the connection once she saw it.
Rocky needed to take several deep breaths to get her Elfin heart under control on the short way back to the low table. She put the box in her pants pocket for the time being to keep it safe, but unfolded the piece of paper so she could skim the cues she had jotted down. As her nervousness blossomed, her Elfin-blue eyes could hardly read the hand-written lines, but it didn't matter - she had been over it so often she knew it all by heart.
"My fellow Elves, I would like to say a few words," she said in a voice that trembled far too much for the tough, long-haul sleigh-driver's liking. She needed to take another deep breath and clear her throat a couple of times to get her vocal cords under control, but when she had, she returned to the text. "On the Night of Nights two years ago- oh…"
"- yeah, that's true, Trixie," Lotta said, completely and utterly oblivious to whatever else was going on in her own living room, "but I've tried green tea once. Earlier this year, Santa offered me and Rocky some after he had returned from a business conference in the Far East. The taste was… mmmm… all right, I s'pose, but it just wasn't the same as our own, good, old-fashioned Elfin Yule-tea."
"Epilotta," Ingeborg Elf said, leaning toward her daughter - it didn't help.
"For starters," Lotta continued, "they don't even put raisins in it! Can you believe that? Or chipped almonds, for that matter. Now, I know that all Elves are different, but for me, the yummy-yummy-yummiest part of Yule-tea has to be the soaked raisins!"
"Epilotta Elf! There's something important going on here!" Ingeborg Elf said, tapping her knuckles on the tabletop.
When Lotta realized that Rocky was standing up holding a piece of paper like she wanted to conduct a speech, a strong blush exploded onto her cheeks at her rudeness. At once, she ducked her head down between her shoulders and let out an embarrassed, little croak. "I'm sorry, dearest Rocky… please go on," she squeaked.
"Thank you, sweet Lotta… now… where was I?" Rocky said and looked down at the piece of paper. She deliberately held it up so Lotta could see the rear side - which was in reality the front. "Ah yes. On the Night of Nights two years ago, I was waiting for a new load down at Toy Factory Three when a secretary-Elf informed me that my regular gift-dropper Benny Elf had been indisposed, and that I would get a new gift-dropper for the evening. A rookie. Enter one Epilotta Elf whose youthful features and squeaky-clean schmutting uniform didn't exactly offer the impression that she knew what she was getting herself into."
Ingeborg, Thorbjorn and Trickamore Elf all chuckled at the description, but Lotta didn't. Her Elfin-green eyes were transfixed onto the piece of paper that Rocky held so the rear side could be read. It was a Yahtzee scorecard. For ninety-nine-point-nine-eight percent of the Elfin population of Elf Springs and elsewhere, reading from the rear side of a Yahtzee scorecard would seem quite odd, but not for Rocky and Lotta as such a scorecard had played a vital role in their budding relationship the previous Season to be Jolly. Rocky had sent her a note on which she had jotted down her innermost feelings for her. The only paper she had been able to find when the words had needed to come out had been a pad where the pages carried a pre-printed Yahtzee scorecard on the front and thus had a blank rear. Lotta's little, Elfin heart began to pick up the pace at the implications - now she had proof that something was afoot.
At the other end of the table, Rocky had carried on while Lotta had been busy thinking about the scorecard: "-went well, thank the Great Elf, so at the end of the evening, Santa called us in for a talk. Because we had saved those two Human children, we were awarded with the Elf hats with the golden bobble… Lotta is wearing hers right now, actually… and a spot on the roster of Santa's famed A-Team Elves. And that was it for our first Yuletide Eve together, more or less. We said our farewells and went our separate ways. Ah, but not before we had given each other a little kiss. You know, to celebrate a job well done. As Elves do. Ahem."
The Elves in the living room duly laughed, including Lotta - but hers was but a croak.
"As the moons passed," Rocky continued, "and the snow cone conversations between us about nothing in particular became more frequent, it dawned on me that something was bubbling just under the surface. However, it wasn't until last Season to be Jolly that the truth finally smacked me over the head like a mean-spirited tickle-monster. And the truth… well, the truth was that I had fallen hopelessly in love with the rookie gift-dropper-Elf, who, I might add, had blossomed into a charming, warm, kind, helpful and usually upbeat lady-Elf whose eagerness to experience the full, Elfin life was only rivaled by her eagerness to sink her Elfin teeth into a well-buttered raisin bun or a crunchy peppernut or a runny Welch-bread or the yummy chocolate frogs with the creamy center… you know, healthy, nutritious food."
This time, the laugh that escaped Lotta's throat was more liberated, and the other Elves joined her. Ingeborg Elf reached across the space between the couch and the armchair to give her daughter's hands a little squeeze that was responded to in kind.
Rocky smiled at the tender exchange before she returned to her cues. The pulse point on the side of her neck thumped like a crazed mountain hare, and she had to swallow a lump before she could go on: "How did I tell her? I wrote her a letter. A love letter that I had scribbled on the rear side of a Yahtzee scorecard down at the Hen's Teeth Pub while my long-haul buddies played Olsen and drank sweet white ale. Perhaps not the Elfin world's most romantic place for such a task, but I had to do it then and there, or else I would have had a meltdown. But did Epilotta Elf love this craggy saddle-bum of a long-haul sleigh-driver? Lo and behold, she did…"
The speech was interrupted by four Elves letting out identical awwwwwwww-ing which forced Rocky to wait for the sounds to die down. "Uh… she did, much to my Elfin heart's delight, and we've had a wonderful time together this past year since the last Season to be Jolly. And so, for this Night of Nights… or the day after, to be precise…"
Stuffing the scorecard into her pants pocket since she didn't need it anymore, Rocky retrieved the special, little box that she had cradled all evening, and indeed for most of December. She had bought the box and the contents thereof from a highly-skilled craftslady-Elf who had been appointed by Santa himself to serve as an intermediary between the realm of the Great Elf and all the faithful followers. As with most priceless artifacts, the item inside the box wasn't flashy or outrageously extravagant, but it represented a traditional link to the Great Elf that all Elves in love would understand inherently.
The tension in the living room was gaining a good head of steam after Rocky had stopped talking. The Elves were on the edge of their seat, especially Lotta whose strong fingers dug into the armrests of the chair. Her Elfin-green eyes stared at the box Rocky held in her hands; although she had seen such a box before, she didn't dare to let her train of thought travel to its inevitable destination.
"… I've decided to take the final step," Rocky continued, strolling around the low table until she had reached her sweetheart's spot.
Three Elfin voices - Lotta was too stunned to do anything apart from breathe through her open mouth, and even that was a strain on her Elfin being - let out another "Awwwwwwww!" when Rocky went down on one knee and presented the small box to Epilotta Elf.
As she opened the lid, it was revealed to contain a small, white pillow that held a wooden ring. The two-tone ring had been expertly polished to make the structure of the wood stand out, and the glossy surface of the high-quality piece of jewelry sparkled in the warm, orange light that came from the flickering flames behind Lotta.
"Epilotta Elf, this ring has been crafted from a branch of a Norway Spruce that stands next to the Sacred Pine Tree up in the Magical Calshiweah Forest," Rocky said in a voice that bucked and trembled like a reindeer after a three-day bender on fermented heath. Her mouth was so dry from the nervousness that blasted around inside her that she could hardly speak, but she had no saliva left whatsoever to do anything about it. "Th- thus, it acts as a representative of the Great Elf and is to be considered a sacred item… Epi- Epilotta Elf… will you…"
By now, even the simple act of breathing had become too much for Lotta's sensitive being. All she could do was to grip the armrests hard and stare into her dearest friend's Elfin-blue eyes that were just as wide and unblinking as her own.
"Will you accept my hand in th- the sacred Joining?" Rocky croaked, holding up the box with the ring.
Several seconds went by before someone said "Yes!" in a strong stage-whisper. The word hadn't come from Lotta since she had already gone past the point where she could control her voice. Trickamore let out a giddy squeal that she tried to keep muffled by clapping her hands over her mouth; Ingeborg Elf leaned in towards her daughter to poke some life into her while Thorbjorn Elf reached for his tea cup to begin the celebrations in style.
Rocky grew increasingly worried that something might go wrong after all, and several beads of nervous sweat formed on her forehead. One of them trickled down from the hairline, across the cheek and onto the chin where it sort-of dangled for a while before it gave up the struggle with gravity and fell to its doom on the collar of the cobalt-blue shirt.
"Yes…" someone croaked in a barely audible whisper. This time, the word had indeed come from Lotta who seemed to have returned from wherever she had been for the past Elfin-minute or so. Shuffling around in the armchair, she released the tickle-monster-grips she'd had on the armrests to reach for Rocky's hand, and ultimately the box with the ring. "Yes," she said again in a stronger voice.
Ingeborg Elf let out a howl of happiness, and began a frantic search of all her pockets to find her handkerchief that was sure to come under heavy fire for the foreseeable future.
"Yesssssss!" Lotta suddenly cried at the top of her lungs. The outburst finally released the floodgates, and every last Elf at the low table by the fireplace jumped to his or her feet and let out Elfin whoops and cheers of joy - except Rocky whose state of near-panic meant she couldn't keep her balance on one knee any longer.
The long-haul sleigh-driver bumped onto the floor to sit on her Elfin tush, but she held onto the box so no harm could come to the priceless ring. "Oh, by the Great Elf… that took a century out of my Elfin life right there," she croaked, using a trembling hand to wipe several beads of sweat off her forehead.
It wasn't long before Lotta helped her dearest friend - and now fiancée - to her feet and pulled her into a crushing hug. The kiss that followed was inevitable, and it went on for so long that black spots began to pop up in their vision. "I've dreamt about this, you know," Lotta whispered for Rocky's pointy ears only. "Remember? The dream I had about you and me dancing in a field wearing Joining dresses… remember I told you?"
"Yeah… I remember. That was on the trip way, way, way the cotton-candy up to Peary Land…"
"Yes! Oh, it was so Elfin beautiful, my dearest, dearest Rocky… the day of our Joining will be the bestest of my Elfin life… nothing… nothing can even come close to that. Not a thousand Yuletide Eves tho' I love 'em with all my Elfin heart… I love you more."
Smiling, Rocky went down for another kiss that she was hopeful would be just as strong as the first one. "And I love you, sweet Lotta… ohhh, you almost had me in a wad there… when you didn't answer…"
"I think I had an out-of-Elf experience!" Lotta said and snickered into her hand. "Oh, why are we still talking? We're gonna get Joined… so let's kiss!"
-*-*-*-
After a hundred-and-one hugs, kisses and pats on the back, the post-Yuletide bash was finally winding down after a day and an evening that had promised much, and had delivered even more. Lotta's parents Ingeborg and Thorbjorn Elf were in the hall, fully dressed in their winter coats and all set to leave - but when it became obvious that Lotta and her Mammi needed just one more hug, they wrapped their arms around their loved one and gave each other a good, old-fashioned Elfin crush while letting out sobby howls in perfect unison.
Thorbjorn Elf was more restrained, and settled for clasping Rocky's arm. "Well, I guess we'll be seein' a lot more of each other from now on, huh? You're a swell lady-Elf, Rocky, so that's just fine by me. I heard you play Olsen?"
"I sure do, Thorbjorn."
"I love me some Olsen," Lotta's father said with a grin as he pulled his arm back from Rocky's strong grip. "We definitely gotta play some time. After all, we need to settle who's gonna pay for the Joining… eh?"
Chuckling, Rocky stuck her thumbs into her belt hoops. "Yep," she said with a grin.
Lotta and Ingeborg Elf were done hugging at long last, but a final kiss between mother and daughter was a strict necessity. After separating, they rubbed their noses like they had done when Epilotta was still an itty-bitty Elf who hadn't yet dreamt of being a member of Santa's famed A-Team, and much less engaged to be Joined to a tough, long-haul sleigh-driver. "Oh, we've had such an Elfin good time tonight! Thank you for coming over, Mammi and Pappi! Get home safely," Lotta said, waving at her parents.
"Thank you, Epilotta dear," Ingeborg Elf said as she shuffled down the garden path. As always, the fresh, frosty snow creaked under her feet as she opened the garden gate and held it open for her husband. Closing it, she waved a last time at the Pine Cone Villa. "Don't forget to plug in the snow cone… I'll be calling you tomorrow!"
"Will do, Mammi! Have an Elfin good night, sleep tight and don't let the tickle-monsters bite!" Lotta cried, waving at her mother who waved back all over again.
Out at the sleigh, Thorbjorn Elf had already sat down at the reins, but a stern look - and an even sterner index finger - made him shuffle over to the passenger side of their sleigh's bench seat. 'But I can drive, dear!' Thorbjorn said, but a scathing reply in the shape of 'Not after all that egg nog and port and sweet white ale, you can't!' settled the deal. In short, Ingeborg Elf crawled up onto the bench seat and grabbed the reins. As she slapped them, their single reindeer took off down Chestnut Street at a slow, but safe pace.
Lotta kept standing in the doorway waving like a crazed mountain hare until her parents' sleigh turned a corner and drove out of sight. Closing the front door to keep some of the warmth on the inside, Lotta shuffled back into the living room where Trickamore was in the process of putting on her hooded winter coat.
The young lady-Elf collected all the presents she had been given, including the ball of yarn she had won for finding the whole almond. One by one, she put them into the reed basket she had brought with her, arranging the items so the heaviest presents were at the bottom, and the lightest or softest were at the top.
A wide yawn snuck up on Lotta, and she was powerless to stop it. It bushwhacked her just when she was about to talk to her opposite-neighbor, and she needed to cover her yap with both hands so she wouldn't appear crude or disrespectful. Smacking her lips, she only realized how exhausted she actually was when a wave of drowsiness rolled over her in a lazy, slow fashion.
She managed to smile, but the distance between the corners of her mouth and the corners of her tired eyes were so great the smile never made it all the way up there. "Oh, Trixie… I hope you haven't been bored out of your Elfin mind tonight. Spending the entire Yuletide Eve… or even the day after… with a bunch of old Elves like us can't be too much fun for a young'un like you."
"Aw!" Trickamore said and snickered into her hand. "I'm only forty years younger than you! And trust me, I wasn't bored for an Elfin-second tonight, Lotta… not even a single Elfin-second. We sang and we danced and we had the yummiest food I've had for ages… I loved every Elfin minute!"
"Well, that's good to hear," Lotta said and pulled the young lady-Elf into a brief hug. "By the way, have you seen Rocky anywhere? She was here… and then she wasn't!"
"Yes, she went into the kitchen to do the final dishes."
Lotta looked in that direction, but since she couldn't see around the inner corners of her home, she wasn't able to see whether or not Rocky was still out there. "Oh… right. Well, get home safely, Trixie," Lotta said, pulling her younger neighbor in for yet another good-sized hug.
"Thank you… I hope I will," Trickamore said and snickered again. Pushing the reed basket up her arm, she let it rest in the crook of her elbow so she had both hands free. "Ohhhhh, it's going to be really, really exciting from now on, Lotta! Oh, I can't wait to hear all about the details. I hope, hope, hope you'll invite me to your Joining!"
"But of course we will! Cotton-candy, Trixie!" Lotta said and swatted at Trickamore's tummy. "And the hen-Elf night, too. If I want one. Oh, this is all such a… such a… so… so unexpected. So exciting. So-"
"So scary?" Trickamore said in a stage-whisper.
"Uh-huh!"
The two lady-Elves snickered at the exchange before they went in for another little hug. "Oh, much as I'd love to, we can't talk all night, Trixie… farewell. I'll see you around."
"Farewell, Epilotta. And thank you once again for inviting me… and for all the wonderful, wonderful presents you gave me," Trickamore said and performed a short bow at the slightly older Elf.
Chuckling out loud, Lotta waved in dismissal as a blush rolled over her cheeks. She stepped aside and put a hand on her opposite-neighbor's back to guide her out to the hall. "Aw, Trixie! Don't mention it. It was the Elfin thing to do."
"Still. I'm certainly grateful," Trickamore said before she drew a deep breath. "Farewell, Miss Rockabye!" she cried, holding up her free hand to work as an amplifier.
' 'bye, Trixie! Get home safely!' Rocky cried back from the kitchen.
"Thank you!" Removing her hand from her mouth, Trickamore leaned in to offer her hostess a quick peck on the cheek before she walked into the hall, opened the front door, and shuffled down the creaking garden path on her way home.
---
In the kitchen, Rocky stood by the window to watch Trickamore Elf hop, skip and jump across the street with her reed basket safely perched on her elbow. In less than an Elfin-minute, the young lady-Elf stepped inside her own home and began igniting a few candles so she didn't have to walk around in darkness.
Chuckling, Rocky returned to the dishes, but she soon spotted Lotta standing in the doorway with a dead-tired expression on her face. "Sweet Lotta, you look like you've been at the wrong end of a tickle-monster…" she said, ringing excess water off her hands.
"That's how I f-" - Yawn! - "Feel, too… oh, by the Great Elf, I'm so tired. Dearest Rocky… just drop everything. We'll take care of it tomorrow."
"Works for me. Hit the pillows, Lotta. I'll spread the logs in the fireplace so they'll burn out before long. I'll be upstairs in a little while to…" - The two Elves gave each other a shy glance. "Tuck you in," Rocky continued as she took a tea towel to wipe down her hands for good.
Another yawn cracked Lotta's face wide open, and it came so suddenly she didn't even have time to cover her mouth. Smacking her lips a couple of times, she offered her dearest friend an embarrassed grin before she shuffled off down the hallway.
---
Rocky didn't enter Lotta's bedroom until she heard the bed creak and groan, and her sweetheart's voice calling out that it was all right to enter. Though they were about to take their relationship to a whole new level, nothing had actually changed yet. Intruding on Lotta while she got dressed for the night would be a breach of the trust they had in one another, and that was the last thing in the Elfin world that Rocky wanted.
The situation would be different after their Joining, and Rocky could hardly wait for the first proper night they would share a bed - the five minutes in the Quint Mining Company crystal mine up near Peary Land didn't count.
Peeking in, she observed Lotta in her bed with the heavy winter duvet pulled up to under her pert, Elfin nose. She wore a forest-green night cap made of satin, and she looked even more tired than she had been only minutes earlier. A single candle was burning on the nightstand, casting the bedroom in a mix of golden light and deep shadows.
Rocky closed the bedroom door behind her and slid over to the bed. Kneeling at the bedside, she leaned in to offer her sweetheart a little goodnight kiss. "So… I'll be by some time tomorrow to help you clean up and stuff. Do the final dishes and all that. We have a couple of things to discuss, too, you know."
"I'll say!" Lotta said and broke out in a little snicker. "Oh, dearest Rocky… I almost can't believe it… was it all just an egg nog-induced dream, or did you actually ask me if I wanted to get Joined with you…?"
"Yeah, I did. And you said yes," Rocky said warmly as she ran a finger across her sweetheart's cheek in a gentle caress. "Uh… before that, I noticed that you looked really, really sad when none of the presents you got came from me, but… the sacred ring kinda ate up quite a lot of my, uh… finances."
"I was a sad, sad, little Elf at times, yes… but then I got far, far, far more than I had ever hoped for. I feel like the Elfin world's luckiest lady-Elf now."
"That's great," Rocky said and let out a chuckle that had been on the brink of turning nervous. She caressed Lotta's cheek again just to see her smile - which she did. "Oh, and there's another, little thing. I've been asking around about a sleigh for you, and one of my old buddies has told me there's a really neat, sunflower-yellow two-seater runabout at a used-sleigh-dealership up in one of the northern suburbs of Elf Springs."
"Oooooh! Sunflower-yellow?"
"Mmmm. I was thinking that you might wanna come out and take a gander at it tomorrow… unless you're too tired, of course."
"Oh, by the Great Elf, I would love, love, love to do that, dearest Rocky!" Another yawn rolled over Lotta, and she had almost gone cross-eyed from the fatigue that had fallen over her like a wet blanket. Her ruddy complexion had turned pale, and her eyelids refused to stay open for any length of time.
"Sweet dreams, Epilotta Elf. Love you," Rocky said and leaned down to give her sweetheart another kiss on the lips.
A smile creased Lotta's well-kissed lips, but that was the last thing she did before her jaw became slack and she let out a whole slew of ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz's .
Rocky observed her sleeping lady-Elf-friend for a few seconds before she got to her feet and snuffed out the candle. Once her Elfin eyes had adjusted to the darkness in the bedroom, she tip-toed over to the door and snuck out.
---
Down in the hall, she grabbed her royal-blue jacket and slipped it on. It had been daylight when she had raced her sleigh over to the Pine Cone Villa to respond to Lotta's league-long work sheet, so she hadn't brought a winter coat. It would most likely be not only nippy-nosy but rosy-cheeky as well on her way back to her own place, but she was a tough ol' cookie of a long-haul sleigh-driver, and she could withstand anything - apart from an impossibly cute gift-dropper-Elf by the name of Epilotta.
Rocky chuckled as she closed the front door behind her with a soft phlum . As she had predicted, the evening air had turned chilly, and her breath became visible as large plumes of steam that drifted away on the faint breeze. High above her, the twinkling stars were out in force, and the Great Elf continued to play with her green veil like she had done throughout the Night of Nights.
Stopping halfway down the garden path, Rocky looked up to take in the sights of the magnificent light-show in the sky where the northern lights flashed across the heavens in wild, unpredictable patterns. She knew the ancient Elfin legends by heart - whenever the Great Elf played with her veil, a special, little Elf was born, but perhaps it could be used as a pointer for other special occasions, too?
A deep sigh of relief for how well the post-Yuletide bash - and the big announcement - had gone escaped Rocky's lips as she saluted the Great Elf and continued down the garden path. Opening and closing the gate by the snow-covered sidewalk, she went out to her sleigh and the waiting reindeer, Scepter.
After letting out a muted "Yah!" so she wouldn't disturb the entire neighborhood, Rockabye Elf drove the sleigh down the quiet, snow-covered Chestnut Street until she turned a corner and went out of sight…
*
*
THE END of YULETIDE BELLS ARE RING-ING
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
*
*
THE END of THE YODELING YULETREE AND OTHER ELFIN GOOD ADVENTURES