Epilogue:
Serena let out a cheer and drank another shot of vodka, sinking
back into the couch cushions and leaning heavily against Olivia's
shoulder. Fortunately Alex, who was perched half way on Olivia's
lap and using the arm of the couch to make up the difference, was
merely amused. "It's six to four," the smaller blonde recounted
aloud even though everyone could clearly see the score of the
baseball game on the television screen. "Which team am I cheering
for again?"
"The Yankees," Casey Novak lied, adjusting her baseball cap and
crossing her arms over her breasts.
"The Red Sox," Jane corrected. She had just finished a victory
dance, much to Casey's annoyance. "Remember? You said you wanted to
cheer for the team opposite Abbie." Taking her seat on the floor,
the Boston detective rested her head in Maura's lap and continued
to watch the game from between the medical examiner's legs. Casey
stuck out her tongue at Jane, who returned fire by reaching into
the popcorn bowl and throwing several kernels at the
redhead.
Olivia just shook her head and began stroking Alex's denim
covered thigh. Although she didn't wear them often, seeing the
attorney in jeans was a real treat. "I knew bringing these two
together was a bad idea," she muttered, watching Casey and Jane
make faces at each other. Maura and Alex were sipping wine while
she and Jane nursed their beers, but Serena had insisted on
something different. The former ADA enjoyed expensive wines as much
as Alex, but when she really wanted to get drunk, she preferred
vodka, and was much more inebriated than the rest of them. Alex, on
the other hand, preferred her vodka in a stereotypical uptown girl
Cosmo.
"All right," the detective said authoritatively, "that's enough for
you." She stroked Serena's hair affectionately. "You're already
going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow if you do a shot
every time the Sox score."
"In that case, I hope you black out, Serena!" Jane said,
whooping and spilling her popcorn as a well-placed bunt landed a
Boston batter on first base. She took a pull of her beer, and Casey
scowled.
"That was a hit, not a run."
Jane simply grinned at her. "I was thirsty."
Bleary-eyed, Serena tried to look around for a drink, but found
that her glass was empty and a well-meaning Olivia had confiscated
the bottle. "More," she demanded, sounding like a three year old as
she gestured towards the bottle.
"No," Alex said, taking pity on Olivia and deciding to help her
lover. "Why don't you close your eyes for a minute, Ser. You look
like you can't decide whether to fall over or burst into
song."
"Jane, stop that!" Maura's admonishment distracted Alex, Serena,
and Olivia from the bottle of vodka. They turned to see Casey and
Jane engaged in an all-out snack war. Casey had purloined a box of
Chex Mix (which Alex detested but Olivia loved) and started firing
at random. Several pieces had landed in Jane's hair, and
unfortunately, Maura found that she was an unintended casualty of
war.
The medical examiner frowned, brushing several pieces of popcorn
and Chex from her skirt. "That's it, I'm cutting you
off."
Jane wrapped a protective arm around her popcorn bowl, and then
moved her beer out of reach when she realized that Maura might have
been referring to her drink instead. "No," the honey blonde
corrected, "from sex. If you don't stop acting like a child, I'm
cutting you off from sex."
Obviously torn, the brunette bemoaned the unfairness of her
situation. "But she's... she's... one of them!" she
protested. Maura had no sympathy.
"Jane, behave."
"Yeah, Jane, behave," Casey parroted, throwing another
missile at Jane.
Alex aimed a smack at the back of Casey's head. "You'd better
stop too, or I'll tell everyone all about the time when you and
Jack-"
"What?" a voice nearly shouted in surprise. Abbie, who
had just returned from the bathroom, was stunned by the tail end of
the conversation. "Casey, you slept with Jack
McCoy?"
"Jesus Christ, no! I would never!"
Abbie breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. Even a straight
girl's gotta have some taste, especially since you wouldn't fuck
me, and everyone knows I'm gorgeous." She emphasized the last word
with a deep southern accent and threw herself onto the couch next
to Serena, making her stir where she was nestled against Olivia's
side.
"Abbie, I want some," she demanded as the Texan picked up her
drink from the side table and took a long swig.
"No!" Olivia, Alex, and Maura ordered in unison. Unlike the
detective and the lawyer, Maura had no interest in monitoring
Serena's alcohol intake. She was more concerned with her
girlfriend's attempts to wrestle Casey's Yankees cap off of her
head. She suspected that Jane might try and destroy the "profane
object", and had no desire to buy Casey a new one if she succeeded.
Jane pouted and moved to the other side of the floorspace in
front of the couch, separating herself from the disgruntled Yankees
fan. "You've won this round, Novak, but we'll still win the
game!"
"It's only the fifth inning," Casey retorted.
"Really?" Olivia asked in surprise. Judging by Serena's
intoxicated state, she had assumed they were in the seventh or
eighth at least. She had been too intent on playing babysitter to
bother keeping track. Since she was a Mets fan herself, Olivia
didn't have a particularly strong stake in the game, and wasn't
thrilled with either team.
"6-4? Dammit!" The Texan didn't follow baseball at all. In true
Southern style, she enjoyed Football, NASCAR, drinking, and being a
stereotype. She was only rooting for the Yankees this time because
she liked irritating Jane. Similarly, Serena had decided to side
with Boston in order to cheer against Abbie. That way, she figured,
at least one of them would end up getting victory
sex...
"We're winning," Serena said, her words fairly clear considering
the amount of alcohol in her system.
"How about some blood for the alcohol in your veins?" Alex
muttered. "I think it's time for you to start keeping an eye on
your woman, Abbie. I'm taking this back to the kitchen." She stood,
slightly unsteady herself from the amount of wine she had consumed,
and carried her glass, Olivia's empty beer bottle, and the
remaining vodka to the kitchen, wrinkling her nose as she glanced
at it. It was the cheap tinted and flavored variety usually
preferred by college students instead of financially comfortable,
middle-aged women, and definitely not to her taste. "Ugh, I'll
stick with mixed drinks when I go for vodka, thank you very
much..." she mumbled to herself as she left the
room.
"Abbie?" Serena asked in surprise, seemingly noticing her lover
for the first time. She smiled broadly and changed positions,
leaving her warm place against Olivia in favor of snuggling with
Abbie.
The Texan grinned. "Sorry, Benson. I probably shoulda warned you
that she's a cuddler when she's plastered."
"She was fine," the detective said generously. "I have a feeling
she's going to hate herself tomorrow, though."
"Maybe," Abbie admitted, "But that doesn't mean I won't enjoy
tonight. Alcohol usually makes Serena horny, especially
vodka..."
Casey, who had decided to join the conversation during a lull in
the game, put her hands over her ears and rocked back and forth.
"Too much information!"
"Come on, Novak, you're gay-er than the rest of us put together
except for the fact that you're straight."
The redhead shrugged. "Since I hang out with you guys all the
time, some things were bound to rub off... I guess I caught the gay
gene."
Maura clicked her tongue disapprovingly. "You know perfectly
well that lesbianism isn't contagious."
"I dunno," Jane pondered, resting her chin just above Maura's
knee and gazing slyly up at her lover. "You passed it on to me
easily enough."
For a moment, Maura looked shocked and a little offended, but
then she laughed. "I believe we are both equally culpable," she
said, relieved that Jane had forgotten about taunting Casey for the
moment.
Serena was equally distracted, and had forgotten about trying to
find more alcohol in favor of attempting to slide her hands beneath
Abbie's shirt. The Texan allowed Serena's palms to skim over her
stomach muscles, but prevented them from climbing higher. "Easy,
darlin', we don't want to give everyone a free
show."
Serena's explorations stopped abruptly as she let out a squeal
of delight. "Abbie! Remember when we faked having sex in Alex's
guest room?" Unfortunately, Alex returned to the living room just
in time to hear the tail-end of Serena's comment.
"-Too much information! Lalalalaaa-"
"Be quiet, Casey." Alex raised her eyebrows and gazed at Serena
sternly over the tops of her glasses. Even while slightly drunk,
she managed to be intimidating. "You were faking?"
Olivia confirmed Serena's story. "Yep. Apparently, Carmichael's
more of a gentlewoman than we thought. She actually wooed the fair
lady before bedding her while you were
globetrotting."
"So," Maura inquired, "is it reasonable to assume that the
household rules permit making love in the guest bedroom?" she
asked. After all, Jane's behavior had improved significantly. For
her part, Jane was just relieved that she had broken her lover's
habit of referring to their physical relationship as 'sexual
intercourse', a term she found extremely un-sexy. Making love was a
little "gushy" in her opinion, but a vast improvement, and pretty
accurate anyway.
Alex nodded. "For you two, yes. Even if Abbie and Serena were
faking that time, I know for a fact that they've put the guest room
to good use on more than one occasion... despite my repeated
requests that they restrain themselves." She frowned and shook her
head as another memory resurfaced.
"You should have knocked," Abbie said, capturing Serena's wrists
and kissing her fingers to try and distract the blonde from her
attempts at disrobing them both. "And why are Maura and Jane in the
guest room, anyway?"
"Because Maura is politer than you are," Alex fired back. Abbie
gave Alex a fake wounded look until the attorney added, "you and
Serena are in the master bedroom. And you can even fuck if you
change the sheets."
This was news to Olivia. "Then where are we sleeping? Not with
them, I hope."
"In the living room..." A solid thwack from the sound
system followed by the roar of the crowd caused Casey to jump out
of her seat, throwing her bag of Chex mix in the air as she lifted
her hands in the air triumphantly. Several pieces landed on Alex's
lap, and she sighed, shaking her head as Casey pumped her fists and
cheered. "Apparently covered in snacks. I didn't know that the
forecast called for heavy snack showers."
Casey blushed, shooting Alex a sheepish grin. "And where am I
sleeping?"
"I'm afraid you're in here with us. Sorry, Case, I couldn't
justify putting you in a king sized bed all by
yourself."
"I'd offer to let you share with me and Ser," Abbie offered,
"but I don't think you want to risk it with the kind of mood she's
in..." The Texan didn't have to explain further, because she was
currently trying to pry Serena's lips away from her
collarbone.
"You are more than welcome to sleep in the guest bedroom with
us, Casey," Maura said, surprising everyone. "Jane and I are sober
enough to... restrain ourselves."
Casey stuck out her lower lip and shook her head firmly. "No
way. I'm sure you're fine, Maura, but I refuse to get in the same
bed as a Red Sox fan."
"Fine," Jane shot back. "I didn't want you there
anyway."
"If it's any consolation, you get the couch," Alex said as she
tried to collect some of the spilled popcorn pieces and Chex mix
from the carpet. "Liv and I are sharing the blow-up
mattress..."
"Which isn't very comfortable," Olivia added.
Jane snorted. "Aw, they're cute... finishing each other's
sentences. It's like bad lesbian TV."
Casey was preoccupied with another thought. "Have you had sex on
the blow-up mattress?"
"No..." Olivia answered. "Why?"
"I'll take that instead. The couch is covered in popcorn
kernels, Serena is trying to get lucky on it right now, and Abbie
might have let slip that you two have used that couch for nefarious
purposes."
Another crack, followed by cheers. "YES!" Jane whooped, leaping
to her feet and doing an insane victory dance that made Maura bury
her face in her hands. "Enjoy losing and enjoy the blow-up bed,
Novak!"
The only three people who weren't distracted by Jane's victory
dance were Serena, Abbie, and Olivia. The Texan was having a very
difficult time keeping Serena's hands out of inappropriate places
for a public gathering, and the detective was amused at her
friend's predicament. It wasn't often that Abbie found herself
caught in a compromising situation that she hadn't orchestrated.
Olivia winked. "Get outta here, Carmichael. Take it to the bedroom
and get lucky since I can't."
Not wanting to draw any more awkward attention to herself, Abbie
helped Serena off the couch as the blonde finally succeeded in
unzipping her jeans and slipping a slender hand inside. "Gah!
Okay..." With a little bit of effort, Abbie managed to coax her
drunk charge down the hall towards the master
bedroom.
"Throw the sheets in the wash when you make me coffee in the
morning!" Alex hollered after them before letting her head fall
onto Olivia's shoulder and closing her eyes.
"I think both of those requests are wishful thinking," Olivia
said, tucking Alex's hair behind her ear and kissing her temple.
"Twenty bucks says Abbie stumbles out of our room at about twelve
thirty tomorrow afternoon with a serious case of
bedhead."
Alex didn't bother opening her eyes. "Our checking accounts are
linked. Betting you money is worthless," she said without moving
from her spot. "I'll bet you the first orgasm after this insane
crowd leaves tomorrow afternoon." Olivia spared a glance at Jane
and Casey, who were pantomiming a spirited debate with their hands
while Maura tried to keep the situation under
control.
"All right, blondie. You're on."
"You mean in."
"In?" Olivia frowned.
Alex cracked one eye open lazily. "In me, while you're giving me
the orgasm I'm going to win from you. Start thinking about how
you're going to pay up."
The End
For Now