Breathe
Cuz I can feel you breathe
Just watching over me
And suddently I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby isn't that the way that love supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Faith Hill......
***
Her feet felt like lead as she stood there watching them smile and kiss. She looked away as she closed her eyes, feeling her heart breaking every minute. She looked up to see Gabrielle looking at her and for a moment let everything slide and gave a warm smile as she pulled her in for a hug.
She felt like drawing her sword as Perdicus stepped forward but instead locked wrists and smiled.
Perdicus walked away, leaving them alone.
Xena turned to Gabrielle, her mouth opening to say something that would not come out.
Watching Joxer walk away, she turned and took a breath."I'm so happy for you."
"I'm gonna miss you...so much."
"Hey, it's not like we'll never see one another again. I'll visit you all the time."
"You promise?"
"I'll be knocking on your door so often, you'll be sick of me."
"Hmm...never." She turned to where Joxer and Perdicus were talking and laughing. "You know, I think I fell in love with him at Troy."
"No kidding."
"Huh."
"Gabrielle...I am not going to let you say goodbye. That's not what this is. We'll see one another again soon." She leaned down to kiss Gabrielle's lips, but pulled back, placing a kiss at the corner of the bards mouth.
Gabrielle shoved the flowers at Xena.
"Hah, hah." She watched Gabrielle grab a hold of Perdicus and leave her sight. "Goodbye, Gabrielle." She looked down at the flowers, trying to think.
She took a deep breath and hearing footsteps, looked up to see Joxer walking towards her.
"Nice ceremony wasn't it."
She grunted out her reply and looked away.
"Xena?"
"Hmm?"
"You okay?"
She looked down at the flowers, now lying on the ground. "Never been better."
***
"You're gonna miss her, aren't you?"
"Yeah. I'm more worried about her missing me, though. She's gonna be all alone. I have you."
"That makes you happy?"
"Very...I...if we have a daughter, do you think we can name her...?"
"Xena...I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Ah...Perdicus? I've...I've never been with a man, before. Have you? Been with women?"
"Uh...well...I was...I was a soldier, and..."
"I don't need to hear anymore."
"Does that bother you...that I've...I've been with...other women?"
"A little. But I guess one of us should be good at it."
"Hey...I never said that I was good at it."
***
Xena leaned back against the side of the wall, of the bath. The water was warm and should of been relaxing, but it wasn't. She couldn't help thinking of Gabrielle.
She dipped under, washing the soap from her hair, and heard a faint tapping on her door. Raising her head out of the water, she listened for it again. Then it came once more, lighter then the first. She wiped her wet hair out of her face and stood up, grabbing a towel.
She made sure it was wrapped and opened the door to see...."Gabrielle."
Gabrielle smiled. "Hi, did...did I bother..you?"
"No, not at all." She stepped back, making room for Gabrielle to enter.
The bard sat down gently on the bed.
Xena could tell by the look on the bards face that something was wrong. "What is it?"
Gabrielle licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I think I've made a mistake, Xena."
"What do you mean."
Gabrielle looked up. "Well, I was fine at the wedding. I said goodbye and went to our room. Started talking and then we...." She stopped and looked down.
"I get it." She sat down next to her.
Gabrielle looked up once more. "No, no you don't."
"Then explain things to me."
Gabrielle closed her eyes. "I couldn't do it."
"As in it I assume you mean, sex."
Gabrielle nodded.
"Why? You sick? That time of the month?"
Gabrielle shook her head to all those. "No, nothing like that. I was there and...he was there...I just couldn't. He touched me on my shoulder and I panicked." She looked up at Xena. "There's something wrong with me isn't there?"
"No, of course not."
"Then why did that happen?"
"You just weren't ready. Take it easy. You have plenty of time to...." She smiled. "Do it later."
Gabrielle looked down. "Thats not it, Xena."
"Then what is?" She bent a finger and pushed Gabrielle's chin up. "Tell me whats' wrong."
"Nothing wrong, really. I just think that I...." She looked away, but Xena pulled her face over again.
"Go on. You think that what?"
"That I married the wrong person."
Xena let Gabrielle's face go and chuckled. "Then who do you think you were supposed to marry?"
Gabrielle looked at her serious. "You."
Xena's brows drew together. "What?"
"I said you. I was standing in the bedroom and all I could think about was you. What you would do without me, how you would get along. Things like that." She turned away. "I didn't realize what I had done till it was over." She smiled. "I want you, not him."
"Does he know?"
She nodded.
"How did he take it?"
"Stop changing the subject. Do you love me....as I love you. As I want you. To hold you, kiss you, touch you, feel you." Her eyes closed.
Xena stood up.
Gabrielle opened her eyes. "Tell you don't feel that way and I'll go, but I won't go to him."
"Gabrielle, you are mak...."
"No." She shook her head. "I can't be making a worse mistake then I already did."
"This isn't right. You shouldn't..."
"Be feeling this way but I do. Face it Xena. It was bound to happen. I mean look at you. Anyone would be a fool not to fall in love with you." She took a breath, licking her lips. "And I have. I can't change that. The only thing I can do is tell you."
Xena rubbed her face with her hand, trying to think.
Gabrielle stood, looking down at Xena's bearly covered form. Her hands moved to Xena's waist and pulled her against her, breathing down her shoulder. "Please tell me you feel the same."
Xena closed her eyes. "Gabrielle I..."
Gabrielle started kissing her way along the naked shoulders, and along her neck. She heard Xena's intake of breath. "I'm right aren't I?"
Xena turned around, taking Gabrielle's face in her hands. "Gabrielle are you sure about this?"
"Yes." She turned her head to place a light kiss on the open palm. "Never been more sure in my life."She looked up into the blue eyes. "I knew it was you I was waiting for the moment I saw you. It just took me a while to figure it out."
Xena pulled Gabrielle to her, her cheek resting on Gabrielle's hair. "I love you. I couldn't breathe as I watched you two today. I thought that I had lost my chance to tell you how I felt. I never thought I'd get to hold you." She pulled away. "Stay with me tonight."
Gabrielle smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
As Xena pulled Gabrielle in for a kiss, she knew she was where she had waited her whole life to be. She pulled back and looked into Gabrielle eyes.
It was a long silence, niether woman was able to breathe as Gabrielle sat down on the bed, holding out her hand.
THE END