A KISS TO SPARE
Stein Willard
@2022
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THE MILKY WAY GALAXY
Perky III
Commander Angela Burkhouse found it hard to hide her irritation as she stepped around a large, hairy mountain of flesh on her way to the Pink Doll Tavern. She hated everything about this place, but she mostly hated the mission that had brought her here. A dedicated and decorated soldier, she had wanted to walk in the footsteps of both her mothers from the moment she understood what their jobs entailed. Peacekeepers. Who wouldn’t want to be part of a respected team of highly trained operatives who stood between the galaxy’s security and the greedy, depraved outlaws that threatened to take it down?
But chasing after fugitives held no challenge for her anymore. One way or another, these criminals get their just rewards. Their vicious lifestyles ensured that they had very short lifespans. She heard the noise even before she could see the place. The station master of Perky III, a stupid name for a fugitive den, had assured her that this particular tavern was the most popular and the loudest on the station.
“Hey, beautiful, you want some company?” a voice asked from the shadows, but Angela marched on, ignoring the…whoever it was. She was a soldier who lived by a strict code of ethics. She didn’t tolerate any form of hedonism. Keeping to a strict and organized lifestyle was what had helped her to reach the rank of Commander at the relatively young age of twenty-four. Most of her classmates still answered to Lieutenant and Ensign, and some had already left the Peacekeepers Corps due to various acts that warranted a dishonorable discharge. That would never happen to her. She aimed to one day take over from her mother as Grand Admiral of the Peacekeeping Corps.
She turned a corner and pursed her lips at the flashing sign depicting a suggestively- clothed woman pouring a foaming mug of ale over herself.
Oh, how she hated this place.
A large alien glared at her with beady dark eyes set in a round spikey face as she approached the door.
“Sorry, private party,” he growled as his eyes raked over her. She had to dress like the natives and was decked out in a tight leather outfit and ridiculous-looking boots that added a few inches to the 5ft7 frame. Luckily, covert operation training was a core module at the academy and she had excelled in it. Her large dark eyes, heart-shaped face and pixie cut gave her an air of innocence, which had been instrumental in catching many fugitives for confinement on the galaxy’s maximum-security penal colonies. This alien wouldn’t stand a chance if she were to turn on the charm. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t like it here and she was too agitated to try and be nice to anyone—least of all a talking porcupine.
“Unless,” the alien got a sleazy look on his face. “you’re part of the competition. You’re surely dressed for it.”
She mentally threw up a little in her mouth at the look directed at her person, but managed to force a smile. Getting inside was part of her mission because that was where her target was.
“Why else do you think I look this good?”
He grinned, showing a mouthful of razor-sharp teeth. “I’ll be sure to place a bet on you,” he said as he stepped aside allowing her to enter.
The inside was packed and smelled of stale smoke and unwashed bodies. Suppressing a gag, she scanned the area until she found who she was looking for and made a beeline for the table. On her way there, she took in more of the place. At first glance, there appeared to be more men in attendance, although with aliens it was difficult to tell. Some of the husky, hairy patrons could very well be female. The noise level was near earsplitting and she wondered how her team had managed to stay in here for so long while she was settling their docking fees with the Station Master. Something was happening in the center of the tavern, but a wall of tall aliens was blocking her view. She reached the table and noticed her team instantly sitting up straighter.
“Is she here?”
One of the team, a young female Ensign, nodded and leaned closer so she could speak into her ear.
“We can’t make …”
The rest of what the Ensign was about to say was lost to her when two ham-like hands locked on her biceps and she was physically lifted off her feet and carried through the reveling mass.
“Put me down!” she shouted at her captor and he did, only for her to turn and find Mr Porcupine looking down at her.
“The contestants are not allowed to mingle with the patrons until after the competition. Now, come with me. You’re almost on and I’ve put a lot of money on you.” He pushed her forward and at the same time used his large arms to push a path through the crowd. She found herself behind a curtain. There were two contestants ahead of her. One was a Pulponi. Their home planet was on the far reaches of the galaxy and they were renowned for their psychic abilities and beautiful physiques. They made great spies and served as secret agents for various planetary governments. The second woman was a Hibren. They were known as the great lovers of the galaxy. A small alien race with superb, so she had heard, sexual skills. Every brothel across the galaxy, including Earth, employed them. The petite woman pushed a silvery lock behind her ear as she sized Angela up.
“You’re out of your depth here, Earthling,” the Pulponi sneered.
“Well, we’ll see about that,” she snapped back. What the hell had she got herself into? And why was she competing with two sexually-renowned species in a tavern competition?
Loud booing could be heard and the curtain was pulled back followed by a curt ‘next’. The Pulponi smirked as she stepped forward leaving her with the Hibren. The woman hadn’t said anything to her, nor had she shown any real animosity towards Angela. She might just be willing to answer a few urgent questions.
“What are we competing for?”
The woman’s white-blonde eyebrow shot up.
“Don’t you know why you’re here?” She sounded suspicious.
Angela decided on a half-truth. “No. The only way I could get in was if I would take part in the competition. This is my first time on Perky.” Man, it sounded dumb to hear herself say the station’s name out loud.
The Hibren gave a small smile. “Well, then you’re in for quite a surprise if you were to be victorious.” The way she said it made it clear that she didn’t have any fears that Angela might win tonight.
“Why?”
The alien studied her for a moment longer before seemingly making up her mind.
“Every year on this date, the Day of Lovers, the empress hosts a competition to see who would be spending the night with her.”
“WHAT?!” She gaped at the woman with wide eyes.
The woman giggled. “Yes. Women from across the galaxy come in droves to see if they have what it takes to stir the empress’ lusts. The winner is generously rewarded. So generously, in fact, that you wouldn’t have to work another day in your life…of course, depending on your species.”
Angela glanced around for an exit. Not only was she to prostitute herself if she won, but…Wait!
“This competition…How does she know who is to her liking?”
“The empress is a Nouri. Their eye color changes when they are aroused, even by a little. That means if you get her eyes to shade during your kiss, then you are the winner. If they remained that color for longer than a few minutes, you are her heartmate.”
Oh no! She wasn’t going to do this. The loud booing make her cringe and she took a step back, but a large hand, seemingly coming out of nowhere, halted her progress. She was here to capture a fugitive, not kiss or, even worse, have sexual intercourse with some strange alien.