Disclaimer: It has been said that, "You cain't make fun of rednecks 'less you are one." Well I are one...at least by extension. So don't take offense to what you're about to read. And if you are offended, odds are pretty good that you ain't a redneck. < g >.
If you've a mind to let me know what you think just send me a note at patty1w75@yahoo.com
Redneck Lurve
Patty S
A greasy hand appeared from under the Chevy Dually pick up truck, the fingers making grabbing motions. "Hey babe! Hand me a beer, will ya?"
"Why? Your legs broke?" Sissy asked as she was placing the beer into the greasy hand. "You done yet?"
"Nope." Rai twisted the top off the bottle and took a swig. "Ahh, much better."
"You know that we're supposed to be at Slug's at four."
"Slug can wait. It ain't like we're that far away." Rai set the beer on the pavement, swiped her arm across her forehead to get rid of the sweat and went back to work getting the new oil filter in place. "Besides, we've got all the wood. He cain't even start the fire until we get there."
"And he'll be bitchin' about how late we are."
"Sissy, honey, all you gotta do to get him to shut up is give him a beer."
Sissy laughed and glanced at the open cooler. "There won't be any left if you don't stop drinking them and get the damned oil changed."
Rai rolled her eyes.
"And stop rolling yer eyes at me."
Rai stopped what she was doing and looked in the direction Sissy was standing. "You got x-ray vision now?"
"No."
Rai held up her middle finger.
"You know the answer is no. I'll be too tired after the party tonight and we'll be in a tent in your brother's back yard. No way we're doing the 'wild thing' with his kids and half yer family running around."
Rai glanced at her finger, then shook her head. "How the hell do you do that?"
Sissy smirked. "Because you're so damned predictable." She squatted near the front tire of the truck, leaning forward just enough to see under the vehicle. "But I might change my mind if you hurry up and get cleaned up."
Rai tightened the filter one last time with her right hand and smiled brightly at her partner. "Wanna join me under here or in the shower?" she asked, waggling her light brown eyebrows.
"Neither. If I get under there I'll get dirty. If I join you in the shower, we'll never make it to Slug's."
"And that's a bad thing because..."
"Rai!"
"All right!" Rai was laughing as she scooted out from under the truck. "Can I at least get a kiss?"
It was Sissy's turn to roll her eyes. "Fine." She lifted her head to kiss the taller woman, but backed up when greasy hands came at her. "Go!"
***
Rai stretched her long legs out in front of her and leaned back in the lawn chair, resting her head and closing her eyes. She was starting to fall asleep when she was startled awake by something very cold being pressed against the side of her neck. Dark blue eyes flew open to stare at her giggling partner. "Beatch."
"That's Ms. Beatch to you." Sissy plopped down beside Rai on the two seater lawn chair and shoved her drink into the cup holder.
"Where's mine?"
"In the cooler." Sissy winked at her grouchy lover, then leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "You're too tired to drink much. Any more and you'll be sound asleep."
"Party pooper," Rai stuck her tongue out.
"Yep. That's me." Sissy stretched and looked up into the clear night sky. "Can you believe it's February? I don't remember it ever being this warm."
"I know. Probably that global warning shit we hear about. I want snow."
"You're insane."
Rai grinned. "And that's why you love me." She kissed Sissy on the cheek. "Besides, if it'd just snow I could try out the new truck."
"Henry isn't gonna to let you drive the new snow plow and you know it." Sissy took a sip from her drink. "He'll be the first one to drive it."
"Not at two in the morning. That's when the temp's supposed to drop. Gonna start as rain soon and then snow later."
"You the weather man now?"
Rai grabbed her ample breasts. "Do I LOOK like a man?" she laughed. "Henry called my cell while you were getting your beer. He told me to make sure my ass was ready to go by two a.m."
"Tonight?"
"Tonight."
"It's almost nine. You're going to have to get to bed soon."
Rai waggled her eyebrows. "A woman after my own heart."
"I meant so you could sleep."
"Oh, I'm sure I'll get sleepy."
"Do you ever stop?"
Rai knelt in front of her partner, placed her large hands on the small knees and leaned in so close that their noses touched. She moved her head slightly to the side and gently kissed Sissy. Rai nipped at her partner's upper lip, then trailed her tongue along the outline of Sissy's mouth.
Rai's kisses continued along Sissy's jaw, down her neck to her pulse point where Rai spent a few moments to lavish some attention on her partner's most sensitive kissing spot.
Sissy moved a bit under Rai's body and Rai pulled back enough to ask, "Still want me to stop?"
"Damn you." Sissy breathed the words, leaning her head against Rai's shoulder. "You know the answer to that."
"Yeah?" Rai started kissing Sissy's neck again. "Why don't you tell me again?"
"Uh," was all Sissy could manage to say when Rai's lips found her left breast.
"Hmmm, I thought as much." Rai pressed harder against the soft flesh, her fingers quickly opening Sissy's shirt. She smiled to find her lover was not wearing a bra. "Looks like someone came prepared."
"Shut up."
"Mmm." Rai suckled Sissy's nipple, biting gently to enhance the pleasure she knew she was giving. Her left hand moved upward and pushed the shirt aside so Rai could massage Sissy's right breast.
"Yo Rai!" Slug's very deep and very loud voice carried to the backyard and stopped Rai in her tracks.
"Damn. What, Slug?"
"We're fixin' to play some Euchre. You two in or out?"
Rai gazed at her lover and winked. "Oh we're definitely out."
She heard her brother grumble before slamming the porch door as he went inside. Sissy smiled. "Let's head for the tent?"
"You know it."
***
"Snow. Cool." Rai smiled when she pulled back the tent flap to find a sheet of white covering the yard. There were three other tents across from hers, all filled with her nieces and nephews. She suspected most of them would soon be heading for the warmth of the house.
She closed the tent flap, glanced at her watch to make sure she still had some time and snuggled up to her lover. Her warm breath must have tickled, because Sissy swiped her hand and hit Rai in the face.
"Ow!"
"What?" Sissy opened one eye and stared at Rai. "Did I hit you?"
"I said 'Ow,' didn't I?"
"You're such a baby. You deserve it for sneaking up on me."
"I wasn't sneaking. I was snuggling."
"Uh huh." Sissy curled deeper into her sleeping bag. "Damn it's cold."
"It's snowing."
Sissy groaned. "Are you happy now? We get a white Valentine's Day."
Rai was grinning. "You know I am. But I'm happier to get to drive the new truck. Henry won't be in until 6 or later."
"When you planning to come home?"
Rai shrugged. "Soon as the roads are clear and we get a load or two of salt down. Why?"
"You forgot." Sissy narrowed her eyes and tried to be intimidating. "I can't believe you forgot."
"Um, okay. I forgot." Rai leaned closer to the smaller woman and whispered, "What'd I forget?"
"We have plans tonight, idiot. Nice romantic dinner, a movie, cuddling on the couch..."
"Romantic? Was that my idea or yours?"
"Yours."
Rai put on her most pensive face. "Romantic?"
"Romantic."
"Cuddling?"
Sissy was trying hard not to smile. "Cuddling."
"That's do-able." Rai nodded her head then leaned forward to give Sissy a kiss. "Yep. Real do-able. But I might have to get back to you on the dinner part. I don't think I'll be up to cooking when I get home."
"That's good since we had already decided go to Outback for dinner."
"Outback?"
"Yes."
"Hmm. Okay." Rai got to her feet and zipped up her Carhart coveralls. "You gonna be warm enough out here?"
"Probably not." Sissy shivered to prove her point.
"Best get inside now then. Before all the kids wake up and take up spots in the living room."
Sissy yawned and stood up, dragging her sleeping bag with her. "I'll kick the little shits off the couch. I'm old. I need comfort."
"You're not old." Rai kissed her on the cheek and stepped out of the tent. "You're just used."
Sissy started after her lover, but Rai was already running for her car. Sissy tripped over her sleeping bag on the way out of the tent. From the snowy, wet ground she could see Rai was laughing at her.
***
Sissy paced across the living room of their trailer for the fifth time. She looked at her watch again and learned only five minutes had passed. "Where the hell is she?"
She flipped open her cell phone and hit send twice. Again it dialed Rai's cell phone number. Four rings then Rai's overly cheerful voice mail responded, "Speak!" Sissy closed her phone and put it back in the holder on her belt. "Damn."
Another trip across the living room. "Six steps across. Ten if I go into the kitchen." Sissy let out a slow breath. "I'm counting steps and talking to myself. Great."
Sissy went to the front of the trailer and peaked out between the blinds. Only her car was in the driveway and already it was covered with snow. Nearly three feet had fallen since last night and there was no sign it would be letting up. The last time Sissy had talked to Rai was around noon. She had stopped for a quick lunch before heading back out onto the road. As usual, they met in town at the local diner.
"How's the new truck?" Sissy asked.
"Sweet!" Rai replied, unzipping the top of her Carharts to cool off a little. "The heater works so good that I have to turn it down about five minutes after I set out. Runs as smooth as a baby's ass and purrs like a kitten."
Sissy nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "You gonna get to go home soon?"
"Don't look like it. This is the first time I've really taken a break since two this morning. And I've only got fifteen minutes. Henry wants me to hit Back Bone Hill soon as I'm done. They've already had six crashes there."
"Well be careful then. Don't want you crashing the new truck."
Rai quickly consumed her corned beef sandwich, talking between bites. "Oh, is my girl worried about me?"
"No. I don't want to have to pay for that two hundred thousand dollar truck."
Rai threw a potato chip at Sissy. "Love you too, babe."
"You know I do. Just be careful. Okay?"
"Yes dear."
"And call me as soon as you know you're coming home."
"Yes dear."
"And don't turn your damn cell phone off."
"I never turn it off."
Sissy raised one eyebrow at her lover. "Uh huh. And when I tried to call you last week?"
"Okay, okay," she said, waving her off. "I won't turn the damn cell phone off. Anything else?"
Sissy shook her head and finished her coffee as Rai got up to leave. "Just be careful."
"You already said that."
Sissy stood and helped Rai zip up her coveralls. "I know. But I meant it." She kissed her partner. "Now get going before Henry gets pissed off."
Rai saluted her and headed to her truck.
Sissy plopped down on the couch, nearly landing on her cat. "Sorry Twister." The cat gave her an insulted look, the curled up next to her and went back to sleep. "Wish I could sleep that easily." Sissy absently petted the cat and tried in vain not to look at the clock again.
It was just passed ten. With a sigh she picked up her cell phone and hit send twice. This time she heard a familiar voice on the other end.
"Rai!" Sissy stood up, dumping Twister onto the floor. "Rai, where the hell are you?"
"I'm – the hill. I got stuck – 'bout two more hours ---"
"Rai? Where are you? I'll come get you."
There was only static on the other end for a few seconds, then Rai's voice came through. "Henry is on his way. I just --- top of the hill. I'll --- okay."
"What? Rai I can't make out what you're saying."
Sissy strained to hear what Rai was saying, but the static covered her words. A few more seconds and the connection was lost.
"Great." Sissy closed her phone and shoved it into the holder on her belt. "
***
"'Bout damn time." Rai grumbled as she climbed out of her truck.
Henry was shaking his head before he ever got to her. "Tell me how it is that you can drive a one-ton snow plow all day long and never so much as scratch it, then as soon as your ass is behind the wheel of your own pick up you put it in the ditch."
Rai sighed. "I didn't have to dodge other jackasses when I was in the big truck. Besides, if the guy who cleared this road had done his job, I wouldn't have lost traction and slid."
"Ha ha." Henry walked around her pick up to assess the situation. "Not stuck too bad. Just the back dually. I'll hook up the chain. Shouldn't take but a sec to get you out."
"You're a real prince, Henry."
"Yeah yeah. Don't tell nobody. Don't want to ruin my rep."
"Whatever."
***
Rai slowly opened the trailer door, hoping that Sissy would be asleep. She turned to the living room and found her lover stretched out on the couch with Twister happily planted behind her legs.
It was still fairly dark inside the trailer and as Rai went into the living room she tripped on the step and landed on top of her lover. Twister screeched and bolted out of the room, running across Sissy's face.
Sissy tried to sit up and knocked heads with Rai. "Ow!" Both women fell back, Rai falling completely off the couch.
"Shit."
"What the hell?" Sissy grumbled and tried once again to sit up. "Rai?"
"Yeah. Who else would it be?" Rai also sat up, rubbing her forehead. "Happy frickin' Valentine's Day."
"Yeah." Sissy reached down and helped Rai onto the couch. "If you hadn't jumped on me I wouldn't have knocked you to the floor."
"I didn't jump. I tripped over the damn step into the living room."
"Oh. You mean the one that's been there for the last ten years?"
"Yeah. That one." Rai leaned back on the couch and stretched her long legs out before her. "Damn."
"Where the hell have you been, anyway? I've been worried sick." Sissy punched her in the arm. "And why wasn't your cell phone turned on? You said you'd leave it on."
"I slid off the road and I did have the damn thing on. Just wasn't getting enough of a signal. Hell, I had to walk halfway up Back Bone Hill just to get enough signal to call Henry to come pull me out."
"You could call Henry but not me?"
Rai looked sideways at her lover and sighed. "Would you rather me get unstuck or know that I was stuck? I only had enough juice in the stupid phone for one call."
"Hmmm. Well, Happy Valentine's Day then." Sissy gave her a quick kiss. "You hungry?"
"Starved, but I don't think I have the energy to eat."
"Wanna just go to bed?"
Rai shrugged. "I suppose."
"Okay." Sissy got up and dragged the taller woman with her. "You still have to work in the morning?"
"Nope. We all got the day off. You?"
"It's my day off." Sissy moved a step closer, sliding her arms around Rai's hips. "You sure you wanna sleep?"
Rai's eyebrow lifted. "Um, I don't know. Whatcha got in mind?"
"Hmmm." Sissy pulled Rai's head down and kissed her soundly.
"That's a good start."
"Yep." Rai pulled her closer and returned the kiss in earnest. Their tongues played with each other as they nipped and sucked, teasing one another for a few minutes. Rai gently pushed Sissy back onto the couch and eased her larger frame on top of her lover. "Hmmm, who needs sleep."
"Shut up and kiss me," Sissy grabbed her hair and held Rai's head down, sealing their lips together in a passionate kiss.
Rai let her hand wander, sliding it under Sissy's shirt. She smiled when she felt no bra. "Well, someone was ready."
"Romantic evening. Remember?"
"Uh huh." Rai slid the shirt out of the way so she could pay attention to the small breasts below her. Her lips circled each nipple in turn, nipping and teasing her partner even more. Her free hand loosened Sissy's jeans and slid down into her underpants. "Wow. Wet."
"All for you baby."
"Time to get nekkid!" Rai jumped up and pulled Sissy's jeans off her. She had to tug a bit and when the jeans were freed from the small legs, Rai fell back a step and landed on her butt on the floor. "Dammit."
Sissy giggled. "You got a problem tonight? Too much drinking or what?"
"I ain't had a drop."
"Then quit acting drunk and get over here."
"Yes ma'am!" Rai got up and dove on top of Sissy, knocking the wind out of her.
"Not-what-I meant."
"What?" Rai pulled back a bit. "You don't want me on top?"
"I didn't say that."
"Okay," Rai ducked her head and got back to the business at hand. She slowly made her way down until she was settled between Sissy's legs. "Hmm. Nice."
"Uh huh," Sissy arched her back to give Rai more space. Rai nestled her face into Sissy's crotch. At the same time, Sissy curled her legs around Rai's body.
"Oh yeah, Lesbian aerobics!" Rai got her hands under Sissy's butt and helped her lover lift up.
It was then that Twister decided it was time to go back to the living room. He jumped first onto Sissy's bare chest, then made a leap for Rai's back.
Instinctively, Rai tried to raise up to dislodge the cat, but .Twister was having none of that and dug his claws in to keep his spot. The more Rai moved, the deeper those claws got.
Rai tried to buck the cat from her back. Sissy giggled as she watched her hapless lover move around the living room like a wild woman trying to get the cat off of her.
"Will you help me? Stop laughing at me!"
"I can't help it! Besides, this must be some kind of new Lesbian aerobics, because I've never seen this one before!"
"I hate you." Rai grumbled, twisting sideways hoping the cat would fall off.
Twister, who thought this was a very cool game, held onto his human playmate. "Twister!" Sissy yelled between giggles. "Let Rai go."
Twister looked at his mistress as if to say, "Do I have to?"
Sissy giggled even harder. "Twister!"
Rai finally fell to her knees and Twister took the opportunity to jump from his perch to the couch. Rai gave Sissy a dirty look. "I hate that damn cat."
"He's a sweety. He just wanted to play with you."
"Right," Rai continued to grumble. "Let's just go to bed."
"Okay babe." Sissy took her grouchy lover's hand and led her into the bedroom. They both undressed completely and crawled under the warm covers.
Sissy wrapped herself around Rai and whispered, "Better?"
"Much." Rai buried her face between Sissy's breasts. "Now this is comfy."
"Uh huh. Wanna have another shot at this?"
Rai's head perked up. "Really?"
"Really." Sissy kissed her on the nose. "I think you've had a hard enough day. Maybe you just need some taking care of."
"Real Lesbian aerobics?"
"Well, maybe not aerobics, but definitely a workout."
"Cool."
Sissy smiled and pushed Rai onto her back, letting her hands wander across the smooth skin, spending time in all the places that would make Rai relax. Her fingers lightly teased at Rai's opening, barely touching the warm flesh, keeping Rai aroused.
"So very nice, baby."
"I know." Sissy kissed her lovers labia and settled between her legs. Those strong legs wrapped around Sissy's smaller body and held her in place. "Hmmm, this is gonna be a long night."
"Good."
Sissy continued her ministrations, enjoying her lover's soft touch at the small of her back. "Wow. I never realized how long your arms are."
"Huh?" Rai asked in her pleasure enhanced haze. "What do ya mean?"
"I like the way you're rubbing my back."
Rai pulled her arms from behind her head and looked down at Sissy. "Babe, it's not me."
The women stared at one another for a moment, then chorused one word: "TWISTER!"
The End