part 7
by DS Bauden
Disclaimer: This next section
deals with descriptions of domestic and physical abuse. If this upsets or disturbs you, please feel
free to read something else. I just
wanted to forewarn you. Thanks for
reading.
Chapter Twelve
Do I sit here all day and wait for her to
come out? Or do I knock the door down
to convince her how sorry I am. Oh
right, good one Frankie, show lack of physical control to a woman who fears her
boyfriend's beatings. I should just
knock again and see what happens.
I knocked again
but nothing happened. So I knocked
again this time louder.
"Annie, I
know you are in there. Please just hear
me out." Yeah right, what are you going to say that she's gonna believe?
"Go away
Frankie. I don't want to see you
again." Annie said sternly to the
door. I could tell her face was only
inches away from it. I leaned my
forehead against the door and spoke to her again.
"Please open
the door Annie, I really need to talk to you." And I need to see your
beautiful green eyes again. Come on
darlin'; open the door for me, please.
"What could
you possibly say to me that I have any interest in hearing?" She asked.
Good question.
"I need for
you to know what happened. I know you
and I don't know each other that well, and there is nothing that I can say that
can possibly make any sense to you about my leaving. But you have to know that I HAD to leave Annie. I didn't want to go. I didn't have a choice Annie, please believe
me." I took a long breath to see
if anything would change.
Nothing.
"Annie,
please, you know me just enough to know that if you didn't mean anything to me,
I wouldn't be here right now. You have
to know that. Please Annie. Please open the door." I could feel my voice fade out as I asked
her one last time to open the door. I
really didn't know what else I could say.
If she didn't want to see me, she wouldn't open the door and when I
decided that it was time to wake up, I would return to my future life once
again.
God this is so fucked up.
I heard small sighs
on the other side of the door. I was
hoping that maybe she had changed her mind and wanted to open the door. I felt my face being hit as she slammed
something into the other side of the door, hitting me in the process. That would teach me to lean my face against
a door.
"Ow! Damn, that was my nose!" I said while holding my nose.
I heard a gasp
from her room as she swung the door open.
"Frankie! I'm
so sorry! Did I hurt you?" She said as she fumbled to get a closer look
at my face.
Looking at the
smaller woman in front of me I noticed her bruised face. The wounds had started to yellow from
healing, but it was still noticeable. I
took her face gently in my hands and looked into her eyes for the first
time. She immediately knew what I was
doing and pulled back into her room.
This time she left the door open.
I took that as an invitation and walked in and closed the door behind
me.
"Annie, what
happened to you? Are you all
right?" I asked her back facing
me.
I didn't hear any
response, just small sobs that started to leave her body. I walked behind her and lightly placed my
hand on her shoulder. I could feel her
body flinch at my touch so I pulled away.
"Please tell
me what happened, Annie." I was
almost pleading. I needed to know what had
happened. It wasn't a mystery to me who
had done this though; that bastard was going to pay for this.
"I'll be here
for you, I promise. A Camarelli never
breaks a promise." I heard my
words coming back at me like daggers going in for the kill. She turned around and faced me with her
bruised face and tears streaming down her black and blue cheeks.
"Annie…
I…"
"Don't even
say it Frankie. You lied to me. I trusted you and you lied to me." She
said as she started to pace through her room.
I watched her like I was watching a caged tiger at a circus. She needed to get this out, and dammit it
WAS my fault. This was MY fault.
"This was my
fault Annie. I'm so sorry."
"DON'T! You come into my life
acting like you can help me, change my life, be my closest friend, and most of
all give me strength enough to leave my abusive piece of shit that I call my
boyfriend. Then you disappear like the
Holy Ghost." She said sarcastically
with a smirk.
"Annie, I was forced to leave."
"I'm not finished yet." She
walked up to me and got so close that I could smell the toothpaste she
used. "You fell asleep in the
truck on the way to the liquor store. I
left you in there because I thought you needed the rest. I came back out with a fucking keg of beer
so my drunken boyfriend could enjoy himself with his drunken ass friends, and
you were no where to be found…" She paused to try and compose
herself. I could tell she was no where
near done.
God I hate this! I wish I could just tell you the truth.
"I thought maybe
you had gone to the restroom or something and just didn't see me or know where
I was in the store. I waited for you
for an hour Frankie. A fucking hour! I took the damn beer back to the beach and
Billy was fucking foaming at the mouth because I took so damn long to get back
there!" She continued to cry as
she told me her ordeal. I could feel my
heart breaking at her pain and sorrow.
"I tried to talk to him, but he was so angry, Frankie. God he was angry. He slapped me in the back of my head in front of everyone at the
beach. I couldn't believe it. I never thought he would actually let anyone
see him do that to me. I guess I was
wrong again." She stopped and let
the tears flow down her face. She took
a deep cleansing breath and looked up into my eyes with her tear-filled ones.
"So…
Frankie? Tell me what happened to
you. I hope it was worth it. You know, I thought you were different. You seemed so different then all of these
people that call me their friend. I
truly believed that I finally could acquire the strength that I needed to leave
Billy with you at my side. All it got
me was this face." She pointed at
her wounds to clearly demonstrate her failure.
"Annie,
please stop. I am so sorry. You HAVE to believe me."
"Why, because you have been so honest with me since we met? Try again lady." She said very bitterly.
Ouch that one hurt.
"Annie, I
cannot possibly tell you the truth about what happened to me. You would never in a million years believe
what I had to do. All I can tell you is
this. What pulled me from you is
something that holds me stronger than anything you can imagine. I had no choice but to leave. I swear on my father's soul that if I could
have stayed with you, I would have.
Please believe me Annie. I truly
am so very sorry that he hurt you again."
I said as I felt my throat start to constrict from the emotion that I
was feeling.
She sat and
listened to me and just stared. It made
me feel a little uneasy at first, but I knew she was just looking to see if I
was telling the truth. I could tell a
part of her wanted to believe me, and all of me wanted that part to win.
"So you can't
tell me why you left?" She was
trying to understand. I could feel it.
"No I
can't. Please know that if it were
something that I could have controlled, I would have. I know your situation. I
would NEVER have given you a promise and then bailed out on you." I looked into her eyes hoping that she
believed me. "I'm not like
that."
"Well, I have nothing good to compare that to at this point, I'm sorry to
disappoint you. I don't know you very
well, Frankie."
"I know you don't, Annie, but I want to change that. If you give me a chance to make this up to
you, I swear to everything Sacred that I will.
I promise you, Annie." I took
her hand and looked into her wet, bloodshot eyes as I said my last plea.
"I swear to
you Frankie, if you ever lie to me, don't EVEN look my way again. I hate when people lie to me. I won't allow it or tolerate that in my
life. I have too much shit to deal with
as it is." She squeezed my hand
and let go as she walked towards the window of her room.
She placed her
hands against the glass and just looked down.
I walked so I was right beside her and shared her view. She had an incredible view of Sheridan Road
from up there. Eighteen floors up will
do wonders to a normally gray colored city.
You could see a light trail from the street lamps all the way up the
street.
"I bet this
looks amazing at night." I said
nonchalantly.
"It is quite
a view. The lights go all the way North
until you can't see the road anymore.
On a clear day it seems like you can see for miles. It's really quite lovely." She said in a quiet, almost childlike voice.
We stayed like
that for several moments and she turned to look at me.
"I really
hope you are the person I think you are.
I have always known that my life would be able to change with the right
person in my corner. I hope you are
that person, Frankie."
"I can be whatever you need, Annie.
I will do everything I possibly can to help you with Billy. I'll help you, I promise." I whispered as I pulled her into an uneasy
embrace. She pulled away and turned
away from my questioning stare.
"I'm sorry Frankie. I just don't
feel comfortable when people hug me. I'm
sorry. It's just something I need to
get over. Please don't be offended by
it." She turned to face me as she
finished her apology.
"First of all
Annie, you don't have to apologize. I'm
a touchy Italian, I can't help myself.
I should be apologizing to you.
From now on I will not touch you at all without your permission. But um, if you ever want a hug, all you have
to do is ask, and I'll give you one without question. Deal?" I asked her
with a hope-filled look.
"Deal. Thank you, Frankie." She smiled that beautiful smile at me and I
could feel my heart begin to melt once again.
I hope the day continues to go in this
direction. I could really get used to
seeing that smile.
Chapter Thirteen
"So you wanna
go for a walk?" I asked her.
"No. I really don't want anyone to see me like
this." She explained sadly.
"Annie? What happened to your face?" I asked tentatively.
She paused and
walked from the window to sit on the edge of her bed. She sat there with her hands folded in her lap trying to gather
her emotions. I could tell that she
wanted to tell someone, and I was hoping that she would feel better once she
got it out in the open.
Billy's ass is gonna pay for this.
"After the
slapping incident, I told Billy I didn't want to see him anymore." She said quietly. I walked over to where she was and sat next to her on the
bed. "He got really pissed. He called me so many nasty names I stopped
counting after awhile. I left the beach
party and told Betsy I was going to my room because I wasn't feeling well. I was so emotionally confused about Billy,
and I was worried sick about you."
She said as she looked sadly into my eyes. If a look could make your heart break, then mine definitely
needed to go in for repair.
"I walked
upstairs and could hear him calling after me.
Luckily I had a good lead on him and I told the security guard not to
let him in. As the elevator door closed
I could hear him screaming obscenities at the guard. The last thing I heard before his voice faded was his warning to
me that he would get me for this. I
found out later that campus security had to remove him from the
building." She stopped as her
voice quivered a bit. She took a deep
breath and continued. "I went into
my room and was afraid to leave it for a few days. After several days I started to go to class and Billy was nowhere
to be found. I hoped that he was over
the whole thing, but unfortunately he wasn't." I leaned closer and began to rub her back. She didn't ask me to stop so I didn't. I wasn't sure if I should say anything at
this time so I just let her finish.
"A few days
ago I was on my way back from my writing class. I was completely oblivious to everything around me because it was
such a beautiful day outside. Before I
knew it I was in the elevator on my way up to my room. I got out of the elevator and felt someone
grab my arm roughly. I didn't need an
introduction, I knew who it was.
Billy's alcohol filled breath was all I needed to know who it was. I felt my body start to shut down like it
did when my dad used to beat me."
She got up and went over to her little refrigerator and pulled out a
bottle of juice and proceeded to drink its contents. She emptied the bottle and came back to sit on the bed.
"I felt Billy
dragging me towards my room by my hair.
I don't really remember a whole lot of it. It was almost like I was watching it from someone else's
eyes. He grabbed my hand that had my
keys and he squeezed it tearing the skin off of my palm. I remember crying out from the pain in my
hand and dropping my keys. He picked
them up and quickly opened my dorm room door.
He threw me inside and I landed on my bed. He slammed the door shut and slowly approached me like I was some
kind of prey for the taking. His eyes
were so glossed over; he was definitely high on something. Probably pot, he liked to breathe that in
more than fresh air.
"He said he
was gonna make me see that no other man would be good enough for me. If I didn't see it his way, he'd make sure
that I wouldn't be good enough for anyone ever again. I got scared, really scared.
I had seen Billy angry before, but this time he was out of control. I guess me telling him that I wasn't going
to see him anymore got him just a little pissed."
I just sat there with my eyes bearing into her as she relived her tale. She looked like she had nothing left in her
as she retold her story. Her energy was
just sucked out of her throughout this ordeal.
She just sat there and told the story with no emotion, no feeling, no…
life.
"He pulled me
up by my shirt and punched me square in the face. All I remember was seeing stars and landing back on the bed. The blood that started to pool from my mouth
started to drip down my throat and I began to choke. I spit out a lot of blood and it got all over my sheets, Billy,
and me. I started to cry and plead with
him to just let it go and to move on with his life. He wouldn't have any of that at all. He slapped my face again and mounted himself on top of me. There was no question in my mind of what he
wanted to accomplish with this visit. I
started to get really queasy and I threw up all over him. This only made him angrier and he punched my
face again. I passed out after that and
when I woke up he was gone. My clothes
were still on so I guess he didn't have sex with me, thank God. As bad as the
beatings were I never was raped and I am truly thankful for that. I mean I'd
had sex with him, I just never wanted him or anyone to take me that way. That is one thing my dad never did either. I don't think I could have come back to a
regular life had he done that. I don't
know how people can survive when things like that happen. It just makes me feel better about my own
circumstances. My life was never filled
with roses, but it wasn't as bad as some people have it, you know?"
I guess when she
needed to talk about something, she really meant it. It didn't matter to me, as long as she wanted to share some of
her life with me, I would be here to listen.
I could feel my
own body start to shake at the pictures of abuse that she was painting of her
childhood. She started to tell me
stories of her father's abuse. My eyes
were wide with shock of the abuse that she endured a good majority of her
life. I could tell she wanted me to
know the whole picture, and I was trying to be as supportive as possible. I found myself very angry at the idea of
someone harming her on such a regular basis.
I bet she never knew what a real childhood was supposed to be like:
loving parents, friends to play kickball with, a place to call home without
fearing it. It certainly wasn't the
life that she led. I don't know how
long I could have handled a life like that without leaving or at least killing
my father. I knew one thing for
certain, I was gonna do everything I could to make sure no one harmed her
again. If that meant becoming a
bodyguard for this beautiful woman, well, then I couldn't have asked for a
better job.
"So now that
you have the whole sordid tale, you still want to be my friend?" She asked bitterly.
"Oh, Annie,
there is nothing that I want more in this world, except for your happiness and
safety." I replied. "Please let me help you find
both."
She turned to look
at me and I know that my hidden tears were well beyond staying inside. I took one look at her trusting face and
knew that this was someone that shared a deep part of my soul. I let the tears fall. She reached up and wiped them away with her
fingertips.
"I will let
you. Just promise me one
thing." She smiled.
"Anything,
anything at all." I said quickly.
"Don't break
your promises, it would kill me."
It scared me to think how true those words could be. Especially with a psycho like Billy in her
life.
"I give you
my word as your friend and protector, I will never break these promises to
you. I'll figure out a way to keep
Billy from ever touching you again."
"Thank you, Frankie." She
smiled and leaned into my shoulder with her head.
"You are very
welcome, Annie." I continued to
stroke her back with my fingers and leaned in to kiss the top of her head.
We sat like that
for a good long time. It felt so
natural for me to touch her, to comfort
her. There wasn't anything in this
world that would keep me from loving her too.
Except of course if she didn't want it, but that would be a discussion
for another time.
Chapter Fourteen
Darkness fell and
I feared my time with Annie was going to end soon. I just didn't know when I would be brought back to my own
time. I wasn't looking forward to
leaving Annie again. I needed to let
her know what was going on. I needed to
at least try to explain what was going on.
I approached her
as she was writing in her journal. She
looked up at me with those big green eyes and I saw nothing but hope in
them. God I felt like the biggest shit
in the world. Here I was promising her
that I wouldn't leave her and I didn't even belong in this time! She was so trusting and I wanted to be there
for her. I just didn't know if it was
going to happen. She just needed the
strength to stick up for herself.
Hopefully I can give her that
strength. Would she believe me if I
told her the truth? I just don't want
to leave again without her knowing why I had to leave. And would I be coming back? Here goes nothing.
"Annie, I
need to tell you something. It's going
to sound completely whacked and you are probably gonna throw me out of your
room. But I really think you need to
hear this." She closed her journal
with the pen holding her place. She
arched her back and cracked her vertebrae one disc at a time. I was completely transfixed watching this
sensual movement. I know she had no
idea what she was doing to me. I almost
forgot how to speak when she answered me.
"What is it,
Frankie? I won't throw you out. I'll just ask you to leave
politely." She smiled.
"I need to
talk with you about where I went when I left last time."
"Frankie, if
you can't tell me, I don't want to get you into trouble."
"Oh, Annie, you won't get me into trouble. I'm just afraid that you won't believe me and you'll think that I
am completely crazy." I said
honestly.
"What is it
then, Frankie. Just tell me."
"God I wish
it was that easy." I started to
pace back and forth.
Annie stood from
the bed and grabbed my forearms and looked me right in the eyes. "Just tell me, Frankie."
I swallowed
hard. "OK, maybe it would be
better if I waited."
Chicken shit.
"Whatever is
easier for you Frankie. I'll be here
when you want to talk about it."
"Just know this Annie. If I do
leave again, you HAVE to know that I will come back."
"What do you mean leave again.
Frankie you promised me you wouldn't do that."
"Annie, I have a home that I have to go back to. I have no choice but to go when I am told to do so. I have no options here. If I need to return home, then I have to
go. Just know that I'll be coming back
to you. Nothing could keep me away for
long." I said as I stroked her
cheek with the back of my knuckles.
I felt the war
within her. Part of her wanted to
flinch at my touch, where the other part was craving it. I of course was rooting for the latter team.
"Does that
still hurt?" I asked referring to
her bruised face.
"No, it just
looks like shit. It doesn't really hurt
that much at all. I just can't believe
he did this."
"Billy's gonna pay for doing this to you, Annie."
"NO, Frankie. That will just make
him angry again. I just want to forget
about all of this."
"Annie, if you don't do anything about him, he's gonna keep doing this or
he'll do it to someone else. Hell, he
may even kill whomever it is that he decides to beat next. Billy doesn't realize what he's doing is
wrong. He needs help. If no one calls him on it, it's never going
to change."
I could see the motor working inside her head.
She was waging war again. This
was one that may be the scariest decision she would have to make. It would mean telling the Police what Billy
had done to her. It would mean she
would have to tell someone what had happened to her. It would mean her humiliation would be public knowledge around
campus.
"Alright,
Frankie. I know that I have to tell
someone about this. No one saw him
though. Won't it be my word against
his?"
"Well, is there anything that you can give the police that could be
considered evidence?"
"Nothing comes to mind. I bet
Billy has my puke or blood on his shirt though. It really wasn't a pretty sight.
I don't think he would be smart enough to clean his clothes, he isn't
the cleanest of people."
"My
Romeo." I mumbled under my
breath. "Can I ask a question,
Annie?"
"If it starts out, 'Annie, what the hell did you see in him?' kind of
question, I can't answer that. He was
always nice to me. We saw each other at
parties and he was in one of my classes.
He dropped out though. He just
hangs out around campus because he has lots of friends around here." She explained. "If I had known that he was gonna beat the shit outta me,
trust me, I never would have gotten involved with him. It's just not something people advertise on
their sleeves." She said a little
harshly. I know I hit a nerve.
"Annie, I'm
sorry. I know you didn't know he was
like that. How could you know he would
act like that? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a joke about
it."
"It's
ok. I guess I was destined to live this
kind of life."
"No! No one should have to live
like that. You just need help trying to
get rid of him. That's where I come
in."
"My hero."
"If you want me to be your hero, that's what I'll be." I smirked my sassy grin at her. She smiled in return.
God she is beautiful.
"It's dark
out Annie. Do you think you would be up
for that walk now? If anyone saw you, I
doubt that they would be able to see your bruises."
"Sure. I wanna get something to
eat too. I'm really hungry. You know, I wanted to ask you something too
Frankie."
"What's that?"
"How did you
know how to find me? I don't remember
telling you where I lived."
"I asked around when I got back into town. I went to the diner and your friend Doris told me where you
were. Don't be angry, I can be
persuasive when I want to be."
"I'm not angry. I should thank
her. I feel better knowing that you are
OK."
"Me? You are the one that has
bruises on her face, and you were worried about me?" I couldn't believe she was saying this.
"Yeah, well,
what can I say? I tend to care more
about others than I do about myself."
"That, my dear, is the understatement of the year."
"Come on,
Frankie, let's get outta here."
She smiled and took my arm and led me out of the dorm room.
As the door closed
behind us I watched her walk towards the elevator. She had an unmistakable bounce to her step.
I'd like to think that I had something to
do with that. I really hope we don't
see Billy out and about. I may have to
kill him with my bare hands.
To Be Continued in
Part 8
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