DISCLAIMERS: No copyright infringement is intended by the use of titles, artist's names and/or lyrics of the songs contained herein. These have merely been used for entertainment value and possible storyline continuity. All the characters are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or deceased is purely coincidental.

WARNINGS:

Violence: This story contains scenes and/or references to physical, emotional and sexual violence.

Sex: It centers on an explicit sexual relationship between two women. It is intended for MATURE AUDIENCES. So if you're under age 18, this is illegal where you are or this just isn't your cup of tea, then you have been forewarned, please exit stage left. If you are mature enough and I've captured your attention, then moving right along here...

(Written 1993. Revised 2001)

        After walking in the side door and closing it behind me, I glanced up to see Anna waiting for me at the end of the hall. To my utter amazement and subsequent dismay, she was standing there, hands on hips, wearing nothing but a pair of black panties and a black jacket, nearly identical to the one I'd just left with Candy.

        "Well, it's 'bout time you got here, you little devil," she said, with a broad grin. "Your present seems to have beat you home."

        Beat me home, I thought. Had she had the same idea and bought this for me? I wondered.

        I dropped the clothes in my hands and hurried up the hall.

        She met me halfway. "I love it, Darby. It's beautiful," she said, hugging me.

        I was at a loss for words. She loved it. Wasn't this mine?

        "You're such a sneak. But, I love you for it." She hugged me tighter, then broke away. "So... how do I look?" She spread her arms wide.

        "You... you look... great," I stammered, not quite understanding what was going on.

        "You went a bit overboard on havin' it delivered, don't ya think? But... it was a surprise all right."

        "Delivered," I said, nearly under my breath, trying desperately to grasp all this.

        "Yeah. Seems they beat you home, though. But, that doesn't matter. Come on. I got... a little celebration planned for us. I was gonna wait until Wednesday, but... since you did this... Well, come on." She grabbed my hand. "I think I know how to thank you properly."

        I followed her up the hall, my mind reeling. The only thing I could think of was that Barbara had had a hand in this. It reeked of her. I was only glad that Anna did not know where it actually came from.

        She led me upstairs, where the covers were turned back on the bed, the blinds were closed, soft music was playing on the stereo and a bottle of champagne was sitting beside the bed in a small cooler.

        She let me take it all in, then said, "First things first, hmm?" She led me towards the bathroom.

        "Anna, are you sure you're up to this?" I asked. The mood had been ruined for me, since I knew I was taking credit for something I had not done.

        She stopped in the bathroom doorway. "Oh yeah, baby. This is long overdue, don't ya think?"

        "I... well, yeah, but... I wouldn't want to hurt..."

        She quickly covered my mouth with hers. I felt guilty from head to toe and yet how could I ruin her happiness?

        She took my hands, easing them upward between us and underneath the jacket, placing them on her breasts. "Don't... you want... me, baby?" she asked, around her kisses.

        "Yes... yes, I want you." That was all that needed to be said. I'd deal with the rest, later.

        I think we did it in every position we'd ever found pleasurable. I was lost to her, because she was at once sweet and tender and then forceful and aggressive. By the time we were finished, around two that morning, we were both ravenous, having skipped dinner. So, we went down to the kitchen and fixed ourselves a sandwich. When she began talking about how sweet it was of me to get her the jacket, I tried to change the subject. One time I suggested using mayonnaise and making a sandwich out of her.

        "That sounds... interestin'," she commented.

        So I ended up doing it, right there on the kitchen table. Needless to say, she made a tasty sandwich. And I didn't mind cleaning up my mess in the shower afterwards, either.

        We went to sleep content in each other's arms.

        The next morning, however, the guilt was back and hit me full force in the stomach, first thing. I could feel my guts tightening around themselves, as I thought about where the jacket had come from and how Anna would feel if she knew. I couldn't tell her now. I was locked into this. I'd have to play it out as best I could. I tried to tell myself that I could have easily chosen the black one for her. But, I hadn't. Either someone else had or it had been chosen for me.

        Anna got up and insisted on preparing breakfast for me. What could I say? I turned on the TV to drown out the chatter in my mind.

        Half an hour later, she was back with a tray, which I'd gotten her when she was laid up. Arranged on the plate were eggs, grits, toast and sausage. She knew how much I loved this, even though we rarely fixed it, since she didn't eat eggs and wasn't partial to sausage, either.

        She sat the tray down across my legs and fluffed up both pillows behind me. It seemed the reverse of when she had been laid up.

        "Umm... this looks good," I said, though my guts were still tight with guilt. I wasn't sure if I could eat or not.

        She picked up the napkin off the tray and spread it out across my lap. That's when I noticed what I assumed she had wanted me to see. It was a travel brochure. The name listed on the back was Gulf Shores.

        "What's this?" I asked, reaching for it.

        She grinned. "It's... not a lot. But... it might be fun."

        I opened the brochure. Gulf Shores was on the coast of Alabama. The picture portrayed white sandy beaches. "Is this supposed to mean what I think it means?"

        She nodded. "We've got a room for Thursday night. It's... all I could afford."

        "Oh, Anna. The beach!"

        "Yeah, baby. You said you'd never been to the ocean except for New Orleans, so..."

        I grabbed her around the neck, nearly tipping over the tray. She quickly caught it and put it down by the bed, then crawled over on top of me, at my urging.

        "I love you, Anna," I said, untying her robe. "I love you more than anything in this whole entire world."

        "I love you, too, Darby. You're my everything, baby. If I died right now... this minute, I'd leave this world one hell of a happy woman."

        The guilt stung my heart. God, I could never, ever tell her. And I had to find a way to take care of Barbara once and for all before she did something that would make Anna very unhappy.

        "I thought we'd go down early Thursday morning," she said, as we were getting dressed to go down to the club. "Because we'll need to be back here Friday evening in time for the show."

        I nodded. "Sounds good. You ever been there before?"

        "Once. It's not like the big Florida resorts. It was pretty quiet. I liked it." She paused. "I was by myself. Just needed a little time to think," she added, knowing that I would be wondering who she went with.

        "Good," I said, walking up behind her, as she put on her eyeliner. "I like it nice and quiet, so everyone can hear you screamin' my name."

        "Hold still a minute," she said, making the line underneath her right eye. "Okay." I cupped both naked breasts and kissed her neck. "Keep that up and we won't go in to work tonight."

        "Promises, promises," I teased, easing back.

        "Wait, cum'mere, don't go anywhere, I want to show you somethin'." She reached back and took hold of one of my hands. Then pulled it around her and directed it downward. "Feel anything diff'rent?"

        "It's soft... real soft," I commented, enjoying the silky texture. "What'd you do, hmm?"

        "I didn't do anything. Must have been your... sandwich idea, hmm?"

        We both chuckled. "Well seems like I should do that more often, huh?"

        "Yeah and maybe I need to make myself a sandwich now and again."

        That night I told Candy what had happened. I also told her to take the jacket back and swap it for her size, if she wanted to. She offered to pay me back. But, I wouldn't hear of it. She shouldn't pay me back what was not mine to begin with.

        Wednesday night before going to the club, we packed our bags. Thursday morning we got up early and made tracks to the coast. It was a beautiful autumn day and the trees were alive with color. Our conversation was cheerful and light.

        We arrived there a little after one and found our motel rather quickly. By two we were in the room looking off the balcony at the ocean.

        "Wanna go roll in the ocean now or later?" Anna inquired, as she put her arm around my waist.

        I quickly glanced around at her, feeling very exposed, even though there were very few people on the beach below.

        "Whatzamatta?" she questioned.

        "I feel... exposed."

        She chuckled. "Think whoever might see us will have us arrested?"

        "Well, no, but..."

        "Cum'mere."

        We got something to eat, then went for a walk on the beach. Anna was wearing the long, off-white, crocheted sweater, with a black midriff exercise top underneath, and a pair of jean cut offs. I had on cutoffs, as well and a black T-shirt, minus bra and shoes.

        We walked down to the beach and along the shoreline. It was my feet's first true encounter with white sand and salt water. And it felt wonderful; as did the cool breeze drifting off the ocean.

        We stayed close together, though not touching, ambling along at a slow pace in virtual silence. There seemed little to say, except perhaps to point out a pretty shell or some other form of Mother Nature's handiwork. The ageless, aqua lady herself was far too grand and overwhelming for words. Man may have learned how to ride upon her waves, but he had not yet been able to tame her. Our primordial home was much as it had always been, an entity unto itself. And I couldn't help but wonder if it would indeed outlast us.

        It had remained virtually unchanged, since the time of those ancient giant beasts who had come before us and ruled their domain much longer that we ourselves had. Yet, we humans, with our opposing thumbs and superior mental abilities had changed things dramatically. And now stood at the threshold of disaster, with the potential to ruin it all with the push of a button. How such a lowly being, born so vulnerable into that ancient primordial world, could survive to become the master and perhaps ultimate destroyer of his own domain, was beyond me.

        Was it true that we were given, by God, dominion over the creatures that inhabited this earth? Or was that merely man's arrogance? Surely any God who knew our ultimate potential would not put this paradise, of which it had once been, into the hands of such a manipulative, selfish and destructive creature. For, in his omnipotence he surely would have known that such a fool would eventually bring about his own destruction, as well as that of those around him.

        "Penny for your thoughts," she said, touching my arm.

        "Nickel for a kiss. Dime if you tell me that you love me," I sang, softly.

        She glanced up at me and frowned. "I don't remember that one."

        "It wasn't a big hit. I just remember that one line. I listened to the radio a lot as a kid. TV was broke quite often."

        "Got a nickel?" she asked.

        We both chuckled.

        I wanted to pull her to me, but was too afraid. I wanted to put my arm around her, but knew I couldn't do that, either. I sighed heavily.

        "Yeah, I know," she said, staring out at the blue green water.

        "Know what?"

        "That it's frustratin' as hell not being considered quote normal. Can't do normal things in public." She kicked at the sand. "Well... fuck 'em," she added, reaching over and taking my hand, lacing her fingers with mine.

        I felt exposed BIG TIME. "Anna, we shouldn't, people will..."

        "I don't care what people say, Darby. It's not as if we're walkin' 'round naked. We're just holdin' hands." She tightened her grip. "Screw'em. It's their problem not ours."

        "But..."

        "What are they gonna do, Darby, arrest us? Relax."

        I glanced around us, seeing the people up ahead that we would soon pass on our quest towards our initial destination, which was a long pier jutting out in the blue green water. It wasn't easy to relax, knowing how those people would most likely feel and imagining the snide remarks they might make.

        "Look, baby... a sand dollar!" she announced, stopping abruptly. "A whole one!" she added, excitedly staring down in the water.

        A wave came in and she waited a moment, then bent over very quickly, reaching down in the water. I just knew she had missed it, but she came up with it in the palm of her hand, whole and intact. It wasn't very big, but that didn't matter. The timing was perfect and the way it happened was even more so.

        "See, mother nature doesn't care," she said. "She offered us a gift."

        I felt as if she had been reading my thoughts back there. "Our... own personal souvenir, hmm?"

        "Yep." She smiled and gently closed her hand around it, as if it were something sacred.

        We continued down the shoreline with Anna holding the sand dollar in one hand and mine in the other. She was afraid to put the fragile shell like creature in her pocket, for fear it would break apart. We ambled along the edge, for the remainder of our journey, looking closely, just in case Mother Nature, or whoever, decided to offer up another one.

        We passed several people along the way; some of whom took many quick glances in our direction, but didn't utter a word, to my knowledge. One chap, however, a young blonde male, did a 180-degree turn, watching us. It was as if he could not believe his eyes. And I was sure that if I had seen two women walking hand in hand I would be tempted to gawk, as well.

        We finally reached our destination, but instead of going up on the pier, where several people, including children were fishing, Anna suggested that we go underneath. Once there, she led me between two large pilings, spaced little more than three feet apart, and backed me up against one. She glanced around us, though we were virtually hidden from view on either side. Then she put her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was naughty and decadent and... wonderful. I pulled her closer, reveling in the excitement and romance of the moment.

        "I love you, Darby," she said, easing back and gazing into my eyes.

        "I love you, too, Anna. Especially for this; it's... peaceful, lovely and... very seductive."

        "I know," she said, slyly, then pressed her lips to mine.

        There came a giggling sound from above and we broke apart, glancing up. Two pairs of small eyes were staring down at us from the spaces in the boards above. Neither one of us had even thought to check up there. Anna put her hand behind my hand and pulled me to her for another kiss, seemingly for good measure. Then we started back.

        Before we reached the motel, the sun was sinking low on the horizon. Anna requested that we stay and watch. We moved away from the water and back up on the sand.

        I sat down, intending to wrap my arms around my knees and she knelt in front of me.

        "Move your legs," she said, pushing them apart. She then turned around and sat down between them. She put the sand dollar on the sand in front of her and reached back, pulling my arms around her.

        "Anna, we shouldn't..."

        "Hush, Darby. I love you and I don't give a flyin' shit who knows it. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna live my life to suit other people. Fuck'em, if they don't like it. We ain't doin' nothin' wrong." She leaned back against me, resting her head against my shoulder. "Isn't it beautiful?" she asked, changing the subject to the sunset.

        "Yeah, it is. And... so are you, Anna."

        We sat there, watching the sky turn pink, orange, crimson, and finally a burnt orange, as the sun sank below the horizon. In that time, we saw a dolphin patrolling along the shore, a crab run in and out of his house in the sand umpteen dozen times, while two pelicans dined on the ocean's delicacies. Three couples also passed us. None of them gave us more than a precursory glance. I assumed it was hard to tell my gender since she was sitting in front of me.

        When we reached the motel, I let go of Anna's hand. "I wish you wouldn't be so damn antsy," she said.

        "Well, I do care what people think. I... don't like people being cruel to me and... starin' at me."

        "One day, sweetie, when we're older, maybe you won't have to worry about things like that. People like us will be a more common sight than even interracial couples."

        We were on our way out to the truck, going out for dinner, when I noticed something white on the windshield. It looked like a napkin. My heart jumped up in my throat. Had someone followed us here? Anna must have noticed, it as well, for she quickened her pace and snatched it off the windshield. She quickly looked it over then seemed to relax.

        "Advertisement from the restaurant across the street," she explained and then held it up so I could see it.

        "The Fishing Net. The finest seafood fresh from the Gulf," it read.

        I breathed a sigh of relief. She gave a chuckle as she crumpled it up. "Wanna walk?" she inquired, motioning towards the restaurant.

        I debated this. "What the hell."

        After a fine dinner of shrimp at the Fishing Net, we returned to the motel and eventually, the beach. Anna wanted to walk in the moonlight. "Maybe you won't be so antsy in the dark, hmm?"

        The moon was a few days away from being full, but still it was beautiful, shimmering on the black water. She held my hand, as we walked in silence for a while.

        "Hold me," she said, softly, leaning against my arm and slipping hers around my waist.

        I obliged by putting mine around her shoulder. She was right I didn't feel near as antsy now. No one could tell until they got right up on me, what gender I was.

        "I like this," she commented, snuggling close to my face. "Ya know, I've... been thinkin' about somethin' here lately and... well, I need your opinion," she added.

        "Okay, shoot."

        "What would you say if I told ya...? She paused for quite a while.

        "Told me what?" I prodded.

        She slowed down, then stopped and turned towards me, wrapping both arms around my waist. "I... Darby, I wanna marry you," she said, very quickly, then laid her head on my shoulder. "If you don't want to anymore... I'll understand. You won't hurt my feelings."

        I was so shocked I couldn't think of a thing to say. Was I supposed to say yes, I'll marry you or was I supposed to ask her now? Instead I said, "When's the wedding?"

        She squeezed me tightly. "I don't know. One weekend we'll just sneak away and... do it."

        "Where?"

        "I don't know that either," she said, raising up to face me. "I thought you did."

        "No, I just heard about people doing it. There was one held in Texas, I think, but... that could cost some money to get someone to perform a ceremony, couldn't it?"

        She shrugged and then a smile began to spread across her face. "I got the perfect idea. Since it ain't legal anyway, then we'll have a mock ceremony, hmm? I mean, that part isn't what's truly important anyway, it's... what we feel for one another that really matters, right?"

        I nodded. "I think the ceremony is just a way to let others know how you feel."

        She nodded agreement. "We could either have it at the house or the club, whichever you prefer. And... Tiny could perform the ceremony. He's got a good speakin' voice, when he puts his mind to it. Candy can be my maid of honor..."

        "And Rick could be my best man," I added, excitedly. "That is if... they'd go for this sorta thing."

        "Why not? They all know about us and... it's fine with them, right? Whatever makes us happy, ya know."

        "Yeah... yeah, you're right. But... there's only one problem."

        "What's that?"

        "I'm getting cold feet, already," I whispered. "You may have to catch me and drag me to the... altar."

        "Me? Catch you? No problem."

        "Oh yeah. You think you can catch me so easily?"

        "I'll do better than that," she said, breaking away from me. "I'll...out... run... you," she added, poking her finger to my chest with each enunciated word, as she moved farther away. Then suddenly she turned and took off.

        "Anna, damn you." I took off after her.

        She was fast. I had underestimated her, since we'd never really had an all out foot race before. Ours were usually in the house and I caught up with her on the stairs, taking them two at a time to her one.

        I finally caught up with her and reached out to grab hold of her. She squealed and sidestepped, dodging my outstretched hand. Our foot race had now turned into a game of tag. She dodged and wheeled, then sprinted off and dodged some more until we found ourselves knee deep in the ocean.

        "I gotcha now," I trumpeted.

        "Come and get me," she taunted.

        I lunged for her and missed, as she wheeled to one side. She was hit by a wave in the back of the legs that almost wiped her out. She recovered and I was hot on her trail. The bout with the wave seemed to have taken something out of her, for I caught her from behind, this time and pulled her into my arms.

        "Now, I really got..." The undercurrent suddenly snatched my feet out from under me and we both went down.

        She got up spurting salt water and laughing at me. "Yeah, you got it alright."

        "Damn you," I said, getting up and reaching out for her.

        She backpedaled away and I scrambled after her. I caught hold of her leg a moment later and it came out from under her easily. She was once again in the water.

        I scrambled towards her, as she sat up. "Now I really do have you. And I'm not gonna let you go." I crawled over and kissed her.

        She wrapped her arms around my neck, as a wave hit us, nearly knocking us over. She squealed with delight. Then turned and scrambled to her feet. I followed behind her.

        When she reached the shore, she went down on her knees, then turned and sat down on one hip. I joined her a second later. We both were breathing heavily. The sound reminded me of the first night I'd spent in her bed. I reached out and touched her face, pushing the wet hair back. Then I leaned over and kissed her. She eased down in the sand, taking me with her.

        "No, Anna," I protested, when she tried to pull my T-shirt off.

        "Yes, Darby. There's no one else out here."

        "But, sweetheart, this a public place."

        "So?"

        "So..."

        "Please, baby. Don't spoil the moment. Lie naked with me in the sand, hmm?"

        "You like livin' dangerously, don'cha?"

        "This ain't dangerous, this is just... romantic as hell."

        She pulled the shirt up and over my head, then sat up and pulled both her sweater and top off. She pulled me down on top of her. I had to admit there was something very erotic about being out in the open.

        She had me out of my shorts in no time. Then we rolled around on the shore, kissing, touching and getting so turned on I couldn't wait to get back to the room.

        The next morning I awoke to Anna saying, "Happy Anniversary, baby. This is the first of many, I hope."

        "Won't be so easy to get rid of me, if you marry me."

        She smiled. "That works both ways, ya know."

        We were back home by seven that day and took a shower together before going to the club. Anna wore her new jacket, which she was very much enamored with. Yet every time I looked at it, it only served to remind me of something and someone unpleasant.

        I had on one of Phil's outfits. This one was a short-waisted, low cut, burgundy corduroy jacket and slacks, which fit me like a glove. Anna loved it. It appeared she'd seldom seen Phil in street clothes. Or at least she hadn't taken much notice.

        I waited tables until our set and was both relieved and disappointed not to see Barbara in the audience. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and yet I also wanted her to go away.

        Between sets, I went back out on the floor. Many more seemed to be catching on that I was the mystery woman. Yet, few were saying a whole lot. I could see the recognition in their eyes, though. It seemed that they knew, but didn't want to know. I was like Clark Kent without his Superman suit: invisible.

        "Darby," one of the waitresses named Sissy called out. I made my way over to her. "I got a table over there in the corner wants you to wait on them. Won't even give me their order."

        "Why not?"

        She shrugged.

        The place was jam packed for the second set. There were even men who had wandered over from Dora's standing up between tables. I made my way through them to get to the corner table. As soon as I caught sight of its occupants I knew what was going on. My anger began heating up, immediately.

        I walked over and set my tray down on the table. Her companion was different this time. Another woman. And a real looker, at that. Yet, I ignored her.

        "Hello Barbara," I said, addressing her. "Wanna tell me what the fuck's goin' on, hmm? Why the hell you sent that to my house?"

        "You didn't like it?" she asked, while staring at her companion.

        "Hell no. I don't like the way you're tryin' to manipulate me. I have told you once and I'll tell you again." I glanced over at her companion and decided to choose my words carefully. "It ain't gonna happen, so... lay off!"

        She slowly looked up at me. "I beg to differ with you."

        "Go ahead. It ain't gonna change a goddamn thing."

        She stared at her friend.

        "Now, since you... requested me, what can I get you to drink?" I glanced between the two.

        Her auburn haired companion in the red blouse and black slacks stared at me.

        "She'll have a Vodka Collins," Barbara answered. "And I'll have a Bourbon on the rocks."

        "Fine." I picked up the tray.

        "But, I'll have you, too. Mark my words," she called out.

        I started to turn around, but decided against it. I'd let her have another piece of my mind when I came back.

        When I returned with their drinks, I marched over to her table and calmly sat their drinks down in front of them. "Nine seventy five, please."

        I saw the folded bill in her hand and backed up a step to prevent a repeat performance. She glanced up at me.

        "That outfit looks familiar. I'm sure I've seen it... in my bedroom before. And I'm sure it will be again." She tossed the bill onto the tray.

        "Listen, bitch!" I growled. "For the third damn time, I am not now, nor will I ever be, interested in your proposition. Do I make myself clear here?"

        She glared at me.

        "Stay the fuck outta my life," I added for good measure.

        "My, you have a foul mouth," she said, looking away. "But, what can one expect when you're living with such... low life trash."

        I felt my face flush with anger. "Ain't that the pot callin' the kettle black?"

        She turned and glared at me. "I'm not a whore. I don't go around spreadin' my legs for every Tom, Dick and Harry. Your lover's nothing but a common slut and always has been."

        I lost it. I reached over, grabbed her drink and tossed it in her face. The chair shot backwards and she came up out of it, so fast, I didn't have time to react. She grabbed me by the collar of my jacket then jerked me closer to her. Her brown eyes were black as coal and there was bourbon still trickling down her cheeks.

        "Damn you," she hissed, then laid one on me.

        I was so caught off guard I couldn't get a rational thought to come to mind. She nipped my bottom lip with her teeth, before letting go. I stumbled backwards and nearly fell over the chair beside me, before regaining my balance.

        "Shit fire, man, did you see that?" A male voice rang out.

        "Kissed the bitch," another said.

        "Who kissed who?"

        "What happened?"

        Soon all around us people were talking and murmuring. I wanted to slug her, but instead grabbed the tray and took off. My lip was hurting and so was my pride. I stopped at the bar to give Tiny the tray with the money, then took off for the bathroom. I knew the coppery taste of blood time it hit my tongue.

        I looked in the mirror, to find my senses had not been wrong. My bottom lip was bleeding. I ran some water in the palm of my hand, then raised it to my lips. It stung like crazy. Then I glanced up at my reflection again. She'd nipped me good and it showed. I'd let things get all out of hand and now Anna would know all about everything for sure.

        When Anna saw my lip and I confessed to what had transpired, she hit the ceiling. I tried to keep her from going out there, but she was too determined.

        I heard later, that she never gave Barbara any warning whatsoever. She merely "stormed up to the table, hauled off and punched her right in the face, knocking her right out of her chair". Barbara's companion I was told, made a move towards Anna and she "hauled off and knocked hell outta her", as well. I only knew that when she came back, her knuckles were red and she was flexing her hand as if it hurt.

        "Now, we do the set," she ordered. "And afterwards, you tell me exactly what the hell is going on between you and her. And I mean fuckin' everything."

        Although I was flattered that she'd punched Barbara out, this was the catalyst that set off a disastrous chain of events.

Continued in Chapter 17