VIOLENCE: NAH

SEX: ONLY SUGGESTED, USE YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MINDS, AFTER ALL THEY ARE A TERRIB;E THING TO WASTE!

HERE’S THE PARTS I LIKE, IF YOU ARE NOT 18 FAKE ID’S ARE CHEAP, IF THIS KIND OF STORY IS OUTLAWED IN YOUR STATE MOVE TO MINE, WV, EVEN INCEST IS LEGAL HERE IF IT WASN’T THE POPULATION WOULD BE VEEEERRRRY SMALL! AND NO I WASN’T BORN HERE! SO WE ARE NOT THAT KIND OF CLOSE FAMILY! ANY COMPLAINTS, BELLY ACHING, WHINNING, SARCASIM, UFO SIGHTINGS, EPONIN SIGHTINGS, PARANORMAL EXPERIANCES, STRANGE ANIMAL ACTS, SPARE CHANGE OR ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE E-MAIL HECATE3366@AOL.COM SHE HAS NO LIFE AND IS OFTEN BORED SILLY. THANKS LARISA

"DID NOT!"

"DID TO!"

"DID NOT!"

"THATS IT, YOUR GONNA PAY!" TWO WOMEN WERE ROLLING AROUND ON THE GROUND, GRUNTS AND GROANS COMING FROM THEM AS THEY MOVED INTO WRESTLING HOLDS, FLINGING EACH OTHER ALL OVER THE PLACE, THEY LOOKED LIKE TWO PRETZELS ALL TWISTED TOGETHER.

"I SEEN YA!"

"DID NOT!"

THE OTHER TWO STOOD AND WATCHED, ONE WITH HOODED EYES, THE OTHER INDIFFERENT. "XE, DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD BREAK THEM UP BEFORE ONE OF THEM GETS HURT?"

"NAH, I’M KINDA ENJOYING THIS, IT’S BETTER THAN GOING TO THE COLISEUM AND WATCHING THE GLADIATORS. OWWW THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!"

"XEEE, YA GOTTA DO SOMETHING, LOOK THEIR TURNING PURPLE!"

XENA GRINNED AT HER LOVER. "LOOKS KINDA GOOD ON THEM DON’T YA THINK?" BREI STANDING IN THAT STUBBORN STANCE WITH HER HANDS ON HER HIPS, TAPPING ONE FOOT, RAISES AN EYEBROW, GLARING AT HER LOVER A LOW GROWL VIBRATED IN HER THROAT. XE FLINCHED, SHE KNEW BRIE’S TEMPER HAD GROWN SHORT ON THEIR NEWEST JOURNEY. THE WEATHER SUCKED, IF THEY WERE NOT WET THEY WERE FREEZING THEN THEY WERE WET AND FREEZING. "OOOHH ALRIGHT, BUT I’M ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME!" BRIE FLASHED ONE OF HER MOST BRILLANT SMILES. XE STARTED PULLING ON ARMS AND LEGS TRYING TO UNTANGLE THE THE HUMAN PRETZEL. "I WISH YOU TWO FEATHER HEADS WOULD GROW UP, NOW STOP IT BEFORE I DO THE PINCH!" STANDING BETWEEN THE TWO HEAVING AMAZONS SHE FELT LIKE A REFEREE. HANDS HELD OUT FROM HER SIDES SHE BLOCKED THEM FROM GETTING TO EACH OTHER. "GIVE HER THE PINCH." POINTING AT THE OTHER ONE. "SHE DESERVES IT!" XE THREW HER HEAD BACK AND GROANED AS MORE THREATS WENT BETWEEN THE TWO CHILDREN. "YOU SHOULD GET THE PINCH AFTER WHAT YOU DID!"

"BUT EPH, I DIDN’T DO NOTHIN!"

"OOHHH SO THAT WASN’T YOU WAGGING YOUR TONGUE AT THAT THAT, I CAN’T EVEN COME UP WITH A NAME FOR WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE!!!"

STAYING AT A SAFE DISTANCE A WORD ESCAPED BRIE’S LIPS.

"SLAGGY BITCH!" {SLAG IS COCKNEY FOR WHORE}

PONI AND XE GAVE BRIE GLARES, SENDING A GRIN BACK AND A SOFTLY SPOKEN SORRY, SHE COVERED HER MOUTH TO KEEP FROM LAUGHING.

"THATS IT A SLAGGY BITCH, YOU WAGGED YOUR TONGUE AT A SLAGGY BITCH!" EPH YELLED.

"I..I...I OH HADES HAIRY BALLS EPH, I COULDN’T RESIST, DID YA SEE HER TITS, THEY WERE." HOLDING HER HANDS OUT SHE JIGGLED THEM AN ELBOWS LENGTH AWAY. "HUGE AND LOOKED SOO SOFT AND.." PONI’S EYES GREW LARGE AT A FEROCIOUS FLYING EPH, DUCKING BEHIND XENA DIDN’T HELP WHEN EPH LANDED ON THE WARRIORS SHOULDER AND WAS ABLE TO LEAN OVER AND GRAB PONI’S EAR WITH A DEATH GRIP. "OWOWOWOW. LET GO MY EAR!"

BREATHING HEAVEY WITH THE WEIGHT OF A STRUGGLING AMAZON ON HER SHOULDER XE SPUN HER HEAD TO BRIE. "OH QUEENIE COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A HAND HERE!" BRIE CRADDLING HER STAFF IN THE CROOCK OF HER ELBOW STARTED CLAPPING. "JUGGLING AMAZONS, YOU DO HAVE MANY SKILLS!"

"GABRIEEEELLLE!!!!!!"

BRIE PRIED EPH’S FINGERS FROM PONI’S EAR WHILE A STRUGGLING XE CARRIED EPH AWAY. "OK EPH, WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH YOU TWO ANYWAY?"

PUTTING HER DOWN A GOOD DISTANCE AWAY, XENA LOOKED DOWN ON THE RED FACED REGENT. "SHE...WE...."COVERING HER FACE WITH HER HANDS SHE GROANED. "ALRIGHT IT’S BEEN AWHILE...WE HAVN’T YOU KNOW!"

CHUCKLING XE PUT HER HAND ON HER SHOULDER AND TURNED THEM DOWN THE ROAD. "IS THAT ALL IT IS?" EPH STOPPED DEAD IN HER TRACKS. "XE! I’M GOING NUTS HERE AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS THAT! SHE HASN’T TOUCHED ME IN OVER A WEEK!"

"EPH TRY 3YRS!" THE REGENT SCOWLED AT HER. "OK, I GOT AN IDEA, BUT IT’LL HAVE TA WAIT TIL WE GET TO THE VILLAGE, I NEED TO GET SOME STUFF FIRST."

PONI WAS RUBBING HER RED ACHING EAR WHILE BRIE SLOWLY WALKED BESIDE HER. "PONI, WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU, I THOUGHT YOU TO WERE YOU KNOW HAPPY?"

"OH WE WAS, BUT I DON’T KNOW, IT’S LIKE BORING NOW, WE GO TA THE HUT, WE DO IT, THEN WE SLEEP, SAME OLD THING!"

"HHMM, I SEE YOUR POINT, LET ME THINK A MINUTE, I HAVE AN IDEA BUT I WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET TO THE VILLAGE."

ONCE IN THE VILLAGE THE TWO PAIRS WENT IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, OF COURSE BRIE HEADED FOR THE NEAREST FOOD STAND WITH POOR PONI BEING DRAGGED BEHIND AS ENTHUSED AS XENA WOULD BE. WHILE XENA AND EPH HEADED FOR AN HERBALIST. XENA WAS WHISPERING TO THE OLD LADY WHILE EPH WAS AT A WEAPON STAND NEAR BY, AFTER PAYING FOR A NEW IVORY HANDLED DAGGER SHE WENT BACK AND JOINED XENA WHO WAS STUFFING A SMALL LEATHER BAG IN HER BELT. BRIE WAS STUFFING A SMALL PACKAGE IN HER BAG AS SHE DRAGGED A GROANING PONI BY HER HAND.

"I JUST LOVE MARKETS THERE’S SO MUCH TO LOOK AT, OHH LOOK AT THAT PONI." PONI ROLLED HER EYES, MUMBLING UNDER HER BREATH. "DAMN FEMMES!" BRIE TURNED TO HER. "EXCUSE ME!" A STARTLED PONI GRINNED. "OH I SAID DAMN...GEMS, YEP THEY SURE ARE..."LOOKING AT THE LARGE BREASTED PROPRIETER WITH OGGLING EYES. "NICE AND BIG AND I JUST WANT TO SUCK ON THEM ALL NIGHT, YEEESSS INDEDE!" THIS CAUGHT BRIE’S ATTENTION FOLLOWING PONI’S EYES. "OOHH FOR THE LOVE OF GODS!" GRABBING PONI’S GOOD EAR BRIE DRAGGED HER AWAY INTENT ON FINDING XENA AND EPH. THEY CAME TO THE ONLY INN, AND KNOWING HER WARRIOR SHE WOULD BE IN THERE CRITIGUING THE ESTABLISHMENTS PORT. SURE ENOUGH THERE SHE WAS WITH EPH AT THE BACK TABLE, WITH AN ALL READY FULL TABLE TOP OF EMPTY MUGS. STILL DRAGGING POOR PONI BY HER EAR, WHO HAD GIVEN UP ON COMPLAINING TO DEAF BARD EARS STUMBLED ALONG BEHIND.

"XENA!" THE LOOK ON HER BARDS FACE COULD SCARE MEDUSA. "NOW HONEY, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, HONEST, WOULD I LIE TO YOU?"

A DEVILISHLY GRINNING EPH WINKED AT XE, SLURRING HER WORDS SHE RAN A FINGER UP XE’S ARM. "YOU CANZ LIES WIFS ME TALLS, DARKS AND BOOTY!" SLAPPING EPHS HAND AWAY SHE SCOOTED HER CHAIR AWAY TO BE FOLLOWED BY THE AMOUROUS FEATHERHEAD. "WOULD YA HELP ME OUT HER QUEENIE, BEFORE I HAVE TA, YA KNOW?" SHE WIGGLED HER FINGERS AT BRIE, THEN JABBED THE AIR. "I’VE HAD ONE!" WHICH GOT HER A LOOK FROM HER BARD. "OK TWO, BUT THATS ALL, IT’S THE LUSH HERE WITH THE GROPPING HANDS!" WHICH GOT SLAPPED AGAIN.

"I BELIEVE YOU XE, AHH CAN I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE, OVER THERE?" BREI POINTED TO THE BAR THEN WALKED OVER TO BE FOLLOWED BY XE AFTER SHE SLAPPED EPH’S HANDS FROM UNDER SKIRT. ALL THIS WAS LOST ON PONI, SHE HAD HER EYES ON EVERY WOMAN EXCEPT HER LOVER, BOTH OF THEM NEEDED BIBS FOR ALL THE DROOLLING THEY WERE DOING.

"XE, NOW I’VE BEEN AROUND EPH WHEN SHE’S BEEN DRUNK, AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER ACT LIKE THAT BEFORE. AND I KNOW YOU, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER OR SHOULD I SAY WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER?"

"JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING IN HER TEA."

"DID YOU SAY TEA? BUT SHE’S ACTING DRUNK, I DON’T UNDERSTAND?"

"WELL AFTER THE FIRST TWO MUGS OFF KAVA KAVA TEA, I SWITCHED HER OVER TO ALE." SHRUGGING. "IT INTENSIFIES THE HERB."

"THATS FUNNY, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

"SIMPLE, WE LOCK THEM IN THEIR ROOM AND DON’T LET THEM OUT. PONI WILL HAVE TO GIVE SOME, DAMN SHOULDA GIVIN SOME TO HER TO!"

"OOHH I ALMOST FORGOT." PULLING THE PACKAGE OUT OF HER BAG, SHE SHOWED XENA THE BROWNIES. XENA STARTED TO REACH FOR ONE ONLY TO HAVE HER HAND SLAPPED. "AH AH AHH, THESE MY WARRIOR, ARE *SPECIAL BROWNIES*." WINKING AT XE WHO GAVE HER THE EYEBROW. "JUST FOR PONI, SHE HAS A SWEET TOOTH AS BAD AS YOURS."

"YA LOST ME BRIE!"

"SPECIAL, AS IN SPECIAL INGREDIENTS, REMEMBER MY EXPERIANCE WITH THE BROWNIES, AND HOW HORNY I GOT, THAT EVEN OUR LITTLE FERRYMAN CHARON WAS BEGINNING TO LOOKGOOD!

"OH I GET IT, LETS DO IT, YOU GRAB PONI AND EPH WILL GRAB ME!"

THAT LAST PART DID NOT SETTLE TO WELL WITH BRIE, BUT WHAT THE HELL. SPINNING PONI AROUND TO FACE HER SHE HAD NO TROUBLE STUFFING A BROWNIE IN HER MOUTH SINCE IT WAS HANGING OPEN ALREADY. SHOWING HER THE BROWNIES SHE TEASED HER LIKE A MULE WITH A CARROT ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS WHERE THEY WAITED FOR THE OTHER TWO TO JOIN THEM. XE WALKED OVER TO EPH WHO WAS WAGGING HER TONGUE AT HER, FLIPPING UP HER SKIRT SHOWING LEATHER TREWS SHE RAN UP THE STAIRS, DOWN THE HALL AND INTO THE LAST ROOM WITH A DROOLING REGENT BEHIND HER, BRIE PULLED PONI WITH HER AND ONCE NEAR THE ROOM SHE TOSSED THE BROWNIES IN THEN PONI AFTER THEM. XE SLAMMED THE DOOR AND BARRED IT WITH HER BODY.

WITHIN MINUTES LOUD BANGS COULD BE HEARD COMING FROM THE ROOM, A WORRIED LOOK ON BRIE’S FACE MADE XE CROSS HER ARMS OVER HER CHEST AND LEAN AGAINST THE DOOR BLOCKING IT. RAISING ONE HAND SHE STARTED TICKING OFF FINGERS ONE AT A TIME, WHEN SHE GOT 3 FINGERS IN THE AIR A LOPSIDED GRIN COVERED HER FACE AS SHE HEARD SCREAMS AND LAUGHING COMING FROM INSIDE THE ROOM. "OOOHHHH POOONNNIII!!! DO THAT AGAIN!!!" MORE BANGING "THEIR SOOO HUGE EPHIE!!!" MOVING FROM THE DOOR XE WALKED SLOWLY TOWARDS BRIE, HER EYES SMOLDERED WHEN SHE GAVE BRIE THE ONCE OVER. "SOOO QUEENIE GOT ANYMORE OF THOSE BROWNIES?" BRIE WAS BACKED UP AGAINST A DOOR "NOW XE, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL THE NEXT MORNING AFTER I EAT THOSE." PRESSING HER UP CLOSE TO THE DOOR XE GROUND HER HIPS INTO BRIE BRINGING A MOAN FROM HER PARTED LIPS WHICH WERE QUICKLY COVERED, FEELING A WARM TONGUE INVADE HER MOUTH AND DEEPEN SHE FELT HER KNEES GO WEAK. "I DIDN’T SAY THEY WERE FOR US MY BARD, BUT I DON’T INTEND ON LEAVING OUR ROOM FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS!" REACHING INSIDE HER BAG SHE PULLED OUT ANOTHER PACKAGE OF BROWNIES AND TOSSED IT IN FRONT OF THE FEATHERHEADS DOOR. PICKING HER BARD UP XE CARRIED HER THROUGH THE DOOR, KICKING IT SHUT BEHIND THEM. "IT’S OUR TURN QUEENIE!"

A PATRON CAME DOWN THE HALL SEEING THE PACKAGE BY THE DOOR HE STOOPED OVER TO PICK IT UP JUST AS HIS FINGERS GOT NEAR WAR CRIES WERE HEARD AND THE UNMISTAKABLE YELL OF XENA. HE THOUGHT BETTER OF STEALING THE PACKAGE AFTER THAT.

TO BE CONTINUED.

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