There’s a lot of talk about Gabrielle

Becoming a warrior and fighting so well,

And it’s not that I grudge her her well-deserved fame;

I just wish sometimes that she’d mention my name

When she writes in her scrolls and does the bard thing

And touts Xena’s exploits with zest and with zing.

Now they’re both quite well-known in this world that we roam

And I travel beside them; the road is our home.

I help all I can to make us successful

And hope what I do isn’t reckless or stressful.

But if I were a bard and could tell my own story

I’d chronicle my part in X and G’s glory.

In "Sins of the Past" I was Xena’s sole friend

I carried her safely ‘cross meadows and fens

Then we met Gabrielle, who became a new ally;

She was too scared to ride me—she thought I was too high.

It took quite a while for her courage to grow;

She’d walk close beside us wherever we’d go.

Then when Xena was dying in "The Greater Good",

Gabrielle dressed in armor and showed that she could

Both ride me and prove that a team we could be

Though the story almost ended in tragedy.

But I knew Xena lived and so I stood firm

And kept her from being torn limb from limb.

In "Intimate Stranger" there was something amiss, though

It took me a while to see it was Callisto.

I tried to warn Gab, but it wasn’t in time

And Callisto—in Xena’s form—committed the crime

Of trying to kill me! But I was too tough.

(Of course, Xena helped with that healing stuff.)

"The Quest" was another time I was confused-

Was Xena dead? Or was it a ruse?

I deduced that Autolycus really was she

Before Gabrielle and the Amazons could see.

I came at "her" whistle and helped her to steal

Her body so she could again become real.

"A Day in the Life" was an interesting ride.

A giant! A warlord! And no place to hide.

I had to put up with a grooming from Hower

And hear him comparing Xena to a flower.

And Gab acted out her favorite scroll

For me, though she never did finish (lol!)

"Been There, Done That" might have been fatal

For me, Gab and Joxer, though Xena was able

To figure out how and why things were so skewed

And fix things by stopping a senseless feud,

Uniting a couple who despaired of tomorrow,

And reversing a spell and dispelling their sorrow.

It looked very dark for us when Persians attacked

And Gab took a poisonous arrow in the back.

I was stunned when they both chose to make a last stand

And told me to run just as far as I can.

I never told Xena, but I didn’t go far

I knew they’d survive, and I was right! Here they are.

One time I was angry and feeling so miffed

That I copied Season Three and started a rift.

I left Xena for apples, I know it sounds strange

But she’d left me forever, out there on the range!

I finally forgave her and came to my senses

We were happy again and mended our fences.

Then along came Revenica, whose habits were gruesome

She would cut horses’ tendons, she didn’t just bruise ‘em!

She tried it on me, and I had to think quick

I stopped her with one very well-placed kick.

This caused a few problems for Xena and her friends

But I still maintain, it was self-defense!

Now we’ve moved along into Season Five

Our adventures keep coming and so I strive

To remember the standards of Seasons past.

(I have a new friend now; I hope he will last.)

So together we’ll march, though our paths be adverse

Through the danger and excitement of the Argoverse!