A Crown of Laurel

A CROWN OF LAUREL

DISCLAIMERS:

MCA/UNIVERSAL/RENAISSANCE owns Xena, Gabrielle, and Argo (poor baby needs a better agent, she s getting paid only in apples and oats) and others from X:WP. All others are a possible hazardous byproduct of the icky gray stuff that is stuck inside the boney thingy on my shoulders.

This story is written without wanting to infringe on the above companies rights. (If I do they'd sic the "Amazon Collection Agency" or ACA on me, and they always get their prey.) This story is also non-profit and any reproduction or use of this story without my permission will make me call the ACA on your bootie.

Violence is present in this story, and some of it is very graphic. This is Xena after all. If you don't approve please just read something you find more appropriate.

Oh gods...that gray stuff is bubbling outta my ears again, perhaps I should just get on with the story before it's all gone?

Part One

Callisto materialized herself along the stone bench, stretching out lazily with a grace that belied but also accentuated her deadly abilities. She gazed out into the room beyond, vastly amused with herself.

"...Send Kordrith. The troops will respect him but not love him enough to cause me internal problems. I won't have to worry about disloyalty and the job will get done. I'm tired of the discontent in that province!" The tall dark-haired man looked at his advisors and generals, momentarily distracted by their attention being held elsewhere behind him. "What are you fools looking...", he started to say as he turned, noticing someone lying on his throne.

It was at that moment the generals and the guards snapped back to attention and their duty, drawing their swords to protect their ruler.

"Oh, don't bother boys." Callisto smiled lazily and flicked a supple wrist. "I'm just here to speak with..hmm..him, I believe." She pointed to their monarch. "You might call this a divine visitation."

Eyebrows rose in the throne room, but the man in question just raised his hand in dismissal, barely waiting for the room to clear before he smiled. Whomever this woman was, she was a woman and
he had nothing to fear, no matter that she wore warriors' attire.

He examined his guest, then with a smile he picked up a plate with the finest of grapes and offered it to her silently.

"Ooo..." Callisto cooed as she sampled the fare. "Very nice. Only the best for you, hmm?" She winked, plucking a few choice red grapes from the silver plate and eating them.

"And my guests, of course." He replied simply. "Forgive me for saying so, and perhaps it's a great lapse in my education, but you said 'divine visit', yet I don t recognize you." The man smiled at Callisto, raising an eyebrow in query.

"Did I say that? Hmm...well it is. Sorta. I m here because we need to talk. Did you know we have something in common?" She asked, a lazy smile on her otherwise beautiful face.

Callisto saw the puzzlement on the man's face and relished it.

Oh how I just love surprising people. Especially Xena. Abruptly she laughed, her shrill voice echoing her pleasure and her anticipation.

Oh Xena dear, your'e just going to love this one. She thought to herself then pulled the surprised but compliant man down for a deep kiss. I just love being such a bad girl.

* * * * *

Fenal picked up the cup and blew softly into it, sending a silent prayer to the gods for some good fortune for a change. With a deft wrist, he tossed the dice out onto the table.

With a groan he pushed himself away from the table. "I quit. I don't know what it is, but my luck is just getting worse and worse."

"Well, your bad luck was my good fortune. You're stopping now?" said the man across from him.

Fenal nodded and quickly stood up, striding purposefully to the bar and pointedly ignoring the cackles of the man who had just won a good sum of his dinars. Putting his leather tankard down, he motioned for a refill.

It had been a rotten season and it was threatening to put him out of business unless something good happened soon.

The first omen of ill fortune for Captain Fenal had been a leak in the hold of his ship that had ruined three quarters of his fabric shipment. What was left was just enough to pay for the voyage. On the next trip, he lost half of the livestock due to a very unnatural becalming of the seas that had left his ship and crew drifting for weeks. He had had to ration water to keep his men alive and the shipment had suffered for it. It was amazing any of the sheep had survived at all. Don't really like carrying livestock anyway, it's too messy to clean up afterwards.

This last voyage hadn't been too bad, really. Passengers were a good commodity usually, but there had only been two of them and nothing else to fill the hold.

So here he sat, his passengers having disembarked three days ago, and not a cargo or a would-be passenger since. Now he had lost good dinars and he knew he'd lose his ship soon if something didn't
come up. A captain just didn't leave a port without some sort of cargo, be it human or not.

Fenal sighed loudly and took a deep draft of the local ale.

"Pardon me. Are you the Captain of that merchant ship out on the third dock?" came a smooth woman's voice from behind him.

Perhaps my luck has just changed? He thought silently, then turned to address the lady.

Xena watched as the man turned towards her and then raised his head to look her in the face. His eyes widened in surprise, but she was glad to see no fear there, just curiosity. Fear got old, and long past were the days when she wanted that emotion when others saw her.

"Umm..yes. That would be me. Fenal. Captain Fenal of the Jade Dolphin, at your service I hope." The man smiled and held out a hand.

Xena shook it firmly then let him go. "Good. I heard you were looking for cargo and/or passengers?" she asked.

"Well yes, of course. Can't go out empty, you know. Where would you be headed to?" He took another drink.

Xena motioned the barkeep for an ale then turned back to the captain. "Elaphonisi or as far as you can take us that way."

He raised an eyebrow and nodded. "You said us. How many total?"

"Just two. Myself and my friend. How much would you be charging for us?" Xena got to the point.

Fenal thought a moment. "For both...50 dinars."

"I happen to be very handy aboard ship." Xena replied simply.

The captain smiled, and they got down to bargaining.

* * * * *

Callisto hopped from rock to rock with ease, her footing sure. She pivoted once with her arms open wide and her head turned upwards to the dark sky. Except for the warrior garb and the dark, twisted husk that was her soul, she seemed innocent, a lovely woman enjoying a day by the oceanside.

She stopped and leaned over the rocky overcropping she had set out for. The turbulent sea crashed below her and she grinned at the two forces, earth and water meeting.

Rather like Xena and myself, I think. Callisto thought to herself, then grimaced as if in pain. Bringing up her hands beside her mouth she filled her lungs with the sea air and bellowed, "POSEIDON!"

She waited a moment, tapping her foot with impatience.

"POSEIDON!" She yelled again, a wicked gleam could be seen in her eyes as she picked up several rocks and casually threw them into the sea.

"Oh..Poseidon." *plunk**plunk*

Callisto held her ground as suddenly the sea erupted before her and the titanic watery blue form of the Greek sea god rose from the depths.

"Nice entrance." She squealed in delight.

Poseidon glared down at the form before him, rather irate at being so rudely summoned. But he sensed divinity in this one, though it was still newly formed and much weaker than his own. Raising his trident before Callisto, his deep voice, like the ringing of a ships' bell under water, responded.

"Who are you?"

The blond warrior raised a long finger and pointed it at herself with amused surprise.

"Who, me? You don't get out much, do you? When was the last time you visited the 'ant hill'?" she quipped. Then, not bothering to wait for an answer, she waved her hand through the air and answered his question. "I'm Callisto. I'm rather new up there, but I'm having lots of fun meeting everyone. I've heard so much about you that I thought I'd come over for a little chat." Callisto smiled and fluttered her eyelashes.

Poseidon roared in laughter, causing wave after wave to crash high upon the rocks.

"You're trying to look so innocent that I know something's wrong." He roared, quite humored.

Callisto rolled her eyes and shrugged slightly. "Can't blame a girl for trying. But we do have something in common, you and I."

"Really?" He snickered, not believing it, but amused enough by the little immortal to listen a moment or two.

The woman pursed her lips and winked. Ever so softly the name escaped from her lips. "Xena."

The sea god drew back in surprise for a moment then bent towards Callisto earnestly. "Go on."

"What would you want in exchange for an itsy bitsy favor?" she asked, holding two fingers close together.

Poseidon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He trusted very few, and didn't know this pint-sized goddess.

Callistos' eyes flashed. "Oh, I just want a little storm to blow a certain ship off course. Onto my course, of course," she quipped.

The sea god winced slightly at the pun. He paused before answering, thinking deeply. Then suddenly he snapped his watery fingers, spraying Callisto slightly who ignored it. He smiled.

"This is what I want..." His voice grew soft as the midnight tide against a sandy beach, so soft that only she would hear. He took no chances that another god was eavesdropping. When he was done he straightened himself and looked down at Callisto expectantly.

The lithe goddess rested her forefinger against her cheek and pondered the situation. Then in imitation she snapped her fingers and replied. "Not a problem. I'll come back and call when I get it." She winked, then abruptly turned and skipped back across the rocks, back through the sands and into the woods beyond.

Poseidon just watched her leave, deeply amused about the whole situation. If she got the item in question, which he rather doubted, he would be pleased. If she didn't, well, then, he just might have a little storm cross Xena's bow anyway, but the ship would not take Callisto's course but his instead.

Roaring his laughter, he collapsed into the sea.

* * * * *

"Well?" Gabrielle asked, then took a small bite out of an apple.

"Yep, there's a ship that will take us most of the way I think. Won't cost us too much either." Xena stated as she spread herself under the shady tree beside Gabrielle.

"How much?" The bard asked dubiously. Usually she did the bargaining, but Xena had insisted this time. Not like they couldn t afford it. Gabrielle made pretty good money from the stories she told in taverns and inns wherever they traveled.

She knew, of course, that this annoyed Xena immensely. The warrior liked being self-sufficient and considered herself the provider for the duo, even though she always kept telling Gabrielle that this was a partnership of equals. Xena rarely took anything that was offered when people she saved were grateful. She thought they needed it more then she did, though fresh fruit and bread was a welcome treat if she thought the people could afford it. She didn't see herself as the mercenary type.

More often then not though, she d still feel guilt over the offering and would give it to some poor starving soul on the road and the two of them would live off the land. Xena had stolen enough in her warlord years to fill chests full of jewels and gold, but she rejected any reward like that now.

So Gabrielle told stories and made dinars and ignored Xena's frowns usually, knowing it was needed for them both. Like now. The bard thought.

"He didn't seem very happy, but we are going for...free." Xena paused dramatically, then grinned at her companion, immensely pleased with herself. "I did some preparing before I sought him out. I told him of a certain merchant that wants his business and household moved down the coast, not too far off from where we are heading. Everything he owns in fact. Fenal was ecstatic and told me the voyage was free. Then he almost flew out of the tavern looking for the man." The warrior laughed deeply at the picture, her eyes twinkling merrily.

Gabrielle smiled to see her friend in such a good mood. She'd been rather untalkative these past few days on the road, ever since they had left Argo with the Amazons. Argo hadn't seemed pleased either, but she had seemed to know it wasn't forever and had settled down when Xena had explained it to the mare.

The blond woman finished her apple and tossed the core into the brush. Turning to her friend she smiled, very pleased with Xena's skills.

"'Know your battlefield. Isn't that what you say?" the bard said, poking the warrior teasingly in the ribs.

"I have many..."

"Oh, no, you don't." said Gabrielle, as she nudged Xena over before she could finish. "Free passage, hmm? Are you sure the boat isn't full of holes or anything?" she asked, suddenly concerned. She hated being on water.

Xena grinned, knowing what was going through the young woman's mind. "Yes, Gabrielle, it's OK. I checked it out earlier. Even the crew seemed good. Though they are a bit nervous about the string of bad luck they have had lately. But I told them I was considering buying passage and they seemed happy enough. And the ship...not a boat Gabrielle, the ship is in good condition. Captain Fenal seems to take good care of it."

"Well,...I suppose." The young bard sighed, resigned to her fate. "When are we leaving?"

"He said he'll try and talk to the merchant immediately and get everything loaded up as soon as possible. Probably out on the evening tide if he's lucky. That merchant seemed to be in a hurry. I figured you wouldn't want to go on till the last minute anyway." She replied, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Of course...last minute will be just fine." The bard agreed.

Xena chuckled and lay back comfortably. "Just relax, Gabrielle. Take a nap, then we'll go have lunch..or in your case, a light snack at the inn, then we'll go aboard the Jade Dolphin."

Jade Dolphin. What a pretty name. Gabrielle thought silently as she stretched herself out on the soft grass and closed her eyes. A light snack indeed, I'll show her.

* * * * *

Aphrodite sighed and ran her hands down over her chiffon dress, smoothing an almost imperceivable wrinkle. She was bored once again. Being the Goddess of Love wasn't an easy task, no matter what anyone else thought. It seemed that though she was always begged and prayed to before she went to work, she was rarely thanked for bringing lovers together.

Mortals. So selfish. She rested her slim hands on her hips and tried to force a smile, always dreading that someday a frown line would creep up onto her porcelain skin.

"What I really need is a vacation," she said out loud.

"Hmm...I think I could help you with that," came a reply from behind her.

Aphrodite turned and viewed her visitor. She eyed the leather-armored woman before her with disdain. Callisto. One of the few she had ever had the privilege of not working on their behalf. Could my day just get any worse?! The Goddess of Love turned back to the mirror and fussed with her hair, not concerned with the young goddess behind her.

"What are you doing here Callisto? Don't you have a village to step on or something?" Aphrodite asked, wanting the woman far away from her.

Callisto smiled and stepped forward behind Aphrodite, just peeking over her shoulder so the goddess couldn't miss her. She pouted a little, then winked. "No, that's later this week. Today I'm here to make you happy."

Aphrodite laughed. "Well, darling, you did a good job. You made me laugh. I guess your work here is done." She smiled in the mirror, her eyes belying her words.

"A vacation. Isn't that what you said you needed? Just a minute ago I swear I heard you. It must be tiring sometimes, hmm? Hopeful lovers give you gifts and worship you so that you would point their pathetic little beloveds in their direction. And when you do, you're left alone with no thanks." Callisto's eyes
drooped in feigned sadness.

Aphrodite winced, almost believing that this neophyte could read her mind. She knew the truth was there for anyone wanting to see it. Perhaps that was the problem, she needed someone to care for her, even if that someone was just herself.

Sure, she had her husband, Hephaistos, but he was usually busy in his shop creating to his hearts' content. And Cupid was usually busy working or with his wife and child. He didn't have time for his mother anymore.

Yes! What I need is a vacation. Cupid can deal with the extra workload and any special requests can wait till I come back.

Aphrodite looked at Callisto in the mirror and asked. "And if I do? I suppose you want something in return?"

The blond warrior gave the goddess a predatory smile. "Oh, don't worry. It's rather easy and you'll enjoy it. I just need you to find someone suitable for a distraction."

The Goddess of Love raised an eyebrow. I wonder what she is up to? "Distraction? For whom?"

Callisto glanced around, then pressed her lips closely to Aphrodites ear and whispered a short name.

For the first time that day Aphrodite genuinely smiled. She looked at herself in the mirror and replied, "Deal. Just send a message when you want your distraction and where. Now tell me...what's your idea of a good vacation spot for me? And I don't mean headhunting with the locals in the jungles of Africa. The humid heat would just kill my hair."

Callisto looked disappointed, then grinned. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it. I have a nice boring vacation just perfect for you."

* * * * *

Xena watched as her friend popped a last grape into her mouth and patted her belly, groaning. She raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly. "Full?"

"Oh, yes. That was nice. Thank you. It's always nice to get off the road and have a real meal every couple of days." The content bard replied, stretching.

"Are you sure you're just not stocking up for the voyage, Gabrielle?" Xena teased.

The bard did her best to look indignant. "No. Of course not. I was just hungry and appreciate good food." The bard pushed her plate away and set her chin down on her arms that rested comfortably on the table. Glancing at her companion she continued, "Speaking of the boat though..."

"Ship." Xena corrected.

"Ship. How much longer till we have to get aboard? I think a little shopping might be in order." She hurriedly went on when she saw Xena s eyes roll. "I know that you're almost out of leather oil, and you usually use a lot aboard ship."

"Salt air." Xena affirmed nodding.

"Exactly, and I'd like to get my boots resoled, and..."

"OK. OK. Let s go shopping, shall we?" Xena threw upher hands, giving up the battle. It wasn't that Xena didn't like shopping, in fact when she was in the mood it was a thrill to see and touch good merchandise from across the known world. It was just that she hated spending money for things.

It was a last vestige from her warlord days, really. She had been used to taking what she wanted no matter what anyone said, and had made herself rich. Now, of course, she wouldn't dream of stealing
from good honest folks, but that need not to spend her dinars was still there. She could and had given money away many times to those that needed it more than herself. But bargaining with merchants just went against the grain a little bit.

Instead she actually enjoyed buying things for other people or just watching Gabrielle shop. The bard would stroll through a market place with an eye on values but would almost croon over luxury items, exalting in the look and feel of fabrics, and the smell of perfumes. Not once did she bemoan the fact that she didn't have this or that, Except food thought Xena, or couldn't afford an item on a traveling bard's income. Instead, she enjoyed the moment. Xena envied her that and could watch her friend for hours in the market. As long as I don't get bored or annoyed. Then I know I'm not really good company. The warrior chuckled to herself.

As they strolled along, Xena kept a sharp eye out for pickpockets, while her companion stopped at stall after stall admiring the merchandise, totally unaware. When they rounded a corner Gabrielle's eyes lit up and she burst forward with renewed energy. Unfortunately at that moment a cart of fresh vegetables came between the two friends and Xena impatiently had to wait for the farmer and her cart to pass as she tried to get a glimpse of her companion in the crowd ahead.

After a long frustrated moment the cart passed and Xena deftly dodged body after body in the crowd, slowly making her way forward and scanning for the missing bard. Catching a glimpse of strawberry
blond hair going around a corner, the warrior changed her course, cursing that her friend hadn't noticed she'd left Xena behind. She just hoped she'd not lost all her dinars to quick fingers.

"Excuse me. Pardon me. Oops, sorry about that. Excuse me." Xena apologized again and again as she pushed her way past irate shoppers.

Rounding the corner she abruptly halted as she ran up against Gabrielle's side, who was contentedly smelling the various oils and perfumes at a small stall. Catching the bard before she stumbled and dropped a bottle Xena quickly made sure her friend was ok, then gave her the look.

"What?" Gabrielle asked, totally confused.

"Nothing Gabrielle. Umm...where's your money pouch?" she whispered.

The bard grinned and replied in a soft voice, "Don't worry, Xena, it would be hard for me not to notice it's gone." Gabrielle did a little bounce and watched the corner of Xena's mouth twitch slightly in amusement.

Xena looked at the bottles and vials on the table in the stall under the watchful eyes of its owner. "Find anything interesting?"

"Some nice sandalwood. And a vial of hyacinth oil." She smiled pointing to the vials in question. The warrior picked up the hyacinth and inhaled the aroma deeply. This was one of her favorites. Smiling she put it back down and agreed. "Nice. So where to now?"

The bard shrugged. "Well, I was thinking of..." she stopped suddenly in and frowned. She cocked her head slightly and grew still, as if listening.

"Gabrielle?" Xena said in concern touching her friends elbow.

"Shhh...I thought I heard..." she murmured.

Then Xena heard it also. "Oh, no." She moaned and Gabrielle's head came up. "You heard it to?" she asked the warrior.

"Unfortunately, yes." Xena said simply through gritted teeth. She started looking around for a good escape for the two of them, but the marketplace was too crowded to move fast enough. As she was searching, the bard was scanning the crowd looking for the source of the noise that they had both heard.

"Xena. There he is." Gabrielle whispered motioning in the direction with her head. The warrior spun and honed in on who Gabrielle had found. Seeing that there was no escape before they were seen she sighed in resignation.

"Xena! I m surprised at you. I thought you liked him?" The bard teased. She giggled softly as her friend rolled her eyes dramatically back.

"I don't dislike him rather. Did I tell you the time that I got to kill him? Boy, was my chakrum stuck in him good." Xena s eyes sparkled at the pleasant memory.

Gabrielle was about to ask what her friend was possibly talking about when suddenly they could both hear a man's voice singing more loudly and clearly as it neared them. Amazingly enough the crowd cleared for him, but it was more in astonishment then in fear of the warrior attire.

"Joxer the mighty

he's really tidy.

Everyone admires him,

he's so handsome it's a sin."

Xena touched her fingertips to her temples and rubbed them softly feeling the tension. That song always grated on her nerves, and once she heard it, it was almost impossible to get out. She glanced at her companion feeling more sympathy for her. After all the bard had more sensitivity and really dreaded the story as much as Xena. At least there isn't a version with me and my little sword in it. I'd seriously consider killing him then. Slowly at that. Xena chuckled softly as she touched her chakrum, considering.
Nah..I ll be good.

"If your in jeopardy,

don't call the cav..."

Suddenly Joxer spotted the duo and his face lit up in pleasant surprise. He started making his way towards them, trying to weave his way through the crowd which had started moving again since he had ceased his singing.

Almost to them, he swerved around an older woman shopping with her daughter and accidentally stepped on her cloak. He tried to catch her and amazingly enough succeeded, but as he righted her, he turned too quickly back to his friends and his face collided with a small iron pot hanging from a blacksmiths stall. Holding his face in pain, he blindly went forward and stumbled over Gabrielle's staff and started to fall. Falling face first into a passer-by's knee, he smiled as the bright flashing lights blinked merrily in front of him.

"Pretty," he mumbled, smiling inanely.

Xena winced and started forward to help him. The bard reached him first and helped the bumbling would-be warrior to stand. "Joxer? Are you allright?" She asked, looking at him in concern. Xena stood next to her and peered at Joxer's face.

"Well, he missed the nose each time. It'll smart, but at least he doesn't bruise easily." The warrior said from experience.

Joxer shook himself and then focused on Gabrielle and Xena. He smiled happily and pulled them both to him in a big group hug.

"Wow!! What are you two doing here? What a surprise." It had been almost a full season since he had seen the pair, and he missed them. He was always watching Xena for tips and he liked being around Gabrielle period. He loved the bard, though she didn't know it. When the adventure with Draco, the temple virgins and Cupid's son had happened, Gabrielle had been loving and attentive to him. He of course had loved her for a long time and thought she had just finally come around to him. When he found out it had just been one of Cupids arrows affecting her, his heart broke.

In the time that had passed he had healed a little, but still loved the bard truly. Heck, I even put her in my song. Now that's love for you, he thought silently.

"Well, Xena and I are going to..." Gabrielle started but was interrupted with an elbow in her ribs and Xena smoothly cut in.

"WE are just going on a little trip down the coast. Where are you headed, Joxer?" she asked, hoping he wasn't going the same way. She could handle Joxer in little bits, but too much was just overpowering.

"Oh, nowhere in particular. I'm thinking of getting a job here, in fact, as a temple guard. Just to earn some extra dinars. I heard Hera's temple is looking for a few good men," he said confidentially.

"What a shame. Xena and I are about ready to board a ship to Elaphonisi in Laconia," said Gabrielle. "She wants to go see an old friend."

"Really? Perhaps I could come along and protect you from pirates." He offered. Gabrielle coughed and waved off the pat on the back Joxer gave her.

"Um...sorry Joxer. Ships full. And besides the captain's a little greedy. He's asking for 25 dinars a piece." Xena put in sadly, refusing to mention that what he asked for isn't what he got. She watched his face crumple in disappointment, then he smiled again. "Oh, well. How about going to the tavern for an ale or two instead, then?" he asked hopefully.

Xena was about to answer him when a suspicious movement caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. But before she could react, Gabrielle was stumbling backwards between two stalls, a dark figure leaning over her then starting to run off.

Gabrielle, not as helpless as she used to be and very indignant about having a stranger's hand down her bodice to take her money pouch, reached out with her staff and thrust between his ankles.

The thief stumbled, but recovered well and fled between the stalls and into the crowd in the next street.

"I'll get him!!" Joxer cried as soon as Gabrielle fell back. He jumped forward, inadvertently elbowing Xena in the stomach and knocking the breath out of her momentarily. Joxer made to jump over the bard and after the thief, but the two got entangled and totally blocked the aisle.

Xena growled and shot a dark look at Joxer. Then gathering herself she shot up and over both of their heads as she yelled her war cry. Landing nimbly she sprinted forward and took advantage of the stock-still crowd that had frozen at her yell. With a wicked laugh and a bright gleam in her eye she chased the darkclad thief who was having more problems moving through the crowd than she.

Bobbing and weaving skillfully, Xena's heart raced with excitement even at this small encounter. There was no doubt in Xena's mind she would catch him, it was rare indeed that the warrior lost her prey. Using her height advantage over the crowd and the fleeing thief she spied out a plaza ahead he was heading for and was pleased to see it less crowded. With a burst of speed she took four running steps, gathered herself, and with another warcry flipped herself over and over through the air and over the stunned shoppers heads. Landing easily, she turned and grinned wickedly at the thief as he ran smack into her. He backpedaled quickly and, like most cornered rats, sneered and drew a long knife.

"Ooo...nice. Your mother know you stole that from her kitchen?" Xena quipped, smiling sweetly. Ever so slowly she drew her sword and then with a practiced wrist she sliced the air around her body.

Xena chuckled deeply as she saw the thief gulp and tentatively thrust out with his blade. Like lightning, Xena's leg shot out and her foot connected solidly with his knife hand. As the knife fell towards the cobblestones her foot never returned to the ground, instead it continued through its' arc and hit the thief squarely in the side of the head, knocking him unconscious. As he fell to the ground, Xena dropped her leg and nudged the knife away from him just in case he woke too soon. Sheathing her sword, she then searched him thoroughly and retrieved Gabrielle s money.

Spying the bard and Joxer, she motioned them over. Gabrielle frowned at the body spread out at her feet. With annoyance she nudged her staff at his head a little just to be sure he was out cold. Then with a grin she glanced at her friend and looked her over for injury, not really expecting any.

"You ok?" She asked. At Xena's nod, Gabrielle looked around, standing on her toes for a better look. "No guards around when you need them, of course."

"Oh, I think I can deal with this." Xena replied and squatted down beside the would-be thief. Picking up his knife with one hand she slapped him with the other to wake him. After a moment he woke, he eyes opening slowly. He looked at the warrior quizzically then opened them more widely in alarm. He tried scooting back away but ran into Gabrielle s leg. Nice glare there Gabrielle. Xena thought. The thief trembled and started to look around for an escape route. Xena leaned close, catching his attention with his knife neatly trimming the leather edge of his tunic collar. He froze.

"Now I m sure you want to apologize to my friend, here." Xena advised sweetly, her blue eyes flashing.

His eyes bulged even wider. He nodded once, then twice, but was silent until Xena raised an eyebrow and pricked his chin gently with the knife point.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Won't do it again. Nope. Not again. I'm really really sorry. Please don't cut me." He pleaded looking back and forth between the bard and the warrior woman.

Gabrielle's eyes narrowed at him. "I'd advise a new line of work."

Nodding quickly, his eyes pleading he replied. "Yep. My brother's farm sounds much safer. Really safe. Yep. Won't do this again. Please please don't cut me." He said to the warrior that held his own knife just below his chin.

With a grin Xena motioned with the knife and watched as the thief scrambled up and rapidly disappeared in the amused crowd of watchers.

Xena stood and stuck the knife in her boot and smiled as the crowd decided the show was over and continued on their business.

"Wow Xena, that was good." Joxer exclaimed, impressed.

"Thanks." She murmured, not really happy with him at the moment. "Come on, Gabrielle, we have a ship to board. Nice to see you again, Joxer. Take care of yourself," Xena said, turning, not really waiting for her companion to follow. The further away from him I am, the safer he is. Or should that be, the further away from him I am, the safer I am? The warrior mused.

DISCLAIMERS:

Violence is present in this story, and some of it is very graphic. This is Xena after all. If you don't approve please just read something you find more appropriate.

Oh gods...that gray stuff is bubbling outta my ears again, perhaps I should just get on with the story before it's all gone?

A CROWN OF LAUREL

BY SILK

silk2@hotmail.com