And so it ends ……………
The rhythmic beat of blood struggled to reach the dying heart. Its long journey
was winding down to a close. The oozing red liquid had started to thicken, it
was not going to make it back for one last go around.
The icy blue eyes tried to focus once again at the woman dying in her arms.
Her once youthful face had given way to age and gracious beauty. The lines of
wisdom had gathered around her still vibrant green eyes. Time had been kinder
to the bard then it had been to the warrior, but her health had robbed her of
her golden years. The last few years were spent coughing and resting, resting
and coughing. Now with her weakening heart Gabrielle offered a small smile as
she tried to lift her hand to Xena's weathered face. Releasing her arthritic
hold on the green bottle of nightsbane, Xena reached to guide Gabrielle's hand
to her face.
Feeling the coolness of the bard's fingers, she knew her ailing heart was finally
giving in. After all the battles they had been through together, their struggles
just to survive the death of their children and the twilight of the Gods, but
they had made it. Hand in hand and heart in heart they had walked into their
golden years together. Now as the fates would have it, they could not fight
any longer. Gabrielle's health was failing horribly due to her ailing heart,
and the once mighty warrior princess, now struggled just to open the bottle
of nightsbane. Neither had held a weapon in years, not that they could have
even if they had wanted to.
Xena's blue eyes misted as she gazed down at the green bottle of poison, they
had been through too much together for the warrior to allow her bard to die
alone. She had contemplated taking her life once before, but Gabrielle had entered
her life and she had never looked back. As strong as she once was, she knew
she had no desire to live in this world without her soul, without her light,
without her Gabrielle.
Xena watched as her friend's eyelids lower, allowing the warrior to close her
blue eyes on the silver streams of tears racing down her face. No, they had
been through too much for her to let Gabrielle fight her last battle without
her warrior by her side.
She felt her own heart slowing and she knew the nightbanes was taking effect,
it would be quick, and that was what she wanted.
The warrior brow furrowed as she caught the movement of Gabrielle's lips, lowering
her head, she tilted her ear so that it was just mere inches from Gabrielle's
mouth.
“Say it again, I couldn't hear you.”
The bard's broken whisper words lifted one corner of Xena's lip. "Xena
... In case I never ... enough ... I love ... you."
As Xena felt the poison taking over her system, the raven-haired warrior released
her friend. She could no longer hold the woman who held her heart. Time was
running out, for both of them. So with her last ounce of strength the warrior
princess laid down next to her bard.
"I think ... somewhere ... down the line ... I knew that." She reached
for Gabrielle's hand and brought it to her chest. A wave of impending finality
swept over her as she felt the cold touch of death taking its hold of the bard's
dying body.
Gabrielle's strength was all but gone. She had lost her beloved gift of speech,
no longer could she tell the world what she was thinking. Her hand lay flat
on Xena's chest as she felt the warmth of love encircled her own slowing heart.
Her green eyes were closed for the final time as she concentrated on the final
beats of Xena's heart.
"Gab ... rielle ... forever," the warrior's lips softly breathed out
their last world as Xena saw with open eyes the shadow of darkness as it ended
her life. It was over. There would be no more battles, no more wars, and no
more struggles, no more need to survive until tomorrow.
Gabrielle couldn't help but release a moan, as she felt the last push of air
escape from her soulmate's chest. It was over …
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xena felt the cold first, and then the black of a moonless night. Her world
was empty, it was ... without. She was alone now, death had ended their life
together. Never could she have imagined it would be so painless, so ... so ...
final. The absolute emptiness was something she had never felt before. She brought
her arms up and wrapped them around her shoulders. It was so damn cold! Try
as she might she couldn't see anything, nothing, only black. Was this how she
was going to spend eternity? The thought only made her feel colder. She hadn't
been alone for a long time, and the silence wasn't something she was used to.
Suddenly a wave of desire tore through her. All she wanted was her bard, her
companion, and the part of her that gave her strength.
'Gabrielle,' try as she might to say the name out loud, Xena still heard
nothing. If this was Tartarus, eternity was going to be a long time.
Xena turned her head to see if she could see anything, but it was so dark she
wasn't even sure if she had even moved her head. Squaring her broad shoulders,
she furrowed her brow. This was not going to beat her, nothing in life had except
... death.
The eerie silence roared in her ears, wave after wave as it curled and rolled.
It was then she heard it, there was a pattern, and it wasn't just a constant
roar. Xena questioned, 'if it was silent, how could she hear the surge of
... of what, of sound?'
Without warning the roar of nothing was broken by the sound of peace. There
was no other way to describing it. It was like the silence had become harmony.
Her blue eyes watched with open amazement as the darkness changed to black.
Something was out there. Something she couldn't see, couldn't hear and couldn't
sense. But no matter which direction she turned she could feel it coming towards
her.
She felt the bitter cold surrounding her, chilling the very essence of her being.
A raw naked cold that suddenly exploded with warmth and then she felt a presence.
An entity, but there was nothing she could see. It was only an inner feeling,
something she had possessed all her life. Xena knew it couldn't be a God, there
weren't any more Gods. Ares and the rest of his family had ceased to exist.
Their immortal lives had been taken by their own twilight. No, this wasn't a
God, this was something far more powerful than a God.
The blackness around her was no longer empty and cold, it was as if …?
Xena opened her mouth to speak, but there was only silence. A flutter of movement
went past her, but again she saw and heard nothing. Feeling the changes in temperature
and a breeze of air that did not exist, she felt her old warrior instincts coming
back to life. Her body turned with a heighten sense of knowing. Then she felt
the presence again.
Radiating warmth cascaded over her body, as if something was observing her,
studying her with all too knowing eyes. Every one of her nerves tingled with
awareness. Her warrior's instinct for survival sharpened, heightening her sense
of self-preservation. Whatever this was, it knew her and it knew her well.
Something was moving up her body. Walking itself over her back and shoulders.
Everywhere it pasted over, Xena could feel the hair on her body reacting. Wave
after wave it came, an unnerving mixture of warmth and coolness, until the touch
of knowing fingers gently collected her hand.
It was like the birth of a new universe, everything around them burst with a
vibrant light. Cascading over them in multitudes of sunshine colors, the world
seemed to harmonize as the two intertwined their hands.
The balance of time and space came back into alignment, and all that had been
broken was now whole. The shadows and shades of light and dark had found themselves
again, as the yin yang of life, was now back in harmony with death.
Gabrielle smiled up into the bluest eyes she had ever seen on her dearest friend's
face. The grey hair had been replaced with the raven hair of old. Her bronzed
body was once again strong and tall as the hands of death wiped away any remnants
of old age. Her long slender fingers, no longer crippled with arthritic old
age, once again had the power and the tenderness that was the essence of the
warrior princess.
Xena pulled her little bard into a powerful embrace, wrapping her bronze arms
tightly around the small frame. She couldn't be certain if they had been separated
for minutes, days or hours, or if possible even longer.
Gabrielle was engulfed with the show of affection, which she was not used to
it. Even after all these years, public showing of emotions were something she
never got used to. The bard smiled, and the warrior delighted in the youthful
look that had returned to her friend's features. She couldn't help but smile
at the return of the tight muscles Gabrielle had once been so proud of.
"Xena. I knew you'd be here."
"I told you long time ago, even in death Gabrielle ... I just didn't think
you would beat me, that's all."
“So is this it? Are we really dead this time?”
“I think so Gabrielle, but …”
“So now what? I mean is this it?”
“I don't know." Xena said as she scratched at her ear. "I've
never been dead before, well I have. I mean we have, but I don't remember any
of ..."
Taking Gabrielle's small hands into her own, they walked side by side towards
a distant shining light that seemed to be growing and growing.
"You know ... When we died before and I don't remember any of this."
The bard's brow furrowed.
"Does it matter? I mean really, does it matter? It not Tartarus, nor is
it Hell." The warrior whispered as she pulled Gabrielle into her shoulder.
“I don't really care either way, not as long as you are by my side Xena."
"I told you I would never leave you. And I meant it. Without you, there
is no me. Without you, I never would have survived myself." Xena leaned
down and kissed the top of Gabrielle's head. Both women seemed to pause for
a moment before the warrior spoke again. “Somehow I just knew, I knew we
needed each other, and that we had to stay together.”
"I know ... I've been trying to lose you for the last fifteen years."
Gabrielle gave Xena's ribs a little jab as she looked up at the radiant smile
of her warrior.
"Forever huh."
"For eternity," Xena's said in a husky whisper.
Gabrielle snuggled a little closer into her warrior's shoulder, she closed her
eyes to the familiar smell of leather. She never opened them again as they continued
towards the light.
"I think I could get used to that." Xena looked down at the woman
she had shared her mortal life with.
“What's that, Gabrielle?”
“Spending eternity with you.” Opening her green eyes, Gabrielle looked
longingly into Xena's oceans of blue. Time was no longer an essences, it didn't
matter anyhow, they had each other and that was enough.
“One question?”
Gabrielle's face pulled into a frown
as she waited a response.
"Would you do it all again?" Xena whispered.
"Without hesitation, ... In a heart beat, as long as I had my warrior princess
by my side!"
The words didn't surprise Xena, she had been listening to Gabrielle's gift for
too long, but it didn't stop the small tears from gathering in the corner of
her eye. She placed a gentle kiss on the bard's forehead.
“Are you ready?” Xena motioned with her head in the direction of the
bright light.
“Like always Xena, I'm right behind you.”
“No.” The warrior pulled her bard next to her. “Beside me Gabrielle,
that is where you belong. Beside me.”
6/2/00
I hoped you have enjoyed my small tale. For questions and comments I can be
reached at: sinful@telus.net