Her Gabrielle
By: AMAZON MOON 1999C.
Disclaimer:
The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are borrowed and no
infringements of copyright intended. This story is of alt. nature
so if it has a strange effect on you, I recommend you don't read
it till you think you're ready to. ;)
This is a story about two women, best of friends but each
hold an aching secret in their hearts. None discloses the love
within until one day, while travelling, one of them meets a man
and they plan to start a life together. How would the other react?
Find out in this story.
I'm dedicating this piece of work for all those out there, searching for love. May you find your soulmate and if you already have, remember to treasure them. This one is also for my own, who's probably out there, somewhere.
Okay then, I hope you'll love this one. Mail me with your comments at amazon_moon@yahoo.com. Thank you. Amazon Moon 1999c.
They walked through the serene path, their soft footsteps
crushing the soft green grass underneath. The place was beautiful,
with fresh smelling flowers and lush greenery. Bright coloured
butterflies would flutter by occasionally, in pairs.
Xena sat on her horse while the Poteidaian bard walked on
foot beside her, trusty staff in hand. They were on the road again,
after their early breakfast. The road they were on was to lead them
to Cherchela.
"This place looks beautiful," Gabrielle remarked as she watched a butterfly land on a sweet smelling flower, fresh dew drops on its bright petals. "Won't it be nice, Xena, to walk down this lane with the person you love?"
Xena smiled and looked shifted her eyes to the head of the bard, affection shown in her eyes. "Yes it would be, Gabrielle."
They were silent for awhile then, each in their own thoughts.
She didn't take the hint, Gabrielle realised as she trudged
along, the butt of her staff crunching the short grass with each step.
Oh give it up Gabrielle, she told herself. Xena will never fall for
you that way. It's been years now, don't expect anything.
Xena's eyes were seemingly fixed onto the path ahead but her mind was elsewhere. You love her, her own voice rang in her head. Why don't you tell her? Say how much you adore her, how much you want her. Let Gabrielle know.
She's not interested in me, Gabrielle sighed inwardly, her sad green eyes downcast. She just treats me like a friend. Family, but a friend. A bestfriend, not a lover.
What if I blow it? Xena demanded, debating with herself. If I ruin it all, Gabrielle will leave. And there will be lonliness in my life. Travelling the roads won't be the same. I can't..
Who am I to kid? Gabrielle questioned herself hotly, her brows knitted. Xena needs a man. A strong man. Someone like Marcus or Borias. I'm only a woman. I guess i'm lucky to have the honour of being her bestfriend. I'm asking for too much. I really shouldn't push it or...
She married Perdicas. Always liked those men, Xena remembered. She never showed any affection for women. It'll only be a matter of time when she finds another Perdicas and settles down with a family and then...
I'll lose her. Both thought glumly, the heavy silence hanging between them. Yet both were totally unaware of each other's true feeling, true thoughts...
***
They soon reached Cherchela and proceeded to the nearest tavern. Xena passed Argo's reins to the keeper and told Gabrielle to
meet her inside while she settle things. The bard gave a simple nod
and went in.
She sat at a table and leaned her staff against the wooden
table. She felt weary all of a sudden. She barely closed her eyes when
she felt a gush of wind and a swift movement beside her. She fluttered
her eyes open immediately and saw a burly ruffian with her staff, a
cocky look on his greasy face and mockery in his eyes.
"Give it back," the bard ordered as the man admired the tough wood, running his sweaty palms over it.
"Why should I?" the mean man ran his leathery tongue across his lips as he eyed her up and down, as if picturing how she would look naked.
"Cos you'll get into trouble if you don't," a voice suddenly came out from behind.
"Who are you to-" he had hardly finished when a fist went
across his face, shutting him up. The ruffian's eyes smoldered with
flames as he got aggitated. He spun around to face his attacker,
forgetting all about Gabrielle's staff.
A dashing man, in peasant clothes stood there, a determined
look on his handsome features. Of a moment, Gabrielle thought she
saw Perdicas. She blinked and looked again but this time Perdicas
was gone, only to be replaced by someone else who's eyes resembled
his own.
"I'll get you for that," the bully swore as he lunged forward, getting the man by his throat. They struggled as they fought but it was clear that the man was no warrior and the bully was winning.
Gabrielle picked up her staff and rushed over to thw two, who were fighting in the middle of the room. She gave the burly ruffian a blow on the head with her stick. That move gave her hero time to scramble away from the deadlock.
When he came back, the ruffian shook his head, his double chin flapping. He was about to make a grab at the bard when a flying chakram flew by his nose, stopping him. It rocketted off the walls then came back to the hand of the warrior princess Xena, who stood at the door.
The bully froze in fear when he saw the stoic figure of the warrior woman approaching. Cold sweat formed on his bald head and a bead of presperation rolled down his face.
Xena gave a sour look at the cowering bully before giving a disgusted jerk of her head. "Get outta here."
The man took the cue and scrambled out of the tavern hurriedly, his tail between his legs.
When he was gone, most of the crowd settled down and went back to their food. The man who had tried helping the bard was hurt, having a few bruises and a cut on his lip. He was leaving when Gabrielle stopped him.
She touched his arm, holding him back as Xena approached them. "What's your name?"
"Elias," the man replied, his warm brown eyes locked on hers. "I'm a pig farmer in this village."
"Well thank you Elias," Gabrielle thanked him sincerely as she noted the slight resembalance he and Perdicas shared. They had the same kind of brown floppy hair and soulful eyes that spoke volumes.
"All right, what's going on?" Xena questioned. She turned and studied the roughed-up farmer. He looked slightly familiar. Where had she seen him before? She frowned. "Who are you?"
"He's the man who tried getting my staff back, Xena," Gabrielle introduced. "That man took it and refused to give it back."
"Pleased to meet you, warrior princess," Elias smiled as he bowed slightly. His smile reminded her of someone... the dead soldier who had been Gabrielle's husband. Perdicas. Xena winced inwardly.
Gabrielle smiled at the exchange. "Why not join us for lunch, Elias? It would be an honour. Xena?"
"Oh yeah, uhm, sure," Xena mumbled distractedly. "Why don't you?"
The three sat down and ordered their food. Xena couldn't help but feel a certain chemistry building up between the two. They shared a similiar passion for literature and drama. She was almost invisible to them. they looked lost in their own world, laughing and talking...
By the gods, was she feeling jealous? Xena bit her lip as she
swirled the contents of her cup, her blue eyes fixed on the two before
her. They were happy, almost always smiling in their conversation. They
both looked so happy together. Her hand occasionally touching his, her
green jems dancing as she looked at his face, her mouth curled up in
a brillant smile...
A cold sensation poured over her. Was she losing Gabrielle?
***
"I never knew anyone else appreciated drama the way I do," Gabrielle grinned when Elias finally left.
Xena forced a grin. "He seems the nice sort."
Gabrielle kept a tiny smile on her face, shaking her head gently while her eyes seemed so far away. "I don't know, sometimes when he laughs, or when he smiles... he reminds me of..."
The bard stopped abruptly, the dreamy look on her gave erased immediately as she came back to reality. "Sorry Xena, I-"
"Perdicas?" Xena whispered, her blue eyes studying her friend's flustered face, willing her pain to be hidden. "Well, yes, Elias reminded me of him too."
"Let's... let's go shopping," Gabrielle suddenly as she stood erect, wanting a change in the topic. "We need new supplies."
"Sit down Gabrielle," Xena pulled her down to her seat. "We can get those supplies later."
"He invited you to the village fair later on tonight, you're coming aren't you?" the warrior stretched a smile on her face.
"Well... you coming?" the bard asked hesistantly as she played with the murkin on the top of her staff.
"I think you should go, Gabrielle," Xena squeezed her shoulder. "You earned it."
"But what about you, Xena?" Gabrielle asked as she raised her eyebrows.
"Don't you worry about me, Gabrielle," Xena replied simply as she patted her hand. "I'll be fine." Liar, she told herself as she smiled reassuringly at the bard.
***
It was a monthly fair that stretched for a week that the cosy village always held. Xena looked out of her room window, surveying the streets. It was rather crowded and it was rowdy too. There were stalls set up on each end of the streets with vendors hawking their wares. There were game stores too and puppet shows to amuse the children. Xena knew Gabrielle would love it.
She sighed as she looked away from the window and back into
the dimly lit room. It was wrong of her to be jealous. She should be
glad for her friend. It would be wonderful if Gabrielle could find
another Perdicas again and start the life that was meant for her;
raising kids, telling stories...
What could she give her? The occasional adventure? A dangerous life of uncertain risks on the roads? Xena scrubbed her palms over her face and sighed deeply. Yes, Gabrielle would be a much happier person with Elias.
***
"Are you enjoying yourself, Gabrielle?" Elias asked as they walked down the streets together.
"Very much, yes," the blonde bard grinned as she clutched the toy he had won for her in at a gamestore.
"Gabrielle," Elias paused suddenly, stopping in stride. He became serious instantly, an earnest look in his eyes. "You are truly the most beautiful creature I've ever seen."
The Amazon princess blinked. She didn't resist when he took her hand into his own. Everything else seemed like a blur around them. Was this really happening?
"I have to admit, Gabrielle, I fell in love with you the first time I saw you," Elias gazed at her lovingly as he held her hand against his chest. "You... amaze me. I've never felt like this before."
"Elias, I... " Gabrielle struggled with words. She felt highly intoxicated and breathless. She wanted to tell him she had to discuss with Xena first but stopped. Why should Xena control her life? Her life was her own's and she had the right to do anything she wanted. Besides, Xena had encouraged her... and she never would love her anyway.
"I think you're pretty wonderful yourself," Gabrielle smiled as he brushed his lips against her hand.
"Gabrielle," Elias put his hand into his pocket and came up with a ring. "I bought this when you weren't looking..." He got down on his knees, in the midst of the crowd. "Gabrielle, would you marry me?"
The bard stopped short, her eyes wide open. She thanked the gods for her staff, on which she steadied herself for support. Her eyebrows raised,"Elias?"
"Marry me, Gabrielle," Elias offered her the gold band. "And be my wife."
***
Xena saw all that. A nosy crowd had formed around the two and she would have been a fool not to know what was happening. Especially when she saw a glimmer of a small object in a kneeling Elias' hand.
She watched on, part of her hoping Gabrielle would turn him down and walk away while another bit of her yelled at the bard to accept the ring. Xena gripped the window sill as she watched on.
The crowd gave a sudden cheer and people started clapping as Elias slipped the ring on Gabrielle's finger, giving the blushing bard a kiss. She looked happy too, a wide smile on her face.
Xena closed the window. She knew she should be feeling glad for her bestfriend but right then, she wanted to just curl up and cry.
***
Xena was at the table, spinning her chakram dejectedly when Gabrielle returned to their room. She held a small boquet of flowers and a toy in her hands. She grinned as she shut the door behind her.
"Gifts from Elias?" Xena asked smoothly as she glanced at the presents the bard laid down on her bed.
Gabrielle gave a single nod then returned to her, joining the warrior princess at the small table in their room. "Xena, I need to ask you something... it's important."
Here we go, Xena readied herself as she tried to act cool.
"Xena," Gabrielle began. "Elias... he, well, he proposed to me just now..."
"Did you accept?" Xena forced a smile, hoping the pain she felt didn't show in her eyes. She could feel her heart crumbling slowly with each painful breath she took. She was so beautiful...
The bard looked down for a second then nodded silently. She didn't see Xena grip the edge of the table. "Yes, yes I did. But I'm-"
"Gabrielle, if you're worried about me, don't be," Xena smiled as she tried reassuring Gabrielle, if not herself. "You know I'll be fine. If you're happy, then so am I."
"I need to ask you something else, Xena," Gabrielle took a deep breath, her eyes shut. "I need to know... do you love me?"
That question took her by surprise. Xena echoed a whisper, "Love you?"
"Yes, do you?" Gabrielle persisted.
"Of course I do Gabrielle," Xena told her. "You're my best-"
"Friend?" the bard broke in, her eyes shut. She willed that none of her tears spilled. She didn't want Xena to find out.
"Yes," Xena whispered softly, a bit hesistantly. "...friend." A voice screamed in her head NOW'S THE TIME XENA! TELL HER NOW!! But she couldn't bring herself to. She was getting married and Elias seemed the perfect man. She couldn't ruin it for Gabrielle.
"Well then Xena, I'll be marrying Elias the day after tomorrow, and I'd... like my bestfriend to be my bridesmaid. Would you do me this honour, Xena?"
"The day after tomorrow?" That was so fast. Xena cleared her mindful of doubts. Gabrielle knew what she was doing... "Of course Gabrielle, I'll be there."
They pulled together in a hug, holding each other in the privacy of their room, feeling each other's heartbeat, their breathing in their ear. Yet two hearts longed for each other but had no clue.
***
"You look wonderful in that dress, Gabrielle," Xena smiled as she watched her friend twirl around in her wedding gown. The white outfit had belonged to Elias' mother.
"You think so?" the bard asked, her eyes showing her need for reassurence.
"I know so," Xena smiled warmly as she admired her bestfriend Gabrielle looked like a princess. The dress fited her perfectly. It looked great on her, showing off her well-tonned body.
"Well thanks, you look fantastic yourself," Gabrielle grinned as she walked over to the warrior dressed in her pink bridesmaid gown. Xena gave a mock scrowl at the bard's cheeky smile.
"So ladies, everything okay?" Elias poked his head into the room suddenly. He noticed the bride-to-be and whistled in appreciation. "Honey, you look magnificent!"
"Thanks," Gabrielle blushed. Xena forced a smile. She could've been hers, but she was too late. And if she told her now, Gabrielle would hate her for it. And now she had to live with all the pain and misery alone as she travelled with Argo while Gabrielle stayed with Elias and made his babies...
"Xena? Are you all right?" the bard touched her arm, making the warrior come back to the instant. "Elias just said you looked beautiful."
"Oh, ha, thanks," Xena muttered and Elias gave a brief nod before disappearing. He had to prepare for the bachelor's party his friends were throwing for him tonight.
"You seem to have something on your mind," the blonde observed when Elias shut the door. She stared into Xena's blue eyes. "You could tell me Xena. Is it about my wedding?"
"No Gabrielle..."
"Don't keep doing this Xena, I know you better than you think."
"It's really-"
"I know you love me, why can't you just tell me?"
Xena kept silent, her features unreadable.
"Xena, I know you love me. When you were in Autolycus' body, you kissed me. You even had your hand on my butt. And there were other, other things that showed me Xena... I'll be getting married tomorrow. If you can't tell me now, I know you never will."
Gabrielle ended, her fist balled and her teeth clentched. That probably had to be one of the most passionate speeches she had ever done. She looked at the beautiful woman before her, waiting for her to speak.
Xena shut her eyes for the briefest of seconds. Precisely, your wedding is tomorrow. How can I ruin it all for you now? "Gabrielle, you have gotten it all wrong. It wasn't my hand on your butt, it was Auto's and we never kissed. I've loved you... but only as a friend, my best friend, like I've told you before. Nothing else."
She knew Gabrielle hated her for saying that. Truth was, she hated herself too.
***
That night, Elias had his bachelor's party. Gabrielle decided
to stay in the tavern. After Xena told her she never loved her that
way, she felt stupid. She didn't explain why she said all that. Xena
didn't force her. They simply changed back to their clothes and went
their separate ways; Gabrielle back to their tavern room and Xena
elsewhere.
"By the gods, Gabrielle," the bard spoke to herself as she paced the room. "Do you know what you're doing?" Maybe Xena needed time. Maybe this whole marriage thing was going too fast. She needed time too, she realised. She decided to talk to Elias. She needed to know if he would understand and wait for her for some time. The bard abruptly picked up her staff and left the room, heading for Elias' house.
***
Xena felt pretty bummed. All those years as a warloard, all
that conquering, all that slaying... it seemed so strange now that she
was so full of chickenshit that she didn't dare to tell Gabrielle her
true feelings. Was it her fault that she wanted her to be happy?
The warrior princess walked down the cold, empty streets. It was the last day of the gay festival yesterday. It was so strange. The streets were so crowded and lively then but now, they seem so cold, lonely and depressing. Just like how she was feeling.
She spotted another tavern with its orange lights on and decided to go in. She could use some strong port. Tomorrow would be the day where she loses Gabrielle. Again.
Pushing open the wooden swinging doors, Xena stepped in. It wasn't crowded at all, with only a handful of patrons. A singer, she saw, was getting ready to go on stage. The barkeep was polishing his counter. The perfect retreat, Xena thought as she walked in and took a seat by the counter.
"Gimme something strong," Xena told the bartender. He nodded and started pouring dark liquids out of their bottles. Xena turned her back around. The singer was on stage now. He was a slim man, with a soulful expression on his face and had a nice haircut, complete with sideburns.
When her drink was ready, the barkeep handed it to her and Xena took a sip of it. It tasted bitter. Just right for now. She turned her attention to the singer. He finally began his opening number.
"Well, since my baby left me,
I found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of lonely street
at Heartbreak Hotel.
You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.
And although it's always crowded,
you still can find some room.
Where broken hearted lovers
do cry away their gloom.
You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.
Well, the Bell hop's tears keep flowin',
and the desk clerk's dressed in black.
Well they been so long on lonely street
They ain't ever gonna look back.
You make me so lonely baby,
I get so lonely,
I get so lonely I could die.
Hey now, if your baby leaves you,
and you got a tale to tell.
Just take a walk down lonely street
to Heartbreak Hotel."
The applause was like birddroppings on a tin roof but the singer was probably used to it anyway. Xena liked the way he pivoted his hips as he sang. He wasn't that bad.
"Give me another," the warrior princess pushed her empty cup away. She shifted back to the singer on stage. He was beginning another number.
"The one I love belongs to somebody else
She means her tender songs for somebody else
And even when I have my arms around her
I know her thoughts are strong for somebody else
The hands I held belong to somebody else
I'll bet they're not so cold to somebody else
It's tough to be alone on the shelf
It's worse to fall in love by yourself
The one I love belongs to somebody else
The one I love belongs to somebody else."
The song was short but Xena found her eyes dampening. Her heart ached and she knew it was because of Gabrielle. She was getting married tomorrow. Xena picked up the cup of awful smelling stuff and gulped it down, swallowing down the bitterness. The singer went on with another song.
"The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love
The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love."
That's it, Xena thought. She had to shut her mind off Gabrielle if she wanted to continue her life. Getting dead drunk at a tavern wasn't going to be the answer.
"You're right Xena,"an all too familiar voice whispered.
Xena jerked her head up. She wasn't drunk yet. She found Ares, the Greek god of war sitting on the next stool beside her, a plastic look of sympathy on his features. Xena drained her cup and slammed it on the counter. "Ares. What do you want?"
"I'm sorry Xena," the god lifed his eyebrows. "Didn't know that you'd be so affected that the blonde was leaving."
"Go away, Ares," Xena hissed, glaring at him. "You're not helping."
"I am, Xena. If you'll make me a deal- join my army and I'll have a little chat with Aprodite for you," Ares offered.
Xena knew better than to trust him. "I'm not going down that path again, Ares. It's Gabrielle's decision and I've no right to do anything like that."
The god spread his hands nonchalantly. "Whatever you say. But if you really think about it Xena, you know you want her." The dark god vanished in blue smoke as abruptly as he arrive.
"Gimme one more, barkeep!" Xena hollered as she flung her mug irritatedly at him. She leaned against the counter and rubbed her temples. She could hear the singer crooning behind her, on the stage.
"The crowd sees me out dancing
Carefree and romancing
Happy with my someone new
I'm laughing on the outside
Crying on the inside
'cause I'm still in love with you
They see me night and daytime
Having such a gay time
They don't know what I go through
I'm laughing on the outside
Crying on the inside
'cause I'm still in love with you
No one knows it's just a pose
Pretending I'm glad we're apart
And when I cry, my eyes are dry
The tears are in my heart
My darling, can't we make up?
Ever since our breakup
Make believe is all I do
I'm laughing on the outside
Crying on the inside
'cause I'm still in love
I am still in love with you."
Part of Xena felt like hurling her chakram at the singer's throat but another bit wanted to carry on feeling remorseful. She sighed as the barkeep placed her drink infront of her. "It's so hard, you know... to tell her how you truly feel deep inside."
"Yeah," the kindly man agreed, nodding his head."It always is."
Xena swirled the liquid dejectedly. "She's marrying tomorrow. And I'll lose her again."
"I had always feared losing her," the man sighed. "Deep inside me, I knew some day that would happen. And it did."
The singer, oblivious to their conversation, started another mournful lovesong.
"Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more
Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too
Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too."
"I don't want to lose her," Xena remarked to her buddy as she slowly downed the burning liquid. "I know my life will never be the same again."
"It changed. After she left," the barkeep shook his head sadly.
"But I wanted her to be happy, that's why I lied," Xena croaked as he refilled her cup. "That's all I wanted for Gabrielle... for her to be happy..."
The singer did his job again, giving out another tune.
"Smile, tho' your heart is aching,
Smile, even tho' it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining thru' for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness.
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile."
"Easier said than done," Xena drawled, her face sour. She lost count at how much she had drunk. "Not while your heart's breaking."
"I should fire him," the barkeep swore as he poured himself a drink, joining the warrior woman in their sesion.
"He's not bad," She shrugged as she guzzed down the alcohol, feeling the burning sensation run down her throat.
"I should care, I should go around weeping
I should care, I should go without sleeping
Strangely enough, I sleep well
'cept for a dream or two
But then I count my sheep well
Funny how sheep can lull you to sleep
So I should care, I should let it upset me
I should care but it just doesn't get me
Maybe I won't find someone as lovely as you
But I should care and I do
I should care but it just doesn't get me
Maybe I won't find someone as lovely as you
But I should care and I do
And I do."
Xena suddenly had a change of heart. "You should kill him."
***
Gabrielle made her way to Elias' place. His bachelor party was in full swing. It not only disturbed the neighbours, even the pigs were affected. She decided to peek through the window before allowing herself in.
She poked her head in and got a view of things within. It made her gasp. There were three strippers in action, throwing their clothes around and flaunting their shapely bodies. And Elias, he was drunk stupid. One of them was having her way with him.
The bard bit her lip and decided to push her way in. Elias had some nerve. She was just about to go for the door when Elias stood up, his face flushed drunk.
"I'll be marrying that bitch tomorrow," he laughed as he
stumbled awkardly, landing his head into the chest of a bare naked
stripper. Gabrielle froze. How dare he called her names. They weren't
even married yet.
"Tell them again, Elias, why you're marrying her!" Elias' best friend Bud encouraged. He had his arms on another flirty stripper and have a glazed, drunk look in his eyes.
"The reason I'm- I'm marrying the bitch is 'cos..." Elias grinned as he waved his port around, making a mess on the floor. "She's the zeusdamned partner of Xena. What would people say, eh- when they learn I took her away from the warrior princess? ...I'll be famous!"
The men roared with laughter and toasted each other. Gabrielle gritted her teeth and banged the door down, her rage furious. When they saw her, everyone quietened down. Elias trembled and dropped his mug to the floor, his face pale. "Oh no... Gabrielle..."
"The wedding's off, Elias," Gabrielle glared. Even his friends cowered at the sight of her nasty staff. "You can forget about it."
"But Gabrielle-" Elias started but the end of her trusty staff silenced him. He tried looking as innocent as he could but she wasn't going to fall for his trick again.
"I've decided, Elias," Gabrielle declared. "You are a jerk. And I wanted to marry you for the wrong reasons. The wedding is off." There was finality in her voice and she stomped out, not even bothering to look back.
How could he?Gabrielle questioned herself as she felt hot tears form in her eyes. She tightened her grip on her staff and walked. She didn't know where she was going, but it didn't bother her. She needed a drink, to drown her sorrows. And there was a tavern right ahead...
***
"I'll only miss her, when I think of her
And I'll think of her, all the time
Likely I'll spend my days - hearing her turn of phrase
Things I found hard to praise - right now, would seem sublime
The truth is...
I'll Only miss her, when some stranger laughs
'Cause it's still her laugh - my hearts hears
Maybe in time - I guess, the longing will grow, the slightest bit less
And there will be moments - yes - when it disappears
I'll bet I'll forget her completely - in about a hundred years."
Xena rested her head against the table of the counter, her
face flushed and her eyes wet. In her hand, she still held a cup of
half-finished port. "That's it with Gabrielle... no one's ever gonna...
gonna patch that hole when she's gone."
"Exactly," the barkeep wiped his tears. "Nobody can replace her... ever."
Xena kept silent, her eyes moist as she listened to the singer crooning in her ears.
"Waking skies - at sunrise
Every sunset too
Seems to be - bringing me
Memories of you
Here and there - every where
Scenes that we once knew
And they all - just recall
Memories of you
(Oh) How I wish I could forget those, (those) happy yesteryears
That have left a rosary of tears
Your face beams - in my dreams
(In) Spite of all (that) I do
(And) Everything - seems to bring
Memories of you."
She sighed again as Gabrielle's face came to her mind.
***
The bard entered the tavern and found it almost empty. A
singer was on stage, crooning some love song. Just what she needed.
She went towards the bartender. She needed something to clear her
misery away. The performer wasn't bad in his craft actually:
"I'll never smile again
Until I smile at you
I'll never laugh again
What good would it do
For tears would fill my eyes
My heart would realize
That our romance is true
I'll never love again
I'm so in love with you
I'll never thrill again
To somebody new
Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you
Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you."
She spotted someone, a drunken mess by the counter. Her face was flushed red from drinking and also streaked with dried tears. Her warrior shoulders were slumped and Gabrielle had never seen her so depressed before. Was it really Xena?
"Gimme another," Xena rasped as she pushed away her empty mug.
Gabrielle walked towards her, concerned. The barkeep pushed
the refilled cup of port towards the warrior and she picked it up,
downing the contents in a single gulp. "Why didn't I tell her then,
when I had the chance?"
Gabrielle stopped behind Xena. What was she talking about?
"I loved her..." Xena whimpered, her back slumped and looking anything but a warrior. "But I just couldn't tell her. And now, she's gone. She's leaving me again, like when she left me for Perdicas."
It was about her, Gabrielle realised with horror.
"I wanted her to be happy... even if it means I'll be sad," Xena went on in her drunken slur. "I love her... that's why I wanted her to mary him... does that, does that make sense?"
"Looking ba-a-ack over my life
I can see where I caused you strife
But I know, oh yes I know
I'd never make that same mistake again
Looking ba-a-ack over my deeds
I can see signs a wise man heeds
And if I just ha-ad the chance
I'd never make that same mistake again
Once my cup was overflowing
But I gave nothing in retu-u-urn
Now I can't begin to te-ell you
What a lesson I have learned
Looking ba-a-ack over the slate
I can see love turned to hate
But I know, oh yes I know
I'd never make that same mistake again."
"It makes perfect sense, Xena," Gabrielle stood beside her, wiping away her stained tears. "Come on, let's go back."
"Gab- Gabrielle?" the warrior whispered, her features shocked. She cupped the bard's face, as if feeling if she was really there. "Is this a dream?"
"No Xena, I'm real," the bard smiled as she placed her hand on the warriors, feeling her touch her face.
"Why do I do, just as you say
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why don't I try - to forget
It must have been, that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying: "I have to wait"
I saw them all, just couldn't fall - 'til we met
It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found - the somebody who
Could make me be true, and could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad - thinking of you
Some others I've seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldn't do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you."
Xena stood up shakily. "I love you Gabrielle. With all my heart and soul. I'd loved you, adored you for a long time now..."
"Shh," the bard blinked back tears as she placed a finger on the warrior's red lips, silencing her. "I know."
"Your eyes are blue - your kisses too
I never knew - what they could do
I can't believe that you're in love with me
You are telling - everyone I know
I'm on your mind - each place you go
They can't believe that you're in love with me
I have always placed you - far (way up there) above me
I just can't (Could never) imagine - that you love me
(And) After all is said and done - to think that I'm the lucky (only) one
Cannot (I can't) believe that you're in love (can't believe that you're in
love.
..) with me."
The singer ended his crooning and took a graceful bow. "Thank you, thank you very much." He leapt off the stage, pulling off his wig.
"Are you still marrying Elias?" Xena asked Gabrielle, her eyes mirroring her fear.
"No Xena," Gabrielle brushed away her bangs, shaking her head. "It's over. Right now, I just want to be with you."
"I love you Gabrielle," Xena whispered as she hugged her tight.
"I love you too, Xena. Now let's go back..."
***
Disclaimer: No warrior's liver got busted during the production.
Starring:
Lucy Lawless---------------- Xena
Renee O'Connor-------------- Gabrielle
Kevin Smith----------------- Ares
Amazon Moon----------------- Narrator
Special Appearances by: Elvis, Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments, good or evil to go to me at amazon_moon@yahoo.com,thanks.
I look very much to hearing from you. :)