JUDICIAL LOVE
By Warriorjudge
OWNERSHIP DISCLAIMER The characters of Xena and
Gabrielle and others belong in their entirety to Universal/MCA, Renaissance
Pictures, and all the other powers that be Yadayadayada. No copyright infringement is intended. I
wrote this story at the urging of my muse; it should never be used for profit.
VIOLENCE – Yup!
LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This story involves both
love and hot sex between two consenting adult women (It’s a WARRIORJUDGE story
– What did you expect? If you don’t know who ALEXIS MORRAL CARRINGTON COLBY
DEXTER was (in other words, if you’re under 18) or if this type of story is
illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If
depiction of this nature disturbs you, GO WATCH POWER RANGERS.
FOUL LANGUAGE – I’m no Tarantino, but I have my
moments…
THANKS
To my BETA readers, mentors and guides: Sam Ruskin, (You’re
the greatest!!! Love ya!!!) and Stacia Seaman (the most thorough Beta on the
Xenaverse).
Comments & Feedback: Are most welcomed. Thank
you.
warriorjudge@hotmail.com
CHAPTER 9
It was quite late when the dashing Jeff Kale and the
beautiful Gabrielle O’Connor finished eating dinner at her apartment. The
dinner went fairly well. Jeff was very pleasant company; he was very polite and
attentive, and he was a good listener even though Gabrielle didn’t talk too
much. There was something calming about him. Numbing would be my choice of
wards, though Gabrielle.
On more than one occasion Jeff found himself listening to
Gabrielle talk about the Honorable Judge Lawless, but he displayed patience,
even interest. He realized that working with Judge Lawless was a far from
enjoyable or even positive experience, but it seemed to him that Gabrielle was
a little too worked up about it.
For Gabrielle, dinner went fine. A little boring actually. I
guess Xena set up new standards for interesting conversations for me. That’s
it…she ruined conversations for me. If there are no sparks, if there is no
battle, it’s numbing for me. She wasn’t even aware of the fact that she
talked about the judge most of the evening.
Around midnight, Gabrielle found herself standing with Jeff
at the threshold of her apartment.
"So, I guess this is goodnight,” he said.
There was silence. He looked at her lips, and then placed
his arms around her waist. She saw him leaning forward and down towards her.
Gabrielle felt herself pulled closer against him. She tilted her head up to
meet Jeff’s. He kissed her gently on her lips, and Gabrielle responded to his
touch by placing her hand behind his head and pulling him to her in order to
deepen the kiss. She opened her mouth and invited his tongue to taste her
mouth--an invitation that he gladly took. The kiss went on for several moments.
"That was nice, wasn’t it?” he asked, his breath a little
ragged.
"Yes, it was,” she replied and covered her mouth with her
hand.
He leaned towards her mouth in order to kiss her again, but
she stopped him by turning her head to the side.
He immediately pulled back "I’m sorry, I thought…” he seemed
almost lost.
"Oh, you shouldn’t apologize. It’s just that…I need some time,
you know,” she said. She felt she needed to do a lot of thinking.
"Besides, we have to save some for later,” she half-smiled. He
smiled back. Gabrielle thought she'd succeeded in putting his mind at ease.
He finally left after promising her he’d call the next day.
She said she would look forward to it, but didn’t sound particularly
enthusiastic about it. After she took a shower, she put on her nightgown, climbed
into bed, and turned off the lamp that stood on her dresser. The moonbeams
washed her room with pale bluish light. She felt uneasy being alone with her
thoughts that night and wished it wasn’t too late to wake up Tori and talk to
her about what was going on. Tori could be a kidder most of the time, but she
was also very mature and serious about a lot of things. Gabrielle knew she
could count on her friend's help.
Why did I invite him over
to my place tonight? Yes, he seems like a great guy, but I don’t feel fire or
sparks between us…sparks…that’s the second time I've used that word tonight. I
thought I made up my mind last time we were out on a date. And yet, today,
after seeing Xena with that lion-bitch-Simba-woman, I felt this strong urge to
date Jeff.
Gabrielle's thoughts
drifted to that night she'd spent at the judge’s house after they had visited
the crime scene. She remembered how the judge had burst into her bedroom with
only the gun and a towel wrapped around her body. She remembered how the judge
had told her that she didn’t want her career to be damaged by going head to
head with the D.A.’s office. She is
protective of me. She cares for me, with her tough attitude and all…Gabrielle
remembered how the judge had held her in her arms when she woke up screaming
because of a nightmare. It felt safe. It felt comforting; it felt good.
The scariest thing
was the way she'd felt when she saw the judge exercising in her private gym. What’s
happening to me? Why do I feel this way? Why do I think about her so much? Why
did it hurt when I saw her with Simba? Why do I let her get to me? Why did I
see her face when I kissed Jeff? Am I beginning to fall for her? It’s
impossible…I never felt this way towards a woman in my life. Besides there is a
huge difference between being curious about kissing a woman and actually
sleeping with one. I cannot possibly have sex with a woman, and I don’t care
how divine she looks. So, maybe I’m just being curious about Xena…that’s all.
It doesn’t make me gay. I’m sure a lot of women think about kissing their
girlfriends.
It’s not totally
uncommon to have those... romantic feelings about a person under the
circumstances that Xena and I met. I mean the whole mystery, fear, excitement,
and even danger that we’re experiencing, trying to catch the killer, stirs
romantic feelings towards one’s partner... it’s normal for me to have those
feelings... it happens all the time, just like men during a war...
Besides, I am just
not willing to live life as a gay woman. I don’t need people whispering behind
my back like people are talking about Xena behind her back. And what am I going
to tell my parents? I want to be normal. I want to be like everybody else. I
want to get married and have kids…I don’t want to be an outcast, I don’t want to
hang out in bars called The Pussy. I need stability. I need conformity. I want
a normal life. I don’t want to end up like Xena…screwing countless faceless
women for years…I want love and companionship.
Besides she can’t
love anyone, least of all me. She would just toy with me. If I showed her the
slightest hint of interest she would seduce me, fuck me, and leave me like she
did so many others. I don’t need this. I don’t want this. I won’t be another
faceless conquest. I won’t be another night of cheap sex. I won’t be another
notch in her belt.
Even if she did
love me, I don’t want to live my life as a lesbian…there are too many
sacrifices…too high price to pay…and it would make me feel less worthy in my
own eyes…I would feel as if I’m damaged, not being like everybody else. I need
people’s approval. Being a lesbian would make me feel less than perfect.
And she won’t love
me, simply because she can’t.
I have to stop
thinking about it. I have to stop thinking about her.
Gabrielle fell asleep
just a little before dawn.
**********
The next morning
Gabrielle woke up with a slight headache. She was tired, but she knew a long
day was ahead of her and so she took a quick shower to freshen up, drank a cup
of coffee, and hit the road, off to the judge’s house. I just hope I’ll make
it on time…I’m really not in the mood for arguing with her, I have enough on my
mind at the moment. She was glad she wouldn’t be home all day and would
miss Jeff’s phone call. She realized he would expect another date, maybe this
time at his place, and she was far from ready for that.
The moment that James
opened the large wooden door to the judge's residence, Gabrielle could hear the
sweet deep sounds of the cello. It was Bach’s Partite No.1 The prelude, she
thought. Walking into the house, she saw the judge sitting at the edge of an
old wooden chair, wearing a white silk shirt with long fluffy sleeves, black
pants, and no shoes, holding the magnificent instrument between her thighs.
The judge seemed so
absorbed in the playing, the sounds, and the divine music that she didn’t stop.
She didn’t give any sign that she was aware that Gabrielle was standing in the
main hall listening to her. In fact, she wasn’t aware of the blonde drinking
in with thirsty eyes the sight of the
beautiful blue-eyed woman, oblivious to the world, stroking the cello with
strong yet gentle hands; holding the instrument--resembling a woman’s body in
its shape--in the most sensuous of ways.
Gabrielle was
mesmerized by the sight of the breathtaking judge possessing the cello with her
body, commanding it, producing godhood from its strings. The swaying of the
judge's body, the expression on her face, enchanted her. She didn’t realize
she'd stopped breathing. A shiver ran down her spine and her skin crawled. The
sight and sounds stupefied her. She forgot about the rest of the world,
concentrating only on the sight before her.
When the judge
finished, she lifted her head and saw Gabrielle standing in front of her. The
sounds of the cello still echoed in the hall.
"Morning,” the judge
greeted, still holding the cello between her legs.
The judge's voice
broke the spell Gabrielle was under, pulling her back from paradise into the
real world. "Good morning, Xena.” She drew out a long breath of air. With
widened, glittering eyes she said, "Wow,... The way
you... p... play... Jesus... it’s... god, wow.”
"Speechless at last,”
the judge chuckled. "Thanks... I think,” she stood up, pulling the instrument
from between her legs and leaning it against the stand.
"Don’t let it get to
your head,” Gabrielle smirked. She felt she had to say something, anything, so
that the judge would not sense how overwhelmed she was by her.
"Ouch, that hurt.”
The judge placed her palm above her heart and made a face.
The display made
Gabrielle laugh deeply.
"Care to join me for
breakfast?” the judge inquired.
"Thank you.”
Gabrielle felt a little lightheaded, intoxicated; enchanted, even. She couldn’t
understand why, but she felt as if she was walking on clouds. She refused to allow
herself to think that the judge had something to do with that unique and
dangerous feeling.
They sat at the
dining table by the pool at the back of the house, sharing breakfast.
After a few moments,
Gabrielle mustered up enough guts to say, "I never thought playing the cello
could seem so sexy.” I hope she won’t take it the wrong way...
"So, it seemed sexy
to you?” The judge raised an eyebrow, leaned back her chair, and observed her
assistant from above the rim of her glass.
"Yes it did.” Shit,
my ears are on fire... I must be blushing like hell. You’re not Mother Theresa,
Gab, cut the blushing out.
"What made it seem
sexy?”
Somebody call the
fire department. I can’t believe she is doing it to me. I knew this would
happen. She’s trying to check me out, to see how far I'll go, to examine me.
I’m not gonna fall for this.
"The way the cello is
being held, is all,” Gabrielle muttered, not meeting the judge's eyes.
"I see,” the judge
said suggestively, but out of the goodness of her heart (As if... ) she
let this one slide, deciding not to make the young attorney any more
embarrassed than she already was.
"Would you teach me
to play the way you do?” asked Gabrielle, her eyes filled with shimmering hope.
She almost seemed like a child.
"I tried to,
yesterday, but you had better things to do... ” the judge said.
Don’t get mad, get
even. "I made other plans when I
learned you might be occupied yourself with Dr. Straub,” Gabrielle replied, and
placed her fork on her plate rather angrily.
"WHAT?” the judge
exclaimed, leaning forward.
"You heard me.”
Gabrielle began to fear she might have gone a tad bit too far, but she kept her
voice steady and firm.
"What are you talking
about?”
"At her clinic... I
heard the things she said to you... ”
"You had no right to
eavesdrop on us,” the judge's voice grew louder.
"I didn’t mean to.”
Gabrielle sounded apologetic.
"She wanted me back
and I told her ‘no’... Unlike some of us, I’m capable of saying the word ‘no’.”
The judge’s unsubtle
hint made steam come out of the young blonde’s ears. She just lost control.
"Bitch!”
"Lawyer!” the judge
spat back.
Gabrielle stood up
and stormed back into the house. The judge immediately regretted her words and
ran after the storming lawyer. She finally caught up with her and grabbed her
by her arm. "Wait!”
Gabrielle, being no
match for the judge’s physical strength, halted.
"Look, I’m sorry,
Gabrielle. I don’t know where that nasty remark came from. You are entitled to
do whatever you wish in your spare time. You don’t owe me anything. I’m sure
Jeff’s a wonderful guy,” the judge said.
"I’m sorry too, about
my remark regarding you and Dr. Straub.” Gabrielle lowered her gaze. Gabrielle
trying to pull away from the judge, and the judge eased her grip on Gabrielle.
"Let’s go back to our
breakfast.” The judge let out a sigh of relief.
"OK,” Gabrielle
responded, and they walked together back to the dining table.
"I took the liberty
of going through some of the personnel files last night without you. I hope you
don’t mind.”
"I wished you would
have waited for me so that we could do this together.”
"Well, fear not.
There are still hundreds of files to read. We’ll begin after breakfast,” the
taller woman said.
*********
They both sat at the
judge’s huge wooden desk in her study, which was currently littered with
countless piles of files.
"Remember Dr.
Straub’s profile. Don’t bother with reading women’s files, men over 50, or
married men.”
"What about men who
live in apartment buildings? After all, what the killer does with the bodies
takes privacy and--”
"Yeah, but our killer
might be renting a warehouse or something like that for the killings, so he
could be living in an apartment building,” explained the judge. "If you come
across men who match the doctor’s profiles, put them in a pile behind me so
that they won’t mix up with other files.”
I guess I won’t be
hearing a please from her. "Fine,”
Gabrielle said. "By the way, once we finish going through the files, then
what?”
"We’ll start bringing
people in for questioning.”
Ooooo... beware the
holy inquisition, Gabrielle thought.
The judge put her
reading glasses on the tip of her nose and buried herself in the file she was
holding. She looks so funny and cute when she does that. Cute??? I cannot
believe that word came to mind in reference to her. Gabrielle turned her
focus to the files. They sat and read for several hours, occasionally
consulting with one another on the more difficult files. After a brief lunch,
they went back to the study and continued reading until 10:00 p.m.
"Enough... I can’t
read anymore today,” Gabrielle said, drawing out a long breath.
"Me neither,” the
judge admitted. She took off her glasses, placed them back in their case and
rubbed her eyes with the fingertips of both hands. "Do you wanna eat
something?”
"No, I better get
back home. It’s getting real late and I have a long drive home.”
"May I make a
suggestion?” the judge asked.
"Sure.”
"Why don’t you spend
the night over at my place. There is no reason for you to drive an hour back to
your house just to sleep, only to return tomorrow morning. Besides, I promised
you cello lessons. You wouldn’t want to make a liar out of me, now, would ya?”
"Well... you have a
point there, and I enjoyed last time... Sure, why not?”
"Great. I’ll notify
James so that he can prepare your bedroom. What would you like to have for
dinner, Gabrielle?”
"After that huge
lunch we had, I must admit I’m not hungry yet.”
"So, do you wanna
take a shower and turn in?” The judge was afraid that Gabrielle would answer
‘yes’ to that question. She was hoping the attorney would want to stay up and
spend some time with her.
"As a matter of fact,
I was hoping you’d allow me to swim in the pool. It’s a rather warm
evening,... ”
"Sure. Just so that
you’ll know, I don’t have a bathing suit since... ”
"You swim in the
nude.”
Shit... I cannot
believe she actually knows me this well. She can see right through me and it
scars the shit out of me. I don’t understand.. why do I let her get so close to
me?
"Correctamundo. So,
I’ll tell him to bring you one of my sports bras and a pair of boxers, will
that do?”
"It would be even
nicer if you joined me... ” Gabrielle tried not to sound bashful, but failed.
Stop doing it!
Stop flirting with her!
"Would you like me to
join you?” the judge asked. She needed to hear Gabrielle’s answer.
"Very much so,”
Gabrielle smiled.
You’re doing it
again! Stop it! Gabrielle’s mind
screamed.
What in God’s name
do you think you’re doing, you idiot, you’re gonna fall for her, can’t you see
that? One look at her naked, firm, delicious body, along with a heart-to-heart
conversation and you’re done for. May I remind you that she has a
boyfriend? There is no way I’m losing
this battle. I’ll just politely say ‘no,’ go upstairs, brush my teeth, and go
to sleep.
"Well, then, I’ll be
delighted,” she smiled back. She didn’t want to admit it but she was
lightheaded.
They both went
upstairs where they stripped and put on sports bras and boxers, then met
downstairs by the pool. It truly was a beautiful night. The moon was full and a
warm breeze stroked the two feminine bodies that stood still, one next to the
other. Xena looked at Gabrielle and felt a dull ache in her chest that she
hadn’t felt in years. She couldn’t remember its true nature or quality, but she
knew she should be scared, and she was.
The water sparkled
with silver shades from the moon on this quiet night. Gabrielle felt restless,
even excited. She wanted something to happen, but her body shivered in fear at
the thought. Gabrielle felt a weight on her heart that made it difficult for
her to breathe. Calm down, Gabrielle, just calm down. Nothing is happening,
nothing. She turned her head to the right and passed a quick examining look
at the taller woman’s body.
You’ll have to be
like Fonzie, Xena... remember Fonzie from "Happy Days”? He was cool and so will
you be. Stay cool. It was just a look, a miserable look, nothing more. I need a
cold bath. And with that thought in
her mind she jumped, head first, into the pool. She heard Gabrielle’s body
impact with the water as well. The wet judge gazed at the splashing water as
Gabrielle reemerged, water cascading down her well-toned body, down her firm
round breasts and sculpted abs. Xena licked her lips at the sight of Gabrielle’s
rippling muscles.
Gabrielle and Xena
began swimming a series of laps till they were both breathless and weary.
Gabrielle was the first to climb out of the water. She sat at the rim of the
pool, watching as the raven-haired woman swam towards her. Gabrielle’s jaw
dropped when her green eyes met with the sight of the judge coming out of the
water. Her hair was slicked back, accentuating her breathtaking face, and the
water stroked her body, dripping over every curve in her perfect form. The
judge grabbed two towels and wrapped one around Gabrielle’s quivering, wet
shoulders.
"Thanks,” Gabrielle
raised her head to look at the judge, who replied simply, "You’re welcome.”
The judge sat down
next to her near the edge of the pool. They shared silence at first as they
looked at the now calmed water.
"You're a good
swimmer,” the judge complimented the attorney.
"Thank you, so are
you.”
"Oooo, stop you’re
making me blush,” the judge chuckled.
"Oh, excuse me for
forgetting you couldn’t take a complement,” Gabrielle chuckled, and looked at
her partner.
"I’m not that bad,
really,” the judge wore a somewhat serious expression.
"I know you’re not,
but you’re far from being an easy woman to get along with, either,” the
counselor commented.
"I know,” the judge
admitted.
"But I guess that’s
your charm,” Gabrielle couldn’t believe the wards that came out of her mouth. Stop
it, you idiot, you’re making a pass at her, don’t you see?... I do not... do
too... not.
"I’m not charming.”
The judge felt as if she would blush like a schoolgirl... In a Catholic
school.
"It is my belief that
you are well aware of it--that charm of yours, I mean.” Gabrielle couldn’t look
at the judge anymore; it felt too intense already.
"Maybe you’re right.”
The judge raised her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs. She sounded
somewhat wondrous, looking ahead at the water. "On second thought, I couldn’t
charm the women in my life to stay with me.”
"Maybe you made some
bad choices picking your lovers,” Gabrielle suggested. Her voice was gentle and
comforting. She looked at the judge intently, willing the judge to look at her
as well.
"No. It’s not that
the separations weren't entirely their faults,” the judge said, then paused.
"They weren’t bad people, really... Well maybe except Nell. She was so skinny
that she could make Lara Flynn Boyle look like Miss Piggy.”
They both
laughed.
"If a couple breaks
up, there is never one party that is solely guilty in the separation,”
Gabrielle agreed and nodded.
"Why did you break up
with that guy, what’s his name?”
"Steve, and he was
the only serious boyfriend I have ever had. I guess I broke it off because I
didn’t really love him, not like I knew I’m capable of loving. I felt there was
something missing, and I didn’t think it was fair to either of us if we stayed
together,” Gabrielle replied. "How about you?”
"Well I’ve been in
three long-term relationships. The first was Dr. Simba. She was straight when I
met her. I was in law school and she was in med school. I met her, seduced her,
and she became mine. We moved in with one another after a week of dating. But I
spent too much time at the library and almost no time at home. She complained
about me not being there all the time. But I had dreams of becoming this great
successful lawyer and she was alone, without me, her lover. I can't really
blame her for seeking love and togetherness elsewhere. I wasn’t there for her.”
"What about the third
one?”
"Yeah, aside from
Simba and Nell, there was Belinda. It’s been ages since I spoke her name out
loud,” the judge sighed. It wasn’t easy for her to talk about it, but she
somehow felt safe discussing it with Gabrielle.
"What happened?”
Gabrielle asked.
"I was busy making a
name for myself. Once again I spent most of my nights and days in my office and
almost no time at home. I guess work was a very good excuse for me. She loved
me, and I didn’t return that love. I was too scared to give into love at that
point. It made me feel weak and helpless. I couldn’t stand the thought of being
at the mercy of another human being, the thought that my happiness would be
dependent on another person.
"She made me pay
for my absence. I was under a lot of pressure at times, and she made it clear
to me that she wouldn’t support me or be there for me if I needed her. She let
me know she wouldn’t be there for me, to carry with me the burden of my stress.
I made her feel alone and she paid me back in the same currency, loneliness.”
The judge paused and
took in a long breath as if preparing herself for the rest of the tale. "I
remember the day my brother died. He died of cancer. He was only 20 years old.
I was devastated. I felt so heavy, hurt, and tired. I was very close to him. He
was a wonderful person. He was my best friend, and the first one I told I was
gay.”
The judge's blue eyes
began to fill with tears, which she fought back, trying to maintain a calm and
steady tone of voice.
"He was so
understanding about it, and he loved me just the same. When I got the news of
his death I was in my office. It was around midnight. I needed comfort so
desperately; I needed Belinda like I'd never needed her in my life. I drove
home. When I got there I stuck my key into the keyhole, but her key was jammed
on the other side, and so I couldn’t open the door. I knocked on the door and
there was no answer. Since her key was on the other side I knew she was there.
I began pounding on the door like a lunatic, crying out my agony and grief. I
can still remember how hot the tears felt on my cold face.”
The judge let all her
defenses down. The tears that had been trapped in her beautiful eyes were now
washing her face.
"I wailed till she
opened up. I begged her to let me in. She refused. I told her I was sorry that
I stayed so late at the office.” The judge’s voice betrayed her and began
trembling.
"She told me to
go back to my office and spend the night there. I told her that my brother had
passed away. She said she didn’t care. I begged her to let me in, to hold me,
and she closed the door in my face.”
Gabrielle looked at the
judge with eyes full of sorrow and warmth. She felt a tremendous pain in her
heart for the judge. Moisture began to cloud her vision as well. She felt
confused by of the intensity of the feelings the judge's sorrow stirred in her.
She didn’t want to fight them that night.
"Come here,” she said
with a broken voice and opened her arms, inviting the judge to take comfort.
The judge's towel slipped from her shoulders and dropped to the floor as she
silently moved into the younger woman's embrace. Gabrielle wrapped her arms
around the judge and held her tightly against her body, rocking her, embracing
the quivering shoulders and stroking the damp black hair with a gentle hand.
"Let it out,
Xena... It’s OK... Belinda was heartless... It doesn’t matter how pissed she was
about you coming home late from work, she should have been there for you when
you needed her,” Gabrielle soothed the weeping woman. She couldn’t believe how
fragile and sensitive the judge could be. She also noticed that the pain in her
own heart didn’t go away. She felt Xena’s arms wrap around her waist and pull
her even closer.
"Thank you,”
Gabrielle heard the judge whisper in her ear. Gabrielle closed her eyes and
melted into the judge’s embrace.
A few long moments
passed with the judge and her assistant in each other’s arms. When they finally
broke apart, the judge seemed somewhat uneasy and embarrassed.
"I’m sorry,” she said
quietly and wiped the tears from her face. "I've never told anyone about
Belinda not letting me into the house the day my brother died. I was ashamed, I
suppose. I thought I deserved it.”
"Don’t be sorry,
Xena. I’m glad that you trusted me enough to share what’s in your heart with
me. And you shouldn’t be ashamed, you did nothing wrong. She should have put
the disputes aside for another time. A day when someone loses a loved one isn’t
a day for petty wars,” she said and smiled, but her expression was serious and
a bit strained. The judge’s red luscious lips caught her gaze. Gabrielle could
hear the blood rushing in her ears.
The stare didn’t go
unnoticed by the judge, who found herself guilty of doing exactly the same
thing. An awkward silence descended between them.
"Why don’t we go
inside? It’s getting chilly out here,” the judge finally said.
"You’re right, I’m
freezing.” Gabrielle quickly agreed and stood up. "What time is it?”
"Jesus, I don’t
understand why can’t we shut our traps at night and go to sleep at a reasonable
hour. It’s 1:30 a.m.” the judge smirked.
"Are you tired?”
Gabrielle asked.
The judge took a few
moments to think, "No, not really. Are you?”
"Nope,” Gabrielle
answered. As a matter of fact not only did she not feel tired, but she felt
exuberant, full of a strange and powerful energy.
"Tell you what, let's
go up, take a shower, and we'll meet back down here for a cello lesson?” the
judge suggested.
"Cello lesson? In the
middle of the night? Are you out of your mind?”
"Relax, it’s not like
I have neighbors nearby,” Xena stated. "Come on, It’ll be fun!”
Just what I need,
to see her playing the cello after seeing her half naked and wet. Gabrielle frowned in her mind. "What about James?”
"Are you kidding, he
slept through an earthquake that scored 4.6 on the Richter scale. No way we’ll
wake him up, trust me,” the judge replied mischievously.
"Then I’ll see you in
a short while,” smiled Gabrielle and began to go up the stairs wondering
whether the judge was staring at her backside... which she was.
*********
A short while later
they met back down in the main-hall. Gabrielle was wearing boxer shorts and a
silk shirt that belonged to the judge and was visibly too big for her.
Damn, she looks
too good in my shirt, thought the
judge.
"And we meet
again," the judge smirked.
"Yeah,"
Gabrielle felt a little bashful. She wasn't sure why. She guessed it had
something to do with the fact that it was very late at night, she was wearing
silk, and the judge was openly appraising her. "So, shall we begin?"
"Sure, sit down
in this chair," the judge motioned her to the old wooden chair that was
positioned in the middle of the main hall, opposite the note stand.
Gabrielle saw the
judge taking the cello off its stand. "OK, spread your legs a
little," the judge said casually. A little too casually, perhaps.
Gabrielle's heart skipped a beat that she couldn't account for. "Now, let
the cello sit comfortably between them."
The judge pinned the
cello into the small hole in the floor to keep it steady and leaned the neck of
the instrument on Gabrielle's shoulders, placing it gently between her legs.
"Here's the
bowl," the dark woman guided Gabrielle. "It goes in your right hand.
Hold it like this and mind your wrist, it has to be loose," the judge
showed her and Gabrielle did as instructed.
"Very well. Now
I'm going to teach you the Do Re Mi... You know, the note scale up to the first
octave and you'll have to practice it, OK?" Gabrielle nodded and her
emerald eyes sparkled with excitement and awe.
The judge went on
teaching Gabrielle with amazing patience almost till dawn.
"I think that's
enough for one day. You are welcome to practice in my house anytime you want,
Gabrielle," the instructor said.
Gabrielle felt a lump
in her throat, "You have know idea how much this means to me. You've
fulfilled a dream for me, Xena, Thank you."
"You’re
welcome," the judge smiled.
"I fell in love
with this instrument when I first heard Brahms' first sonata for piano and
cello. I remember closing my eyes and imagining I was the one that played the
cello," Gabrielle reflected, still holding the instrument between her
thighs.
"I rarely play
it because it always makes me cry," the judge admitted under her breath.
"Sharon bought me a CD with only the piano part on it so that it'll
accompany my cello."
"Would you do me
a favor and play it for me, now?" asked Gabrielle.
The judge wanted to
refuse her, because it was too emotional and personal for her and she couldn't
trust herself in that state. But the pleading in Gabrielle's voice and the look
in her eyes made it impossible for her to refuse or deny her. The judge set the
CD player on the right track.
"Would you like
to play it with me?" The dark woman asked.
"How?"
"I'll show
you." The judge motioned Gabrielle to move closer to the edge of the old
wooden chair. She shifted her leg over the chair and settled herself behind
Gabrielle. Her breasts were slightly pressed against the younger woman's back,
her inner thighs pressed against Gabrielle's outer thighs. They both were very
aware of the proximity, of the warmth and softness of their bodies. Gabrielle
felt Xena's warm breath tickling the back of her head.
"Are you
comfortable?” the judge asked.
"Place your hands on my forearms, so that you can feel
my movements, only don’t hold them too tight, so that I may play freely.” I
must be out of my fuckin’ mind…Do judges have the authority by law to issue a
warrant to have themselves committed to a mental institution? Where am I going
with this? What am I doing? There is absolutely positively, beyond any
reasonable and unreasonable doubt, nothing I can give her. Even if she wanted
me, I cannot make her happy. I wish I could just fuck her with no emotion
whatsoever, dump her the next morning, and shove the memory of the cheap sex in
that special drawer in the back of my head with the little sign that says ‘Dead
thoughts and memories storage.’
The counselor nodded and tenderly placed her hands on the
judge’s forearms, which were already settled to play. The light feathery touch
gave the judge goose bumps and Gabrielle couldn’t help but notice it.
The judge’s body encompassed the younger woman’s body as she
played the sounds that surrounded their minds and sliced their souls. As the
music reached its peaks of agony and exhilaration, the judge’s body tightened
against Gabrielle’s smaller frame. Gabrielle closed her eyes; she put her other
senses in charge of absorbing the unfamiliar sensations that assaulted her. The
sounds of deep sorrow over a great loss that raised from the cello penetrated
her heart and floated around her brain tantalizing her, arousing her, building
up the excitement, the ecstasy towards the mental release. The judge’s power
and fire engulfed her and brutally stroked Gabrielle’s senses. Her movements,
the rhythm of her breath, her passion, her sweet scent, her heat, her presence
so close behind her.
Gabrielle knew the music well, and so she moved her body in
an amazing accuracy and sync with the judge, as if they were old dancing
partners.
For Gabrielle, it was an overwhelming experience. She felt
she was being torn by two levels of existence, the physical one and the mental
one.
After the storm subsided and silence descended once again on
the main hall, Gabrielle felt a great pressure in her chest that made it hard
for her to breathe. She was afraid to turn and look back at the judge.
Nevertheless, she did so, slowly, tentatively.
She saw that the judge’s shoulders slumped, and silent tears
trickled down her beautiful face. The judge smiled.
"I told you it always makes me cry like a…” the judge couldn’t
finish the sentence, for Gabrielle’s lips claimed hers. Gabrielle kissed her
intently, longingly, and passionately. Gabrielle placed her fingertips on the
judge’s jawline while she hungrily sucked and nibbled Xena’s soft lips.
The judge gave in to the intoxicating sensations. Her
eyelids became too heavy, and so she closed her eyes, feeling utterly helpless
against Gabrielle’s warmth and want. She responded to Gabrielle’s kiss,
delicately kissing her back, licking her lips, capturing Gabrielle’s lower lip
and vigorously suckling it. The judge didn’t even stop to contemplate the
situation; all she knew was the immense need to keep on kissing, not to break
the delicious contact.
Gabrielle succumbed to the judge’s eager tongue and she
parted her swollen lips, granting the judge access to her mouth’s cavern. The
judge’s tongue immediately plunged into Gabrielle’s hot, wet, and accepting
mouth.
The judge held her cello in one hand and wrapped her other
arm around Gabrielle’s waist in an attempt to increase the pressure between the
two bodies. Gabrielle moaned loudly into the judge’s mouth, which caused the
judge to kiss her even harder.
Gabrielle’s heart pounded wildly in her chest and her breath
became ragged just like the judge’s. Her hands began to stroke Xena’s face.
After outlining every curve, she ran her hands to the back of the judge’s head,
stroking her hair, entangling her fingers in her coal-black tresses and pulling
her close in order to deepen the kiss further.
Gabrielle caught the judge’s probing tongue between her lips
and sucked it hard, deeper into her mouth. She felt so out of control in her
passion for the dark woman at that moment that all she could feel was the
judge’s lips and tongue stoking a fire in her, and the judge’s moaning drove
her insane with desire.
Both their tongues were stroking each other now. Both women
fed on one another, oblivious to the world, to their thoughts, and to their
fears.
The judge suddenly pulled back, tearing her lips from the
younger woman. Aside from shock and confusion, Gabrielle’s face showed
disappointment and hurt. It occurred to the young attorney that she didn’t feel
strange for kissing a woman. It felt rather natural to her.
"You shouldn’t have done that!” The judge rasped, trying to
moderate her breathing back to a normal rhythm.
Gabrielle’s chest was still heaving, and her voice a tad bit
unsteady, "I know. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, Xena.”
The judge’s expression turned into one of anger. She pulled
herself up off the chair. She settled the cello on its stand and began pacing.
"You should be sorry!” Her voice was cold. "I’m not an idiot, you know. It
won’t work. I won’t let you pull the ‘let’s seduce the dyke and have my pussy
licked properly for a change’ shit on me.”
"That wasn’t my intention,” Gabrielle said, catching the
judge’s raging eyes.
The judge kept on pacing in front of the blonde woman who
was still flushed from the kissing. "What the fuck were you thinking?”
"Look, you didn’t exactly push me away... You cooperated! You
kissed me back!” Gabrielle thought it was time to stop being so defenseless and
fight back. She couldn’t understand any of the insanity that took place earlier
when she and the judge had been kissing like there was no tomorrow, but she
didn’t think she was the only one to blame. Does this mean she’s attracted
to me?
"Well, you started it!” the judge accused her harshly.
"Oh, that’s very mature of you,” Gabrielle exclaimed and got
up to stand in front of the now-still judge.
"Look, in light of
what happened, I don’t think we should be working together. I would appreciate
it if you withdraw from the case.”
"Oh, here we go
again, the ‘quit the case’ routine... I have a better idea, care to hear me
out?”
"Go ahead,” the judge
couldn’t sound any less enthusiastic. Why did she kiss me?
"Why don’t you stop
running away from things and start dealing with them. I suggest we talk like
two adults about what happened between us tonight, how about it?” Shut up!
What are you doing? You don’t want to find out what happened between you and
her. Ignorance can sometimes be such bliss. You don’t need this mess in your
life. Don’t think about it anymore, just imagine it never happened.
"Fine. I want to know
why you kissed me,” the judge said.
"I felt..um... an
urge... I guess. I can’t really explain it... I... um... feel things to... towards
you. You are a very impressive woman, Xena, and you impress me, challenge me,
and charm me. I know it sounds insane, and I know we’ve only known each other
for several days, but you managed to touch me... deep inside. I feel I want to
know all of you. I don’t understand it. It’s new and scary for me.” She paused
to take a breath. "And you?” Gabrielle
felt her face was burning up. She thanked God that the main hall was dimly lit.
The judge cast her
eyes down, not meeting the other woman's gaze "I know what you mean. I think I
f... feel the same,” she stammered.
Gabrielle couldn’t
contain a smile. She felt a sort of happiness she'd never known before.
The judge cleared her
throat, "So what now?”
"I think we should
take things slowly,” answered the blonde, looking intently at the judge’s face
in order to examine her reaction. What are you saying? Her mind asked.
"What are you
saying?” Asked the judge.
"I would like for us
to go on and explore the possibility of us together,” Gabrielle said.
You are not a
lesbian, Gabrielle. You've never slept with a woman in your entire life. The
very thought of it makes you... But I kissed her, and I liked it... I more than
liked it. She would only bed you and ditch you once she’s through with you, you
know her and her reputation... Don’t do this to yourself. It’s not worth it.
The judge turned and
faced away from the piercing green orbs. "Look, Gabrielle, I don’t get involved
with straight women. I always got screwed like this in the past. I don’t like
the notion of being a test drive for you, especially if feelings are involved
here, and they obviously are.”
"Look at me, Xena,”
asked Gabrielle.
When the judge didn’t
turned around to face her, she asked again, this time placing a warm,
comforting hand on the tall woman’s shoulder. "Please, Xena, please look at me.
I need to see your eyes.”
The judge
surrendered, and turned on her heels. She looked down into Gabrielle’s eyes.
She saw something she didn’t recognize there that made her both afraid and
elated.
"I’ll never do
anything that would hurt you,” Gabrielle’s voice trembled. She had never said
anything like that to anyone in her entire life.
"You can’t promise me
that,” the judge muttered.
"Yes, I can,”
Gabrielle responded with such conviction that a shiver ran down the taller
woman’s spine.
No way, Xena. I am
not letting you do this to yourself. It’s high time you learned to watch out
when your heart is concerned. No relationships with straight women. Am I making
myself clear?
"I guess we need
some... rules between us, as to how exactly are we gonna go about things... you
know... ” said the judge.
She’s willing to
date me... YES! Gabrielle’s mind
reeled.
"As you know, this is
all very new to me, Xena. I have my fears to deal with, so I suggest we take
things slowly between us.”
"And by ‘slow’ you
mean... ?”
"To wait with sex.
I’m asking you to be patient with me, and wait till I feel I’m ready.” In
truth, it wasn’t because she didn’t find the judge attractive - she did find
her... very attractive, and when she touched her, it made her skin burn, and
awoke tremendous desire in her. Gabrielle feared that if the judge had sex with
her, it would be easier for the judge to leave her. It would be easier for the
judge to restrain her heart, and take the easy way out.
But that wasn’t the
only reason. Gabrielle lacked the experience of having sex with women and she
didn’t know whether she would like it or not. And what if she and the judge had
sex and Gabrielle was be repulsed by it? She'd promised the judge she wouldn’t
hurt her, and she intended to keep her promise. She also felt insecure because
she wasn’t sure how to please a woman sexually. She realized the judge had lots
of experience and she was genuinely concerned about disappointing the judge in
this area.
"A..are y..you
attracted... to me?” the judge raised the shields around her heart in
anticipation of a possible hit.
Why do I sound
like an imbecile? I defended murderers and my voice didn’t even tremble, and
now I’m stammering like Derek Jacobi in ‘I, Claudius,’ the judge wondered, admonishing herself.
Gabrielle smiled
widely both with her lips and her eyes. She took a step closer and closed the
gap between herself and the judge. She eased delicate fingers into the judge’s
tresses and pulled her head down for a soft kiss.
The judge wrapped her
arms around Gabrielle’s waist and pulled her close against her body. At the
moment of impact Gabrielle let out a guttural moan that fueled a fire inside of
the judge’s stomach. She craved for more contact. Gabrielle sensed the desire
in her partner and so she pressed Xena’s head harder down on her and probed her
lips with her tongue, demanding entrance. Once the judge gave her entrance, the
pink muscle explored thoroughly, making the judge moan loudly.
Xena felt that her
heart was about to burst out of her chest. She needed so much more. She needed
to taste Gabrielle’s warm skin, to sample her the sweetness of her flesh. She reluctantly
broke the kiss, wishing she could be at all places at the same time. Her lips
traveled downward, placing many small kisses on her chin and the corner of the
blonde's mouth. From there the judge nibbled down the younger woman’s throat,
leaving trails of burning wet fire. The more the judge tasted, the more her
appetite for this beautiful woman increased. She found a sensitive spot on
Gabrielle’s neck just below her ear and began sucking and biting the warm
flesh, making Gabrielle shiver with need. The sucking became harder and she
broke Gabrielle’s skin. She realized the counselor would wear a bruise on her
neck for a few days, but neither of them minded at that point.
"Oh, Xena,” moaned
Gabrielle, beginning to feel weakness in her legs, which she feared might
collapse under her.
The judge took her
exploration upward. She blew a hot stream of air into the younger woman’s ear
and felt Gabrielle shudder. She began to lick her ear and nibble her earlobe,
biting the tip with her teeth. The need to pleasure Gabrielle was overwhelming.
The whimpers and moans that escaped Gabrielle’s throat caused a delicious pain
in the judge’s heart and sexual core.
Both women’s desire
was raised even higher.
Gabrielle’s head fell
back and her eyes were shut tight. She sensed the judge’s hungry mouth
beginning its descent, and so she raised to stand on her tiptoes to accommodate
the judge, imagining their lips meeting again.
Xena accepted the
silent invitation and her hot luscious lips trailed down to kiss Gabrielle’s
cleavage. Xena’s lips kissed the tender pale flesh of the valley between the
young attorney’s breasts. Gabrielle ceased to breathe. She was excited beyond
belief. When she felt Xena’s tongue running back and forth between her breasts,
she pressed Xena’s head harder down on her, sensing her nipples harden.
The judge made her
way back up and claimed Gabrielle’s lips once more. Gabrielle eagerly captured
the offered lips with her own, and began sucking and biting first the lower lip
then the upper one, licking it on occasion and driving the judge wild with
desire. A low grunt escaped Xena’s throat. She couldn’t believe the effect the
younger woman had on her. Xena delved her long fingers into Gabrielle’s short
blonde hair and pushed her head harder onto hers. Gabrielle went on hungrily
devouring her.
The kissing went on
for several long moments, until they were both flushed and breathless.
"We have a long day
ahead of us tomorrow,” the judge
remarked once her breath and heartbeat slowed.
"I know,” muttered
Gabrielle, who was still willingly captive in the judge’s arms.
"We should go to
sleep, it’s almost dawn,” the judge said, enjoying the sensation of holding
Gabrielle in a gentle embrace.
"You right, Xena.”
muttered Gabrielle sounding almost sad. Bummer.
"Come, I’ll escort
you to your bedroom,” chuckled the judge.
They both walked to
the bedrooms upstairs hand in hand. Once they reached Gabrielle’s bedroom they
stopped.
"I’ve invited Tammy
and Sharon for dinner tomorrow. You’ll stay and eat dinner with us, won’t you?”
"Of course,”
Gabrielle replied. "But after dinner I’m going back to my apartment. I haven’t
been there in a while. I have to check what’s up with Tori, my roommate,”
responded Gabrielle.
The judge felt a
slight sting. "I understand,” she muttered.
"But I would like to
spend the next night here with you again, if you’ll have me,” she said.
"Well... Let me
think... ” The judge had a mischievous look in her glittering eyes.
"You tease,”
Gabrielle snickered and, feeling bold enough to push her luck with Judge Dread
in light of her new status, pinched the judge’s rear. "If you won’t have me,
I’ll have to sue you for sexual harassment in the workplace as a payback.”
"One look at you and
one look at me and the jury won’t buy the sexual harassment bullshit,” the
judge chuckled.
"Oh, you think so?”
cooed Gabrielle, raising both her eyebrows.
"No,” the judge said
seriously. "You truly are a very beautiful woman, Gabrielle,” she said.
"So are you, Xena,”
They kissed again.
"Xena?”
"Yeah?”
"Are you going to
tell Tammy and Sharon and James about us?”
"I would like to, but
if you don’t want to, I won’t. It’s your call. I hope you're not ashamed of
being with me... ,” Xena’s voiced trailed off.
"I don’t mind if
James, Sharon, and Tammy were to know, but for the time being, I don’t wish to
make it a public knowledge. I don’t want people to know. It’s not because of
you, Xena. It just that... there are so many uncertainties and I don’t feel like
having the entire judicial system in San Francisco know. It’s no one's business... and there is also the issue of my
parents,” Gabrielle explained.
The judge couldn’t
help but feel hurt, but nevertheless she maintained her famous, or rather,
notorious stoic expression. "I understand.”
Truth of the matter
was, she really did understand. What if Gabrielle decided that she didn’t want
to live a gay life, or what if she decided she didn’t want to be with her? Why
should she suffer the consequences of the gay stigma if she wasn’t sure of
anything? Sure it was San Francisco, but it was still far from being LaLaLand.
The judge understood
that she herself didn’t give a fuck what people thought of her because she was
damn good at what she did and she was stinking rich, but things were different
for Gabrielle. She hadn’t yet made a name for herself.
The judge realized she was hurt because
Gabrielle wasn’t sure she really wanted her.
What the fuck did
I do... It’s going to hurt so bad I can feel it in my guts. She’s going to make
me have deeper feelings for her, then she’ll decide she's had enough fun (and
great sex) and leave me. I cannot let her in. Remember the eighth commandment -
Don’t do shit, unless she does it first. Don’t give her until she gives you.
"Good night,
Gabrielle.”
"Good night, Xena.”
Gabrielle disappeared
behind the door to her bedroom, leaving the judge alone in the upper main hall.
I guess a game of
pool is in order... No way I’m falling asleep tonight, too much on my mind. The judge sighed deeply.
The
judge went down for a game of pool. She found it most helpful when she needed
to think. She simple shot the balls to the pockets carelessly yet accurately
and allowed her thought to run inside her head.
It
felt great to kiss her. Well what felt really great was giving to her, pleasuring
her. When I heard Gabrielle moan it made me feel wonderful, well more than just wonderful.
It made me want to give her so much more than what I had given her. In the
past, during my sexual escapades and conquests, I loved to hear the women
whom I’ve been with, moan because it made me horny and because of my monumental
ego. I’ve always pushed myself to be the greatest in every thing I did, and
that included being the best lay in the USA…well, at least in San-Francisco.
And when I made them moan it assured myself I was good. With Gabrielle, however,
it was different; I didn’t pleasure her for me, but for her.
Gabrielle
spoke of uncertainties, and it didn’t make me feel too good. I wonder why.
After all it’s not like I’m planing on being with her forever. Knowing myself,
I’ll keep that great wall surrounding my heart and shut her out. I just can’t
risk it. I have been alone for so many years, I’m not used to taking care of
anyone but me.
She’ll
get sick of it, and we’ll end up making Cramer vs. Cramer look like a love
story.
But
I cannot deny that she touches me. She’s smart, gutsy, compassionate, funny,
and she’s easy to talk with. She is a good human being. I feel close to her and
I feel safe with her like I know she wouldn’t hurt me. She’s honest, and she
doesn’t play games. She’s sweet and so beautiful.
I
don’t know what I’m doing…where am I going with this. It’s hopeless. I suck at
relationships. I don’t give myself. I would only end up hurting her and I don’t
wish to do this, not with her. She is too good for the likes of me. She needs
someone who will be devoted to her. Who would love her and give her every thing
she deserves, and I don’t know how to do this, I’m not sure I’m even capable of
doing this.
What
is she to me now, anyway? A lover? A girlfriend? A date?
What
if she’ll wake up tomorrow morning and change her mind? What if she thinks I’m
not worth it? And I know I’m not. What would it make me feel?
But
I’m drawn to her.
Why
does life has to be so damn complicated.
***********
"Good
afternoon sleepyhead,” were the words that greeted her she woke up. Gabrielle
felt the winter sunrays warmly stroking her face. Her eyes were still closed
and she didn’t see the judge’s eyes traveling along her body. The judge thought
Gabrielle looked simply heart stealing when she wakes up. She seemed adorable
and perhaps a little vulnerable.
Gabrielle
opened her eyes and sight of Xena sitting next to her on the bed was the first
thing registered in her mind.
"What
time is it?” Gabrielle asked in a sleepy voice. She hadn’t had much sleep the
night before. She was too occupied with thinking about every thing that had
happened between her and the judge, contemplating the pros and cons.
"It’s
time to get up, it’s 3:00 p.m. already. I would like to do some work before
Sharon and Tammy gets here at around 8:00.” The judge said and placed a tray on
over Gabrielle’s lying figure. The tray was loaded with two cups of coffee,
some toasts and scrambled eggs.
"Ummm…breakfast
in bed, I’m impressed.” Smirked Gabrielle and a mischievous glint sparkled in
her eyes. "You know what I like,”
The
judge smiled. "Are you sure that the ‘breakfast in bed’ concept is not too fast
for you?” She asked a little skittish, and sent her hand to move her straying
lock of hair from Gabrielle’s face. It’s amazing how casual I feel with her.
"No,
silly,” chuckled the young yawning attorney. "It’s just right…on second
thought…”
The
judge’s face tried to hide a panic attack.
"It
would have been perfect if you gave me a good morning kiss,” Gabrielle
stretched in the bed, exposing her taut, well-toned, half clad body to the
judge, not totally aware of the affect it had on Xena.
Taking
it slow, hu? Grumbled
the judge in her mind. I guess she’s planning on torturing me…very well Miss
O’Connor, two can play this game.
"I’ll
tell you what Ret Battler told Scarlet in ‘Gone with the wind’” said the judge
thoughtfully, and coaxed an eyebrow.
"What’s
that, ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’?” Gabrielle smirked and sat up
straight.
"No,
I’m referring to what it told her after the first time he kissed her and after
she asked him for more: ‘I think you’ve been kissed enough for one day’…” the
judge chuckled with a deep alto voice.
"Well
if that’s how you feel then no kissing today,” Gabrielle mustered all her self
-control to keep a straight face, and give away the fact that she didn’t mean
it. It won’t hurt to see her squirming a little. She is way too confident.
"All
day, hu? You must be thinking very highly of yourself, or very little of me for
I don’t think you would be able to resist me for that long…” the judge replied.
But a slight worry crept into her mind.
"I was
just kidding, Your Honor, Please kiss me,” I never asked someone to kiss me
before, well except my mom, but that doesn’t count.
The
judge smiled. She realized she won the little battle, but what made her smile
was the fact that Gabrielle bothered to participate in the battle and not the
fact that she won. And so she leaned down towards Gabrielle waiting lips and
placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Gabrielle thoroughly enjoyed the warmth, and
softness of the judge’s lips, ripples of pleasure ran through her body. She
wanted to taste the inside of her mouth and so she licked the judge’s lips as a
silent plea to grant her entry, and the judge obliged by parting her lips. The
judge felt Gabrielle’s tongue bathe her tongue and her mouth walls with
agonizingly slowness. But when Gabrielle placed two small hands on her strong
shoulders for support, the judge slightly shuddered. The kiss went on for long
moments, while both women tasted the sweetness of each other’s mouths.
Throughout the kiss, the judge fought the urge to stork the younger woman’s
body that still held the heat from slumber.
They
broke the kiss for the need of air. They looked at each other for several
moments and Gabrielle could detect that the judge’s eyes were darker, stormier.
"How
about some breakfast?” the judge asked.
"Sure,”
Gabrielle replied and grabbed a toast in one hand and a cup of fresh coffee in
the other one. Gabrielle sniffed the air a little and then turned the toast and
looked at its other side. It was burned to a crisp on that side. "My, my, you
even made breakfast yourself,” she chuckled.
"Actually,
It was James,” the judge responded without blinking.
Gabrielle
gave her the ‘Give me a break…’ look, which made the judge choke a little,
and get into a fit of a nasty caught.
"Well,
OK, OK, James made the scrambled eggs and I made the toast, happy now?”
Gabrielle
smiled and placed a quick kiss on Xena’s lips.
She
makes me feel so relaxed.
She is so comfortable and pleasurable to be around. She makes all the stress
with the case go away. Hell, she even made me bring her breakfast in bed…I’ve
never done this before… and the playfulness.
"What
day is it today?” asked Gabrielle.
"Friday,”
replied the judge. "I still wish you didn’t have to go back to your place,
tonight.” The judge voice didn’t register above a whisper and she couldn’t look
into Gabrielle’s green eyes. I’m gonna miss her…miss her?…damn it.
Gabrielle
smiled. "I know, I’ll miss you too, Xena.” Her heart skipped a beat. That
was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
"Would
you be…um…willing to…consider…I mean, would y…you like to…um perhaps…spe…spend
the weekend with…me?” Clo…Clo…Clodius. What’s with the speech impediment
again? When she didn’t get a response the judge’s heart generated a heart
failure affect.
Gabrielle’s
green eyes beamed. "Sure, I will,”
"I
didn’t mean anything by it, really, I have no intention of…not taking it slow,
I swear. I didn’t mean to imply…” the words came bursting out of the judge’s
mouth.
"I
know, Xena, relax!” Gabrielle chuckled.
"Would
you like to have dinner with me on Saturday night?” The judge questioned.
"You
mean like a date?” asked Gabrielle.
When
the judge saw happiness in the younger woman’s eyes she regained confidence
again. A date? "Yeah, like a date.”
"I’d
love that,” Gabrielle replied. I’m going on a date with a judge and a woman.
They
were both eating and chitchatting about mindless things. Gabrielle looked into
Xena’s eyes.
"Xena,
Your eyes are a bit bloodshot and puffy, didn’t you sleep well last night?” she
asked and placed a concern hand on the judge’s cheek.
"I’m
fine, I just didn’t go to sleep last night, I played pool,” she answered.
"Why?
You know, I realize you have many skills, but you’re flesh and blood after all,
you need to sleep like the rest of us.”
Gabrielle didn’t mean to sound so harsh but she was genuinely concerned
about the judge.
"I just
had a lot on my mind, is all,” the judge muttered and hoped that would be the
end of the discussion.
"Well
that’s not an excuse,” retorted the counselor.
"Look,
I don’t need much sleep anyhow, I sleep barely four hours every night,” the
judge tried to defend herself but the younger woman would have none of that. What’s
going on here? Since when do I owe her any explanations? Why do I feel like I
do?
She
cares for me...
"Well
in that case, you leave me no choice. Starting Saturday, you and I are sleeping
together in the same bed.” Gabrielle informed her, and by the way she sounded
she wasn’t going to leave the judge any options.
"No
way!” The judge exclaimed. She wants to get into your bed, you moron…where
is your head, Lawless? But the judge knew deep down inside her that
sleeping together in the same bed scared her because it was too intimate for
her. In the past, she had brought women to her bed as a trophy, a
conquest to fuck and cast away. None of these women had slept beside her
throughout the night. Once the sex had been over, the judge had called the
night’s sexual entertainment’s a cab and that was the end of it.
Gabrielle
couldn’t but feel hurt from the judge’s reaction. She thought the judge would
be glad to feel her closeness, and to cuddle with her as they slept. She did
her best not to show the hurt on her face and save herself a farther rejection
or humiliation.
"Gabrielle,
I’m sorry. Don’t take it…” the judge began.
"You
don’t owe me anything, Xena, really. Let’s just forget I said anything, OK?” I
thought she would be happy that I’m progressing, that some of my fears are
melting away. Was I wrong? Does she really want me in her bed to simply fuck
and forget?
You
stupid fuck! You lowlife asshole! The judge’s mind admonished. I can’t believe it took you
less than 24 hours to hurt her! She was just trying to help you….I don’t want
her help. I want her to want to sleep next to me because that’s what she wants
and not because she wants to supervise my sleeping habits…Oh , an ego trip
again, well excuse me... enjoy the ride.
Then
there was a laud silence. Gabrielle felt highly uncomfortable but she began
chattering mindlessly about all sorts of things to make the awkwardness go
away. It worked…at least for the time being.
When
they finished, the judge removed the tray from above Gabrielle’s small frame,
and stood up.
"You go
and wash up, I’ll meet you in the study.”
Still
bossy…I guess it’s in her blood.
"OK,
see you in awhile,”
The
judge disappeared behind the door. Gabrielle went into the shower and took her
bodies off, readying herself to shower, she combed her short hair. She looked
at herself in the mirror and than the horror was revealed to her. A big ugly
bruise was brutally painted on her neck a little below her left ear. A loud
shrieking scream escaped her mouth. Her eyes were wide open in horror. With
trembling fingers she tried to touch it, examine it, but she couldn’t bring
herself to do it. It looked as if Count Dracula himself fed on her blood last
night when in truth it was someone else all together, a giant raven-haired
blue-sky-eyed district court judge was responsible for the marking.
What
has she done to my neck??? Her mind reeled.
At
that point the judge burst through the bathroom door.
"What’s
the matter?” she exclaimed, rasping from the running up the stair taking large
haste strides climbing three stair at a time. The judge saw Gabrielle staring
at the mirror in horror. The huge purplish suction mark was reviled before
her eyes. Oh my God… Oh my God… Oh
my God… Oh my God… Oh my God…Oh my God…Did I do that?
Shit!
"You
do realize that you’ll have to stop the screaming routine or you’ll be taking
me to an early grave,” The judge smirked.
Rage
rolled up in the pit of Gabrielle stomach. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!” She
yelled, frustrated from the judge casual reaction.
"So
I marked you as mine so that the pretty boy from the D.A’s office would know,
so what’s the big deal?” The judge fought hard not to laugh and by that making
the blonde even more furious.
"How
will I be able to be around people looking like that?”
"I’ll
give you one of my gulfs, relax!”
*************
It was
8:00 p.m.. The judge and her petite assistant didn’t noticed how time flew by
as they were going through the pile of personal records of the D.A’s office
employees. The doorbell rang. They both heard Sharon and Tammy being invited in
by James.
"Let’s
go,” the judge urged and stood up.
Both
women walked into the main hall to meet Sharon and Tammy.
"Hi,
galls. Lovely weather we had today, didn’t we?” Asked the judge and a funny
smile was plastered on her face. She looked a little edgy and somewhat
hyperactive in her body movements.
"It’s
raining out side, judge” said Sharon, raising an eyebrow. She gave the ‘What’s
up with her?’ look to her partner.
"Oh…My…God…Sharon
you owe me 20 bucks…come on, darling cough out the money..” Tammy said smiling
form ear to ear.
"OK,
what’s going on here…are you two playing those stupid bet games again?” asked
the judge, somewhat frowned, contemplating in her mind what ever triggered the
bet this time, and why did Sharon had to pay Tammy 20$”
"They
are not stupid games and just so that you’d know those games add spice to our
relationship,” Sharon responded, defending her spouse.
"What
did you bet on this time?” the judge asked, nervously tapping her foot on the
ground. She folded her arms on her chest, and gave the look of death to Tammy, knowing
she was the weaker ring in the chain.
Sharon
and Tammy look at one another and after silence agreement Sharon said "We’ll
tell you later, Judge Dread”.
Gabrielle
understood it was something that the couple didn’t want to say in her presence.
She worried it was something bad that they didn’t want her to hear.
Xena
exhaled in frustration and unfolded her arms, softening a bit "You know who the
two of you remind me of?”
"No,”
the couple answered in union.
The
judge smeared a wicked devilish grin on
her face that made Gabrielle even more smitten with her, "Those two old gissers
that sat on the balcony in ‘The moppet show’” she answered, so satisfied with
herself. Gabrielle couldn’t contain her laughter. Xena was glad that she was
able to make Gabrielle laugh.
"Very
funny, Xena. I’ll only tell you this: ‘What comes around goes around’” spat
Sharon, all in good mood.
"Bring
it on, I’m ready for round two” announced the judge.
At that
point all four women heard the door closed.
"Where
did James go?” asked Tammy.
"He
took my van to the auto-shop” replied the judge.
"Is
there something wrong with the ‘fast-luvin’-mobile’?” Sharon smirked. Tammy
nudged her elbow into her partner’s ribs on the account of Gabrielle’s presence.
Gabrielle
lowered her head and downcast her gaze. The judge felt the blood run out of her
face. She knew that her reputation would sometime catch up with her, somewhere
down the line. This is just ain’t my day.
"Gabrielle
and I have something to tell you,” started the judge. "Gabrielle and I
are…well,” What the fuck are we? What happened to the defense attorney’s pray, ‘Our Lord in
heaven, please help me keep my mouth shut till I know what the fuck I‘m talking
about’. "What I mean is that Gabrielle and I are sort of like…” she gave up
and looked at Gabrielle for salvation. And Gabrielle was her salvation. She
forgave me and let me off the hook even though I acted like an asshole today.
"What
Xena is trying to say is, that she and I have decided last night to try and build
a relationship.” Gabrielle picked up
where the judge had left off.
"That’s
right!” the judge backed her up and felt like a complete idiot.
There
was silent Building up a relationship? Thought Sharon Judge
Xena Lawless? Is this "The invasion of the body snatchers’ all over again. She
doesn’t do relationships.
Aside
from uttering an "Oh!” and "Good luck” the couple didn’t say a thing
on the matter.
**********
It was
up to Gabrielle to make dinner since James was out of the house, Sharon and
Tammy were guests, and Xena was inapt. The couple at least helped Gabrielle in
the kitchen while judge Lawless sat to the kitchen table, observing and making
remarks.
Dinner
went well. It appeared as if Tammy and Sharon fell in love with Gabrielle. She
did her best to charm them, knowing they were good friends to Xena, and she
succeeded. Truth be told, they liked her from the very first moment they saw
her.
After
dinner, Gabrielle and Tammy staid in the kitchen to wash the dishes while Xena
and Sharon went to shoot a game of pool.
As they
stood by the sink, Tammy washing and Gabrielle drying, Tammy began a
conversation.
"So you
and Xena, hu?” Tammy gave her a meaningful smile.
"I
guess,” Gabrielle responded.
After
a short pause, Gabrielle said, "Tammy, I know that Xena is a very good
friend to both you and Sharon, and I know that you are loyal to her. And I
it’s important to me that you and I became friends, as well.”
"Darling,
regardless of Xena, you seem to both Sharon and myself like a great person
to be friends with. All we ask is that you’ll be good to her. She has a tendency
to go out with bitches.” Then she paused and a grin plastered on her face
"When we first met you here, in Xena’s house, Sharon and I hoped that
something will develop between the two of you.”
Gabrielle
wore a shocked expression.
"Don’t
look so surprised. We saw how the two of you handled one another when you were
cooking together. We saw the spark,”
Here’s
that word again...
"She is
an amazing woman.” Gabrielle muttered.
"Yes,
she is. And she deserves someone good.”
"I
won’t do anything to hurt her,” Gabrielle said and looked at Tammy.
"I
know you won’t, not on purpose anyway. I’m sure it all very confusing for
you. I mean so far you’ve been intimate with men, and now you’re being intimate
with a woman.”
"W... we
ha... haven’t... been in... intimate, yet,” Gabrielle stummered and downcasted
her eyes.
"Oh,
I’m such an idiot. I assumed that... I’m sorry,” Tammy blushed and couldn’t meet
Gabrielle’s eyes. How come Xena failed to nail her? What is this world
coming to? There goes a legend... What is going on here?
"You
shouldn’t really. Things are a little complicated, for both Xena and me,”
Gabrielle dismissed.
"Of
course they are.” Tammy said, "I remember how it felt like being in your shoes,
being all confused about my sexual orientation and all the fears. Listen, I
want you to know that if you need to talk don’t hesitate. If you have any
questions or if you need someone to convey your thoughts and feelings, I’m here
for you as a friend. I wouldn’t tell Xena anything of you wouldn’t want me to
tell her.”
"Thank
you, Tammy. I appreciate it.” The blonde said and placed the dried plait on the
stand.
"Of-course
I think that the best thing is talking to Xena about these type of matters,
but I understand how it might be easier for you to talk to someone else about
it.” Tammy handed Gabrielle the last plate and dried her hands.
"Thanks.”
Then
Tammy sighed and muttered "I hope she won’t screw this one up”
Gabrielle
swallowed hard.
"Now
lets go to the Billiard room and check up on our women,” said Tammy.
Our
women... My woman... OK I don’t think I can handle it...
*********