Unchained Thoughts
by atara
Copyright (c) 1998
This story takes place during "Unchained Heart," immediately before Xena
and Herc's love scene and is rated R for sexual content. It consists
entirely of the characters' inner thoughts; one must assume there's
conversation going on as well, but I'll leave that to the episode itself.
There is also some briefly implied lesbian content, so anyone who's
bothered by that sort of thing should stop reading now. However, if you
*do*like that sort of thing, you might want to check out my X/G stories
which are available at http://www.cyberg8t.com/ereshkgl.
Xena and Hercules are the property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance
Pictures. I'm just taking the liberty of reading their minds for a while.
No copyright infringement is intended, and no financial profit is
anticipated. :-) Please check with me before archiving or distributing.
Feedback welcome at astarte@cyberg8t.com.
*** I can't believe I'm feeling this way about her. I know she's changed.
I know she has a good heart that's finally been set free. But after what
she did to Iolaus . . . And how would Iolaus feel? I'm sure he still has
feelings for her. How could he not? There's an energy and a mystery to
her that's hard to resist. Down boy! Get real. Somehow, I don't think
I'm her type. * * *
* * * Down girl! You're just going to have to keep your hands off that
man. Oh, but look at that mouth, those lips. It would feel so good to
suck his tongue into my mouth and right down my throat. Yes! And those
arms--they could be sculpted out of marble. It would be delicious to sink
my teeth into one of those arms and suck till I left a bruise and be able
to say to myself *I put that there!* And what a back to dig my nails into!
And that chest. I could lick him all over--is it so wrong to want to
taste some of his sweetness for myself? Maybe some of it would rub off. *
* *
* * * Yes, a good heart, but there's a darkness about her, even now. There
probably always will be. There's a cold fire shining out of those blue
eyes. I don't even want to know the crimes she's done, the evil she's
capable of. So why does her darkness draw me? Why do I want to taste it,
breathe it in? Can she be with a man without using him? Do I care? Go
ahead, warrior princess, use me. Just let me run my hands along those
muscled arms and legs. Let me drown in those icy blue eyes. Maybe I can
bring some warmth to them. Oh, Hercules, stop kidding yourself. * * *
* * * Oh yes, such sweetness. Rare in a man. Iolaus had it too, but he was too easy. He didn't have that calm center that draws me to Hercules. And he has a nice body, but there's no comparison. *This* man has just so much to sink my teeth into. I want to eat him up. I want to grab handfuls of that wonderful ass and squeeze. I want to cover him with oil and mold him with my hands. I want to feel him driving into me so I feel it the next day. And, damn it, I want to see him looking into my eyes with that sweetness that is in him. * * *
* * * I can't help it. I want to surrender to her strength. I want to
look up to her, put my hands around her waist, worship her breasts with my
hands and my mouth. I can just feel a breast cupped in each hand, yielding
to my fingers. I want to make her nipples hard with desire. I want to
make her feel good. Imagine those legs straddling my head while I kiss and
taste and lick her center! I would be so slow, so careful, let her feel
every sensation. She looks so lonely--when's the last time someone just
tried to make her feel good? I want to sink my tongue inside her. I want
her to taste herself on my lips and tongue. What I wouldn't give to kiss
that mouth, then to pull back just a little and feel those eyes piercing
into me. And to move inside her. Just ride me, beautiful warrior, as long
and as hard as you like. I gladly devote my strength to your pleasure. * *
*
*** I shouldn't do this to him. I can't really love him--I can't love any
man like that since Lao Ma. My heart could only belong to a woman now.
But would it be so wrong? I could love him as a friend and fellow-warrior.
He wouldn't be just a toy like the others. I can't remember the last time
I met a man I could respect. And he gave me a chance to change, to learn
what Lao Ma was trying to teach me all along. I don't want to lose his
friendship. Is it possible for friends to make love? Make love? When was
the last time I thought of it as anything but fucking--just some friction
to release tension? In Chin of course. But this is different. I fell in
love with Lao Ma; I would do anything she said. I would have gladly given
myself to her for her to own--if I hadn't been such an idiot. And that's
what I really want to find--someone who can belong to me and who I can give
myself to. I can't give myself to Hercules--all I want is to share some
closeness for a while. And, well, to have my way with that magnificent
body. Xena, girl, you really haven't changed a bit. * * *
* * * I can see it in her eyes; she has a path she has to follow, and that
path doesn't include me. I could fall in love with this bewitching
warrior--so beautiful, so hard, and with depths I can't begin to imagine.
But I can see she's not meant for me. I want to be her friend, give her
what help I can on her new path. Would it be wrong to share the pleasure
of our bodies for once? Can friends make love and stay friends? Why not?
Why not touch those lips and trace their shape? Why not taste each of her
fingers, worshipping each in turn? Why not get tangled in that black hair?
Why not pay her tribute, envelop her in warmth, shower her with pleasure,
before I have to let her go? Why not give her something to make her road a
little sweeter?* * *
* * * How can anyone talk about challenging "the forces of evil" and sound
so sincere? He means it. No pretension, no ego, just a simple conviction
of doing right without being wrapped up in himself. How refreshing! And
as he talks, I just want to wrap my fingers into his hair, suck his lip
into my mouth and taste his sweetness, stroke him everywhere and feel those
muscles humming under my fingers. I want to gaze straight down into those
gentle eyes while he fills me. He's looking at me, so expectantly. Can he
want what I want? Can he understand it can only be today? I can't help
it; I have to tell him how I feel. * * *
The End