IN BEER
VERITAS
by Rabster
email: RabsterBGSB@aol.com
"Your honour. In the case of the State of Texas against Dennis Waltz it is the verdict of this jury that the defendant is guilty of the charge of murder in the first degree."
The foreman paused as an audible gasp echoed around the courtroom. His demeanour appeared to become more grumpy as the hubbub continued.
"Ye Gods!" a female voice uttered above the cacophony.
"Donner und Blitzen!" a second voice was clearly heard.
A loud rap of the gavel by Judge Maracas was necessary to restore order.
The foreman looked somewhat bashful as all attention again fell upon him.
"On the charge of theft of a Xylophone, we find the defendant not guilty"
Emma North turned to her best friend seated just to the right of her.
"Don't you think Court TV has gone downhill? I mean that guy was never a member of Al Qaeda and how could he kill someone with a tambourine?"
"The little cymbals around the edge were explosive, were you not paying attention?" Karen smiled as she brushed down her blue, polka dot skirt.
There was something very comforting about watching trash television with a good friend that made them both feel happy.
"Do you think the Judge is from Mexico? He must have been quite a dasher in his time"
Emma gave her friend a quizzical look.
"He must have been dashing as a young man" Karen explained "though he is a bit short." She conceded
That was the third time this evening Karen had commented on a male, Emma noted silently cursing. That Ballet Dancer from France, then Carl Bongos and now his worship from the court. The brunette realised it might be too much to ask that her best friend would be attracted to women, but Emma desired her with a covetousness that was almost criminal.
"Maybe. Maybe from Spain" the taller woman replied a bit coldly.
Karen turned to her left.
"You OK love? Feeling a bit sleepy?"
Feeling a bit dopey more like Emma thought to herself.
"I'm fine. How about I fill a pitcher with beer and we get absolutely sleigh bells?"
"I just love your turn of phrase" the blonde haired Karen laughed. "You could only be from the south speaking like that"
"A real Confederate and don't you forget it. Now let me prance through to the kitchen and get us that beer"
As Emma arose from the settee and headed off she heard Karen call out.
"You are quite a prancer too my southern belle!"
Comments like that only made the pain deeper.
"Ooh! A shooting star!" Emma shouted from the kitchen.
"You mean a meteor, maybe a comet" Karen answered back.
The brunette returned with the promised drinks.
"Have you no romance in your soul?" she said a little wistfully "you probably think that the Liberty Bell needs to be replaced with a brand new one"
The blonde poured out two glasses of top quality US beer.
"I'm sorry honey. Did you make a wish?"
Emma grinned wickedly.
"I sure did!"
Just then the door bell rang out.
"You gotta replace those chimes sugar" Karen attempted a southern drawl.
"Y'all don't like Dixie?" Emma replied in the authentic tones.
The tall brunette peered through the spy hole.
"If you want to snare yourself a man I have two on my doorstep"
"Tango and Cash?" Karen asked too eagerly.
"Sorry. Just Square Brian and Tommy Two-Step"
"Jeez! I thought you said men. Let me hustle to the bathroom and you can get rid of them"
Emma did not even wish to open the door, but she was pleased that her friend had not shown the slightest desire to let the two in.
"Hi guys. Listen I've been sneezy all day and I wouldn't want either of you to be the catcher of my cold" The brunette feigned a sniffle as she towered over the pair of would be lotharios.
"We got tickets to see The Cupid at The West Timpani Centre" the not yet men offered.
"Excellent band. They are my idols. Listen if they play ‘War Triangle' will you light a candle for me. I'll be with you in spirit guys" and Emma closed the door to any further discussion.
"Well bang my gong! You are quite the liar Miss North"
"The accent had better improve young Karen" Emma growled but in a friendly way "Or you will be visiting Doc Beaujangles with a bloody nose. You just crossed the line young missy"
For a moment Karen worried that her friend was serious.
"I'm really sorry Em, you know a few beers makes me a bit giddy"
The brunette saw the look in Karen's eyes and gave her a tight hug.
"Just joking. I would never take a swing at you, surely you know that?"
They carried on drinking in a slightly more subdued atmosphere. Emma felt terrible that her attempt at humour had turned things a little sour.
"Hey. It is Open Mike night at the comedy club. I should give it a go, I killed it in here didn't I?" Emma lamented.
"Not your fault babe, when it comes to merriment I can be pretty dim. My dad called me a ‘cold fish' because I rarely laughed at his jokes. The ‘walking sea bass' he christened me once and my brothers still use that"
The evening was growing into a disaster, yet Emma could think of little to revive it other than more beer. As she refilled the pitcher she called out
"I bought myself a red, leather mini-skirt last week, can you believe that? I felt like a right vixen at the time but now I just feel stupid"
"Hey! You are a total fox. You would look hot in anything" Karen sounded sincere.
That was quite a twist. Emma mused. Yet Karen had not finished.
"Would it still be adultery if you were separated from your husband who stayed back east and you were ravished by a few amazons {Huh Oz, Huh?! <g>} but got to really like it and started having sex with women?"
Emma looked astonished.
"My turn to be the walking sea bass ‘cause I just don't know if you are kidding"
"Listen love. Don't be scared but I guess I sort of turned lesbian or something. I never told you because I didn't want to lose my best ever friend" Karen was staring with her intense green eyes.
Emma took one of Karen's hands and grasped it tightly.
"Gorgeous, if I didn't have a yellow streak down my back I would have tried to seduce you ages ago. I have this fantasy of you lying on a bed and me visiting you as a hooker.
Probably why I bought that red mini-skirt. And the black fish-nets and other stuff"
Karen pulled her friend close and they exchanged a kiss.
"Want to bring a fantasy to life?" the blonde asked with a lascivious grin.
THE END
( All 78 words used and Amazons mentioned)