EXT. FOUNTAIN OF STRENGTH, MT. FUJI, JAPPA - ALMOST SUNSET
Xena holds Gabrielle lovingly, watching the sun. There are still a few minutes left before sundown, as Xena's fight with Yodoshi skimmed a few hundred feet off the mountain to the west. These things happen.
Gabrielle, tears still clinging to her cheeks, sets Xena's ashes on the rim of the fountain.
Gabrielle shifts her hips, jostling the urn. It teeters for a moment, then remains on the lip of the fountain. She bumps it again, harder, and it topples into the fountain.
Suddenly, Xena is surrounded by a glowing aura, then becomes corporeal.
With a sigh, Xena takes out her sword and stabs herself in the heart. She dies. Her spirit form rises, frowning.
Not wasting any time, Gabrielle douses the body with lighter fluid, sets it on fire, and watches it burn, with one eye on the horizon. Luckily, Jappa is the land of the RISING sun, so it's much better at that. Setting is hard, and it takes its time.
Xena's ghost (wearing a trainee badge) is standing in front of the fire, waving her arms, trying to keep Gabrielle from getting to the ashes.
Gabrielle has indeed been working hard, shoving the still hot ashes into the urn.
Xena withdraws her sword.
Immediately, the souls surround Gabrielle. She doesn't pay any attention because they're special effects and will be added later, in post. She continues to fill the pot with the smoldering ash.
Ignoring Xena, Gabrielle continues to gather the ashes.
Gabrielle shakes the urn to settle the contents.
Several of the souls are laughing, and a smattering of applause breaks out. Xena isn't happy.
Before she can be stopped, Gabrielle tosses it into the fountain. Once again Xena is bathed in light and comes back to life. Unfortunately, she's missing her right leg. She falls on her face.
Gabrielle quickly gathers up a small pile of ashes she missed, tosses them in and watches as Xena's leg shimmers into sight.
Xena scrambles to her feet.
The voice is suddenly muffled as if a hand was placed over its mouth. That is, if souls have mouths and hands and things.
Xena, sword against her throat pauses. Meanwhile, Gabrielle is drinking from the fountain.
Xena suddenly notices the gulping Gabrielle.
The souls shimmy off into the setting sun. As the last rays disappear, Xena holds Gabrielle in her arms. Gabrielle, however, looks a bit pale.
Gabrielle crushes the urn in her hand, not realizing her own strength.
She picks up the katana lying nearby and bends it with her bare hands.
Gabrielle crushes a piece of coal into a diamond with her bare hand.
Quickly, Xena dives for the fountain, but Gabrielle plucks her away with two fingers.
Gabrielle takes a huge mouthful of water and kisses it into Xena's mouth. She repeats this several times, often forgetting to get more water.
CUT TO:
EXT. BOAT - DAY
Xena and Gabrielle are standing at the rail, looking out at the water. The souls, fresh from their appearance on Oprah, are rowing. But you can't see them. Or the oars. In fact, it really doesn't have any effect on the boat, but it's a good cardiovascular workout, so they keep doing it.
She waits for laughter, but Xena hates puns and the souls are too tired.
With a final kiss, Xena whispers:
FADE OUT.
THE END