Liaisons
Ridiculeuse
by
Alexiares and Rachel Hahn
DISCLAIMER: RenPics owns theirs, we own ours. This story is only written for fun, we didn't make a penny. There's not too much violence... not too much swearing... not too much sex... but they turn up, this being a X:WP alt fiction piece and all. If you have any problem with two women being together, this story is really not your thing. Feedback can be sent to Barderella@aol.com or klotho@moonspeaker.ca.
NOTES: Yet another change in plans, folks.
Part five will be the final chapter of Liaisons for me. Rachel will continue
the story for Ephiny, Callisto, Solari, and Eponin as soon as she is able. I'll
post the next story for me soon. - Alexiares, 00-06-22
******
It was weird, Ephiny reflected
as she strode arm in arm with Callisto back to their hut. A bubble of calm seemed
to surround them, literally. It was early, but a few Amazons were moving around
briskly. Whenever their paths threatened to intersect that of the newly bonded
couple, they would veer abruptly, with no apparent awareness of the course change.
Except a member of the council, who had a scroll in hand and meant to harass
Ephiny with it. One moment she was walking to the regent's hut, the next she
was walking in the opposite direction, her expression completely bewildered.
Callisto was hardly noticing, a dazed smile on her face. Every few steps or
so the Goddess would begin to float, forcing Ephiny to haul her down before
Callisto accidentally carried them both off.
Her finger itched a little where the new ring rested, and Ephiny found all sorts
of things running through her mind. Would she get a callous near it? Would it
affect how she drew the bow? If it wasn't going to tarnish, did that mean it
wouldn't turn her finger black? The bigger changes it represented were still
a lot to take in, and Ephiny found herself thinking about it just a little,
then going on to other things. A sort of mental acclimatizing.
"Eph? Eph?" Callisto gave the regent's arm a shake. "We're at
the front door."
Ephiny blinked in surprise. "So we are." The banners had been returned
to their positions above the door, an added bit of rope unobtrusively added
to hold them in place. The two Amazons entered the hut, settling quietly in
front of the fire, which Callisto sparked into life. "How are you feeling?"
she asked.
Ephiny grimaced a little. "Nauseous. There's a tea I used for that when
I was pregnant with Xenon on that shelf." Callisto nodded vigourously,
and soon handed her partner a steaming mug of it. "Thanks."
"No problem." Callisto smiled. "I've always wanted to do things
like this. It's really cool."
"Yeah," Ephiny laughed aloud. "I can hardly believe it, you know
that? Hades, I can hardly believe my life lately. Seems like I've met half the
pantheon... and I never thought of getting any autographs!"
Callisto snorted. "Nah, the pantheon's pretty big. You've just met a few
of the weirder members." They both laughed, then Ephiny sighed a little.
"We've got to get ready for our public ceremony... and find out how long
Gabrielle's other ceremony will require us to go into hiding to live it down."
she grinned wryly.
For once, Callisto was in an optimistic frame of mind. "How bad could it
be?" she asked, a bit carelessly.
"Callisto, at least one of the summer equinox ceremonies includes rolling
an egg along the ground in a sort of race."
"That's no big deal, Eph."
"With your nose."
******
Thraso stood up slowly,
feeling her back muscles go to work, albeit sulkily. Standing up now accomplished,
the question was, how to get her boots. They sat to one side of the door. The
young weaponmaster had managed to get dressed while laying mostly flat, especially
impressive since she hadn't woken Eumache and only needed to pull an armslength
of sheet out of her shirt.
Carefully, with measured footfalls, she approached her boots. Looking for all
the world like she expected them to jump, squeal, and run away if approached
incautiously. Bending at the knees until she felt them creak, Thraso managed
to grab the tops of her footwear. Slowly, slowly, she stood up again, wincing
as her knees added popping and snapping to their repertoire.
The time Xena had allotted for bedrest wasn't quite up, but Thraso had gotten
it into her head that Eumache should get breakfast in bed. Hence the necessity
for clothing and boots. Thraso already had a menu all planned out. No greasy
stuff, nothing that smelt really strong... that would be nasty news for Eumache's
tender stomach. Some of that cinnamon tea Eumache liked though, because that
seemed to help, and she just liked it. Maybe some fresh bread... a quick look
out the window revealed open flames spouting out the oven vent of the food hut.
Maybe not.
Settling on the bed with her feet flat on the floor, Thraso kept one boot in
her hand and settled the other beside her. A moment while she braced herself,
resting the boot on her belly. Lifting the foot required by the boot, she bent
its associated knee until it was within boot fitting reach. Putting the boot
on took enough effort to turn Thraso's face brick red. She paused, examining
the angle her leg was at.
"I think I'll hide Eumache's copy of the Lesbian Kama Sutra... and make
a note to avoid interpretive dance." The next boot finally slipped on and
Thraso let her foot drop, laying back and wheezing. "'Kay, need to get
up again." This required rolling onto her stomach and carefully pushing
up. Feet regained, Thraso paused to gaze at her lover.
Eumache was sound asleep, curled up in the blankets and gripping a pillow in
lieu of Thraso. Her hair was tousled, of course, and her ringlets were scattered
across her pillow, highlighted by bars of sunlight. An expression of gentle
joy was on her face, a gentle flush gracing her cheeks. At some point during
Thraso's perambulations she had pushed aside the blanket, leaving her partner
with a fine view of her breasts. A goofy grin split the weaponmaster's face.
Some people claimed that the first bowl was molded on Aphrodite's breast, which
meant it was supposed to be this perfectly round half globe type thing. Thraso
sighed happily. Who needed that? Eumache's weren't perfectly round, and were
quite perky besides... far more interesting than plain half globes. Thraso licked
her lips, and blinked a little as her stomach growled. Unfortunately, further
philosophizing on the subject would have to wait until after breakfast, when
it was entirely possible she'd get to do some hands on exploration. That added
speed to her steps as she made her way to the food hut.
A few barrels caught her attention. "Hey, condiments." Thraso grinned,
and got closer so she could read the labels. One label in particular caught
her eye. "Mint syrup... use sparingly, very strong," Thraso read aloud.
"Don't know what you could put that on."
The weaponmaster shuffled on into the foodhut, nodding to the group coming off
night watch and the other group about to go on. Maneuvering carefully around
tables and the occasional foodhut staffperson, she finally made it to the cooking
counters in the back. A rapid, steady clicking and swooshing was coming from
the very back, in time with quicksilver flashes. Squinting revealed the head
cook, expertly dicing vegetables and physically tossing food from one dish to
the next. Spills were deftly averted with a flick of the wrist. Thraso stood
out of harm's way a moment, then cleared her throat.
"Yes?" said the cook, halving a radish in midair and deflecting one
half so that if fell down Thraso's shirt. Hopping a little and shaking herself,
Thraso replied, "I just came to get a little breakfast for me and my partner...
fruit and cheese is fine, no need to cook anything, and I can gather stuff myself."
"What?! No!" the cook shook a knife vigourously at her. "Cooking
is my life, it's what I do, it's who I am! How can you not ask for something
that doesn't need cooking! What do you really want?" What Thraso really
wanted was a plateful of fruit, cheese, and venison. Eggs made her feel ill
on principle, and toast had to be one of the most boring foods out there. If
greasy dried bread was a food. Thraso wrinkled her nose in disgust.
"What I want is..."
"No, no... what, an omelette? Pancakes? What?" Two hunks of carrot
flew past Thraso's ears, and landed in a pot on the fire behind her.
"No, thank you, you're very kind. I don't like eggs and I'm not quite hungry
enough for pancakes."
"Do you not understand a word I say? Do you know what I'm called? A cook!
How can I be a cook, if you won't give me a reason to cook something?"
Having come to the conclusion that the cook lived to refuse to give you uncooked
food, Thraso unbuckled the pouch she had brought along for the purpose and began
to collect breakfast, which came from various conveniently labelled bins.
"Hey! You can't do that! I am a Kitchen Goddess! Stop it!" the cook
spun around, now armed with a large spoon, and a bucket of oatmeal for the bubbling
pot on the fire. Thraso hurriedly made for the door, not pausing to answer.
"You should be worshipping at my altar! Do you see any bad teeth, indigestion,
heart disease here? No! Why? Because of the Divine Cook, that's why! Why I oughta..."
"Next time, I think I'll just raid the garden." Thraso muttered.
******
******