Disclaimers: This is a little something I wrote. I suppose it could be applied anywhere. Poetry/Uber/Original/Classic. Depends on where you'd like to apply it, and feel free to apply it anywhere.

No actual sex, but love between two women is strongly implied.

Dedicated to she whom I may find past every tomorrow...I'm waiting to return to you.

Feedback/Comments can be sent to: bardboi83@yahoo.com

 

 

Back to the Light : Journey to The Heart

Written By: AC

 

By the light of the day the world seems right

A thousand watt smile and laughter work in unsion

They both strive toward one goal

To overshadow haunted eyes

A nervous gaze that peers from behind dark glasses

Thankful for all the camoflauge they recieve

For it left unchecked all the world would be aware

That behind the guise of borderline confidance

Lives a child filled with fear of discovery

 

This child can not describe the fear that plagues it

Sharp toothed winged demons dance in dreams

They move in droves through a fragile mind

Instilling fear with unrivaled ease

There's no protection for the helpless babe

So like a lamb for slaughter, it sits cowering

Knowing deliverance lies so close at hand

Yet so far out of reach

This beautiful child cries for the comfort of another

 

Unanswered and unfulfilled tears subside

Salt dried to innocent cheeks

Rest comes to her uneasily

Like all other things the comfort of sleep slips away

Alone again she waits for a shadow of hope

Yet again none appear

To those who come near, heed the warning

You reap what you sow

And this beautiful girl will give what she gets

 

Standing on the edge

Tempting fate, once and twice she smiles

Teetering on edge of oblivion

Ready to feel like a bird

Not read to crash like scrap metal

She falls backward instead

Falling feet opposed to miles

Gravel covers her body shifting beneath skin at each movement

Unready to face her mortal truth she cries

 

 

Blood flows cleansing her mind like sprin rain

As it dries it forms a protective shell

She'd like nothing more than to shed it

But by exposing so much

She'd risk the feelings that follow

And if pain is living she wants no part in it

Because the life she's built

The life she's trying to forget

Was never the life she deserved

 

What girl-child anticipated was a prince

A knight on a horse to ride up

He'd save her from herself

From her impractical wants

From her strange desires

He would come and things would change

She'd be all they wanted

They'd all be proud of her having it

But that was the fancy of a child

 

For the prince never came

More like a string of peasants

And she, the princess, grew impatient

She grew resigned for she was displeased

These princes were not what she wanted

Never were they what she needed

And in this was realization: She saw what was

And the desires of the real impracticalites faded

For never again did she expect her prince to come along

 

But in anger the girl child died

And born from her was the girl-woman

Seething at the unfairness of her situation

Violently struggling against nature

Recklessly plunging forward into an abyss

One so dark it promises not return

But eternal darkness and condemnation

If one were to get so lost in its mire

 

And almost gone she realizes

I have given up

But the road back home is now dark

And home lies in ruin over the hill

All the people who once lived there have gone

Leaving her and a bramble covered path

A dim light of some kind

A field of unrealized dreams

A new chapter in the fable of life

 

So backward she walks

She stumbles and struggles

Listening with her heart; trying to go home

She falls for she is human

And when she does her skin tears

Yet she walks on

Seeing no end she learns of faith

She learns of hope

She now knows how to live for tomorrow

 

But what of today?

She sees one like herself asking

"Well, can you help?"

So she offers a hand

And the two fit like puzzle peices

So for a while they travel together

Conent with companionship

She sees no need for more

Yet can't bring herself to give any less

 

After a time the girl with the heart of a woman sees

Clear as day and pure as snow

She loves her companion. She loves her!

Her companion says the same

Yet she says what she doesn't mean

Accustomed to having her own hero

Her companion takes for granted

She comes and goes

She holds on to a heart with an iron fist

 

She makes a promise none to lightly

"I'll wait forever"

Yet she's no longer that girl-woman promising

She's evolved into a new being

A magnificent creature living to question her honor

Is she to be held to a promise someone else made?

For inside she recongizes the beginning of the end

 

And she screams like, howls like, wolf like

Crying out in the night

Beautifully stoned eyes

Magnetic gaze coupled with a bitter laugh

Unadulterated anger escape unfettered

And there's no holding back

Like the green foam sea it engulfs

Swallowing both in emotion

And while so alike they remain so different

 

A new day dawns close to midnight

Dressed in black, cloaked in leather

A trail of smoke trails from her lips

Eyes lock for a moment that seems eternal

And it begins for a time

This period of grace where she feels confidant

She feels she knows now more than ever

What it is to feel good

 

Yet new feelings coax out new emotions

And terror churns like the sea inside

Ravaging the innocent like a beast

Dancing like the demons do when they are at play

Because she doesn't know how to feel good

Happiness is more complicated than sorrow

Nothing prepared her for being wanted

And no one told her how to survive it

 

Because survival is an instict turned process

And an aquired one at that

The burden of joy

The confusion of two others proved too much

Simple things were not so simple

"If only" was the thought of the hour

And the "if only" was the be all and end all

Because "if only" was not the case

 

To sleep beside a beautiful woman was bliss

But to sleep beside her and dream of someone else

Was cheating in her heart

It ripped her in two to the very core

And there's nothing to do but end it

She walked away from a woman who cared

In the name of fairness she stumbled out the door

In the midst of girl-woman's revalation she stubmbled over another's heart

 

Her justification was unjust

The truth was more than she could handle

Yet the clarity in which she sees it

Would astound even the most astute

There are a thousand ways to love

Not one alike in nature

Yet all similar in result

And she walked out on one so right

 

So good for her but so wrong

Boldly she stepped back into the worse off

Because to love blindly is love purely

To love purely maybe to love foolishly

She made a promise none to lightly

She promised to wait for her companion forever

She promised to always love her

And for better or worse part of her kept that promise

 

Washed up on a new shore

Determined to breakfree of all ill emotional attachment

A woman made infant again furiously runs

Pushing forward a state of nudity doesn't hold her back

Inhabitions aside, panting uncontrollably

Tears of frustration stream

The newly born falls

Tired of her fight

She embraces the land of dreams

 

Flying like, hawk like, soaring

She's free and unscathes

All ahead is clear for miles

The world is hers

No path is marked in the sky

And her cloudly obstacles are no match

For this is how it should be, she knows

This is her last chance

As she wakes she is determined to start anew

 

To let her heart rule her head is task

She would never get much of anything

But logic is useless to such a person

Beacause the heart by nature is illogical

It knows what it needs

The heart will not be denied

She cannot ignore it

She knows the strongest among us follow the heart

 

To let her head rule her heart is madness

Everything is logical, she would feel little

But feeling is useless to such a person

Because her head is by nature logical

It knows what it wants

It's inflexible and won't be denied

She knows the strogest among us follow thier head

But she knows she's always been bound to the heart

 

She knows that understanding everything isn't cruical

Sometimes we understand too much too well

She knows that on occasion it's what we shouldn't comprehend

That will mean the most to us

For as human beings go

The mind is designed to comprehend logic

The heart designed to process what the mind cannot

So She will lead the life of the one she follows

 

Lying on the shores she watches the world pass her by

Moving at the speed of clouds, not too fast but just out of reach

And that's alright

Things are just as they should be

And so what if she is absent from such things

This afterall is the life she created

And she is greatful for all it is

And accepting of all it is not

Because there is no why, there just is

 

And tomorrow is a new day...

 

The End...or Just the Beginning...

 

(C) 2011 January 17 AC

 

Return to the Academy

Author's Page