THE REALITY IN DREAMS
BY: A. Tietz
NIGHTMARES
CHAPTER 7
14 Pages
Sitting by the bed, she was deep in thought about the events of the last 48 hours. The clock said 4:30pm. Had it really only been two days ago. She had met a beautiful woman who seemed to be a kind, gentle, confident spirit who turned into some kind of special ops government agent right out of a spy novel rescuing her from assassins and racing into the night against all odds to out run the murderous pursuers. But real life was different than spy novels. Robin’s arm throbbed and reminder her of the very real bite of very real bullets aimed at killing her.
How and why this had happened was still a mystery. No one was talking, despite her polite insistences and finally a hysterical angry tirade at the very people who had helped her stay alive. They kept saying that only Jessie could tell her anything. And that wouldn’t likely be much.
She looked at the half dead form lying in the bed in this make shift emergency type room. Jessie wasn’t dead yet, but that could change in a moment. Her vitals were holding, but this was only the first 24 hours since surgery.
The woman had taken three bullets, fell down, yet managed to regain enough control to get up and fire again at the chopper that was pelting the truck with machine gun fire. The Professor had kept yelling for her to stay on the floor. She had taken a bullet in the arm but it was so hard to stay put knowing Jessie was going to die out there. She remembered that she wasn’t as worried about herself dying as much as she longed to know why the hell this woman was withstanding so much just to keep her alive.
The chopper fell with a huge explosion that propelled the truck forward and almost made them roll over. Then all was quiet.
As soon as no more bullets were flying she had hopped in the back of the truck and was relieve to find a pulse but a quick assessment revealed that the tall woman had been hit twice in her left thigh, once in the left calf, twice in her right leg, three times in her left arm, and the ugliest looking wound was through the woman’s face. And that wasn’t counting the wounds from the first fiery encounter in her backyard. They were escorted to their destination by Roddy and a few of his friends who had come to their aid within moments after the chopper crashed.
When they arrived, Jessie was rushed into a homemade kind of emergency room. At least it was better than nothing. But as she assisted the very old doctor, she really doubted the hero of the night would pull through. They spent hours and hours on Jessie. The woman took three liters of blood transfusion and Robin was amazed, as they came to a halt, having done all that could be done in a situation such as this, that Jessie was still breathing.
They had taken care of Robin’s superficial arm wound too. Still despite anything she said or did, no one was willing to say much about the situation to her. She was glad they allowed her to stay near Jessie in case her vitals started crashing. They really did have everything an emergency room needed to keep this woman from dying. It wasn’t a hospital, but it was adequate for now. Still she knew if Jessie had respiratory failure or a cardiac episode, the woman would die.
And that hurt. It somehow hurt more than anything. She shook her head in puzzlement. Her husband was dead, murdered, her home was gone, she was in the custody of God knows who, she knew that she wouldn’t be returning to being a nurse and her garden hobby. But the only thing that seemed to pain her through this maze of the unbelievable was the possible death of someone she didn’t even really know.
She wanted to know why. Of course, why had this happened? Where on earth had this come from? The pain in her arm and her heart told her that though this was a nightmare it was absolutely deadly real. Yet what she really wanted, no needed to know, was why. Why did this woman save her life? Was it a routine assignment? Did she put her life on the line all the time? Was it just a particularly bad day at the office? As she pondered the events she couldn’t help but come back to the feeling that this woman was desperate to save her life. There had seemed to be an urgency or passion in her actions, in her voice, in those eyes. And every time she had looked into those beautiful blue eyes, she felt that the woman would go to hell itself before allowing her to die.
She got up and went over to the bed. Taking the woman’s strong hand in her own she looked at the bandaged face wishing she could look into those lovely eyes again and said, "So why Jessie? Why do you need to save me? Who are you? Who is after me? Why are they trying to kill me? And why are you so desperately trying to stop them?"
Robin reached up and caressed the woman’s forehead. She knew she was tired, bewildered and confused. But she felt something for this woman. Gratitude certainly, but there was something more. She didn’t really know what. But she kept wondering if Jessie was anything like the lovely lady she had passed the evening with before her husband had come home. She smirked at the memory of actually flirting with this woman. Robin had never done that before, so she wasn’t positive, but she thought it was flirting. Perhaps that was the oddest thing.
She was still holding the woman’s hand when she said to the unconscious hero, "Your name isn’t really Jessie is it? Well whatever your name, please know I am here and you are not alone."
The woman’s eyes began to flutter. It had been about 30 hours since the surgery that removed bullets and repaired the nasty wound to the beauties mouth and face. Robin leaned closer, "Jessie, open your eyes, you need to open your eyes Jessie, I am right here."
Foggy eyes opened briefly and looked into her own, "Beautfl…….so beaut……." The eyes closed almost as soon as they had opened.
"Jessie, Jessie come back Jessie," Robin said urgently as she stroked the woman’s face.
But the blue eyes had slipped into unconsciousness again. Robin quickly checked the vitals again. Everything was steady. She was happy Jessie had awakened briefly. That was good. She didn’t want to leave but she needed to let the doctor know Jessie had at least opened her eyes.
Before she could get to the door though, Roddy had come in. "How is the patient Robin?"
I was just coming for the doctor she opened her eyes like 30 to 45 seconds ago. Roddy immediately went to the bed.
"Tra um, Robin could I have a moment?"
"If she wakes, just yell and I’ll get the doctor."
"I will for certain girl," he smiled.
He had almost said the woman’s name, she knew it. But he caught himself. She was so frustrated at their deliberate refusal to reveal anything. God’s she is the one whose life had been shattered but they insisted that their providing any information would only eventually put her in more danger.
The frustration on her face must have been plain as she heard a worried Professor ask, "Did she get worse, Robin is she…"
"No Professor, no, she’s okay for now. She actually opened her eyes for a few moments. She even said a few words."
"You didn’t say that before Robin. What where her words?" Roddy asked as he had come out of the room.
"Oh, I, um I, didn’t mean to not say………"
"That’s okay Robin, I am not mad, just worried. Please what did she say?"
"Well her eyes were barely open a moment, but she did look right at me and said, um well, she said beautiful, so beaut and she was unconscious again."
"Did she see you from far away or were you close to her?"
Robin was surprised at the question. Roddy wanted everything, just like he had grilled both she and the Professor when they had finished with Jessie. She was exhausted and the doctor was attending her arm when the questions started. He was good to tell her that he needed to hear all this to help assess how much danger they might still be in, and he didn’t allow her to leave anything out. Even the heated exchange she and Jessie had in the Van when they were being shot at.
"Robin I need to….."
She raised her hand to stop him, "I’m sorry I was just thinking. She looked right into my eyes Roddy."
"Did it seem she recognized you when she said the words?" The question had come from the doctor who had joined them.
"Oh, ah no not really. Maybe she did, but she seemed so foggy. I really don’t think so doctor."
"Well Roddy, she is a nurse, I think we can go with her impression. She has seen plenty of patients awake from surgery," the man had said with a confident tone.
"Okay, I think I am gonna hang out with our unconscious friend for a while if you don’t mind Robin. You look tired. You should rest," he smiled and returned to the room.
"The man’s right child, you haven’t slept much in a while. I think you should give it a try," the Professor touched her arm gently like a loving grandfather.
Robin was tired and she was now more hopeful, she knew she needed rest, "Please come get me right away if she wakes up Professor and you’ve got a deal."
"As good as done lass. Off with ya now," he smiled at her reassuringly.
Robin had awoken because she was hungry. Her sleepy eyes searched for a clock and found none in the room she was in. So she wandered out to the kitchen. They were in a very nice home of a retired widowed doctor. It was beautiful. It reminded her of what some rich older British homes looked like on TV and in some magazines she had seen. There was a lot of mahogany woodwork inside. The library must have taken a forest of wood to build. There was a beautiful ceiling in the living room as she recalled from the only time she had been permitted into that room. It was off limits due to too many windows according to Roddy though the drapes were drawn, that he felt the front of the house less secure than the rest. The kitchen had windows but she was permitted in there.
She poured herself some milk, got a few cookies from the rooster cookie jar and sat down at the kitchen table. It was 3am according to the clock on the microwave. She was still groggy. No one had come to get her, so that meant Jessie was not awake. The home was quiet. She knew there were hidden guards outside the home. She had seen one of them report something to Roddy once. She just assumed there had to be more outside.
Padding softly to the emergency type room, she knocked lightly on the door. It was quickly opened by a very tired looking Roddy. He yawned.
"I hope you’re my relief," he smiled at her.
"Oh of course, you must be tired. Are the Professor and the doctor asleep too?"
"The Professor went back to his life. But the doctor is here and yes probably asleep. I really do want to know as soon as she wakes up. But I need some sack time too. So do you mind sitting here a while?" he asked kindly though he must have known the answer.
"No problem, I was hoping I could sit with her a while. Please go get some sleep Roddy. I will wake you as soon as she opens those eyes. Do you want me to shout or leave her to come get you?" Robin asked not sure what he expected.
"I’m a light sleeper. Just say my name loudly, no shouting necessary. I wouldn’t want to alarm anyone. Unless of course you need any help, anything unusual, then by all means shout till we all get here," he instructed looking directly in her eyes to be sure the message got through.
"I’ve got it, now get some rest. I have a feeling keeping you alert means I live longer so please rest," she smiled wryly hoping her gratefulness was clear.
Smiling broadly, "You’re right I’m afraid, lets just hope I can get my mind to shut off for a bit. Thanks," he walked toward the living room.
Robin checked vitals again. The respiration was a bit low, but that was to be expected. After she satisfied herself that the patient was resting well she settled into a chair. She was still tired and before she new it she dosed off.
She woke up with a start as she climbed out of a dream reminiscent of the nightmare she had lived since she had wakened to muffled bullet sounds in her bedroom. She was dreaming about that night when she was terrified that the gunman who had just shot at something on the floor of her bedroom was going to shoot her next. Then someone else had flown into the room and shot the gunman and Robin was so stunned she hadn’t been able to move, it had all happened so fast. Then she was looking into those amazing eyes again. It had taken her a few minutes to register that this was Jessie, the doghouse mover. The whole night came back to her and she was glad to be awake rather than living it in a dream again. She looked at Jessie, wishing she could see those eyes again.
There were no windows in the room, but there was a clock, it was 7am. Morning was dawning of the third day of this odyssey. She moved to the bedside and stroked the bandaged face and grasped the strong hand again.
"Jessie, or Tra…. Is it Tracy or what."? She hadn’t really thought of what the name could be. But there couldn’t be many women’s names that began with Tra.
"I wish I knew your real name Jessie. Maybe you would respond to it. I hope you can hear me. I hope you know that someone is with you. You need to keep fighting. I haven’t been able to thank you for saving my life you know. I really want to do that. I wish I knew why Jessie. Why you needed to save my life. Not why the bullets were flying, but why you seemed to need to stop them."
Robin looked up at the ceiling. Everything was so strange. She didn’t really know her own feelings. She just felt. She was numb except for this woman. Why?
Still looking at the ceiling she poured out her thoughts and feelings to the unconscious woman, "I keep asking myself if I know you. Have I met you? How do you know me, or do you? Your eyes seemed to say you do Tra. Or maybe it’s just my imagination. I can’t believe that you would die to save me. Logic says you don’t know me but I think I hope you do know me. And I don’t even know why I wish that Jessie."
She looked back at the woman’s face as she heard a groan. The eyes were fluttering again. There was a little more moaning. The eyelids were moving; she looked as if she may be dreaming.
"Jessie, Tra I’m right here. Open your eyes, you can do it. I’m here. You can wake up, you’re okay Jessie." Robin pleaded as she tenderly squeezed the woman’s hand.
"RODDY, Roddy is here Jessie, come on. That’s it, yeah." She smiled widely as those blues eyes came into focus and looked into to hers.
Jessie’s eyes widened as if with recognition, "Mm..dreem….I…dreemnn…..you’re drem…..Robn… my beautful… mm …..," the drugged woman’s speech was slurred and she drifted away just as Roddy came rushing in.
"No its Roddy, I’m here, listen to my voice. Come on my little ice queen, wake up. Don’t leave, it’s me Roddy and Robin is here. Robin is right here," Roddy nodded encouragement at the nurse.
"Yes I’m here Jessie. I’m here."
Roddy put his hand over Robin’s, which was holding Trace’s hand and squeezed. "See she’s right here waiting for you to wake up, she’s holding your hand. You need to wake up and see Robin. She wants to see you. Robin is fine Tr….. Robin is fine," Roddy sighed in frustration.
"She’s back out Roddy. I’m sorry but I did call you."
"You did, I know. Was she awake long?"
"No, it was only a moment, but it was longer than last time. She kept saying dream, she said, ‘you’re my dream I think.’ She said the words beautiful again. It was mumbled but that’s what it seemed like she said. And this time she recognized me. When she looked in my eyes, hers widened as if she knew me."
"Good. What were you doing? Were you talking to her or touching her?"
"Um yeah, I was talking to her and held her hand."
"Robin, I am sorry but I have to ask, what were you saying?" Roddy’s question was obviously uncomfortable for him, but said out of what seemed necessity to him.
"Well, okay I was asking her to wake up. Told her I hoped she knew she wasn’t alone and told her I wanted to thank her for saving my life. I ah, well stuff like that."
"Please Robin, the whole thing, what did you say, I’m sorry but…" the man looked apologetic but insistent.
"Well its no surprise to you that I am frustrated at not knowing anything Roddy. You have to admit, I have a right to know more things. Even if you are protecting me by not saying anything. So I was telling her I wanted to know why she saved my life. I told her I wanted to know her real name. I wanted to know if she knew me or was I just a job. I told her it seemed to me like she needed to save me, like it meant something personal to her to save me. I want to know if that’s true and I was saying things like that." Robin looked down at the woman’s hand she still grasped.
"Good. I understand why you would say those things Robin. But what’s important is that those really are things that might bring her to consciousness for a moment. You’re probably the key to bringing her around. So yes, keep talking to her. Reassure her periodically that you are well, that you’re safe. No one is near that can harm you. Just speak to her periodically, let her hear your voice and feel your touch. I think she’ll come around better if you do," he smiled reassuringly at her.
"Okay Roddy. I’ll stay with her. I really wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now," Robin confessed a little.
His eyes looked pained. He had all the answers to so much and he would tell her if he could, she could see that in his face. But he was resolved that she know only what Jessie wanted to be known.
"I need to check a few things. I hope the doc wakes soon. I’ll be in the living room," he nodded as he left.
"Well, it’s just you and me till the doc gets here Jessie. I’m not going to leave you know. I will be right here," she squeezed the woman’s hand.
Robin pulled the chair closer and sat down. She sat in deep thought for a while. Coming to herself as she heard Roddy’s low voice in the living room.
"Roddy seems to think that you need to hear my voice. That you need to know I’m okay. I need you to know I am okay, Jessie," her voice held a gentle tender tone she knew she felt.
"From the sound of Roddy’s voice and some things he said, you ‘need’ me to be safe. Just like I thought. He knows why too, doesn’t he Jessie? He knows why you need this so badly. God I wish I knew. I wish I knew you. Your eyes belong to someone I want to know I think, that’s how it feels. I know I can’t really put much stock in my feelings right now. This is all so bizarre. But I want to know the person who ‘needs’ me to be alive Jessie. You probably don’t want me to know much about you. You were so mean in the van to me. Then you were almost crying when you thought something was wrong with me like I might have taken a bullet."
Robin paused as she thought about why for millionth time. She had a feeling that she may never know. If, no wait, When the raven haired beauty woke up she would likely say very little and tell Roddy what the next move was. Robin didn’t want to think of the next move.
"But first thing is first, Jessie. You have to wake up you know. I must at least have the chance to say thank you Jessie."
"Good Morning Robin. How’s the patient?" the doctor’s question broke her monologue.
"She woke up again. It was longer this time but not by too much. She mumbled more about beautiful dream."
"Did she recognize you this time?" the doctor questioned as he checked the vitals.
"Oh definitely. Her eyes widened as she looked at me this time. She knew it was me."
"Has she stirred other than that?"
"No doctor she’s been quiet. I thought I would hear more moaning or signs of dreaming. But no, it’s been very quiet."
"You know the condition she’s in. We just keep watch. Have you had breakfast?"
Robin was definitely hungry. She shook her head.
"Well I am afraid my hospitality isn’t much to talk about. Please help yourself. If you feel like cooking anything simple then go ahead. Make yourself at home. I’ll stay with her while you get some food in you. You might think of a nap too, you look a bit tired as well. I’ll check that wound before you lie down though. Now go get some nourishment." He was quite business like and matter of fact.
"Thank you for everything doctor. You’ve opened your home to shelter me. I know you are connected with Roddy, but thank you just the same," Robin wanted him to know his hospitality was more than great. Giving her shelter from bad guys with guns was pretty hospitable in her book.
"Roddy wouldn’t be involved in anything like this if it wasn’t worth while. I’m a healer, helping people is what you and I do. So now go help yourself heal and eat girlie," this was said with a little fondness at the end.
She smiled her gratitude and turned to the kitchen. Cooking would be a dream. A task of normalcy in an extraordinarily abnormal life right now. Though her arm was extremely sore, she needed this. So she ignored the pain, took her arm out of the sling and busied herself in the kitchen. Before long there were eggs, warm toasted bagels, and bacon on the table. There was also a hungry looking Roddy standing in the kitchen doorway with a grin on his face.
"Wow, that smells smashing love. Might I have a morsel or six?" the man was smiling from ear to ear. Obviously the way to this one’s heart was by food.
Robin chuckled a bit and said, "I made enough for you, me and the doc. Shall I make any for whomever else might be lurking around the shrubberies?"
"Well it’s a thankless job protecting the shrubs. Its honest work but with no perks like homemade breakfast," he quipped as he took a seat.
She smiled at the pleasure this gave her, "I’m so glad to do something normal. I love to cook. This took a bit of time. Do you think I should go relieve the doctor so he can eat? I haven’t spoken to her in a while?"
"I think the cook should have a seat and enjoy the meal. This is great. Was there jelly or anything in the fridge?"
"Oh, I got out the cream cheese but didn’t check for any jelly."
"Marmalade, my favorite," the man held up a half empty jar as he returned to his seat.
They got down to the business of eating. As they munched she thought the Australian red bearded man seemed to be a happy camper.
He was working on his second bagel and more bacon when he looked at her and asked, "So ya like to cook then. Well, you’re a gardener and a nurse. You don’t subscribe to cooking magazines? Have you had classes on cooking? "
She looked at him oddly "Oh, no classes. I have watched cooking shows. But I just like to cook. I started with a Betty Crocker cookbook and just found my way from there," she said remembering about offering Jessie ham sandwiches. It had all been a rouse. Why go to such lengths?
"Do people know you for your cooking, then too? Like do you enter contests or are you famous at church for a certain dish? Do folks think of you as a good cook and talk about it?"
She thought this a strange line of questions, very detailed about her being a cook. She thought for a moment, "Well no, not really just family, I guess."
"Dmm…...Rbn,….Robn…..no………naw…….Robn….RUN…….no,..she’s……Not NO……Robn……Don’t, ROBIN RUN, ROBIN, NO NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
By the time Trace’s mumbling had turn to screaming, Robin had hold of her hand looking into terrified eyes, "Jessie, Jessie, its Robin I’m here, I’m okay, everything is okay, I’m fine Jessie. You are alright, and I’m fine, you saved me Jessie its okay," she was staring into dazed and confused eyes by now.
"It’s me Jessie, I’m here," Robin squeezed Jessie’s hand and touched the woman’s face tenderly.
"Robin is fine. She’s right here, we’re safe now, do you hear me girl? Calm down, its under control," Roddy was trying to reassure the woman.
But Trace’s eyes were locked onto Robin, and it wasn’t completely clear if she was in a dream state or awake.
The heart machine was beeping rapidly but as Robin spoke it began to calm down, "That’s right, I’m fine. You saved me Jessie. Don’t worry I’m safe now. You need to breathe deeply Jessie; I need you to calm down. You’re hurt, but the doctor is taking care of you. You are in a safe place Jessie. Roddy is here making sure everything is safe. We are safe Jessie, both of us. You’re okay. Now breath deep. Shhhhhhh, its okay."
Jessie was fading again. At first her eyes were wide open with fear. But as Robin spoke she calmed down and looked as though she was fighting to keep her eyes open and glued Robin. Once she was calmed and unconscious, Roddy asked, "What happened doc?"
"I had looked at some bandages. Most of them had to be replaced with new. She was quiet during that time. Then I sat down and was looking over my morning newspaper She moaned some so I spoke to her to let her know she wasn’t alone and her moaning became stuttered speech, her heart rate shot up and you know the rest, she started shouting. Sounded like she was reliving some of what happened to you out there Robin."
"It did, yeah it did doc. Did she hurt herself any?" Roddy asked.
"Not that I can see," was the man’s reply as he was looking over his patient thoroughly. Particularly paying attention to the wound involving the stitches in her mouth.
"Robin do you think she was in a dream or did she see you, did she recognize you or was she still dreamin?"
"At the end I think she was awake. She was trying to keep looking at me, but at first I think it was all dream. She’s calm now. Doc if you’re satisfied that all is well, go grab some breakfast. I cooked some bacon and stuff; it’s on the table. I’m staying here for a while."
"I’ve been smelling the breakfast and feeling my stomach protest. After I eat, I’ll come back and put a new dressing on your arm as well and then dear girl, you’re takin a nap. Doc’s orders," the man smiled.
"Now let me at some food," he said as he disappeared into the kitchen.
"If you’re good then, I’ll finish my breakfast and head off to do a bit more business," Roddy smiled.
"Remember, talk to her. She really seems to respond to that."
"We’ll be fine Roddy. Go to your breakfast, its cold by now."
"Cold or not, its still good, thanks a bunch girl."
Still holding the woman’s hand Robin spoke in gentle tones, "Well now Jessie, you scared us a bit. The doc looked you over, so you probably didn’t tear the stitches in your mouth. I hope you’re not having bad dreams. Everything is fine, thanks to you. All is well here. You just need to rest now. Just remember, I’m fine. I promise, I am just fine. If you dream of me, then think of me in my garden with my flowers."
That made her think of her now non-existent garden. So many questions and no one could say anything. She was tired of not knowing. Robin hadn’t got to finish her breakfast but at least she’d had enough to not be so hungry now.
"You know Roddy asked me about cooking, Jessie. I cooked breakfast and the man lit up like a Christmas tree when he came to the table. He asked about my cooking. Funny. He asked weird things about it."
"Your cooking is good and welcome, I can tell you that," the doctor ground out his sentence as he was munching on a piece of bacon.
"I need to wash my hands then I’ll look at your arm."
"It is throbbing quite a bit."
"How’s it feel after all that excursion?" the man was back to the doctor business as he washed his hands.
Looking at the monitors Robin frowned at the heart rate, the pressure had dropped some too.
"I’m gonna have a look, but first," he said reaching up in the cupboard, "you take these. And when you need more just come on in and get them."
She took the pills as directed while he attended her arm.
"It looks fine, it’s healing well. But it needs the sling and you know it. We’re the worst patients, doctors and nurses. Now whether you’re tired or not you are lying down at least for a while," his tone was firm yet caring.
"I’m tired doc, but I’m worried about Jessie. Her vitals have dropped some."
"Robin, I know we want things to turn out well, but you know how precarious things are," he eyed the heart rate.
"I know the chances, but I can’t help the hope I cling to. This has to be okay doc, it has to be." Neither one of them wanted to speak too descriptively in case Jessie were unconsciously receiving these words.
"Well girl hope is a must. Without hope we are lost. But know well what is the possible end of this particular hope nurse."
He was a good man. Robin liked him.
"She likes my voice, doc. Don’t let me sleep too long. I need to come in and talk to her some."
"She’ll be fine Robin. I’ll see to it. Get some rest."
Robin knew she would have liked working with the doctor in the real world. He seemed like a rare one who respected nurses. She munched the rest of her toast before going into the bedroom. Despite the throbbing it had been good to cook. She thought about Roddy’s questions again. They had been odd, or they way he’d asked had been odd. She wasn’t famous or known for cooking. Of course her mom would argue about her homemade chocolate chip cookies. For some reason her mom loved her chocolate chip cookies. She made them from scratch but Nestle Tollhouse was just as good in her opinion. Not mom, she smiled at the bias she knew was there.
Robin’s heart began to hurt. It was growing sadder by the moment as she realized that in all this craziness she had not once thought of her family. She hadn’t thought of how scared they would be. How devastated they would be right now. They thought she was dead. Her husband was, but they thought she was dead too no doubt. Her home was non-existent now looking like a war zone. What else were they going to think? God, what was wrong with her. She sat down on the bed and felt so alone in the world. Robin curled up into a ball and felt the tears start as the dread began to come full force upon her. No questions had been answered, so much she didn’t know. But she felt it; she was never going to see her mother again. She wasn’t ever going to be Robin Trenton. She really was dead. Robin’s sobs were quiet. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself. She didn’t need company, she needed the release of many unshed tears.
"BIN…ROBIN!," She woke up to screaming. But she was disoriented. What time was it? Where was she, who was shouting?
"ROBIN!"
It was Roddy, he was yelling for her. He was with Jessie and the Doctor. When Robin came into the room Jessie was mumbling as she had in the early morning, having a bad dream but her eyes weren’t open.
"nnnnnn……noooo, she……cnt…..nt….mmmmm…..no……run Robn…..ROBIN….."
"Jessie shhh Jessie, I’m hear, listen to my voice Jessie. I’m alive Jessie. I’m here with you, I’ve got you Jessie, its okay."
"She gonna tear stitches, we need to calm her, get her heart rate down," the doctor’s voice was alarmed.
"JESSIE," Robin raised her voice to get through to the woman.
"Her name is Trace, Robin use the name Trace," Roddy said with resignation.
"TRACE, it’s Robin. Trace its me. Its Robin, feel my hands Jes, ah, Trace. Its all right Trace, I’m safe, you’re safe. Its me Robin, you saved me Trace. We’re okay. You need to breath. Come to my voice Trace, come on, come to my voice. I know you can. Its Robin, I need to see you Trace, look at me, open your eyes."
Trace’s eyes came open slowly as her thrashing slowed.
"That’s it Trace, open those blue eyes. Come to my voice, its Robin, I’m right here Trace. I’m with you Trace." Robin smiled at the beautiful woman fondly.
Foggy eyes blinked many times not really focusing and then finding the red headed woman.
"My drem….I dreemm you…..Robin, names Robin."
That’s right Trace, you know me, yes I’m Robin. You saved me Trace, I’m safe and so are you. We’re okay."
Trace’s breathing had slowed; her heart rate was calming down.
Robin had come close to the woman’s face so she wouldn’t have to strain. Trace stared into Robin’s eyes with such love in her own Robin was breathless. Tears were brimming in those loving eyes as she mumbled through the bandages and stitches, "Yu’re beauful, Robin. You dreemmm, buk in luv wid you….." Trace’s eyes began to flutter but she still held Robin’s eyes with her own looking deeply, but fading quickly, "dreemmm…….killd my dreemmm, mine luv.. …dree….luv yooouu……"
The words were mumbled but understandable. She had said she was in love with a dream and Robin was her dream. The look in her eyes was so real but Robin couldn’t tell if the woman was awake or in the dream this time. Robin didn’t understand, she couldn’t comprehend all that was going on. Why would this woman love her so much, what were they keeping from her, what was happening. She looked at the digital clock displaying 1:00am. They had entered another day of this bizarre nightmare. But it was in this nightmare that this woman she didn’t even know may love her. ‘In love’ the woman had said ‘in love.’ But she was mumbling. No, its not, Robin couldn’t really seem to focus. She felt like she was the one in a dream world.
She heard it, the heart rate disappeared. Trace was flat lined. She felt faint. She couldn’t hear very well, her heart was thudding in her ears; it was all muffled like they were under water.
"Robin I’ve got the paddles ready, clear, I’m gonna shock her," there were arms that pulled her away so the doctor could shock the dying woman. The beautiful dying woman who loved her?
Robin, felt sick, she saw herself start CPR on the woman. It all seemed in slow motion. She had to be the one dreaming. This wasn’t real. She had taken a nap. The doctor had readied the paddles and shocked Trace again with no result.
Robin remembered those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes and felt sick as she thought she wouldn’t get to see them again. Her heart hurt. It didn’t make sense. She was feeling so much more than she understood. She felt so odd, as if she could help this woman if she just new the truth.
"Trace I’m alive," she said informatively.
Robin took the woman’s hand saying again a bit more emphatically, "I am alive Trace. You want me alive and I AM Alive. Trace, I’m alive!!!!!!!"
She felt arms pull her away again, as she saw the doctor shock the lifeless body once again. There was nothing.
"I’ll shock her again, but it may be over," Robin saw the doctor mouth the words, "I think she’s dead."
Robin’s face contorted in so much pain, she doubled over and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Suddenly reality struck her. The pain was so intense, it made no sense. But she could hear, she could understand that Trace was dying. It was real. There wasn’t a dream to wake up from. The woman was actually going to die. Anguish hit her again and this time she almost lost herself. Feeling herself ready to pass out, she reached down inside herself and refused. She had to reach this woman this beautiful woman. She had to know why, why did this woman love her. It felt familiar, the love, the pain, and the loss.
Robin took Trace’s hand firmly, got up close to the woman’s ear and said, "Trace, its Robin, I am not a dream I am real and I don’t’ want you to die. I need you to live. If you really do love me, then you won’t die. You don’t leave people you love. So prove it to me Trace, Don’t Leave Me. Please, Please TRACE do not leave me here alive and alone!"
The voice that had begun steady and determined was nothing but pain and agony as she uttered the last two words, alive and alone.
Beep, Beep, Beep
The heart rate was back. Robin watched the doctor check the woman’s vitals but she knew, she knew Trace was back. And she knew the blue-eyed warrior had come back for her. She fainted.