Sarah pulled the pillow over her head to muffle the sound of knocking on her front door. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to lie in bed until it stopped hurting. Sarah knew she should be studying, but she just didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered except this aching torment.

"Are you sick?"

Sarah cringed at the sound of Maggie's voice from the foot of her bed. "Go away."

"Answer me. Are you sick?"

"No." She felt Maggie's weight as she sat on the edge of the bed and allowed the pillow to be taken away. Fighting for it might hurt the old woman and she didn't want that.

"All right then. I want you to tell me what's gotten into the two of you. Neither of you are eating enough to keep a rat alive. Jordan hardly comes out at all and you're dragging around like you're on the edge of death. What's wrong?"

Sarah hadn't thought she had any tears left in her, but they came anyway. "I don't want to talk about it."

"What has the Master done?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Of course you are. You're laying in bed on a Sunday afternoon with tears in your eyes like you always do. Are you under the impression that I'm stupid? Something has happened and I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what it is. You might as well tell me now because I'll nag you until you do. What's wrong?"

Sarah began to cry in earnest, and she was taken into Maggie's embrace. She cried until she was sick. Maggie held her hair back while she dry-heaved over the toilet and gave Sarah a cool wet cloth when it was over.

"This isn't good for you, dear. Whatever is eating you up inside has to come out or you will make yourself sick. Tell me what happened."

Sarah pressed the wet cloth against her face with shaky hands. "I'm so tired," she said weakly. "I just can't do this anymore."

"Back into bed, dear."

She had no choice but to let Maggie help her. She couldn't have done it on her own even if she wanted to. Once between the sheets, she heard Maggie in the kitchen and numbly listened to the sound of cupboard doors and the microwave. Never in her whole life had she felt so drained and helpless.

"Here's some broth, honey. You need something in your stomach. Being dehydrated will only make you feel worse."

The smell of the broth was tempting. Sarah was quickly propped up with pillows and she held the warm liquid under her nose. It tasted wonderful and the warmth was welcoming.

"Now," Maggie said as she sat down on the bed. "Tell me what's troubling you."

It was odd to feel like she was crying and yet have dry eyes. "I think I need to find another job."

Maggie frowned. "Why?"

Sarah put her head back and closed her eyes. "Because I'm in love with Jordan."

"Isn't he in love with you?"

Her throat was tight with grief. "That's the problem."

"Being in love is a problem? I don't understand, dear."

"I can't be in love, Maggie. Not now. Not with Jordan. I just can't."

"Why ever not? If he loves you and you love him, where's the problem?"

Afraid she was going to spill the broth, Sarah shakily moved it to the nightstand and collapsed into her pillows. "I'm not ready, Maggie. I don't know anything about how to love someone. I don't know if I can be what Jordan needs."

"Ah. You're worried about meeting his needs in the dungeon. Have you talked to him about that? Do you know what it is that he needs?"

"She doesn't need me there," Sarah admitted. "She's got all of the players to keep her satisfied."

"Oh, for God's sake," Maggie grumbled. "How could the two of you not have talked about this before now? Do you really not know what Jordan does up there?"

"It's none of my business," Sarah said sadly.

"Of course it is! You love him!"

The last thing she wanted to handle was Maggie angry. Sarah reached out to take her hand. "I can't ask her to give up her other lovers and I don't think I can share her. I've tried not to think about it and I never wanted to change her. Maybe I should just go while I still can."

"Let me get this straight. You want monogamy, but you don't think Jordan is capable of it and you're afraid to ask for it. If I know you at all, you're still under the impression that you aren't good enough for Jordan under any circumstances. On top of that, you're scared to death that Jordan will want things of you in the dungeon that you just can't give. Is that all of it? Did I miss anything?"

"Isn't that enough?"

Maggie chuckled fondly and smoothed Sarah's hair from her face. "As a matter of fact, it's too much. You are laboring under some big misconceptions, dear. Most of what you're suffering from is either self-inflicted or the result of very poor communication. You really need to talk to Jordan. Nothing is as impossible as it seems."

"I can't talk to her right now."

"I've got something to say to you, and you'd better listen real hard. You are the only one who thinks you aren't good enough for Jordan. I've heard the logic and the excuses and it's all hogwash. Your fear isn't about the money or the dungeon or age. You're still listening to your parents. Stop it. Stop it right now. The two of you need each other. You gentle him and he strengthens you. I'm not saying there won't be problems and issues, but you can work them out together. You may never have another chance at the kind of love you offer each other. Don't throw it away over things that don't matter. If you've done your best and it just isn't working out, that's one thing, but to sabotage it before it begins is just stupid. You don't strike me as a stupid woman. Talk to him. Tell him everything you think and feel. Make him tell you everything in his heart. The way you feel right now, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

Sarah closed her eyes and began to drift. "I'm so tired."

"All right, dear. You get some sleep. This will all work out. You'll see."

It was an odd sort of sleep; hazy and unclear. She thought about getting up to turn off the television, but the drone of voices was rather familiar and somehow comforting. At one point, she was aware that someone was touching her hair. It felt really nice, and she wanted to say thank you, but she just couldn't find the energy.

The weight of an arm across her middle finally roused her from the misty doze. She knew at once that it was Jordan and guilt prompted her to speak. "Oh, Jordan. I'm so sor…"

"Don't. Do not apologize to me, Sarah. You did nothing wrong. In fact, I should be the one apologizing to you."

Sarah went over the parking lot disaster in her mind. She turned under Jordan's arm so she could see her face. "For what?"

A smile of irony appeared briefly. "It took four days and Maggie reaming me but good to realize that I've done you a grave disservice. But first, how are you feeling? Maggie called and said you were sick."

"I just cried too much I think." Sarah frowned. "What do you mean about Maggie? What did she say to you?"

"In a nutshell? I'm a jackass. What did she say to you?"

Sarah was too happy to see Jordan to censor her words. "That I'm the only one who doesn't think I'm good enough for you. And something about being stupid, but I'm not sure if she meant that I was or wasn't. You aren't a jackass."

"Actually, I am. And you are."

Sarah pulled back in surprise. "I'm a jackass?"

Jordan smiled and pulled Sarah closer. "No. You're only one who thinks I deserve better than you."

Sarah doubted that sentiment, but she said nothing as Jordan rose up on an elbow to lean over her.

"I love you, Sarah Wylie."

Embarrassed, she looked away, but Jordan moved into her line of sight and she was captured by the intense blue eyes.

Jordan's voice was soft, but riveting. "There isn't room in me to feel anything else, little one. I love you. I am completely adrift within my love for you. I love everything about you. It is beyond my ability to imagine ever feeling even a fraction of what I feel for anyone else, even were I to live a thousand years. I love you."

Her instinct was to say something funny to ease the tension of the moment, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say. Jordan was serious. It took her a second to hear the words that came out of her mouth. "Why me?"

"I don't know, baby. I could write volumes on what I love about you, but why? I just don't know. All I know is that I do love you. Something in you touches me in a way I've never known before. It's not because you're so beautiful or smart or funny (though I love those things beyond measure). It just is. You don't have to be or do anything to deserve it. I love you precisely the way you are."

Sarah was afraid she was going to start crying again. Her fingers crept up to touch Jordan's perfect mouth and she felt the gentle kisses within her bones. "I'm not ready, Jordan."

"Well," Jordan remarked dryly, "if you think I'm going to let you go off and practice love with someone else, you can just forget it. We can learn together." She frowned abruptly. "By the way, just what is it you think I do upstairs?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I assume you play."

Jordan sighed. "I'm the Dungeon Master, little one. Do you remember from the books what it is that DM's do?"

Sarah thought for a moment and the information came to her. "They watch everyone to make sure they are safe?"

"Exactly."

It didn't make any sense. "You don't play?"

"No," Jordan said firmly.

"Then, you aren't a player?"

"I am, but I don't play in my dungeon." Jordan shifted on her elbow to get more comfortable and rubbed Sarah's arm. "I make the rounds and check on everyone. Every once in a while, someone will ask me to evaluate their technique with a tool or device, or give them advice on how to make a binding more effective or comfortable, but for the most part, I make sure no one is being harmed, either deliberately or accidentally. Part of my duties as DM require me to occasionally touch people in sexual ways, but it's really no more sexual than a gynecological exam to a gynecologist. I'm not a participant. I'm the host. I should have explained that to you a long time ago. I'm sorry I failed to do so."

Sarah felt a profound relief mingled with sadness at the loneliness of Jordan's life. "I thought you were playing up there."

"I admit that I often get excited by what I see, but I handle that on my own after the players are gone. The only playing I've done in my dungeon has been by myself."

"It sounds lonely," Sarah said quietly.

Jordan nodded thoughtfully. "It has been, yes. I want to talk to you about this in depth, but there are other things I don't want to forget to say. First of all, you were right about me. I've had a lot of time to think these last four interminable days. I do love being a man. I love it just as much as I love being a woman. Instead of embracing that about myself, I've been resenting it because I felt it kept anyone from really knowing me, which is really stupid because it was a choice I made consciously. I've justified that choice by saying that it made other people more comfortable with me. I've come to see that I used it to keep people away. I've used it to hide from the possibility of love. Better to be unknown and unloved than to risk heartache. And then you came into my life. Not only do you see past my defenses, but you also seem to enjoy them. You really don't care what I am, do you?"

"No," Sarah said softly. "Or maybe it's not that I don't care, but that I like how different you are. You transcend gender and make it unimportant."

Jordan licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I want to be a man for you and a woman with you. Does that make sense?"

It sounded perfect. "Yes."

"And you're okay with me being so bizarre?"

Sarah couldn't help a smile. "It might creep me out if it were anyone else, but on you it works."

"Thank you." Jordan caressed Sarah's face and then laid back so they were face to face. "Can you tell me what happened the other day? How you were feeling?"

Sarah moved fully into Jordan's arms and laid her cheek against the smooth chest. "I think I scared myself. I didn't know I was going to say that. About . . . you know."

"That pesky four-letter L word."

"Yeah. I just couldn't talk about it then."

"All right. I understand."

The guilt was still there and Sarah had to do something to alleviate it. "I know I hurt you, Jordan. I could see it in your face."

"Don't, little one."

Sarah pulled back a little so she could look into Jordan's eyes. "I never intended to hurt you. Knowing that I did made me feel terrible, but all I could think of was getting away. I had to get away. I'm so sorry about that."

"Hush, baby. There's nothing to forgive. You had every right to ask for space and I handled it with pitiful grace. I'm the one who needs to apologize for letting you down. You always have the right to demand what you need to be healthy and happy. Always."

Sarah put her head back to Jordan's chest. "I didn't do so well this time, did I? I've missed you so much. I've been miserable."

"I've missed you, too, baby."

Jordan's hands were rubbing her back in long, slow strokes and it felt wonderful. Sarah twined a leg with Jordan's and held on. A single question burned until she had to ask it. "Am I your girlfriend?"

"Yes, baby."

It was a little frightening, but it felt good, too. "I've never been anybody's girlfriend before." Jordan began a rhythmic rocking motion with their bodies and Sarah relaxed completely. "How long until you have to go back to the house for the party?"

"I don't," Jordan answered. "I taped a sign to the front gate that it was cancelled."

"I don't have to work in the morning?"

"No."

"Thanks," she said gratefully.

"You're welcome."

Sarah's belly unexpectedly rumbled. "Sorry."

Jordan chuckled. "I think you're hungry."

"I am, but I don't want to move."

"How about I make us something to eat, and you can stay right here?"

"I don't want you to move either," Sarah mumbled into her shirt. "I want to stay like this forever."

"So do I, baby, but we have to eat sometime. I'd rather do it now than have to get up in the middle of the night."

Sarah's heart beat faster and her skin prickled deliciously. "Are you going to sleep here?"

"Yes, I am."

The fact that Jordan was telling her instead of asking made her shiver with excitement. One thought jumped to the forefront. "I need to take a shower and brush my teeth."

Jordan chuckled. "All right, little one. You shower and I'll cook. Are you hungry for anything in particular?"

"Anything sounds fine."

Sarah tried to hurry, but she'd been somewhat careless in her hygiene the last few days. She had to shave her legs and armpits, and her hair really needed conditioning. She wanted to be clean for Jordan. Anticipation made her skin so sensitive it almost hurt. Her hands trembled as she brushed her teeth and blew her hair dry. Sarah hardly recognized herself in the mirror.

Wearing her robe, she stepped into the bedroom and halted. The living room coffee table was in her bedroom and was arranged with candles, soup in coffee mugs and grilled sandwiches. Jordan was a woman now, clad only in socks, boxers and her shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal her forearms, but it was the long, lean legs that Sarah stared at. They went on for days. She wanted to start at Jordan's toes and work her way up.

"Food first," Jordan said in a husky voice. "Eat, before I forget myself completely."

Sarah now knew beyond a doubt that they were going to make love. The air hummed with tension and her stomach was tied in a knot. She couldn't possibly eat while she was this aroused. Reaching back, she turned off the bathroom light. The flicker of the candles was like a promise.

Sitting on pillows across from each other, Sarah forced herself to take a bite of the warm cheese sandwich. Hunger instantly overrode everything else. "Oh, my god. This is good." Jordan grinned and began to eat. Sarah could hardly eat fast enough. The tomato soup had a flavor she'd never noticed before. "This tastes different."

"Butter."

"You put butter in it?"

"Good, huh?"

"Delicious."

"Glad you like it."

Sarah reached for a second sandwich. "Do you like to cook?"

"Sometimes. I make a mean stroganoff."

"I love stroganoff."

Jordan wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Then I suggest that next Sunday, you come to my place for dinner and afterward we'll watch a movie in my theater. I have a nice selection of lesbian films and if we make out in the back row, the manager won't mind."

Sarah laughed. "I just bet he won't."

"He owes me a favor."

"I'll just bet he does."

"More soup?"

"Just a little, please."

Jordan finished eating first and left the bedroom. A few minutes later, music softly drifted into the room. It was a new age guitar CD that Sarah sometimes did her yoga to. Romance gently took center stage. Sarah put the rest of her sandwich down and carefully wiped her hands and mouth clean. Fear made her arousal quiver.

"Have you had enough to eat?"

Sarah looked up to see Jordan in the doorway, one hand unhurriedly unbuttoning the dark shirt. Her collarbones dissolved at the raw eroticism of it. "I'm a little scared."

Jordan moved closer and reached down for Sarah's hand. "Me, too, baby."

Sarah let herself be pulled to her feet and followed Jordan to the bed. The tall woman sat on the edge of it and guided Sarah between her knees. It felt strange to be taller and Sarah put her hands on Jordan's shoulders for balance. "Why are you scared?"

"I don't want to disappoint you. I want it to be perfect and I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for you."

Sarah's hands moved inside the collar of Jordan's shirt of their own volition. "That's how I feel." Warm, soft skin came alive under her fingers and Sarah sighed. "You're so soft."

"Kiss me, baby."

Kissing made the fear go away. It made vulnerability desirable and desire an aching torment. Sarah hardly noticed when her robe was opened. She was already as naked as it was possible to be. There was something graceful about the slowness with which Jordan slid her robe off and Sarah shuddered.

"It's okay, little one," Jordan whispered into her mouth.

Sarah could hardly breathe as strong hands began to gently explore her. Up her legs to cup her backside; feather touches in the small of her back; a slow caress over her belly; fanning out over her shoulder blades; sliding over her shoulders to gently cradle her breasts. Sarah was usually quiet during sex, but she moaned as Jordan's thumbs brushed her nipples and unhinged her knees. "I need to lay down."

"Not yet baby."

Not one to give up easily, Sarah opted to sit. Kneeling on either side of Jordan's hips, she sat on the long legs and tried to ignore the electric touch on her breasts as her hands pushed the cotton shirt over Jordan's shoulders. She was not at all disappointed in what she revealed. Jordan's breasts were smaller than her own, but they had a nice full shape, and the erect nipples were more brown than pink. She could almost taste them. "Beautiful," she said reverently.

Jordan's hands lowered to Sarah's hips and pulled her closer, her mouth recapturing Sarah's in a hungry kiss. The feel of skin on skin was almost unbearable. Sarah wrapped her arms around the broad shoulders and pressed herself into the silken warmth. Nothing had ever felt quite like this.

Distracted by the delicious mouth claiming her own, Sarah wasn't aware that she was being moved until she found herself on her back. Jordan pulled away from their kiss and brushed Sarah's hair from her face.

"If there's anything you don't want, don't be afraid to tell me. I'll stop if you ask me to."

Sarah ran her fingers through the dark hair above her. "I don't want you to stop."

"If you change your mind..."

Smiling, Sarah ran her fingertips over Jordan's full lips. They begged for more kisses. "Come here."

Kissing Jordan always made her feel a bit delirious. The feel of Jordan's soft skin along her length made it even more intense. Sarah couldn't get enough. Her hands stroked, pulled and kneaded everything she could reach as she licked and sucked at Jordan's mouth. The need for air became secondary to her need to crawl inside of Jordan and become a part of her.

Sarah groaned in protest as Jordan's mouth left hers. She groaned again as Jordan kissed down her throat. It felt like butterfly kisses and made her shiver from the inside out.

"Relax, baby. This is going to take a while."

"No, now. I want you."

Jordan chuckled deep in her throat and continued her torturous pace. It was driving Sarah mad. Her nipples were so hard they felt like they would shatter, and Jordan was kissing around them. Sarah shifted her breast to Jordan's mouth only to have Jordan move away.

"Jordan...I need you."

"I know."

"Please?"

Jordan lifted her head, fingers softly teasing the undersides of Sarah's breasts. "Are you even aware of how perfect you are?"

The husky depth of Jordan's voice gave her goosebumps.

"Let me love you, baby. Let me show you how you make me feel."

Sarah melted at the love she saw shining in her lover's eyes. "If this is how I make you feel, it's a wonder you haven't gone mad."

Jordan smiled. "Just relax, little one. Feel me."

Sarah closed her eyes and reveled in sensation. Gentle fingers stroked, teased and tickled her in places she'd never noticed before. Fingers were followed by hot kisses and tender bites. The inside of her elbows, the back of her knees, the center of her back, behind her ears, the back of her neck; Jordan brought them to life for her.

By the time Jordan's lips found her nipples, Sarah was awash in ecstasy. She clutched at the dark head, curling around it as icy fire streamed through her body. "Oh God, yes. A little harder...ooooh."

To Sarah's delight, Jordan loved her breasts and nipples until it felt like she was going to come. Her entire body was tense and trembling. "Please, Jordan...oh God. Please."

"Anything, baby."

Sarah watched as Jordan kissed down her belly, breathless with need. She laid her head back and prepared herself for the first touch of Jordan's mouth on her sex. To her surprise, she felt a brief kiss on her furred lips and then Jordan was beside her. Sarah surprised herself with a shuddering moan as Jordan's large hand slid between her legs.

"Is this what you want?"

Sarah nodded desperately.

"Open up for me, baby. Give me some room to play."

Sarah threw one leg over Jordan's hip, letting the other fall wide. Long fingers slid over her clit and Sarah rose to them.

"That's it, baby," Jordan crooned. "You feel so good. So wet and hot. Is this for me?"

Sarah could hardly breathe. Talking was out of the question. Threading her fingers through Jordan's hair, she opened her eyes to her lover, hoping that Jordan would see how strong her feelings were.

Jordan hummed, a smile resting on her lips. "I love your clitoris. I can feel her, rising to me, hard and slick. Is this what you like?"

Sarah rocked her hips against the maddening touch. She wanted to come, and she wanted it to never end. Sarah held on as a single finger slipped inside of her, curled up behind her clit, then pulled out to stroke the sensitive tip.

She could feel her orgasm coming and she gasped for air.

"Let go, baby. I'm right here. I've got you. So beautiful..."

Sarah squeezed her thighs together, trapping Jordan's hand as she shuddered to a warm and comforting release.

It was not the most powerful or most intense orgasm she had ever experienced, but it was the only one to ever bring Sarah to tears. No one had ever taken so much time giving her pleasure or looked at her with such love as she dissolved into bliss. She cried for a few minutes within the circle of Jordan's strong arms.

"Thank you," Jordan purred.

"I think I should be thanking you. You're going to get pretty tired of me crying on you."

"Not when it's the result of making love, little one. It's the greatest compliment of all. You're so responsive. I loved how you were and how soft you are now. You're so incredibly lovely."

Needing a moment to recover, Sarah curled into the safety of Jordan's chest. "It's like you knew how to touch me."

"You made it easy, baby. Your breath, the little sounds you made, your hands; I just listened to your responses. They told me what to do."

She knew what Jordan was saying. It was something she had done herself. She just hadn't known that she was so easy to read. There was one thing she wasn't sure about though. "When you started to go down on me, why did you stop?"

"You started to tense up. I got the impression that you don't like that. Was I wrong?"

This was Sarah's shameful secret; the one she had never shared with another lover. It felt okay to tell Jordan about it now. "I want to like it, but I never do. I like doing it, but it doesn't work for me."

"Can you tell me why?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "It hurts."

"Ah. Lesbian myth number one strikes again."

Sarah lay back so she was face to face with Jordan. "What is it?"

Jordan's smile was tender. "That lesbians automatically know how to do cunnilingus. That it's somehow second nature to us. It is so not true."

"Do you know how?"

"I've done it, but I don't instinctively know how your body likes it. Everyone is different. It sounds to me like you might need a slower approach and a gentler touch. Someday, if you want to experiment, I'd be happy to work with you on it. I take instruction very well and I promise it won't bruise my ego if you hate it. But, if you don't want to try it, that's okay, too."

Reassured, Sarah could clearly see that Jordan was aroused. Slipping a thigh between the long legs, she smiled at the hitch in Jordan's breathing. Maybe now she would finally get a chance to do some exploring of her own. All of her previous attempts had been subverted. "Do you like having it done to you?"

"Very much," Jordan moaned as her hips began to gently rock.

Sarah was enjoying the moment. "And how do you like it?"

"I like to be sucked. Soft at first, then harder. And licking the tip."

She was surprised to be receiving such explicit instructions. It was nice to know right from the start what would please her lover. Sarah tentatively pushed at Jordan's shoulder to lay her back on the bed and was pleased that there was no resistance. Running her fingertips over a dark nipple, she was rewarded with a breathless moan.

"I like that," Jordan whispered, her eyes dark with desire.

Smiling, Sarah began tracing circles on the pale flesh. Jordan was watching her raptly. "Maybe I'll take my time with you. Like you did with me."

"I'm all yours, baby."

Sarah took Jordan at her word. The wonder of having Jordan open and naked to her touch consumed her. Jordan was responsive to her like no one had ever been. She was very verbal about what she liked, offering suggestions and praise equally. Jordan guided Sarah's lovemaking freely with her hands, her voice and her body. Sarah felt like she was losing herself in the journey. The pleasure she gave came back to her with shocking intensity. She could not have said who was experiencing the greater pleasure. When she finally settled between Jordan's long legs with her mouth, it was like coming home. The taste, the texture, the sounds Jordan was making; it had been years since she had done this without a latex barrier and it completely overwhelmed her. Jordan's orgasm took Sarah along for the ride.

"Stop, baby, stop."

Spent, Sarah lay her head on one quivering thigh. Never had she felt so much a part of someone. Giving pleasure had never made her come before. Sarah placed her hand over the thick curls and could feel the spasms continuing in the hot flesh. "That was amazing."

"Oh, God," Jordan panted. "Come up here, little one. I need to hold you."

It took an effort she didn't think she had to spare, but Sarah wormed her way into Jordan's embrace. They held each other tightly, only gradually relaxing.

"I didn't expect that," Jordan finally said. "You wiped me out."

Sarah smiled proudly. "Not for good, I hope."

Jordan chuckled warmly. "Almost. You have the sweetest mouth. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Her smile faltered as she remembered. "I'm usually getting dressed by now. If they thought so, I wasn't there to hear it."

"Good."

"What?"

"I'm glad you weren't like this with anyone else. None of them had with you what I'm feeling right now."

Sarah pushed herself up on an elbow and stared down at Jordan. "Does it bother you that I was with so many women?"

"No. I've been with quite a few myself."

It looked like Jordan was telling the truth and it pulled honesty from deep within Sarah. "It bothers me. It seems so . . . indiscriminate."

"A lot of my past feels the same way to me. I'm not proud of it. But I'm proud of this. Of us. It's a start."

Sarah put her hand to Jordan's face in a slow caress. "You are so beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so."

Sarah laid her head down on Jordan's shoulder. "I've always thought so. From the very first moment we met. I sure never thought we'd ever be like this though. Did you?"

"Not consciously, no." Jordan's arms tightened for a moment and then her hands began to stroke Sarah's back. "You know what surprised me? You're a virgin."

"No, I'm not."

"You've never been with a man."

"True," she conceded.

"I like that. I like it a lot."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I feel like you're somehow cleaner. More pure."

Sarah rolled her eyes privately. "Have you been with a man?"

"Yes."

"What's it like?"

Jordan was silent for nearly a minute. "It usually made me feel superfluous. I'm not talking strictly about the act, but the attitude with which it is done. Even when they tried to focus on giving me pleasure, it was for their own purposes. Men don't just give pleasure. They take it at the same time. The glut of medications on the market for impotency prove that a man won't give pleasure unless there's pleasure in it for him. I didn't like feeling like my ultimate function was to be used like that. Besides which, they smell funny, their skin is too hard, and they can't kiss for shit."

Sarah laughed. "I just can't picture you with a man."

"It wasn't pretty. Have you ever been tempted?"

"Only by you." Jordan's caresses hesitated briefly and then continued. Sarah waited for a verbal response that didn't come. Gathering her courage, she added, "I think about it a lot. What it would feel like with you. To have you inside of me like that."

Jordan smoothly rolled Sarah to her back and looked at her through serious eyes. Her mouth opened, closed, and opened again. "Taking your virginity...I don't know if I could do it."

Sarah spread her legs and shifted Jordan between them. Lifting her hips with a hiss of enjoyment, she whispered, "Even if I begged you to?"

Jordan responded immediately, pushing back into Sarah. She nodded slowly, her breath deepening. "I'll think about it."

Sarah arched her back into the body that hovered over her. Desire swarmed under her skin like bees on a hot summer's day. Pulling her knees up, she wrapped her legs around the slender waist. "Make me come, Jordan."

The powerful woman took her with a growl.

~***~

Sarah raced home from school on Monday, straight into Jordan's arms. "It's a good thing I recorded my lectures," she said after they made love. "All I thought about all day was you. I don't remember anything."

Jordan smiled lazily, her hand tracing random designs on Sarah's belly. "I took a shower. That was about it."

"Is it supposed to be like this? Feeling like I can't ever get enough of you?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"It's hard to say. Months or years at least."

Sarah pulled Jordan's leg into her center with a satisfied groan. "I'm going to flunk out of school. I just know it."

Jordan propped her head on her hand. "No, you won't. I won't let you."

Sarah raised an eyebrow. "You won't let me?"

Grinning, Jordan twiddled an imaginary moustache. "I am the Master, you know. I have ways of making you study."

"Oh, I can't wait to hear this. What's this brilliant plan of yours?"

"If you don't study, I'll spank you."

Stunned, Sarah sat up and pushed Jordan's leg off of her. "You wouldn't dare."

Jordan lay back on the bed and put her hands behind her head. "Relax, baby. I was just kidding."

"It wasn't funny."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I would never spank you as a punishment."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded indignantly.

"Spanking should be a reward. If it's given in response to bad behavior, it's just thinly veiled violence. Most tops would disagree with me, but that's how I feel about it."

Sarah's outrage took a back seat to her curiosity. "How do you handle bad behavior then?"

"Meaningless chores. Writing sentences. Time outs. Worst case scenario, the cold shoulder. Giving any sort of attention to a misbehaving submissive is a slippery slope. I prefer instead to consistently reward good behavior. I can do the 'you've been a very bad girl' routine in a scene of limited duration, but it's not really my style."

Sarah crossed her legs and pulled a corner of the sheet over her lap. "Do you think of me as your submissive?"

"I would hardly call you submissive," Jordan said with a smile. "Deliciously yielding, at times, yes, but not submissive."

Lowering her eyes, she picked at the edge of the sheet. "Do you wish I was more submissive?"

"Not particularly. There are moments with you when I can feel you surrendering control to me. Those moments are doubly precious because of their rarity and they fulfill my needs in that area. As exciting as those moments are to me, I prefer you strong and feisty."

Propping her elbows on her knees, Sarah put her chin in her hands. "I figured you for the type that would want a slave."

Jordan sighed comfortably. "I admit that the idea holds some appeal for me, but I'd much rather have a woman who calls me a dope and a pig. When a woman like that temporarily surrenders even a little bit of her power into my keeping, it's a beautiful thing."

"Is it enough for you?"

"It's more than I had reason to hope for, baby."

Sarah dropped one hand to Jordan's thigh. It was easier to talk when she was touching her. "I read those books. They said that playing wasn't something you could give up. I worry that you're giving up too much for me."

Jordan reached down with one hand to lace fingers with Sarah. "I gave most of it up a long time ago, Sarah. You aren't taking me away from anything. You're giving me my dreams. Please don't worry that you aren't giving me what I need. It's just not true."

Sarah couldn't quite accept that as final. "You wouldn't have the dungeon if you didn't have needs centered around it."

"Are you asking if I want to play with you there?"

"Maybe I am."

"What if I said I did? How would you feel about that?"

"I'm not sure. I guess it would depend on what you wanted to do there."

Jordan sat up and crossed her legs so they were knee to knee. "There's a huge difference between fantasy and reality. You can have fantasies that give you a lot of satisfaction and never want to live them out. Do I have fantasies of you and I in the dungeon? Of course, I do. They're fun to think about, but I don't have to do them to enjoy the fantasy. Maybe, if I'm very lucky, we'll eventually live out a few of those fantasies in private, but I don't require an audience for them. The intensity of what I feel with you would make me feel more vulnerable in front of the players than I think I want to endure. I trust you with my heart, but I don't want to put it on display. However, just because we may not play at one of the parties, doesn't mean that we can't enjoy them together. Do you have any desire at all just to watch one of the parties?"

"You would let me do that?"

Jordan nodded. "I would love to have you with me at a party. There's usually dancing, you know. We'd have to get you set up with some sort of costume, but you might really like it."

"What kind of things can I expect to see?"

"I can pretty much guarantee that someone will be having sex. Maybe even several couples. You can watch or not. Partial and even complete nudity is a given. Odds are good that someone will get spanked before the night is over, but only if the sub requested it earlier. You might even get to see some slaves."

Sarah took a deep breath. "I have a couple of concerns."

"Okay. Let's talk about them."

"Mostly I'm afraid that someone will touch me or ask me to play with them."

Jordan shook her head in denial. "It won't happen. No one will try to touch you without your express verbal consent. As for asking you to play, that won't happen if I keep you close to me. The players will automatically assume that you belong to me for the night. Dungeon etiquette is such that any inquiries about you will have to go through me. It would be an affront for one of them to speak to you without my permission. You would not even have to act particularly submissive for the courtesy to stand. And if you want to join in a conversation, I'll just smile, and they'll think I'm indulging you."

That didn't sound so bad to her. "The other thing is that don't most of them sort of know who I am? What are they going to think if you show up with the cleaning girl?"

Jordan smiled with wry amusement. "It would probably make my reputation for the next year."

"Be serious. What will they think? Will it cause problems for you?"

Jordan shrugged. "I would imagine surprise would be the main thing. They'll be very curious about you. After all, I've been the reclusive, celibate bachelor all the time they've known me. I expect that by dawn the next day, all of the players will be talking about it."

"What will they say?"

"If they know what's good for them, they'll be happy for me. Better yet, they won't say anything at all. Ultimately, I don't care. The only opinion I care about is yours. Are you seriously considering coming to a party?"

Sarah bit her lip uneasily. "Yes."

"Is it to watch me or is there another reason?"

She felt almost sick with nerves. "Maggie said I should tell you everything I think and feel."

"You must know that I want to hear anything you've a mind to say."

"I'm kind of afraid to hear myself say it."

"Come here, baby." Jordan pulled Sarah's legs around her hips and lifted her into her lap. "Talk to me."

Sarah put her arms around Jordan and let the blessed feeling of connection fill her. She could do anything when she felt this. "I want you to do things to me."

Jordan began to rock slowly. "What things?"

"Things from the books," she admitted. "I filled out one of those lists."

"A play list?"

Sarah could almost see the list of dungeon activities in her mind's eye. "Yes."

"All right. Do you want to show it to me?"

Burying her face in Jordan's hair, she nodded. "But I'm afraid."

Jordan's arms tightened. "I know, baby, but you don't need to be. Whatever it is you want me to do, I want you to enjoy it. I'll do everything I can to make it good for you. The last thing I want is for you to be afraid to ask for what you want. I'm glad you told me."

"Jordan?"

"Yes, baby?"

"What do you want to do to me?"

"Hmm. Is bondage on your list?"

Sarah's entire body tightened with need. Sucking air through her teeth, she pressed her groin into Jordan's belly. "Yes," she hissed.

"Ahh," Jordan groaned. Her hands kneaded Sarah's back roughly. "That's what I want. To tie you to the bed and torment you with ecstasy."

Sarah tilted Jordan's head back and kissed her hungrily. She sucked at the generous mouth as her body was lowered to the bed and Jordan covered her. Her hands were forced over her head and Jordan held them there with one hand. Sarah cried out her pleasure as Jordan's other hand slipped between her legs. It was so good. More quickly than she would have thought possible, Sarah slipped into ecstasy.

"You're mine," Jordan growled possessively. "Mine."

Sarah's hands were released, and she moved them to the dark head, holding Jordan close. The feelings inside of her were too brilliant to verbalize. Sarah could only hold onto her lover and let her emotions sing.

~***~

"I've got good news and bad news."

Sarah dropped her pack by the door and started to remove her winter layers. Jordan was sitting on the couch with the play list Sarah had left with her that morning. "What's the bad news?"

Jordan dropped her head back on the sofa. "I want a kiss first."

Sarah leaned over intending to give her a quick kiss, but it wasn't that simple. Her lips lingered until her toes began to tingle. Tangling her fingers in the short hair, Sarah indulged herself. If she was going to hear bad news, she wanted the memory of that kiss to buffer her.

"Welcome home, little one," Jordan murmured with a smile.

Sarah smiled back and pulled her sweater off. "So, what's the bad news?"

"You need to redo your list. Or at least, clarify a few things."

The sweatshirt was next. "Why?"

"For starters, you put down a yes on cunnilingus. If you don't like it, but you're willing to try it at some point, you should have put a maybe."

"Why? I'm not against it. I just don't usually enjoy it."

"Then, you should say that. My concern is that you have things on here that you'll let me do, but not because you necessarily want them. The point of the list is to tell me what you like, what you won't do and what you might do under the right circumstances. If I didn't know you, I would assume that you wanted me to go down on you without discussion first. This list isn't about what I want. It's about what you want."

Sarah kicked off her shoes and brushed her hair back with her fingers. "Okay. This conversation is a little strange for just having walked in the door. I need something to drink. Do you want anything?"

"No, thank you."

Picking up a scrunchy off the kitchen counter, Sarah tied her hair back and opened the fridge. Her belly asked for orange juice, but she grabbed a wine cooler instead. She hadn't been thinking much of anything when she had opened the front door but jumping right into a discussion on playing had thrown her off kilter.

"Sorry about that."

Sarah jumped. Jordan was right behind her. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

Jordan cocked her head thoughtfully. "Did you have a bad day at school?"

"No."

"Do you want me to come back later?"

Sarah moved to the other side of the kitchen and leaned back against the counter. She was half tempted to say yes. "No."

Looking confused, Jordan ran a hand through her hair. "Are you angry with me?"

"Should I be?"

The rugged face shut down. "I don't want to play this game. If you're mad, say so. I can handle you being upset, but don't mock me with it."

Sarah's heart hurt, but she couldn't stop herself. "Maybe you should go. I've got a lot of studying to do."

Jordan nodded. "All right. Call me later if you want to talk."

Sarah consoled herself with her drink while she listened to Jordan dress for the cold and walk out the front door. She wasn't sure what had just happened, and she didn't want to think about it. Retrieving her pack, she sat down at her desk and opened her books.

It took over three hours for her mad to dissipate and then she realized that what she felt was hurt. Another hour passed before she felt ready to talk about it. Clicking on the Messenger icon on the computers Start bar, she saw that Jordan was online. Sarah opened the text box and started to type.

Littleone777: Are you mad at me?

The response came back right away.

Mastercrisp99: I'm confused.

Littleone777: You hurt my feelings.

Mastercrisp99: That wasn't my intention. What did I do?

Sarah brushed a tear from her cheek before explaining.

Littleone777: Admitting all of that stuff to you and to myself was like ripping my heart out and then I walk in the door and you tell me I did it wrong. Making that list was really hard. Giving it to you was even harder. I know that you didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but you did. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I'm doing the best I can. I'm sorry if I'm acting like a baby.

Hitting Send, Sarah waited anxiously for a response.

Mastercrisp99: I'm so sorry, Sarah. You're not being too sensitive and you're not acting like a baby. I'm a jerk. I've seen so many lists over the years and I forgot that you aren't one of my players. I dived into it as the DM and not as your lover. You have every right to be mad at me. What can I do to make it up to you?

Sarah felt a little bit better now.

Littleone777: I'm not mad anymore.

Mastercrisp99: Would it help if I came over and groveled for your forgiveness?

The image made Sarah smile a little.

Littleone777: You don't need to do that. If you come down, you'll kiss me or touch me and make everything all right.

Mastercrisp99: And that would be bad?

Littleone777: No, but I don't think I'm done pouting yet. Maybe tomorrow?

Mastercrisp99: It's a date.

Littleone777: By the way, what was the good news?

Mastercrisp99: We have a high degree of compatibility.

Littleone777: That sounds good.

Mastercrisp99: It is, if I can get my head out of my ass.

Sarah laughed out loud. Even from a distance, Jordan had a knack for making everything all right.

Littleone777: Do you have any special instructions on how to fix the list? I'm done studying and there's nothing to watch on TV so I'm going to go over it.

It was several minutes before Jordan answered her.

Mastercrisp99: I just emailed you my list. Note that all of the things we both said we don't want to do are at the end. If you print it out, you can delete my remarks and write your own, then send it back to me when you're done. I cannot stress enough that my list should not influence yours. The whole point is to be honest about what we want and then compare the lists to see where we're in sync. You can, however, tell me on your list how you felt about mine. The better I understand how you think and feel, the better I can be for you.

Sarah opened her mailbox and found Jordan's list. She chewed absently on a thumbnail as she read the first few lines.

Age play: I do much better playing daddy to an infant than a juvenile. This is not my strong suit in role-playing games, though it can be interesting. I should mention that if you want to do this, I will not include sex in the scene. It gives me the creeps.

Anal play: I love this. There is nothing more intimate or personal. Very intense both to give and receive. I'm very good at this.

Animal play: I never really understood the desire to feel like an animal or to treat someone like one. I can do it, but I don't really get anything out of it. Ditto on the sex restriction from Age Play.

Bisexual play: I'm kind of a unique case, don't you think? I've been with men and don't want to do it again. While I can't tell you what to do with your life or your body, I can't be a part of you being with one.

Mastercrisp99: Sarah?

Blinking at the window, Sarah realized she'd forgotten Jordan was waiting.

Littleone777: Sorry. I was reading your list. I think I understand what you want me to do.

Mastercrisp99: Good. I'm going to work for a while. If you have any questions or just want to talk, I'll be here.

Littleone777: Thanks.

Minimizing the Messenger window, Sarah went back to reading.

Body modification: For the most part, this is a big NO. Exceptions: tattoos can be sexy, though I would not ask you to get one. If you do it on your own, don't do my name. It would upset me. Also, you should know that I am licensed by the State as a piercer. I do all the players. If it's something that interests you, I'll negotiate what I'm willing to pierce. For myself? Big needle phobia. No tats or holes in this body.

Sarah opened the window to Jordan.

Littleone777: Will you pierce my ears? I've always wanted to do it. First, I couldn't afford it and lately I haven't gotten around to it.

Mastercrisp99: Sure.

Littleone777: When?

Mastercrisp99: Tomorrow after school?

Littleone777: Cool.

Body worship: I'm all over this one.

Bondage: Probably my very favorite thing in the whole world of BDSM. I've studied it extensively and enjoy both movement restriction and purely decorative bondage. I'm willing to discuss this with you at length.

Clips and Clamps: I enjoy using these. I am even willing to let you use them on me within reason. I find they generally enhance the sensual experience.

Corsets: Basically, a form of breath control which I do not normally endorse. Overuse is something I find very unattractive, but I think I'd enjoy seeing you in one from time to time for purely visual reasons.

Cross dressing: I will not wear a dress. This is not negotiable. You'd look cute as a boy though. We could do the gay bars. Might be fun.

Sarah had to smile at the thought of Jordan in a dress. A stranger image was hard to come up with and she didn't think she'd be believable as a boy.

Daddy/Daddy's girl: this one goes hand in hand with Mommy/Mommy's girl. It's a sexual game and I'm not fond of it. Minus the sexual connotations, it's doable.

Discipline: This is a large category. I like spanking-either with my hand or with a tool. It makes me very excited to spank a woman who enjoys it. I'm cheating here because I read your list earlier. You put a maybe by it. The possibility that you might let me do it is a turn on for me. On the other hand, I worry that you'll hate it and hate me for doing it. I'd like to suggest tabling this for a while. The other part of discipline relates to Slave Training. I'll write more later.

Exhibitionism: When I was younger, I enjoyed this. There is a special fear to baring your body in front of others that is exquisitely arousing. In order to protect my cover, I've not savored this for years. When I think about playing in the dungeon, this is the part I miss the most. As for you, if it's something you someday want to do, I'd very much enjoy being there. I would love the opportunity to display you.

Sarah took a deep breath. It wasn't something she thought she could do in real life, but she did fantasize about it. She could picture Jordan in her tuxedo and herself-very naked-on Jordan's arm. Maybe wearing high heels and some modest jewelry, but nothing else. Sarah thought she might understand the 'special fear' that Jordan mentioned. Just thinking about that fantasy brought it on. The fact that Jordan could very easily arrange to have that fantasy come true only made the feeling stronger.

Fantasies: I'm totally flexible in this area. Tell me what you want, and I'll do it.

Fisting: I understand why this was on your NO list, but it's something I've always wanted to experience. Your hands are quite small, and I think, with some practice, I could take one inside of me. I was uncertain if your NO was just for you or if it was for me, too. I'd like to talk about it sometime.

Making a fist, Sarah imagined what it would be like. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Jordan in the process, but if it could be done, she was willing.

Furniture training: I already have furniture and it didn't need any training.

Sarah laughed. She'd put a maybe beside it only because it didn't sound all that dangerous. Knowing how Jordan felt about it made it possible to admit that it hadn't interested her at all.

Group scenes: In front of a group? Possibly. With a group? Not if it means I have to suffer anyone else touching you. (I probably should have mentioned that I don't want to share you with anyone. I'm feeling very possessive about you.)

Hot wax: It can be fun if you don't mind cleaning up afterwards. The same goes for food and sex.

Leather: As you've probably noticed, I love leather. I like the way it smells and feels and looks. I'm curious as to how you feel about it. Would love to get you some leather clothes. Maybe one of those short skirts and a leather jacket. Grrr.

Lingerie: Do boxers count if they're made of silk or satin? I do love a woman in lingerie though. Another thing I'd like to fill your closet with.

Masturbation: Yum! I'd love to watch you and would love to watch you watching me.

Pain: This is another category I suggest we table for a while. There are so many fun things we can do. If we play with clips and clamps and you enjoy it, we'll revisit this subject.

Safe words: I know you've read about these. You need to choose one. It can be used at any time and I will stop whatever we are doing. Don't ever be afraid to stop me. In the dungeon, the safe word is RED. My personal safe word is PHOENIX.

Shaving: Fun, fun, fun. Shave or be shaved, that is the question. I've got a straight razor and I know how to use it. I'd love to prove it.

Slave training: We talked about this the other day, but I've been holding back some. While I do not desire a 24/7 slave at this point in my life, I would be interested in giving you some training. (Do I need to remind you that even this is negotiable?) For me, slave training is about control. I would occasionally like to feel that I have the right to control you. I'd like to be able to give you an order and have you carry it out. I'd like to have you kneel at my feet now and then. I'd like to have you in the dungeon as my slave for the night. The fact that you are so strong, and brave would make your willing submission almost unbearably exciting. More so because I am so completely unable to do it myself. I cannot bend my knee to anyone. I've never been able to do it. I can open my heart to you without reservation, but don't ask me to kneel. Maybe that's why I find submission so erotic. As for discipline in training, it is necessary. I'm not one for punishment with the strap, but during a training session, discipline is crucial to making the 'slave' understand what the Master wants and expects. It's about getting the slave's mind into the proper space. I cannot tell you what the slave gets out of it. I've read the books, too, but it's not something I understand in my gut. If it's something you want to do with me, you'll either experience it or you won't. If not, then it's not for us. As I believe I mentioned before, there are moments when I can feel your surrender of control to me, and those moments are all I require from you in this area. If we explore this further, it will be to satisfy a need within you.

Toys: I've got just about every toy devised. If you want to play with one, let me know. I would occasionally be willing to be on the receiving end as well. Remember that it's not about the toy. It's about making each other feel good.

Other: As you have no doubt noticed, my list is considerably shorter than yours was. There are about 50 subcategories for bondage alone. It's not strictly necessary for you to answer every single one. We are not strangers negotiating a scene in the dungeon. We're lovers. If I tie you up, be assured that you'll have a say in every step of it. I eliminated a lot of the pain categories. I'm very uneasy about initiating pain into our love life at this point. We'll talk about it when and if you ever feel like you need it. Feel free to add anything I've left out that you want to talk about. Keep in mind that as time goes by, we may add or subtract things on our lists. Nothing is carved in stone. We're just establishing a starting point. Talking about all of this doesn't commit you to anything, even if it's something you want to do.

Sarah had only glanced at the NO list tagged onto the end. Now, she printed a copy and re-read the whole thing. Not knowing what Jordan felt about these things had been a difficulty she was only now aware of. Rather than feeling that she was going to be influenced by Jordan's list, she felt freed by it.

Littleone777: Thank you for your list. It's helped me a lot. I think I needed to know your answers before I could be honest about my own.

Mastercrisp99: Glad to be of help. About earlier. I was terribly insensitive. I'm really sorry about that. Can you forgive me?

Smiling, Sarah replied.

Littleone777: Of course. I think I'm over my pout. I'm sorry it took so long for me to figure out what I was feeling. Can you forgive me?

Mastercrisp99: Done.

Littleone777: Is this the part where we kiss and make up?

Mastercrisp99: I would very much like it to be.

Happy again, Sarah typed in a response and sent it.

Littleone777: I'll be naked by the time you get here. Don't knock.

Mastercrisp99: I wasn't going to.

Laughing, Sarah turned off her computer and raced for the bedroom.

~***~

"Do they sting at all?"

"No. They just feel warm." Sarah could feel the weight of the studs in her ears. It wasn't much, but she was very conscious of them. The first one had made her jump because of the sound of the gun going off, but it hadn't really hurt at all.

"If they start to sting, tell me right away. These are hypo-allergenic, but stinging could mean an infection. Once they're healed, you can try other metals. Some people are allergic to gold or silver. If you are, they'll start to sting right away."

A strange feeling was growing in Sarah. "I feel like I've been . . . tagged as yours."

Jordan took off her latex gloves with a snap and a smile. "I feel a little like that, too."

"I like it," she admitted.

"So do I."

"How much do I owe you for the studs?"

"A kiss ought to cover it."

Sarah made it worth Jordan's investment and then went to a mirror to see the results. Sure enough, she had earrings. Turning her head this way and that, she studied them. "I have to leave them in for a month?"

"About that. I'll keep an eye on them and let you know when you can start changing them."

Sarah turned and smiled at Jordan. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

"I want to show Maggie. I'll be right back."

As their cottages were so close together, Sarah didn't bother to dress for the weather. Running lightly through the snow, she knocked on Maggie's door. It was opened in moments. "Look what Jordan did," she said as she stepped inside the warm house.

Maggie peered closely. "How pretty. You have nice ears for earrings."

Sarah fingered her lobes gingerly. "I always wanted to get my ears pierced. It's cool that Jordan can do it. Getting it done at the mall always seemed kind of weird."

"Do you have earrings?"

"Only these."

Maggie smiled. "Then I've got a pair for you to start your collection."

"You don't have to do that."

"Heavens, dear, I know that. Don't be silly."

Maggie fetched a jewelry box from her bedroom, and they sat on the couch to go through it. The contents were not organized at all, but Sarah was surprised at how much there was. "Wow. You've got some really nice stuff, Maggie." She lifted a strand free of the tangle. "Are these real pearls?"

"Cultured ones, yes. They were grown. Now, this one is the real thing."

She lifted a strand free and laid it over her hand. It was beautiful.

"This was my grandmother's," Maggie explained. "It was given to her on her 16th birthday by her parents. She gave it to my mother on her wedding day and it came to me after she died. Someday, it will be yours."

"No," Sarah breathed. "You can't give that away."

"Not just yet, dear, but it's a family heirloom. It's meant to be passed along. Someday you'll pass it on, too."

Sarah thought she might cry. "I'd rather have you than a necklace."

Maggie put a hand to Sarah's cheek. "Aren't you sweet."

"Don't die, okay?"

Maggie made a rude noise. "Everyone does it, dear, but I'm good for another ten or fifteen years. There's plenty of time to worry about that later." Putting the necklace back in the box, she searched through the precious metals and gems.

Sarah forced herself to let go of her fear for Maggie's eventual demise. There wasn't a lot she could do about it right now.

"I love these."

The tear drop opals were exquisite. The more Sarah looked at them, the more alive they seemed inside. "These are gorgeous."

"I got them a few years ago on a trip to Australia. They cost an arm and a leg, but I just couldn't leave without them."

Between Maggie's memories and appreciating the beautiful jewelry, Sarah lost track of time. Two hours passed in a blink of the eye. With her new antique diamond earrings in her hand, Sarah pressed Maggie to come over for dinner. It was the least she could do for the gift of jewelry and Maggie had been left out a lot lately. Inviting her for dinner made Sarah feel better.

The radio was on and Jordan was sound asleep on the sofa.

"Isn't he cute?" Maggie crooned.

Sarah thought so, too, but said nothing.

"Looks like you've worn him out."

"Maggie," she hissed in embarrassment.

The old woman chuckled knowingly. "I think it's wonderful, dear. Can I help you cook?"

Sarah decided on stir-fry. She had a lot of individual ingredients, but not enough to serve three people separately. Maggie sat at the counter to chop vegetables while Sarah started the chicken and rice. An old Stevie Wonder song came on and Sarah started to dance. Only a little, but she felt too much happiness to hold it in and the dancing helped. Maggie was smiling at her and Jordan was sleeping in the living room. It just didn't get any better.

The dancing was addictive. Sarah incorporated it into her cooking, feeling sexy and free and playful. Her inhibitions evaporated and she gyrated to the beat. Maggie's head began to bob, and Sarah laughed. Maggie liked Prince!

Putting the rice on simmer, Sarah reached for Maggie's hand. "Dance with me?"

Maggie set the knife aside with a grin. "I'd love to."

Prince segued into Def Leppard and Sarah turned it on, her hips and shoulders getting into it with abandon. And then, Jordan was there with her, their bodies flirting and enticing. Jordan could move! They danced all the time, but not like this. Ballroom dancing was terribly erotic in its fluid precision, but this was raw passion, and it drank Sarah in. The fact that Maggie was watching only fueled Sarah's wantonness. She wanted to be seen with Jordan like this. Having a witness made it real.

The song ended as Jordan kissed her and Sarah melted under the eager lips. Now she was embarrassed. Sarah pulled back with a shy smile. "I need to check the rice."

Jordan let her go with a smile and turned to Maggie. "I saw you making the moves on my girl."

"You snooze, you lose," Maggie shrugged.

Jordan threw her head back with a laugh and reached for Maggie. "Let's dance, old woman."

Sarah watched them happily. They were doing some old fifties dance step to Eric Clapton and Jordan oozed gentleness in the way she handled the fragile woman. There was love in the room and Sarah ached with it. Was this what family was supposed to mean? How did people take this for granted? It was marvelous!

Part Four

Pete and Amanda's wedding was lovely. Amanda's dress was fantastic, and it took two young boys to handle her train. They did a beautiful little candle lighting ceremony that brought tears to Sarah's eyes, but she had to smile when they ended the ceremony by jumping over a broom. She knew it was a historical reference to the marriage ceremony for slaves, but it felt like the newlyweds were honoring the sacrifices of their ancestors with the ritual.

During the professional photo shoot after the ceremony, Sarah wandered the edge of the room and took pictures with her digital camera. She got several of Jordan, but mostly she concentrated on the candid shots the photographer was missing in his quest for posed perfection. Sarah had no idea who most of the people were, so she just watched for moments of connection. The flower girl and the ring bearer were adorable in their wedding clothes and she got several of them. She even caught the fathers of the bride and groom sharing a hip flask and a guilty look.

People looked at her now and then, but by and large, her presence was negligible. Sarah preferred it that way. It made taking pictures easier and meant she didn't have to worry about what to say. Soon enough, it was over. Jordan joined her at once.

"What did you think of the wedding?"

"It was wonderful."

"Are you ready to party?"

Sarah slipped her hand through the offered elbow. "Lead on."

It was a ten-minute drive to the hotel that was hosting the reception. Jordan parked the Jaguar and reached out for Sarah's hand. "Wait."

Curious, Sarah sat silently.

Jordan swallowed in uncharacteristic nervousness. "I've been trying to do this all day and I'm afraid if I don't just do it, it'll get away from me."

"Do what?"

Taking a deep breath, Jordan fished a small, wrapped gift from under the car seat. "I love you and I want you to have this. I mean, it's Valentine's Day."

Sarah put a hand over her mouth. "Oh, God. I didn't think. It never occurred to me . . . I didn't get you anything."

Jordan's eyes relaxed and she smiled. "You give me everything, little one. I've never been so happy. I don't need a gift."

"Neither do I," she argued. "I'm sorry, Jordan. I just didn't put it together in my head. I haven't had to think about Valentine's Day since I was in grade school."

"Sarah," Jordan said firmly. "All I want is to give you this and hopefully see that you like it. Give me your pleasure in the gift and I'll be happy. If you like it a lot, maybe you'll give me a kiss, too. Please?"

She felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. It wasn't fair to turn down the gift just because she had forgotten.

"I love you, Sarah. Please accept this gift as a small token of my feelings for you."

Damn! Now she couldn't refuse without hurting Jordan. Sarah opened the gift to find a slender gold bracelet. It was utterly unremarkable, but it spoke volumes to her. Jordan could have spent a ton of money on diamonds and jewels, but she hadn't. It meant that she knew how uncomfortable Sarah would have been with it and that how she felt mattered to Jordan. It was thoughtful and sweet and charming in its simplicity and Sarah thought it was perfect. She lifted it up on gentle fingers to catch the light. "It's perfect, Jordan. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

It was clear to see that Jordan was pleased. Sarah leaned over to kiss her. "Will you put it on me?"

"My pleasure."

Sarah watched the concentration on Jordan's face with a feeling of tenderness. She still felt foolish for letting Valentine's Day slip by her, but at least Jordan hadn't made it intolerable. She really was quite gallant. "You constantly surprise me," she said softly.

"Is that a good thing?"

"So far," Sarah conceded with a grin.

Jordan finished securing the bracelet and lifted Sarah's hand to her lips. "Shall we go in?"

The reception hall was set up for dining with long tables, silver and crystal. It was perfection. Sarah left her gift beside the small mountain of presents for the happy couple. It had been hard to figure out what to get them, but she had settled on a bamboo wind chime that sounded like rain to her. Now, looking at the hall, she wondered if she should have gone with something more elegant. "Jordan? What did you give them?"

"I paid for the wedding. Why?"

"I got them a wind chime. A wood one. What if they hate it?"

"They won't hate it, little one. Trust me. Don't start feeling insecure. Your gift shows creativity and thought. How much imagination does it take to pick out a blender? One of us should stay sober for driving home later. Do you want to flip for it?"

"You go ahead," Sarah said. "I'll stick to soda or something."

The bride and groom arrived by limousine a short time later and the party began. An army of waiters served dinner with quiet precision and the room was filled with talking and laughter. A great many toasts were given, including one by Jordan. Sarah made her single glass of champagne last through them all.

After the meal, the tables were cleared away and the floor was opened for dancing. Sarah watched the newlyweds take the first dance. They were so happy and everyone watching them was obviously happy for them. Not that it appeared either of them knew how to dance. At least, not ballroom dancing.

Jordan leaned down to talk to her. "I'm going to have to dance with a few people. It's part of standing up with him at the wedding. Will you be all right until I'm done?"

"Of course. I'll go hang out with Maggie and her friend."

"I love you, baby."

Sarah smiled. "I love watching you dance."

"You're so beautiful."

Sarah realized that Jordan was a little intoxicated. Not enough to be noticeable yet, but definitely tipsy. "You're drunk."

"Not quite, but I'm getting there. You're still beautiful."

"So are you. Go do your thing."

Sarah spent the next hour circulating with Maggie and Hazel. They didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that they didn't know very many people. Sarah was drawn into a number of conversations and learned that strangers weren't so hard to get along with. You just had to suck it up and introduce yourself. She met aunts and uncles, cousins and in-laws, grandparents and friends. Everyone was very nice.

Every time she looked; Jordan was dancing with another woman. She looked to be having a good time and it made Sarah start to feel jealous. It was an uncomfortable emotion and Sarah kept trying to banish it. When another of Pete's men asked her to dance, Sarah impulsively said yes.

"My name's Trip."

Being in his arms was nothing like being in Jordan's arms. It was more than the fact that he didn't dance right. It just felt wrong. "Trip?"

"It's in the way of a nickname. What's your name?"

"Sarah."

"You're with Jordan?"

She didn't want to confide in this man. "I work for him."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a maid."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Sarah was stunned. "Are you hitting on me?"

Trip smiled and one gold tooth winked at her. "Well, now, that all depends."

"On what?"

"Do you want me to hit on you?"

"Not in particular."

"Because I'm black?"

Sarah took a chance. "Are you dancing with me because I'm white?"

"Yes."

It was ludicrous. Sarah shook her head in disbelief. "You're kind of a jerk, Trip."

He only laughed and then leaned a little closer. "You know, it's true what they say about black men."

She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant and felt him rub against her hip. It was the most disgusting thing ever and made her furious. Sarah deliberately laughed at him. "Is that all you've got?"

"You'll feel me, girl."

Sarah took a half step back. "Feel this." She brought her knee up sharply and connected squarely with his groin. Trip staggered back and curled around his wounded genitals with a high-pitched whine. Sarah's moment of righteous wrath faded as she realized what she had done. She couldn't go around kneeing rude guys in the balls at other people's weddings. Sarah looked around to find the other dancers smiling at her.

"You go, girl," one of them laughed.

Embarrassed, Sarah slapped the woman's upraised hand and turned to leave the dance floor. She ran right into Jordan's broad chest. Strong hands grasped her upper arms and kept her from falling.

"What happened? Are you all right?"

Jordan's face and voice were as hard as Sarah had ever seen them. Sarah knew instantly that if she didn't intervene, Jordan would do something stupid and unnecessary. She only knew one way to distract Jordan. Sarah slid her hands over her lover's hidden breasts and stretched up on her toes to whisper, "I'm not wearing anything under my dress."

Jordan blinked and dragged her eyes from the rejected suitor to Sarah. "What?"

She almost had her. "I'm naked." A hand slid over Sarah's hip slowly and Jordan began to smile seductively. Sarah relaxed.

"I guess I'll kill Trip later. After you tell me what he did."

"Dance with me, Ace."

Jordan moved into Sarah's body with supreme confidence and authority. Sarah surrendered without hesitation and saw the glow of pride in her lover's eyes. It made her feel warm and happy to know that she had given that feeling to Jordan. A firm thigh insinuated itself into Sarah's sex and she shivered with pleasure. She could feel what Jordan was packing in her boxers and it was nothing like what she had felt with Trip. "I feel you," she said with soft desire.

"I'm so hard," Jordan breathed in her ear. "You make me crazy with wanting."

Sarah was feeling a little crazy and reckless herself. Their bodies moved in perfect harmony and she was completely aware of how close to naked she really was. It had not been a deliberate thing. A bra was out of the question because of the strapless shoulder and all of her underwear had left panty lines. Going without had just made sense at the time. The fact that she was enjoying how she felt made her wonder what had happened to the girl nervous about showing her belly button at the Halloween party. She had changed somewhere along the line.

For a moment, it made her uncomfortable, but Sarah realized that she liked the woman she was becoming. Just the fact that she was starting to think of herself as a woman and not a girl was a new development.

Jordan abruptly started laughing.

"What?" Sarah looked around, but nothing was happening. "What is it?"

"Just trying to reconcile the yielding woman in my arms with the Amazon who nutted Pete's little brother at a wedding reception."

Sarah put images of Pete and Trip side by side. "That was his brother? They don't look anything alike. Do they have the same parents?"

Jordan only laughed harder. "Air," she gasped. "I need air."

Sarah had to quick step to keep up. It was cold outside. The sky was clear and there was no wind, but there was a bitter chill that cut through her filmy dress. It hardened her nipples instantly. Sarah hugged herself as her teeth began to chatter.

"You totally nailed him," Jordan wheezed. "Adam and Eve felt that one."

"He deserved it." Jordan took off her jacket and wrapped it around Sarah. Her body heat was still in it and Sarah snuggled it gratefully. "Thanks."

Jordan's laughter was easing up. "What did he do?"

"He made a pass at me. It was no big deal."

"I think I'm over wanting to kill him," Jordan grinned. "What was it exactly that he did?"

"I handled it," Sarah insisted.

"You're not going to tell me?"

Sarah shook her head.

Jordan looked very surprised. "Why not?"

"Because it was gross and I don't want to talk about it."

"You can tell me anything, little one."

"Do I have to?"

Jordan took a sobering step back. "You make an excellent point." Her humor returned like a light coming on. "I wish I had it on film. It was a thing of beauty."

"I hope I didn't hurt him too bad."

"I hope they ache for days."

"Have you had enough air? It's freezing out here."

"Sure. Come on."

The warmth of the hall was a welcome relief. They didn't get ten steps before Maggie caught them.

"Is everything all right, dear?"

"Jordan just needed some air."

Maggie took her arm conspiratorially. "Everyone is talking about you. Something about Pete's brother?"

Sarah flushed with embarrassment. "I can't believe I did that."

"The consensus is that it was high time. You're something of a heroine. What happened?"

"She nutted the bastard," Jordan bragged.

Maggie's eyes widened. "Did you really?"

Sarah covered her eyes with a sigh. "I'm never going to live this down. I'm going to be remembered forever as the girl who crippled Pete's brother. I'll never get invited to another wedding."

"Maybe not Trip's," Jordan said dryly.

Maggie slapped at Jordan's arm. "Go get us a drink. I'll handle this."

Jordan wandered off without her coat and Sarah hugged it in her absence. "He thinks it's funny. For a minute there, I thought he was going to kill Trip. I've never seen him so angry."

"You don't strike me as the sort of girl who fights back for no reason. What did Trip do?"

Sarah glanced around to make sure they wouldn't be overheard. "He was rubbing his crotch on me. It was gross."

Maggie grimaced.

"Do women usually respond to that?"

"From the right man in the right time and place. Not from a total stranger at a wedding reception. You did the right thing, dear. I'm proud of you."

Sarah wanted to believe her. "I didn't tell Jordan. He was so mad, Maggie. I really thought he would try to kill him. Thank God he's a little drunk or I might not have been able to distract him."

"He probably wouldn't have actually killed him, dear, but this is not the time or the place for fisticuffs. It would have ruined the reception for Pete and Amanda. It sounds to me like you handled everything just right."

"You won't tell Jordan, will you?"

"Of course not, dear. This is just between us girls. What you need to do now is hold your head high and be proud. Don't apologize to anyone for it. If anyone asks you about it, tell them you were adjusting Trip's hormone level."

Sarah burst out laughing.

"That's better. Now, go find your man and do some more dancing. The night is young."

As it got later, the older crowd left, and the music got faster. Jordan got a little drunker, but she was jovial rather than belligerent. Sarah thought it was kind of funny to watch her. She got a chance to talk to Pete and she treated his apology for his brother as if it were unnecessary. Amanda congratulated her on her aim and asked if she'd like to have lunch after the honeymoon. Sarah readily accepted.

There was one tense moment for Sarah. She and Jordan were in the buffet line when Trip walked by them. Jordan casually reached out and put a hand on his neck. Pulling him close, Jordan whispered in his ear and then looked him in the eye with a deadly smile. Sarah saw him swallow hard, then turn and walk away.

"What did you say to him?" she asked.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "What did he do to you?"

"Umm..."

"It's okay, Sarah. It's over as far as I'm concerned. There's nothing to worry about."

She was dying to know what was said, but she could tell she wasn't going to get any more information from Jordan. Sarah shrugged and let it go.

After the newlyweds left in their limousine, the party got a little wild. At least, Sarah's little piece of it did. Jordan had that smoky, amorous look in her eye. Since Sarah didn't know anyone else at the party, she judged it safe and danced teasingly for Jordan. It was hot and sexy and the most fun she'd ever had. They were all but making love on the floor in front of God and everybody. Jordan looked ready to explode.

Sarah finally decided it was time to go. Teasing wasn't enough anymore. She collected their things and took Jordan's keys. Jordan sang all the way to the car. She didn't know all the words to 'Wanna Kiss You All Over', but Sarah gave her points for volume and flair.

Driving the Jaguar was sweet. Even on the icy streets, it ran like warm butter. They were halfway home when Jordan reached under Sarah's dress.

"You're so wet. Wanna fuck you so bad."

Sarah grabbed at Jordan's wrist with a laugh. "Easy, Ace. Keep that up and I'll drive us into a tree."

Jordan abruptly looked like she was going to cry. "Almost lost you. Felt like I was dying, too."

Sarah lifted Jordan's hand to her lips, her own scent rich on the long fingers. "Everything is okay, Jordan. I'm just fine."

"You're perfect," Jordan said dreamily. She hiccupped. "Better pull over, baby."

"We're almost home."

"Sick."

Sarah aimed the car at the side of the road, but it was too late. Jordan threw up all over everything. The windshield, the dash, the stick shift and both of them. It was all Sarah could do not to vomit herself. Pulling to a stop, she jumped out of the car.

"Ugh." It was all down one leg and she grabbed handfuls of snow to get it off. "I can't believe you threw up on me. Couldn't you have waited until I pulled over?"

Jordan fell out of the other side of the car and Sarah walked around to look down at her. Propped up on her elbows, Jordan was vomiting helplessly. It sounded like she was going to die. Sarah put her hands on her hips. "I so hope you remember this in the morning."

Leaving her there, Sarah fished the keys out of the car and opened the trunk. "Thank you, Cirenio." There were rags, a blanket, a flashlight, road flares, some basic tools and a bottle of water tucked in one corner. Promising to hug Cirenio later, she grabbed the rags and the water and set about cleaning the inside of the car enough to drive.

"Sarah?"

She didn't even look up. "Don't pass out. I'm not going to be able to get you back in the car by myself."

"I'm sick."

"Duh."

"Cold."

Sarah had to admit that the car was as good as she could get it for the moment. There was nothing she could do about the sour stench. Tossing the rags on the passenger side floorboards, Sarah went around to help Jordan. It was like trying to pick up mercury.

It was a relief when the cop pulled up behind them with his lights flashing. Sarah tucked her frozen fingers up under her arm pits while he got out of the car and played his flashlight over the two of them. "You don't know how glad I am to see you," she said as he approached.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I didn't know what I was getting into when I agreed to be the designated driver. He's drunk and he threw up inside the car. I've got it cleaned up enough to drive, but I can't get him back in." The flashlight hit her square in the eyes.

"Have you been drinking, ma'am?"

"No," she said patiently. "We were at a wedding reception. I had a single glass of champagne between six and six-thirty, but no alcohol since then. I'd be happy to take a breathalyzer test, but I'd like to get him out of the snow first. Will you help me?"

He seemed to be happy with that answer and had Jordan in the car in only minutes. Jordan's head lolled in a drunken stupor. She was clearly out for the night.

Now that things were back under control, Sarah was freezing. Her teeth chattered uncontrollably.

"Do you have someone to help you get him inside, ma'am?"

She thought of Maggie, but that wouldn't do. Sarah thought it over. On any other day, she would call Pete and ask for help. "The garage is heated, and it has a bathroom. Maybe I can leave him in there."

"How far are you going?"

"Maybe ten minutes? To the Crisp Estate."

"I thought he looked familiar," the officer grinned. "I'll follow you and give you a hand."

"Thank you."

Fifteen minutes later, the officer dropped the blanket wrapped woman on the bed in one of the suites. "I can't thank you enough," Sarah said gratefully. "I couldn't have handled it on my own."

"Not a problem, ma'am. You have a good night."

Sarah walked him to the front door and locked it behind him. Peeling off the ruined high heels, she padded barefoot back to the bedroom. Jordan was snoring. "You owe me big for this," Sarah told the comatose woman.

It wasn't easy, but she got Jordan stripped and cleaned up, then rolled her between the sheets. Gathering up the soiled clothing, she tossed it all in the tub and threw her dress on top of it. Too late, she realized that neither of them had clothes. No way was she going to put that dress back on. Wrapping herself in a lush towel, she went down to Jordan's room and took a shower. After drying her hair, she pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of Jordan's boxers. They were both too big, but they would do. For Jordan, she took a pair of striped pajamas and headed back upstairs.

Jordan was huddled over the toilet with the dry heaves. Wetting a washcloth, she pressed it to the back of the kneeling woman's neck. "How are you doing, Ace?"

Jordan put her head down on her arm with a groan. "Feel terrible."

"If I find you some aspirin, do you think you can keep it down?"

Eyes closed, Jordan shook her head. "Just leave me here."

"You'll freeze to death on this tile."

"Don't care."

"Well, I do. Stay put. I'll be right back."

Maggie kept aspirin in the kitchen. Sarah took three of them and went back. Jordan was still hunched miserably over the toilet. Sarah got the aspirin and a half glass of water into her and then helped her with the pajama's.

"Never drinking again," Jordan said as she fell back into bed.

"That’s got my vote," Sarah agreed. "Go to sleep, Jordan. You can figure out how to make this up to me in the morning."

"Stay."

"I will. I'm just going to straighten up a bit. Go to sleep." She leaned over to kiss Jordan's forehead. A feeling of such tenderness welled up in her. "You mean so much to me," she whispered.

Jordan was out. Sarah brushed the dark hair back and reconsidered cleaning up. There was nothing she could do for the car at this hour of the night and the rest of it could be handled in the morning. Turning off lights, Sarah crawled in beside Jordan and went to sleep.

Sarah wandered into the kitchen shortly after dawn. "Morning."

Maggie set the paper down and took off her glasses. "Hello."

Pouring herself a cup of fresh coffee, Sarah dropped into a chair and held the steaming liquid under her nose. "You make the best coffee in the whole world."

"Thank you, dear. You're up early. What time did the two of you get home last night?"

"I don't know. It was a mess, Maggie. Jordan threw up in the Jag. All over me and the car and everything. Then this cop had to help me get her back in the car and into the house. I totally lost track of time." Sarah yawned so hard it brought tears to her eyes. "I wish I didn't have to go to school today."

"So don't. Go back to bed. I'll bring you a hearty breakfast in a couple of hours and you can take the day off."

"I can't."

"Why not? Can't one of your little friends take notes?"

Sarah considered it. She had two classes that day. One of them she could afford to miss and the other had one of the girls from her study group in it. So far as she knew, there were no exams or tests scheduled. She could get caught up without any trouble. "Maybe I will stay home. I can study later and read ahead."

"Good for you."

"Um, I don't have any clothes. My dress is ruined."

"I'll fetch something for you."

Sarah had another thought. "What time do the housekeepers start?"

"Nine."

"We're in the green suite. Are they going to be working there today?"

"I'll see that they don't."

"Thanks, Maggie."

"Go back to bed, dear."

Sarah went back downstairs and got a complete outfit for Jordan to wear when she woke up. It wouldn't do to have her wandering around as a woman with the staff in the house. Leaving the clothes on a chair, she crawled back into bed and snuggled up to Jordan. In spite of the coffee, she fell asleep almost instantly.

"Where the hell am I?"

Sarah stretched as Jordan's rough question woke her. "The green suite. I couldn't get you downstairs. How do you feel?"

"Like shit. My mouth tastes like road apples and my head hurts."

Sarah smiled. "Let that be a lesson to you."

Jordan grunted and slowly rolled out of bed. Sagging over her knees, she cradled her head in her hands. "This sucks."

Pulling the blankets up tight around her ears to keep the warmth in, Sarah yawned. "Come back to bed and sleep through it." Jordan cautiously got to her feet and staggered into the bathroom to pee. Sarah watched her, amazed at how unselfconscious Jordan was about it. Maybe it was the hangover.

"Looks like somebody had a party in here," Jordan grumbled. "Why are our clothes in the tub?"

"You threw up on them."

"Oh. I don't remember that." Jordan washed her hands and dug around in the drawers until she found a toothbrush. She struggled with the wrapper for a few minutes and then brought it to Sarah. "Open this for me."

Hiding a grin, she obeyed and handed it back. "There you go."

"Thanks." Jordan scrubbed her mouth thoroughly and drank water out of the palm of her hand before washing her face. She came back to bed and pulled Sarah close.

"Better?"

"Not much," Jordan sighed. "Did I do anything stupid?"

"Besides throwing up in the Jag and having to be carried into the house by a cop?"

Jordan groaned. "Besides that."

"No."

"Good."

"Next time, you get to be the designated driver. I quit."

"Sounds fair."

Sarah wrapped herself around Jordan and savored the heat. "I just can't seem to stay warm. It's like my bones are frozen."

Jordan rubbed Sarah's back with her hands. "No school today?"

"Too tired."

"Thanks for taking care of me, baby."

"You're welcome, Ace."

~***~

With Pete gone, Jordan had to fill in for him. Sarah hadn't realized how much Pete actually did. Pete never looked all that busy, but Jordan was swamped. A week into Pete's honeymoon, Jordan called Sarah on the phone.

"Do you know anything about spreadsheets and account balances?"

"Somewhat."

"I need you."

Laughing at Jordan's predicament and worried that she would make herself look foolish, Sarah went up to the house. Pete's office was a mess and Jordan looked to be at the end of her rope. "What's the problem?"

"I was just inputting some of the bills and now it says I'm in the red by something like fifty thousand dollars. I've checked everything about ten times, and I can't see where I went wrong. I'm about to chuck the damn thing out the window."

Sarah sat down in Pete's chair and studied the computer monitor. "Have you saved anything since you started?"

"No."

"Who was the last person to open this file?"

"Pete."

Sarah reopened the file without saving Jordan's changes and the balances looked much better.

"Shit."

Grinning, Sarah looked up at her boss. "Why don't you show me what you want done and I'll see what I can do."

Jordan gathered some papers together and handed them to her. "These need to get paid, and payroll is due."

"Have you written the checks out?"

"Not yet. I think some of them get deposited electronically. Doesn't this program do that?"

"I don't think so. Why don't you go relax and give me a chance to see if I can figure Pete's system out."

"Good luck," Jordan snorted derisively.

It took about an hour to get the hang of it. The hardest part was finding Pete's notes on passwords and account numbers. Thirty minutes later, she was done. The bills were paid, and the payroll printed out. There were a few checks to sign for bills, but it hadn't been hard at all. Sarah was shocked at how much it cost to maintain the estate. The power bills alone were staggering. Not to mention that Jordan paid her people very well.

Sarah went looking for Jordan and found her in her office. "Here are the payroll checks to sign and if you'll sign these, I'll get them ready to mail."

"You did it?"

"Don't look so shocked. This is what I go to school for."

Jordan came around the desk and hugged Sarah hard. "Thank you."

Sarah hugged her back. "Actually, it was kind of fun to find out that I could do it. If you need any more help, just let me know."

"You're a lifesaver."

Jordan signed the checks and Sarah put them all in their envelopes. Leaving the payroll checks on the corner of the desk, Sarah straightened up a little and turned off the lights. She stopped outside of the kitchen door at the sound of her name.

". . . Sarah's a freaking genius. I spent half the day screwing that program up and she fixed it in two second’s flat. She figured out what to do and did it in less than two hours. Payroll, bills, everything. I've got her working as a maid, for Christ's sake."

"That was her choice," Maggie said calmly. "I don't imagine it's what she intends to do for the rest of her life."

"I worry about that, you know. I think she'll stay until she graduates, but then what? She can do anything she wants. Why would she stay here?"

"To be with you?"

"She can do better than me, Maggie. We both know that."

"I know nothing of the sort, dear. You're a much better person than you give yourself credit for. Sarah knows how special you are."

"Nowhere near as special as she is."

"You're being awfully hard on yourself today. Why is that?"

"Maybe I'm premenstrual."

Maggie blew one of her trademark raspberries. "Come on, Jordan. What's going on with you?"

"I don't know. I feel restless. Fidgety. Like I've got an itch I can't scratch. It's been coming on for a couple of days now and I'm not sure what it is."

"What do you think it is?"

"I wish I knew."

Sarah backed quietly away from the door and left the house from the other side. It was wrong to eavesdrop like that, but she thought she might know what Jordan's problem was. Ever since the reception, Jordan had been holding back in bed. Though that wasn't quite right. Jordan was just as attentive and passionate as ever, but there was always a point at which she seemed to physically restrain herself during their lovemaking. Sarah had a pretty good idea why. Jordan needed to play.

Was she ready? Jordan had her play list and her safe word. Sarah had been expecting Jordan to broach the subject, but nothing had been said. Maybe Sarah needed to be the one to initiate it. That kind of fit with what she'd read in the books. Jordan was consistently cautious about taking power from Sarah. She might need Sarah to formally ask to play.

What would she do? Since Jordan had Sarah's list, it was up to Sarah to surrender control and let Jordan do what she wanted. Of course, Sarah had every right to tell Jordan exactly how she wanted the scene to go, but Sarah suspected that it wouldn't be as satisfying for Jordan if she did. At least, not this time.

After throwing up, Sarah's senses seemed to be both numbed and heightened at the same time. Her mind hung in limbo, watching abstractly as she took a shower and braided her hair back. Jordan wasn't the only one who needed this. Sarah could see clearly now that she had been building toward it for some time. Thinking about it wasn't enough anymore.

Maggie was doing the dishes when Sarah stepped into the kitchen. The old woman smiled over her shoulder and then did a double take. "Are you all right?"

Sarah was far away. "Is everyone gone?"

"Yes. You look strange."

"Go home, Maggie."

She seemed torn between finishing the dishes and arguing, but then the fight went out of her. Maggie wiped her hands dry and reached for her coat. "Do you know what you're doing?"

"No. But Jordan does." A feeling of peace settled over her shoulders. "I trust her. Everything will be okay."

Maggie kissed Sarah's cheek and left the house. Breathing in the silence, Sarah committed herself completely to what she was about to do. There would be no turning back. Needing to prove to herself that she was acting of her own volition and not merely in response to Jordan's needs, Sarah stripped down completely. She would go to Jordan naked.

Leaving her clothes folded neatly on a chair, Sarah lifted her chin and strode through the house with confidence. Arousal shot through her like lightning with every step. She was wet and her nipples ached for attention. The sound of a television guided her to one of the living rooms. Sarah stepped inside and waited for Jordan to notice her. The hardening of desire on Jordan's face made her weak and she had trouble shaping words.

"It's time."

Neither of them moved for an eternal moment and then Jordan stood up. Sarah turned and led the way upstairs. When she reached for the dungeon door, Jordan's hand reached over her shoulder to stop her.

"Remind me of your safe word."

Sarah could feel the strength and heat of Jordan at her back and it nearly unhinged her. This was really happening! "Jaguar."

"Don't expect me to keep reminding you that you can stop me. I'm going to do what I want until I'm done, or you use your word. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she breathed. Jordan's hand moved and Sarah opened the door.

~***~

All of the hard edges of Jordan's face were gone now. She looked soft and vulnerable and peaceful. Sarah couldn't take her eyes off of her, which wasn't hard as she was curled up in Jordan's lap. She had never felt so boneless and relaxed. "My favorite part?" she repeated thoughtfully. "You. The way you were with me."

"What was it you liked?"

"Well, you're always strong and compelling, but this was different."

"Different how?"

It was hard to put it into words. In fact, speaking at all was arduous. "You handled me. Like what I was feeling belonged to you. You made something inside of me and my purpose was to experience it."

"And you liked that?"

"I loved it. I think . . . I've been wanting that since . . . forever. Only I didn't know it."

"Sometimes it happens like that," Jordan said tenderly. "You don't know what's missing until you find it."

Sarah traced Jordan's chin with a fingertip. "It's been happening to me a lot lately."

"It can be very disconcerting."

"Yes."

Jordan ran her hand around the curve of Sarah's cheek. "Tell me another thing you liked."

That was easy. "I liked being tied up. I liked it a lot."

"Can you tell me why?"

Sarah mentally put herself back on the cross. It was the first place Jordan had bound her and Sarah had been shocked at how exciting it was. "Part of it was being helpless. I know I have a safe word, but I really didn't remember that at the time. I felt like I had no control. You could do anything you wanted to me. The other part was that...it made me feel...like I belonged to you. Like you have a right to have me like that. And..."

"You're doing fine. Take your time."

Sarah concentrated on what she had felt. "I felt like I had no choice but to enjoy it. Like being tied up gave me permission to just feel." She sighed. "My words don't even come close to what I felt. I just don't know how to verbalize it."

"It's okay, baby. I'm just glad it's something you want."

"Oh yeah," Sarah grinned. "You can tie me up anytime."

Jordan chuckled. "I may take you up on that."

Sarah pulled her down for a brief kiss. "Please do."

"Okay. Now, tell me something you didn't like."

Sarah considered it. "Well, there wasn't anything I didn't like, but I didn't really get the feather thing."

"No?"

She shook her head. "I didn't hate it. It just didn't really make me feel anything. Is it supposed to tickle or something?"

Jordan shrugged. "For some people, it does. Others enjoy the torment of being touched so softly when they want more. For me, it's mostly a visual treat. From a purely aesthetic standpoint, it was lovely, but it's not something I'm going to insist on."

"Oh, you can do it. It didn't bother me. I just thought maybe I was supposed to feel more than I did."

"You're only supposed to feel exactly what you feel, baby. Don't start putting expectations on yourself."

"Tell me something you liked, Jordan."

With a gentle smile, Jordan laid her head over on her shoulder. "For me, everything was absolutely perfect, but the thing that put me over the edge was when I put my thumb up your ass."

Sarah couldn't help but blush.

"You loved that," Jordan smiled.

"I did," she admitted.

"I was afraid you wouldn't, you know."

"It was so intense. It was like you were stimulating my nervous system directly. Why do people talk about that like it's terrible?"

"Maybe for some people, it is."

Sarah closed her eyes to recapture the feeling. "It was like being right on the edge of coming the whole time. I felt frantic for it. Like I was bursting right out of my skin."

"You were incredible, little one. I have never enjoyed anyone more than I did you tonight. It transcended playing on every level. It's never been anything like that for me. I am curious though as to why you picked tonight. The way you came to me . . . I didn't expect that at all."

"You needed it," she said simply. "I think maybe I did, too, but you were hurting for it."

Jordan looked confused. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"I overheard you talking to Maggie in the kitchen. You said you were feeling restless. Like you had an itch you couldn't scratch. I knew right away what it was."

"You did this for me?"

"Yes."

Jordan looked truly anguished. "Sarah."

Placing her fingers over Jordan's lips, Sarah spoke from her heart. "You needed this. Maybe I needed to know you needed me this way before I could take the last step. You're always so careful not to pressure or influence me. You always put my needs and feelings first. It's wonderful that you do that, but sometimes I wish you wouldn't. Sometimes I need you to tell me how it's going to be or what you want. I know I can say no, Jordan. It's like you don't trust me sometimes to stand up for myself. You didn't do anything tonight that I didn't want. That's why I came to you like I did. I didn't want there to be any question about my commitment. Yes, I chose tonight because you needed it, but I needed it, too. Not just this but feeling like I could do something to take care of you. You're so strong that sometimes I feel like you don't really need me."

"That's not true."

"Maybe not, but sometimes it feels that way. I don't think it's you though. Maybe it's my own insecurities. Maggie says I'm listening to my parents too much. She's probably right. I could never do anything to make them happy or make them love me. They didn't need anything from me or even want anything I had to offer. Most of the time, I don't know what it is that you need or want from me. I spend a lot of time guessing. The way you were with me tonight gave me permission to just be. I didn't have to think about what to do. You made me what you needed. I think I need more of that. It made me feel safe and . . . whole."

A single tear slowly rolled down Jordan's cheek. "You just don't know what a treasure you are to me."

Sarah caught the tear on her fingers. "Did what I said make sense?"

"You expressed yourself very well, little one. I didn't understand what it was you needed from me. And I think you're right that I haven't trusted your strength. I apologize for that and I'll try to do better in the future."

"Thank you."

Jordan took a deep breath. "Unless I request it of you, don't ever walk through the house naked again. There could have been someone here."

"Maggie said there wasn't."

"Maggie's not in charge."

Sarah smiled at Jordan's shift in attitude. "Point taken."

"Good. You liked it, didn't you? Coming to me naked like that?"

Another blush crept up her neck. "It was exciting."

Jordan smiled. "Excellent. I think I'll make a new rule. When you come down to my rooms, you'll stop at the bottom of the stairs and take off your clothes. I'll put in a shelf and some hooks for your things. You are not allowed to wear clothing of any kind in my rooms."

It seemed like an odd request, but it wasn't anything Sarah had a problem with. "All right."

Jordan's confidence was building. "From now on, when I tell you I love you, I want you to tell me something you love about me. I know it's hard for you to say the words and that's fine. When you do say it, I'll know you really mean it, but I need something back from you when I tell you how I feel. It doesn't have to be something big or profound. Just the first thing that comes to your mind. Can you do that for me?"

It was actually a huge relief. Not being able to force herself to tell Jordan that she loved her had been nagging at her. She was feeling obligated to say it back and it was killing her that she couldn't. Knowing how Jordan wanted her to respond made it much easier. "I can do that."

"I love you."

The first thing that came to mind? "I love how sweet you are with me."

"I love you."

"I love the way you kiss." The kiss Jordan gave her was more comforting than passionate, yet no less fulfilling.

"I'm going to sit here and watch you while you clean up after us," Jordan said gently. "Then we're going to go downstairs, take a long hot bath together and get some sleep. I know it's not very late, but you'll need all the sleep you can get. You'll be sore tomorrow."

Sarah put a hand to one breast. "My nipples are already sore from the clamps. They're throbbing."

"That will probably last through tomorrow. They'll toughen up in time."

"I'm not sure I want them to," she admitted.

Jordan grinned. "Then I'll see to it that they don't."

~***~

"I'm going to be a little late tonight," Sarah said as she pulled her shirt over her head. "I have to stop at the lawyer's office. She said something about an offer that we should go over."

"How much is it?" Jordan asked from the bed.

"I don't know. If it pays all the hospital bills and lets me buy a car, I'll be happy."

"I'll sell you the Jag for a thousand."

Sarah knelt to look under her bed for her other shoe. "It's worth more than that."

"Cirenio can't get the smell out."

Looking over the mattress at her lover, Sarah thought it over. "Are you serious?"

Jordan stretched and folded her hands under her head. "A thousand bucks and it's yours."

A two-year-old Jaguar sedan for a thousand dollars? Just because it smelled funny. How hard was it to buy one of those scented trees? "Let me think it over for a couple of days."

"On one condition."

"Here it comes," Sarah mumbled.

"You have to park it in the garage. It won't do to ruin the paint job by leaving it outside."

That didn't sound so bad. "Okay." Finding her shoe, she crawled up on the bed to put them on. "I'm going to invite my study group to come over tomorrow afternoon. Probably about three. Saturday is the best day for everyone to get together for a longer period."

"Do I get to meet my competition?"

Sarah snorted. "Don't even go there. You have no competition, and you know it."

"True."

She sounded so smug. Sarah reached over and tweaked a nipple, eliciting a twitch and a grin. "Do you want to meet them?"

"Yes. But I don't have to if it will make you uncomfortable."

She finished tying her shoes and crawled over to lay on Jordan. "I don't mind if you meet them, but I'm not sure how to introduce you."

"Let's start with boss and go from there."

Sarah bit her lip. "But that sounds so impersonal. I don't want you to feel like I'm embarrassed by you."

Jordan put a hand to Sarah's hair in a soft caress. "I'll tell you what. I'll show up about five with pizzas and we'll wing it. I'll let you introduce me however you feel most comfortable at the time and I promise not to be offended. No matter what happens, I'll just picture you naked and bound to the cross. That's all the truth I need."

Sarah kissed Jordan hungrily. "It's been over a week. When are we going to do that again?"

"Soon, baby. First, I want you to come to the party on Sunday night. There will only be ten or fifteen people there, so I'll be able to give you more attention."

Her heart quickened and her skin tingled. "What do I do?"

"Just follow my lead. Now, you'd better get going or I'm not going to let you leave."

Sarah glanced over at the clock. "I've got ten minutes. I'll bet I can make you come in that time."

Jordan smiled lazily. "You're welcome to try."

She did it in eight and Jordan was sleeping when she left. The image of her satisfied lover sleeping in her bed made the whole day seem brighter. Her classes were interesting, and her study group acted like they'd been invited to the White House at her invitation. Everything was great until she got to the lawyer's office.

Later, she couldn't remember driving home. One minute she had been in the mahogany furnished office and the next she was sitting at her dining table. How she got from one place to the other was a complete mystery. Sarah didn't know whether to throw up or pass out.

After the hospital bills, the lawyer's cut, the expense of the rental car and the estimated taxes, she was going to have somewhere in the neighborhood of $300,000. That didn't seem like a lot considering that the case was being settled for three-quarters of a million dollars, but it was still an extraordinary amount of money. It seemed like far too much money for something that had done so little actual damage to her. It didn't seem fair somehow.

The lawyer had been quite proud of herself, but Sarah just felt sick. She was smart enough to realize that she now had all the capital she could wish for when she decided to start her business-whatever that was going to be. For that matter, she could buy an existing business and try her hand at running it. Or, if she was careful, she could do nothing and live off the money for years. Hell, she could live like a queen forever in Mexico. She could buy a house and never have to pay rent again. She could invest it or buy T-Bills or roll around naked in it.

She had worked so long and hard to achieve a single goal that having the means to realize any number of dreams just fall into her lap was scaring her silly. The plan had been to work and save money over a number of years. That wasn't necessary anymore and she didn't know how to handle it. The plan would have to change, but how? Now that she had financial security, what did she want? How did she want her life to change?

Sarah realized in a moment of clarity that she didn't want her life to change. The way it was right now was better than anything she had ever imagined for herself. Sure, when she graduated, she would go looking for a job in her field, but a job would just replace the time she now spent on classes and study. Nothing else had to change. She could keep on working for Jordan and living on the estate. Cleaning the dungeon felt more like a hobby than an actual job anyway. In fact, if Jordan would let her stay, she would clean it for free. She didn't need the money; especially since she lived largely off the tips already. Most of her paychecks went into the bank and stayed there.

Things started to click into place and her fear of the money vanished. She would open a savings account and put the money in it. It could sit there and draw interest until she decided what she wanted to do with it. Regardless of whether or not she deserved it, it was hers. It would be a mistake to think of it as anything other than a tool. A fabulous tool, yes, but only a tool. When she figured out how best to use it, she would build something with it.

Now that she felt better, Sarah glanced at the clock. The players would start to arrive in an hour and a half. If she wanted to see Jordan, she would probably have to go up to the estate. Sarah changed her clothes and grabbed her pack on impulse. Maybe tonight she would stay in Jordan's room. Most of the time, Jordan came to Sarah's cottage. If it was all right with Jordan, this would make a nice change for both of them. She had to be up at the house early to work anyway.

This was only the third time Sarah had been in Jordan's rooms since the new rule had been set. As instructed, Sarah stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took off her clothes. Leaving her pack under her neatly folded clothing, she entered the apartment. It was exciting to be naked here. In part because she was naked, but mostly because she was choosing to follow an order. Obeying gave Jordan power and for reasons she didn't fully understand, Sarah found that highly arousing.

Jordan was just getting out of the shower. Sarah smiled at the towel around Jordan's slender waist. It was exactly the way a man wore a towel. Women wore it under their armpits, but Jordan didn't. It was strangely endearing. "Hi there."

"Hey," Jordan replied with a possessive look at Sarah's nudity. "Didn't think I would get to see you. How did it go?"

"Pretty well. Is it all right with you if I stay down here tonight?"

Jordan brushed water out of her eyes and leaned over to give Sarah a kiss on the cheek. "Of course. I'd like that."

"I brought my books so I could study."

"That's fine."

It occurred to her that she had never seen Jordan get ready for one of the parties. Now she was curious. "May I watch you dress?"

A grin tugged at the corner of Jordan's mouth. "Sure."

Sarah put the lid down on the toilet and sat down. True to form, Jordan let herself air dry as she worked on her hair. Jordan was quite vain about her hair. As far as Sarah could see, it wasn't at all unmanageable, but Jordan took pains with it. Somehow that vanity made Jordan more human and less a superhero. Jordan brushed her teeth, splashed on some scent and dropped her towel on the floor. Sarah picked it up and put it over the shower door before following Jordan into the bedroom.

The mingled scents of leather and cedar in the walk-in closet surrounded Sarah like a blanket. For her, they would always be associated with Jordan.

"Would you like to dress me?" Jordan asked.

Sarah's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Sure. We'll start with my cock."

The harsh word was a bit of a shock. They never talked about it even though it was as much a part of Jordan as the color of her eyes. For all Sarah's talk about accepting the man in Jordan, she had not explored this part of her lover. Maybe it was time.

"Choose a harness for me, little one."

They were hanging next to Jordan's ties. Sarah didn't even know which one was Jordan's favorite. All she knew for sure was that Jordan liked black leather. Choosing one that was familiar to her and looked simple to put on, Sarah slowly knelt in front of Jordan and held it for her. A hand rested on the top of her head for balance as Jordan stepped into it. Working from the memory of how it should look around Jordan's hips, Sarah eased it into place and secured it. "Is that right?"

"Perfect."

Jordan had quite a private collection of dildos. Some were just vague shapes that would fit into her BVD's, but most were quite functional. Sarah opened several drawers, trying to decide which one would be best. In the end, she picked the one that was hardest for her to appreciate. Eight inches long, it looked like a real penis. Not that Sarah had ever seen one in the flesh, but she'd seen pictures. This was a man's penis. If the whole point was to make Jordan a man, then Sarah wanted her to be the very best one. And really, what difference did it make what it looked like? Ultimately, it was just a chunk of latex with a nice paint job. Sooner or later, it would end up in the dishwasher.

Sarah reached for the harness and slid the dildo into place. It occurred to her that Jordan didn't look strange wearing the toy. Sarah frequently saw her taking one off and putting one on, but she had never really given it much thought. "What does it feel like to wear this all the time?"

"I'm not really aware of it all that much. It was uncomfortable at first, but I've become accustomed to it over time."

Sarah put her hand around it. She handled dildos all the time, but this was different. This was a part of Jordan; a part she accepted but didn't explore. Turning her grasp into an experimental caress, she heard a hitch in Jordan's breathing. Sarah looked up into the smoldering gaze. "You can feel this?"

"After a fashion."

"How?" Jordan's hand closed around Sarah's and began to move the device against her groin. There was something erotically alien about it that quickened her.

"The base moves against my clitoris," Jordan said in a husky voice, "but part of it is visual. Seeing you touch me like this is very arousing."

Jordan's hand left hers and Sarah continued the motion. "I've been ignoring this part of you."

"I know. It's all right."

"I'm still a little scared of it," she admitted, "but I'll try to do better."

"I know you will. Being a lesbian makes this doubly difficult for you, but I'm not in any hurry. We'll go at whatever speed feels right to you. There's no rush."

Silently promising herself to pay more attention to Jordan's masculine side, Sarah helped her into the vest that hid her breasts and gave her bulk. Of all the things Jordan wore, Sarah hated the vest the most. The strap-on was an addition. The vest took part of Jordan away. She understood the necessity, but resented it.

After the vest, Sarah chose a tight pair of black leather slacks. She liked the way they hugged Jordan's ass and made her legs look so long. Kneeling on the floor, she dressed Jordan's feet in socks and boots. It was almost like having her very own living doll to play dress up with, even if it was awkward.

That done, she began to look for a shirt. There were so many to choose from. "What do you usually wear?"

"You're doing just fine, baby. Keep going."

Sarah pictured the dungeon in her mind and looked for something that would fit in. Jordan was the Dungeon Master. She not only had to be in control of the players, but she should also be as intimidating as the room itself. Sarah found a shirt that could do that. It was a fine silk in a red so dark it was nearly black. Only as it moved under the light did the red come out. It was deliciously sinister and felt like a whisper on her skin. She liked it even better on Jordan. Sarah buttoned it up and meticulously tucked it into the pants before fastening them. "I feel like a squire readying her knight for battle."

"Or a slave dressing her Master."

The truth of that gave her pause. "I'm not your slave."

"I know. Just indulging in a little fantasy."

Sarah loosened the silk shirt in Jordan's pants so she would have room to move. Her mind was turning the situation over carefully. Here she was, naked, and dressing Jordan like a body servant would. It was probably natural for Jordan to have such a fantasy. In fact, if she was honest with herself, she was having a bit of that fantasy herself. After all, what was a squire, really, but a body servant? If she could appreciate the one, why not the other? It's not like she wasn't in control of what was happening. It had been her choice to come down to Jordan's rooms and take her clothes off. Jordan had asked if Sarah wanted to dress her. If it was all Sarah's choice, then she could choose to be okay with it.

Stepping back, she studied her creation. Jordan looked hot, but unfinished. That collar begged for a tie. None of Jordan's ties really worked with it though. Then she found several bolo ties. One of them had a red and black emblem that looked like a yin/yang symbol except that it had three sections instead of two. "Does this mean something?"

"It's the symbol for the BDSM lifestyle," Jordan answered.

"Perfect." Sarah slipped it around Jordan's neck and arranged it under the collar. Snugging it up and centering it, she let her hands slide down the now smooth chest. "I love this shirt on you."

"I'll have to remember that."

She thought of something else. "You need a belt." Sarah chose a braided leather belt that matched the tiny braids of the bolo and ran it through the loops. Jordan waited patiently as Sarah buckled it. "There. That's better. Now you look ready."

Jordan turned to the mirror and studied herself. Straightening her collar, she looked at Sarah through her reflection. "Very nice. Thank you."

Sarah warmed at the compliment. "You're welcome." She warmed even more as Jordan's arms embraced her and held her close.

"I'm going to go crazy," Jordan whispered fervently. "Thinking about you waiting for me down here while they play their silly games. So soft and warm and sexy. I love you so much."

Sarah's desire hardened at the words; her body suddenly painfully sensitive to the twin feelings of silk and leather along her length. She knew she was supposed to tell Jordan something in return, but the ability to speak was lost to the demands of her passion. She felt ravenous for Jordan's kiss and eagerly sucked at the knowledgeable mouth. There was something about being naked when Jordan wasn't that just sent her over the edge. It wasn't the first time she had been aware of it. In fact, it was how she felt when Jordan bound her in the dungeon. It was an urgent, tingling, needy feeling that filled her up and begged desperately for more.

"I have to go."

Sarah buried her face in Jordan's neck at the regretful words. "I wish . . ."

"I'm sorry, baby. I really am. I'll make it up to you."

With a last slow grind of her hips against leather, Sarah eased back. "It's okay."

Jordan followed with nibbling kisses and soft touches. "I hate doing this to you. Making you all hot and wet only to have to leave."

Still aching with need, Sarah did feel a little bit better. "Will you wake me up?"

"You can count on it."

She nodded, her hands smoothing the expensive fabric over Jordan's chest. "Have a good time, okay?"

"Are you kidding?" Jordan looked shocked. "It's going to be agony. Every minute is going to feel like a year in hell. All I'm going to be able to think about is making you come. Ah, the hell with it."

Sarah didn't even have time to gasp as she was lifted, and Jordan's body pressed her firmly against the wall. She groaned into Jordan's searing kiss as her legs were lifted to circle the slim waist and Jordan began thrusting against her. The firm bulge behind the leather of Jordan's pants was stroking her clitoris and the silk of the dark shirt felt like sandpaper on her nipples. Grasping at the dark head, Sarah put her head back with a tormented moan of need. Sharp teeth nipped at her throat. Tightening her legs for leverage, Sarah found the counterpoint to Jordan's thrusting hips with her own. Hands covered her breasts roughly and she cried out at the exquisite pleasure of having her nipples massaged.

It was so fast. Almost before she was ready, her orgasm ripped through her. She was only out of touch for a moment and then she was fully cognizant of Jordan's need. The strong woman was moaning freely, her entire body straining into Sarah. Still enjoying the echoes of her own numbing pleasure, Sarah continued to writhe against her lover. "I want you to come," she pleaded in a near growl that almost shocked her.

Jordan responded to her voice with a groan and Sarah licked her lips as she separated herself from her pride. Tangling her fingers in Jordan's short hair, she demanded, "Fuck me, Master."

The dominating woman came moments later with a shuddering howl and Sarah knew she had never heard anything so sweet. Keeping her legs tightly scissored, she relaxed her arms and combed her fingers through the tousled hair. "I've messed you all up."

Jordan chuckled as her hands slid beneath Sarah's hips to hold her up. "Girl, all you have to do is look at me and I get messed up inside. You're amazing."

Sarah giggled and held on as Jordan lifted her away from the wall.

"Grab those, would you?"

Following the tilt of Jordan's chin, Sarah picked up leather gloves from the dresser top. Walking made her clit rock over the slick leather and she bit back a gasp as passion began to grow again. Jordan was going to leave in a short time and Sarah already missed her. Laying her head on the sturdy shoulder, she hugged her hard.

"Oh, baby," Jordan crooned. "I wish I didn't have to leave, but I'm not going very far, and I'll hurry back to make love to you properly. Will you be all right here alone?"

Sarah nodded. She wasn't at all sure she would be able to let go. Jordan stopped at the door leading upstairs and simply stood there, holding Sarah tight. Sarah felt like ivy clinging to a wall. Several minutes passed before she was able to lower her feet to the floor, but Jordan didn't let go and it made her feel a little less lost and helpless. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, little one. Being with you is the greatest honor and privilege of my life. Letting you go is torture."

Sarah smiled through the tears in her eyes. "You always say the nicest things."

Jordan kissed her thoroughly, pulled on her gloves and then she was gone.

~***~

The looks of awe and jealousy on the faces of her study group was quite satisfying. "This is yours?" Lisa asked.

"Yep. Come on in."

Bonnie walked backwards through the door, her eyes on her memory of driving by the big house. "That's the biggest house I've ever seen. It's a mansion. You clean that?"

"Parts of it."

"Can we get a tour?"

Sarah had been afraid of that. "I don't think so. It would be inappropriate. After all, that's where my boss lives."

"This is a great house," Janet said with approval. "I thought you said it was a cottage."

Sarah closed the door and began taking coats to hang in the closet. "Well, compared to the big house, it is. My boss calls it a cottage and I've gotten used to thinking of it that way. Do you guys want coffee? I've already got it going, but I've also got juice and sodas."

The girls didn't even ask if they could look around. They wandered into her bedroom as if they had a right to be there. Sarah was very uncomfortable with that but figured they would get it out of their systems and settle down. She forced herself to go into the kitchen and set their drinks out while they looked around, thankful that she had taken the time to clean up and make sure there was nothing incriminating lying out where they could see it.

Tamar was the first to return to the kitchen. "Thanks for letting us come out here. It's nice to get away from school for a while. Even if we are going to study."

Sarah kind of liked Tamar. She tended to be quiet, but she was focused and more mature than the others. Tamar was taking business classes so she could go into corporate law. The choice made her unpopular with her traditional Jewish family, but it made Sarah respect her more. It had to be hard to go against your family's wishes like that and probably accounted for Tamar's maturity. "I'm glad you came. Do you want anything in your coffee?"

"Milk, please."

Sarah set out milk, cream and sugar on the counter as the other girls joined them.

Lisa was grinning. "So, does your boss need anyone else to work for him?"

"I don't think so."

"Too bad. I'd love to have a set up like this. Does he pay well?"

"I do all right," Sarah hedged.

"What's his wife like?"

She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Um . . . there's no wife."

Bonnie leaned on the counter with a glint in her eye. "Is he cute?"

It was an impossible situation. Sarah wanted to claim their relationship there and then. Anything to keep these girls from lusting after Jordan. But she just couldn't do it. She couldn't bear the questions and the teasing she was sure to get. Sarah could feel the cowardice in the marrow of her bones, and it made her feel lower than dirt.

"I don't care if he's cute," Lisa laughed. "If he's old, I'll take him. As long as he puts me in the will."

Tamar was the only one who didn't laugh. A look of disgust passed between them and Sarah decided that she did want to know her better. Having an ally, even if she didn't know what was going on, gave Sarah courage. Lifting her chin, she spoke firmly. "He's not old and he's one of the nicest people I've ever met. In fact, when he heard you all were coming, he volunteered to bring us pizza in a couple of hours. You'll get a chance to see him for yourselves. I suggest we get to work and see how much ground we can cover before he gets here. Bonnie, you wanted to present your business plan and see if we could find areas of improvement? I'd like to do that as well."

Tamar nodded. "If we have time, I'd like to go over yesterday's finance class. Professor Moore just confuses me."

The others seemed to understand that they had embarrassed themselves and the five of them sat down at the dining room table with no further comment on Jordan's availability. Sarah felt better in her element and had no trouble getting them all to focus.

They spent the first hour rehashing the finance class. Professor Moore was a tad confusing. If you read ahead and concentrated, he wasn't too bad, but he expected his students to have the basics down. He wasn't good at making sure everyone was on the same page. Between the five of them, they got his lecture sorted out and even did some prep for the next class.

Bonnie stood up to present her plan. It sounded pretty naive to Sarah. Bonnie seemed to be under the impression that all she had to do was open the doors to her little bookstore/coffee shop and customers would be flocking in. She didn't seem to have any of it figured out. All she really had was an idea. It was pretty far into the semester to be so unprepared. Sarah had been expecting numbers, not decor.

Tamar was the first to venture a question. "Um . . . What's your overhead?" The blank look on Bonnie's face prompted her to add, "You know, how much daily business do you have to turn to cover your expenses?"

Bonnie shuffled through her papers and found the one she was looking for. "Mostly, I've just got the start-up figured out. You know, what it's going to cost to get the place set up and the equipment I'll need. I'm working on the inventory stuff now."

Sarah leaned over to look at the paper Tamar was studying. It was pathetic. Bonnie was scribbling about how much to spend on art and paint, for crying out loud. She even had the color scheme set out. Sarah suddenly realized that Bonnie was not cut out to be a businesswoman. Maybe a mid-level office manager if she ever grew up, but nothing more. It shocked her to the core and left her speechless.

"This is all well and good," Tamar said slowly, "but is this what your advisor wants?"

Bonnie sat down with a sigh. "All he ever talks about is projections and market curves and supply and demand and taking it to the next level. This is what I'm good at. I could make a great business. The kind of place where people feel comfortable. The kind of place where they want to come. I just want to build it, not run it."

Sarah could see the crestfallen look in Bonnie's eyes, and she got an idea. "Maybe you're going about this in the wrong way."

"What do you mean?"

Taking the paper from Tamar's hands, Sarah held it up. "If this is what you're good at, why not make it your business plan?"

"I don't understand."

"If you don't want to run a coffee shop, why are you writing your plan on one? If what you like to do is design, then write about that. All you have to do is figure out how much you want to make and whether or not you want to hire contractors or employees. If you start as a home-based business, your overhead will be minimal, and you'll get some nifty tax breaks in the bargain. The customer pays for everything. You won't have to figure out inventory or equipment. Especially if you go with contractors."

Sarah wadded up the worthless paper and tossed it over her shoulder. She could see that she had Bonnie's attention. "You're going to have to start over. Let's brainstorm what you need to find out."

Bonnie wrote down their questions and ideas as fast as they came. Sarah thought if she could just focus long enough to get the answers, she would have a paper worth turning in. She certainly seemed more confident in the new direction her project was taking.

The knock on the door took Sarah unaware. She had been so involved in getting Bonnie's mess straightened out that she had forgotten all about Jordan coming. Her stomach immediately tied itself in a knot. "That must be the pizza," she said with a weak smile. Her knees shook as she went to the door.

Jordan had four pizzas balanced on one hand, a case of cokes in the other and a smile. "How's my timing?"

The smile made Sarah feel marginally better. "Pretty good. Come on in."

Closing the door behind her lover, Sarah turned and saw the awestruck looks on her classmates. Jordan went straight to the kitchen and put the food and drinks on the counter. "Howdy all. Thought you might need some brain food right about now. Lord knows it got me through college."

For a long moment, no one said anything and Sarah realized that it was up to her to make the introductions. It was the moment of truth and Jordan looked perfectly at ease with anything that should come out of her mouth. "Uh . . . Jordan, this is Janet, Bonnie, Tamar and Lisa. Ladies, this is my boss . . . and my best friend. Jordan Crisp."

She hadn't been sure what was going to come out of her mouth until it had. It felt like exactly the right thing to say and the smile in Jordan's eyes was approving. Sarah relaxed as Jordan shook hands around the table.

"It's a real pleasure to meet you," Lisa said in a syrupy voice. "Sarah says such nice things about you. You're awfully sweet to bring us pizza. Will you stay and have some with us?"

Sarah wanted to scratch Lisa’s eyes out and set her hair on fire.

"I'm afraid I can only stay for a few minutes," Jordan said easily as she took her hand back. "I have an engagement this evening to prepare for. It was not my intention to interrupt your studies."

Sarah suddenly didn't want her to leave. "You brought enough pizza to feed an army. At least stay long enough to help us eat some of it."

Jordan turned her back on the girls and smiled a secret smile just for Sarah. "Since you asked so nicely, I will."

Setting out plates and napkins, Sarah kept an eye on Jordan as the girls gathered around the counter. Sure enough, Lisa managed to put herself at Jordan's elbow. Sarah had a strong desire to find out if Lisa could fly if she had a broom stuck up her ass.

"So, Jordan, what was your major in college?"

Jordan never even looked at Lisa. "History." She pulled two slices of the combo pizza onto her plate and stepped back.

"I love history," Lisa oozed. "It's so fascinating."

Tamar rolled her eyes and held her plate towards Sarah. "Would you toss a piece of the veggie on here?"

"Sure." Sarah gave her a big slice and then took one for herself. "Does anyone want ice for their coke?" No one did and Sarah leaned back against the counter to watch. She felt like she was in the middle of a disaster film. Everything seemed okay at the moment, but any second now, all hell was going to break loose. It made her want to giggle.

"Are all of you business majors?" Jordan asked.

"I am," Lisa announced. "I think it's important for women to understand the world that men live in. Maybe if more women took an interest in corporate America and the economy, men wouldn't be under so much stress. A man should be able to come home from the office and relax. I think understanding what a man does all day makes a woman more helpful as a mate."

Sarah nearly inhaled a chunk of bell pepper. This was news to everyone. Lisa talked all the time about opening a chain of tanning salons. Catering to the needs of a man like a 1950's housewife was never in any agenda she ever talked about.

"I'd love to get your perspective on that some time."

Jordan looked like she was trying to understand a foreign language. After a moment of silence, she made a thoughtful noise in her chest and turned to Janet. "And you?"

"My dad owns a hardware store," Janet said. "I worked for him all through high school and during the summers since. He promised if I got a business degree, he'd open up a second store and let me manage it. He's planning to do it anyway, but it's pretty cool that he's willing to wait for me and give me a chance. Of course, I think I'll gear mine more towards the yard and garden crowd once it gets on its feet."

"Sounds like your dad is pretty proud of you," Jordan nodded. "Good luck with it." She looked at Bonnie. "What about you?"

"Definitely business, but I'm not sure yet how I'll use it. I've got some ideas, but nothing firm."

"Nothing wrong with that," Jordan conceded.

"I'm pre-law," Tamar volunteered. "Specifically, corporate law."

"Hmm. Why corporate?"

Tamar shrugged. "Money. Power. Prestige."

Jordan chuckled. "An honest answer. I can respect that."

Lisa sidled up to Jordan. "What do you do, Jordan?"

She took a big bite and grinned around it. "Pizza delivery. The tips are great."

Apparently, Lisa thought this was the funniest thing she'd ever heard and it gave her a reason to put a fluttering hand on Jordan's arm. Before Sarah could kill her, Jordan stepped forward to pick up a napkin and moved to stand next to Sarah, putting her out of Lisa's reach. It was very casually done, but it meant everything to Sarah.

"No, really," Lisa persisted as she closed in again. "What kind of work do you do?"

Sarah set her plate aside in anticipation. If Lisa made one more attempt to touch Jordan, Sarah was going to choke her to death with her own intestines.

"I'm a research scientist," Jordan lied casually. "I'm trying to find a cure for leprosy."

Surprised at the lie, Sarah glanced up at her just as Jordan reached back to scratch vigorously at the nape of her neck. It was just too funny, and she burst out laughing at the frozen looks on her study group.

"What?" Jordan asked innocently.

"Leprosy? Good one." Sarah was still laughing as she stepped forward and gently, but firmly, pushed Lisa out of the kitchen. "Cool your jets, Lisa."

Lisa gaped in feigned innocence. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Sarah wasn't afraid anymore. "Back off," she said with what she hoped was a dangerous smile, "or I'll rip your arm off and shove it up your ass. He's taken." The utter shock in Lisa's eyes was supremely satisfying.

"But . . .you? I thought . . . Aren't you gay?"

Sarah folded her arms. "Usually. What's your point?"

Lisa still looked like something big had fallen on her head. "You're sleeping with your boss?"

Jordan snorted. "Sleeping?"

Sarah threw a warning look over her shoulder.

Jordan gave her an amused thumbs up. "Sorry. You're doing great, babe. Keep it up."

Shifting her hands to her hips, Sarah faced Lisa again. "Are we clear?"

Lisa took a step back and held up a hand. "Sure. No problem. I didn't mean to poach. If you'd just said something . . ."

"I'm saying it now." Sarah looked at the other girls. Tamar was trying to hide a grin behind her napkin. "Anybody have a problem with that?"

"Nope," Janet said as heads shook. "No problem at all."

"Good." No one said a word as Sarah retrieved her pizza and reclaimed her spot next to Jordan.

"Actually," the older woman said to break the silence, "I'm primarily involved in community projects right now."

Tamar nodded. "Anything we might have heard of?"

Jordan shifted to cross one leg over another, incidentally, leaning against Sarah. "Well, I'm marginally involved with the Downtown Revitalization Project and the local Battered Women's Shelter, but the thing I'm excited about right now is an idea Sarah came up with a couple of months ago. I've got a rather large circle of friends and we're looking to get involved with helping people on a more personal level. It's all well and good to throw money at problems, but not everyone has money to throw. Besides which, money by itself doesn't fix things and a lot of that money ends up greasing the wrong palms. Most things that need doing need people willing to get their hands dirty."

"What kind of things are you hoping to accomplish?"

"Finding projects is the easy part. Setting the priorities and getting approval from the city is where it gets tough. It's one thing to volunteer to clean and paint the youth center and quite another to get permission to actually do it. Everyone gets a little territorial when you offer to do for free what they're hoping to get paid for. Until we get that sort of thing approved, we're talking about regular blood drives and picking up trash in the parks. Did you know you can't just go out and randomly clean alongside the highway?"

Sarah frowned. "Why not?"

"Beats the hell out of me. You've got to apply for a specific stretch of road and then they want to put up a sign staking your claim. Of course, if you go that route, they want you to do it on a regular schedule and they'll hound you if you don't. It's no wonder more people don't volunteer with it being so hard to do. Maybe I'm naive, but I thought the city would be bending over backwards to accommodate an army of volunteers. Instead, they're throwing up roadblocks left and right. It's frustrating."

They had not talked about the players volunteering since the subject had first been broached. Sarah had been under the impression that Jordan had lost interest in it. She was surprised to learn that Jordan had been following it up. "How many people want to do it?"

"A hundred and twenty-seven."

"So many?"

Jordan smiled. "Cool beans, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Remind me to fill you in later." Jordan glanced at her watch. "I really should go. I've got a few things to take care of before my meeting. Everything cool here?"

Sarah nodded. "Thanks for bringing us dinner."

"Anytime, babe." Jordan wrapped another slice of pizza in a napkin and leaned over to kiss Sarah with a brief touch of her lips. "You rock," she whispered.

Sarah was blushing as Jordan said her good-byes and left the cottage. Four sets of eyes swiveled to her as soon as the front door closed.

"Oh . . . My . . . God." Bonnie fanned herself with one hand. "Does he have a brother? A cousin? Hell, I ain't picky. Does he have a dog? What a hunk!"

"He seems really nice," Tamar said.

Sarah smiled at her. "He really is."

"Those eyes," Janet sighed. "He's gorgeous, Sarah."

"Rip my arm off and shove it up my ass?"

Uh oh. Lisa did not look happy. Sarah's belly rolled over and tied itself in a knot.

"Is it my fault that I didn't know you were boinking your boss? If you'd just told us up front, I never would have made a play for him. Did you have to embarrass me like that in front of him?"

Tamar snickered. "I think you did a better job of that than Sarah did."

"Bite me." Lisa all but tossed her plate on the table. "Why didn't you just tell us instead of jumping down my throat like that? You embarrassed me. Some friend you turned out to be."

"Are we friends?" It was an honest question, but it came without thought and sounded harsher than she intended. "I mean, I know we're friendly, but do you consider us friends?"

Lisa made a noise of affront. "Well, I did until you said that. Jesus, Sarah. We've been hanging out for months."

"We don't hang out, Lisa. We study together. We're more like co-workers than friends. I was under no obligation to tell you about my relationship with Jordan. That's a private thing between the two of us and none of your concern. The only reason you know now is because you forced my hand."

"Excuse me? Now it's my fault that I've been humiliated?"

Sarah's nerves settled. She had every right to be upset and she wouldn't allow Lisa to make her feel small and petty. This was her house and Jordan was her boyfriend. "You would have stood a better chance if you'd just been yourself, you know. Jordan isn't some stupid frat boy who keeps his brain in his pants."

"Oh. So now you're going to lecture me about how to catch a man? That's rich. A lesbian is giving me pointers. What do you know about men?"

"Well," Tamar drawled, "she caught Mr. Dreamboat."

Lisa glared at Tamar. "You stay out of this." She turned back to Sarah with flashing eyes. "You're nothing but a feather in his cap. Every man wants a shot at a lesbian. It's an ego boost. He's probably bragging to his friends about doing you. Sooner or later, he'll bring home another woman and ask if he can watch the two of you doing it. You're nothing but the little mistress he's keeping in this cottage, Sarah. You're a toy."

Nothing Lisa was saying had any truth in it. Jordan wasn't like that. Not just because she wasn't really a man, but because it just wasn't in Jordan's nature. But it still hurt. It touched on all the insecurities Sarah worked so hard to deny. The hairy ones that came out to play when she was alone. She had only one defense. "He loves me."

Lisa laughed cruelly. "Of course, he does. They all say they love you. They'll say anything-do anything-to get into your pants. If you knew anything at all about men, you would know that. He's using you and you're too clueless to see it. You can't possibly think that he intends to marry you and make you the lady of this estate. Please tell me you aren't that gullible." Looking smug and self-satisfied, Lisa folded her arms. "Maybe you are. You'd have been better off sticking to women and leaving the men to us. I hope I'm around to see it when he dumps you."

Sarah was shocked by the deliberate attack. Lisa was trying to hurt her. She intended to cause Sarah pain. Such calculated vindictiveness cut right through Sarah's shields and neatly eviscerated her heart. This was why she hadn't told them up front. Her feelings for Jordan made her feel so vulnerable and raw anyway. Telling people about it was like giving them a knife to use against her. All she could do was stand there as tears streamed down her face.

"Poor little Sarah," Lisa mocked. "You are so out of your league."

"Shut up," Tamar said. "You're such a bitch, Lisa. You made a complete ass of yourself and now you're taking it out on Sarah. That's fucked up."

Lisa rounded on Tamar. "You know what? You can kiss my ass. I only let you into my study group as a favor anyway."

"Your study group?" Tamar looked truly amused. "I think we all know it's Sarah's study group. She's the one doing us a favor. It's pretty clear to me that she doesn't need our help to do well in school."

"Fine," Lisa huffed as she reached for her backpack. "You can stay here with the lesbo. Maybe you can be the other woman for her boyfriend. The rest of us are out of here."

"Good riddance to you," Tamar laughed.

Desperate to retain at least some dignity, Sarah wiped her tears away. This whole scene was out of some bad movie and she would be glad when it was over. "I'll give you a ride, Tamar."

"Thanks."

"Um . . ." Janet was waffling, her eyes giving away the fact that she wasn't sure which way to jump. "School is important to me. I need this group. Can't we just work this out?"

Lisa looked for a moment like she had been sucker punched. Then she straightened. "Bonnie and I are leaving. You can come with us or you can stay here with the dykes. You choose. But, if you stay, you're not my friend."

Janet paled noticeably. "What are you saying?"

"I'm pretty sure I said it. What's it going to be?"

No one moved or made a sound while Janet worked it out. "Well, since my whole future is on the line, I guess I'm staying." Her eyes shifted to Sarah hopefully. "If that's all right with you?"

Sarah could hardly believe it. Half of the group was choosing her over Lisa. Janet was even giving up a friendship to do it and Lisa looked like she was going to spit nails over it. "It's okay with me," she smiled tenuously.

"Great," Janet smiled in relief.

"Come on, Bonnie. Let's get out of here."

Her heart still felt like it had been tap danced on, but Sarah pulled herself together. There would be time later to examine the wounds. For now, she had company. Heck, maybe she even had some friends. It was still hard to believe that these two had seen her as more essential than Lisa. Not that Lisa was really all that great a prize with her mediocre intelligence and shallow values, but people didn't choose Sarah so often that she could take it casually. It had been an ugly encounter, but maybe a little miracle had come out of it.

As soon as the door closed behind Lisa and her sidekick, Tamar threw out a hip and flipped her hair back. "Oh, Jordan. I looove history! It's sooo fascinating!"

The tone of voice and the way she flounced around made Sarah dissolve with laughter.

"Don't you think I'm pretty?" Tamar was fawning over Janet as a surrogate for Jordan. "I know! You can screw me, and I'll spend all your money. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Sarah held onto the counter for support as all three of them laughed hysterically. All of the tension and drama of a few minutes before was washed away.

"She is such a Barbie," Tamar continued in her own voice. "What the hell was she talking about with understanding men and stress? Did she really expect that to accomplish anything?"

Sarah used a napkin to dry her merry tears. "I don't know, but did you see the look on Jordan's face?"

Janet grimaced. "If he'd looked at me like that, I'd be hitch-hiking to Tibet to search for inner peace."

Sarah pulled her hair back and took a cleansing breath. "I'm sorry about that whole thing. I had no idea it would get out of hand like that. Jordan just wanted to meet everyone, and I thought it would be okay."

Tamar was grinning ear to ear. "I so wanted to see you kick her ass."

"Oh, God," Sarah groaned. "I can't believe I acted like that."

"You were great," Janet said. "If she'd been putting those pathetic moves on my boyfriend, I'd have snatched her bald."

Sarah looked at Janet with regret. "I'm sorry you lost a friendship."

Janet huffed in dismissal. "If we were friends, it was in Lisa's mind. It's just like you said: we were friendly. Not friends. I only asked if I could join the group because you were in it. Everyone said you were the best." She shrugged. "I didn't expect to like you, too."

"Same here," Tamar added. "I thought you'd be a tight ass, but you've got a great sense of humor and you're smart as hell. Speaking of which, what the heck was that disaster Bonnie called a plan? How on God's green earth did she get to be a senior if that's the best she could do? Where is that paper?"

They liked her. Sarah could hardly credit her luck. She joined them over the crumpled paper to laugh about Bonnie's underdeveloped scheme and her heart was light and free.

Part Five

Sarah looked at herself in the mirror doubtfully. She was wearing one of Jordan's white silk dress shirts, white boxers and fleece-lined slippers that were several times too large. Granted, the shirt did almost cover the boxers, but it just didn't seem like a good idea. "I look like we just got out of bed."

"Precisely. Come here."

On the edge of a full-blown sulk, Sarah barely avoided flouncing over to where Jordan sat on the edge of the bed. The long-fingered hands of her lover began rolling up Sarah's sleeve. "Are you sure this is what I should wear?" Sarah continued. "It's practically see-through."

"If you don't dress like this," Jordan said patiently, "you'll feel out of place. If you have a good time tonight and want to come to more parties, I'll take you out and buy you a leather outfit. But I can pretty much guarantee that it will be more revealing than this. Besides, I want them to think we just got out of bed. The best protection I can give you is to make them believe that you are mine."

Sarah accepted the words as truth, but she couldn't help feeling out of sorts. "Couldn't I at least wear a darker shirt?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

Sarah ground her teeth in frustration. "I am not your slave. You can't just order me like that and get away with it."

Jordan reached for the other sleeve but said nothing.

"Are you listening to me?"

"No."

Angry, Sarah snatched her arm back, but Jordan quickly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down to the bed. "Let me go," Sarah said through gritted teeth.

"You're scared."

"I am not."

"Everything I do is for a reason," Jordan said quietly.

"I don't care. Let me up."

"It's perfectly normal to be scared, baby. You don't know what to expect. I do. All you have to do is trust me. Do you trust me?"

Sarah could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "It's not about trust."

"What is it about then?"

Closing her eyes, Sarah struggled to get her churning emotions under control. She was afraid. More so than at any other time in her life. She stood on a precipice and nothing would ever be the same if she jumped. Would she fall or would she fly?

"You don't have to come up, little one. You can stay here and wait for me. Surely you know that I don't require this of you. I thought you wanted to see a party. If you're only doing this to try to make me happy, I don't want you to come. But, if it's for you, then you need to trust me. Nothing will happen to you upstairs. Even if you change your mind and want me to play with you, I won't. Afterward, we'll talk about anything and everything. If this is what you want to do, I'll do everything in my power to make it a good experience for you, but you have to accept that I know what's best. You have to accept that for the next few hours, you are my submissive. Do what I tell you to do, and you'll be just fine. Or stay here. I love you no matter what you decide."

Sarah curled into the protective strength of Jordan's long body. "I am scared," she whispered.

"I know, baby. It's all right. I won't let anything hurt you."

She cried softly for a few minutes and then relaxed. Did she want to go? In spite of her fears, her curiosity was still high. She did want to see a party. Not just for what people would do, but to see Jordan as the Dungeon Master. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to accept it all as inevitable. "Alright."

Jordan brushed hair from Sarah's face with a gentle touch. "You can stay here, baby. You don't have to come."

"No, I want to."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded as tears were wiped from her cheeks. "I suppose I should call you Master?"

"That might be best."

"Are you going to give me any other instructions before we go? Do I have to kneel or anything?"

"That depends on what kind of impression you want to give. I hadn't planned on asking you to."

Sarah sat up and held her arm out so Jordan could finish rolling the sleeve. "Aren't you going to be judged on how I behave?"

"Perhaps. I'm not terribly concerned with it."

She considered the situation carefully. Sarah might not have any real clue how Jordan was perceived by her players, but she thought it likely that authority and respect were crucial during the parties. If she were to behave incorrectly, it would reflect on Jordan. She didn't want to be the cause of the players treating Jordan as if she didn't command. Since Jordan had made it clear that they would not be playing, Sarah felt that she could afford to allow Jordan to be the dominant. It was all just an illusion anyway. "Jordan?"

Finished with the sleeves, Jordan unfastened one more button on Sarah's shirt. "Yes, baby?"

"Maybe you should . . . I mean, if I'm going to be your submissive, maybe I should act like one."

"Do you want to?"

Sarah couldn't meet her eyes. "I don't want them to think that you aren't my Master. It wouldn't be good for your reputation."

"I see."

"Just for the party," she clarified. "What do I do?"

"Do what I tell you without hesitation or resistance. Don't question me. Don't look into the eyes of the other dominants. Don't react to anything I say about you. On the other hand, feel free to be yourself. No one will expect you to be a perfect sub at your first party."

Sarah glanced up. "Do they know it's my first?"

"Well, they've never seen you at one and you're young. They'll assume that it is. Just remember that every single one of them had a first party and not necessarily here. Some of them have horror stories about their first times. I promise you that none of them will want your first time to be terrible. It'll be okay, Sarah. When it's all over, you'll wonder what you were so worried about."

Sarah reached out and straightened Jordan's tie. "You look really good."

"Thank you." Jordan grinned. "You know, I'm becoming accustomed to having you dress me. I like it very much."

Sarah had to smile. "I like doing it."

Jordan gently lifted Sarah's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "You can say you aren't my slave, but the messages I'm getting are somewhat confusing. We need to talk about that sometime."

"Alright."

"Are you ready?"

Sarah took a calming breath. "Yes."

A total of seven couples came to the party. Four were heterosexual, two were lesbian and one was two men. All of them looked familiar from the New Year’s Eve party. Sarah wrapped a hand in Jordan's belt at the small of her back and stood behind her shoulder as Jordan greeted them all. No one spoke to Sarah, but their eyes drank her in.

Costumes were revealed as Jordan took their coats. Sarah felt like her eyes were going to pop out. Leather, spikes, corsets, chaps, strap-ons, vinyl, chains: it looked like Halloween. One of the men had his genitals in a leather bag that was attached by a chain to a wrist cuff. His woman put it on her arm and gently tugged on it to make him follow. Most of the women had their breasts at least partially exposed and they were not the only ones who were pierced.

In spite of the malevolent nature of their clothing, everyone was smiling and talking. After greeting one another, they trooped upstairs while Jordan locked the front door.

"How are you doing?" Jordan asked.

"My God," Sarah whispered. "Is that normal?"

Jordan laughed quietly. "Pretty much."

Sarah clutched at Jordan's arm. "Thank you for letting me wear this. I had no idea."

"You're welcome, baby. Come on. Let's go have a party."

It wasn't so bad. Sarah had expected the players to dive right into the mayhem, but it started off with dimming the lights and some good classic rock and roll music. People were visiting with each other. Within the first few minutes, the division of dominant and submissive sorted itself out. Subs stood by (or knelt) quietly as the dominants talked and laughed. One of the lesbian couples danced together with loving looks and deliberate caresses. Sarah was surprised that two of the straight women were in the dominant role. If it was true that they were doing what they wanted, then the men were choosing to be submissive. It was strange.

Coffee was made and handed around. Jordan slowly made the rounds as host, but Sarah could hardly pay attention to what they talked about. Keeping her hand tucked into Jordan's leather belt so as not to be separated from her, Sarah let her eyes wander. There was so much to take in.

One of the dancing women was losing her shirt. Sarah snuggled into Jordan's back, but she had to watch. In the past, sneaking into bars to find dates, Sarah had watched a lot of women making love on the dance floor, but she had never seen anything as blatant as this. The women weren't even trying to hide the fact that they were making love. Grinding on each other's legs, the topless woman held her lover's head to her breast with her head thrown back, pleasure evident on her face. It was beautiful.

Sarah could feel her own body responding. It made Jordan's hunger two nights before more understandable. After waiting for hours and then falling asleep, Sarah had been woken by a ravenous woman. Jordan had made love to her repeatedly and then collapsed after her own orgasm. Sarah had to wonder how Jordan went for so long without a lover if this was what she did three nights a week.

Her heart raced, and she tried not to squirm as a hand slipped under the topless woman's skirt. With a knowing smile, the dressed woman brought her lover to orgasm, and they began to laugh. Sarah hid her face against Jordan's shirt to hide the feelings it had given her. Jordan had said that she would not play with Sarah even if she changed her mind. The way she felt right now, it was a good thing to know.

A tug on her sleeve made her slip under Jordan's arm and into her embrace.

"You okay?"

Sarah nodded.

"That's Karen and Amy. Karen's in the vest. They've been together for four or five years and that's what they come to the parties for. They like being watched. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

Sarah blushed to her roots.

"It's okay, little one. You'd have to be three days dead not to enjoy it."

"How do you stand it?"

"What?"

Sarah lifted her chin and repeated her question. "Doesn't it make you…"

"Yes. It does. I like it. Don't you?"

"Well, sure, but . . ."

"You're embarrassed."

"Yeah."

"It's okay. Everything you feel is perfectly normal. You're doing fine."

Grateful that she wasn't exploring one of these parties on her own, Sarah hugged Jordan hard for a moment and then caught sight of another woman on her knees unfastening a man's pants. "Oh, God."

"Hmm?"

She tried not to grimace as the man's penis was exposed. It was not quite what she expected. "Um . . . Jordan?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't that supposed to be bigger?"

Jordan turned to look and then smiled against Sarah's temple. "Don't make me laugh, baby."

She looked up into Jordan's face as the woman covered the man's penis with a condom and took it in her mouth. "Isn't it?"

"He can't help what he was born with," Jordan said with a grin. "Actually, he's pretty average."

"Yours is bigger."

"Mine isn't real," Jordan whispered. "It can be any size we want it to be."

Sarah looked back at the couple. It was pretty disgusting to her and all of the lust the two women had inspired in her faded away. She had to work to keep a straight face. "It's kind of gross."

"Not for them," Jordan said. "Watch her. Can you see how much she's enjoying it? Ultimately, the only difference between what she's doing and what you do when you take me in your mouth is size."

"Maybe," she conceded reluctantly.

"If my clitoris were bigger, would you still suck on it?"

Sarah imagined it and a bolt of passion made her shiver. "Yes."

"And if it were that big?"

Sarah took a deep breath and let it go. "You've made your point."

Jordan rubbed Sarah's back in long strokes. "You're right though. It is kind of revolting."

Having Jordan agree with her after making her look at it differently made her laugh. "Why didn't you just say that at the beginning?"

Jordan just shrugged and ran a hand over Sarah's long hair. "I'm thirsty. Go get me one of those iced teas. Berry."

Sarah was halfway to the refrigerator before she realized that she had followed an order. Not a request-an order. Oh, well. She was already doing it. To refuse now seemed pointless, especially since she would have done it anyway. Closing the refrigerator, Sarah twisted the cap off and tossed it in the trash.

"Hi."

She turned to find one of the straight women standing behind her wearing nothing but a smile. Sarah forced herself not to look down. "Hi."

"My name is Leslie."

There was a delicate chain suspended from the woman's nipples and Sarah was dying to look closer. "Sarah."

"First time?"

She glanced at Jordan and saw her nod with approval. "Um . . . yeah."

"Let me be the first to say welcome."

"Thanks."

Leslie moved to the coffee machine and poured a cup. "You're with Master Crisp?"

"Yes." What did one say to a naked woman with chains on her nipples? "Who are you with?"

Leslie pointed discretely to a man of slender build. "That's my husband, Phil."

"Oh." She swallowed hard. "Um . . . I should take this back to . . . my Master."

Leslie smiled. "Of course. It was nice to meet you. Maybe we can talk later. If your Master will allow it."

"Um . . . sure." It took everything she had not to run back to Jordan's side. It was ridiculous to be frightened by a friendly face, but she couldn't help it. Jordan merely circled her with one arm and took a long drink of the iced tea. Sarah desperately wanted to be casual about everything. Jordan was acting no different than always when there were guests in the house, but Sarah couldn't be that indifferent. In fact, she could feel the screaming meemies breathing down the back of her neck. Not since the very first time she had entered the dungeon had she experienced a reaction like this.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I mean, what the hell am I doing here? Playing here with Jordan was magical, but this . . . it's too . . . real. I like the dungeon and I like cleaning it, but these people . . . I don't belong here. I'm not like them. What I do with Jordan is private and special. I could never do it here in front of these people.

Sarah looked over at the straight couple. The woman was on her hands and knees now and the man was penetrating her from behind. Jordan had fingered her in that position a number of times and it had been beautiful. Nothing like what she was seeing now. Is that how she and Jordan looked when they did it? Did it look so cheap and tawdry? It couldn't possibly. It was magic when Jordan was touching her. It was about passion and emotion building to impossible heights, not this rutting, animal display. She looked away.

The gay male couple was talking to the other lesbian couple. Sarah realized how much more normal gay couples looked to her than straight couples. It wasn't a thing she had ever been aware of before. The two women were in their thirties. The taller one was slender and athletic, seemingly of Native American or Hispanic descent. The other was softer and rounder with a warm smile. The two men were fit and handsome and could almost be taken for brothers except for the way they touched each other. Both were wearing leather harnesses made out of straps and buckles on their torsos and one was idly playing with his partner's nipple ring as they chatted.

The idea of having a needle put through her nipple was unpleasant, but Sarah had to admit to a certain curiosity about how it would feel to have Jordan playing with her nipple like that. It was easy to imagine Jordan leading her around by such an ornament. In fact, it was rather exciting to think about. She wondered if Jordan had been the one to give him the piercing.

The man with his genitals on a leash was licking his Mistress's knee-high vinyl boots while she talked with another man. A woman knelt at that man's feet with her eyes on the floor. The dynamics of it all were so strange. Of course, she had read about this sort of thing and had an intellectual understanding of what was going on, but she didn't really comprehend it on an emotional level.

Sarah looked around and saw a man arranging a woman on a spanking stool. He was talking quietly to her as he secured her wrists and ankles with padded straps. Sarah jumped when he swatted her ass with his hand.

"She wants it," Jordan said quietly.

Sarah realized she was clutching Jordan tightly and tried to relax.

"Come on," Jordan urged gently. "Let's sit down and watch. We can talk quietly while it's happening."

Sarah's knees were rubbery as they moved a little closer and Jordan sat down in an easy chair. She let herself be pulled into Jordan's lap, grateful for the comfort and safety she found there. "What's he going to do?" she asked in a whisper.

"Whatever she wants him to do," Jordan answered.

Looking up into her lover's face, she saw that Jordan was completely at ease. "Whatever she wants," Sarah murmured to herself.

"That's right, baby. There's nothing to be afraid of here. He's not angry with her. You can see it in his face. And look at her. She's smiling."

They were seated about fifteen feet from the couple, and it was true. The woman was smiling, and the man did not look at all angry. "What are their names?"

"Richard and Dana."

"Are they married?"

"No. They're not even a couple in real life. They play with different people and switch roles frequently. They play well together. Just remember that they talked about this scene before tonight. Both of them are doing exactly what they want. When she's had enough, she'll use the dungeon safe word and he'll stop."

The next half hour was fascinating to Sarah. With Jordan's whispered commentary in her ear, she relaxed and just absorbed what she was seeing. Richard stopped frequently to caress Dana and talk to her about how she was feeling, but by the time Dana used the safe word, her buttocks and thighs were a bright, angry red. Dana had been crying for some time, but when Richard released her, she was laughing. The two of them moved off to a sofa where Richard lovingly held Dana in his arms, their words soft and accompanied by smiles.

"How are you doing?"

Sarah closed her eyes at the soft caress of Jordan's hand in her hair. "I think I'm okay."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Snuggling deeper into Jordan's arms, she sighed. "Later, I think. Could you just hold me for a while?"

"For as long as you want, little one."

~***~

The low buzz of conversation slowly pulled Sarah from slumber. At first, the words were indistinct, but they slowly began to make sense to her.

"...Too much power for one person to have over another. Unless, of course, that is the nature of your relationship."

"At this point, power is not a fundamental part of our relationship."

Sarah almost hummed with pleasure at the sound of Jordan's voice above her. She could almost feel the vibrations of Jordan's speech through the thick vest she wore. It made her feel safe and cherished.

"On the contrary," the man's voice insisted without rancor. "Whether you admit to it or not, power is at the core of your relationship. Regardless of whether you are using it or not, you have control over her most basic needs: food and shelter. Knowing that, how can you be sure that her participation in your relationship is truly consensual? Giving her the information to make informed choices and having the patience to let her find her own desires and limits is not enough, Jordan. As long as you are the boss, she is not free to consent."

"She is free to choose," Jordan said. "I swore to her that nothing that happens between us will affect her home or position on my staff. I keep my word."

"I know you do, Jordan, but promises of freedom mean nothing to the trapped and enslaved."

All of a sudden, Sarah understood that they were discussing her. The man seemed to be suggesting that she was not capable of self-determination. He was saying that Jordan was not honorable. Her eyes popped open, and she started to sit up.

Jordan felt her move and smiled down at her. "Hello, little one."

Sarah put an arm around Jordan's shoulders and looked around. The two gay men from the party were sitting on a loveseat close by. Everyone else seemed to have left. The music was down low, and the lights were up. She looked straight into the eyes of the one who was sitting forward with his elbows on his knees. "I am not a slave and I am not trapped. Jordan does not control me, nor would he ever take advantage of his authority. You do not know him at all if you think he would. Besides which, I fail to see how our relationship is any of your business. Where do you get off passing judgements like that?"

He was grinning, and Jordan was chuckling. Sarah turned her head to stare at her lover. "This isn't funny, Jordan. I heard what he said about you. About us."

"It's okay, baby."

"No, it's not." Gentle fingers lay over her lips and Sarah bit off her next words.

"Greg is not attacking me," Jordan explained. "He is looking out for you. Part of the responsibility of being dominant is watching out for submissives. We watch to make sure no one is being used or abused or manipulated."

"But you're not..."

"I know that, and you know that," Jordan interrupted. "But Greg does have a point. One we need to discuss sooner rather than later. I have too much power over your life."

Sarah shook her head. "Not since you put Pete in charge of me."

Jordan winced. "I never did that."

This surprised her. "Why not?"

"Oh, at least ten valid, if not very convincing, reasons come to mind. I think I just didn't want anything to change, and I was concerned with how Pete would feel about it. He thinks the moon rises and sets on you."

Sarah took a deep breath and considered it. "It doesn't matter to me. If I thought you were the kind of person who would use your position to force me into things I don't want, I wouldn't be with you. I trust you."

"Trust may not be enough if feelings get hurt."

Sarah swiveled her eyes to Greg with a glare at his comment. "What do you want?"

He blinked once as if surprised and then cocked his head, his brown eyes intent on her. "I'd just like the two of you to talk all of this out. Make sure the power dynamic is fair and equitable for you both. You can choose to give up as much power as you like into Jordan's keeping, but only if you actually have that power to begin with."

Sarah still didn't like the fact that he felt he had the right to say such things, but even Jordan had been saying that they needed to talk. If she was honest with herself, she was afraid of the talk they needed to have. She didn't want things to change. Things were good. They might not stay good if they made changes.

Gregg patted the leg of the man next to him. "We should get going. Thanks for another great party, Jordan."

Sarah made as if to get up, but Jordan's arm tightened around her waist until she relaxed. She forced smiles at the two departing men, listening as Jordan charged them with making sure everyone else really was gone. Soon enough they were alone. Sarah kept her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"Don't be," Jordan said quietly. "I think this has been the best time I've ever had at one of my parties. I loved it."

Sarah sighed and rested her head on Jordan's shoulder. "You're too easy. I fell asleep on you and you say it's the best time you've ever had."

"It was."

She sighed again. "I don't want things to change, Jordan. I like things the way they are now."

"Are you happy?"

She nodded and closed her eyes.

Jordan stretched her legs out and resettled Sarah on her lap. "I'm happy, too. Happier than I ever thought I could be. But I worry."

"About what?"

"What your plans are after you graduate. Whether you will stay or go."

Sarah's eyes opened, but she stayed where she was. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be happy."

Biting at her lip, she thought about it. "That's a cop out."

"I know, but it's true."

Sitting up, she shifted so she could comfortably look into Jordan's face for the truth. "What do you want for you, Jordan?"

"Honestly? I want you to stay with me forever."

Forever. She swallowed against the doubts and fears that assailed her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am." Jordan's face was clear of any subterfuge.

"You make it sound so simple."

Jordan nodded thoughtfully. "Nothing is ever easy until after the fact. I don't think we will have a happily-ever-after life, little one. I think that sometimes it will be damn hard. But I think, in the end, growing and evolving with you is what I want to do with the rest of my life. The question is, is that what you want to do with your life? I know that you are not ready to answer that question and that's okay. I can wait for an answer. Even if it turns out to be the answer I would not choose for me. You are not obligated to give me what I want."

"I know that, but..." She paused helplessly.

"It's okay, little one. Don't worry about it. This is not an answer you can rush. Let it go for now. When the time comes, do what is right for you. As long as it's what you want and it makes you happy, I will be happy for you. Truly."

Sarah put a hand to the rugged face as tenderness washed through her. "How can you be so completely sweet and understanding?"

"You make it easy, little one."

Petting the side of Jordan's face, Sarah held back tears at how lucky she felt. Never, in any fantasy she had ever entertained, had she thought she would be with someone like Jordan. It was just the most amazing feeling.

"I think we should talk about your position as employee," Jordan said gently.

Sarah sighed and let her hands fall to the broad shoulders. "Jordan...I really like cleaning the dungeon."

"I think I know that, love."

"It's more like a hobby than a job," Sarah added. "I would do it even if you weren't paying me. It's not like I need your money. I make so much in tips...you don't even know. And now that my settlement is coming through for the accident, I really don't need a salary anymore. What if I cleaned the dungeon in exchange for rent and tips only? Would that equalize the power dynamic for the other tops? I don't want them challenging how we are with each other. I don't care what you say, it's none of their business."

Jordan nodded thoughtfully. "How we feel about each other is none of their business, but I appreciate that they are looking out for us. I don't mind a bit of challenge. I think I need it sometimes to keep me honest about my actions and motives." Her eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath. "What you say about your finances and wanting to clean the dungeon makes sense to me and I believe you, but does your plan balance the power dynamic between us? Will it make you feel like you are my equal?"

Sarah couldn't help a little snort of amusement. "Equals? We will never be equals, Jordan."

A look of pain flickered across Jordan's rugged face. "If that is true," she said quietly, "then we have a serious problem."

The statement felt ominous and ignited a swarm of bees in Sarah's belly. "I just meant that I'm probably never going to be as rich and as influential as you are. There's always going to be an imbalance in our relationship because of that."

Jordan hesitated and then sighed. "It's more than that, isn't it? You still see me in terms of age, wealth and accomplishment."

The conversation was starting to scare Sarah, but she had to be honest. Placing a hand over Jordan's heart, she spoke slowly. "It's not what you are, Jordan. It's what I'm not. I am never going to be your equal. Can't you see that?"

"No."

She could see the truth in Jordan's clear eyes. The older woman really meant that. Sarah slid off her lap with a sigh of frustration and folded her arms. "I just don't understand how you cannot see the disparity between us. We are so different."

"I see that just fine," Jordan said firmly. "I am well aware of how different we are in so many ways. It's one of the things I love most about being with you. What I didn't understand was how very different our values are."

That caught Sarah up short. "What do you mean?"

Jordan rose to her feet. She looked down at Sarah as if from a vast distance. "When I look at you, I see the sharpness of your intellect, the goodness of your heart and the strength of your soul. You look at me and see my house, my money and my position. We are not equal because you can't see me. If you could, you would know that the lack of equality you perceive lies within me. Not within you. You are the better woman, Sarah, in every way that matters. Until you can see past the material trappings of my life and see yourself as you truly are, we have no hope for a future."

Shocked to her core, Sarah could only stand helplessly as Jordan turned and left the dungeon. Long minutes passed as she struggled to understand what had just happened. Then she began to get angry. Was Jordan being deliberately obtuse? Jordan's wealth and position were real. They were not Sarah's imagination.

It was all so confusing. Even if they had the same money, position and life experience, they would still not be equals. Jordan would still be who she was. She was a dominant personality, and nothing would change that. She had a presence and authority that Sarah would never have. Even if everything else between them was balanced, there was still that fact. If someone wasn't seeing themselves clearly, it was Jordan.

Knowing that she was too angry and confused to face Jordan just yet, Sarah began to clean.

~***~

Sarah woke up to a large hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Pete's face above her and smiled. "Hey. Welcome back. How was your honeymoon?"

Pete held out a steaming mug. "Coffee?"

"Oh yeah," she said as she stretched. After cleaning, she had still been uncertain about seeing Jordan, so she had curled up on one of the dungeon sofas with a blanket. It had not been as comfortable as her own bed-or Jordan's for that matter-but it had been comfortable enough. She sat up and reached for the coffee cup. "What time is it?"

"Twenty after eight."

She had plenty of time to get ready for school. Sarah sipped at the fragrant brew and looked more closely at Pete. He did not look happy. "What's wrong?"

"What is going on between you and Mr. Crisp?"

Uh oh. "I'm not sure I know what you are asking," she hedged. Sarah wouldn't have thought it was possible considering his complexion, but Pete's face darkened.

"What is the nature of your relationship with our employer?" he enunciated clearly.

Fear curled around her tongue and all she could do was stare at the big man.

"What has he done?"

Sarah shook her head in denial. "Nothing. I mean...he didn't..."

Pete took a deep breath and his eyes softened. "If he has manipulated you into some sort of..." He took another breath and started over. "Whatever is going on, it's not your fault. I can help you get a lawyer, and you can..."

Sarah sat forward and put a hand on Pete's arm. "No, Pete. It's not like that. Really."

He looked at her intently. "Tell me what's happening. I can help you."

Sarah used one hand to rub her eyes. This was getting out of hand. Damn Jordan for not handling this when she said she would! Settling the blanket around her bare legs, she considered where to start. "Jordan and I have been dating since New Year's. I have not been coerced or manipulated into anything. Jordan has been very careful not to pressure me in any way."

Pete sat back in his chair, his eyes staying focused on her. "I thought you were gay."

Sarah hid a sigh. "I am. I guess...maybe I just found the right guy."

Dark brown eyes roamed over Sarah. "And you are dressed like that and sleeping in the dungeon because...?"

A blush of epic proportions flashed to the surface of most of Sarah's body and she had to look away. "I wanted to see a party," she mumbled.

"You wanted to see one, or Jordan wanted you there?"

Sarah's head popped up in irritation. "Why are you so quick to believe that Jordan is the bad guy? You've got Jordan forcing me into sex and dragging me to BDSM parties. What has he ever done to make you think he would do that? Or is it that you think I'm incapable of making my own decisions in these matters? Do you really think I'm that helpless? Damn, Pete, I could use a little respect here. I know I'm young, but I'm not a child. Nothing has happened that I haven't wanted and asked for."

"Are you sure?"

He looked so doubtful that all Sarah could do for a long moment was gape at him. "Yes, I'm sure. I can't believe you even feel the need to ask."

Pete rubbed the top of his head with one meaty hand. "He's older and more experienced than you are, Sarah. That's not a judgment on you. It's just a fact. He could be manipulating you and you might not even be aware of it. If that's the case, I'm here to help you."

Sarah buried her face in her hands. "I can't believe this is happening."

"Sarah..."

"Stop," she interrupted with her hands held out between them. "Just stop." Brushing her hair back, she took a deep breath and looked into the big man's face. "There is no reason or need for you to be so quick to defend me. Though, I do appreciate it. You are not the only one trying to look out for me. What's happening between Jordan and me is safe and consensual. If you want to talk to Jordan about it, go right ahead, but I can't do this right now. I just woke up and I'm feeling kind of ambushed. And, maybe, a little frustrated. I need some time to think, okay?"

He nodded once. "Alright then. But my door is open if you want to talk."

"Thank you, Pete." She took another deep breath and reached for her coffee. "Thanks for waking me up with coffee."

"You're welcome," he said with a hint of a smile.

Taking a sip of the hot brew, Sarah studied his face. "So, how was the honeymoon?"

"Too short."

She had to grin. "I'll bet. But it's nice to have you back. I know Jordan missed you."

Pete snorted. "I'll spend the rest of the week fixing the mess he made of my system."

"I bet you won't." At his raised eyebrows, she added, "I helped out a bit."

He looked pleased and surprised. "Thank you, Sarah."

"No problem," she said with a shrug. Gathering the blanket around her waist, she stood up. "Well, I need to get my clothes and start thinking about getting ready for school."

His smile faded, but his eyes were gentle. "Have a good day."

"Thanks. You, too."

The housekeepers hadn't started their shift yet, so Sarah was able to get to Jordan's office without being observed. Once downstairs, she left the blanket in a pile by the door and went into Jordan's apartment. The lights were on and it was quiet. She found Jordan lying across the king size bed still fully dressed. Part of her longed to lay down with her lover and make all the confusion go away in her arms. Another part wanted to smother the tall woman with a pillow. Neither option seemed very practical.

Sarah reached for one edge of the comforter and began to pull it over the long form.

"I was wrong."

She stopped at Jordan's rough voice. "What?"

"I was wrong," Jordan repeated. "I think you do see me. I think you have some valid concerns."

Sarah dropped the comforter and moved to sit next to Jordan. Putting one hand on a long leather-clad leg, she let herself relax. Just being near Jordan calmed her. "I'm not sure if I can get past them and that scares me."

"It scares me, too."

Sighing, Sarah turned to lay on her side and draped an arm over Jordan's back. "I wish I could see myself the way you seem to. The person you see seems so much more confident and mature than I feel. I feel so...inadequate."

Jordan turned her head and their eyes met. "I never feel that about you, little one. Not ever."

It was clear to Sarah that Jordan had not slept. She looked haggard. Reaching up with one hand, she caressed the rugged face gently. Several things began to make sense all at once and Sarah took a moment to sort through them. "You know, it's really not about your money or your success. I mean, those are easy things to point to, but I think those are just smoke screens."

A little bit of life filtered back into Jordan's eyes. "How so?"

"I'm not real sure yet," Sarah said slowly. "I think it's still unclear for me. Maybe...I think it's really about feeling like equals. Because I don't think we are, and I don't think we ever will be."

Sarah tried not to take the flicker of pain in Jordan's gaze personally. She focused on what her thoughts were trying to puzzle out. "Being equal doesn't mean being the same, does it?"

"No."

"Then...what does it mean?"

Jordan looked thoughtful. "That's a good question. What does it mean to you?"

"I'm not sure." Sarah's mind was moving quickly now, sorting and rearranging. "I suppose...it's the power and freedom to make choices."

"How equal do you think we are based on that definition?"

Sarah smiled at her lover. "Okay, so we're equals."

Jordan slowly rose up and shifted to her side so she could lean on an elbow. "Do you really believe that? It's very important to me that you truly know that we are equal."

Sarah rolled to her back and laced her fingers behind her head. "I need to think about it some more, but yeah."

Jordan nodded. "I think," she said very slowly, "that the reservations you have about us and our relationship revolve around self-worth. It's not about money, or power, or experience, or age. It's that you don't feel worthy of being loved."

Tears flooded Sarah's eyes and her throat tightened. Jordan was right. She started to turn her eyes away, but a gentle hand cupped her face. She had no choice but to look into Jordan's eyes.

"I'm going to say something that will sound presumptuous and arrogant, but it's not. It's something I want you to think about. Will you do that?"

Biting her lip to keep from crying, Sarah nodded.

Jordan's gaze intensified. "You are not the one who gets to decide whether or not you are worthy of my love."

It took a few seconds for that statement to register. Sarah turned her eyes to stare at the ceiling while she thought about it. The statement was almost shocking to her in its accuracy. Jordan was the only one who could decide if Sarah was right for her. Just like Sarah was the only one who could make that decision about Jordan's suitability. "Wow."

"Wow?"

Sarah glanced at the woman above her and almost laughed at the quirky grin she found. "Wow pretty much covers it."

Jordan sighed dramatically. "Good. It took me all night to come up with that little nugget of wisdom."

Sarah laughed as she wiped the pent-up tears from her eyes. "You're such a goof."

"I know."

Sarah reached up to lay her hand along her lover's cheek. "I love that about you."

Jordan's smile was brilliant. "I love you, too."

Their lips came together in a gentle, loving caress and Sarah wound her arms around Jordan, pulling her down into a tight embrace. "Are we okay?"

"Yes, little one. There are still things we need to talk about, but we're okay."

Sarah let herself float in the safety of the moment, but then she remembered Pete. She pushed Jordan back far enough that she could see into her eyes. "You need to talk to Pete. He knows about us."

Jordan frowned.

"He woke me up with coffee and an offer to help me get away from you. He was under the impression that you were manipulating me into everything."

Jordan growled and rolled away. She stood up and walked into the bathroom, only to come right back out. "What did you say?"

Sarah sat up. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't understand why he would automatically assume the worst about you. I thought the two of you were pretty friendly."

Hands on hips, Jordan stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, the muscles in her jaw clenching. "How did he find out?"

Sarah left the bed and went to put her arms around Jordan. "I didn't think to ask. Maybe someone from the reception said something to him." It took a few moments, but Jordan began to relax. "I don't care if he knows, but it bothers me that he thought you might be the kind of person who would force me to do what you want. We need to work on your reputation."

Jordan chuckled as her arms surrounded Sarah. "I'll put it on my to-do list." She pulled back a little to smile down at Sarah. "Now, don't you have school today?"

Sarah groaned. "Don't remind me."

~***~

Sarah was trying to study in the university library when several things suddenly came together in her mind. Jordan is my Top! Not just when we played in the dungeon. I think I see her as my Top all the time. Maybe that's why I don't feel like we really are equals.

She sat back in her chair; her studies forgotten as she mulled it over. I think I want her to be the dominant one. I know I sometimes feel a little frustrated at how cautious she is about making sure that I feel I have control. So far, I've always been excited when she steps up and takes over. Like the first time we made love. We didn't discuss it first and it didn't just happen because we lost control. Jordan just decided for us and basically told me how it was going to be. I really liked that. It made me feel...free. Is that right? Did it free me somehow? Maybe.

The question now is: how much control do I want her to have? I know she's getting mixed messages about that. I don't feel like I am being inconsistent or confusing, but if she's not sure, I must be. Do I want to be her slave?

Sarah couldn't help a shiver of revulsion. Why does it have to be such a loaded word? Slavery is wrong. I can feel that in my bones. I know, I know...it's not really slavery because I have a choice about doing it and I can end it whenever I want, but I just really hate that word. Let's try submissive. Do I want to be Jordan's submissive? I already bottom for her in the dungeon. Being her submissive just takes the role out of the dungeon and makes it a more intrinsic part of our relationship. But if we do that, I come right back to the question of the hour. How much control do I want her to have? How much control over my life do I want to give up?

There was no easy answer. There was so much in the BDSM lifestyle that she just didn't know and hadn't experienced. How could she make a decision like that when she didn't really know what she would be getting into?

Sarah was almost late to her next class and, afterwards, she couldn't remember anything that had been covered. Fortunately, she was still recording her lectures. This was definitely one she would have to listen to later.

The evening drive was uneventful, and Sarah was glad to get home. Once inside her house, she dropped everything by the door and took a deep breath. Jordan was not on the couch waiting for her, but there were boots under the coffee table. Sarah stepped over to the bedroom door and found Jordan sleeping in her bed. Folding her arms, she leaned against the door jamb and just looked.

I love that woman.

The intensity of the feeling brought tears to her eyes.

I love Jordan Crisp. Whether I am good enough for her or not, I love her. I think I always have. Why is it so hard for me to tell her that? It can't be that I fear rejection. Jordan has been offering me her heart without hesitation for months. That can't have been easy. Do I think she will stop loving me? No, I don't think that. And I can't see her becoming apathetic towards me. Maybe my fear is just an old habit. A habit I should work on kicking.

Sarah locked the front door and turned the heat up a few degrees. Stripping off her clothes, she crawled into bed and snuggled up to her deliciously warm lover.

Jordan's eyes didn't open, but a big smile broke out on her face as she pulled Sarah closer. "You're home."

Sarah hummed her pleasure in response.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Sarah answered. "Go back to sleep, sweetie."

It was dinner time when they woke up. Sarah put her arms over her head and savored a full body stretch. Relaxing, she turned to look at Jordan. "Why are you smiling like that?"

Jordan shrugged with one shoulder. "You're just so damn beautiful."

Sarah blushed, but she loved hearing it. "You're just too charming for your own good."

The tall woman looked pleased. "I know. It should be illegal to be me."

Sarah chuckled. "How did it go with Pete? Did you talk to him?"

Jordan fell back on the bed with a groan. "Yeah, I did."

Concerned, Sarah leaned on an elbow so she could see Jordan's face. "Was it bad?"

"Not bad, really. Just complicated, I guess."

Sarah moved closer and put a hand in the valley between Jordan's breasts. "Are you alright?"

Jordan took a deep breath and lay a hand over Sarah's. "Yeah. I should have confided in him a long time ago. Aside from his concern for you, he was most upset that I have been hiding my gender from him all this time."

Sarah's eyes opened wide. "You told him?"

Jordan snorted a laugh. "He didn't believe me. I had to show him."

"What?"

Jordan mimed pulling a shirt open with a grin. "Yep. I had to show him the goods before he would listen. For a couple of minutes there, he was white. Or blind. I'm not real sure which."

Sarah wasn't sure whether to be upset or laugh. The idea of Jordan flashing her breasts at Pete made her feel a little crazy. "Why would he think you would lie about something like that?"

"I lied about being a man. Why wouldn't he think I was lying?"

It was an excellent point. One for which Sarah didn't have a comeback.

"Anyway, I think things are okay between us now. At least in regard to my gender. He's reserving judgement on my involvement with you." Jordan laughed softly. "I have been told in no uncertain terms that if I hurt you or break your heart, my heart will be torn out of my chest and shoved up my ass."

Sarah was horrified. "He actually said that to you?"

"Oh yeah." Jordan reached up to fluff the pillow behind her head. "If your parents weren't such jerks, I'd expect that little speech from your dad. I'm glad Pete has decided to become your champion. You couldn't have a better one."

Sarah had mixed feelings about that. "I'm not convinced that I need a champion, but if I do, I kind of thought it would be you."

"You do have me, baby. You do. But Pete will be a different kind of champion than I can be. I'm completely involved with you on an emotional level. Pete cares about you deeply, but he can be more objective. Maggie is your champion, too, and she will provide you things that the rest of us can't."

"Do you think I need champions?"

"We all need champions, little one. Not at every moment, of course, but it's always good to have people who will go to the wall for you when the shit hits the fan." Jordan cocked her head. "You've never had that. It will probably take some getting used to."

"Do you have champions?"

"Oh yeah. You, Maggie and Pete are the main ones, but there are a handful of players that would back me up in a heartbeat. Stephen would, too. He's my financial guy."

"The friend from college?"

Jordan nodded. "He's coming up in May for a week or so. You'll get to meet him then. You'll like him."

Sarah didn't really care one way or the other about Stephen, but she filed the information away. The phone rang as she opened her mouth to speak. Sarah sent an apology to Jordan with her eyes and reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Sarah. This is Amanda."

"Hi, Amanda. Or should I say Mrs. Bennett?"

Amanda's laugh was rich and full. Jordan pointed at the bathroom with a grimace and Sarah nodded. She watched as Jordan slipped out of bed and walked across the room. She has such a great ass.

"Amanda will do fine. I am not yet accustomed to the name change."

"Okay," Sarah said as she lay back on the bed. "I saw Pete this morning. He said the honeymoon was too short."

"Yes, I heard you had talked. I also heard that Jordan came out as a woman."

Sarah sighed. "I didn't know she was going to do that. I guess Pete was a little hard on her."

"Understandable, but in his defense, he is also quick to forgive. He will need some time to adjust, but he'll come around. He likes Jordan a great deal. He doesn't want to lose that friendship."

"That's good to know." Sarah wiggled her eyebrows at Jordan as she came back and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I am calling to ask if you would like to have lunch this week."

"Sure. That would be great. When?"

"I don't start back to work until next week, so we can get together any time that is convenient for you."

"Well, tomorrow is my short day," Sarah offered. "I've only got one class and it's over at noon. I can meet you somewhere at 12:30?"

"Perfect. Do you like Mexican food?"

"Yes."

"There's a little place called Compadres on the corner of Ninth and Baxter. Will that work for you?"

"I'll be there."

"Very good. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay."

Sarah hung up the phone and smiled at Jordan. "I have a date."

"With a married woman."

"It's still a date," she teased.

Jordan rolled her eyes. "Right. If she put the moves on you, you'd faint."

"Probably," Sarah laughed.

"I would, too," Jordan admitted with a grin.

It seemed weird that they were both talking about Amanda that way. "I am attracted to her. I mean, who wouldn't be, but I don't really want her."

"I know, baby. I feel the same way. She has an extraordinary sensual magnetism about her, but it's so strong that it almost acts as a barrier to keep people away. I've met a few other people like that and they are usually very lonely. It's a lot like people of exceptional beauty who have a hard time finding someone who will see past the surface and see the beauty underneath. I'm very glad that she and Pete found each other."

"Me, too. I think they'll be one of those couples that stays together forever."

"I hope so." Jordan smiled. "I should probably get going so you can study."

Sarah shook her head before she had time to consider it.

"Or I can stay."

Feeling suddenly vulnerable, Sarah sat up and put her arms around Jordan's neck for a tight hug. Jordan immediately wrapped Sarah up in long arms.

"It's okay, little one. I've got you. It's okay."

They sat that way for a long time. Sarah wanted to talk, but she just didn't know where to start. Especially now that she had made such a dramatic gesture of emotional instability. She finally settled on, "I'm sorry."

"For what, little one?"

Sarah's grip lightened, and she sighed. "I just wanted to talk and now I've made it all dramatic."

Jordan shook her head. "This isn't dramatic, baby, and I think it's an excellent start for a conversation. What's on your mind?"

Sarah sighed again. "It's just that I spent all day thinking about what we talked about this morning and I came to some more conclusions. Some of them are kind of confusing."

"Okay," Jordan said easily. "Let's get more comfortable."

They ended up side-by-side on the bed, legs intertwined and facing each other. Sarah stared at the base of Jordan's throat until a large hand tilted her head up and their eyes met.

"It's just me, baby, and I love you desperately. You can tell me anything and I'll listen."

Sarah knew she had to start somewhere so she blurted out the realization that had started it all. "You're my Top."

"I know."

"No. I mean...you're my Top."

Jordan's eyes narrowed in concentration. "I understand what you're saying, but I'm not sure what you mean."

Sarah bit her lip as she tried to think of a way to explain. "I don't know how to verbalize what that means. It feels so profound to me. So important. You're my Top."

"Okay," Jordan said slowly. "What does Top mean to you? What is a Top?"

"The one in control. The one with the power."

"So, when you say that I am your Top, you are saying that I am the one who has the control and power in our relationship?"

Sarah opened her mouth to say yes and then realized that there was more to it. "No. I think I'm saying that I choose for you to have the control and power. I think that I'm your submissive."

A slow smile spread over Jordan's face. "I think it should be obvious that I am very happy with that choice. But how do you feel about it?"

"I'm a little confused about it. I don't remember making a choice to be your submissive. I just sort of realized that I am. But I'm not sure what it means to be your submissive. How will things change?"

"First, let's figure out what you think it means to be a submissive. Do you think you have to act differently?"

Sarah bit her lip again. "Yes?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Not really."

"Okay. The way I see it, if you already feel like you’re my sub, then you are. I don't see any need for you to learn a new way to act submissive. Maybe what you need to figure out is how you want to express your submission. We also need to figure out how you want me to express my dominance. That might actually be easier for you to define."

Sarah frowned. "See, it feels like you are making it all about what I want. Again. When are you going to tell me what you want? And please don't say you just want me to be happy. I feel like I'm flying blind here and I need some help."

"I have to worry about riding rough-shod over your needs and desires, little one. It is in the nature of dominants to be too aggressive and demanding. The line between dominance and emotional abuse is all but invisible."

"I accept that," Sarah said patiently, "but maybe you could be just a little more aggressive and demanding? It's like the play lists. It wasn't until I read yours that I started to get an idea of what I really wanted. Maybe I need to hear what you want before I can open up to what I want. You can trust me to be honest, you know."

Jordan smiled. "I do know. But let me ask you some questions first to clarify things. What I'm hearing is that you would like the Dominant/submissive aspect of our relationship to be more inclusive than limited to playing in the dungeon. Is that correct?"

It felt like a huge step to admit it. Sarah swallowed her butterflies and nodded.

"All right. I am also hearing that you want me to take more control in our interactions. Is that correct?"

Arousal began to burn within Sarah. "Yes," she whispered.

"And our love-making? Do you want that to change?"

"Not change," Sarah said slowly.

"But...?"

"I still want to be able to make love to you, but sometimes...maybe you could be more..."

"Like in the dungeon?"

Sarah nodded. "But I'm not at all unhappy with us...with the way we..."

"I understand," Jordan interrupted.

"Do you? I'm not hurting your feelings?"

"Are you kidding?" Jordan took one of Sarah's hands and lay it over her heart. "Do you feel that?"

Not only was Jordan's heart racing at an unbelievable pace, but it was also pounding really hard. Sarah looked at her hand in disbelief and then up into Jordan's blue eyes. "You need to calm down before something explodes."

Jordan burst out laughing. Sarah was too concerned to join in. She kept her hand on the beating organ while Jordan howled. It began to slow, and she started to relax. When Jordan was almost in control, she said, "This is very exciting for you."

"You could say that" Jordan said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Is it exciting for you?"

Sarah grinned shyly. "Yeah."

"Good." Jordan took a deep breath and let it out noisily. "I really needed that. Thank you."

"You're welcome, I guess."

"Whew!" Jordan lifted Sarah's hand and kissed it before putting it back on her chest. "Okay. What else was confusing you today?"

Sarah snuggled back into the tall woman's side and lay her head on a strong shoulder. "I spent a lot of time today trying to figure out how much control I want you to have."

"What did you decide?"

"I don't know. I'm having a hard time figuring out how it's possible to be independent and submissive at the same time. Some of the books I read said that the best submissives are really strong and independent people. That just doesn't make any sense to me."

"Weak, dependent personalities require nurturing, not dominating. It is the strong personalities that make domination rewarding. Imagine two dogs. One is growling at you and standing his ground. The other one is crawling on the ground pissing itself. Which one would you rather dominate? Personally, dominating the one that is crawling would just make me feel like an asshole. But, to work with the other one and watch it grow and change would be exhilarating. Not that I am comparing you to a dog, mind you."

The metaphor made sense to Sarah in a way that the books failed to do. "Do you think I need a lot of work?"

"No! I think you are perfect the way you are, baby. I'm excited about all of this, yes, but more because you want it than because I want it. I do not require this of you. Do you understand that?"

Sarah relaxed. "Yes. I think so. It's just that the way I see myself is changing. I'm really not sure what I'm getting myself into."

"Do you see this as something that is going to happen to you?"

Sarah thought it over. "I think I did. But that isn't right, is it?"

"No, baby. It's not. If it's happening to you, it's abuse. If it's something you are participating in with me, then it's D/s. Does that make sense?"

"Actually, it does. You should write a book. You make more sense than the stuff I read. I don't feel nearly as confused as I did. I still don't understand how all of this works, but I'm not as afraid of it."

"That's good, baby."

Sarah gathered her courage for what she would say next. "I want you to spank me."

There was a moment's hesitation. "Why?"

Sarah lifted her head so she could look at Jordan. "I don't know if I like it or not. It seems like I should know."

Jordan frowned and then relaxed. "No."

"What?"

"No. I won't spank you until the day you come to me and convince me that you need it in the same way that you need air to breathe."

"But...how will I know if I need it unless I know whether or not I like it?"

"It's not about whether or not you like it," Jordan said seriously. "It's about whether or not you need it. If you do, you'll know it."

"Oh."

"Trust me on this one, baby."

"Okay." Sarah lay her head back down. She felt a little disappointed, but she was relieved as well. The fact that she felt relief told her that Jordan was probably right.

Several minutes passed in comfortable silence and then Jordan spoke. "I will not interfere with your schooling or the time you need for study. I know how important it is to you. It's important to me as well."

"Thank you."

"You will make yourself available to dress me before every party. I enjoy that a great deal. On party nights, you will sleep in my room. I will sleep here on the other nights. Unless there is a good reason otherwise, you will attend the Sunday night parties with me. You will wear what I tell you to wear and do what I tell you to do during the party. Understood?"

Sarah shivered with excitement. "Yes."

Jordan's arms tightened. "I'm your Top, little one. You're mine now."

Sarah almost cried at the happiness she felt.

~***~

Amanda looked great. Sarah dropped down into the chair across from her with a big grin. "Hey."

Amanda looked up from her menu with a mysterious smile. "Hey yourself."

"Am I late?"

"Not at all. Thank you for taking time out of your day to spend with me."

Sarah made a face. "You don't have to thank me for this. I've been wanting to get to know you better."

Amanda's smile was amazing. "Likewise."

Sarah reached for a menu. "What's good here?"

"Everything. They've only been open for a few weeks. Six months from now you won't be able to get a table without a reservation."

"That good?"

"Better."

The next ten minutes were spent perusing the menu together and ordering their choices. When the waiter left, Sarah brushed her hair back with both hands and smiled at her lunch date. "I didn't get a chance before to tell you congratulations on your wedding. I loved the ceremony, and your dress was gorgeous."

"Thank you."

"I have some pretty good pictures from the reception. I've got them on a disc in my backpack. If you want them," she offered tentatively.

"I would love them. It's very sweet of you to offer them."

Sarah shrugged as she dug in her backpack for the disc. "It was fun to do. Mostly I took pictures of other people. It seemed like everyone was concentrating on you and Pete. Which totally makes sense, but I thought you might like pictures of the rest of the guests. I got one I really like of your dads." She found the disc and slid it across the table to Amanda.

"Thank you for this. And thank you for the windchimes. Did you have a chance to listen to them? They sound like rain."

"I thought so, too," Sarah said with some surprise.

"The metal ones can become annoying so quickly, but the ones you gave us are wonderful. I can't imagine ever getting tired of them."

"I'm really glad you liked them."

Amanda leaned forward with a lop-sided grin. "I understand congratulations are in order for you and Jordan as well."

Sarah blushed shyly. "Pete told you."

"I suspected at Halloween. I knew at New Year's."

Sarah laughed nervously. "Even I didn't know at New Year's."

"It can be difficult to see clearly in matters of the heart."

"Isn’t that the truth," Sarah sighed.

Amanda laughed softly. "In any case, I am happy for you both."

"Thanks."

"Did you really tell my husband that you found the right man?"

"I did," Sarah grinned.

"You are too funny."

"It was all I could think of without totally lying to him. By the way, how did he find out? Was it someone from the reception? We might have been a little obvious towards the end there."

"There's video," Amanda said with a wiggle of her elegant eyebrows.

"Oh God," Sarah groaned.

Laughing, Amanda leaned forward to pat Sarah's arm. "It's not bad, Sarah. In fact, the way you two move together is exquisite. Have you heard of Torvill and Dean?"

"No."

"They were British ice dancers in the eighties and nineties. My mother loved them. She has tapes of every televised performance they ever did. Not only were they brilliant technically, but the way they moved together was ethereal. I've never seen any other couple dance with the connection they had...until I watched you and Jordan ballroom dancing. It was beautiful."

The sincerity of Amanda's words was clear, and Sarah wasn't sure what to say. It felt beautiful to dance with Jordan, but she hadn't been aware that others could see it. Knowing made her feel a little like she was naked.

"Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"Jordan has been teaching me," Sarah said.

"I'm jealous. Not only that you can dance like that, but that the chances of Peter ever learning how to be that graceful are so slim."

Sarah had to grin. Pete was not an ungraceful man, but he would never have Jordan's agility of movement. "I'd pay good money to watch Jordan try to teach him."

Amanda threw her head back with a laugh. "So would I!"

There were complimentary chips and salsa on the table and Sarah reached for them. The chips were warm, and the salsa was delicious. "Wow," she said after swallowing. "This is really good."

Amanda followed suit. "You can buy the salsa to take home if you like."

"Oh, I like. Jordan will love this stuff." Amanda was grinning at her. "What?"

"You're just so adorable."

Sarah blushed.

"You do not seem to be quite the same woman you were at the Halloween party. You are more relaxed, more confident. It suits you."

Sarah sipped her ice water to give herself a moment to think. "I don't feel precisely the same. I'm happier for one."

"It's obvious."

"I'm not sure if I feel like that is a good thing or a bad thing."

"How could it be a bad thing?"

Sarah shrugged. "Being happier is a good thing but having my emotions so clear to other people makes me feel...vulnerable. I don't mind it with Jordan and Maggie. Or even with you. But with most people, I'm not sure I want them to see how I feel."

"That's understandable."

She remembered Lisa's vicious verbal attack with a shudder. "People can be really mean."

"True, but most of the time they aren't. I find that being happy and allowing it to show usually works to my advantage. People like being around those who are happy. Most of the time, people will go out of their way to contribute to the happiness they see in others. A smile, a courtesy; something small, yet still valuable. It is rare that happiness will spark a negative reaction. When it does, you are not obligated to participate. Just move on and let it go."

Sarah sighed. "I'll have to work on that."

"The more secure you are in your happiness, the easier it is."

She sighed again as that statement hit home. "That's a tough one for me."

"Feeling secure?"

"Yeah."

"It takes time."

"I can't even tell her that I love her," Sarah blurted out. "I feel it...Oh God, I feel it...but I can't make the words come out of my mouth. She tells me all the time, but I can't say it. Sometimes I feel like I will choke if I don't let the words out, but I just can't make myself do it. I feel like such a jerk."

The waiter chose that moment to return with their food. Sarah sat back quietly and let Amanda handle it. She felt foolish for dumping that information out there and wasn't sure how to recover.

It only took moments for the waiter to arrange the table and retreat. Embarrassed, Sarah couldn't look up into Amanda's eyes, but she could feel the dark eyes on her, waiting for her. The warm and spicy smell of her food gave Sarah something to talk about. "This smells so good."

Amanda chuckled softly and reached for the sour cream. "Yes, it does."

Simply put, it was the best Mexican food Sarah had ever eaten. Conversation took a back seat to their enjoyment of the meal. The portions were quite large, and Sarah was very nearly in danger of exploding when she finally cleared her plate. Leaning back in her seat, she groaned and rubbed her bloated belly. "Oh my God. I ate way too much. I think I need a nap."

Amanda mirrored Sarah's pose with a smile. "How about we go for a stroll to work some of this off?"

"I'm not sure I can. You might have to roll me out the door."

Ten minutes later, lunch was paid for and Sarah carried a large jar of salsa in one arm. They headed for Sarah's car to drop it off before beginning their walk.

"I always loved this car," Amanda said of the sleek Jaguar. "It's nice of Jordan to let you drive it."

"Oh, it's mine now," Sarah grinned. "Jordan sold it to me for a thousand dollars because Cirenio couldn't get the smell out."

Amanda's cultured eyebrows rose. "What smell?"

Sarah told the story while they walked and had a good laugh about it with Amanda. "I was a little surprised how much it cost to get it registered. Not to mention that my insurance went through the roof. I'm thinking about trading it in for something cheaper and more fuel efficient, but I'm not sure how Jordan will feel about it."

"Have you asked her?"

"Not yet. I think I should have an idea what I want to trade it for first. You know, have all my ducks in a row."

"And if she says no?"

Sarah hadn't considered that. She found herself feeling indignant about it and it hadn't even happened yet. "You're right," she said thoughtfully. "It's my car now. I should be able to do what I want with it."

"I'm sure you will," Amanda said smoothly. "Although, you are probably right to want to tell her first. I was just curious if you were asking permission."

"No," Sarah said quickly. "Well, maybe a little. I don't want to hurt her feelings. The Jag is a beautiful car. I just don't think it's an everyday kind of car for me. It makes me feel like I'm putting on airs."

"Heaven forbid."

Sarah laughed at the teasing tone. "It does! I'm just not the kind of person who can feel comfortable driving a fancy car all the time."

Amanda smiled, but she kept her eyes on the street. "One of the things I like so much about you is that in spite of your extraordinary beauty, you are real."

Sarah tripped over her feet and would have fallen flat on her face but for Amanda's quick grasp of her arm.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Sarah said with a blush as she got her balance back. Brushing her hair out of her eyes, she gave a tiny smile to her new friend. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Sarah fell back into step with Amanda. "Um, I'm not sure how to ask this without sounding like I am fishing for a compliment, but you really think I'm pretty?"

"No. I think you are the most beautiful white woman I've ever seen."

Sarah halted and stared at the dark woman in confusion. "Are you serious?"

Amanda stopped and turned to face Sarah. "Yes."

Shaking her head, Sarah sighed. "I don't see it. In fact, I've thought the same thing about you. Except for the white bit."

Amanda's smile brightened the entire street. "Thank you."

She had to smile at the pleasure in Amanda's face. "You're welcome."

Amanda released a short laugh and gestured at the street. "I wonder if they realize it."

Sarah looked at the few other people she could see. "Realize what?"

"The two most beautiful women in the world are passing by. They must feel so blessed."

Sarah laughed so hard she snorted. That made both of them laugh even harder. There was a wooden bench outside of a jewelry store and Sarah dropped onto it to catch her breath. Amanda sat down next to her and put an arm along the back of the bench. It was a few minutes before they could look at each other without laughing.

"So," Amanda began. "Tell me why you can't tell Jordan you love her."

Sarah sighed, but she did not lose her smile. "I don't know. I can feel the words on the tip of my tongue every time I look at her, but my throat closes up."

"Hmm."

"I did say it once by accident. I freaked out. It was horrible."

"Maybe you just care for her. It doesn't have to be love."

Sarah considered her feelings. "I guess that's possible, but my feelings...if it's not love, I can't imagine what it would feel like. And I don't have any problem telling you and Maggie that I love her. It's just that I can't say it to Jordan."

Amanda nodded, her eyes far away for a moment. "What does it mean to you?"

"Mean?" Sarah concentrated on trying to comprehend exactly what Amanda was asking her.

"If you were to tell her that you love her, what would telling her mean to you?"

"Ah," she breathed in understanding. She did not have a ready answer. Staring off across the street, yet not really seeing anything, Sarah let herself think about it. At first, nothing was coming clear. Then she tried visualizing saying the words to Jordan. Her eyes suddenly opened wide. "It's the commitment."

Amanda made a humming noise of understanding.

Sarah felt a bit as if she were in shock as things clarified for her. "It's not about whether or not I love her," she mused aloud. "Saying it is like a promise. I'm not sure I'm ready to make promises."

With a grimace for the predicament she found herself in, Sarah looked up at Amanda. "I had a plan. I'm almost done with school. It's time to start putting out feelers on a job that will teach me more about running a business. It could be anywhere. I'll work that job until I'm ready to work for myself. It will be years before I am ready to settle down; years before I can make a commitment to Jordan. She shouldn't have to wait that long, and it wouldn't be fair of me to ask her to."

"So, your relationship with Jordan is only temporary?"

Sarah gaped like a fish. When she realized it, she shut her mouth with a snap. Was that what she was doing with Jordan? Was it really only a temporary relationship? Not only did it feel wrong to think of what they had that way, just considering it made her feel like a jerk of the first order. "No," she said finally. "At least, I hope not."

"Then it sounds to me like you need a new plan."

"Just like that?" she asked doubtfully.

"Sure," Amanda said casually. "Why not? Wasn't the purpose of going to school in the first place to give yourself more choices? More options?"

"Well, yeah, but..."

Amanda turned towards Sarah just a bit and resettled. "It seems to me that you have quite a few options now. Yes, you could get a job somewhere else. Or you could focus on finding something local. From what I understand, your academic standing is quite high. If you were to look for something local, you could pick and choose. You won't be forced to consider a managerial position in the fast-food industry."

Sarah had to smile at the thought of that.

"There are many large and small businesses here. Any of them would fall all over themselves to get someone of your caliber. Moving away does not have to be a necessity in getting the experience you desire."

"That's true," Sarah conceded.

"Another consideration," Amanda continued, "is that you could continue your education. I have no doubt that Jordan would be thrilled to finance your education."

Sarah shook her head. "No. I don't want to use her like that."

"She may not consider it as being used."

"But I would."

Amanda nodded in concession. "In any case, my point is that your choices and options are not fixed in stone. Just because you had a plan does not mean that you cannot change that plan and still achieve your original goals. Getting to this point may have required a certain amount of inflexibility, but everything is different now. You got where you needed to be in order to have more control over your life. Now it may be time to reconsider the direction you want your life to take."

"I see what you are saying," Sarah said thoughtfully. "I have a lot to consider."

"Maybe not so much as you think."

"What do you mean?"

"For the first year after you graduate, what few things do you want the most in your life?"

The answer was easy. "Jordan and a job."

"There you go," Amanda said with a smile. "All you have to figure out is how to blend those two things."

It sounded so simple, and Sarah realized in an instant that it really was that simple. It did not have to be a complicated, gut-wrenching decision. She realized that she had always assumed that she would end up working for a large corporation after her schooling was done, but was that the best experience for learning how to start her own business? Maybe it would be better to work for a smaller company where she could learn all aspects of running a company instead of focusing on one department. If that was the best option for her, then finding something local meant that she was not sacrificing her future by staying. And if that was true, then staying meant that she could keep Jordan without jeopardizing her career plans.

Sarah felt that a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she could not help laughing at how much freer she felt. She turned to Amanda with a wide smile. "Is there anything else you can offer to make my life easier?"

"I do have an observation," she stated with calm amusement.

"Go for it."

Amanda seemed to think it over for a few seconds. "The moment of committing to a serious relationship is different for everyone."

Sarah's smile faded as she tried to understand. "I'm not sure what you’re saying."

"For me, the moment in which I committed myself to a lifelong relationship with Peter was during our first serious argument. For Peter, it was actually saying 'I do' at the wedding, which is not to say that he was not committed before that moment. It just did not become a fundamental part of his being until that moment. He needed the formality of the ceremony to make that leap. Arriving at the moment where love transcends into commitment is different for everyone. I think for you, it will be when you can look Jordan in the eye and tell her that you love her. If that is true, then you should not push yourself to tell her until you are sure. For you, it is not just about telling her how you feel. When you say, 'I love you', it will be for keeps."

Sarah let the words settle in her gut. It felt right. Not being able to say the words suddenly didn't seem so bad. She knew it was probably still hard for Jordan to not hear them, but now she understood that there was a good reason for withholding them. It was not arbitrary or selfish on her part. Some of the guilt she felt dissipated. "Wow. I think you are right."

"Jordan is a very lucky woman."

Warmth filled Sarah and brought tears to her eyes. "I'm the lucky one."

~***~

"Having your arms up like that only adds stress to the muscles, sweetie. Put your arms down along your sides."

Face down on Sarah's bed, Jordan moved her arms down with a flinch and a groan. "Really hurts," she rasped.

"Are you sure you shouldn't see a doctor?"

"No. It's just a cramp."

Sarah had come home to find Jordan curled up on her bed complaining of back pain. After stripping the androgynous woman's upper body, Sarah had warmed massage oil and was now seated on Jordan's legs. Rubbing the vanilla-scented oil between her hands, she placed them in the small of Jordan's back. "Where does it hurt?"

"The left side," Jordan directed. "Up a bit...Oh God...right there."

Sarah could feel the knot of muscle causing Jordan pain. It was tight and warm to the touch. "I feel it. How did you do this?"

"Ugh...leaned over to pick up a piece of paper."

"That's it?"

"Yep. It's hell getting old."

Sarah smiled as her hands began gently working the cramp. "You're not old, sweetie."

Jordan made a grunting noise that could have meant anything or nothing. Except for the occasional groan or hiss from Jordan, the next ten minutes were quiet. Sarah gradually increased the pressure of her touch, hoping that she was doing it right and not making the problem worse. She was so focused on what she was doing that she actually felt the cramp dissipate with a nearly audible pop. Jordan gave a long, shuddering sigh and relaxed bonelessly into the bed.

"Better?" Sarah asked.

"Unnghhmmmggrrr."

Grinning, Sarah spread her hands out to do the rest of her lover's back. She loved touching Jordan. It was almost like the skin of her hands was a brand-new sensory organ. At times she swore that she could see, taste and hear through her hands. It was an extraordinary sense and usually made her feel like she was high. Today was one of those times.

Jordan had such a beautiful body. She was strong and muscular, but she also had the wonderful softness of women. Sarah leaned over to place a gentle kiss between Jordan's shoulder blades. "You are so beautiful," she whispered.

"Glad you think so," Jordan murmured.

Sarah turned her face to rub her cheek against the warm flesh. "I don't think you're beautiful. You just are. So soft and warm. You always smell so nice."

Jordan purred. "Feels so good."

Sarah sat back and peeled of her shirt and bra. She needed to feel the skin on skin of their bodies. The room was just a touch cool, and her nipples tightened pleasurably. Shifting forward, she lay down on Jordan's back. Moving her hands down the long arms, she wound their fingers together. "I am so lucky," she breathed.

"I don't know about that," Jordan said softly. "Seems to me like I'm the lucky one."

"Nope," Sarah said as she snuggled deeper into the long body beneath her. "It's definitely me. I'm the lucky one."

They lay quietly for several minutes and Sarah felt her heart expanding. She wanted so badly to tell Jordan how she was feeling, but once again the words were trapped behind her teeth. Finally, in frustration, she blurted out, "Just because I can't say it doesn't mean I don't feel it."

Jordan started to lift her head and then stopped. There was a tension in the lean frame that hadn't been there moments before. Sarah held her breath.

"Lift up so I can turn over, baby."

Sarah shifted to let her lover roll over, uncertain of what she would find in Jordan's eyes. The handsome features were very carefully composed, and Sarah reached up to caress a cheek. "I feel it," she whispered.

"Are we talking about the L word?"

Sarah nodded and watched hope bloom in the blue eyes.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes," she admitted.

Tears welled up in Jordan's eyes. "Are you in love with me?"

As impossible as it was to actually say the words, it was a relief to answer that question. "Yes, I am."

The big woman began to cry. Sarah ached for her and quickly gathered her close. "I'm so sorry, Jordan. I wish I could say it myself. I feel it and think about it all the time, but the words just won't come out. I've been trying so hard, and I just can't. But I do feel it. So much."

Jordan cried hard for several minutes and then stopped. She was smiling as Sarah cleaned the tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"Don't be, little one."

"I know it must be hard to continually tell me you love me and not get anything back."

Jordan reached up with both hands to cradle Sarah's face. "That's not true, little one. I get back plenty. The way you look at me. The way you touch me. The way you take care of me. Don't ever think that telling you I love you is a hardship for me."

"But..."

"I know that you love me, Sarah. I've known for a long time. And I know that your current inability to verbalize your feelings has nothing to do with me. It's not because I'm scary or remote or unlovable. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to say it out loud. You tell me how you feel all the time in other ways."

"Then...why were you crying?"

Jordan shrugged. "Just happier than usual, I guess."

The goofy look on Jordan's face made Sarah smile. She leaned forward and gave Jordan a kiss. "I like making you happy," she said softly.

"You're very, very good at it," Jordan answered as their lips met again.

The kiss deepened, and passion rose quickly. It was always this way for Sarah. A look, a touch, a smile, an innocent kiss: the smallest thing could awaken the hunger. It was like an addiction. Sarah lost herself in the taste and feel of Jordan's mouth, their skin merging, the warmth of their bodies. She could not get enough, and Jordan was right there with her. Hands roamed, clutched, pulled, caressed and the fire grew.

"Off, off."

Sarah could feel Jordan's hands trying to remove her slacks and she was suddenly desperate to be naked. Rolling to one side, they worked together to get them off. She used her toes to push her socks off and kicked her slacks and underwear away. Reaching for Jordan's jeans, she tugged them open and began to pull them down. The dildo-of-the-day sprang to attention and Sarah hesitated.

Jordan reached down to release the straps holding it on and Sarah stopped her. A new hunger filled her. Leaving Jordan's jeans halfway down her legs, she climbed back up her lover's body and captured her mouth in a desperate kiss. The dildo was trapped between them, feeling warm, yet new and awkward. The disparity in their height put the latex toy right between Sarah's legs. Rubbing her liquid sex along the rigid length was almost accidental.

It felt delicious. Sarah rose up for a better angle and did it again. She was staring right down into Jordan's eyes and could see the naked longing there. She could also see a bit of uncertainty. They stared into each other's eyes as Sarah began to rock. It was strange, but she knew in a heartbeat that she could come this way. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensations. Warm hands closed over her breasts, kneading and tugging at her nipples.

"That's it, baby," Jordan said huskily.

Sarah concentrated on the power of what she was feeling. It wasn't long before she wanted more. Moving carefully, she let the tip of the dildo find the entrance to her vagina. She opened her eyes and looked down at Jordan. "I want you to have it," she whispered.

"Are you sure? You only get this moment once. I want you to be sure."

Sarah nodded slowly, passion making it hard to do anything but feel. "Take it."

Jordan shook her head. "It's yours to give, baby."

She knew it was going to hurt. Just the little bit of pressure she was using to hold the dildo in place was causing discomfort. She had always assumed that when the time came, Jordan would be the one to take her past that pain. It was harder to cause it to herself.

"It's up to you, little one. You don't have to do this."

Sarah was slowly shifting her hips, her entire body throbbing and seeking relief. "I want to," she breathed.

"Then give it to me."

It felt like an order. Sarah obeyed. For the first few seconds there was a tearing pain and she sighed with relief when it disappeared. In the next moment, she could feel her insides grasping for more. Staring down into Jordan's teary eyes, she slowly lowered her body until she was fully impaled. The fullness was new and different, but it felt surprisingly good.

"Oh my God," Jordan cried softly. "Oh my God."

Sarah closed her eyes and groaned. Her head fell back as she straightened, and she moved her hips around the new sensations. Everything had intensified. Leaning forward again, she put her hands on Jordan's shoulders and slowly lifted her hips until the dildo was just barely inside of her. She slid back down until she was full with another groan. It was so very different than anything she had felt before. Her pleasure had shifted and was coming from a new, undiscovered place. It was powerful and yet vague. She didn't understand it, but she needed it.

Sarah began a slow rhythm of rising and falling. Jordan was watching her with rabid fascination, tears streaming down the sides of her face. "Am I hurting you?" Sarah asked breathlessly.

"God, no. You're just...you're so beautiful, baby."

Speaking was so hard, but Sarah had to ask. "Is it supposed to feel like this?"

"Like what? How does it feel?"

Trying to think of how to describe it just made the feelings stronger. The motions were new to her, but she was catching on quickly. Sarah let her whole body get into it, rocking back and forth on the latex shaft. "Feels...so big. The feelings, I mean. So strong."

"It's okay, little one. I've got you. Just let yourself go. I'll protect you."

The feelings spread like a warmth, but they were tangible, too. Like there was something growing inside of her. She could hear herself moaning and it only added to the wonderful sensations. One of Jordan's hands left her breast and moved down to fondle her clitoris. The intensity of her pleasure expanded, and Sarah found herself on the edge of climax. She hovered there for an eternity and then imploded.

Helpless in the magnitude of her orgasm, Sarah slumped to Jordan's chest and struggled to breathe as her body continued to pulse and throb. She shivered uncontrollably as waves of pleasure echoed within her. She felt Jordan enfold her firmly and was grateful for the love and security being offered.

"How do you feel?" Jordan asked after a time.

"I don't know," she said weakly.

"Take your time, love."

"I didn't expect to enjoy it," she admitted. "I feel...embarrassed."

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. It was the most beautiful, incredible thing I've ever known. As long as I live, I will remember this gift. Not just the gift of your virginity, but the pleasure you took in giving it. And the pleasure you gave me in the giving."

Sarah lifted her head to look for the truth and found it in Jordan's eyes. "You came?"

"Twice," Jordan grinned sheepishly.

"Really?"

"I couldn't help it. You are just so damn beautiful and exciting. I hope it's like that for you every time."

Sarah slid her arms under Jordan's torso and hugged her with all of her strength. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, little one." Large hands roamed soothingly over Sarah's back. "I should pull out soon, babe."

"Don't wanna," she moaned. "Want you there all the time. It still feels good."

"You're going to be sore, baby."

"I don't care. I'm not sore now."

Jordan chuckled. "I can't tell you how glad I am that you liked it. I wasn't sure if you would."

Sarah lifted her head and rested her chin between Jordan's breasts. "I've heard straight girls talk about it. I don't think they like it that much. Once in a while, but usually not. I think I expected it to be interesting, but not like...that."

"It may not be like that every time, baby. This time you were ready, and you controlled it. That may have a great deal to do with how it felt. I'm really glad your first time was so good, but the next time might be different. If it is, it's not a failing on your part. It's just a different time and place. Take each time as its own thing, okay?"

Sarah smiled. "Okay."

Jordan reached down to her hips and released the harness. Grasping Sarah's hips, she flipped them over. Hovering over Sarah, she smiled and gave her a quick kiss. "Let it come out on its own, baby."

Sarah wrapped her legs around Jordan's waist. "Sure you don't want to give it another go?"

Jordan laughed. "Not today. Give it a couple of days to let yourself heal and then I'll take you for a spin."

Sarah grinned. "It's a date."

She laid on the bed with her knees spread as Jordan went into the bathroom and came back with a hand towel and a wet washcloth. The dildo was slowly sliding out on its own and she enjoyed the feeling, even if it was kind of weird. Jordan put the hand towel down to catch the dildo and began to wipe Sarah clean with the warm washcloth.

"Did I bleed a lot?"

"Some. Not too much."

Sarah sighed regretfully as her vagina expelled the toy, but she was enjoying the attentions of her lover. The warm cloth was especially nice. "That feels good."

Jordan smiled as she wrapped the harness and toy and set it aside. "Maybe I'll have it bronzed."

"I dare you."

One elegant eyebrow rose. "I accept."

Sarah's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

"I will. And I'll hang it on my bedpost as a trophy."

Sarah wasn't sure if Jordan would actually do it and she thought she should take exception to the trophy comment, but she pictured it in her mind and found the image intriguing. If Jordan had said she would hang it in her office it would have been different, but Sarah rather liked the idea of seeing it hanging on the bed. "Okay."

A brief flicker of surprise was followed by a look of satisfaction. Jordan smiled and returned her gaze to her task.

Sarah felt almost boneless as she watched Jordan tending her. It felt so right to have herself exposed like this and Jordan right there. Feelings of love rose up. "I feel it," she said quietly.

Jordan's smile was luminous. "I know you do, little one. I love you, too."

Part Six

The next several weeks were good ones. One of those weeks was spring break. Jordan wanted to take her someplace tropical, but Sarah talked her out of it. She really wanted the spare time to work on her proposal and make sure she was on track for her finals. Jordan was not happy about it, but relented when Sarah offered to go anywhere she wanted the week after she graduated. The next day, Jordan made her an appointment to get a passport. Sarah was dying to know what Jordan had planned that would require a passport, but Jordan just smiled.

Sarah divided her time off between studying, making love and taking pictures. Every day she went for a walk in the woods on the estate and took pictures of everything that captured her interest. With spring opening up, she got a lot of great shots. Mostly of birds, trees and flowers, but she had a series of shots of a fox at sunrise. It had been an unexpected encounter, but a rewarding one after the fox decided Sarah was no danger. Several of the pictures were extraordinary. Sarah printed the best shots and framed them for her wall.

Maggie finally decided on where she wanted to go for her yearly cruise. The cruise was thirteen days long and would visit Barbados, St. Martinique, Grenada and several other small islands. Actually, it was the what and not the where that she was excited about. The ship was a four-masted schooner. It was originally built in the 1890's and had a long and varied career as a floating casino, a weather monitoring station during World War II, and as a playground for the rich and famous. It now served as a cruise ship in the Caribbean that encouraged its guests to help sail her. Maggie, of course, was not of an age or fitness level conducive to climbing the rigging, so she had volunteered to help in the kitchens for part of each day. In turn, they would teach her island recipes. Maggie was very excited about the trip scheduled for the first part of May and talked of almost nothing else.

When Sarah saw the cost of the voyage, she nearly swallowed her tongue. Thirteen days would cost almost $18,000. Granted, the pictures of the stateroom Maggie would sleep in were exquisite, but it still seemed like a lot of money. Especially if she were working on the ship. Jordan was the one to point out that Maggie would be taking a crash course in island cuisine and that there was to be a renowned historical lecturer on board. Maggie would be learning all kinds of things on the ship. It wasn't going to be just another boat ride. She also pointed out that Maggie deserved it. Sarah agreed.

On the social front, things were great. Tamar and Janet came over on Saturdays and they spent half the time just goofing off. Sarah also saw them during the week for more than just classes. They didn't go out and do things, but they did look for each other between classes and spent time visiting.

Amanda had gone back to work and they continued to meet on Tuesday afternoons to visit and go window shopping. Sarah was very surprised to find out that Amanda taught kindergarten. She couldn't help but think that those kids were incredibly lucky to have someone so warm and powerful as Amanda as a teacher. Just being able to spend a little time with Amanda every week made Sarah feel lucky.

Sarah still couldn't say those three little words to Jordan's face, but she learned that she could write them very easily. She took to putting mushy little love notes in odd places for Jordan to find. Jordan loved them and was saving them in an old cigar box in her closet. When Sarah accidently found the box, it made her cry in happiness. In her next love note, she included some of her hair and it quickly found a place in the box as well.

Intercourse was becoming a more integrated part of their lovemaking. Sarah had been under the impression that a woman's sexual satisfaction with intercourse was a hit and miss thing. It was an impression reinforced by Jordan as well, but that didn't seem to be the case for Sarah. Every single time was good for her. Not just how good it felt, but how intimate it was being face to face with Jordan as they found their pleasure in one another. She knew that the largest part of how good it felt was the person she was with. She did not think it likely that it would be as good with anyone else.

Jordan seemed calmer and more confident since the introduction of intercourse to their relationship. The differences in her masculine and feminine personas seemed to lessen and she seemed more accepting of herself. For the first time, Sarah could see that she had a positive effect on her lover, and it made her feel proud and needed.

Every Sunday night, Sarah went with Jordan to the play parties. They had not yet gone shopping for special party clothes for Sarah and she continued to wear Jordan's dress shirts and slippers, but now with thong underwear. The parties were becoming more comfortable. Sarah looked forward to them. More people were coming on Sunday nights and Jordan said it was because they all wanted to see the woman who had tamed the Master. Sarah didn't think 'tamed' was a word that could be used about Jordan, but she thought the rest of it was true. At first, she was uncomfortable with being ogled, but then she decided that it was okay. After all, she was ogling them, so it was only fair.

The hardest part of the parties now was that Sarah would become unbearably excited. It was so hard to wait until they all left so that she could make love with Jordan. It was terribly tempting to throw modesty to the wind and let Jordan have her way during the parties. Sarah found within herself a point of arousal that no longer cared if people were watching; but in her saner moments, she knew that it was a line she just wasn't ready to cross.

~***~

After a long Monday, Sarah entered her house to find Jordan reading a paperback on the sofa. Dropping her things by the door as Jordan casually tossed the book aside, she straddled the long legs and gave her lover a languorous kiss. "Hey, sweetie. Miss me?"

"You know it."

Sarah ran her fingers through short, brown hair, enjoying the feeling of the soft strands. "What did you do today?"

"I got an owie."

"Where?"

Jordan lifted an arm to point to her elbow. The skin was abraded and red, but not bloody. "Right there."

Sarah kissed the injury gently. "What happened?"

"Pete did it."

Sarah had to smile. Jordan sounded like a little kid tattling on a sibling. "Why did Pete hurt you?"

"Cause I wouldn't give him money," Jordan pouted.

"What did he want it for?"

"A swimming pool."

"Ahh." A pool sounded good to Sarah, especially since it was warming up, but she knew from a distant conversation that Jordan didn't want a pool because she couldn't swim. Actually, she claimed that she knew how to swim, she just didn't float. Apparently, not being able to float made swimming too hard. Sarah wasn't sure what to think of it, but if Jordan didn't want a pool, so be it. "So, you said no and...what?"

"He asked me if I was on the rag."

Sarah sucked her lips between her teeth and bit down. Anything to keep from laughing.

"So, of course," Jordan continued, "I had to chase him outside and rub his face in the dirt."

Coughing to cover a snort of laughter, Sarah managed to say, "Of course."

"He's a big guy, but I managed it," Jordan added proudly.

Sarah patted Jordan's shoulder as she got up. She was going to start laughing soon and decided on the bathroom as a good place to do it. "Good for you."

"Thank you."

Sarah couldn't help it. She stopped at the bedroom door and asked, "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"On the rag?"

Sarah was laughing too hard to put up much of a fight. Jordan pinned her to the bed and tickled her until she had the hiccups.

Sitting back on Sarah's legs, Jordan put her hands on her hips. "A spoonful of sugar will make them stop."

Sarah concentrated on the spasming muscles and made them relax. In a few moments, they stopped, and she smiled up at her lover. "No need. They're gone."

Jordan's eyebrows rose. "How did you do that?"

"It's a yoga thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Smart ass." Jordan dropped down at Sarah's side and propped her chin on one hand. "Really. How did you do that?"

"It's just a matter of concentrating and relaxing," Sarah grinned. "I used to get hiccups all the time when I was little. And I mean, all the time. It took a while, but I figured out how to make them go away."

"Well, the next time I get them, you're going to teach me that little trick."

"Okay."

"Cool." Jordan placed a hand on Sarah's belly and sighed. "How was your day?"

"Not too bad. I aced that quiz I was worried about last week."

"I knew you would."

"That was a nice way to say, 'I told you so'."

"I am a writer," Jordan sniffed pretentiously. "I'm good with words."

"So I've noticed," Sarah laughed.

"Is that Lisa chick still giving you the evil eye?"

"Nope. I think she figured out it wasn't working. Now she looks at me all smug and smirky."

"Smirky? Four years of college and you come up with smirky? You should get your money back."

"Hey," Sarah protested. "You weren't there. She was definitely smirky today. I wanted to smack her a couple of times, but I behaved myself. Poor Bonnie looked embarrassed to be seen with her. She couldn't even look at me."

"Hmpf. Bonnie needs to grow a spine."

"I know." They had talked about this before. Jordan was still upset about what had happened with the study group. Sarah knew she had to distract her now or she'd vent about Lisa and Bonnie for the next hour. "We're eating with Maggie tonight, right?"

Jordan seemed to shake off the impending rant before answering. "Yeah. She's up at the house making fresh bread right now."

"Yum. What else?"

"Um...pot roast and, I think, apple pie."

Sarah rubbed her hungry belly. "Will you still love me if I get really fat?"

Jordan rolled her eyes. "I'll try, baby."

Sarah aimed a light punch at Jordan's shoulder. "You'd better."

Jordan grinned.

Sarah rolled off the bed before Jordan could stop her. "I don't feel like studying today. Let's go up to the house and spend some time with Maggie. Okay?"

"You're the boss."

"Yeah, right."

~***~

Sarah woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. Opening her eyes, she found Jordan sitting beside her with a steaming cup. "Morning."

"Good morning, baby." Jordan leaned over for a quick kiss and held out the cup for Sarah to take. "Happy April Fool's Day."

Sarah sat up as it sank in. She stared at the cup and looked at Jordan suspiciously. "What did you do to the coffee?"

"Nothing," Jordan said with wide-eyed innocence.

The coffee smelled right, but Sarah wasn't sure. "Did you put salt in it?"

"I swear," Jordan said earnestly, "I did not mess with the coffee."

Sarah thought about it. "It's something else then."

Jordan rolled her eyes in amusement. "Now why would you assume I'm going to play a prank on you? Just because it's April Fool's Day doesn't mean I'm going to play tricks on you."

It was all just too suspicious. All morning Jordan had a secret little smile on her face, and it made Sarah jumpy. But as oddly innocent as Jordan was behaving, nothing in the way of a prank cropped up. Sarah headed off for school none the wiser as to Jordan's plans.

After her last class, Sarah headed for her car. Usually, she would hang out for a while and study in the library until it was time to see Amanda, but today was the day of the blood drive for the players. She wanted to get home and help set it up. There wasn't a lot to do because it was a potluck, but she figured Maggie would fuss over it and she wanted to do what she could to help alleviate that.

A much older man in shirt sleeves and a tie began walking with her as she hit the parking lot and Sarah glanced at him to see what he wanted.

"You're Sarah Wylie."

It wasn't a question and it made prickles go up Sarah's neck. "Can I help you?"

"Richard Westman from the Journal. May I ask you a few questions?"

It took her a moment to understand that he was a reporter from the local newspaper. This must be about the accident, she thought. It was the only reason she could think of that a reporter might want to talk to her. Though it seemed a bit strange since the accident had been more than four months ago. She didn't really want to talk to him, but she didn't want to be rude. "I'm on my way to an appointment," she hedged.

"This will only take a moment, miss."

Sarah held back a sigh of reluctance. "All right."

Mr. Westman pulled a large photo from a manilla folder and held it out to her. "Do you know this man?"

Sarah took the picture without stopping. It was a color copy of Jordan; the one of him crouched in the snow with tears on his face during Sarah's accident. It was a much better photo than the black and white copy Pete had given her. The pain in Jordan's eyes was terrible and wonderful. "Yes, I do. This is Jordan Crisp."

"You work for him."

Sarah had a bad feeling about this. She came to a halt and turned to look the reporter in the eye. "You already know that I do. Why are you asking if you already know? Why do you care?"

Mr. Westman tapped the photo in Sarah's hands with one thick finger. "Just seems like his feelings for you are pretty strong."

Sarah lifted her chin defiantly. "Everyone should be so lucky to know that their employer truly cares about what happens to them."

"Perhaps."

"May I keep this photo?"

"Sure."

Sarah tucked it in with her books.

"How well do you know Jordan Crisp?"

"Why?"

The reporter's eyes became predatory and smug. "Are you aware that he's really a woman?"

For a timeless moment, Sarah was stupefied. Then she thought maybe this was Jordan's April Fool's joke. But she knew it wasn't. She did the only thing she could think of. Sarah laughed. "Good one. You almost had me. Who put you up to this?"

"It's no joke, miss." He pulled another paper from his folder and held it up in front of her. "This proves it."

It was a birth certificate. Sarah reached for it more out of curiosity than anything else. It appeared to be authentic. Several things caught her attention. Jordan's middle name was Francis. Sarah hadn't known that. Jordan's birthday was June ninth. She had weighed nine pounds and two ounces and had been twenty-three inches long.

And the box for female was checked.

Sarah had to assume that this was the real deal. The fact that it was a reporter showing it to her could be a real problem. Jordan needed to know about this as soon as possible. But how should she handle it right now? What should she do?

"How does it feel to know that your employer has been lying to you?"

"I'm not convinced that he has been," Sarah said slowly. "Is this real?"

"Yes."

"Then how did you get it?"

"I have my sources."

Sarah pinned the birth certificate to her chest with her books, hoping that she could keep it. "If your source works in the Office of Vital Records, then you've both broken the law. If this is really my boss's birth certificate."

"Oh, it is," he smiled. "But then, you already know that he's a woman because you're sleeping with him. When did that start? Before or after the accident?"

Sarah rolled her eyes as dramatically as she could. "Is this what you do when you don't have a story? Make one up? I hope you don't think of yourself as a journalist."

"So, it's true then."

Sarah sighed, shook her head in disbelief and turned to walk away. "I don't have anything else to say to you."

"Tell me about the dungeon."

It took everything Sarah had to contain the fear she felt. She turned to the man again with a puzzled expression. "What dungeon?"

"Come now, Miss Wylie. You know what I'm talking about."

"Actually, I don't. You think Jordan has a dungeon?"

"I know he does," he said menacingly. "Your boss runs a sex club out of that house. An S&M sex club. People traipse in and out of that house at all hours. Some of them are folks just like you and me, but he's also entertaining elected officials and major business owners. The people have a right to know what's going on in their own town."

"Wow," Sarah said with what she hoped was a grin. "That's some story, Mister. Just one problem. I'm a maid. I've been in every room in that house and there is no dungeon. I've met a lot of the people you are talking about and they are not doing S&M. At least, not in Mr. Crisp's home. Now, I doubt you believe me because I don't think you want to, but it's true. Somebody's yanking your chain."

"You're his lover," he responded with a scowl. "I expect you to lie to me. But I will uncover the truth and I will expose what goes on in that house."

Sarah shrugged...or thought she did. She was pretty numb. "Go ahead. No skin off my nose." She turned again to walk away and thought of something. Turning back, she added, "By the way, if it's true that Mr. Crisp is a woman, why do you continue to call him by masculine pronouns?"

The confusion on his face almost made her laugh and she used that moment to saunter towards her car.

"I need that certificate back," he called.

"Then you shouldn't have given it to me," she called back. Sarah half expected him to come after her, but he didn't. He was on a cell phone when she drove past him and she flipped him off just to make herself feel better.

It was a miracle that she didn't cause an accident or get a ticket on the way home. The Jag could really move when it wanted to. Fifteen minutes after leaving school, Sarah was running across the lawn towards the big house with the birth certificate in her hand. She startled Maggie as she entered the kitchen.

"Where's Jordan?"

With one hand on her chest and a butcher knife in the other, Maggie stammered, "In the...uh...the ballroom."

"Thanks."

"What's wrong?"

"Later," she called as she sprinted through the house. The urgency she felt was probably unnecessary, but she couldn't help it. If this whole thing turned out to be an April Fool's joke, she was going to be really pissed off.

Jordan and Pete were in the ballroom lining up reclining chairs and sofas from all over the house. Nickelback was playing on the stereo. Sarah stumbled to a stop just inside the huge room, unsure how to proceed.

Jordan saw her and began to smile, then straightened up as her face fell. "What is it, baby? What's wrong?"

Walking on wooden legs, Sarah made it to Jordan and gave her the paper she carried. "Please tell me this is a joke you set up."

Clearly confused, Jordan looked down at the document. Then she looked back up at Sarah. "This is my birth certificate."

It was all Sarah could do not to vomit from the fear she felt. "Shit."

"How did you get this?"

"A reporter gave it to me."

Jordan dropped down onto a sofa like her strings had been cut. One hand ran raggedly through her hair. "Well, I knew it had to happen someday."

Pete was suddenly there. "What's going on?"

Jordan handed Pete the certificate. "Some reporter has found me out."

Pete looked at the paper and snorted. "Francis? Your name is Francis?"

Jordan shot him a dirty look. "You have a problem with that, Melvin?"

Sarah looked up at the big man as he cringed. While she would have liked to tease him about his name to relieve some of the tension, she knew she had to tell Jordan the rest. Sitting down beside her lover, Sarah took a deep breath. "There's more. He knew that we are lovers," Sarah explained. "And...he asked me about the dungeon."

In that moment, Jordan's gaze could have cut diamonds. "What did he say?"

The menace coming from Jordan and Pete was nearly overwhelming. Sarah reminded herself that the menace was not directed at her personally. "He said he knew about it, but he thinks that everyone who comes here is a player. He was talking about elected officials and business people playing here."

"What did you say?" Pete growled.

"I lied, of course. I told him I was a maid and that I had been in every room of the house and there was no dungeon. I told him someone was yanking his chain, but I doubt he believed me. I didn't know what to do."

"Blackout?" Pete rumbled ominously.

Jordan took a deep breath. "The players will be coming in all night. I'll handle that. Focus on the dungeon. We've got some time before people get here, so get the obvious stuff out first."

"Where to? You never said."

"My office to start with."

"I'm on it."

Pete left the room at a run and Sarah watched him go in confusion. Her nerves were starting to get thin, and she put her hands together to stop them from shaking. "What's going to happen?"

Jordan's face was still hard as a rock, but she put an arm around Sarah. "It's alright, baby. We've planned for this."

Being held was wonderful, but the fear was still there. "What's blackout mean?"

Jordan's face softened. "The dungeon will disappear, and the players will be warned so they can protect themselves. I suppose I'll have to contact some of the non-players that have come here so they don't get blind-sided if it gets into the papers. Though, I can't imagine it will get that far. If there is no dungeon, there's no story. At least not one that affects anyone but me. I don't suppose there's anything I can do to stop them from printing my gender."

Sarah felt like Jordan's world was coming apart. She couldn't help the tears that leaked from her eyes. "Why is this happening?"

Jordan lifted Sarah's chin and wiped at the tears. "Don't cry, little one. It's not worth it. It's disappointing, to be sure, but not a disaster. Not at all."

"But now everyone will know that you're a woman. It's none of anybody's business. Why would he think the public has any right to know about you? They won't understand. All they will see is what that reporter wants them to see. They won't see how amazing and wonderful you are. And why are you comforting me? You're the one getting exposed."

Jordan smiled. "I'm comforting you because you are the one who's upset. Maybe I'd have been more upset six months ago, but my cover has already been unraveling. People already know about me and I've had time to discover that I like being able to choose what gender I present at any given moment. Sure, some people are going to be upset or disturbed for one reason or another, but the people most important to me don't care. The most important people accept me and love me for what I am. Fuck the rest of them. If this reporter wants to tell the world, let him. At least I'll finally be free. Can you see that?"

She could. Sarah took a deep breath and tried to let go of the negative emotions that so overwhelmed her. "Why did you look so angry then?"

Jordan ran a hand through her hair again before answering. "In a couple of hours, the dungeon will look more like a social club than anything else. If that reporter tries to print that we have BDSM parties here, I'll be able to discredit both him and his paper. Nothing will come of his accusations. But the fact that he asked you about it means that someone's been talking to the wrong person. I may never find out the chain of information that ended with him. I was angry that my players ruined a good thing and that there's not much I can do about it. I'm not angry anymore, baby. The dungeon will disappear, and we'll take a long break. After some time off, I'll decide if it's what I want to continue doing or not. On the other hand, I may have to eviscerate that reporter for scaring you and making you cry. What was his name?"

Sarah told Jordan everything she could remember about the conversation. Jordan asked a few questions for clarification and then stood up to pace. "Okay, as far as I can see, the only bits of story that he's going to be able to print are my gender and, possibly, our relationship. He can't print anything about the dungeon and players without independent confirmation. If he's trying to get it from you, he doesn't have it. The question now is: how do you feel about our relationship becoming public knowledge?"

Sarah considered it. "Well, I'm not against it, per se. I don't understand why anybody would care, but I worry that people will use it to try to hurt me."

"Like Lisa?"

"Yeah. But I'm not ashamed of you. I need you to believe that. It's just that how I feel about you makes me feel so vulnerable. I trust you...and a few others...but not most people."

Jordan nodded as she sat back down beside Sarah. "I understand, baby, and your concerns are valid. I want you to think about it and if you have any ideas about how you want me to protect us, let me know."

"I can protect us, too, you know."

"I do know," Jordan answered intently, "but as you stated so clearly not long ago, I am your Top. I want you to be involved as far as you feel comfortable and safe, but the responsibility is mine. Understand?"

Sarah nodded reluctantly. "Okay. I get it."

"However," Jordan added. "I am in need of a little protecting right now and I think you are just the one to do it."

"How?"

"The dungeon gear needs a foolproof hiding place. The only one of any value is downstairs."

Comprehension was swift. "Your rooms."

"Yes. I can't prevent the guys from going down there, but I would appreciate it if you would..."

"Protect your privacy," Sarah interrupted.

Jordan looked relieved. "Exactly."

"I can do that."

"Thanks, baby."

Sarah put both hands up to Jordan's face and leaned in for a soft kiss. "I'm sorry this is happening."

"Me, too."

Sarah moved into Jordan's arms for a warm hug, but her mind was working things out. "Jordan?"

"Hmm?"

Sarah sat back but kept a hold of her lover. "All that reporter needs to do is say that he's protecting a source and he can claim he has independent confirmation. He could print whatever he wants. We need to stop him from printing it at all, right?"

"That would be ideal, yes."

"We need to prove to him that there is no story."

"How do you suggest we do that?"

"Well, you said that the dungeon would disappear in a couple of hours."

"Yes?"

"Give him a tour."

Jordan's head tilted to one side and her eyes widened. "A tour."

"Call him. Tell him you heard that he was making accusations and offer to answer them. Let him see for himself that there is no dungeon. Cut him off at the knees."

"That could work," Jordan said thoughtfully.

"He could still write about you and me, but the players would be safer."

A slow smile crept onto Jordan's face. "I like it. If I call him now and tell him we can't meet until tomorrow morning because of the blood drive, it'll look even less like we have something to hide. The blood drive makes our 'get-togethers' look noble, not nefarious."

"You could tell him about the community service thing." Sarah was starting to get excited. "Maybe you should stress how hard it's been to get permission. Turn his seedy story into one of underdogs. He probably won't print it, but it should really throw a wrench into the story he wants to write."

Jordan laughed and leaned in for a kiss. "We'll talk more about this later. We've got work to do. I've got to finish getting this room set up and you need to organize storing the dungeon equipment. We have a lot to do and not much time to do it."

A final kiss for luck and Sarah sprinted for Jordan's office. Blocking the door open, she triggered the secret door and ran downstairs. Looking around the front room, she thought that everything could be stored between the living room and kitchen. There was no reason for anyone to go any deeper into the apartment. Closing the doors to bedroom, office and gym, she then dragged Jordan's LazyBoy over to block the hallway. This way no one could sneak around while she wasn't looking.

"What the hell?"

Sarah heard Pete's voice from the office above and she looked around quickly to see if there was anything she needed to hide. She didn't notice anything. "Down here, Pete."

The big man entered the room with his arms full of a binding cross and his mouth hanging open. "I'll be god damned. I suspected, but...damn."

Sarah remembered feeling that way and it made her smile. "Let's fill up the kitchenette first. Jordan never uses it."

Cirenio backed into the room holding one end of a spanking stool. Leroy was carrying the other end. Both of them had the same wide-eyed look that Pete had sported. Sarah let them look for a few seconds and then directed them to the kitchen.

"How much more room do you think we'll need?" she asked Pete.

His eyes moved to her only reluctantly. "Most of it folds up or comes apart. There's more than enough room down here."

"Okay. I'll rearrange things a bit while you guys get the rest of it."

Sarah started to push the ratty old couch to one side as the men started back up the stairs. "Wait!"

Did she dare? Oh, yeah. "Take this with you."

"What?"

"This couch. Get rid of it. Jordan's been meaning to get a new one anyway. I don't care what you do with it. Just make it disappear."

Cirenio's eyes lifted. "Can I put it in the garage?"

Sarah waved at the old piece of furniture with a generous gesture. "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday. It's all yours."

~***~

Two hours later it was done. At least, the part of it involving the basement apartment. The kitchen was completely buried and so was half of the living room. Boxes of toys and paddles filled in the spaces. It was as neat as Sarah could make it, but in reality, it was a mess. She'd directed things where they would fit, not with a mind to moving it all out.

She knew that the blood drive was underway upstairs. It wasn't loud, but she could hear people talking up there. Plus, the guys had been keeping her up to date. There were already a dozen people giving blood and more people were arriving all the time. Sarah wanted to check it out, but first she wanted to see the dungeon.

Closing the hidden door and locking Jordan's office, Sarah headed upstairs. The instant she entered the large room, she knew it would never work. It looked raw and unfinished. If Jordan walked in there with the reporter, he would know immediately what had been done.

Pete, Cirenio, Leroy and two other groundskeepers, Jeff and Adam, were basically scratching their heads about what to do next. The main room would be an easy fix. It was the alcoves that would give it all away as bogus. Ignoring the men, Sarah looked at each alcove and let her mind work. Soon it all started to come together.

"Pete?"

"Yes?"

Sarah pointed at three of the rooms. "These three rooms need tables and chairs."

"For what?"

Sarah pointed to the smallest room. "A small table and two chairs. Put a chess set on it." She pointed to the next room. "Table and four chairs. Board games. Cards. Poker chips. And that room needs a set up for puzzles or something. Put in some potted plants to make it look friendlier. Got it?"

Pete grinned in understanding. "Yes, ma'am."

She nodded as he grabbed two of the grounds men and left the room. "Cirenio?"

He snapped to attention.

"That room...hmm. I know. There are two yoga mats underneath my bed in my house. I've also got some scented candles on my dining table. Bring them up here. And find a little altar-like table somewhere to put in there, too. I seem to remember a couple of beanbag chairs downstairs somewhere. Let's turn this into a meditation area."

"I'm on it."

There were two more rooms and Sarah stood between them as she tried to figure out what they should be. Leroy came up to stand beside her. "Any ideas?" she asked him.

"A reading room," he finally suggested.

Sarah looked at the older man with a smile. "Think you can make it happen?"

He sucked on his teeth before responding. "I reckon so."

"Thank you."

He nodded at her respectfully and turned away.

That left Sarah with one room. It was a bit larger than the other ones and Sarah was stumped. She tried to think what would make sense. The large room would be a communal area and possibly a dance floor. There would soon be game rooms, a reading room and an area for yoga. What else did a large group of people getting together to hang out need?

Sarah mulled it over as Pete and Brent came in with the table and chairs for the chess room. They arranged them and started to head out when Pete stopped.

"You okay?"

Sarah bit her lip before answering. "It would be too much to ask for a pool table, wouldn't it? Especially since there's a whole room for one downstairs. What about...air hockey?"

"Foosball?" Brent asked hopefully.

"Both," Pete said firmly.

"Excellent," Brent enthused.

"And a dart board," Sarah added. "Any chance those things are lying around somewhere?"

"No," Pete said slowly, "but I can have them here in an hour or two if you think we need them."

It meant spending Jordan's money. On the one hand, she didn't feel that she had the right to authorize expenditures with Jordan's money. On the other, she was pretty sure that Jordan would okay it without batting an eye. Weighing the two, Sarah made a decision. "Do it."

"Cool," Brent laughed triumphantly.

"Get a couple of bar stools and one of those tall cocktail tables while you're at it," Sarah added.

~***~

Two and a half hours later Sarah was laughing at Brent and Cirenio. They informed her that there was something wrong with the dart board and proceeded to fix it by sticking darts in the wall around it. They were right, of course, but the enthusiasm they were showing just struck her as funny.

Pete, Leroy and Adam were busy with a puzzle-trying to make it look like a work in progress. Somehow Pete had come up with nearly two dozen slightly used puzzles that were stacked in a corner of the room. The same was true of the room for board games. Both rooms looked like they saw regular use.

Leroy had outdone himself on the reading room. In addition to a love seat and two chairs, there was a full bookcase and a stack of magazines that made the room work.

The dungeon now looked as if it had never been a dungeon. Of course, there could have been more art on the walls and the black/red color scheme was a bit overblown, but it worked.

Sarah was exhausted and very hungry. She knew that there would be more work later to make sure the main floor didn't look as though it had been raped, but the hardest part was done. She could take a few minutes off now to just relax and bask in their accomplishment.

Several players walked in and their mouths dropped open at the changes. Sarah took it as a compliment. "Welcome! Come on in and have a look around."

"Wow," one of the women breathed. "This is great. It looks totally different."

The man nodded in agreement as his eyes swept the room. "Jordan is looking for...Foosball!"

Sarah laughed at him. All of the men were excited by the new game table. "Why don't you play for a while? Have some fun."

"Thanks. I will."

There was nothing else she could do for the dungeon. It was time to find Jordan and get something to eat before her belly caved in.

"Lady Sarah."

She turned towards Pete at the sound of her name and saw him stand up. Leroy stood up as well and Adam followed hastily. "What?"

Pete bowed to her somberly and the other two men followed suit. Shocked, she glanced over at the new game tables and saw Cirenio and Brent doing the same. Embarrassed, she made a face. "Oh, shut up."

All five men broke into smiles and Sarah blushed under the curious eyes of the players. She made her escape before any more could be said.

The mood downstairs was a little more somber. People were talking quietly in small groups and Sarah could see worry in their faces. They did not seem to be panicking, but they were definitely concerned. Some of them wore stickers on their chests signifying that they had already donated blood. Several of them said a quiet 'thank you' as she passed by. Sarah supposed that Jordan had been telling them that she was busy changing the dungeon.

The ballroom certainly looked different. There must have been twenty people in white smocks in the room drawing blood, going over paperwork and monitoring equipment. It looked like a modern-day war effort. There were tables to one side bearing bottles of juice and trays of fruits and vegetables. Sarah's belly led her over immediately. She ate three carrot sticks before the taste even hit her tongue.

"Have you signed up?"

Sarah swallowed as she turned to face a much older woman. "Not yet. I have some things to take care of first. I'm looking for Jordan. Have you seen him?"

"He's meeting with people as they arrive to discuss business, I believe. One of the rooms by the front door." She held out a printed paper and a pen. "If you like, you can fill this out and bring it back when you're ready. It will save you time."

Sarah took them with a smile. "Thanks."

"No, thank you."

Tucking the paper and pen in her back pocket, Sarah grabbed a handful of cherry tomatoes and a nice, fat strawberry. On her way to Jordan, Sarah could see that someone had been rearranging the downstairs all along. Not counting the missing furniture that was now in the ballroom, she could see that some things had been rearranged. Someone not familiar with the house would never know that all had been subtly moved. It certainly made the rest of the day seem easier.

Popping tomatoes like grapes, Sarah quietly opened the door to what she thought of as the First Room and peeked inside.

"...Business as usual," Jordan was saying. "If you stop showing up it will be suspicious. If we want it to look like we get together to be social, then we need to get together and be social. Without a dungeon we have nothing to hide. Nothing will come of this."

Sarah eased inside the room and gently closed the door. Several people saw her and smiled. Sarah smiled back as Jordan turned to see what they were looking at. There was a question in her eyes and Sarah spoke to it. "The dungeon is gone."

"Already?"

"Well, the color scheme is a bit dark and gloomy, but I think you'll like it. The guys did a great job."

Everyone in the room relaxed. Sarah ate another tomato.

Jordan clapped her hands in satisfaction. "Well! We can talk more about this later. I just wanted to bring you all up to speed. Don't panic. That's the big thing. There is no dungeon and there never was. Do what you need to do to protect yourselves, but I think this is all going to turn out to be smoke in the wind. And remember, there's an announcement tonight after the vampires leave. I'd like as many people as possible to be there, but it's not necessary. If you're not here, I'll call you later and fill you in."

A few minutes later, Sarah and Jordan were alone. "Why does everyone keep thanking me?" Sarah asked. "What did you tell them?"

Jordan flopped down in a chair with a groan. "For saving the day."

"Excuse me?"

Jordan patted her leg in invitation. "If you hadn't told me about the reporter and it had hit the papers without warning, it would have been a nightmare for everyone. You saved the day."

Sarah sat down and leaned back into Jordan's embrace. "Pfft. Anyone would have done it."

"Nope. Just you. Half a dozen people have quietly admitted that someone's been asking questions."

Sarah was shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. From the sound of it, the guy hasn't identified himself as a reporter. He approaches them in a bar or café and strikes up a conversation. He buys them drinks and muses about the lack of a place to play. The players blew him off and forgot about it."

"Okay," Sarah conceded, "that sounds weird, but reasonable."

"Seems like."

"Jordan?"

"Hmm?"

"What a bunch of maroons," she said in her best Bugs Bunny voice. Jordan started to laugh. Sarah smiled at the sound. "What's the big announcement later?"

"The great reveal."

"Huh?"

"The gender issue. I'm going to tell them all at once."

"Oh." Sarah sighed. "I wish you didn't have to do that."

"I'm kind of looking forward to it. Might be fun."

Sarah shifted her head to one side so she could look up at Jordan. "You're not going to show them your breasts, are you?"

"I hope not," Jordan chuckled.

"Good."

"Feeling a little possessive?"

"They're mine. All mine." Sarah put the tip of the strawberry into her mouth and bit into it. The sweetness all but melted in her mouth and she groaned in pleasure. It was a big piece of fruit and she held the rest up for Jordan to taste.

"Yum," Jordan hummed. "That's good."

It would have been so easy to close her eyes and take a nap, but Sarah could hear faint sounds outside the room of new people arriving. That meant Jordan still had more explaining to do. "What a day."

"And it isn't over yet."

Sarah groaned in response to that thought. "I should probably tell you that I had Pete spend money for you today."

"Okay. For what?"

"An air hockey table. Dart board. Foosball table."

"Foosball?"

Sarah shook her head at the excited tone. "I don't get it. Everyone's excited about the foosball."

"I love foosball."

"You would," Sarah teased as she stood up.

"It's so violent," Jordan said excitedly.

Sarah patted the lean belly as Jordan rose to her feet. "Sometimes you're such a guy."

Jordan winked, and they went back to work.

~***~

It occurred to Sarah as her blood was flowing down a tube that they have forgotten something very important. It was the kind of thing that most people wouldn't notice right away, but a reporter would catch it.

Sarah turned her head towards Jordan who was giving blood only a few feet away. "Hey. Where do you sleep?" she asked in a whisper.

"Depends on where you're sle..." Jordan's eyes abruptly showed her understanding. "Ooo. Good catch."

Sarah smiled. "We'll take care of it later."

"The green room okay with you?"

"Sure."

Jordan shook her head as she stared up at the ceiling. "Damn. Such an obvious thing and I missed it. Could have blown the whole thing."

"Well, in your defense, this might have been a whole lot easier if it was the only thing we had to do today."

"Good point." Jordan turned to look at her with a very serious mien. "I couldn't have done this without you, Sarah."

"I was just helping out."

"I mean it. You have no idea. You really stepped up to the plate for me today. I couldn't have done it without you. It would have gotten done, but not half as well or as efficiently. Upstairs...what you did up there is nothing short of amazing. It looks great."

"I had a lot of help."

"You had muscle, baby. Organizing it and making it look so damn good was all you. The guys know it. They're giving you all the credit."

Sarah blushed in embarrassment and pride.

"What you did today gave me the time and space to make this blood drive happen and to talk with everyone about what's going on. I could have done this or what you did, but there's no way in hell I could have done both on the same day, let alone simultaneously. Thank you."

Jordan's sincerity was like being hit with a sonic boom. To be honestly appreciated and acknowledged for her efforts was very emotional for her. Sarah blinked through the tears that filled her eyes. "I'm glad I could help."

"Are you going to cry?"

Sarah shook her head and wiped at a tear that betrayed her. "I'm just happier than usual."

~***~

It was just after 9:30 by the time the blood drive people left. There were just shy of a hundred people gathered in the shambles of the ball room when Jordan walked in with one of her special vests tucked under her arm. The air in the room was casual and folks were seated on anything that would hold them. Sarah was the only one who knew that ten minutes before, Jordan had been throwing up in the bathroom. Jordan could say that she was all right with this happening, but Sarah knew how nervous she was.

"Is everyone here?" Jordan queried the room. "Nobody's upstairs making love to the foosball table?"

Most everyone laughed about that.

"This is everyone," Pete calmly said over the noise.

Jordan nodded. She looked tired, but she stood tall and straight. Sarah stepped closer, wishing she could just hug Jordan and make it all go away. She was aware that Pete, Maggie and Amanda were also moving closer in support. The rest of Jordan's employees stood in a group not far away. Prior to the blood drive, Jordan had informed them all of her true gender. They had all been shocked, but in the end, none of them cared. They were all here now because they were feeling a little protective. Sarah had spoken to most of them and was impressed with their loyalty.

"As I said earlier," Jordan began, "nothing is going to come of this reporter's story. He can't print what he can't prove. I have no doubt that you are all safe from being exposed in the paper. However, there is something else he can prove that I probably can't stop him from printing. It will not threaten or embarrass you unless you let it, but it's something you need to know so you don't get blind-sided."

Everyone looked curious, but no one said anything.

"I'm hoping you will all be open-minded about this." Jordan took a deep breath of uncertainty and ran a hand through her hair. "I've...there's something about me that I've kept from all of you. I had a lot of reasons. In retrospect, I'm not sure how good my reasons really were, but they made sense at the time and it just became a habit and then I sort of became trapped by it. I think I would have told you about it sooner or later, but I'm pretty sure it's going to hit the papers."

The rambling was so unlike Jordan. Sarah reached out and put a hand on Jordan's arm. When the tall woman looked down at her, Sarah took a deep breath and let it out. Jordan followed suit. "Just tell them," Sarah whispered.

Jordan rolled her head on her shoulders and held out the vest. "This is a vest designed by a friend of mine. He works as a costume designer in Hollywood." She unzipped the vest and exposed the inside. "It's made for a woman to wear so that she can appear as a man. He made it for me. I'm wearing one right now. I'm a woman."

A slender man in the middle of the crowd shot to his feet with both arms pumping. "Yes, yes, yes! I knew it! You all thought I was crazy, but I was right! Fuck, yeah! Money in the bank!"

Some faces were laughing at the young man's display, while others were gaping like fish. The young man pulled out his wallet and held it open. "The money goes right here, folks! Don't be shy! Come to papa!"

"Are you shitting me? You really are a woman?"

This came from a woman right up front. She looked as if she weren't sure if she should be shocked, amused or angry.

Suddenly everyone seemed to be talking, laughing or asking questions. Sarah looked up at Jordan and saw that her lover seemed to be the most stunned person in the room. Moving her hand to Jordan's back, she watched Jordan shake her head, put two fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle. The room quieted.

"How many of you knew?"

About a quarter of the room raised their hands. One woman in the back laughed. "Well, we didn't know, but we had our suspicions. Except for Jackson there."

The young man blew on his knuckles and rubbed them on his shirt. "Oh yeah. I knew right from the start."

"How?" Jordan asked.

Jackson posed with one hand on his hip, his twinkling eyes raking over Jordan's body. "I've got to tell you, Jordan, you are the absolute best drag king I've ever seen and without doubt the finest example of a man I have ever met, but men are my bread and butter. You've got it all in spades, honey, but no matter how good you work it, you just don't make little Jack stand up and dance."

Jordan chuckled. "I think there was a compliment in there somewhere."

Jackson inclined his head gracefully. "It is truly an honor to know you, Master Crisp. To be included in your circle of friends is a gift beyond price."

Jordan returned the graceful nod. "It is an honor to know you as well, Jackson. No circle of friends would be complete without you."

For that moment, it was almost like watching a king acknowledging the fealty of a vassal. It was noble and elegant in the extreme. When the moment passed, Jordan was clearly back in control. He looked over at the still gaping woman in the front row. "I really am a woman, Edie."

"Why did you lie?"

Jordan held her arms out to the side. "Look at me. Can you picture me dressed as a woman? It's not pretty. Even without the vest most people think I am a man. I've just encouraged people to see me in the way that makes them most comfortable. That was my original intent when I began to wear the vest. It made my life seem easier not having to deal with the confusion and disgust my appearance prompted."

"Did you think we would care? Us?"

"No. Was I wrong? Does it bother you?"

Edie looked angry now. "It's the lie, Jordan. We trusted you and you didn't trust us. How are we supposed to feel about that?"

The man next to her shrugged. "Doesn't bother me none. Besides, Master Crisp was never in a position where trusting us was an issue. It's the Dungeon Master's job to protect us from ourselves when we are most likely to be untrustworthy. He's done a hell of a job."

"She," Edie hissed.

"He," the man stated calmly. "When he looks like a man, he's a man. When she looks like a woman, she's a woman. You know that. You're just pissed off because you were hot for a woman and you didn't know it. April Fool's, Miss I'm-strictly-straight."

A number of people started laughing as Edie's eyes widened. As they narrowed in anger, Edie stepped forward and grabbed Jordan between her legs.

Jordan smiled. Edie gaped stupidly. Sarah saw red. Jordan wasn't wearing anything in her boxers. Even if she had been, Sarah didn't want anyone touching her there. Grabbing Edie's wrist, she yanked the hand away and pushed.

"Don't," she warned as Edie stumbled back. "Don't you touch him. She's mine." She could hear how intense she sounded, and it felt good. "She's mine."

Edie seemed to shrink in on herself. "You can have her."

"Your loss," Sarah snorted. She turned her back on the crowd and found a huge grin on Jordan's face. "Are you all right?"

"Gettin' better all the time, babe."

"Don't be smug," she warned quietly.

"No ma'am."

Jordan was going to be insufferable. Sarah could tell. She decided to escape before it got truly embarrassing. "I think you've got this under control. I'm going to fix the green room."

"I'll help you with that."

"You're busy here. Anything special you want moved up there?"

"Just use your best judgement. I trust you."

Sarah smiled as they shared a gentle kiss.

~***~

It was just after one when Jordan finally stumbled into the green bedroom. Sarah looked up from the textbook she was skimming. "Is it over?"

"Finally." Jordan kicked off her shoes and began unbuttoning her shirt. "I thought they'd never leave."

"You look tired."

"I am. You must be exhausted."

"Close." Sarah set her book on the nightstand. "Was everyone okay when they left?"

"Yeah, for the most part. They'll work it out."

Sarah enjoyed the strip show on two levels. It was always erotic to watch all that soft, beautiful skin emerge. On the other hand, the casual way Jordan was tossing clothes and pocket detritus helped make the room look more realistic.

"I'm going to take a quick shower."

"Okay."

Sarah could see the shower from the bed, and she relaxed with her hands behind her head to watch. Jordan-in-the-shower had to be on God's top ten list for best creations of all time. Jordan-brushing-her-teeth-wearing-only-a-towel-around-her-waist was on the list, too.

It wasn't long before Jordan slid into bed beside Sarah and possessively pulled her close. "If I had any energy left at all, I'd make love to you until you begged me to stop."

Sarah smiled and closed her eyes. "If I had enough energy left to have an orgasm, I'd let you."

"You rock."

"You roll."

Jordan abruptly sat up and turned on the bedside light. She looked around the room very carefully.

"What is it?" Sarah asked with concern.

"I didn't even realize I wasn't in my room."

Sarah chuckled and rearranged her pillow. "Good. I set the alarm for 7:45. Is that enough time to get ready for the reporter?"

"Yeah." Jordan shut off the light and curled around Sarah. "Thanks, little one."

"You're welcome, love."

~***~

Sarah wanted to stay to see how it went with the reporter, but Jordan insisted she go to school. She said that it was her responsibility and that she was going to spend most of the day on the phone explaining her gender to her non-player associates. Sarah understood, but she couldn't help feeling disappointed. It would have been great fun watching how Jordan handled the weasel in his quest for a story.

She stopped at a small, locally owned coffee shop on her way to the University for an extra-large cup of motivation. It was a beautiful morning. It had been getting steadily warmer for the last month and she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her skin. She wished that she could spend hours just soaking it in.

Janet was in Sarah's first class of the day and Sarah found her friend waiting for her outside of the building. "Good morning."

"Hey," Janet grimaced. "Are you ready for the quiz?"

Sarah had forgotten, but she didn't really care. It wouldn't count towards her grade and the questions she missed, if any, would help focus her studying where she needed it most. "Probably not," she admitted. "I didn't study at all yesterday."

"You? Not study? Oh God, it's Armageddon! And look at my hair! I'm so not ready!"

They laughed together, and Sarah explained. "We had a blood drive at the big house last night. Tons of people were there. I helped keep everything organized. The last people didn't leave until well after midnight."

"Did you give blood, too?"

"Yes."

"I wish I'd known. I would have done it, too."

Sarah grinned. "You just want to see inside the big house."

"Well, there is that."

Sarah bumped shoulders with her friend. "The next one is July first. If you're still here..."

"I'll be home by then," Janet interrupted. "I'll be working with my dad on my store."

"You can donate blood anywhere," Sarah informed her. "You can do it every three months. It doesn't take long, and it doesn't hurt or anything. It feels kind of good to know that I'm helping people I've never met. Like being an invisible hero."

They separated for a moment to avoid a young man barreling down the steps and then moved back together. "Are you still dating that guy?" Sarah asked. "I can't remember his name."

Janet shrugged. "Matt. Yes, but it's not going anywhere. I really like him, but I think all we'll really be is friends. Besides, I'm moving in a couple of months. It wouldn't be fair to get serious and then ditch him. What about you and Jordan? How are things going?"

"Great. Actually, I guess I can tell you now."

"Tell me what?"

Sarah leaned a little closer. "Jordan is really a woman."

Janet threw her head back in a laugh. "Nice try, Sarah. April Fool's was yesterday."

Sarah gazed placidly into Janet's eyes as they walked and waited for her to accept it.

"No way."

"Way."

Janet's eyes got really big. "That...that...hunk...is a woman? Boobs and everything? Holy shit!"

Sarah tried to shush her. It wasn't a secret anymore, but it still wasn't something she wanted yelled out in a crowd.

"He's a woman?"

"Yes."

"A real one?"

Sarah just gave her a look.

"You know what I mean," Janet backpedaled. "It's just that he's such a freaking stud. You could put him on the cover of GQ. He's hot."

"I know, but Jordan is really a woman."

"Wow." Janet made an odd face. "Hey, since I thought she was so hot, does that make me a lesbian?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "As a matter of fact, it does."

"Gosh, and I didn't even know. Does Jordan have a sister?"

Sarah knew she was being teased by the waggle of dark eyebrows. It made her laugh. "Come on, you dork. We don't want to be late for class."

"Does Tamar know?"

"Not yet."

"Can I tell her? Please, please, please? Ya' gotta let me tell her."

Sarah couldn't see a reason to deny her. "Okay."

"Woohoo!"

"But, you have to tell her that you only found out first because I saw you first. Today was the first day I could tell anyone."

"How come?"

"Oh yeah. I didn't tell you about the reporter." Sarah turned into their classroom.

"What reporter?" Janet asked from the doorway.

"I'll tell you after class."

~***~

Continued

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