by
Editor
Bleu Gato
Xena: Warrior Princess is copyright MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. All original content of Xena: Warrior Princess–2.0 is copyrighted by the author and is not to be used or modified without permission. All rights reserved.
Contact: bard@xena2.com
Blog: www.xena2.com/blog
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. CRETE – COAST – EARLY MORNING
A giant, bronze being trudges down the beach towards a distant, tiny fishing village. If a human were cast from metal, skin, muscle, bone, and all, this is who he would resemble – Talos, Hephaestus’ creation, the only mechanical man in Ancient Greece and protector of Crete.
Stumbling towards this walking menace is Meleager. Drunk as a skunk and lacking coordination, the great hero nonetheless does a fine job maintaining his balance. More so, he looks ready to rumble, with the hammer out and roar on his lips.
Reaching Talos, Meleager winds up. Spinning in a circle, he rotates faster and faster, the outstretched weapon whizzing thru the air. The automaton stands there, unconcerned, hands at his sides. He does not bother to defend the attack, which bodes bad news for the smashed hero.
At maximum velocity, the hammer is driven into Talos’ chest with a resounding clang. The devastating impact does absolutely nothing; Meleager is a different story. The resonance vibrates his whole body, making the hero hum like a tuning fork.
Talos sidesteps and Meleager goes face down, maintaining the exact pose he is trapped in. Planting firmly in the sand to a painful stop, the not so great hero passes out.
Talos laughs a booming derision and leaves the hopeless drunk where he failed. Continuing his unknown quest, the automaton heads for the fishing village.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – COAST – MORNING
Meleager sleeps off the booze and battle, visiting waves lapping him. His position has not changed.
The fishing village is not that lucky, its defender vanquished with hardly any effort on the part of Talos. Predictably, dark smoke announces trouble and yet there is no one to answer its cry for help.
FADE OUT:
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. CHIN – ROAD – 1 MONTH EARLIER/MORNING
Trotting the side of the muddy path that only generously can be called a road, Xena leads a pack of three young horses. Hundred feet behind her, wearing a Chinese peasant garb, a SOLDIER follows her openly. He is not the only one.
There are half–seen shadows and dark figures inhabiting the thick forest pressing in on both sides. At least couple dozen and likely more keep Xena forced company.
The Warrior Princess ignores them, riding without her usual grace. The weight of her separation from Gabrielle hits her hard and the upcoming reunion with Solan doubles the burden.
In the distance, a mountain range looms. The winter sky blinks brilliant blue, washed clear of the grime and clouds by the evidence on the ground.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST – CAMP – NIGHT
The moon jumps out in the cutting, crisp air. Steam rises from the horses grazing and Xena by the fire. Large pot of some dark brew starts to boil.
The dead leaves and detritus whisper of bodies settling for the night and then a lone set of footprints heads for the camp.
The SOLDIER enters, taking a seat by the blazing fire. Secrecy lost in the presence of a sizable escort, Warrior Princess’s focus shifts to staying warm.
Xena, nodding in the direction of the rest, making small talk
XENA
No ordinary men, those. Takes character to lie on the ground cold and hungry without protest. Used to make and lead men like that.
The SOLDIER does not answer.
XENA
No longer.
SOLDIER, unfriendly
SOLDIER
The fangs brand the snake; the forked tongue spills nonsense. Wise man considers the nature not the words.
Xena, matter of fact
XENA
That skin was shed in Amphipolis two springs past.
SOLDIER, sharply, with a mean edge to it
SOLDIER
Rather think you seduced an Amazon Queen, same as Borias and countless others. You don’t change Xena Khan; you cannot. I pity you.
Xena stirs the mix and tastes it. Satisfied, she dips a mug and starts sipping. The SOLDIER watches impassively.
Xena, weary
XENA
We are more alike than different.
Pause.
Xena, unperturbed, innocently offering
XENA
Tea?
The SOLDIER regards her suspiciously; cognizant of the fact, the Warrior Princess takes a gulp of her drink to prove good intentions.
Grunting gruffly, the SOLDIER turns and signals to the others.
One by one, black–garbed ASSASSINS file out of the woods, quiet but not Gabrielle quiet. Each downs a cup of hot liquid and fades back into obscurity, a grateful stare the only acknowledgement of Xena’s generosity.
The SOLDIER ignores the proceedings, his keen, distrusting eyes studying the Warrior Princess for any deception. There is none.
CUT TO:
EXT. HANGING MONASTERY – GATE – 1 DAY LATER/NOON
Soaring 160 feet above the land, built on the edge of a cliff, sits a temple. Stairs laboriously climb from below, tiring the eye long before the body undertakes the task. At the foot, a massive gate bars entry leaving either wings or scaling sheer walls as remaining entry options.
Xena dismounts and approaches a TAO MONK standing stone still in front of a tiny door set into the structure that appears out of proportion to the function of guarding the path up. The entire defensive setup screams treasure ahead, except the TAO MONK does not appear militant and rather soft and round around the middle. There is however a staff leaning against the stones with an arm’s reach of the TAO MONK – an unspoken warning against violence.
Upon Xena’s dismount and subsequent approach, the TAO MONK raises his finger to the lips, ordering silence. Warrior Princess’ partially–open mouth snaps shut.
TAO MONK bows and Xena returns the respect. The SOLDIER, holding a steady distance behind Xena, bows as well. Of the others, there is no sign.
The TAO MONK extends a hand and the Warrior Princess places Lao Ma’s scroll in it. Breaking the seal, the TAO MONK scans the contents quickly and curtly nods approval. He does not appear happy about any visitors disturbing the peace of his home.
TAO MONK rolls the parchment back up and swiveling about, departs. The door shuts and bolts and then the footsteps are the only indication of movement until the TAO MONK appears on the stairs. His place is taken by the SOLDIER, who approaches from behind.
SOLDIER, out of peasant clothes and into the dark outfit, informationally
SOLDIER
White Lotus advises you to keep your feet moving forward and your head pointed towards Greece from onwards.
Xena, lightly
XENA
Why the black?
SOLDIER
Irony.
Xena, trying to get a rise out of the SOLDIER, wolfishly
XENA
I killed the earlier escort of six.
SOLDIER, dismissively
SOLDIER
We are two score seasoned soldiers, not trainees proving their worth. You will stand in Tyre in a month or we will carry your body there.
Pause.
SOLDIER
The circle closes with the release of your son – a country and Little Dragon for your life and his. There is nothing left for you in Chin, Xena Khan.
Xena, letting the mask slip for a second, intently serious
XENA
You are wrong.
SOLDIER, blind to the obvious, practically daring her
SOLDIER
Then persist to our pleasure.
Judging by the cold stare he gets in return, that is one challenge the SOLDIER might come to regret.
CUT TO:
EXT. HANGING MONASTERY – GATE – EVENING
The SOLDIER and forty ASSASSINS mill about in the background, saddled and ready to go. Xena looks bored but holds her impatience well. Certainly, the monks operate on time different from the world. Either that or they go out of the way to discourage repeat visits.
The door swings open and Solan walks out. Taking after his mother, he is a tall youth of eight; resembling Borias in bulky build and facial features. Shaved head, humble grey tunic, and bare feet complete the picture; small bundle accounts for the entirety of his earthly possessions.
Xena, overcome by the past, weakly
XENA
… I … I’m sorry …
It is the most awkward of reunions and over in few seconds. Solan walks past Xena busy fumbling words, ignoring her completely. The boy stops by the horse and calmly waits for assistance.
Xena simply comes over, picks him up, and then sets astonished Solan up on the horse. Seeing a break in the calculated demeanor, the Warrior Princess strikes but trips the execution.
Xena, trying again, words practically dripping with guilt
XENA
I’m your mother, Solan.
Not getting an answer, Xena reaches out and touches her son’s leg. Solan turns his head away and her hand drops limply.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHIN – CAMP – NIGHT
Xena forlornly observes Solan sleeping by the fire. The flames cast his face in shifting light, swapping resemblance from Borias to Xena, and all the in–between gradients.
SOLDIER is there as well, but his interest lies in the Warrior Princess and specifically, her behavior towards the boy.
SOLDIER, witnessing the conflicting thoughts play in Xena’s eyes, shrewdly
SOLDIER
Feeling human?
Xena, bitingly
XENA
Stick to spying, not being my conscience.
SOLDIER, taking no offense, wistfully
SOLDIER
Watched men all my life … watched them train, fight, and die if they were lucky. Wounds persist; some for a lifetime.
Xena clenches her jaw.
SOLDIER, standing up, sincerely
SOLDIER
You are right, we are not that different.
Xena, grudgingly
XENA
Just Xena – no titles.
SOLDIER, bowing
SOLDIER
General Zhang.
If the Warrior Princess is surprised by the high rank, she does not show it. Yet when he finally leaves, she follows the departure of the old soldier with a small smile.
Xena, amused
XENA
Lao Ma: sending a fox to snag a wolf. Thing is, foxes are too smart for their own good.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST – CAMP – DAWN
Xena spars with air while sneaking glances at her son; it’s just the two of them.
Solan is lost in doing tai chi and pays no attention to her.
The Warrior Princess stops her sword exercises and retrieves Gabrielle’s staff. Guessing right, she tosses it to Solan and he deftly catches it and assumes defensive posture.
Sheathing her sword, Xena picks up her heavier version and joins him. Abruptly, he strikes like lighting and dumps Xena on her butt. Solan looks smug about it too.
The boy pays for it. Attacking from the ground, Xena sends an avalanche of blows his way. Avoiding strikes to body, limbs, or head, she hammers on the wood until his arms go numb from the blows and the staff slips from his grasp.
Placing a wooden end under his chin, Xena lifts Solan to his toes.
Xena, sternly
XENA
You dishonor Gabrielle and her weapon.
Upon release, Solan bows stiffly and departs.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEPPE – CAMP – ONE WEEK LATER/NIGHT
Xena stands under the stars, alone. Far behind her, Solan eats by the fire; Zhang guards the boy.
Xena, addressing the east, frustrated
XENA
Not one word. Gabrielle, children are supposed to talk; that’s what they do. Stopping their voices from conquering ears ranks nigh Sisyphean. Solan doesn’t.
Pause.
XENA
I try; day and night words flow and … nothing. He meditates constantly and shuts the world to unnatural exclusion. The wall prevails, has nary a chip or crack and my head is bloody from battering.
Pause.
Xena, sighing
XENA
I entertained the pinch just to make sure he is not mute.
Pause.
Xena, starting to pace, earnestly
XENA
Everything is times harder without you, from laying the head down to lifting it in the morrow; even rest turns and tosses. Only my son’s and yours safety stops the return to Chin. My bard, I need you; I need your love, your guidance, your patience, and your special ability to warm cold hearts.
Pause.
Xena, pleading
XENA
Help me, Gabrielle.
A falling star plunges towards the earth as if in answer.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEPPE – CAMP – NIGHT
Solan sits cross–legged on his bedroll, lost in inner chants or thoughts – same outcome.
Xena goes straight to the saddlebags on her return and retrieves a handful of scroll cases. Taking them beside the fire, she picks thru them until she finds Sins of the Past. Settling down, she begins to follow the familiar handwriting on well–worn paper.
The tension visibly drains from Xena’s body and unbidden tears bear witness to the turmoil inside.
Both Zhang and the boy are captured by the unexpected development. The first, opting for prudence, carefully takes to his feet and makes to leave, before changing his mind and cautiously facing Xena.
Zhang, surreptitiously searching for the author, sympathetically
ZHANG
Who was he?
Xena, refusing to engage, hollowly yet with a note of threat
XENA
Lost.
Zhang, apologetically
ZHANG
My condolences.
Having pushed his luck to the breaking point, the career soldier retreats to live another day. He leaves the camp to the family divided.
Xena lifts her head to confirm his absence and her stare wanders over to her son, raptly watching. Inspiration strikes.
The Warrior Princess quickly rolls the scroll closed and stores it. Picking a few more out of the rest, she carries the impromptu bundle over to her son.
Xena, excited
XENA
I want you to meet someone.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEPPE – CAMP – EARLY MORNING
Solan groggily crawls out from under the blanket and yawningly wipes the dreams with his knuckles. Scroll cases litter his bedroll, further evidence of a late–night reading binge.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEPPE – CAMP – LATE EVENING
Zhang gone for the night, Solan marches over to the horses and appropriates Gabrielle’s staff. Coming over to where his shocked mother waits, he bows.
Solan, confidently
SOLAN
Teach me.
CUT TO:
EXT. STEPPE – CAMP – FOLLOWING DAY/EVENING
Xena and Zhang casually observe Solan dig persistently thru Warrior Princess’ saddlebags in a quest for additional scrolls, before emerging with tonight’s winner. The delighted boy withdraws to the comfort of his bedroll.
Zhang, fishing, offhandedly
ZHANG
Got a name to go with the bard?
XENA
You could snoop.
Zhang, playing it cool
ZHANG
I suppose authorship makes no difference; the content rules supreme. Unless they are one and same?
Xena, deliberately obtuse, teasing
XENA
Do they now?
As is his custom, Zhang vacates the premises, knowing further probing futile and likely counterproductive.
Xena, looking at Solan deeply engaged in bard’s story, gratefully
XENA
Thank you, Gabrielle.
CUT TO:
EXT. BARADA RIVER – CAMP – 3 WEEKS LATER/DAWN
Xena turns from her task of storing gear on horses to find the boy shifting nervously. Similar to dealing with a feral animal, she freezes and hands the initiative to her son. The Warrior Princess is not disappointed.
Solan, hesitantly hugging Xena, shyly trying out the word
SOLAN
Mother.
Xena draws Solan to her chest and cries freely.
Zhang enters camp and it taken aback by the touching scene before him. The truth cannot be denied: Xena Khan does not exist anymore.
CUT TO:
EXT. BARADA RIVER – CAMP – EARLY MORNING
Fair Damascus beguilingly beckons west a ways, an oasis of a city. Closer, things come to a head.
Zhang, light dawning, confrontational
ZHANG
Who did this to you? Who tamed Xena Khan?
Xena, sticking the blade in figuratively, with contempt
XENA
You poor fool.
Pause.
Xena, twisting the dagger, putting the finishing lie on the masterpiece, arrogantly
XENA
Power, it’s always about power Zhang. I am not the dominant one in our relationship. She is.
Zhang, despairing
ZHANG
Gods save the Empire!
True to pattern, the runs off.
XENA
Well Gabrielle, bought you two months head start – hope you put them to good use.
Soon, Zhang’s shouts dominate the ASSASSINS, the group preparing for immediate departure.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
EXT. CRETE – CLIFFS – NOON
The path meanders above the sea, offering spectacular views of the water sprinkled with numerous fishing boats. Hercules blocks the trail, waiting for Talos to arrive shortly.
The automaton does.
Hercules, neutrally
HERCULES
Talos, you know better. You are supposed to protect the people of Crete. Why are you doing this?
Talos, irritated
TALOS
Run or fight.
Hercules, with regret
HERCULES
I’m sorry.
Hercules steps over to young pine tree and rips it out, roots and all. Swinging with full strength, he aims to send Talos flying into the sea.
The bronze giant has none of it. He deftly catches the incoming trunk and violently shoves it and clinging Hercules over the edge. The hero and his impromptu weapon go sailing into the empty air and plummet down when gravity urgently asserts itself.
CUT TO:
EXT. TYRE/HARBOR – TAVERN – FEW DAYS LATER/AFTERNOON
Xena and Solan occupy a large table. The various SAILORS, MERCENARIES, MERCHANTS, HARLOTS, and LOCALS that crowd the rest of the packed space give a wide berth to fully armed and armored Warrior Princess. Undisturbed, the family enjoys a meal of dubious quality.
Solan makes a grab for Xena ale and gets his hand playfully slapped away. The dynamic speaks eloquently of their relationship.
Hercules picks this very moment to join them.
Hercules, beaming
HERCULES
Xena!
Xena, leaping to her feet, pleased to see him
XENA
Hercules!
They forearm shake and then embrace.
Xena, pulling back, warmly
XENA
Want you to meet someone: Solan, my son.
The boy hesitantly stands and just stays there.
Hercules, putting Solan at ease, amiably
HERCULES
A young hero in the making, no doubt, given his mothers.
They exchange the same handshake, minus the hug. Solan gobbles the praise and respect and returns smiles.
Hercules, looking around, to Xena, concerned
HERCULES
Athena’s a mess, Gabrielle’s not here … Xena, where is your sun?
Xena, sad
XENA
Shining in the Far East.
Pause.
Xena, adding quietly
XENA
Don’t ask.
Hercules, decisively
HERCULES
Later. The pledge stands.
Xena, already dreading it, weakly agreeing
XENA
Later then.
Pause.
Xena, jumping on first available distraction from the dark thoughts, playing hostess
XENA
Come, sit.
All three take seats and Xena slides her plate to Hercules who digs in enthusiastically. Solan tries the same trick, only to meekly withdraw the offer under the scolding blaze of his mother’s eyes. No escaping his unpalatable meal, he resignedly and unenthusiastically pokes at it.
There is a commotion and the crowd parts to reveal Nebula dragging Autolycus. Solan uses the opportunity to toss the food over his shoulder, to the chorus of yells and outrage; fortunately, sharing a table with Hercules and Xena guarantees immunity from mischief. Problem thus solved, the boy assumes an innocent expression.
Nebula, arriving and presenting her catch to Hercules, jokingly
NEBULA
Found your jester.
HERCULES
Don’t know; throw it overboard.
Autolycus, outraged
AUTOLYCUS
Hey!
Nebula starts to move the King of Thieves away from the table.
Autolycus, turning up the protest and the volume
AUTOLYCUS
Hey!!!
Pause.
AUTOLYCUS
Xena!
Xena gestures relief and Nebula roughly deposits Autolycus into the chair next to her. She takes the next available, effectively trapping the thief between the two women.
Autolycus, to Xena, shameless, melodramatically
AUTOLYCUS
Funding my lifestyle of excess means being there for the advantages presented. Pirate ship, rich treasure, bosom captain …
NEBULA
Takes courage to enter the cabin of the woman you robbed.
AUTOLYCUS
Technically, you robbed it first. Not seeing the fault here.
Hercules, between bites, to Autolycus, suggestively
Hercules
This chest fixation of yours is unhealthy.
Xena instantly covers Solan’s ears; puzzled, he tries to work out why.
Xena, steering the conversation to safer waters, to Autolycus, ribbing
XENA
You keep getting caught.
Autolycus, brightly
AUTOLYCUS
It’s my curse.
NEBULA
Prison cures that; so does honest work.
AUTOLYCUS
Seriously?
Nebula, grinning
NEBULA
Yes.
Autolycus, oozing charm
AUTOLYCUS
Just when circumstances cloud hope for us, my beautiful and beautifully deadly pirate captain, you keep saying yes to me. Dinner date?
NEBULA
No.
AUTOLYCUS
Pity.
Hercules, piling on
HERCULES
Smart woman.
XENA
Add another rejection to the burgeoning collection.
Autolycus, to Xena, unerringly focusing on her weakness
AUTOLYCUS
Where is your fun half?
Xena, game, bantering
XENA
Chin.
AUTOLYCUS
I stand by earlier assertion.
Xena, bitterly
XENA
Actually: sold her into slavery.
Hercules chokes on his meal; Nebula looks lost.
Autolycus, shouting
AUTOLYCUS
Gabrielle?!
Xena, sarcastically
XENA
No, Argo.
Autolycus, confused
AUTOLYCUS
Isn’t she your beloved horse?
XENA
Horse talked less.
HERCULES & AUTOLYCUS
Wait, what?!
XENA
Female wiles too much for you?
Autolycus, to audience at large, philosophically
AUTOLYCUS
Since when does Zeus grant a sense of humor to humorless?
XENA
Not in your case.
HERCULES
Autolycus, word of advice: Xena trained her tongue on the bard.
Autolycus, quipping
AUTOLYCUS
I pay to see that.
NEBULA
Me too.
All eyes fix on Nebula.
Nebula, shrugging
NEBULA
Long sea voyages, girl gets lonely for variety.
Solan, suddenly complaining
SOLAN
Mom, you are hurting me.
The Warrior Princess uncovers her son’s ears and he rubs them into life.
Xena, deadly serious
XENA
Topic change or I go warlord …
The resulting uncomfortable silence lasts through the delivery of a pitcher of mead and its distribution into mugs. To his delight, a little gets added to Solan’s water.
Nebula, venturing bravely
NEBULA
So, Talos.
Xena, intrigued
XENA
Talos of Crete?
Hercules, grimly
HERCULES
Heroes are coming and dying from trying to stop him.
Autolycus, thoughtfully
AUTOLYCUS
It’s almost …
Xena and Hercules, one right after the other
XENA
Intentional.
HERCULES
Deliberate.
NEBULA
Meleager survived by drunk luck and muscles here …
Autolycus, interrupting
AUTOLYCUS
Hard headed?
NEBULA
Demigod.
Autolycus, cheerfully
AUTOLYCUS
Well, I’m off. Things to do, people to steal, the usual.
HERCULES
There’s a reward.
AUTOLYCUS
There was that word earlier. What was it? Ah yes: dead.
NEBULA
Heroes.
Autolycus, shuddering
AUTOLYCUS
I don’t think our bronze giant is going to politely ask me whether I am a do–gooder or not before commencing unspeakable, bone–breaking violence. “Fists before manners” goes the monster’s creed. Okay, teeth and claws too.
Hercules, stubbornly insisting
HERCULES
He’s an intelligent, living being.
Nebula, to Hercules, pointedly
NEBULA
He did throw you off the cliff.
Autolycus, thick on the irony
AUTOLYCUS
Well, that’s fine because I am sure lots of people want to throw Hercules off the cliff. What, am I wrong?
Xena, with finality
XENA
Fight or I will feed you to Nebula.
Nebula, darkly
NEBULA
I got big plans and bigger appetite … insatiable appetite.
Autolycus, sighing, morosely
AUTOLYCUS
I am a lover, you know? Animals, the lot of you.
Expectant gazes hold no quarter.
Autolycus, admitting defeat, flatly
AUTOLYCUS
Go team …
Pause.
Autolycus, under his breath
AUTOLYCUS
… to Tartarus.
Xena, with her sharp hearing, reacts by slapping the thief upside the head. Solan giggles.
FADE OUT:
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
EXT. LEVIATHAN – STERN DECK – 3 DAYS LATER/NIGHT
Nebula’s ship leaves a wake of foam, waves, and patterns, irresistible to the boy of eight. Solan eats the sights of a new experience with a gluttony that recalls a certain bard. The scrolls’ zest for life infects his soul.
One moment alone, next he is joined by a figure in golden armor. The Goddess imitates Solan, leaning on the rail while he, open–mouthed, takes her in. Athena endures the scrutiny patiently.
Solan, breathlessly
SOLAN
You’re Athena, Goddess of War, protector of heroes, best friend of Xena, and Gabrielle’s wife.
Athena, chuckling
ATHENA
You guessed all that?
Solan, modestly
SOLAN
Read scrolls.
Athena, wistfully
ATHENA
You have her in you. How’s Xena?
SOLAN
Misses you.
ATHENA
It’s complicated.
Contemplative silence descends and last a spell before being broken.
Solan, confessing
SOLAN
I did not want mother; I hated her for taking me away.
Athena straightens up and faces Solan. He turns and looks up at the radiant Goddess, who, guided by motherly instinct, brushes the unruly hair from his visage.
Athena, gently
ATHENA
What happened?
Solan, tearing up, with wonder as if still finding it hard to believe
SOLAN
My other mom: the one who speaks thru the pages. She loves me without having seen me, without having heard me, without knowing me. If a stranger can love me as much as she does then I am wrong to feel the way I do.
Athena, kneeling before the boy, comfortingly
ATHENA
Do you want me to stay with you?
Solan, hedging his bets, afraid to ask, timidly
SOLAN
I was hoping …
Athena, opening her arms wide and banishing his fears, affectionately
ATHENA
You are family, Solan. My family.
CUT TO:
EXT. LEVIATHAN – STERN DECK STAIRS – NIGHT
Xena watches Athena draw Solan into the embrace and the boy eagerly complying. Turning swiftly and silently, she whispers away lest she disturbs them. Wiping at her eyes furiously, the Warrior Princess withdraws down the stairs, unseen.
CUT TO:
INT. LEVIATHAN – CAPTAIN’S CABIN – MORNING
Xena and Nebula sit at a table draped with detailed, large map of Crete. Shortly, Hercules and Autolycus add to the war council numbers.
Autolycus, plopping down onto a chair, gloomily
AUTOLYCUS
Good news: Meleager’s still alive. Bad news: Meleager’s still alive and he imbibed the island’s remaining supply of alcohol. Clearly, we are defeated.
NEBULA
Enlighten us.
Autolycus, glibly
AUTOLYCUS
Zeus’ decree: cannot have a victory without celebration.
XENA
And your learned source for this earth–shaking announcement?
AUTOLYCUS
A friend of a friend of a friend – some of the best rumors start that way.
Xena, to Hercules, worried
XENA
Hercules?
Hercules, troubled
HERCULES
You start believing your own legend and then one day you grow old and are just that: a story. Then you either take to the bottle or sword. One kills you faster than the other.
Nebula, animated
NEBULA
Get yours and retire rich!
AUTOLYCUS
Hear, hear!
NEBULA
King of Thieves is right for once.
Autolycus, petulantly
AUTOLYCUS
I take back my “hear, hear”.
Xena, ignoring the bickering rogues, apprehensive
XENA
Think he got one more battle in him?
Hercules, doubtful
HERCULES
Think he will get himself killed.
CUT TO:
INT. LEVIATHAN – XENA’S CABIN – MORNING
Solan is immersed in a scroll, his feet dangling merrily under the bunk bed.
Athena materializes in the small space.
Athena, smiling
ATHENA
How would like to be a hero?
With a childish squeak, the Goddess is mobbed by the overjoyed boy. She bears it with dignity, as much as she can muster.
Solan, enthusiastically
SOLAN
Yes!
They both vanish.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – COAST – MORNING
Athena and Solan appear on a beach. She hands him one of Gabrielle’s scrolls and points towards Talos, resting on some rocks. Ruffled hair later, she vanishes.
Out of choices, certain the giant noticed him by now, Solan cautiously makes his way towards him.
Talos, amused
TALOS
You going to attack me, boy?
Solan, showing hands empty but for a scroll, smartly
SOLAN
How?
Talos, agreeably
TALOS
You find me in good humor. What do you seek?
Before Solan can answer, Meleager’s savage battle cry splits the air. Rushing down the beach at full tilt, he aims to run past Xena’s son and have at Talos. At least the old man is sober this time. Still, fortune evades him as before.
Timing it perfectly, Solan trips Meleager; the hero goes flying and knocks himself out on Talos’ outstretched leg. The giant shakes him off and sends him sprawling.
Solan, alarmed
SOLAN
Don’t kill him!
Talos, indifferent
TALOS
Entertaining fool, sober or not. I ask again: what about you?
Solan, with confidence he does not feel
SOLAN
I’m a hero.
Pause.
Solan, less sure under Talos’ skeptical look
SOLAN
Not yet, but one day, like my mothers.
TALOS
Where’s your father in this?
Solan, heavily
SOLAN
I was raised an orphan in a monastery. Used to dream about my parents coming one day and few weeks ago it came true. I don’t understand it but there are three of them.
Pause.
SOLAN
I think Gabrielle my real mother.
TALOS
Is it so or do you want her to be?
Solan, waving the scroll, happy
SOLAN
Very much.
Talos, putting a damper of festivities, blurting out
TALOS
I’m alone.
Solan checks the title of the scroll and it’s Titan.
SOLAN
This is a great one, about the last of his kind. Can I read it to you?
Talos, surprised
TALOS
You are not afraid of me and you want to help me?
SOLAN
I have to be strong and brave.
TALOS
You are. Go ahead.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – FORESTED TRAIL – NOON
Autolycus, grumbling
AUTOLYCUS
I don’t like the plan.
Xena, curtly
XENA
Tough.
NEBULA
Think of the reputation boost.
AUTOLYCUS
Not helping. At all.
Hercules, simply
HERCULES
We hold; you disassemble.
AUTOLYCUS
What if there is nothing to take apart? Also, for posterity, I’m the lone voice of reason in this madness.
HERCULES
Hephaestus built him; what was created can be undone.
AUTOLYCUS
That is what I am afraid of. Not feeling very sturdy today; cannot place my finger on why though.
Nebula, helpfully
NEBULA
Things inevitably going wrong?
Xena, a little too quickly
XENA
Things hardly go wrong.
Autolycus, not buying it, unconvinced
AUTOLYCUS
So, just how many of your plans do succeed?
XENA
All of them. However, there is often a slight, improvisational part to them.
Nebula, having fun tormenting Autolycus
NEBULA
That’s encouraging. Tell us even less.
Hercules, simply
HERCULES
Hero’s life.
NEBULA
The magnitude of favor just went up.
Autolycus, falsely optimistic
AUTOLYCUS
Well, at least we will die together. It’s small, but it’s consolation. Make it sweeter if you all went first. Except you Nebula; I kind of like you. You can die last.
Nebula, slapping Autolycus on the butt, rakishly
NEBULA
Hold you to it.
AUTOLYCUS
Lunch date?
Nebula, firmly
NEBULA
No.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – COAST – LATE AFTERNOON
Talos sits immobile, staring out at the sea. Solan uses giant’s left leg as backrest. Meleager, tied up and gagged, involuntarily enjoys nature.
Solan, hoarse and exhausted
SOLAN
That all the tales I remember and I don’t tell them as well as mother does.
Talos, kindly
TALOS
I liked them all.
Solan, looking up, curious
SOLAN
Why did you hurt people?
TALOS
Astraeus was right: it’s not my world anymore.
SOLAN
I’m sorry.
Talos, reminiscing
TALOS
Daedalus, my adopted father, passed centuries ago. Worse: no one to call friend until you.
Talos starts shifting and Solan gets up and steps away. The giant stands up and goes to the waterline; the boy follows.
Talos, resolutely
TALOS
It’s time to be a hero, Solan.
Solan, understanding the meaning behind the request, tearing up, depressed
SOLAN
I don’t want to anymore. It hurts inside.
TALOS
They are coming to kill me, aren’t they?
Solan, sobbing
SOLAN
They are going to tear you apart.
Talos, at peace
TALOS
On my right heel is a nail. Pull it out.
Pause.
TALOS
Please, my friend. Please.
Shaking, Solan collapses to the ground. Trembling fingers seek and find a tiny bronze nail. Taking a deep breath, the boy pulls the object out. From the wound, blood seeps.
Talos steps forward and then turns around and kneels. An oversized finger touches Solan’s chest.
Talos, sincerely
TALOS
Solan, you have a big, courageous heart. You are your mother’s son.
Lifting his bulk to his full height, the bronze giant once again faces the sea.
TALOS
Goodbye, friend.
Talos wades into the waves, leaving a trail of crimson. Less and less remains with each stride until the sea swallows him whole. On the beach, Solan passes out.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – COAST – LATE AFTERNOON
Xena, with the sharpest sight, spots the twin lumps far ahead, one up on the beach and one closer to the waves. Within a few steps she recognizes the shape and breaks into full sprint. The rest of the group follows, but the Warrior Princess outruns everyone.
Xena, falling to the ground and picking up Solan, terrified
XENA
SOLAN!!!
The boy comes to and blinks watery eyes. Recognizing his mother, he hugs her tightly.
Solan, crying out, guilt eating him
SOLAN
Talos is dead and I killed him!
Xena, rocking him, soothingly
XENA
Shh.
Hercules, Nebula, and Autolycus run up, out of breath. Xena waves them off.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – CAMP – EVENING
Xena finds Meleager at the edge of the light, furtively examining his shaking hands in the twitchy shadows.
Xena, startling Meleager, admitting
XENA
For me it was food.
MELEAGER
Bah, mere nuisance, hardly debilitating.
XENA
Not if you can’t fit into your armor.
MELEAGER
That would do it.
Pause.
MELEAGER
For me … well.
Xena puts a hand over his, steadying it.
CUT TO:
EXT. CRETE – CAMP – NIGHT
Meleager and Hercules are competing in a snoring competition, on the other side of the clearing. Solan sleeps close to the fire.
Xena gets in double bedroll and lies on her back, exactly as Gabrielle has for her wife. Athena studies her for a few long seconds, then without saying a word settles into her usual spot. The Goddess shifts around until she finds a fit she likes, Xena’s contours different from the bard. Xena pulls the blankets over them both and closes her eyes.
Athena, mischievously
ATHENA
Wife holds me close.
XENA
Gabrielle does a lot of things to and for you but I am very, very, very scared of her so why don’t we keep to pillow Xena and that way I live past her return.
Athena shakes in silent laughter. Gradually, it subsides. Soon, she is out like a light.
Xena reaches under the covers and wraps her arms around the Goddess.
FADE OUT:
THE END