Legal Jargon: Blah blah blah… Yes it looks like them, but I get to keep 'em

Subtext: Not a scrap of subtext here. I prefer down right main text! Hey, why wade in the kiddy pool when you can skinny dip in the jacuzzi? If this is illegal in the state in which you live, print it out and make a run for the state line. This is a PWP... there is no plot. If you're going to make the mistake of looking for one I wish you luck.... You'll need it

Challenge: This story was written for a challenge that took place in S. Berry's yahoo group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SBerrysStories/ ). The premise was: Two women, a warm spring night, and love is in the air. Or in a tree, or the dugout during a baseball game, or… Let's see who can come up with the most unusual place for a healthy and reasonably flexible couple to get busy.

So I decided to find the creepiest place possible and somehow attempt to keep people from cringing in horror.

Dedication/Thanks: Thanks to S. Berry for running such a fun challenge. Also thanks to my beta reader Prof. and Tamara, who should be given a medal for slogging through my ramblings.

Violence: Um no… but a tongue depressors were broken during the creation of this little ditty.

Contact: If you feel like sending me a pat on the back or a kick to the head, feel free to email me BluDreamscape (BluDreamscape@yahoo.com). For more of my little ditties, please head on over to E-Scribblers.com.

Once a year women dread that day. They see it coming on a calendar and cringe in horror as it approaches. We don't talk about it without cringing, nor do we believe others when they tell us it's no big deal. This was my day; the day I had to see the gynecologist.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Are all women masochists? You'd think we were if you'd ever watched someone get a bikini wax. But no, we do it because we know that too many women die of cervical and ovarian cancer per year, and if diagnosed earlier there is a much greater chance of survival. So I go, even if I have to grind my teeth into nothing.

I signed in like all the other lambs to the slaughter. I had a coffee stain on my shirt and a smile more plastic than Barbie's. Of course as the receptionist looked at me I felt the need to explain that it was coffee I spilled on me just this morning. Why do I do that? She didn't care. Was I just trying to make it sound like I didn't normally walk around with an enormous stain on my shirt? As soon as I made the stain I knew my entire day would follow the same path my poor shirt did. Oh goodie.

The waiting room was like every doctor's waiting room. I was beginning to think they all just order the same room from some catalog. I picked up a Highlights magazine and pretend to be interested in finding the twelve household items hidden in a tree. It's an unwritten law that you're not to make eye contact with any other patients, thus keeping the room quieter than an empty library on the North Pole in the dead of winter.

Finally, I heard my name called and for a moment I felt like I'd won a sweepstakes. After all, I'd only been sitting there waiting for half a life time and twenty-seven issues of backdated People Magazines.

I got up and followed the overly cheery nurse with too much caffeine running though her veins. Apparently her name was Heather. I had to bite my tongue to keep the 101 smartass comments I had fluttering through my head to myself. She told me to have a seat and get comfortable, or at least that's what I thought she said. It was hard to tell with all that perkiness bombarding me. She smiled and giggled on her way out. I couldn't believe she giggled. If anything, that should be outlawed in this type of situation.

Before I had the chance to attempt to get comfortable or nab any of the cotton swabs on the counter, she was back. If I was annoyed with her before I was kidding myself with such a diminutive emotion. The task that brought her sunshiny happiness back into my life - the weights and measures portion of the horror show. Here's where your dignity starts to head south for the winter. They parade you out of the room that they put you in for no reason at all, towards the center of the office and a huge scale. I don't know why but when I step on that thing and hear the clang of the weights being adjusted I still cringe. If I wasn't so busy trying to make myself seem taller I would have been be thoroughly piqued that Nurse Perky announced my weight for all to hear. So much for discretion.

After I bit back every horrible word I wanted to say to Peppy La Perky I headed back to the room. She again told me to make myself comfortable. Why were they always so concerned with my comfort? If they really cared about that there'd be a nice buffet and an open bar. Instead all I had were some devices that worried me and a strange smell that was a little too sterile. With a bounce in her step and another giggle she shut the door.

I was left to wonder how I was supposed to get comfortable when I had to change into half of a paper napkin. It took me a few moments just to figure out how the thing would be tied on. Oh yes, I was getting comfortable. With one hand desperately clutching the back of the gown to keep it closed I peered around the exam room or as I like to call it, the chamber of horrors. It was a typical exam room by all accounts.

Maybe I'm a lunatic, or just completely paranoid, but I couldn't help wondering if some of the equipment couldn't possibly be a small camera. Maybe the draft my backside was catching made me excessively jumpy, but I really did expect that in three days time there would be pictures of my unmentionables splashed across a few not so tasteful websites.

Trying hard not to look through the drawers or tinker with the light they use to look into ears, I waited. I waited still. And then, I waited some more. Eventually, just as time was starting to reverse itself, the door opened.

It always amazes me how an older gentleman could ask you to hop into what resembled a medieval torture chamber all while smiling like it was something as commonplace as brushing your teeth. Not to mention the fact that he seemed perfectly able to continue with the idle chit chat while all I could see were his eyes and the top of his head. That wasn't the moment I wanted to think about the rain that had been forecast that morning. And I really didn't want to talk politics. It was rather disconcerting to have the man talking about the candidates while 'down there' and referring to them by their last name as if they were prize fighters.

He told me not to worry that I might feel something cool. What in the world was this man's definition of cool? He might as well have dipped his instruments in liquid nitrogen. While looking at just the top of his face, I fought the urge to kick him in the head. Believe me, I showed a lot of restraint. However, as soon as he told me I might feel some discomfort I almost lost my battle not to injure him. You mean I wasn't already? All I could think about was getting out of there and home. I didn't much care what the rest of my night would entail as long as it didn't involve stirrups.

At some point I allowed my mind to wander. I had no choice because I really didn't want to think about the fact that this man had gotten farther with me than my high school prom date. His voice drifted away as I started running through what I was going to have to do that day. I had the day off, but what that really meant was, it was jam packed with other crap that had to get done. I'd managed to get most of it accomplished before the doctor's appointment. I knew by the time I was done with that I wouldn't be interested in going to the bank or jockeying with thirty-seven other people for the fastest line at the grocery store.

The only thing left for me would be a quick stop at my parents' house. I don't think I'll ever get used to calling it dad's house. I'm thirty-four years old and it will always be my parents' house. It won't matter how long my mom has been gone, she's still there. Dad asked me to come over to do a few things around the house. I knew it was just an excuse; he just wanted to see me. I really didn't mind going along with his pretense. If it made it easier on him to request my company under the guise of needing me to rearrange the soup cans alphabetically, then who was I to argue?

My mind was sharply brought back to the task at hand as the doctor began yet another exam. If you can believe it, he was whistling while he was working. Add that to the things that should be outlawed. I closed my eyes once more and tried to get my thoughts back in order. Where was I? Oh, right. My dad.

I couldn't really blame him for wanting to see me; I had been rather busy lately. Finally I was at a job I didn't detest and my love life had made a complete turn around. That alone was the hardest for me to get used to. For so long I had been resigned to being alone. I thought I would always be the single friend who added the odd wheel to just about any group outing. I almost wanted to pinch myself... Thankfully the doctor was taking care of any need I had for a pinching sensation.

I just wanted to go home.

Just as I was about to start into a serious pout I heard the telltale sound of the doctor taking off his gloves. I wanted to get up and do a victory dance, but the missing back to the gown put an end to that urge rather quickly. The man I had known for years, but still couldn't seem to completely look in the eyes smiled at me and started writing in my chart.

"Everything looks good that I can see...," he began. He went on to tell me when the tests would be back and when to call his office. I was only half listening and daydreaming about putting my clothes back on.

"So Kate, do you have any questions for me?" he asked looking up at me in that 'I'm trying to look interested but I'm really thinking of my golf game' doctor look.

"Not at the moment, no," I answered. Sometimes I felt like making up a question just so I appeared more vigilant about my health.

"Okay, well I think I'll want to see you again in a year at the very latest. With your family history it's really important to have regular exams..." And he was off with a speech I had heard a hundred times.

There was no way I could forget the importance of an exam. After losing my mom to ovarian cancer there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about her or the disease that took her from us far too early. That was yet another reason these exams were so difficult for me, apart from the obvious reasons. Each and every time I go I spend the night before thinking of mom and the possibility that one day I might receive a life changing call from a doctor too.

Four years she had been gone. Four years of my dad's phone calls to do some random chore at the house. And four years since my brother stepped foot in the state. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He wasn't able to think of her without reliving her final days. He'd just as soon not be around than actually have to deal with some kind of emotion.

That's not to say I'm perfect, far from it. For a time I couldn't stand even driving by the hospital where she died or seeing people that reminded me of teary goodbyes. I was willing to hide away in hopes that the pain couldn't find me in whatever hole I crawled into. But that changed. She changed me. And now there was no going back.

Again I brought myself back from my mental wanderings to give the doctor some of my attention. He was engrossed once again in my chart and for a moment I fought the urge to look over his shoulder.

He slid the pen he was using into his shirt pocket and looked at me. It was a little disturbing because I could tell he wanted to say something to me. I didn't really feel the need to ask so I just sat there observing the fact that he had a lot more grey hair since the last time I saw him.

"Okay Kate, we're done for now. You were the last appointment for the day so feel free to take your time in here. And take this to the reception desk," he said while handing me a green sheet of paper. With a deep breath he stood and walked toward the door.

"Thanks Dr. Hansen," I said while glancing at the sheet.

"How many times do I have to ask you to call me Jack? I've known you and your family way too long to still be Dr. Hansen." His voice took on that mock annoyed tone.

"Sorry Dr. Jack." I watched him snort a short laugh and toss a wave over his shoulder on the way out.

He turned back and gave me a small smile. "I'll see you later Kate, take care." And with that he was gone and I was once again alone in the small room.

That wasn't so bad. Well it was easy to say that after the whole thing was over and there was an end in sight. I hopped down off the exam table, glad I'd soon have some clothes on. I just hope everything was where I left it. If my luck for the day held out I'd end up missing a shoe.

After scurrying to the restroom to get cleaned up, I was more than overjoyed to return to the little exam room and get dressed. With my back to the door I heard it open while my hand flew to the open backside of the gown in an instant. I didn't feel the need to be flashing innocent passersby. However, it would have been nice if they would have knocked. Just as I was about to spin around and make known, I noticed something all too familiar. There it was, the smell of Eternity. As soon as my favorite doctor was near, my irritation was gone as well as my need to throw a temper tantrum. I decided not to turn around since I no longer felt threatened, and began to get dressed once again.

Not a word was spoken as I felt a pair of hands slide onto my waist. I could feel her close and I let slip a sigh of contentment.

"Shhh Candy, my girlfriend might hear us," I said in a conspiring whisper.

I felt as much as heard the chuckle behind me. "First of all," a rich voice answered. "Her name is Heather, and second I'm sure your girl wouldn't mind this one bit."

"Kandy with a 'K', Bambii with two 'I's', whatever. She's too perky to be a Heather," I said referring to the cheerleader in white pretending to be a nurse.

"Hey now, she's very good at her job," she gently chastised me for my attitude.

"She announces your weight to the whole damn office." I figured that would justify any unjust flak I was giving and I dare any woman to disagree.

"You make it sound like she was divulging state secrets." This time her voice was closer to my ear. She had leaned her head down so she could greet my neck as she does in the mornings.

On reflex I tilted my head to the side allowing her to have all the room she needed. "There's a difference? Why doesn't she just post my age in the company newsletter?" I knew I was grumbling, but she understood.

She pulled me back against her and I felt her slight chuckle again. I realized I had yet to see her and that right then I really needed to. I turned in her arms and looked into the twinkling brown eyes of Abby, my love of the past year. Regardless of how my day was it always felt like a vacation when I could watch her. I reached up and brushed one of her short auburn strands away from her eyes. It was really that easy. In such a short amount of time she had managed to pull me away from the mini tantrum I was flirting with.

"I could have her post it in the newsletter if you like; you do have a birthday coming up." It amazed me she was able to say that with a straight face. What amazed me more was that I didn't roll my eyes.

"You wouldn't dare..." I narrowed my eyes knowing that yes she would dare. "You realize I would just have to have Mabel add the story of what really happened to Dr. Laredo's toupee in next months issue...." Now I was fighting the urge to laugh. She knew I had Mabel the office manager wrapped around my little finger. Any excuse to make the woman in front of me blush was a good one for Mabel. She just couldn't pass up playing a joke on us "kids" as she likes to call us.

I watched as her eyes widened playfully. "Good point." She leaned in to brush my lips with hers. She pulled away slightly and in a low voice asked, "How was the exam? Replenish our supply of tongue depressors?"

I traced her cheek with a fingertip before answering. I could tell there was an underlying current of worry there. She was all too familiar with my history and that of my family to not have concern. She was also too much of a professional to ask her partner in the practice, Dr. Jack Hansen, how it went. She understood how much I hated this experience and knew I would appreciate a friendly face after the exam.

"It was fine. Well as fine as one can be when trussed up like a turkey with people poking you."

She pulled me closer and I could feel her chin resting on my head. "I'm glad hun, I tend to worry I know."

I rubbed her back in slow circles. As a gynecologist herself she knew better than most what the worst case scenario could be. I pulled away and placed a small kiss on her cloth covered breastbone. I really did need to change into some real clothes. The draft coming from the southerly region was starting to get on my last nerve.

"What you need to worry about baby, is Bubbles sweeping me off my feet and taking me away from you," I joked as I started a search for all of my clothes.

"Heather," she corrected me.

"Exactly what I said."

"Well I just think if you're going to go have an affair with another woman you should at least know her name," she reasoned.

I chuckled as I stared getting dressed. "There's too many for me to keep *all* their names straight love."

"Oh yes, I can see how that would be a problem you poor dear. Perhaps you should write them down?"

"Don't wanna leave a trail of evidence."

"Well that girlfriend of yours is a jealous type so I can understand that. Why not just have them wear nametags or something?" I could tell she was just humoring me and my lame jokes to make me smile. I just wish mom was around to see that I did indeed end up with a doctor, and one who worked with her former doctor no less.

I decided it was time to put an end to this little game. I loved that she could play without worry of underlying meaning. She knew it was only her in my heart. I snapped my jeans closed and walked towards her making a show at looking at her nametag.

"Well Abby, I already have the one I want to keep, wearing one."

"I'm surprised it doesn't have a locator beacon or some kinda transmitter," she replied.

"Don't think I didn't look into it," I said while standing on my toes to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Let me finish getting ready here and we can head home to a nice romantic pizza."

She chuckled knowing that my idea of cooking always included take out menus and paper plates. "You sure you don't want to just stay here?" she asked while pulling me against her. As intoxicating as the smell of Eternity and her shampoo was, there was no way what she was thinking about was going to happen.

"I really do hope you're kidding."

"What? I missed waking up with you this morning." She even stuck her bottom lip out just far enough to emphasize her pout. Her hands started moving across my exposed back. I really needed to put a stop to this. I'd start taking my stand eventually; it just felt so good to have her near me.

"I can't believe you'd even think about that in here of all places," I mumbled against her chest.

"What?" She asked innocently... too innocently. "A lot of people have..." I could tell she was thinking of an appropriate word. "Rendezvous in the office. It's almost a prerequisite. You know, the classic story: Girl meets girl, girl defiles girl's office. Are you really willing to stand in the way of tradition?"

I rolled my eyes. When she wanted to, Abby could shovel it like the best of them. She insisted it was a skill. I insisted she was playfully insane. It's a close line really. I chuckled and swatted her on her backside.

"Abby, most people don't have a desk covered in butcher paper with stirrups on the side."

"Well it's not my fault they don't recognize a good idea," she said with a grin. God she looked good when she smiled at me like that. I could tell she was amused, but she also looked at me as if there was a secret we shared that the world at large would never know.

I backed away slowly knowing I had absolutely no will power when it came to her. It was quite unfair. "You keep looking at me like that and we won't get around to ordering pizza when we get home." There that was a good compromise right? Right.

She disagreed and slowly moved toward me. "What if we don't want to wait?" Her eyes had taken on what I'd guess would be the same look a lion gets when it sees a wounded hyena. I was dead meat.

She closed in on me and stood inches away. God, the pull toward her was incredible. "What if someone walks in?" I asked. By the sparkle in her eyes I could tell she knew she'd succeeded.

"Locked," she responded.

"What about everyone... what about Kiki, won't she wonder where you've gone?" It was a token argument I know, but the whole idea of feeling anything other than fear and discomfort in this office was a little creepy to me.

"You mean Heather."

"Whatever."

She chuckled lightly before answering. "Are you kidding? They'll all head home the second they're able. They don't wanna be here longer than absolutely necessary."

My eyes closed involuntary as she neared. Her lips brushed across mine as if they were reacquainting themselves. I could feel her breath tickle my skin each time our lips made contact. Slowly she pulled away and my eyes opened. Right then and there my resolve melted. The only thing I could think of was the feel of her.

Her eyes were fixed to my lips as if pulled there with a string. In a whisper she said, "But if you still wanna go home we can do that..."

I didn't bother to answer her with any words. Instead my hands raised towards her face. One traced the line of her jaw to her lips, the other sunk into her hair. Eventually she moved closer and captured my lips again. To this day I don't know if I pulled her or if she just leaned in. Either way I was in heaven.

For a moment I had forgotten that I never did manage to get my shirt on. I was reminded quickly as her hand started tracing random patterns across my lower back. I felt her lips part and it made my breath hitch. Her tongue caressed my lips reverently, like it was trying to map them from memory. This slow teasing kiss was not what I would have expected for an encounter like this, but I sure wasn't going to complain. Frankly I had no idea what Abby had in mind. If she kept kissing me like that I knew I wouldn't care.

Her tongue slipped past my lips just as her hands moved toward my sides and began to journey upward. Both of my hands had found permanent residence in her hair and I wasn't about to let go. It was like an anchor for me to cling to. Her slow exploration of my mouth was making me feel cherished. I began to need more, I began to want to melt into her. She seemed to sense my changing mood and she became a little more aggressive. She was no longer simply exploring, she was beginning to conquer me.

She backed me against the exam table and then lifted me onto its edge. The height of the table allowed us to be about eye level. I took this as a good opportunity for my tongue to treat her to some of the same feeling she had been giving me. Eventually I began to kiss along her jaw bone and toward her neck. She tilted her head allowing me to do what I wanted. My hands left her hair and settled on her hips just as my tongue tasted her neck. She groaned as I pulled her closer. My legs were on either side of her as I felt her lower stomach pressing against me. It wasn't nearly enough contact to do anything but tease me. This fact alone seemed to cause the groan I heard leave her lips.

I left her neck the moment I felt her hands move between us. I leaned back slightly to allow her the access she wanted. Her hands immediately moved across my stomach and cupped my breasts. Her lips descended on my neck just as thumbs brushed my nipples. Thumbs brushed my nipples again and my hands left her waist. I moved one behind me to act as a brace while the other once again found itself buried in her hair.

I pulled her mouth from her neck and merged our lips once again. This time I could feel her hunger. It was like a rolling tide and I answered it with my own need. I heard nothing but my heart pounding and her quickened breathing. Her lips left mine once more and I couldn't help the strangled whimper. I've always been one of those women who can kiss for hours and I was ready to set up shop right then, but she had other ideas.

I wasn't about to play possum. While her lips focused on my neck my hand began to direct her head exactly where I needed her. Slowly she began to lick and kiss down the center of my chest. One of her hands was on my left breast already and was teasing my nipple. Sometimes her thumb would brush across it, others she would give it a small pinch as she rolled it gently between her fingers. I had no idea where her other hand was. I didn't much care.

"Please..." I wasn't above begging her. I wanted more than anything to feel her lips surround my neglected nipple. I needed the feel of her tongue flicking across it and her mouth sucking it in.

My plea and the hand in her hair persuaded her to do exactly what I needed. As soon as her lips claimed my nipple I could hear myself whimper. I felt her breath quicken against my skin to match my own. Her teeth grazed against me and I whimpered again. Her want was obvious as she drew me into her mouth. Her hand left my other breast and began a journey across my stomach toward my waist.

She undid my pants just as her mouth was moving again, this time to the other nipple. However she pulled away before it could get treated to the same affection as the other one. She stood up straight and looked down at me. Her breathing was making her chest rise and fall rapidly and her eyes were focused on me as if her life depended on it. I raised my hips as best I could while her hands moved the pants down my legs and to the floor. Finally her eyes stopped looking at my flushed face and followed the same path her hands had forged down my body.

Finally she stepped back and resumed her previous position. I could feel her lower abdomen against me but it wasn't enough to do anything but make me want more. Her mouth found the nipple that she abandoned and I couldn't hold back the moan that surfaced as soon as I felt her give it the same attention she had given the other. When her lips left me, I pulled her toward me and tried to show her how much I really did love her in a kiss. I needed Abby to know how much she makes me feel.

She moaned into the kiss and returned it with fervor. Her hands were on my legs pulling them slightly apart and I took the cue and wrapped them around her waist. I have no idea how long we stayed like that... like one figure wrapped up within itself, but it wasn't long enough. Eventually her lips released mine as she pushed me back until I was laying across the padded table. She made her way down, pausing for a few moments to give random parts of my body loving attention. My collar, between my breasts, navel, and hips were all treated to her loving caress.

She moved to sit on the little rolling stool between my legs. Her fingertips traced the lines of my legs up to my hips. She placed a delicate kiss on the inside of my knee as she placed my legs over her shoulders. I was so completely vulnerable to her, for her. I knew she appreciated the moment as she placed more delicate kisses on my skin ending with one just above the place I needed her most. Her breath was teasing me, making me wonder when I would feel her tongue. I didn't have to wait too long.

Her tongue ran the length of me and my head fell back against the padded table. She was taking her time, exploring me as if she had never done it before. With every stroke of her tongue my hips moved. I needed more contact.

"More... please..." She knew exactly what I needed and her tongue circled my clit. God, all I could do was moan. I placed my hand on the back of her head hoping to keep her there; my other hand moving to my nipples that needed attention. I mimicked the attention to my nipple to the same movement as Abby's tongue.

I knew my breathing was coming faster, I couldn't help it. She sped up her strokes. Soon two fingers were teasing my entrance. My hips moved encouraging her to enter me. She needed no encouragement as her fingers easily slid in. Her thrusts were slow, but beginning to build. My back arched. I could feel her moaning against me as I moved closer to the edge. She moved a little faster and soon I was falling. I don't know for how long or when she stopped, but when I opened my eyes I saw her hovering above me.

She leaned down to kiss me. It was sweet and gentle, the kind of kiss that only two lovers know.

We stayed like that for a while just enjoying the feeling of each other. She didn't want me to touch her, she wanted to wait until we got home. I knew she really just wanted to be able to have the freedom to move however she needed, a freedom that an exam room didn't provide. I chuckled a bit at that last thought. When this day started I had no idea where it would end. I knew when I thought back on this day I wouldn't be thinking of an exam and the emotions that come with it. No, I would be thinking about her.

She helped me get dressed, something that always made me feel like I was in third grade again, and we headed home. I couldn't help but watch her drive. There was a time I hated the sight of this woman. So much of my mother's illness was wrapped up in the doctors in her practice. It wasn't until later I realized that without Abby's shoulder during those long nights and her friendship, I would have never survived.

When I saw her again after a few years had gone by I could remember the kind words she said and the strength her presence offered me. She had a magic about her that could change my view. And I had the presence of mind to let her.

After a quick call to my dad letting him know I wouldn't be over that night, she drove me home. We got our pizza but it ended up in the fridge as we had other plans first. I'll always love this woman for coming during the darkest time and still managing to bring me joy.

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