Disclaimers: None. If you read it, you’ll understand why.
Author’s Notes: Just because I wanted to.
One Little Smile
By D
I woke up this morning and it was the first thing I saw. It made me smile in reflex. You have a beautiful smile, you know, and seeing it always does something to me. It makes me feel – so many things on so many levels and today I was determined to collect as many of those smiles as I could to see how many of those feelings I could experience with you.
That first, sleepy smile – I feel a sense of contentment. Your dreams have been good and your sleep undisturbed... and I am vain enough to think that might be in part due to me. I am content to know that you need me... that I am as essential to your well-being as you are to mine.
You yawn and stretch and I cringe as bones pop back into place. I know it feels really good after a moment, but it certainly does sound terribly painful. You glance back at me and give me a devilish grin, and I feel a sense of competitiveness. I know you are planning to race for the bathroom and you are probably going to cheat to win. That’s all right though... you’ll get yours, but I’ll get mine first. See, you don’t know that I’ve already gotten in there and come back to bed to wake you. And the next smile I’m hoping to see is one of my favorites.
You lean on the bathroom doorjamb and give me that sexy, knowing smirk. I feel a sense of anticipation. You know I find you hotter than hell with that tousled, just-out-of-bed look. I want to jump out of bed and kiss you senseless, but that smile and the smallest shake of your head keeps me in place and I wait.
The next smile you give me I feel all over my body and with it comes a sense of fulfillment. I know we are going to be late for work this morning and then all I feel is you.
When we step into the shower a little while later, you smile and I see the ultimate satisfaction of someone who has been well-loved. I feel a sense of pride. I love knowing I am the one who makes you feel that way.
A phone call while we are getting dressed makes you pout in my direction, and I know that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the day. Work is obviously going to be a bitch today, but at least I will see you for lunch. I kiss your pouty lips and get a wry smile in return. I feel a sense of accomplishment. At least you won’t start your day mad and that will make for a better day at the end for both of us.
You stop by my office with a frustrated smile and I know that means no lunch date. But you brought lunch with you and we steal a few minutes alone. I spend those few minutes working the frustration out of your smile and when you leave you give me a smile of gratitude. I feel a sense of purpose, knowing that my ability to put a genuine smile on your face means you can go out and face the rest of whatever your day has in store for you.
A knock on my office door around quitting time reveals your face and a very tired smile to match the one I know I am wearing. Without a word, I open my arms and you walk into them so we can share a much needed hug. We stay that way for a few minutes letting the world go on without us, and I feel a sense of renewal. Energy flows between us and when we separate slightly, you give me the shy smile that I fell in love with all those year ago. And when I see it, I fall in love with you all over again, only a little bit more.
We share some wine after dinner and a dreamy smile crosses your face. I wonder what causes the look and then you turn to me and I feel a sense of desire. Not that I don’t normally feel that undercurrent running beneath everything whenever we are together, but it always becomes more pronounced when you look at me that way.
I trace your strong jaw with my fingertips and watch as your eyes go hooded and your nostrils flare in response. Then without warning, your smile turns mischievous and I feel a sense of playfulness emerging. You scoop me up into your strong arms and run to our bedroom, dropping me onto the bed and covering my body with your own as the tickle battle ensues.
There’s no way for me to win of course; you’re bigger and stronger than I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t give as good as I can before my laughing and squealing makes it impossible for me to fight back... though your laughter makes it hard for you as well. Finally, however, you have complete control and I beg for mercy through my laughter and you give it a whole moments’ thought before you acquiesce with a smile of victory. It is cocky and assured and sexy. Strangely enough, I always feel protected when I see it.
Your expression shifts and your smile becomes serious – a smile of commitment. I feel a sense of eternity when you wear this smile because it is the same smile you wore when we exchanged vows on our wedding day. Gazing at one another, we make those promises again silently before you lean down from your position above me to seal those promises passionately once more.
We make love slowly and your smile is one of discovery. It makes me feel a sense of wonder. For though we have been lovers forever, your awe and reverence about our lovemaking always makes it feel new and special.
When we settle down for the night, completely satiated and pleasantly exhausted, you rest your head on my heart and the peaceful smile on your face is one of absolute happiness. I run my fingers through your damp hair and feel a sense of completeness and well-being - love... pure and simple. The feeling of loving you and being loved by you in return. I know that each and every little smile you share with me conveys that love so clearly and I realize I am very selfish.
I covet those smiles... all of them, even the ones I didn’t see today – the sad and the melancholy and the angry - because they tell me what you need from me aside from my unconditional love. Our friends and your co-workers – they don’t see the smiles I see; most of your smiles are reserved for me and me alone. And yet I always want more... always one more little smile from you because there is love for me in all of them.
You squeeze my stomach and mumble something in your sleep, but the smile remains in place. I take it and the rest of the smiles I have collected from you today and put them away in my treasure chest of memories before closing my eyes to join you in slumber. Tomorrow is a new day and I will start collecting anew. But tonight I will dream of you and one little smile.
THE END
07/06