Rock of Ages Past

Part 2

Copyright©(1999-2000) Elaine L. Becker

All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: This story is an original creation and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, real or fictional are unintentional. Any words to any songs or any poetry used in this story are attributed to their original artists in the story itself. Television and/or radio programs that are referred to in the story are not to my knowledge, real program content, but created by me solely for use in this story.

This story is about two women in love and may contain language or sexual scenes unsuitable for children or others who are easily offended by material of this nature. This is a story about same gender relationships. If you have a problem with same gender relationships, you should probably see your therapist. Hate is an illness that love can cure.

Comments or suggestions should be sent to: Womynstar@aol.com

Caer woke with a start. She quickly looked around the small earthen hut that she called home. Her eyes came to rest on the still smoldering embers in the hearth. She arose from the down-filled pallet and shivered at the coolness of the room pulling her yellow kirtle closer to her body for warmth. She crossed the small distance between her pallet and the hearth and bending down placed a log on the embers. 'It wouldn't do to let the newly rekindled fire die out', she thought as she straightened her supple form. She had a nagging feeling that this Beltaine held a promise of something to come for her personally.

It was the custom that on the eve of Beltaine, all fires throughout the settlement were extinguished, to be re-lit at dawn the following morning from the sacred fire on the Tor. The sacred fire would bring protection, good fortune, fertility, and the return of life to the people and the land.

Caer returned to her pallet and sat down, staring at the small flames that were beginning to consume the log she had placed on the embers. As the blue-green flames started to lick higher, she had a memory. The flickering blue flames became a pair of the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen. The flames continued their magic and she saw high, well-defined cheekbones, a gracefully sloping nose and a pair of full, wine colored lips set into an oval, slightly angular face surrounded by raven black hair that cascaded down over strikingly broad shoulders. The face in the flames was the one from her dreams.

Caer sucked in her breath with an involuntary gasp and closed her eyes. But not before the wine-colored lips seemed to smile out of the flames at her. When she opened her eyes again, the vision was gone. She sat staring at the hearthfire as images swirled in her mind. She was aware of an inner heat beginning to radiate through her body. There was a connection with that face. A timelessness. An old familiarity. Then the dream returned to her.

***

Caer had returned to her hut sometime after dawn on the second day of the celebrations, which had begun on the eve of Beltaine. She saw that the Druid priest had been there to rekindle the fire she had extinguished the night before. She had taken part in all of the rituals and celebrations of the day and night, except for the joining of the God and Goddess and she was spent. She had removed her long mantle and hung it on the peg that jutted out of the wall just inside the doorway. Moving across the room toward the fire, she removed her tunic and draped it across the stool beside her bed. She then banked the fire and put one more log on to keep it burning until she awoke and laid down on the soft pallet quickly falling into the dark abyss of sleep.

She dreamed of a tall, raven-haired woman with the most intensely blue eyes she had ever seen. The woman had her back to Caer, bending over the edge of a crystal clear lake and looked to be preparing to dip her hands into the water. Caer felt drawn to the woman and walked silently up behind her. Looking over the woman's shoulder, she had seen the face that had most recently looked out at her from the flames. The familiarity of that face and those eyes and her arms reaching out to enfold emptiness is what had startled her to wakefulness.

***

Caer shook herself from her musings and stood up. She poured some water from the skin hanging on the wall into the iron pot hanging on the swing arm that extended from the inside wall of the hearth. She added some dried roasted chicory and swung the arm into the hearth just to the edge of the fire. She didn't want it to boil, she only wanted it to simmer. Boiling would make it too bitter. As she waited for her beverage, she went to the small area of the hut, which served as her kitchen area and found some bread and cheese. She placed the food on the small wooden table and went back to the fire to check the now simmering liquid. It was dark in color and the aroma wafting up out of the pot stimulated her. 'Nothing quite like a good mug of chicory water to start the day off. Even if it was almost midday.' She thought as she reached for the pot with a square piece of wool that she kept close to the hearth for that purpose.

Caer picked up the pot of simmering chicory and brought it to the table placing it on another folded piece of wool that was scorched in several places. She poured it into her mug through a piece of linen to separate the liquid from the ground root and added a bit of honey from the earthenware jar on the table. While she waited for the liquid to cool enough to drink, she went to the shelf that lined half of the back wall of the hut and retrieved another pot, this one larger than her beverage pot. Into the pot she poured water from the skin and added two small potatoes, a handful of barley, an onion, and a small clove of garlic.

She picked up her mantle from the stool where she had laid it early that morning and put it around her shoulders. She shoved aside the hide, which served as her door and went outside into the bright sunlight. She walked around to the back of her hut and into her small smokehouse. She sliced a small piece of mutton from one of the large shanks that hung there and returned to her hut. She added the meat to the pot of water and vegetables sprinkled a few spices into it and set it on the iron arm, swinging it to the edge of the fire. 'There', she said aloud, 'that will be ready to eat by the time I get back from collecting plants for my dyes.'

Caer sat down on a stool, took a long swallow of her drink, and began eating her meal. As she did, images began to filter up to the surface of her mind. In her mind's eye, she saw a great circle of standing stones. She had the feeling that it was a different time and place than the one she now inhabited. The circle itself was much larger than the one that her people used for their ceremonies, but she had a very strong feeling that she had been a part of festivities that were held in that large circle in a time long past. Then the images of the stone circle were pushed aside by the image of the blue-eyed woman from the dream lake and she knew somehow, that the woman that belonged to that face had been with her at that other stone circle.

Caer looked down at the table and realized that she had finished her meal. 'Why do I get the feeling that I know her? She is no one I remember meeting, at least not in this life. And I'm sure I'd never forget eyes like that.' She smiled as she stood up and moved across the room to retrieve her herb baskets.
Caer looked up at the sky and noting the position of the sun, knew that is was a couple of hours past midday. She had about three hours before the dimness of dusk would start to set in making it too difficult to see the plants.

As she walked across the open area between the huts, she noted that very few people were in the area. Most of them would still be at the base of the Tor near the circle, continuing the celebrations that began the night before, returning to their homes occasionally to change clothes or maybe to grab a few hours sleep if they tired of sleeping on the ground.

The festivities would last for five days and nights with both children and adults dancing around the Maypole and playing games. Lovers would sneak off to favored spots in the surrounding grove to conduct their own private rituals to honor the God and Goddess.
This was also the time of year for handfasting. Caer's best friend and her young man were becoming handfasted this season. Those couples who were committed to each other could chose to be handfasted for a year and a day, a lifetime and a day or eternity and a day, or any combination of time in between. The couples would join hands and jump over a hawthorn branch or one of the other sacred trees, which was held on either side by persons of the couple's choosing. This was the only time of year that the sacred hawthorn could be used. Its branches and flowers werea symbol of hope, pleasure and protection. Hawthorn branches decorated the doorways of every hut in the small settlement.

Caer decided to go towards the south today. She knew that if she went north or east toward the Tor where the Beltaine fires burned or anywhere near the circle of stones, that she would be intercepted and urged to join in the celebrations. She had participated in the most important celebrations though this year her heart just wasn't in it. She felt like she was searching for someone or waiting for someone and deep inside, she knew that person was not here. Besides, this early in the spring, she would have better luck finding her herbs to the south where they began their growth earlier.

She walked across the grassy plain where the cattle and sheep stood grazing lazily in the warm afternoon sun. 'They don't look any worse for their run through the fires of last night,' she thought as she approached the line of trees that protected nature's bounty. Even the cattle and sheep took part in the festivities, although somewhat reluctantly. They were released from their enclosed pastures, which were their winter homes, and driven between two huge bonfires out to the open pastures of summer, where sweet new grass awaited them. No easy task for their fear of fire was high; but it was as necessary for their protection and fertility as it was for the humans. 'All part of the great circle,' she thought as she walked.

Caer began the task of searching out plants as she walked across the wide-open area. Here she found some early cornflowers, which would make a beautiful blue colored dye. For a moment, she lost herself in the memory of those eyes from the dream. Reluctantly, she pulled herself back to the task at hand. Glancing around her, she saw some dandelions off to her right. 'Ah, yes, magenta', she thought. As she walked toward the southwest toward the grove of apple trees, she collected Lady's Mantle for its' green coloring abilities, Bedstraw for red and Black Elder for violet and lilac.

It was much too early for the fruit of the apple tree, but the bark made a wonderful yellow dye and she loved the scent of the blossoms. Apple trees also symbolized choice and were useful for love and healing magic.

Caer retrieved the piece of flint from her basket and began scraping the bark from a tree. When she was finished, she broke off several twigs of blossoms, enough for a nice bouquet, placing them into the basket on top of the bark. She walked back out into the openness of the pasture and began making her way back toward her home, reaching down occasionally to pick a few more plants. As she entered the area of the small grouping of huts, she saw someone wave to her from across the common area, at the beginning of the path that led to the stone circle. She walked the short distance to her own hut and placed her baskets on the ground. Without a thought, she picked up a small twig of apple blossoms from a basket and stuck it in her golden hair. Caer waved back at the figure as she made her way across the common.

Da'an ran the remaining short distance to greet her. "Did you forget that I'm getting handfasted tonight?" she asked breathlessly. "Where have you been all day? What is wrong with you? You aren't taking part in any of the festivities. Do you feel okay?"

"Whoa," Caer smiled at her friend. "No, I didn't forget. I have every intention of being here tonight. I started my moon cycle last night and after the more important ceremonies were over, I decided to go home and rest. Besides, you know how I like to avoid being around when the coupling begins. There is no one here that interests me that way and I end up sitting alone fending off the boys who haven't found a partner and haven't gotten it through their heads that I am just not interested."
"Well, then, what have you been doing all day?" Da'an looked at her.

"I took a walk to the southern meadows to collect some plants for dyes. I had a strange dream last night, or I should say, sometime this morning and it rather threw me off balance. I just needed some space to be alone." Caer answered her.

"Must have been a good dream, want to share?"

As the two friends started walking toward the circle of standing stones, it appeared to Caer that one of the larger stones on the west side of the circle was quivering. She blinked her eyes a couple of times and it seemed to stop. Suddenly she remembered that Da'an had asked her a question.

" It was a good dream," she grinned at Da'an. "In the dream I came upon a lake. It could have been the lake on the other side of the Tor. I really didn't pay much attention to my surroundings. As I approached the lake, I saw a dark haired woman kneeling at the edge, looking into the water. I walked up behind her, looked over her shoulder, and saw the most beautiful blue eyes, in the most beautiful face that I have ever seen. We didn't exchange any words, in fact, she didn't even know I was there. It wasn't so much the dream that affected me, it was what happened after I woke up." Caer looked over at Da'an.

"Go on." Da'an said as they sat down outside the circle with their backs against one of the massive stones.

"I got up," Caer continued, "to put a log on the fire and then went back to my bed intending to let the place warm up a bit before I got up to start breakfast. As I stared into the fire, the face from my dream was there, looking out at me. I felt such a connection, a bond, that I was overwhelmed. I could see every detail of her face; the raven-black hair, the high cheekbones, the angles of her face and those piercing blue eyes." Caer paused for a moment before continuing, softly. "She smiled at me."

Da'an was looking at her with a mixture of wonder and astonishment. "I know it sounds outlandish, but that is exactly what happened. Well, not exactly," she blushed. "As the vision faded back into the flames, I felt a warmth radiate through my whole being and I felt like I knew her. There was such a familiarity. It felt like a part of me that had been missing was coming back." Da'an reached out and put her arm around Caer's shoulders, unwittingly brushing the twig of apple blossoms out of her hair, as she turned the small blond woman to face her. Neither one of them noticed when it fell to the ground at the base of the stone.

Da'an's tone of voice had changed and there was a presence that seemed to fill her. "Caer, it is the Goddess's desire to assist you if it is your desire to renew. You know nothing is strange when it comes to the Goddess and this is the Goddess's time of year. This is the season of love, new beginnings, another closing of the circle and the opening of the new. The time of blessing the continuation of life and our passage through it. At times, some people are more attuned with certain yearly cycles and at those times they are bestowed with special blessings. This is your circle year. This is the year that your circle closes and your new one begins. What you have been given is a sign or signs from the Goddess that what you most desire and has been missing from your life can return to you. It is up to you to show Her that your desire is real."

Caer took a deep, cleansing breath. "Thank you." She whispered to the priestess sitting on the ground beside her.

After several minutes, the two women stood facing each other. "I will be here tonight after the sun sets." Caer smiled, reaching out to hug her friend. "You won't mind if I don't stay all night for the celebration, will you? I have something I must do."

***

Before leaving her hut, Caer got her small lap harp from its place beside the hearth and a hand full of the apple blossom twigs she had picked earlier that day. She checked the strings on the harp to make sure it was in tune and draped the leather strap over her shoulder.
Da'an looked so radiant in her white Priestess' robe adorned with garlands of freshly picked wildflowers in colors of pink, white and yellow, woven with green vine. Her handsome young man, Kenet, accented her in his long, white Druid's robe. They had performed the Great Rite the night before in the privacy of the grove. Honoring the Goddess and asking for her blessing on their union. They now shared their commitment to one another, with the people who had become their family.
A couple of hours into the festivities, Caer looked over at Da'an who was at her husband's side. Da'an returned her look and nodded slightly. Caer got up, with her harp over her shoulder and faded into the darkness of the shadow of the Tor.

Caer was able to see her way along the path guided by the light of the moon. After several minutes, she curved off the main path to a much narrower one on the right. She followed this path for several more minutes, then found herself at a small, deep pool of water. Beside the pool of water was a basin and a pitcher carved of Willow wood. The Willow tree was a Moon tree, sacred to the Goddess, encompassing the gifts of the Mother. It brought inspiration, eloquence, and prophecy.
Caer took her harp from her shoulder and placed it on a flat stone where it would not get damp. She took off her mantle, placing it on the ground beside her and removed the rest of her clothing. She reached down, took the apple blossoms from her sparan, and went to the edge of the well. She closed her eyes and immediately found that which she was looking for. With her eyes held closed, she whispered, "So Mote It Be."

She reached for the wooden pitcher, dipped it into the Mother's sacred well, and from it, filled the basin. She bathed herself with the sacred water as she spoke to the Goddess. "Mother, I have heard you. You know my desire. If it is also the desire of the one whom I have loved and continue to love and will always love then let us be together. So Mote It Be."

Caer picked up her harp and kneeled on her mantle, the light from the moon glistening in the drops of water on her naked body. She didn't feel the chill in the air or the ground beneath her body. She was absorbed by the vision from the lake as she started playing softly on the strings of her harp.

Lady of the Lake
I beckon you
Forthwith come back to me
I lost you many years ago
Your face I long to see

Your sapphire eyes light up my night
Your smile lights up my day
Your presence e'er accompanies me
Where e'er I choose to lay

Lady of the Lake
With Raven Hair
You send me dreams of you
I long to hold you in my arms
As long past we use to do

I know not where you are tonight
Your flesh I cannot feel
But somewhere in the realm of time
I know that you are real

Lady of the Lake
If it shall be
The Goddess' desire
Let her guide you back to me
Through Samhain's sacred fire

When the veils of time are at their least
And the Gate is open wide
Will you let the Goddess walk you through
To be back by my side?

Caer stopped singing but held the still humming harp. She felt a warmth enfold her and the face of her desire smiled. 'So Mote it Be,' she whispered as she set her harp on the ground. She lay down on her mantle, pulling it around her still naked body, the image of her yearning ever present in her mind. As she drifted off to sleep, the smiling lips whispered one word. "Yes."

******

Finian heard singing. The words were unfamiliar but the voice was not. She smiled softly in her sleep. Someone was singing to her. It was a woman's voice; sweet and clear and filled with desire. It was a voice that she felt she should know. It filled her with such warmth and seemed to soothe her very soul. She rolled over and her hand searched out the face from which the voice was coming. She found her body pillow and drew it close to her with the gentleness of a lover pulling her lover's body toward her. Finian snuggled into the pillow, letting the song take her. She heard a question being asked of her through the song. "Yes." She whispered into the night.

***

Finian sat at the bar with Mich and Bobbi. They were making small talk with the waitress and Finian was watching the room behind her through the huge mirror that ran the entire length of the bar. 'How in the world did I ever let them talk me into coming here?' She thought as she picked up her rum and coke and took a long swallow. She did not go out to bars very often, especially women's bars, in fact, she had never been to a women's' bar. She steered clear of any place where someone might try to put the moves on her. She just wasn't interested. Male or female, it made no difference.

Then she realized that she hadn't let Michelle and Bobbi talk her into anything. Finian knew herself well enough that no one could talk her into anything she didn't want to do. Michelle and Bobbi had simply suggested they all go out for a drink after dinner and Finian had readily agreed. After the strangeness of the past couple of days, waking and sleeping, she felt that she could use some R & R. When they had suggested 'The Labrys', Fin had agreed again. She had always felt more comfortable around people of her own gender and even though she had never been to a woman's bar, she thought she would be more comfortable there than at a mixed establishment where the drunken men were constantly trying to 'pick up' any woman they could. She just wasn't in a mood to fight off slobbering drunks. For the most part, women had a little more class.

A Melissa Etheridge song began to play and Michelle and Bobbi got up and moved toward the dance floor. As she watched them in the mirror, she noticed a short, blond woman walking toward her. Hoping the woman would not approach her; she hunched her shoulders down and leaned forward over the bar staring into her drink and tried to make her tall, commanding body inconspicuous. When the woman walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped and looked around at her. 'Damn,' she thought to herself, 'that worked didn't it?'
"Hi, I didn't mean to startle you. Sorry. My name's Marty and I was just wondering if you'd like to dance? I'm flying solo tonight and you look like you're alone, too. I mean I've noticed that you're with your friends, but they seem to be a couple and, well, I just thought maybeÉ"
Finian looked at the short, brown eyed, blond woman and cleared her throat, "I, um, hi." She had never been asked to dance by a woman before and she wasn't quite sure how to respond. She really did not want to dance. It had been years since she had been on a dance floor, but she didn't know how to get out of it gracefully. "My name is Finian and ah, sure, I guess I could do that."

Marty grinned as the tall, raven-haired woman stood up and she took Finian's hand in hers. "Then let's go."

As Marty pulled her across the dimly lit room toward the dance floor, Finian had all she could do to keep herself from running out of the place. 'Thank the Goddess it's a fast song,' she thought as they walked onto the floor, 'I won't have to get too close.'

As quickly as the song ended, another one began, this one, an old Beatles's song. As she started to move away off the dance floor and back to her seat at the bar, Marty grabbed her hand. "Hey, come on. Stay and dance just one more with me. You're a really great dancer."

Finian looked down at the short, blond woman and was shocked to see sea green eyes looking up pleadingly at her. The eyes shining out from Marty's face seemed to sparkle. Almost a wink. She couldn't move for a second as her mouth turned up in an involuntary smile. Were those the eyes from her dream? She tried to look closer in the dim glow of the colored lights that hung over the dance floor. 'No,' she thought to herself as Marty drew her closer, 'the face is not the same. I would know that face if I saw it, I'm sure. But those eyesÉ' The face from her dream was etched into her memory. Small, round, almost cherubic, with full, almost pouty lips and wise green eyes.

Marty had her lightly in her embrace and they were moving slowly to the music.

The long and winding road
that leads to your door
will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
let me know the way

Many times I've been alone
and many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
the many ways I've tried

But still they lead me back
to the long winding road
You left me standing here
a long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
to the long winding road
You left me standing here
a long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Finian felt a stirring inside of her that she had never allowed herself to feel before. Her mind was filled with a vision of the face from her dream. Her body, of its own volition, moved closer to the woman she was holding. Her body was being consumed by a fire that was out of her control. Finian had Marty in a gripping embrace. Her arms holding something that only she could see yet did not understand. The words of the song that was playing filled her head. "You left me standing here a long, long time ago. Don't leave me waiting here lead me to your door." She sang softly but her heart was crying out loudly. To an unknown face with beautiful sea-green eyes.

The words and music changed. She was hearing a different song, different words. A song coming from inside her head, not from the speakers in the bar. Suddenly she realized that she was clutching the woman she was dancing with very tightly. The song in her head seemed to be emanating from the woman that she held clasped in her arms. The song ended and she backed away. "S..sorry. Did I hurt you?" Finian almost gasped as she staggered slightly, backward.

"No, not at all." Marty grinned up at her. "Actually, I liked it. For someone who was so quick to run off the dance floor, you sure made a comeback."Finian blushed and said something about old memories before thanking Marty and heading back toward her seat at the bar.'Whew,' Marty exhaled as she watched the tall, gorgeous woman hurrying across the floor, 'I wouldn't mind getting to know her a little better.'

Michelle and Bobbi had returned to their seats halfway through the last song. When they didn't find Finian sitting on her stool, they thought she must have gone to use the little girl's room. Then Bobbi spotted her dancing with a short blond woman. She elbowed Mich and nodded her head toward the dance floor. Michelle's jaw almost hit the floor. She stared, open-mouthed, as she watched her friend dancing in a tight embrace with the woman. The look on her face told Michelle that Finian was enraptured. Bobbi looked at Mich, then back to where Finian was holding the blond, then back at Mich. "You don't thinkÉ" she started.
"I don't know what to think." Michelle managed to get out of her mouth.

The music stopped and Finian said something to the woman and headed toward her friends. Bobbi quickly grabbed Mich's knee and swung them both around to face the bar, saying, "Put your eyeballs back in the sockets and shut your mouth."

Finian took her seat and reached for her drink. She picked it up with a shaking hand and drained the half-full glass in one gulp. Mich looked over at her. About that time, the waitress walked up to where Finian was sitting and placed another drink in front of her. As she started to protest that she hadn't ordered another drink, the waitress also put a napkin down in front of her, not under the glass, but in front of it. As Finian glanced down, she noticed some writing on it. The words were scrawled across the napkin in large letters. 'Marty-893-0071 Call me.' Bobbi and Mich exchanged a quick glance at each other.

Finian snatched up the napkin, hoping that Michelle hadn't noticed and crammed it in the back pocket of her jeans. With her other hand she picked up the drink and drained half of it. As she did so, she glanced in the mirror behind the bar and saw the blond woman staring at her from a table on the other side of the dance floor. 'Damn,' she thought, 'she probably saw me pick up that napkin and put it in my pocket and now she's going to think that I'm going to call her for sure.'
Finian looked over at Michelle and Bobbi. "I'm going to run to the lady's room. Be right back." She picked up her drink and emptied the glass. As she stood up, her legs suddenly felt like rubber underneath her. She swayed unsteadily and reached out to find something to support her, her hand coming to rest on Michelle's shoulder.

"Whoa, girl. Doesn't look like you're going to be running anywhere. Are you sure you can even walk?"

Finian looked down at her grinning face. "I'm fine," she slurred as she let go of Mich's shoulder and started to move away toward the bathrooms on the other side of the dance floor. Finian made a concentrated effort to walk a straight line without weaving. She silently hoped that no one was watching her, but knew without a doubt that at least three people in the crowded bar were.

As she approached the far side of the dance floor, she was grateful for the crowded room. She didn't want to be rude and just leave without thanking the young blond for the drink, but she didn't want Michelle and Bobbi to see her talking to her.

She glanced quickly over her shoulder as she neared the table where the woman was sitting with a couple of other people. 'Good,' she thought when she saw that her friends were deeply engrossed in conversation and not watching her. As she started to turn her head back around to monitor her progress, she slammed right into their table, spilling drinks everywhere. She came to rest, leaning forward, with both hands flat on the table, staring into Marty's face. "I..I'm sorry," she stammered. "I just wanted to thank you for the drink and now I've made you wear yours."

Marty looked up into her dark blue eyes and smiled, "You are very welcome anyhow."

Finian was relieved to see the waitress approaching them with rags in hand. She reached into her pocket, grabbed a handful of bills, and handed them to the waitress. "Drinks for all of them, please. Sorry about the mess." She nodded at Marty and turned around, forgetting that she had to go to the bathroom and headed back to the bar.
"Can we leave now?" she said, as she tried to focus her uncooperative eyes on Michelle and Bobbi. "I think I've had just about enough to drink." Michelle looked over at Bobbi, who nodded her assent then back at Finian. "Yeah. Looks like that last drink got ya, huh?" She winked up at Fin.

***

The ride home was quiet. Michelle looked in her rearview mirror and saw that Finian was leaning back against the headrest with her eyes closed. She parked the Saturn in the parking lot of their apartment building and Bobbi stepped back and opened the door for Finian. With effort, Finian raised herself to an upright position a swung her long legs out of the car, hitting her head on the doorframe as she tried to stand. "Ouch, shit, that hurt." She grumbled as she straightened up, rubbing the top of her head.

With Michelle on one side of her and Bobbi on the other, they managed to steer her in a not quite straight line to the door and across the lobby to the elevator. As the elevator started to rise, Finian lost her balance and fell against the side of the car. Bobbi grabbed for her just as she started to slide down the wall.
They finally reached the fourth floor and guided Finian out of the elevator and down the hall to her door. Fin managed to fish her key out of her pocket but was having some difficulty getting it into the keyhole. Michelle reached over and guided her hand, unable to suppress a laugh. "I think you could use a cup of good, strong coffee." As she guided Finian into the apartment and over to the black, leather sofa, Bobbi was already on her way to the kitchen.
Finian flopped onto the sofa, all arms and legs. Michelle eased her body onto the other end of the sofa and had to laugh as she watched her work at getting her tall, uncooperative body into an upright position.

"Are you okay? Can I help?" Michelle laughed.

"Don'tchoo laugh at me. Thish ish all your fault." Finian slurred. "And that. . .what wasch her name? Oh yeah, Maaty." Fin's head was kind of weaving around on her shoulders. "Now she wantsh me to call her!" She raised her dark eyebrows and her blue eyes opened wide. She reached into her back pocket, pulled out a crumpled napkin, and threw it at Michelle, just as Bobbi walked into the room bearing a tray of steaming coffee cups. As Bobbi put the cups in front of them on the coffee table, Mich picked up the napkin and straightened it out. Bobbi leaned over to see what was written there.

Michelle looked at Fin and said, "And this is my fault?"
"Yesh," Fin said without looking at her. She was eyeing the steaming coffee cup, wondering if she could manage getting it from the table to her mouth without spilling it all over her.
"Okay, I'll bite. Just exactly why is this piece of paper my fault?"
Finian had managed to get the coffee cup to her lips and decided to hold onto it. It seemed safer than trying to reach back across that open expanse of floor to the table. "'Cause, if you hadn't left me sitting there all by myself, she wouldn't have asked me to dance, that's why!" Finian sputtered. Michelle and Bobbi both laughed.
"And it was my fault that you said yes. Hmmm. . .It didn't look like you were minding it one bit when I finally spotted you on the dance floor. In fact. . ." Michelle didn't get a chance to finish. She was hit in the head with a pillow.
Bobbi laughed from her seat in the recliner on the other side of the coffee table. "Well, at least she can still hit her mark."
Finian looked at her. "Well. . ."
"Very deep subject at the moment," grinned Michelle.
'Deeper than you know,' thought Fin. She took another sip of coffee.
"So, you mad at me?" teased Michelle.
Finian shot her a look. "I don't know yet. I'm gonna sleep on it. If I don't talk to you tomorrow, the answer is yes." She looked at Michelle, then Bobbi and grinned. "And then you'll probably have to remind me why I'm mad. 'Cause I've got a feeling I'm not gonna remember much in the morning." And then as an afterthought, she added, "At least I hope I won't."
All of a sudden, she wasn't feeling so good. She put the cup down on the table and stood up.
"Are you okay?" Bobbi asked her. "Yeah. I just need to lie down. Will you guys lock the door on your way out?"
"Yeah. You sure you're going to be okay? You seem a little unsteady there."
"I'll be fine once I get in that bed." Finian teetered toward the bedroom and Michelle and Bobbi went toward the door, shutting off lights on their way and locked it behind them.

***

Finian woke up and slowly opened her eyes. "Yeow," she winced as the rays of bright sunlight sneaking around the edge of the blinds hit her in the face. 'Damn, I haven't done that since I was in college,' she thought as she tried to untangle herself from the body pillow that she was wrapped tightly around. 'First aspirin, second coffee, really strong coffee,' she thought as she swung her legs off the side of the bed and attempted to get up. As she did, the memory of last night came back to her. She let herself fall back onto the bed. She sat there clutching her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees. It hurt to think. But she couldn't keep the memory of dancing with Marty out of her head.

She tried to remember the song that had been playing at the bar last night; searching for something that may have caused her to embrace Marty the way she had. The thought of coffee and aspirin forgotten, she remembered the words, 'You left me standing here, a long, long time ago. Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to your door.' Suddenly she realized that in her mind, it hadn't been Marty at all that she had embraced. Those words had conjured up the image of the blond, green-eyed woman, again. It was the 'The Long and Winding Road, by the Beatles,' she remembered.
But that wasn't the only song she remembered. There had been another one that only she had heard. As she struggled to recall the words and the melody, her mind filled with the vision of the woman from the lake. Suddenly she remembered her dream of the night before last. The woman in the dream was singing to her. It was the same song that she had imagined she heard a fragment of when she found the apple blossoms. She reached for her notebook lying on the table. 'Dream of May second, 2000,' she wrote.

The melody of the song brought back other memories of the old Celtic love songs that her grandfather use to sing to her grandmother. But the words were none that she recalled having heard before. She picked up the pen and started writing. When she had finished, she looked at the page. There, on the page were the words that her dream lover had sung to her:

Lady of the Lake
I beckon you
Forthwith come back to me
I lost you many years ago
Your face I long to see

Your sapphire eyes light up my night
Your smile lights up my day
Your presence e'er accompanies me
Where e'er I choose to lay

Lady of the Lake
With Raven Hair
You send me dreams of you
I long to hold you in my arms
As in the past we use to do

I know not where you are tonight
Your flesh I cannot feel
But somewhere in the realm of time
I know that you are real

Lady of the Lake
If it shall be
The Goddess' desire
Let her guide you back to me
Through Samhain's sacred fire

When the veils of time are at their least
And the Gate is open wide
Will you let the Goddess walk you through
To be back by my side?

She read the words repeatedly trying to recall whether she had ever heard them at any time other than in her dream. The only other time she remembered hearing those words was last night when she was dancing with Marty. It was the song that had intruded into her head and blocked out the music from the speakers in the bar.
Finian put the notebook back on the table beside her bed, again noticing how much her head hurt. She picked up the vase of apple blossoms and brought them to her nose, inhaling the light, sweet scent.

She got up and headed for the bathroom and the aspirin. After downing three of them, she went to the kitchen and managed to get the coffee started.
She headed back to the bathroom deciding that she would jump in the shower while the coffee was brewing. The warm water cascading down around her naked body seemed to help her headache. 'The aspirin must be kicking in,' she thought as she picked up her loofa sponge and started scrubbing her body. When she closed her eyes to wash her long, black hair, the last two verses of the song filled her mind:

Lady of the Lake
If it shall be
The Goddess' desire
Let her guide you back to me
Through Samhain's sacred fire

When the veils of time are at their least
And the Gate is open wide
Will you let the Goddess walk you through
To be back by my side?

Finian felt as if someone were calling to her. The words of the song filled her with longing. A longing from her very heart and soul. Her longing would be quenched. Some part of her being knew that the song was the way to the mending of her soul.

Suddenly, other words filled her. Not a song but a prayer. A prayer to the Goddess that she had used when she was young. Along with the prayer, came the image of a flaxen-haired little girl with sea-green eyes that Finian had dreamed about often as a child, but had never mentioned to anyone.

Oh, Goddess great and giving,
My love I long to see
Through time and space
I see her face
Together, let us be.

From the time that she was very young, even before her parents had left her, Finian had felt that something in her life was missing. Something that she had lost. She had prayed in earnest for that same connection that she had seen and felt between her grandparents. She longed for that connection to another living soul. To find that part of her that was missing.

Finian was overcome by a 'knowing' that the events of the last few days had everything to do with that prayer to the Goddess of so many years ago.
She felt the water beginning to cool. 'Damned little, tiny water heaters,' she thought. 'Can't even get in one full shower.' She finished rinsing her hair and wrapping a towel around her head, stepped out of the stall.

Finian finished drying off and brushed out her long hair. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt that were hanging on the back of the bathroom door. The smell of coffee drew her back from her thoughts and she headed for the kitchen.

She poured herself a large mug of coffee and sat down at the breakfast bar. She looked over at the answering machine and saw that there was one call. She hit the message button and heard Michelle's voice.

"Good morning. Are you talking to me today? Give me a call at the office when you can function. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume you're mad at me. But you better call me anyhow, so I can remind you of why." She heard Michelle chuckling as she hung up the phone.
Finian took a drink of her coffee and glanced at the clock on the coffee maker. 'One o'clock. Damn. I haven't slept this late in ages,' she thought as she reached for the phone.

As she started to dial the phone, she had another thought and stopped. 'I really don't know how to explain the bizarre events that have happened over the last couple of days and nights. And now there's this song; the way it makes me feel. How do I explain to Mich and Bobbi that it wasn't Marty that I was dancing with, but the woman from my dreams? They're going to think that this is all about sexuality. My sexuality. My repressed sexuality,' she added cynically.
'How the hell am I suppose to convince them of something that I'm not even sure about? The one thing I am sure about is that this is NOT about my coming to terms with my sexuality! It is so much more than that!' She reached a hand to her cheek and felt the wetness there. "So much more." She whispered.
She couldn't call Michelle right now. She didn't know what to say. But she had to call her. She did remember everything that happened last night and although they were all joking, she was afraid that Michelle would really believe she was mad.

"This is getting more damned twisted all the time." She said angrily. "Lead me through that door!" That reminded her of the other problem. Marty. 'You don't have to call her,' she reminded herself. 'No, you don't Finian Delaney, but if you were in her shoes, wouldn't you think that was a pretty strong 'come on'? You just about crushed the poor woman in your arms.' Her little inner voice, her 'polite' side, was chastising her. 'Not to mention almost falling into her lap.'
'I should have just said no when she asked me to dance,' she thought. Then another thought crept in. 'But I liked it. I got lost in her. But it wasn't her. It was . . .' she didn't even have a name to go with that lovely, sweet face. And somewhere deep inside, she knew.

Finian sat there in silence. The monologue that had been going on inside her head, finally quieting. She reached over the breakfast bar to the end of the counter and poured herself another cup of coffee.

She looked at the clock as she sat back down on the stool. Two-fifteen. No wonder her coffee was cold, she thought. "Ok. Here goes," she said as she picked up the phone.

"Davis and Matthews Insurance, may I help you?" Michelle's pleasant voice answered.
"Hi, it's me and I doubt if anyone can help me." Finian said heavily. "Mich, before you. . .Are you busy?"
"Not at the moment." Michelle answered her.
"Okay, then. About last night. I can't explain it to you in a way that you would understand. Hell, I don't understand. All I know is it was not what it looked like." There was silence on the other end of the line. "Mich. Michelle. Are you still there? Michelle?"
"Yes, I'm here and I can't believe that you are saying that to me! Do you remember who you are talking to? Or have the events of the past few days fried you!? Finian. There has never been anything that you couldn't say to me because I wouldn't understand. Has there?"
'See, dammit,' Finian thought. 'I knew she'd be pissed. "Mich, it's not that I don't want to tell you about what happened last night. It's just so. . .so convoluted. I'm not even sure that I. . ., hell, I don't even understand it. How can I explain--."
Suddenly Michelle interrupted her, "I've got another call. I'll talk to you later!"
Finian sat there with the telephone in her hand. She made a sarcastic little grunt. "That's great. That's just frigging great." Now they were both pissed.
She poured herself the last mugful of coffee and headed toward her office. At the last minute, she veered off to the left and went to her bedroom instead. She grabbed the little vase and went back to the office. She booted up her computer and sipped at her coffee while she waited. She noticed the scent of apple blossoms beginning to fill the small room. She looked at the small vase, holding the twig of small, white flowers.
Finian pulled her attention back to the computer. She pulled up a search engine and typed in: 'Apple.' By following a few links, Finian found that apple trees, in Celtic lore, were considered the tree of love. Lovers often gave each other gifts carved from apple wood and the blossoms were often given as a gift to the Goddess when praying. She also found that apple trees were an ancient symbol of immortality.

Part 3

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