By: Girl Bard

girl_bard@yahoo.com

Please see Part 1 for disclaimer.

Many thanks to everyone who mailed me feedback! Keep it coming!

June 24, 2000

I splash some cold water on my face, trying to wake myself up. It’s not working. I hear Jaden and Joe laughing hysterically at the television and I groan into the mirror. Who knew Jaden was such a party animal when she was drunk? I sure as hell didn’t. She’s so sullen sometimes, and quiet but get her around tequila shots and her friends and she is a riot. So instead of enjoying her great mood I’m standing in here pouting.

I know I’m being childish, and that’s why I’m hanging out in the bathroom. They’re going to think I fell in; I’ve been in here so long.

I guess I never realized what a crummy drunk I am. I’ve only been drunk that one other time with Jaden and I had so much fun. But I think that’s because I was totally wasted. I drank enough tonight just to feel tipsy, and now that the effects are wearing off I’m in a crabby mood. Why did I think that I was the only person Jaden let herself have fun around? Why do I feel like Joe and Diana know her so much better than I do?

And why am I so selfish? That’s the real question. Shouldn’t I be thrilled that the person I love has two other friends? Why am I acting like such a spoiled baby instead of being thankful that her friends are so great?

I really do like them. They are genuine and fun and I know that they really care for Jaden. And that really matters to me, it does. But it isn’t stopping me from acting like a jealous wench.

I guess it’s because I felt special because Jaden needed me so much. But I have to deal with the fact that she can need me and have other friends. The last thing I want is for the two of us to be so tied into each other than we seclude ourselves from other people. And I would never want Jaden to resent me because I’m jealous of her other friendships. I’ve heard of so many relationships ruined by that. Believe me, you work in a bar long enough and you hear every customer’s life story.

I don’t ever want to control Jaden, ever.

"So suck it up, Grace." I tell myself, smiling into the mirror. "Go laugh at your ridiculous girlfriend and have a great time."

I head back out into the living room. Jaden and Joe are lying on the floor on their stomachs watching a tape of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and crying with laughter.

What nerds.

"Gracie!" Jaden exclaims when seeing me. She leaps up from the floor, dizzy in her efforts. "Where ya been?" She asks, hugging me to her. "Did you fall in?"

I groan and roll my eyes. I knew she’d say that. "No sweetie, I didn’t fall in." I tell her condescendingly. I reach up to pat her head and she takes my hand in hers, kissing my palm. I smile at the surprisingly intimate moment and my eyes meet hers.

Oh my. She looks downright dangerous, in a good way. Her clear blue eyes ravish mine as her lips make love to my hand. She nips and nibbles at my palm, and although we are standing in her friends’ living room I can’t help but want to take her on the floor, right now.

And then I shriek, because my devilish girlfriend licks my hand. And not a tender, loving, sexy lick, but rather a disgusting entire-palm lick that causes her and Joe to erupt with laughter. I pull my hand away, feigning anger and sit down on the couch, crossing my arms.

Joe slaps her on the back and Diana shoots me a sympathetic look. I finally give in and laugh myself, much to Jaden’s delight. She scoots over to me and plants a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"You’re just lovely." I tell her, wiping my cheek on her sleeve. "Thanks."

"There’s more where that came from baby." She says, giggling.

She’s giggling? This is a sight to behold. She looks so completely loving as she rests her head on my knee like a puppy. I run my hands through her thick hair and it feels like pure silk against my skin.

She is looking at me so devotedly, her cerulean eyes boring into mine. I smile at her and she sighs happily, her eyes closing slightly.

How could I think that just because she is having fun with Joe and Diana that she doesn’t need me anymore? From the way she’s looking at me know, how could I ever not believe that she loves me?

I need to get a grip on my issues. It’s not fair to Jaden that I’m so completely insecure all the time.

"Gracie, I’m tired." She states, her eyes closing completely. I smile tenderly at her exhausted form and know that it’s time for bed.

"Okay, let’s go." I tell her, easing her head out of my lap. "It was so nice to meet you. I had so much fun." I tell Diana and Joe as I stand.

"Grace, you’re wonderful for Jaden." Diana tells me, hugging me gently. "Thank you."

I blush, and return her hug. We had some nice opportunities to talk while Jaden and Joe were acting like children. I think that Diana is a really intelligent and honest person. I like her a lot.

Joe hugs me, kisses my cheek, and heads up to bed without so much as a word. I quirk my eyebrows at him and Diana sighs. "He’s a horrible drunk." She says, laughing.

"What do you mean? He was so much fun!" I tell her, surprised at how much I like Joe. He’s the most wonderfully sweet person, not to mention entertaining.

"He’s a crab." Jaden says succinctly, despite being drunk. "He is fun and then he gets crabby." She finishes, struggling to form the words.

"Exactly." Diana agrees, hugging Jaden and handing me the car keys. "Drive safe." She warns me and I nod solemnly. I stopped drinking before we left The China but Jaden and Joe just stopped a half and hour ago. I’m definitely driving, now that I’ve had hours to sober up.

We say our final goodbyes and head out into the cool summer night. I shiver slightly, wishing that I had brought my jacket. Jaden steps behind me and rubs her hands up and down my arms.

"Thanks." I tell her softly as I let her into the passenger seat. She settles in, pouting slightly as I get into the driver’s seat. "What?" I ask, indicating her pouting face.

"You’re driving my baby." She says, her voice childlike. I chuckle and start the Explorer.

"Jaden, I’ve been driving for six years. I’m fully capable of driving your "baby". I tell her, shifting into gear. "You will have to tell me how to get home though."

"Okay." She agrees happily, grateful for a task. It seems that when she’s been drinking, her intelligent mind doesn’t disappear, like some peoples. I’m grateful for that, I’ve worked so long at the bar and seen so many drunks that it’s refreshing to be around Jaden who retains her intelligence.

But not her common sense, I laugh to myself as I remember her karaoke performances. She looked so hilarious.

It doesn’t take long to get back from Diana and Joe’s. There is hardly any traffic at this late hour, and I know that Bean will be in need of a definite potty break.

Using Jaden’s keys, I let us in and head back outside immediately with Bean. It’s so quiet; the only sounds outside at 3:30am are the gentle rustling of the trees and the soft movement of the waves on the ocean. The harsh streetlight provides ample light for me to see the empty street and surroundings. I silently plead with Bean to hurry up.

Regardless of the silence and my obvious solitude, I’m still scared. I expect an aggressor from behind every tree, every parked car. Hating my fear but powerless to stop it, I glance around constantly and prepare myself for anything. Seeing that Bean is finished I race into Jaden’s building and up the stairs as fast as I can.

Not seeing Jaden, I turn off the lights and lock the door. I head into the bedroom, grateful that she left the nightstand lamp on for me. She’s nowhere to be found, and I assume she’s in the bathroom.

I settle Bean in her bed and take off my clothes. Jaden’s introduced me to the wonders of sleeping naked since I moved here. I always used to wear pajamas, but now the only thing I crave is her skin against mine.

Crawling into bed, I pull the covers against me. They are cool against my skin but Jaden will be in soon and she will warm me up. I sigh, feeling the familiar pangs of guilt rear their ugly heads again.

We haven’t had sex since I moved here. And I feel completely guilty and saddened at that thought. I know that Jaden’s wanted too, and I’ve wanted too also, but there is something that won’t let me "go there" so to speak, yet.

I know I need to give myself time to heal after what happened with Scott. I understand that he took my trust and destroyed it and it’s no wonder that I can’t let myself be sexual yet.

But it’s Jaden, the most beautiful and utterly sexual person I’ve ever known. And since I’ve moved here I’ve wanted too…so many times. Like tonight when she was kissing my palm, I wanted nothing more than her.

She isn’t pressuring me. In fact, she’s been amazing. Telling me it’s not my fault and it’s perfectly natural to feel the way I am, she couldn’t be more compassionate. And I know that when the time comes, I’ll be ready.

And then she appears in the doorway, and I know I couldn’t ever be more ready than I am at this moment.

Lit only by the soft bedside table lamp, her bare skin is golden. Her hair is a smoldering fire; the bright copper highlights glittering, intertwined with her raven locks.

And her eyes, they are simply beautiful, the vivid blue color visible to me across the room. They beckon me to her, and I am unresisting to their call. I slide out of bed and across the room to her.

I meet her awaiting arms and am crushed by the force of her embrace. Her strength overpowers me and is almost frightening, but my desire for her overrides any hint of fear. Her mouth meets mine, and I waste no time, my tongue meeting her immediately. She groans into my mouth and my hands race over her body.

Her eager flesh is ripe in my hands, and I am mesmerized by the soft skin that covers each powerful muscle. Backing slowly to the bed, I pull her with me.

We hit the mattress a tangle of arms, legs, and writhing bodies. I can’t kiss her fast enough, or feel her body against mine enough. Her lips caress mine, moving down to kiss my neck and shoulders. She peppers kisses and nips across my collarbone, her hands tangled in my hair. Her weight on me feels so perfect, not scary like I had anticipated. She feels so different from Scott, soft where he was hard, gentle where he was rough.

Jaden is suckling my breast, and I don’t think there is a more divine feeling. She releases my hair, one hand stroking the breast her mouth is neglecting, while the other wanton hand trails its way down to between my thighs. My breath catches in my throat, stopping her motions.

"Are you okay?" She asks, resting her weight on her forearms. Her pupils are slightly dilated, and I almost forgot how drunk she really is.

"I’m fine." I tell her, smiling gently at her concern. "It’s just been a long time and I forgot how good you feel." I blush, still a bit uncomfortable being sexual around her. She beams, relieved, and delicately begins her motions again. "Oh Goddess…" I groan, grinding myself into her hand.

"Jesus Christ Grace!" She exclaims, her eyes darkening into an ocean of blue. She rolls me onto my side, lying herself next to me. I use this opportunity to touch her as she’s touching me and she groans, closing her eyes.

I kiss her, her full lips dancing against mine. If I had my way, I would never stop kissing this woman.

My hand caresses her faster, and I can feel how close she’s getting. I want to taste her, to feel her long thighs part in anticipation. I cease movement in my hand and before she can comprehend what I’m doing, I roll her onto her back and lower myself to her. As expected, her thighs part to reveal her essence. Tentatively at first, I kiss her thighs, my tongue moving teasingly across her.

"Grace, please!" She pleads and I cannot ignore the urgency in her voice. Moving my tongue, I gently part her and taste her very core. We sigh in unison, and I eagerly give pleasure to the woman I love.

I could never forget how she tastes, and as I slide my fingers inside her she reaches her climax, screaming my name into the night.

"Grace." She states, and I know what she needs. I quietly crawl into her arms, resting my head on her heaving chest. "I love you." She whispers.

I’m surprised at the sudden tears in my eyes. "I know." I tell her, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing it. "I love you so much." I answer her, the tears falling from my eyes onto her chest.

"You’re crying?" She asks sleepily. "Don’t cry."

I lift my head and kiss her cheek, pausing to switch off the bedside lamp and pull the covers around our bodies. "Shh." I tell her, my finger to her lips. "Go to sleep, Jaden."

I settle in the darkness next to her, hearing her breathing grow even. She turns to hold me and I relish the sensation of her long body wrapped around mine.

I don’t really believe in God, I never have. Organized religion has never made much sense to me. But even though I’ve studied evolution, I still believe that there is something or someone up there.

"Please." I implore, my voice barely above a whisper in the tranquil room. "Let her always be near me, and keep her safe." My voice beckons to whomever may be listening. "Regardless of what she’s done in her past, please let her know that she can trust me."

I can’t stop thinking of her cryptic statement earlier this evening. How I was going to "hate her" when I found out the truth. I could never hate her, despite her past.

"I can’t lose her." I continue to my vacant audience. "Now that I’ve found her, don’t take her away."

Closing my eyes, sleep herself begins to claim me. My body sinks further into the soft mattress, and Jaden’s body grows warm around mine. Memories flood my mind, memories of Jaden and the bluebirds and of a freezing ocean with only her to cling too. Memories of walking with her in the forest, riding with her into battle, eating ice cream with her, and of the blinking Christmas lights of the bar. I remember taking care of her when she was ill, dancing with her at the gay bar, and fighting for her life.

I have known Jaden forever. My sleep-fogged mind tells me that this cannot be so, but I know that it’s true. I’ve known her forever and I will know her forever.

I’ve found my soulmate.

Part 5: Coming soon! Stay tuned and please email me with feedback!!!