Disclaimer: I don’t own them, so don’t sue me.
Subtext: Yes. This story contains graphic lesbian sex. Enjoy. J
Summary: This is my take on the sexual beginning of Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship, which I think probably began somewhere right after the episode "Is There a Doctor in the House?" at the end of the First Season. In simpler form, this is a "first time" story.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated. Girl_bard@yahoo.com
Something wakes me, a noise perhaps, or the heavy beating of my own heart. It’s the dream again, the same one that has been plaguing me for months.
Xena’s body; flushed with desire and pressing into mine as I writhe in pleasure underneath her, wet and aching for her touch.
Shaking my head, I clasp it in my hands. It seems so real; I can hear the crackling of the fire and actually feel her weight on mine. Her skin is smooth and soft in my hands and her breath heavy on my neck. Everything about the image is more alive than reality itself; the sights, sounds, the very color of Xena’s golden skin.
I always wake too soon, to a much grayer reality. I long for the dream to be real.
Rising to my feet, I quietly make my way down to the nearby stream, my staff in my hand for protection. If I don’t cool off now, I will never get back to sleep.
The night is calm and warm. Sitting next to the stream I dangle my feet over the edge, enjoying the slowly rushing current.
So much has happened in such a short time. I have changed from a naïve child from a small town to an Amazon Princess. I really thought I would end up settling down and marrying Perdicus, having a brood of children and becoming little more than a housewife and mother.
Xena has changed everything for me. More things than I could have ever imagined.
I can’t resist the growing attraction I have for her. Not only does it infest my nightly dreams, but my daily interaction with her. I notice everything about her now, from the shine of her cobalt hair to the crystalline blue of her eyes.
These feelings scare me, especially when the sun glints off of her angular face and I feel my breath quicken. I never once felt that way about Perdicus, or any other boy in my village.
Come to think of it, I never felt that way about any other girl either.
Just Xena.
The nighttime is the hardest. When we spread our bedrolls out on the ground, I find myself placing mine closer and closer to hers. And sneaking more peeks at her incredible body as we ready for bed or wake in the morning.
I can’t make myself stop these feelings, although I know I should. There isn’t a chance they are returned. Xena views me as her friend, nothing more. I am grateful for that much, but can’t help longing for more.
I can’t say it’s been simple; it seems like in every town there’s a new former love. Each person in Xena’s past is radically different from me. I guess I’m not her type.
But the connection we share is strong and evident, even to others. I wouldn’t trade my adventures or time spent with her for anything. Even if it means watching her fall in love with other people a thousand times, I can’t leave her side.
My libido suddenly dashed, I stand and make my way slowly back to our campsite. I don’t notice Xena’s bright eyes on me until I settle back into my bedroll and glance toward her.
"Are you okay?" She questions, sounding tired. I nod, not trusting my own voice.
"Get some sleep, we leave early tomorrow." She adds before closing her eyes.
"Goodnight." I finally whisper, but I continue to lie awake and stare at the stars.
*****
"Xena!" I wake suddenly in a state of heightened sexual arousal, sitting upright in my bunched up bedroll. My heart racing and cheeks flushed I try and will my breathing to calm.
"What’s wrong?" She responds, immediately awake and by my side.
"Nothing, just a dream." I answer, surprised to find her warm arms around my shoulders. Her touch does nothing but inflame my already overheated body.
Shrugging out of her embrace I stand quickly. "I’m fine, but I’m sorry to have woken you. I’ll just go for a walk and calm myself down."
"If you’re sure." The warrior responds, and a brief flicker of emotion crosses her face. Is it regret? Hurt? Or simply annoyance at the disturbance of yet another night of sleep?
I can’t tell.
Grabbing my staff and pulling on my boots I practically take off at a run away from our campsite.
I walk until I can walk no more, circling the campsite until it is assured Xena will be asleep when I return.
My feet aching and body weary, I trudge back to our quiet site and slip off my boots. My sleeping shift is wet from the tall grass, and feeling safe in our secluded spot, I slip that off also and hang it near the smoldering fire to dry.
My blankets feel soft and warm as I snuggle back in. Xena’s slumbering body is a mere two feet away, the very closeness of her both to my dread and desire.
Her breathing is deep and even, and when relaxed in the deepest of sleeps she appears so young and innocent, almost childlike.
The soft glow of the dying fire casts a golden hue to her already bronzed skin. Her breathtaking eyes are hidden under dark, thick lashes; her soft and full lips slightly parted and moist from her deep breathing.
What would it be like to kiss those lips? I imagine them to be warm and inviting, tender and passionate all in one. I often dream of touching those lips, to feel them under my thumbs as I gently kiss her delicate eyelids.
Against my will, my hand snakes out and gently touches Xena’s flowing hair. It is soft and thick and I barely can contain my moan as I feel is slide through my fingers.
I’ll just stoke her hair until it puts me to sleep. Closing my eyes I focus on the touch and texture of the warrior’s thick hair.
My hand becomes bolder and I begin to caress her scalp, her heavy tresses tangling in my hand.
Fully at peace, my eyes drift closed and a tiny smile forms on my lips. I feel myself gliding closer and closer to sleep and a small sigh of contentment hums in my chest.
"Mmm, Gabrielle." Xena’s ragged moan fills my ears. All motion of my hand stops and my eyes snap open.
Well, this is interesting.
*****
I slowly awaken, the bright morning sun warming my face. Stretching my toes, I begin to lift my arms above my head when I realize my hand is impossibly tangled in Xena’s hair from last night.
Oh, Gods. She’s going to kill me.
Hoping she won’t notice, I keep my eyes shut as I try to gently untangle my offending hand. When it won’t budge, I crack my eyes open, wondering if she’ll really kill me if I cut it out with her dagger.
Looking over at her, my worst fears are immediately confirmed. Bright blue eyes, filled with mirth, twinkle in my direction.
A blush immediately colors my face and I look at her, my mouth hanging open in horror and surprise.
"Gabrielle, why is your hand tangled in my hair?" Xena asks and I suddenly realize that if she doesn’t kill me, I’ll gladly die of embarrassment.
"Um, I’m sorry, it’s a habit I had when I was little. Lila would have nightmares and it was the only way to calm her down and it makes me sleepy and I couldn’t slee.."
"It’s okay." The warrior interrupts. "Hang on." She deftly uses her long fingers to release my grip from her tresses.
"Thanks." I continue to stammer and need to get away, right now. Throwing back the covers of my bedroll I stand upright and immediately see Xena’s eyes widen in shock.
The cool morning air hits my naked butt and I suddenly realize I’m completely nude. My sleeping shift, now dry and merrily waving in the breeze, lies on the other side of the cold fire.
"Eep!" I squawk as I bolt for my shift and hurriedly wrap it around myself as I concentrate on getting far, far away.
Xena’s low chuckle of laughter can be heard over my footsteps crunching through the foliage.
"Of all the stupid, idiotic, brainless things to do!" I berate myself as I head toward the small pond to bathe. "Why don’t I just throw myself down on the ground and beg her to take me?"
Still huffing and storming around, I gracelessly flop into the clear pond. Quickly dunking my head under and lathering my hair, I try and push the previous events out of my head.
Its to no use, and all I can think of is what I’m going to say to Xena when I see her.
"Mind if I join you?" The object of my affection asks, and I look up to see the tall warrior, completely and totally nude standing in front of me with a small smirk on her face.
Now, I’ve seen her naked before, either changing or bathing, but somehow she looks even more stunning than ever. I know my face must be flushed, I can feel the heat radiating from my cheeks.
"Sure." I answer quietly, my eyes downcast. As Xena glides into the water, I move to accommodate her frame. Ignoring her moans of pleasure as the cool liquid settles around her body I concentrate on finishing my bath as soon as possible.
"Here, let me wash your back." The warrior states and I nod shyly as I turn away from her. Xena’s strong hands glide over my skin and I actually have to bit my bottom lip to stop my trembling.
"Your shoulders are getting so much stronger." She says, tracing her fingers over my cords of muscle. "Remember when we first met? You didn’t have any of these." Xena continues as she runs her hands down the muscles in my back.
"Or these." She finishes, reaching around to tickle my abs. I can’t control the small giggle that escapes from her ministrations.
"Ooh, is someone ticklish?" Xena questions as her fingers deftly touch my ribs.
"Stop!" I squeal as she proceeds to tickle me relentlessly. The water sloshes around as I squirm in her hold, desperate to stop the feelings coursing through my body. Twisting sharply to the right and giggling the entire time I manage to pull away from the now-drenched warrior.
Xena’s eyes are bright with amusement.
Crinkling my nose, I grin at her.
*****
Xena’s playful mood carried over to this evening. Instead of continuing on our way today she suggested we relax and enjoy the small pond and beautiful forest for another day. We had a quiet day, talking and benefiting from each other’s company.
Now it is night, and I am terrified. Not only do I fear the dream will come back, as it has for the past moon, but that it will increase in intensity. I’m not sure how much more I can handle.
As my warrior drifts closer and closer to sleep, I lie awake and study the stars. They are so beautiful, like small drops of rain glittering against a backdrop of ink. It makes me think, as always, of Xena. Her hair is similar to the night sky, black with hints of blue and vermilion. It is beautiful.
My eyes heavy, I submit to the realm of Morpheus.
"I love you, Gabrielle. Surely you must know that. After I almost lost you, after you; died, I realized just how much you mean to me." My warrior speaks the words clearly, bright tears filling her azure eyes. "You are my soul mate." She whispers before slowly moving to my side.
"I am?" I question as her hand moves to my hip. Both on our sides, my head fits perfectly under her chin and I breathe in the sweetly smelling skin of her neck.
Tracing her hands under my shift, her smooth thigh slides in between mine. She presses her tall form into me, her breasts meeting mine. I gasp, the very feel of her taking my breath away. Gazing into her eyes I realize she is indeed my soul mate, the one person I am destined to be with for eternity. Smiling at her, I realize there is no one I’d rather have.
"Can I kiss you?" Xena asks and I am charmed by the almost bashful expression on her face.
"Yes." I answer, suddenly breathing deep. She lowers her face to meet mine, her lips an agonizing inch away from mine. She stays there, taunting me until I can wait no longer.
"Kiss me, Xena." I beg out loud before suddenly waking up.
Not again.
Sighing, I glance over to find the warrior sound asleep. Thanks to the Gods, I would have never been able to live it down if she heard.
Rising myself up on my arm, I once again study Xena in her sleep. I feel I could never tire of looking at her; such is the depth of my adoration for the tall warrior beside me.
The steady rise and fall of her chest is a constant comfort, as my mind plays memories of her near death caused by Callisto, and my reaction to losing her. I don’t think I have the strength to go through that again, and as I watch the peaceful sleep of my love I quickly pray to the Gods to spare us both from further pain.
I dreamt that Xena and I are soul mates. It felt so right to be in her arms.
Needing to be close to her, I let all my inhabitations go as I scoot over to her side and press my body into hers.
She immediately curls her tall frame around mine, her arms resting around my waist.
Comforted, I feel finally able to return to sleep. "I love you, Xena." I whisper, knowing she can’t possible hear me.
"Love you too." The warrior murmurs. I look at her closed eyes in shock.
"Do you?" I ask, suddenly breathless.
Her sleepy eyes slowly open, the crystalline lapis color never ceasing to amaze me. "Of course I do, surely you must know that by now." Xena responds, her voice rich with sleep.
"I think I’m in love with you." I continue, tearing my eyes away from hers in fear of rejection. "I feel things, Xena, and see things in my dreams."
"What kinds of things?"
Embarrassed, I start to pull away from her embrace. The warrior’s arms tighten in her hold and refuse to release me. I don’t answer; my eyes filling with tears instead as I frantically try to hide my face.
"Gabrielle." Xena’s low voice orders. "Answer me."
"Things I shouldn’t be seeing or feeling." My words rush out, loud in the otherwise quiet clearing. "You and I kissing and touching."
A frank look of surprise appears on the warrior’s face. "Really?"
I lower my eyes in dismay. "Yes."
"How did that make you feel?" She asks, the corners of her full mouth quirked in a slight grin.
I have no choice but to be honest with my best friend. "Wonderful. It felt safe and right. It felt like love."
"Because it is." My warrior responds and I realize she is about to kiss me. My mouth slightly opens in anticipation, and suddenly I fear this yet another dream from which I will awaken.
Xena stops, suddenly releasing me from her embrace and moving away from me. My body instantly misses her touch and the absence of her warmth almost causes me to cry out.
"I don’t understand." I tell her, confused as to why she stopped.
"Shhh." Xena answers, putting her finger to my lips. "I do love you, Gabrielle. Surely you must know that. After I almost lost you, after you; died, I realized just how much you mean to me." My warrior speaks the words clearly, bright tears filling her azure eyes. "You are my soul mate." She whispers before slowly moving to my side.
"I am?" I question as her hand moves to my hip. Both on our sides, my head fits perfectly under her chin and I breathe in the sweetly smelling skin of her neck. It is the scene from my dream perfectly replayed, and I have the urge to pinch myself to be assured I am awake.
Tracing her hands under my shift, her smooth thigh slides in between mine. She presses her tall form into me, her breasts meeting mine. I gasp, the very feel of her taking my breath away.
"Now can I kiss you?" Xena asks.
"Yes." I answer, suddenly breathing deep. "Please."
My warrior’s mouth is warm and soft, just as I had hoped. Her smooth lips caress and playfully nip at mine, and the low hum of desire she makes causes me to push closer into her.
I’ve been kissed before, but never by anyone I’ve loved so deeply. It’s an entirely new feeling, and as her tongue melds with mine I realize I am found.
Without breaking contact, Xena rolls over, her entire weight pressing into mine. A more divine feeling I cannot imagine and my legs instinctively spread as her hips grind into mine.
With a ragged breath, my warrior breaks the kiss. Her lapis eyes study mine as her body, flushed with desire presses into mine. I writhe in pleasure underneath her, wet and aching for her touch.
"I want you, Gabrielle. All of you." Xena breathes, her pupils dilated with desire.
"Please, take me." I answer as I thrust my hips into hers.
"Are you sure?" She asks. "This will change everything."
I nod. "That’s what I’m hoping."
Flashing me a wide smile that reveals her white teeth, my warrior nips at my neck before pressing kisses to my exposed shoulders. Her mouth, hot and wet, eagerly consumes my overheated skin.
"Off." She demands, tugging at my shift. Before I can slip out of it, her strong hands tear it at the seams and toss it aside.
My body revealed to hers, I don’t have time to feel shy. Xena’s large hands grab handfuls of my skin as she studies me like I am a prized gem.
"You are perfect." She tells me, her gaze starkly honest.
"I want to feel you." I answer, tugging her shift above her head. My body temperature goes up another ten degrees as her scorching skin meets mine for the first time.
"Gods." A ragged moan escapes my mouth as her nipples scrape against mine.
Xena’s hand traces my stomach down to my hips and the junction of my thighs. She tickles me briefly before taking my hand in hers and bringing it to her warm center.
"Please." My warrior pleads, her fingers twitching with excitement.
"I’ve never…I mean.." I suddenly stammer, feeling foolish of my naiveté.
The smile that Xena rewards me with instantly ceases my fears as her fingertips gently explore my wetness.
She encourages me to do the same and I tentatively touch her. She is so hot and wet and I can’t control the hiss of pleasure that escapes from my lips. Her fingers touching me grow bolder, slipping around and slightly in.
My breathing increases as I spread my legs further apart, encouraging her to where I want her most. Xena’s hips thrust against mine and she claims my mouth in hers once again.
Kissing me savagely, she pushes two fingers into me. The sharp, sudden pain is quickly erased by a feeling of fullness and completion.
"Are you okay?" She asks, stilling her motions. I smile at her concern.
"Never better. Please, don’t stop."
With a growl, the warrior’s mouth meets mine, her fingers gliding sensually in and out while her thumb caresses my most sensitive area. It is perfection, never did I think anything could feel this good.
My fingers slip inside her and she bites down on my bottom lip as I match her pace, thrusting in and out.
Urging my warrior to take me harder and faster, we work ourselves into a sweet frenzy until I am flying over the edge of release. Xena presses her lips to mine to silence my frantic cries and screams, and soon I am sated and panting with ecstasy.
She trembles on top of me, pleading with me to keep touching her. I do, I can’t get enough, and soon she is shaking and crying out to the heavens above.
Her strong form stills, and my fingers slip out of her. Groaning, she rests her head on my shoulder, her breathing deep and irregular.
Xena begins to remove her fingers and I clamp my hand down on her strong forearm. "Please, stay. Just a while." I ask and she smiles softly.
"Anything for you." She responds, her free arm softly stroking my hair. "I love you."
My eyes grow heavy. "I love you."
The last thing I remember is the soft kiss Xena places on my lips and the sweetness of her voice as she sings me to a sleep void of dreams.
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