Subtext: Yup, all the way through the story ... if this bothers you or if you are too young, please don't read this story.

Violence: No, not really. Some fist-fights maybe.

Language: I don't use English in my day to day life so I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes. You're welcome to point them out to me, though. <smile> Oh yeah ... I'm using 'proper' English spelling - just thought I let you know...

Setting: There are not a lot of stories out there set in Europe so I thought I might change that. (My being European and all ... <smile>) Set in northern Germany. A town called Lübeck. All the places, streets and bars are real. And it's a beautiful little town....I tried to keep German to a minimum - just some phrases now and then....

A Final Note: For all of you who read "Falling"…………this is going to have a happy end. I had to promise……<smile>

A Final Note - Part 2: Okay, unlike I had said - this isn't the conclusion....yet....but Part 8 will be. J Please be aware that it will be a bit of a ‘rocky' road until the happy ending I promised. Those of you who read "Falling" know what I'm talking about. <smile> Please consider yourself warned!!

And Thank You for being so patient!! <smile>

A special Thank You to Lisa for the translations! Tack så mycket! J

Jag ber dig -please

Tänker du slutföra det här - Are you going to finish what you started?

Jag saknar dig - I miss you

Hur länge har du varit vaken - How long have you been awake

Any comments are welcome: gritjahning@hotmail.com
 
 

From the moment that we met
I knew that we would connect
Your eyes had told me that somehow we shared a history
Feeling fearless I took a chance
Couldn't let the moment pass
I felt that fate had played a hand
And brought you here to me
But happiness can be short-lived
And pain can bring you to your knees

<chorus> Don't think
That I'll get over you
Don't know
If I can make it through
My darkest days without you in my life
And don't think
That I can face the pain
I'll never see your face again
I close my eyes and wonder when will it ever end

Got as close as we could be
Felt that you could see through me
You read my mind, you knew my life
Became a part of me
Took for granted precious time
Thought we had it on our side
By some cruel twist of fate
I had to watch you fade away

<chorus> Don't think
That I'll get over you
Don't know
If I can make it through
My darkest days without you in my life
And don't think
That I can face the pain
I'll never see your face again
I close my eyes and wonder when will it ever end

*"Over You" written by Gabrielle/Jonathan Shorten

now

Thin, crystalline forms slowly worked their way along an icy wind shield. Beautiful, fragile architectures of snow. Caressed by the cold wind that was still brushing through the snow....whirling it along the parked car.

It was cold. The tall form sitting in the car shuddered a little and wrapped her coat tighter around herself. Pale eyes simply watching the house across the street.

Watched as light was turned on in the kitchen as well as upstairs in the bedroom.

Watched the dark shadow of a small form.

The skin of her face was still tight were the tears had dried a little while ago. Just seeing Liv had torn her apart. Left her aching. All the things she wanted to say....do.....

She just wanted to take her into her arms.....

And make it okay again. Everything that had gone wrong two years ago.

Her breath was a curling cloud in front of her. Misting the sight of snow-crystals on the glass for a brief moment. "...all the things I should have done two years ago..."

But she hadn't.

Remembering those moments of dark, heavy silence between them. All the words that had been there but hadn't been said.

Remembered the look in those green eyes.

And the soft sound of the door as it had closed behind her.

Sometimes you walk through a door and you close it deliberately. And sometimes it closes no matter how hard you fight to keep it open.

Or it closes because nobody tries to keep it open.

The two of them stood on an open field and they were both pushing against a door standing in the middle of the field.

In a way it was all they had left.

Because they weren't ready to let go. Not yet.

Maybe never.

But they had needed time. Time to figure out a way around the door. Time to let the pain inside heal.

The snow sighed in surprise as the tall form stepped out of the car. Standing next to it like a dark, lost shadow. The muscles in the jaw of chiselled features working. Long fingers brushing through the crackling strands of dark hair.

But maybe all they needed to do was let go of the door. Or the pain inside....

Rayne moved forward. Slowly. Hesitantly.

And she knew that she needed Liv to let go of the pain. Needed to feel the warmth of her body. Needed to look into those eyes to know that it was all right.

All right to let go.

Finally...

A line from a song popped into her mind. Something about turning back the time. Pale eyes traced along the quiet silhouette of the house. Maybe not turning back the time....but doing it right this time.

She was close enough for the warm, yellow glow of the light to hit her tall frame. Outlining her features in sharp contrasts. Highlighting the shadows underneath her eyes. The tired expression on her face.

The longing in pale blue eyes.

She was tired of running.

She just wanted to come home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

then

Seagulls were floating on a strong wind that brushed along the beach. Their shrill cries echoing along the faded green of the pastures. Waves were crushing against the cliffs of the coast. Their liquid bodies bursting into white foam.

It was cold.

The herd of sheep grazing atop of the cliffs were huddled close together. It had been raining for three days and the pasture was soaked through. Loud squishing sounds audible with every step of the sheep.

But the rain had stopped earlier this morning. And now the wall of grey covering the sky was slowly, ever so slowly dissolving.

Now and then, streaks of pale blue visible.

Even the sun peeked through from time to time. To tickle puddles of water....just to hide behind the still lingering clouds again.

Casting wildly moving shadows across the small cottage located near the coast. It was old. But it didn't look shabby- just worn from the wind, the salt in the air and time. Sheltered to one side by large oaks whose limbs were hanging low over the roof. The formerly white walls of the house covered with wild vine.

The backyard was neatly kept. Carefully trimmed apple trees to one side. Their naked limbs swaying to the music of the wind.

In one corner stood a handmade bench and three chairs around a well worn table. The table itself cut from the massive body of an oak.

The garden lay peaceful. Not even disturbed by the racing wind that was playfully tugging at the window shutters. The old wood groaning in frustration.

Rose sighed.

This wasn't the kind of weather she had hoped for on Christmas. Another brief glance of the sun. Well.....it could be worse.

Behind her the kitchen was filled with the overwhelming scent of freshly cooked meal. Potatoes. Meat. Vegetables.

Mixed with the soft scent of hot chocolate.

A small smile played on her lips. Rose knew that Liv loved hot chocolate.....and by the time the two would arrive from the airport they would be more than ready for something hot.

A soft chuckle. Something hot to drink, anyway.

Rose shook her head. Not quite believing she actually had thought that. Pulling her hair, once dark but now a curious mixture of grey, into a loose knot, she started working on the dough for a cake she had planned on baking for her girls.

Whistling softly. The small smile never leaving her face.

Her girls.

How nice that actually felt. To be able to say that they were her girls. How good it felt to see Rayne this happy. This peaceful.

Her daughter had always been a free spirit. Never really fitting in with the other children in the Flamborough, a small village at the East coast of England. She did have friends....few but close friends and yet, she had always been a loner of some sort.

Spending countless afternoons sitting at the beach just watching ships go by.

Or watching whatever those pale were seeing. Somewhere far away...

She had her father's eyes. Rose stopped her work for a moment to brush a stray lock away. The same intense look. The same strange pale blue.

They had been alike in so many ways. Not just the looks. Rayne as tall as her father. Her features an eerie copy of his. But inside as well. So many characteristics that Wayne had, she found them again in her daughter.

The quiet....the thoughtfulness.....the smiles.....the way they gave themselves totally when they loved.

And although they had been close....it had been a strange kind of closeness. They could spent days out on the sea. When there was nothing but the two of them and a few seagulls and fish.

And they wouldn't exchange a word.

Just being together was enough for them.

She remembered Rayne's birth. The way he had stood at her bed just looking down at the tiny creature in his arms. He had touched one finger to the top of her head. Gently ruffling the soft hair there.

She had never seen him cry - until this day.

And he had loved his little girl. So proud of her. But he couldn't change who he was.....and how he was brought up. So when Rayne told them that she was gay.....it had been difficult for him. He had tried....had wanted to say so many things.....and in the end he hadn't had the chance to say them.

Rose straightened a little. Her lower back aching. But she was sure that he would have loved Liv. Would have been so happy for his little girl.

She swallowed and blinked tears away.

This certainly wasn't the time to get sentimental.

The window shutters rattled again and she took a few steps closer to the window. Looking out into the front-yard. Watching the trees sway softly. The wall of grey clouds hadn't disappeared as she had hoped and even as she watched a soft drizzle set in.

Rayne would hate this. Especially the rain, because Liv had caught a real bad case of flu two weeks ago.

Rose washed her hands and moved to the living room. Sitting down in the big, soft arm chair near the fireplace. Taking the time to study the brightly decorated Christmas tree in the opposite corner.

Remembering the phone call she had got last week.

Rayne had sounded so worried. Her voice almost desperate as she had told her that Liv actually had to spent two days at the hospital because the fever had risen so much.

Rose doubted that her daughter had slept those two days. Unwilling to imagine what would have happened if.....

No! No, there was no good in thinking like that. It took a moment until the chill down her back disappeared.

But Liv had recovered. Was still a little weak....and still on leave from work. That's way they had decided to spend Christmas here.

Which Rose was more than grateful for.

Brown eyes turned towards the clock over the mantle. They should be here any minute now. The older woman already feeling the happy tickle in her belly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rayne, I am fine." The soft voice didn't sound annoyed just tired.

"Right. That's why you are coughing like that." The lower voice carried a hint of annoyance but more than that worry.

Rose sighed.

The taxi that had brought the two women and their baggage, honked once and then headed back to the village.

She had heard the voices before she even opened the door and by doing so she watched green eyes turn her way....and roll in a gesture that didn't need words.

Biting her lower lip to hide a smile, she pulled Liv into a hug. "Hi, honey." Barely able to stop herself before she asked how Liv was doing.

"Oh great....I don't even get a hello."

Rayne's voice was teasing as she moved past the two smaller women and put down their stuff. Stretching her tall frame to ease stiffened muscles.

Rose released the small blonde who was now smiling and turned to her daughter. Resting her hands on her hips, she took a deep breath.

But couldn't get out a word as Rayne dropped a soft kiss on her cheek and said: "Love ya, too, mum.....is that dinner I smell?"

And with that Rayne disappeared in the kitchen.

She heard the gentle laughter at her back. Shaking her head, she turned to Liv. Rubbing her arms a little. "I know, I know....I shouldn't ask but....how are you?"

Liv smiled. Those amazing green eyes dancing in affectionate amusement. "Better. I still get tired a lot faster but the fever is finally gone. The coughing is still persistent but my doctor said it should be better in a week or so."

They looked at each other for a silent moment. The muffled sounds of pottery being moved in the kitchen drifted their way. Along with a pleased sound.

"She is still not sleeping right. I woke up the other night to find her sitting next to the bed watching me."

Rose didn't even need to ask the question. Liv more than willing to tell her how Rayne was doing.

"I think, it scared her pretty bad." A soft whisper.

"Yes. Yes, I am afraid it did...." Rose released a slow breath. "....just be patient."

A bright smile and Liv hugged her again. "I will."

They turned to find a tall form standing at the doorframe of the kitchen. "Are you coming. I am hungry."

"You, young lady....are going to wait until everybody is ready."

Rayne scowled at her and then slowly her lower lip moved into a pout. Which quickly transformed into a gentle smile as Liv's small frame settled against her side. Caressing her belly in a soft motion.

Rose smirked and moved into the kitchen.

Oh yeah....this was going to be a great Christmas.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The fire was crackling softly. Sparks bursting into the air as one of the logs finally gave in to hungry flames. The wood glowing in a deep red.

Pale blue eyes watched the flames dance in carefree abandon. Caressing along the logs in an almost sensual way. Slow. Teasing....

A soft chuckle. I certainly have an one-tracked mind, don't I? The dark head moved. Pale eyes watching gently features, relaxed in sleep. One small hand curled around her thigh. A fair head resting in her lap. Yup, sure do.

Liv moved a little and pulled the blanket closer around herself. A brief cough tightening her body. Pale brows wrinkling.

A motion mirrored on dark brows.

Rayne reached out and smoothed them out. Gently. Lingering on warm skin. Unconsciously checking for fever.

Releasing a slow breath. Immediately turning her thoughts in a different direction. Fighting the image of Liv's pale face....the way those green eyes had shone with fever....her hand brushing wet bangs to one side....the way the small frame had tightened in pain with every cough....

Then soft footsteps alerted her to her mum's approach.

"Hey, honey....you're tea." Her mother handed her the gently steaming cup and sat down in the armchair next to the sofa. A soft smile as her eyes came to rest on the small frame curled into her daughter's body.

Then she looked up. Not for the first time catching the haunted expression on Rayne's features.

She curled her legs under her and leaned forward a little. Touching Rayne's arm. "How are you?"

Those blue eyes didn't meet her gaze. "I am fine."

Rose stayed silent. She could wait as long as it would take for her daughter to make the first step. Having learned that lesson a long time ago. Another thing she had in common with her father.

It didn't do any good to force them into talking. They would only close up tighter.

So, she sat there. Watching the fire. Hearing Liv's deep breathing. Able to detect the slight rasp to it.

Outside darkness had dropped over the coast. Leaving only the sounds of the sea in its eternal struggle.....And from somewhere the lonely cry of an owl echoed through the quiet.

Then the low voice. Softly. "I am fine....now. But it was too bloody close, mum." Pale eyes looked at her. Silent tears sparkling in the blue depths.

It hurt Rose to see her daughter like that. Fighting to keep her composure. To be strong.

"It's all right, honey..."

A weak smile. Large hands that touched fair hair in an amazingly gentle caress. Saw Rayne swallow. The dark head moving in a slow nod. "I know.....but it shook me up pretty good."

They both turned to watch Liv.

Then Rose chuckled a little. At Rayne's surprised and questioning look, she said: "You know what your father would have called her?"

Rayne smiled.

"Pretty little lady," they said in unison. Rayne even managing to imitate her father's deep, hoarse voice.

They both chuckled. Efficiently dispelling the heaviness that had settled.

Rose reached out and rubbed her daughter's arm. "Why don't you go to bed, huh?....I am going to close the shutters and lock the door."

She was about to suggest waking up Liv but fell silent as she watched Rayne get up. Simply lifting the small frame into her arms.

Liv stirred briefly. Mumbled something and then turned into Rayne's chest. A small, happy sigh audible.

Pale blue eyes winked at Rose. "She's cute, huh?"

The older woman shook her head and swatted playfully at her daughter. And then waved her off to the back of the house where Rayne's old bedroom was located.

Watching her leave the living room. For a moment just enjoying the warm feeling in her chest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rayne slowly, gently put Liv on the bed. Careful not to wake her up. Looking down at her, she smiled. Then started removing her socks. Not able to resist the urge to tickle small toes.

As she looked up she saw sleepy green eyes blink at her.

"...hey..."

Liv uttered an incoherent sound. Not really awake but nevertheless very aware of Rayne's closeness. "...kyss..."

The taller woman chuckled. But obeyed and dropped a gentle kiss on pink lips. Lingering to enjoy their softness.

"I need to undress you, okay?....You can't sleep in your jeans."

Any response Liv might have had was left unspoken as she felt warm hands work on the buttons of her pants. Teasing fingertips caressing her belly.

She moved a little. A tickle of warmth and desire making its way through her body. Evaporating any trace of sleepiness left.

A soft moan as her jeans were pulled off and gentle hands caressed her thighs. Moving upwards to playfully tug at the waistband of her underwear.

"You okay?"

Deep green eyes opened and Liv only nodded. But she saw the worry in those blue eyes. Sitting up a little, her hand caressed chiselled features. Smoothing out dark brows. "I am fine, Rayne....."

"I know, it's just....." A soft sigh. And then she was caught in intense blue eyes. "I can't lose you."

"You won't."

Rayne had moved and now sat next to Liv. Her shoulders dropped in a strange defeated way. "I'm scared."

The small blonde released a slow breath. This was the first time that Rayne had voiced her fear. That she let her see this part of her that had been scared to death while she had spent two days in the clinic.

It had worried her. Rayne tended to keep everything inside. Especially things that hurt her and she wouldn't talk about it with anyone. Although, just one look into those expressive eyes would say more than words.

"It is okay to be scared."

"Maybe...." The dark head moved and pale blue eyes looked at her. Tracing along her face as if to burn its image into her mind. "It would have killed me."

"Rayne..."

A warm hand on her cheek. "I know, I know....I shouldn't think like that.....but...." A deep breath. "It scared me."

Her answer was a gentle kiss. Soft. Reassuring. "I am here....I am okay.....and I am most certainly not going anywhere."

The expression on Rayne's face was a curious mixture of amusement, longing and fear. Liv smiled and moved closer still. Their bodies touching. Tilting her head, she winked at her lover. "Tänker du slutföra det här?"

Rayne chuckled. "Didn't know that I started something." But even as she sat those words her hands tugged at the sweatshirt Liv was wearing. Searching for warm, soft skin.

Releasing her fears as she watched Liv close her eyes. The small frame arching into her body as her lips closed around soft flesh. Her warm breath leaving a trail of goosebumps. "Then again..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sky was a clear carpet of velvet black. Twinkling spots of light looking down at a world enfolded in coldness. Frost a shining white coat covering trees and grass.

Rose took a deep breath of the chilly air and released it slowly.

It was close to midnight and there wasn't much noise except the sea that burst against the rocks reaching out into the water. Behind the hills that surrounded her property she could make out the dull shine that was the Flamborough.

She turned and switched on the night light for the porch and then closed the door behind her. Locking it, she turned off the light in the living room. Leaving only the golden shimmer of the Christmas tree to illuminate the room.

The fire had burned down to a few glowing embers that now and then crackled. Mists of sparks flying up....to fade into nothingness.

Watching them for a moment, Rose smiled. She had already placed the gifts for the girls under the tree and was more than a little curious as to what the two would give her. They had hinted at something special.....both their eyes twinkling. It had made her wonder....

Well, she would find out soon enough.

Heading to her own bedroom, she stopped as a strange sound drifted her way. First she didn't know where it came from but then she heard it again.

It was a soft whisper. A breathless moan that formed into an equally breathless: ".....Rayne...." She heard the rustle of cloth and then again the soft voice. "...Jag ber dig...." A low chuckle followed that was unmistakingly her daughter's.

Rose felt the heat up in the tip of her ears and hurried into her own bedroom. Not quiet believing she was actually blushing. It's not like she didn't know that they....you know....but it was one thing to know it - and another to hear it.

Then slowly a smirk appeared. Of course, it would be a lot of fun to tease them about it in the morning. Mmh....

The smirk didn't disappear as she turned of the small light on her night stand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had snowed.

Pale eyes traced a countryside drowning in fluffy white. Trying to remember her last white Christmas.....Not that it mattered. Christmas always meant that her father would be home - and that they could spent a lot of time together. Maybe built snowmen. Use her mum as target for some mean snowball attacks...

A wistful smirk shaped red lips.

Taking another sip of her coffee, she watched the steam curl in front of her. Its heavy scent filling the kitchen she stood in.

It was still early in the morning.

She had carefully got out of bed. Knowing that Liv still needed her rest. Standing next to the bed, she simply had watched her sleep.

Amazing how colourful your future can seem when you have someone you love to share it with you. Their future...

Amazing how right that felt.

The smirk turned into a gentle smile.

"Do I even want to know what you're smiling about?"

Rayne didn't turn around as she heard her mum's voice. But the smirk appeared again as she said: "You'll find out soon enough."

Her mum's amused chuckle tickled her back and she turned a little to look at her. "Morning, mum."

"Morning, honey......" This time it was her mother's turn to smirk. Rose watched in amusement as dark brows wrinkle in confusion. "Did you sleep well?"

"Um...yes. Yes, we did." Rayne not quite sure what her mother was getting at. But the dark eyes just watched her and then her mother wriggled her brows at her.

It took a moment but then understanding dawned in pale eyes. "Oh my god..." Rayne groaned and covered her eyes with one hand. "Tell me, you didn't."

Her mother laughed and then lifted her hands in a gesture of innocence. "I didn't.......really.... it was an accident. I was on my way to my bedroom and.....you know. It's an old house and the walls are thin...."

Rayne shook her head. Fighting the blush she felt creeping along her neck.

"Don't worry, honey....I'm a grown woman. I know about...." Rose cleared her throat. "You know....sex."

This time Rayne laughed and again shook her head. But then she pursed her lips. Well, two could play that game.

"Well, you know...." She sauntered over to the counter to put her cup down. Deliberately keeping her back to her mother. "We need to practise for your Christmas gift."

Silence.

Then a surprised cough. "Pardon me?"

Rayne bit her lower lip to keep the chuckle inside. But before she could continue her little revenge a soft, sleepy voice sounded from the door.

"....Morning...." The small form standing in the door was wrapped in a white bathrobe that seemed to swallowed her. Bare feet making soft sounds as she entered the kitchen.

Rose was still trying to make sense out of her daughter's words as Liv walked over to her lover and simply cuddled against her chest. Immediately feeling a pair of warm arms surround her in a gentle embrace.

Rayne dropped a soft kiss on dishevelled blonde locks and smirked at her mother. Unconsciously rocking the small frame in her arms.

"Excuse me when I interrupt this lovely scene but.....what exactly do you mean by practising for my Christmas gift."

A muffled sound....and Rayne actually felt Liv's blush through the thick sweatshirt she wore. "You didn't..." An somewhat embarrassed whisper.

"Hey...she started it." The taller woman actually managed to sound indignant. Although, the smile never left her eyes.

Liv didn't move much....way too comfortable in her warm nest of love and the scent that was Rayne. Just enough to blink sleepy green eyes at Rose who by now was tapping her foot impatiently.

"What Rayne means.....you're supposed to be a mormor by next Christmas so, yes....in a way....we do need to practise." The last was said with a cute smile shaping pink lips.

Dark eyes blinked at the pair cuddled together against the kitchen counter. Than they narrowed in contemplation. "Mor...what?"

Rayne rolled her eyes in mock-frustration. "Grandmother, mum."

The suspicious look didn't leave Rose's face. Until the word ‘grandmother' finally hit home and then a high-pitched squeal echoed through the kitchen.

Rayne and Liv looked at each other. Blue eyes winking at smiling green. "Guess, it was the right gift, huh?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

now

The rustle of clothing being removed was drowned out by the rush of warm water tumbling into the bathtub. Steam already drifting through the air....misting the mirror. Blurring the image of the naked form that slowly stepped into the tub. Hesitating a moment to take off a delicate necklace. Trembling fingers tracing the small image of a bird fastened to it.

Pausing to give her body a chance to adjust to the warmth of the water.

Then green eyes closed as the small frame was swallowed by scented water. A soft sigh that stirred the steam... She hadn't been able to sleep and had decided to take a bath. It usually calmed her down.

She moved a little. Remembering that Christmas hadn't helped, either. Those blue eyes had been so alive with joy and.......A hand reached up to brush wet bangs away. To come to rest on her stomach. Her mind suddenly alive with the memory of one night only a few weeks after they had returned to Lübeck.

It had been a long day at the clinic. It had been a long week, really. Both busy since the bar was about to get newly decorated and painted. Rayne spending more time than usually there. They hadn't seen a lot of each other. Both tired and a little cranky.....craving some quiet time with each other.

And that evening when she had come home late again, Rayne had already been waiting for her. Not saying a word. A teasing kiss claiming her lips while knowing hands had gently undressed her and led her to the bathroom. The soft scent of pine lingering heavily in the air. They had settled into the tub. Her back against Rayne's chest....safe arms wrapped around her waist.

It had been bliss. Just floating on the emotions she actually had felt emanating from Rayne. The soft touch of restless fingertips on her hips. The low voice whispering in her ear. Warm breath caressing her neck.

Until this moment she hadn't been aware of how much you could miss a simple touch. How much she had missed Rayne touching her. The way her hair tickled her belly while a warm tongue traced down her body...

And then she had felt warm, curious hands move up her chest. Cupping her breasts in a gentle touch. Yet not lingering there for long as soft lips nibbled at her neck and one hand moved along. Caressing her belly in a fleeting touch....to disappear beneath the water.

She had tilted her head to allow Rayne better excess as her body had been set on fire by the hand teasing her inner thigh. Then a low whisper had brushed her earlobe....even as the hand had changed direction a little. "I missed you...." At this point she had been beyond any response - verbally anyway - as her body arched into the tall frame at her back. Green eyes disappearing behind closing lids. Soft moans stirring the air around them...

Liv opened her eyes.

Her entire body hurting just remembering Rayne's touch. The smiles....her eyes. That low voice that always reached deep inside her. Caressing her soul like a gentle tickle.

Water splashed against the small frame as she moved. Pulling her knees tightly against her chest, she ignored the cool air brushing her back.

Ignoring salty tears caressing her cheeks....to dissolve into nothingness as they were greeted by softly steaming water.

"....Jag saknar dig...." A soft whisper. Barely stirring the air.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

then

"He's going to freak." The voice sounded anxious. Nervous hands brushing through already disordered blonde locks.

"No, he won't....and stop fidgeting." A pair of large hands covered smaller ones. Holding them in a gentle grip. Pale blue eyes searching green. "It is going to be okay."

"How do you know?" The comment was a little more biting than Liv had intended and she closed her eyes. "...I'm sorry..."

Rayne lifted her hands and brushed soft lips across the knuckles. "Don't be....I understand. And I know him....he won't freak. He's our friend."

"How many friends are being asked to father a child?"

A slow smirk as dark brows wriggled at her. "Not that many, huh?....Geez, it's gonna boost his ego."

Despite herself Liv chuckled and leaned forward. Simply resting her cheek against the warm shoulder next to her.

Around them the bar was slowly getting crowded. It was Friday evening and Matthias had managed to contract a new band for tonight....so not only did their usually crowd show up but new folks that were curious about the band (or the bar), too.

Pale eyes watched a group of young men enter. They were laughing and looking around with open curiosity. One alerting the others as two men arm in arm walked by. The first said something which resulted in more laughter. Then they headed to the bar.

Rayne frowned and made a mental note to have Ahmed have a closer look on them.

A teasing hand tickled her side. Barely keeping herself from squeaking in surprise, she scowled at twinkling green eyes. "Hey!"

Liv smiled and sat up a little. Leaning close enough for their lips to touch....slightly - nothing more than a brief touch of skin. "Yes?"

It took all her willpower not to let the smile she felt tugging at the corner of her mouth to show. "What was that for?" And she actually managed to keep the scowl in place. Although she wasn't too sure how convincing it really was.

The tip of a tongue tickled her lower lip. Innocently blinking green eyes. "Because I can?"

She kept silent for a moment and then captured soft lips in a kiss. For a small eternity everything around them disappeared. Leaving nothing but the two of them....warmth.... and the strange feeling of grass tickling naked skin.

"Just watching the two of you, melts my heart."

The teasing voice sounded up next to them and Rayne slowly broke their kiss. Raising a dark brow at the tall blond man standing at their table. Liv just chuckled and settled back against her side. Waving her fingers at Matthias who had a broad smile on his face.

He reached out and ruffled Rayne's hair playfully and then sat down. Completely ignoring the low growl directed at him.

"Hi, Little One....how are doing?"

Liv smirked and shrugged. "I'm doing just fine. Thanks."

"I bet you do." He waggled his brows at her. "And how is Stretch there doing."

"I'm doing fine, as well....thanks for asking. Now would you stop being a pain in the butt?!"

Matthias laughed and relaxed in his chair. Exchanging knowing smiles with Liv.

Rayne shook her head and got up. "I'm getting us something to drink."

Her friend watched her go and a worried expression settled on his face as he turned back to the still smiling blonde across from him. Well, that was a good sign....right? He swallowed and pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. "Think I went to far?"

Noticing a very familiar twinkle in those green eyes, he stopped her response by lifting a hand. "Don't!....You are just as bad as she is."

Liv laughed. "I take that as a compliment.....and no, she isn't mad. I think she is going to talk to Ahmed about the guys back there."

Matthias turned a little. "Oh yeah....I noticed them. Look like trouble don't they?" He watched Rayne's tall frame disappear into the direction of their office. "Well, Ray is going to take care of it."

Turning back, he rested his chin on his palm and smiled at Liv. "So, what was it that you wanted to talk about with me?" Watching in surprise as a deep blush crept up her neck.

"Liv?"

"Um..." The small blonde rubbed a hand across her face as if to try to get rid of the blush this way. "Well.....you see...." A deep breath and green eyes that desperately looked around for a certain six-feet tall frame.

Liv sighed. The idea had sounded great when they had come up with it. But it was an entirely different thing to sit in front of the person you were about to ask to.....She buried her face in her hands.

Matthias frowned. Not entirely sure what to make of Liv's reaction. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

That actually made her laugh. Looking up, she mirrored his position and rested her chin on her palm. Still smiling. "Actually....yes, there is something you can help us with."

But before she could continued a tall shadow fell across the table and moments later Rayne sat down again. Putting something to drink in front of each of them. Receiving a gentle kiss for the effort. Turning to smirk rather smugly at her friend who just shrugged and smirked right back.

"Have you asked him yet?" She leaned back and dropped an arm across the back of Liv's chair. Her fingers unconsciously playing with short blonde locks.

Matthias threw up his hands. "What are you talking about?! Asking me what?"

"Do you want to be the father of our child?"

Liv sighed and shook her head. Green eyes rolling at questioning pale blue. "What?"

"You could have tried a more subtle way."

Dark brows wrinkled and then Rayne shrugged. Turning to Matthias....at least turning to the chair he had been sitting on. "What the...." She leaned to the side. The tall form of her friend laying on the ground. Out cold.

She sighed and looked at Liv. "Told you, he wouldn't freak."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

now

Their bedroom was left in darkness after Matthias had switched off the light. The curtains filtering thin beams of light from the street. The ceiling highlighted by moving stripes painted there by cars driving by.

Corinna lay back. Her dark eyes blinking into the dark.

She heard Matthias breathing next to her...way too calm and even. She had heard it in his voice - the soft tremble as he had continued to tell her what had happened between Rayne and Liv.

Her throat felt dry and she swallowed. "A baby." It wasn't a question. It wasn't an accusation either. Just a soft whisper.

He moved - but didn't reach out to touch her.

She turned her head. Barely able to make out his features in the darkness that lay between them...So many questions. They're were crowding her head, making it difficult to concentrate. To remind herself that this happened long before she had ever met him.

The air felt cold as she took a deep breath. Rolling onto her side, her fingers touched his hand. Softly - hesitantly. Relief a warm rush as he didn't pull away.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Again, she felt him move. The rustle of his pillow as he used it as a backrest against the headboard. His face and body a stark silhouette against the light coming from the window. Saw his chest move in a deep sigh.

But he never released the hold on her hand. His grip almost desperate in its intensity...

It took another long moment until he turned to face her.

"Why didn't I tell you?....." It was a question and yet it faded into long breath. "You know, after I finally regained consciousness again..." A sad chuckle. "Ray loved it. She kept laughing at me for months to come. And I just added to my embarrassment because it took a moment until I'd figured out that they wanted me to be the donor and not that I...." He fell silent.

The dim light allowing to make out the soft smile that shaped his lips. "They were so happy. Do you know what it is like to look into the eyes of your best friends and to be able to see right into their souls? To be blinded by the light you see there?"

She couldn't see his eyes but his voice - in all the years that she knew him, she had seen him sad only a few times. He simply was a happy guy. Always smiling and laughing. Joking. But now it was in his voice.

The tears she couldn't see in his eyes.

"Do you think God is a really busy guy?"

The low question was so sudden that it took her a moment to catch up on his train of thoughts. Dark eyes blinked in surprise. "Um....I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"I think he is." Softly. Certain.

She felt his hand touch her face....it was cold and yet gently tracing the curve of her cheek.

"I think he his." He repeated...then the hand disappeared. "I know he must have been awfully busy.....that day..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

then

Dew caressed along green blades of grass. Along still closed blossoms that slowly - awakened by the soft touch - straightened. Spreading and bursting into a cheerful mixture of colours. Their faces turned towards the first hints of the sun.

The last traces of mist lingered in the air. Caught in sleepy leaves that hesitantly let it go. To vanish into a pale grey that slowly changed into blue. Still bathed in soft pink. To be swallowed by the warmth settling on the day.

The lake was calm. The sound of waves lazily lapping onshore faintly audible. Reaching for grains of sand and little rocks to take them away into a curious depth of green. The lake's soft murmuring mixed with the splashing sounds of ducks and swans that greeted the new morning with cheerful voices.

Then a deep, echoing sound drifted through the air. And the misty outlines of the ferry that carried passengers across the Plöner See appeared at its very edge. To disappear behind a line of huge pine trees....leaving nothing but the lingering sound of its humming engine.

From somewhere a butterfly darted through an opening in a fence. Its wings a blur of colours as it headed towards the flowers that lined one side of a neatly kept backyard. It playfully zipped upwards....lingering at an open window. Tiny antennas trembling and then it vanished.

Followed by amused pale eyes.

She had been awake for some time now but wasn't ready yet to leave her comfortable nest filled with the warm scent of Liv.

Her own tall frame was spooned against her back. Her nose buried in short blonde locks that held a scent a curious mixture of apricot and sunlight...

Red lips shaped into a gentle smile.

It was early. The sun still nothing more than a line of yellow on a pink background. Beams of pale blue dissolving into it.

She moved a little. Her dark head coming to rest on the palm of her right hand. Pale blue eyes studying the gentle features completely relaxed in sleep.

Her smile broadened as curious fingertips danced along warm, soft skin. Barely able to make out the soft swell of Liv's belly.

Her mind still trying to comprehend what her heart and soul had already accepted. That there was actually a tiny life forming in there.

Their child...

Touching her lips to a softly moving shoulderblade, Rayne closed her eyes. Listening to the deep breathing that so characterised Liv's sleep. For a moment just floating on a wave of emotions that branded through her. Was it possible to be this happy?

For a small eternity there was nothing but the small form she held in her arms and the warmth they shared. Nothing that matter beyond them....

Then a mischievous smile played on her lips. Nibbling soft skin, she playfully licked it. Waiting a moment for any response.

Which was a cute, little sound clearly showing Liv's annoyance with her warm backrest. Then the small frame cuddled against her chest moved and rolled onto her back. Still fast asleep.

Rayne smiled.

Her hand resting on Liv's belly underneath a buttoned sleeping shirt carefully tugged at one button. Releasing it from its confinement.

After she opened the third button, she stopped and put her head down. Knowing that there was no chance she'd be able to hear anything but nevertheless trying. Tender fingertips traced along the soft swell. "....our child...." A warm breath brushing along soft skin. Stirring tiny, soft hair.

And felt a small hand brush dark bangs to one side.

She kissed the belly she lay on but didn't move. Simply enjoying the gentle touch.

"Hur länge har du varit vaken?" A soft voice. Hoarse from sleep.

Rayne smiled and turned her head a little. Drowning in sleepy green eyes. She shrugged. "Not long."

"Mmh." A soft sound. Accompanied by playful fingers tickling Rayne's nose. "Any particular reason why you are using my belly as a pillow?" Liv tilted her head a little...smiling into shining blue eyes. Getting a low chuckle as an answer.

And felt soft lips make their way up her body.....to meet hers in a gentle kiss.

"Because I can?" A low, treasing whisper that tickled her ear.

They smiled at each other. Getting lost in each other's eyes.

Liv reached up and traced a pair of smiling lips. "...morning..." Giggling as Rayne caught her fingers with her teeth.

Releasing them, she claimed Liv's lips in another soft kiss. Lingering for a small eternity. "I did mention how happy I am, right?"

Liv smiled." I think, you mentioned it once or twice....or every other minute."

Rayne chuckled and moved onto her side. "Just wanted to make sure."

Liv moved with her and simply rolled the taller woman onto her back. Settling quite comfortably on top of her. Smirking down into blue eyes. "Going somewhere?"

Red lips shaped into an equally bright smirk and pale eyes looked at their current position. Closing her arms around the small frame claiming her body, she shook her head. "I guess, I won't."

Which earned her a gentle kiss that quickly turned into something deeper. And without second thought she surrendered to the gentle seduction. Pale blue eyes disappearing behind closing lids as she felt adventurous fingers dance along her body. Tickling her soul with the love they carried...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I don't know, Ray...."

"It's...nice."

"Mmh."

Silence. Rustle of paper.

"Kinda....cheery."

"Yeah, kinda...."

Two tall forms that stood in front of a wooden table. Rolls of wallpaper laying on top of it. The room itself covered in old papers. Paintbrushes and paint stood next to the table.

A sigh and the blond man lifted another wallpaper up. Blue eyes studying its design for a moment. Pale brows wrinkling in thought. "I like this one."

The dark head next to him moved. Biting her lower lip, Rayne took it from him and held it against one wall. Bright beams of sunlight hit small, cute characters that danced across the paper.

Then a low chuckle and the tall woman turned to her friend. "So far it's the best."

Matthias laughed and poked her side. "Don't let Liv hear it." Taking the wallpaper back, he sighed and looked at her questioningly. "This one, or what?"

Rayne thought about it for a moment. The other choices just didn't feel right to her. No way was she going to decorate the room in pink. Especially since they had no idea if it was going to be a girl or a boy - although her mother insisted on the baby being a girl - ....luckily that was a point she and Liv agreed on. Again, pale blue eyes studied the last roll of wallpaper. Pale blue with puffy clouds and little lambs with big dark eyes on it.

It was awfully cute. And Liv would love it. She sighed silently. Who would have thought that decorating a nursery would make so much trouble. Rubbing one hand across her face, she nodded. "Yup, we take this one."

Matthias laughed. "You should see your face, Ray."

She scowled at him. But it didn't impress her friend very much. He just smirked and removed the rest of the wallpaper from the table to prepare the glue. "Let's get going, huh?....Liv promised me Kapusta for dinner and I want to be ready by then." He had his back to Rayne and so missed the look of deep affection on her face.

"Thank you."

He chuckled. "Hey...I do about anything for a good Kapusta."

"That's not what I meant." The low voice was quiet and he turned around. Studying his friend in surprise.

"Huh?"

"What you did for us means so much to Liv and me." She swallowed and gestured at the room. "This....we....." Taking a deep breath, she took a step forward and hugged him. "Just...Thank you." A low, grateful whisper.

It took him by surprise. Clearing his throat, he sheepishly rubbed a hand across his eyes. "Hey now...don't get all mushy on me, okay?" But he smiled as he said that. Tilting his head at her, his face suddenly turned serious. "Seeing the two of us so happy is all the thank you I need, Ray."

They looked at each other for a long silent moment.

"Do you remember that one night at the beach? When we talked about falling in love?"

Dark brows wrinkled in thought but then Rayne nodded.

"I always wanted you to be happy, Ray. Because if there is one person who deserves to be happy than it is you."

What do you say to that? She had no idea so she simply hugged him again. "Thank you, Matthias."

"You're welcome.....just name the baby after me." His slightly trembling voice was teasing as were his eyes as he winked at her.

Rayne laughed. "I put it on the list."

"Okay....now, enough of that mushy stuff. Let's get to work here."

She smiled but nodded and reached for the paintbrush he handed her.

Outside the sun was just reaching its highest point. Curious rays crawling along the floor to tickle smiling pink lips. Hitting sparkling green eyes as Liv turned around and headed down into the kitchen as quietly as possible. The soft smile never leaving her face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

<ring>

A mumbled curse. Rustle of cloth.

<ring>

This time a hoarse groan stirred the dark room and a long arm reached out to stop whatever was making this noise. Only to be stopped by a small hand. Soft lips touching a warm cheek.

"It's okay....go back to sleep."

An unintelligible whisper as Rayne turned a little and simply cuddled against the smaller frame next to her. Hearing but not understanding who Liv was talking to. She wrapped one arm around a visibly swollen belly....and even in her drowsy state did a happy, little smile appear on her face.

A soft click announced that Liv had hung up the phone.

Rayne scowled as she felt her move. Blinking sleepy blue eyes open, she tried to make out familiar features in the dark. "What's wrong?"

And felt soft lips touch hers in a gentle kiss. Mmh. That was nice. She smiled.

"The clinic....I need to go there. The little one I told you about yesterday? Her condition got worse and they need my help."

Switching on the light, Liv had to suppress a laugh as she saw red lips move into a pout. For a moment she simply looked at Rayne. Tracing along those handsome features....She was beautiful....but especially at a time like this, just waking up, she was awfully cute. With dishevelled dark locks and that almost childlike expression on her face.

Rayne frowned. "What?"

Lifting one hand, she gently traced pouting lips. "I love you." A soft whisper.

And felt soft lips moved into a smile. " Jag älskar dig."

They smiled at each other. For a small eternity everything around them faded...where there was only warmth and shining green and blue eyes.

"I try to be back as quickly as possible."

Rayne sighed and moved forward. Resting her head against the swell that was their child. One finger tracing its outline. "You better." She kissed the soft skin and then got up as well. "I prepare some breakfast."

Liv chuckled a little and hugged the tall frame. "Grump." Felt long arms surround her in a warm embrace.

"Am not....now go shower."

Smiling green eyes followed the tall frame as Rayne headed downstairs. Scratching her back....still mumbling grumpily. Trying to imagine what it would be like not to have Rayne in her life.

Even the thought hurt.

She took a deep breath....for a moment overwhelmed by the emotions caused by the simple thought. Unconsciously her hands moved to cover her belly. Looking down, she gently rubbed it. "I can't wait for your mamma to meet you."

Downstairs she heard the radio being turned on and a low voice humming along. Mixed with the soft sounds of kitchenware being moved. And just the familiar sounds helped to dissolve the dark feeling that had settled on her for a moment. Joining the soft humming coming from downstairs, she headed to the bathroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pale blue eyes watched as the small car left the driveway. The tall frame blending into the dark that kept a solid hold on the world surrounding her. She stood there until she couldn't see the lights anymore. Until the night swallowed the soft humming of the car engine.

A deep breath. Chilly air tickling the back of her throat.

Smiling, she tilted her head back and traced the sky above. Pale eyes met by sparkling spots of light. And there was one light....small, barely noticeable that winked cheerfully at her. The night Liv had told her that she was pregnant she had found it. Had for whatever reason looked up and there it had been.

Winking at her just as cheerfully as now.

She smiled. Mushball. A low chuckle stirred the air.

The dark head shook and she turned to head back to the house. The soft crunching of her boots mixed with the desperate call of a cat that echoed eerily across the lake.

She was about to enter the house as she looked up one more time. And dark brows furrowed.

It was gone.

Letting go of the door, she stepped outside again. Shivers dancing down her spine that weren't a result of the chilly air. Feeling something heavy settle on her.

Inside her...

A tickle of darkness that seemed painfully familiar.

Breathing hurt as she took a few steps out on the driveway. Pale eyes starring into the dark surrounding her. And she knew....

Her keys making a clinking sound on the concrete as they slipped from her hand. Her entire body frozen in place.....her mind numb as a desperate whisper stirred the air.

"....Liv...."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Silence.

A strange silence that seemed to have settled somewhere inside. Numbing her head. The only sound audible was the rapid beating of her heart.

Was she floating?

She had the most amazing feeling of walking on clouds. That's how light she felt....Light....

Light?

She remembered light. Bright. Blinding....hurting her eyes. Followed by shrill sounds of carbrakes. Metal crunching under immense pressure. The sound of glass breaking.

And with that pain swallowed her.

Was that hoarse cry hers?

She had no idea if she was moving but her entire body seemed to be on fire. Pain crawling right inside her. Settling somewhere in her stomach...

Oh god....

.....please....no....no....

Again a hoarse cry.

Please, no...

She tried to move her hands. Tried to feel. Please...She felt her mind start to spin. Making it difficult to think. Breathing hurt.

Rayne.

Darkness settled inside her head. Tempting her with the promise of peace...She tried to fight it. Tried to get away.

Rayne.

Pale blue smiled at her. Her skin tingling with tender caresses....her soul wrapped in warmth. And she surrendered to the low voice whispering to her. There was no pain. No darkness. Only ---

---Rayne.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Silvery moonlight crawled slowly along wide, open fields. Highlighting dark silhouettes of cattle. Misty outlines of houses, churches. Caressing a countryside that was still fast asleep. Oblivious to life that continued around it...

At the horizon silvery light was mixed with flashing blue and red.

Faint sounds of sirens. Car engines. Shouting voices.

Bright flashlight that was almost blinding in its intensity bathing part of the road that led to Lübeck in stark white. A crowd of people was running around in organised chaos as firemen tried to get to a small dark car that was partly hidden underneath a huge truck.

Its front nothing but bunched up metal.

The grass, now a greyish green spotted lines of red that slowly ran down damp blades. Thick, red liquid...

"....careful!...She's alive! Easy...easy...." Anxious voices as they finally got to the driver's seat.

Police cars were blocking the road, even though there was almost no traffic. Police officers dressed in green and khaki stood next to the wreck.

"How did it happen?" A soft voice.

"He fell asleep....lost control over the truck....she's was at the wrong place at the wrong time." Equally low.

"Any identification?"

"We have to see what we find."

Suddenly the voices of the ambulance crew got more urgent. Static noises from the radio. "She's pregnant....we need to get her out of here as fast as possible!"

More noise. Hectic movement.

Then a flash of pale hair as a prone form was move onto a stretcher. Soft features lined with deep red....tracing down gently curved cheekbones. Soft skin darkened by bruises.

"Move it!" Shrill sirens that echoed eerily through the night. Flashing blue that disappeared into the dark. Leaving behind an hollow silence. Bright, white light. Dark forms moving around to secure the area.

Around them the wind had picked up in speed. Brushing through the trees lining the road. Stirring sleepy leaves. Taking with it the last sound of the ambulance that had disappeared only moments ago. Chasing layers of pale grey across the dark velvet. Covering dim spots of light...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

To be concluded (this time for real <smile>) in Part 8 (it isn't posted yet so don't bother to click on the link. But of course you can if you want to....<smile> Part 8 should be finished by the end of January.)

If you'd like to read more of my stories, you can do that at: www.fanfictiongrit.homestead.com