CHAPTER 1
Tehvay Veilan was tall and lithe, with unruly blonde hair that reached to just below her chin. Having spent most of her twenty-eight years wearing the pale blue shirt and trousers of a slave, Tehvay now favoured dresses, the more colourful the better – anything but blue. Today, she was wearing a sleeveless yellow shift dress.
Smiling at the simple pleasure that would have been denied her as a slave, she strolled with shoes in hand – enjoying the cool, soft feel of the grass beneath her bare feet. She headed up a short rise to a stand of trees. The background noise of people in the Dansek Botanical Gardens and the drone of the surrounding city fell in volume, as she entered the copse. Inside, she discovered a spring fed pond. A light breeze rustled the leaves overhead, goosebumps stood out on her tanned arms, and she shivered. She had only been on the planet for three months, and the glorious, hot summer was giving way to cooler weather.
Tehvay stepped into the shallow pool, registering the chilly water but choosing to ignore. She waded in up to her shins, looking to find where the water exited the pool. It must run down into the lake, she surmised, recalling the large lake she had seen earlier.
The water in the pond was crystal clear, and Tehvay could see tiny creatures darting along the bottom on spindly legs. She disturbed them with her movement, and they quickly disappeared behind pebbles and vegetation. She gave an involuntary cry at the sudden sight of a rodent diving into the water and swimming towards her. It paid her little attention as it swam close by, nearly brushing up against her leg, before disappearing into a hole in the bank.
"Tehvay!" A voice called out.
Tehvay turned and saw Yuniph, her sister, trot into view with a concerned look on her face.
"It's okay! Just a lygat," explained Tehvay.
"Euww, I hate those filthy creatures," said Yuniph.
"They're harmless… as long as they're well-fed," Tehvay replied with a grin.
Despite being identical twins, Tehvay and Yuniph were easy to tell apart, because Yuniph wore her blonde hair long. Yuniph also favoured clothing with a more muted colour palette, preferring practical rather than fashionable attire. Today, she was wearing a white, short-sleeved shirt and khaki shorts. The length of their hair might have been the only physical difference between them; their lives, however, couldn't have been more different.
Yuniph had grown up on the planet Trengos with her parents. It wasn't an easy life, but her parents were hard working, and they owned their own house. Yuniph didn't go to university. Instead, she joined the Dansek Security Force and was steadily moving up in the ranks. Tehvay, on the other hand, had lived most of her life as a slave, until their unlikely chance encounter led to her being reunited with her family.
Tehvay moved towards the pond's edge and held out a hand to her sister. Yuniph obliged, took the outstretched hand, and helped Tehvay out of the water. Once she had firm footing on solid ground again, Tehvay tried to let go of Yuniph's hand, but Yuniph tightened her grip.
A sudden twinge of fear filled Tehvay's chest – a remnant of past abuses by her former owners. She didn't flinch or pull away. She had learnt not to show any outward signs of discomfort. She breathed slowly to calm her heart rate. This was her sister, after all.
Yuniph raised their joined hands and studied them.
"I know we are identical twins," Yuniph said, "but there is so much about us that isn't alike at all." Yuniph turned Tehvay's hand over, held it palm up, and pointed out the calluses. "You have clearly done more manual work than me. You favour your left hand, where I favour my right." Yuniph gripped a couple of Tehvay's fingers between her thumb and forefingers. "And if I'm not mistaken, you have had a few fractures in your time."
"Yes," Tehvay acknowledged simply. She hadn't given it much thought until Yuniph pointed it out. She wondered if she should tell her sister how she came by those fractures, but Tehvay decided against it. She didn't think Yuniph was ready to hear the unsettling details about one owner's bad temper.
Yuniph finally released Tehvay's hand.
"Still getting used to it?" asked Tehvay.
"Used to what?"
Tehvay gestured between the two of them. "This. Us."
"Us? It's fine," Yuniph replied.
Tehvay observed her twin's eyes dilate slightly – a sure sign she wasn't being completely truthful. Tehvay had long ago learnt to read the subtleties of other people's emotions, and what Yuniph wasn't saying spoke volumes. Tehvay decided to try a different tack to get Yuniph to open up. "Can I be honest with you?"
"I suppose so."
"I'm still trying to get used to it all. Being reunited with my family was something that I never dreamed could happen, but it did, somehow. You know what I mean?"
Yuniph offered a slight smile. "Yes. If I'm being honest, sometimes this still feels like a dream – overwhelming at times."
"Exactly!" Tehvay agreed. "But let's not worry about trying to make up for the past twenty-eight years. We're just two sisters enjoying a picnic on a beautiful sunny day. What could be better?"
"That I had your fashion sense – according to Rikana," Yuniph joked.
A laugh escaped Tehvay's lips at Yuniph's mention of her friend and fellow security officer's often expressed critique. Tehvay pulled her sister into a hug. She felt Yuniph stiffen slightly before yielding and returning the embrace.
"And speaking of picnics, come on," Tehvay said. "Ima and Ita should have lunch all laid out for us by now." Ima and Ita, Tehvay repeated the Trengosian colloquialisms for mother and father. It still felt strange to her, but in a good way.
The sisters made their way back to the picnic site, and found their parents, Asta and Pallin, seated on a blanket near Yuniph's road vehicle. A picnic lunch had been laid out in the middle of the blanket.
Tehvay ran the last few tens of metres and sat down between them.
Asta held out a plate of sandwiches and offered them to her daughter. Tehvay took one and started eating it, as her mother offered her husband one. All three of them were eating by the time Yuniph joined them. She sat opposite Tehvay, reached across the blanket, and took a clear container full of cakes.
"Manners," said Asta with a smile as Yuniph helped herself. "Offer them around first. I remember even as a little girl you never could let anyone have the first one!" Her smile faded and she turned to Tehvay. "Sorry."
"What for?" Tehvay asked, taking a cake from the container Yuniph had dutifully offered to her.
"Talking about the past. It must be difficult—"
"Don't apologise, Ima. It's not your fault. I am happy you've had all these years in freedom – as a family. And I want to hear all about them. I want to hear all my sister's faults, so I can tease her about them." She smiled at Yuniph. "That is what sisters are supposed to do, isn't it?"
"I don't know. I never had one," Yuniph replied. "Until now, that is."
Tehvay thought her sister looked sad, but before she said anything, her mother spoke up and changed the subject.
"That reminds me," Asta said. "Yuniph, your birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and that means it's Tehvay's birthday as well."
"It is? What day is it?" Tehvay asked.
"The eighteenth of Attamand," Pallin explained, after he chewed and swallowed the last of his sandwich.
Tehvay spent a moment reciting the names of the Trengosian months to herself. Attamand was the eighth month on Trengos.
"We should have a party for both of you." Asta smiled and passed the plate of sandwiches to her husband. "Seconds?"
Pallin eagerly took a sandwich off the plate. Asta then held the plate out to Yuniph who took a half, and to Tehvay, who gestured no. She was content to nibble on the cake.
"Would you like that Tehvay? A birthday party?"
"I don't know. I've never had a birthday party before. I just marked the passing years on the first day of the Kalenth New Year."
"All the more reason we should have a party for you, and Yuniph of course," Asta replied. "Wouldn't you agree Yuniph?"
Yuniph didn't look up from her sandwich. "Actually, I have to work that day."
"I'm sure you could arrange to get the day off," Asta replied.
"I guess so."
Tehvay watched this exchange between Asta and Yuniph – observing the power mothers have with just a look that tells their child it wasn't a request. Even if Yuniph was on the losing end of that exchange, Tehvay envied her sister's close bond with their mother.
"There, then it's settled," said Asta. She passed the sandwiches around again. Only Pallin took her up her offer. "I'll take care of all the arrangements," Asta continued. "Make sure you invite Rikana, Yuniph. You know how she likes a party."
"Yes, Ima."
"I can't wait to tell Kikola!" Tehvay exclaimed.
Pallin grunted. "How is your new recruit, Yuni?"
"You mean Kikola?"
"Yes," replied Pallin.
Yuniph quickly chewed the piece of cake she had just put in her mouth. "Efficient."
Tehvay smiled. "That's Kikola." Tehvay paused, hoping Yuniph would elaborate on Kikola's virtues as a security force officer. After all, she was more than qualified for the job. When none was forthcoming, Tehvay felt compelled to say something more. "Kikola thinks highly of Yuniph, Ita."
Pallin offered Tehvay a tepid smile.
Mention of the woman who had brought Tehvay to them, and with whom Tehvay shared a life, always seemed to bring about an uncomfortable silence. Tehvay recognised that it was taking time for her family to warm up to Kikola. Members of the ruling Elit caste in The Kalenth Hegemony were looked upon with suspicion on Trengos, and even an ex-Elit, who had risked all to save their daughter from slavery, still had something to prove to the Veilans. Kikola's tendency to seem somewhat unapproachable and aloof meant Tehvay's Ima and Ita didn't see Kikola the way Tehvay did – loving, respectful, and very understanding, However, they were slowly coming around and accepting Kikola as part of the family.
The Veilans spent the next hour just relaxing and talking about everyday matters. Eventually, Pallin looked up at the sky and shielded his eyes from the brightness of the Trengosian suns. "Well, we should be heading back soon," he said. "You've got a shift tomorrow, dear."
Asta sighed. "Don't remind me."
"Or me," Yuniph said. "I might get more days off now that I've been promoted, but tomorrow isn't one of them."
"'Sergeant Veilan.' Has a nice ring to it," Pallin said, as he patted his daughter's shoulder. "We're very proud of you, Yuniph."
"Thanks, Ita."
Tehvay listened to this exchange with keen interest. As she helped her mother pack up the food and put things away, it occurred to Tehvay that she was the only one in the family who didn't have a job. "It's about time I went to work."
"How do you mean, dear?" asked Asta, folding the blanket.
"Kikola has a job, and I feel awful not contributing."
"Is Kikola pressuring you to go to work?" Asta asked warily.
"No, not at all. I just want to feel useful, to contribute to the household."
"What are you good at?" Yuniph asked as she picked up the hamper.
"Well, I …" Tehvay didn't know how to answer Yuniph's question. All she had ever done was be a slave and do whatever her owner told her to do. She had no education or business experience, save what she had learnt from her mentor Boran during the few years she was with him.
"What would you like to do, then?" prompted Yuniph.
"I don't know. I hadn't given it a lot of thought. I—"
"How about a shop clerk or receptionist? Can you cook?"
"Yuniph, don't badger your sister with questions," Asta chided. "She just needs a little time to explore all her options."
"I'll have to ask Kikola." Tehvay heard how that sounded and sensed her mother's challenge forming. Before it was said, Tehvay rephrased. "I'd like to get her opinion."
Asta started to apologise. "Yes, of course. I forget she's no longer..." She paused and gave a dismissive wave of her hand.
"Perhaps you would understand her if you got to know her a little better."
"I try, dear, you know that. But she can be a little… don't take this wrong, a bit… private, standoffish, you know what I mean."
"Those are not the words Rikana used," Yuniph chimed in.
Pallin chuckled as he helped Yuniph stow the hamper in her vehicle. Tehvay's father had a good relationship with Rikana. In fact, both her parents liked the young woman – she was almost part of the family.
"Is Rikana coming over tonight?" asked Asta.
Yuniph shrugged. "You know her, if she's coming, she'll be there, if she's not, she won't."
Tehvay stood back and enjoyed the banter going on between her parents and sister. As a slave, she was used to people talking around her, even about her, but back then she had no part in the conversation. Now, it was different. These people, her family, might be talking about something where she couldn't join in, but she didn't feel excluded. She felt loved, happy. Nothing could destroy this new, wonderful life she had.
~~~~
After finishing her shift, the newest member of the Dansek Security Force queued up at the exit of the central headquarters to sign the electronic duty log. Her shoulder-length dark brown hair was pulled back in a tight tail, as per regulations, and even at the end of her shift, not a hair was out of place. Kikola Karthen comported herself with a straight-backed military bearing and economy of movement unmatched by the other security force officers traversing the lobby. Though average in height, she had an air of authority: some would argue superiority.
There were several other officers going off shift as well. It didn't bother Kikola that none of them made any attempt to talk to her. She had been a loner most of her life, content in her own company; in fact, she preferred it. It was only when Kikola met Tehvay that having someone in her life had become important to her.
Kikola and Tehvay had arrived on Trengos three months ago under the assumed names Bastin and Trellon; however, the authorities knew their identities were fakes. Tehvay changed her name to Veilan, the name her parents had adopted from the transport captain who had brought them to freedom on Trengos. Kikola decided to revert to Karthen, but dropped the 'ap' denoting a member of The Kalenth Hegemony's Elit caste.
Most of Kikola's co-workers didn't know the full details of her past life, but her accent gave her heritage away and that was enough for most. Even though she had been with the Dansek Security Force for the better part of two months, she was still considered an outsider.
After signing out, Kikola left the temperature-controlled building and stepped into the cool evening air, made cooler by that side of the building facing east. She immediately felt a chill. It made her miss the thermo-regulating lining in her aloyd uniform. She wanted to huddle in her security force uniform jacket for warmth, but that would be a sign of weakness. She pushed away any thoughts of feeling cold and proceeded down the stairs to ground level.
As she descended, Kikola was aware of a figure, about twelve metres away leaning against the wall of a building across the street, basking in the last warm rays of Trengos' two suns. The young woman was of a similar height to Kikola, just short of average, with hair a shade or two darker than Kikola's, worn back into a loosely pulled tail so her hair was off her shoulders. She too wore the dark-blue uniform of a Dansek Security Force officer.
Kikola immediately recognised the young woman: it was her partner Rikana Lardis. Rikana was the only one who had agreed to partner with Kikola, and she made no secret of the fact that she didn't like 'Heggers', as she called them.
Partnering with Rikana had taken some getting used to, because the young woman was impulsive, unruly, uncouth, and talked to Kikola as if she were better than her.
Kikola assumed Rikana was waiting for her and crossed the street. "Are you coming to the Veilans' house tonight?" Kikola asked.
Rikana often visited the Veilans' house after work. At first, Kikola thought it was so Rikana could take advantage of a free meal, but the young woman seemed to genuinely like Asta and Pallin.
"Not tonight, I've got a date," said Rikana. "With a man," she emphasised.
"Good for you," Kikola replied. Satisfied that she didn't have to spend any more time with her partner, Kikola turned in an attempt to walk away, but Rikana continued talking.
"I tried it once, you know."
"Tried what?" Kikola cursed herself for getting drawn back into the conversation.
"With a woman."
"What with a woman?"
"Sex." Rikana pushed herself off the wall and moved towards Kikola. "I was drunk and thought it might be good idea. It was at first. She went to work on me, if you know what I mean, and it was a good orgasm. But then it was my turn and… suddenly being face to face with a feeta, I realised how ugly they are. And smelly." She shuddered.
Feeta? Kikola said to herself. She was not familiar with the term. When Rikana continued her story, Kikola got a clear understanding of what it meant.
"To think I've got one of them between my legs…" Rikana pulled a face. "Anyway, I made my excuses and got out there."
"Is there a point to your story?"
Rikana thought for a moment. "No. Unless, it's that if you want to go down on me, don't expect me to return the favour."
Oblivious to the public surroundings and the people passing by, the young woman placed a hand over her crotch, moaned seductively and swayed her hips.
She thought it was another attempt by Rikana to get under her skin, but Kikola had come to the conclusion that her partner wasn't trying to be malicious or confrontational; it was just her attempt at humour. "I will bear that in mind," said Kikola calmly.
Wanting to curtail the encounter, Kikola started walking towards the public transport station. Rikana skipped ahead, turned to face Kikola, and started walking backwards. Kikola stopped before Rikana tripped or collided with another pedestrian.
"Oh, but you wouldn't be interested in me. You've got Tehvay. I bet she knows her way around your feeta, eh?" Rikana cackled.
Kikola wasn't about to reveal to Rikana that she and Tehvay had not as yet been intimate. For Tehvay, sex had meant only pain and humiliation in her life as a slave. Kikola understood it would take time to build a foundation of trust and intimacy for Tehvay. She was content to wait until Tehvay felt ready to consummate their relationship. In the meantime, Kikola was no longer taking the medication diproxaline, which suppressed one's libido, so she dealt with her sexual urges when she was alone.
Kikola's silence didn't stop Rikana. "Say, what with Tehvay and Veilan being twins, do you ever fantasise—"
Kikola cut Rikana's line of questioning off. "I prefer not to discuss my sex-life."
"You mean to tell me you've never looked at Yuniph and wondered what it would be like to – you know." Rikana winked.
"No."
"Oh, maybe you don't need to wonder. Is that how you got this job? You put out for Veilan, and she put in a good word."
"No!" Kikola cringed that she refuted Rikana's crude inference. She knew better than to react. It was weakness an enemy could exploit.
Rikana shrugged. "Veilan likes men, anyway, or at least she claims to. She did dump her last boyfriend. Maybe he was missing something… or not missing something as the case may be."
"Sergeant Veilan is our superior officer. You should have more respect."
"For Veilan? Nah," Rikana replied. "We go way back. She knows my little foibles."
Mercifully, the public transport was pulling up to the station. "I will see you tomorrow," said Kikola. "Enjoy your date."
Rikana seemed to take the hint that Kikola wished for the encounter to end. She grunted in lieu of saying goodbye and walked away.
As she boarded the transport, Kikola took a moment to reflect on her new life. How far removed it was from the life of privilege and purpose that had been her birthright. All that was gone now. She had no family or friends, save the one person that mattered to her: Tehvay. Tehvay more than made up for what she had lost.
~~~~
Kikola stepped off the Dansek public transport and waited for the vehicle to depart before crossing the street. She knew the way by heart, because since they had been living in Dansek, Kikola knew most days she could find Tehvay at her parents' house. Kikola didn't mind stopping by the Veilans' house after work to pick up Tehvay. Kikola understood that Tehvay and her family had years of separation to make up for. Besides, it wasn't out of her way. She and Tehvay had sold their ship and bought a small house just a few streets away from Tehvay's parents and sister.
Tehvay's mother, Asta, opened the front door of the modest semi-detached house. On first encounter, Kikola had found the middle-aged woman to seem anonymous and bland. Once she got to know her, Asta revealed herself to be quite multifaceted. This evening she wore a beige cardigan and wrapped skirt with subtle threads of yellow running in a random pattern that added a little colour and style. Her deep-set brown eyes sparkled, laugh-lines framed her mouth, and recently Asta had added some subtle dark highlights to her blonde hair. Kikola suspected that was to hide the few grey strands she had.
"Good evening, Kikola," said Asta, as she ushered Kikola inside.
"Good evening. Where's Tehvay?" Kikola asked.
"Where else? In the garden with her father. Come through to the kitchen."
Kikola had never felt comfortable in the Veilans' house. She and Tehvay had stayed with Tehvay's family after arriving on Trengos, which made things challenging – there was little room and no privacy. It wasn't an ideal way to start a new life with Tehvay, and Kikola could not wait to move out. It wasn't that Tehvay's parents weren't welcoming – well, as welcoming as ex-slaves could be to one who supported slavery, but because Kikola didn't feel at home there.
The only place she felt truly at home was the Karthen family estate on Kalenth, where she had been born and raised. Technically it was her Uncle Toman's house, since he was the designated head of the Karthen family, but any Karthen could enter any Karthen owned home on any planet and be 'home'. That life was gone now, and Kikola struggled to make Trengos feel like home.
"Sit down, I'll get you something to eat," said Asta.
"That won't be necessary."
"Nonsense. You've been at work all day."
"I don't want to put you to any trouble. Tehvay and I will eat later."
"It's no trouble, just leftovers from the picnic. Something to tide you over." Asta placed a plate on the table, gently pushed Kikola towards a chair, and started removing containers from a hamper on the floor. "Help yourself," she said as she opened a container of sandwiches and put it next to the plate.
"Thank you." Kikola dutifully picked up a sandwich and took a bite. Most of the fresh food on Trengos, while containing the nutrients she required, lacked the quality to which her palate was accustomed. She found things were either too bland or foul tasting. The former was preferable. Unfortunately, the sandwich fell into the latter category. Kikola, not wanting to seem ungrateful, took a second bite.
To Kikola's relief, Asta produced a second container with homemade cheese and chebol pasties. Chebol was a versatile, pungent, root vegetable that could be served cooked or raw. Pallin grew it in the garden, and it was one of the few things Kikola had found that matched its Hegemony counterpart in flavour.
She reached for a pasty without invitation. She paused. "Sorry! May I?"
"Of course. You don't need to ask."
"I…" Kikola felt embarrassed. In the Hegemony, Asta had been a slave, so it would not have occurred to Kikola to ask permission. Here though, things were different and sometimes Kikola overcompensated.
"I guess as an Elit you are used to taking what you want without asking, particularly from a slave," replied Asta.
Kikola knew Asta's observation was not meant to be vindictive. "Yes, you are right," she said. "However, I am not Elit anymore, and you are not a slave."
"I guess we were both given labels that we've outgrown," Asta replied.
Kikola studied Tehvay's mother as she moved around the kitchen pushing things into their place, making sure there was no clutter. She has spent nearly half her life a free woman, yet, as much as she wishes otherwise, she is still defined by her slavery, Kikola mused. Her movements are economical – a good slave responds quickly, never taking more time than necessary.
"This may seem like a strange question," Kikola ventured. "Do you ever miss it – your past life, I mean? Everything being safe, conforming to the expected, the routine."
"I would not describe it as safe," said Asta. "Though, there was a routine." Asta stared off into the distance. She appeared to be remembering things she'd rather not. "Freedom is scary when you don't know how it works." She turned her gaze towards Kikola. "You get used to it. As to missing it, no. It haunts me every day."
"I am sorry, I did not mean to drag up unpleasant memories."
"You didn't. As I said, it's with me every day. What about you? Do you miss it? The power, the wealth, the status?" Asta asked as she sat down and helped herself to a sandwich.
"Yes."
"Good. I mean it's good that you admitted it. If you said otherwise, I would have thought you were lying."
"I gave it up for Tehvay. If I had it again, I would give it away again for her. However, it would make things easier if I could have both. The only thing I regret giving up is my family. My mother in particular. She understood me. I could talk to her."
"Well, I'm not saying I'm going to replace your mother, or understand you like she did, but you can talk to me."
Kikola regarded Tehvay's mother with newfound respect and gratitude. "I appreciate that."
Asta smiled warmly and got up from the table. "It's customary to have a chat over a cup of dyodpeth." She moved towards the dispenser. "Would you like a cup?"
The roasted bean beverage was popular, but Kikola detested the bitter taste of the stuff. "No, thank you."
"I thought all Elit were addicted to it. It was my job to make it."
Kikola frowned. In all the time they had known each other, she had never asked about Asta's owner. "You were owned by an Elit?"
"Yes."
"Which family?"
"Lentol."
"My family has close ties with the Lentol family." Talk of a familiar subject suddenly made home seem not that far away. It gave Kikola a nice warm feeling, and she relaxed in her seat.
"The Karthen family," said Asta. "I recall visits by some of them. What were their names? Stram-something…"
The half-remembered name made Kikola sit up straight again. "Strambik."
"That's it. He was nice, for an Elit. He always smiled as I recall. His wife was not so pleasant. Was he a close relative of yours?"
"Strambik was my father."
Asta blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
"Don't apologise," said Kikola. "My mother is much like dyodpeth – an acquired taste."
Asta smiled as she poured herself a cup of dyodpeth. She joined Kikola at the kitchen table.
"What does your father think of his daughter running away with a slave?"
Kikola felt the sting of loss as always, but she did not show it. "He's dead. He was travelling through the Graelands, returning home after a diplomatic mission, and his ship was destroyed."
"I'm sorry," said Asta. "What about your mother? What does she think?"
"I don't know. I have not spoken to her. I assume she knows by now. My presence will be missed. I did tell her that I had romantic feelings for another woman and she seemed accepting of that. Though, if she knew it was Tehvay, a slave, then I don't know how tolerant she would be."
"Tell me about her," prompted Asta.
"My mother?"
"Yes."
"My mother, Mariantha, is a judge, and that is why she comes across to others as hard and unfeeling. It comes with the job. However, she has a caring side. In fact, my mother is the reason Tehvay and I met."
"Yes, Tehvay told me about the trial and your mother giving her to you as a graduation present."
"You make Tehvay sound like a commodity. I never treated her like that." Kikola became defensive, though she knew Asta had accepted her relationship with Tehvay as genuine.
"I know. My daughter has told me that you treated her with a great deal of leniency... she said 'respect'. Is that because you fell in love with her?"
"Yes."
"And if you didn't love her, would you still have treated her with respect? After all, she was a slave." Asta waved a hand. "No need to answer that, sorry."
"No, I must," said Kikola. "Slavery was as normal as breathing. I saw no wrong in it. I like to think I treated slaves as fairly as I could. I never made unreasonable demands of them and saw no need to mete out punishment. Tehvay was the first slave that I owned personally, and that had a profound effect on me. When I first met her, she was very strong-willed, and she made it clear she didn't like being a slave. Tehvay even challenged me to throw her out of an airlock if I didn't like the way she acted."
"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. I recognise that character trait in her sister," said Asta. "But what I don't understand is how you, as Elit, didn't just trade her in or put her down. Why tolerate a strong-willed slave?"
Kikola recalled having a similar conversation with Boran Zerbilla. "My upbringing might have been privileged, but in many ways, it was sheltered. From the moment I met her, Tehvay tested me, made me see things in a different way. I had accepted so much without question. Tehvay expressed her opinions and they conflicted with mine. She opened up a whole new way of seeing things that I didn't know existed."
Asta offered to make Kikola some tea. Kikola wasn't thirsty, but accepted a glass of water to be polite.
"Imagine that you… how can I describe it?" Kikola continued. "It was like I had being going through life with a filter over everything I saw, heard, or experienced. Tehvay took away that filter. She has made me a better a person, and she is worthy of everyone's love, but I am not sure I am worthy of hers. She gave me companionship. Friendship. Love. Everything. For what? What have I given her?"
Asta reached out and patted Kikola's arm. "You gave her your heart. You gave her dignity and respect. You gave her freedom. Those are the most precious things anyone can have. She loves you for that. And so do I."
It feels good to talk, to finally open up to someone, Kikola thought. She was about to say something more, when suddenly the back door opened. Just a glimpse of the face made Kikola's heart jump, but then she recognised that it was Yuniph who had entered the kitchen, not Tehvay. She swallowed her disappointment, so as not to show it, as Yuniph took a seat at the table.
Kikola still could not get used to the similarity between the twin sisters. Even though almost everything about them – hairstyle, dress, bearing, and personality – were as different as day and night, there was always that moment when Yuniph would unexpectedly appear and Kikola would think it was Tehvay.
As she watched Yuniph sipping a cup of dyodpeth, Kikola thought back to the conversation she had had with Rikana at the end of their shift – asking her if she ever fantasised about having sex with Yuniph, because she and Tehvay look alike. No, she thought, I could never love this one.
~~~~
Tehvay held the thin branch of the shrub away from the stem and snipped it off with a pair of secateurs. "Am I doing it right, Ita?" asked Tehvay.
The tall man with sandy, slightly thinning, blond hair looked up from the flowerbed he was tending. He wiped his furrowed brow with his forearm. His skin was ruddy and tanned from all the years spent outdoors tending other people's gardens, as well as his own.
The Veilans' garden was miniscule by Dansek Horticultural Gardens' standards, but there was nothing to rival it in their neighbourhood. It backed onto a small stream and was filled with a breath-taking canvas of flowers and vegetables native to Trengos, as well as some imported varieties, like chebol. Tehvay's father, Pallin, had cultivated it especially to please his wife, who loved to cook. Gardening wasn't just his profession; it was his passion, which he was happy to share with his daughter.
Pallin stopped what he was doing and went over to the delicate shrub that Tehvay was carefully pruning. He looked over his daughter's shoulder and smiled with a father's pride. "You are a quick study, Tehvay." He smiled broadly. "You obviously didn't get your knack for gardening from your mother."
Tehvay smiled back. "So, she doesn't like gardening, then?" she asked.
"You know, I don't think I ever asked her if she liked gardening. All I know is, I asked your mother once to help me clean up the plots for winter. She took a pruning tool and proceeded to cut all the leaves off my prized Calorian Shrenthine! They're difficult to grow in this climate and take a lot of care. The leaves change colour: sometimes they're a deep dark red, sometimes a pale yellow, and sometimes a rich dark green. They were in the process of changing from red to yellow, and she thought they were dead leaves and just clipped them right off!" He made a 'snip' gesture with his fingers.
Tehvay couldn't help but chuckle along with her father as he good-naturedly recounted the scene of carnage.
"I haven't asked her to help me after that," Pallin said. "Now Yuniph, she's a gardener. If she weren't in the security force, I'd have her working with me as a gardener."
Tehvay smiled and continued pruning under her father's watchful eye. She demonstrated an instinctive knowing of which stem to cut back, and she did so with a delicate touch.
"Well done, Tehvay. You're hired." Pallin's expression turned contemplative. "Say, how would you like to come work for me?"
"Me? I don't know anything about gardening."
"But you're a natural, and what you don't know I can teach you."
Tehvay dropped the tool and hugged her father. "I would love that!" she exclaimed.
"Talk it over with Kikola, of course," he said.
"Yes, I will – tonight. Thank you, Ita." Tehvay picked up the pruning tool. She shivered and looked up at the sky. One of the suns had already set; the other was hidden behind nearby houses.
"It can get quite cold in the evenings this time of year," confirmed Pallin. "Let's call it a night and head inside."
Tehvay entered the kitchen to find her mother, sister, and Kikola sitting at the table. Kikola was eating a pasty, Yuniph was biting into a slice of cake, and her mother was sipping on a cup of dyodpeth.
"Are you ready to go home?" Tehvay asked Kikola.
Kikola looked down at her plate to the half-eaten pasty. "I have not finished eating."
"Let her finish her pasty," said Asta.
Kikola looked to Asta, then to Tehvay. There was an almost pleading look on her face.
That's not like Kikola, Tehvay thought. She usually can't get away quickly enough. She knew that Kikola didn't begrudge her spending time with her family, but the former aloyd herself had always seemed uncomfortable around them.
"Finish your pasty," said Tehvay.
"Unless you want to go now?" asked Kikola.
"I can wait," said Tehvay. She washed the dirt off her hands, took a seat at the table, and helped herself to a leftover sandwich.
When Tehvay and Kikola were leaving, Asta gave Kikola a container with another pasty in it. "Take it home," Tehvay's mother said, "It'll keep until tomorrow."
"My thanks." Kikola took the offered container and looked to Tehvay.
Tehvay bade goodbye to her family, and she and Kikola left for the short walk home. The second sun was setting and the temperature had dropped a few more degrees.
"Here," said Kikola, taking off her uniform jacket.
Tehvay felt the warmth of Kikola's jacket draped over her shoulders. "Thank you. How did you know?"
"You looked cold."
"But what about you?"
"I am always warm with you," said Kikola, and slipped her hand into Tehvay's.
Kikola's hand felt icy, but Tehvay didn't say anything, because she knew Kikola wouldn't take back the jacket, no matter how cold she was. Tehvay squeezed Kikola's hand as a way of thanking her and transferring her warmth to Kikola in return.
As they walked on, Tehvay looked up at the western sky that was awash with red, orange, purple and blue. "Look at that sunset," she observed.
"It looks like a beautiful watercolour painting," Kikola replied.
"Spoken like a true artist," said Tehvay. "Hey, why don't you try it?"
"Try what?"
"Painting. I remember you said once that if you couldn't be an aloyd, then you would like to be an artist. Well, there's nothing stopping you from trying now."
"I don't know. I…" Kikola's voice trailed off. "To be a master artist one needs to have trained since childhood. It's too late for me."
"Don't be silly. You don't have to be a great artist. You just have to paint."
"It's not that simple."
"How do you know unless you try?"
"I will think about it."
Tehvay tugged on Kikola's hand to make eye contact. "Don't just think about it. Do it."
Kikola looked at her, then looked ahead. "How was the picnic?"
Tehvay recognised Kikola's attempt to change the subject, but was content to let it go, for now. "It was lovely. The Dansek Horticultural Gardens were amazing. It is rare that my parents and Yuniph have the day off together, so that made it even more special. And speaking of special, it is Yuniph's birthday in a few weeks, which means it's my birthday in a few weeks!"
"Really? How would you like to celebrate it? Perhaps I could get the day off and take you to the Dansek Horticultural Gardens again."
"I would love it if you took the day off, but my parents want to host a birthday party for Yuniph and me at their house. I've never had a birthday party before. I've never had a birthday before."
"Then we will make it memorable," Kikola said with a smile.
"There is something else, Ita has asked me to work with him – as a gardener. He'll pay me," Tehvay said.
"Do you like gardening?" asked Kikola.
"Yes, and Ita says I'm a natural," replied Tehvay. "So, what do you think?"
"About what?"
"About me going to work for Ita."
"If that is your wish," Kikola said.
Tehvay thought Kikola sounded non-committal.
"Then you don't mind?"
"Mind? Why should I mind?"
"I don't know. I just wanted get your opinion."
Kikola slowed her stride and regarded Tehvay with sincerity. "I think you can do anything you put your mind to, and if that is gardening with your father, then I am all for it."
Tehvay smiled. "Thanks."
They turned the corner into the street on which they lived. Two large orange-red orbs were rising in the eastern sky directly in front of them. "The moons are beautiful," Tehvay observed. "They seem close enough to touch."
"Hmm," Kikola acknowledged.
"Shibato only has one moon," Tehvay continued. "I used to love looking at it. Boran bought me a book about it, and a telescope so I could see it better. One time he even took me on a trip there. I actually preferred looking at it from a distance, though."
Tehvay's musings on moons reminded her of another planet in her recent past. "I didn't see any moons on Alopan. Does it have any?"
"Three," answered Kikola. "Though two of them are quite small when seen from the surface."
Tehvay recalled her time spent as a slave to the Taliss family, when she was parted from Kikola. "I managed to look up one night, and I wondered which point of light was you and how long before you'd come to rescue me. Now, I look up at the night sky and wonder which points of light are the Hegemony, and if we are safe from them here on Trengos." Tehvay gestured at the expanse of sky above them. It was not fully dark, but a lot of stars were visible.
They stopped walking and Kikola stepped up close behind Tehvay's shoulder, took Tehvay's hand, and used it to point where she wanted Tehvay to look. "Do you see that bright-reddish one?" Kikola asked.
"Yes."
"Just to the right of it there's a fainter white star. That's Kalenth." Kikola swung their arms right and up. "Do you see that group of three bright-yellowy stars in a straight line?"
Tehvay grunted an affirmative.
"The middle one is Shibato."
"They all look the same to me," said Tehvay.
They resumed walking.
"Like you and your sister," said Kikola.
"What do you mean?"
"Sometimes it is hard to tell you and Yuniph apart."
"Do you find her attractive?" asked Tehvay.
"Who?" asked Kikola.
"Yuniph, do you find her attractive?"
Kikola seemed flummoxed by the question. "What? No!"
"So," Tehvay grinned. "That means you don't find me attractive."
"Yes! I mean, no! I mean—Of course, I find you very attractive. I love you."
Tehvay could see that Kikola wasn't entering into the spirit of the conversation. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tease you."
"Anyway, you don't need to worry about the Hegemony," said Kikola. "At least not for another thirty years or so."
"Thirty years? How can you be so sure?"
"Because I was to be the Rivelor, leader of the next great expansion. It will take another thirty years to identify the next Rivelor and train them."
"Rivelor? What's that?" asked Tehvay.
"When the Hegemony wants to significantly expand its territory, the overall leader of the military campaign is called the Rivelor. It's not a title given to any aloyd. The Rivelor is selected before birth, nurtured and moulded even before beginning training as an aloyd."
"You were? You never told me that."
"I only found out after I had killed Taliss," Kikola replied. "I had assumed my upbringing was normal for all aloyds."
"So, you were meant to lead another conquest?"
"Yes."
Tehvay came to a halt and faced Kikola. "And you gave all of that up for me?"
"After I rescued you on Alopan, it didn't matter anymore. The Hegemony, being Rivelor, none of that matters to me now."
Kikola not only sacrificed her career and family for me, but her place in Hegemony history, Tehvay thought. She suddenly felt a heavy weight squeezing her chest. Does she truly feel it was worth it, that I was worth it? Or will she one day resent me for it?
As if Kikola could sense Tehvay's concerns, she took both of Tehvay's hands in hers and gazed into Tehvay's eyes. "Before you wonder or second-guess whether it was worth it, I assure you it was. You are. I would do it all over again and change nothing. No, that's not true. If I had known that killing Taliss would result in you being taken away from me, I would not have killed him." Kikola paused, her eyes glancing up and then back to Tehvay. "Then, we might not have escaped the Hegemony and come to Trengos, and you would have never met your family. Therefore, everything happened as it was meant to, and I regret nothing – nothing other than the pain our separation caused you."
Tehvay lowered her eyes. "I wish I could believe that," she sighed.
Kikola raised Tehvay's chin with her finger. "Believe it." Her palm gently cupped Tehvay's cheek. "You are all that matters to me now."
Tehvay saw the truth in Kikola's eyes and felt it in the warmth of her hand. In that moment, under the watchful gaze of Trengos' twin moons, Tehvay met Kikola's lips in a kiss so soft and reverent, that it sent a chill all over her body, and it wasn't from the evening air.
Maybe tonight, she thought.
They walked the short distance remaining in silence. As soon as the door closed behind them, Tehvay turned to Kikola.
"Let's get to bed…" Tehvay looked down into warm brown eyes. "I think I'm ready."
Kikola frowned. "Ready?"
Tehvay had thought she was ready several times before, but had only had the courage to say it aloud four times. Fifth time lucky, she thought.
"Yes. You know. You. Me. Ready."
Kikola finally realised what Tehvay meant. "Are you sure?"
It was the same question Kikola had asked her the previous times. Tehvay loved her for not adding 'this time'.
Tehvay took Kikola's hand and led her up the narrow stairs to the bedroom that they shared.
They began their ritual of undressing each other. However, this time there was an urgency to it. She could not wait to see Kikola naked and run her hands and lips over her body and to feel Kikola do the same to her.
She had seen Kikola naked countless times, but this time she beheld Kikola's naked form through the lens of passion and her throat went dry. In that moment, it hit her. Tehvay knew that this would be Kikola's first time. The thought scared her a little. She wanted to give Kikola a beautiful first experience, but she was a little afraid. They had been here before. Tonight will be different.
For Tehvay, this too would be a first time: the first time she had ever made love with someone – not forced to perform a sexual act for her owner's gratification, but truly making love with the person she loved. Suddenly, she felt a twinge of anticipation bordering on fear. What if I can't do this?
She tried to push the fear away. Her hand reached out and settled on Kikola's waist. She inclined her head and their lips met. She felt an immediate spark like lightning striking dry tinder. That Kikola could elicit such a response with just a kiss made Tehvay yearn for more. Her body thrilled when Kikola's hand touched her waist. Her heart beat faster as the hand travelled upwards. She felt a thumb brush against her breast.
Tehvay broke the kiss, and took hold of Kikola's hand before it fully reached its destination. She covered her feelings with a smile.
"Let's get comfortable," said Tehvay, and led Kikola to the bed.
Kikola lay on her back and Tehvay moved to lie on top of her. They kissed again. Tehvay realised that she was holding both of Kikola's wrists in an effort to stop herself from being touched.
"Sorry," she said, as she pulled back and released her grip.
"It's okay," said Kikola. "We will do this your way. Whatever way you feel comfortable."
Memories of a lifetime of abuse came flooding back. She loved Kikola. She knew that the sexual act could be pleasurable, but for her it had only been a tool to subjugate and hurt her – an act solely for the benefit of her owners.
"Tehvay?"
She looked down at Kikola.
"We don't have to do—"
"I'm okay. I'm ready," Tehvay cut her off.
She cupped Kikola's breast and lifted it to her mouth. She coaxed Kikola's nipple to harden with her tongue. Kikola moaned with delight. This emboldened Tehvay to trace a path towards the thatch of dark, curly hair. Kikola's breathing intensified. Tehvay allowed her hand to linger, twisting the hair gently around her fingertips.
When Kikola's hand came up and covered Tehvay's nipple, she flinched. Kikola immediately pulled her hand away and sought Tehvay's eyes.
Tehvay gave her an embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that."
"Do you want to stop?"
"No, I want this." Tehvay pulled Kikola in close and kissed her mouth and neck. "I want you."
Tehvay's hand roamed freely and Kikola's body responded to her touch in a way that filled Tehvay with joy. In turn, she welcomed Kikola's exploration up to the point when her hand skimmed across Tehvay's pelvic area. What had felt pleasurable suddenly made her flesh crawl. She screamed and jumped out of bed. She curled up on the floor, weeping.
Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her tight.
"There is no rush," whispered Kikola.
"Next time. I promise," Tehvay sobbed. That's what I said last time, she thought.
"I know this is not easy for you," said Kikola. "We will do this when you are ready. Not before. If the next time you can't go through with it, just stop. I won't mind. I love you. That's all that matters."
"I'm sorry."
"Shhh. We got further than last time," Kikola said with a hint of encouragement.
Why? Why can't I do it? If she ordered me to do it, I would. Why can't I do it of my own free will?