CHARACTER DISCLAIMER:

The characters herein are mine. Any resemblance to real or fictional people is strictly part of your imagination. Some places in the story are real and some are fictional.

LOVE/SEX WARNING/DISCLAIMER:

This story depicts an explicit love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story.

Author's note: I want to thank my Beta reader Kate. She is truly amazing and has lots of patience. <g> And thank you to all the characters in this story, you know who you are.

Designs of the Heart

Part 10

By Heartbrkn Bard

October 1989

Several weeks had passed since Desi and Jack met up at the Lavender Chair. It was very touch and go. They spoke on the phone every so often and saw each other even less. Jack was starting to feel lonely. She was getting the itch to go out again. When her pal, Willie B, called to tell her that it was a special ladies night tonight, she couldn’t resist telling him she would meet him there. Now the only problem was Desi. She would never go for it, not after everything that had happened. Think, Jack, think. How can you get out of it?

The sound of the phone scared the day lights out of Jack. Who the hell could this be?

"Hello?"

"Hey honey, how are you on this beautiful night?" asked Desi.

That’s it…. " Actually, I am not feeling too well, babe."

"Oh my poor baby. Would you like me to come over and take care of you?" asked the concerned woman.

" That is so sweet, but I think I am going to go lie down and try to sleep it off," said Jack.

"Hmm..Ok, but if you need anything please call me," answered Desi hesitantly.

"I will Desi, thanks. Good night, and sweet dreams."

"You too sweetie. You too."

Jack’s mind was playing tricks on her the whole time she was out. There were a couple of cuties out, but she kept her eye on the door thinking Desi just might show up. What a disaster that would be if Jack was caught here. She should have just stayed home. But in spite of everything she did have a nice evening. At about three in the morning, Jack made her good night rounds and headed home.

Upon arrival at home, the blue-eyed beauty had a strange feeling stirring inside as if she was being watched or something bad was about to happen. Low and behold when Jack made it upstairs to her apartment, there was a note on her pillow.

P.S. Hope you had fun tonight.

Oh my god, I am so fucked!!! How the heck will I ever get out of this one?? There is no legitimate excuse I could possibly tell her, and get away with it. I guess I’ll just sleep on it for now. Shit, I can’t believe this happened.

The next morning Jack was awakened by the sound of her phone.

"Yeah," answered the groggy woman.

"Have fun last night?" asked the green-eyed beauty.

The sound of Desi’s voice woke Jack right up.

"Let me explain…"

"There is nothing to explain, my dear. You wanted to go out and found you needed to lie to me as opposed to talking to me about it."

"That’s not it," Jack tried to explain.

"Sweetie, it is it, no matter how much you love me, you find the urge to go to the fucken club a priority."

"I am sorry, Desi. I promise to change," pleaded the dark haired woman.

"Don’t bother, Jack. I need to be first in someone’s life. That woman Lisa I told you I met, well she puts me first."

"Please don’t do this!" cried Jack.

"Don’t do this? Why shouldn’t I? Why should I shove a woman who is willing to give me everything I need to the side? Jack honey, there is more to life than that fucking club."

For the first time in a long time, Jack was speechless. She knew Desi was right. She could not explain her actions. A ‘please’ was all she could manage to get out.

"Jack, I’m sorry, it just has to be this way."

With that closing statement the green-eyed beauty hung up the phone.

Jack was beside herself with grief. What will I do? How will I live without her? How could I have been so stupid and self centered? What the hell is wrong with me??

A week had gone by and Jack was very withdrawn. She continuously cried and locked herself in her room. She would go to work, come home and go straight to her room. It was as if she was punishing herself.

Her roommate Sam was very concerned about her as well.

"Sweetie, I am here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, I’m ok, I’ll live," answered Jack.

"I am very worried about you. You have not eaten in days, talked to anyone on the phone, or anything. How about you and I go out for drinks tonight?" asked Sam.

"Sam, that is very thoughtful of you, but I just don’t have it in me to face anyone right now."

"Honey, you must stop doing this to yourself. Relationships are a very difficult thing to deal with. Not all relationships end up in happily ever after. It is normal though, just another phase of life we are meant to go through."

"Sam, you just don’t get it. I screwed it up. Desi gave me another chance and I lied, once again. Why? I’ll tell you why. Because I just have to push away all the good things in my life, as if I don’t deserve it. I have to test the waters ‘til I drown. I did this to me, and now it’s time that I punish myself.

" Honey, I beg to differ. First of all, don’t you think if you were so content in your relationship with Desi, you wouldn’t have had the urge to go out, to lie to her? No you wouldn’t have. Face it, things were missing, that both of you refuse to admit. And second of all I think her telling you the she will give this Lisa chick a chance is way more than enough punishment."

"But…."

"But nothing, you need to stop this insanity, right now. Now, I am jumping in the shower and when I get out I expect you to be dressed and ready to go out for a few drinks," demanded Sam.

"But…."

"Like I said before, no buts…. now get…go get ready."

Jack new Sam was right in a way. She also new that Sam would not take no for an answer, so she had no choice but to go get ready. Thank the gods for good friends.

It was pleasant at the Lavender Chair. It was early and not many people were out. Jack enjoyed a drink with her roommate. The music started kicking and the beat got Jack tripping. She went on the dance floor and let off a little steam. With the sweat dripping off her brow, she lowered her head, and then swung it back to shake off some sweat. Low and behold, there was Desi, hand in hand with Lisa. Jack’s jaw dropped, as did Desi’s.

The eye contact was enough to burn a hole in both of them. Jack ran off the dance floor crying into the bathroom.

" I can’t believe she came here," cried Jack to herself.

Not knowing Desi followed her into the bathroom, the sound of her voice was startling. " I am sorry. I didn’t really think you would be here. Besides, Lisa wanted to come to meet some friends."

"How could you do this to me? Yes I fucked up, but you know damn well I love you. And to see you with someone else just kills me," wept Jack.

"Jack, I am sorry. It was not meant to be thrown in your face."

The blue-eyed woman couldn’t take being in the same space as her ex. She turned around to walk out and Desi grabbed her arm.

"Don’t touch me," cried Jack.

"Babe, please don’t do this."

"Don’t do this? Do what? In two months you find someone else, how much could you have truly loved me? I am upset, with good reason."

"That’s not how it is…" Desi tried to explain.

"Don’t bother explaining any more, just remember she will never love you like I do."

On that note, Jack walked back out to the dance floor in search of Sam. Desi came running behind.

"Jack, YOU remember one thing, NO ONE will ever love you like I do," screamed the upset woman.

Once again Jack was speechless. In the corner of her eye she saw Sam running toward her.

"Sweetie, are you ok? I was looking for you."

" I want to leave now," demanded Jack.

"Ok, let’s go."

Sam felt bad for his friend. Not in a million years did he think that Desi would go to the club, and sporting her new girlfriend as well. Love is hard, but break ups are harder.

To be continued….

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