Part 3b - Conclusion

Contact: noumenal_rabbit@hotmail.com

Part 1

TOGETHER

By

Icebard

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ordinary Problems

Saturday 10th May, Year 4 :

'So, I'm not sure what is going to happen,' Vibeke said.

They were sitting at the breakfast table having a good breakfast - Ember had decided to make pancakes and also to fry some bacon. Since it was a Saturday morning they were up a little later than usual and were taking their time. They had not slept so much during the night because they had found themselves making love at great length, sleeping for a while and then waking up and making love again. They had finally made it out of bed at close to ten o'clock and, after sharing a shower had prepared a large breakfast together.

The day was cloudy and cold for the time of year. The light was grey and the wind gusted, whistling around the edges of the house and rushing through the trees, tugging their branches this way and that. Some sticks and leaves, torn free, were picked up and whipped through the air.

Ember took a sip of tea and considered what Vibeke had said. 'You've been working there for quite some time. Do you enjoy it as much as you used to?'

Vibeke took a bite of crispy bacon. She stared out the window for half a minute and said: 'It has changed. I think it was a bit more relaxed when I first worked there. I guess the owner is fairly ambitious and he has done quite well making it more profitable, but it has led to more work for me. But I still like it. I like that most of the time he is not there and that in any case he does know I do a good job even if he never says so. I like working with Felicia.' She shrugged then. 'If the nursery is bought out though it'll probably just be turned into a garden centre. No more growing of plants required or necessary. I might be asked to stay on of course, but I'd effectively just be working in a shop.'

'How would you feel about that?' Ember asked.

Vibeke drizzled some liquid chocolate over a pancake, then cut out a section with her knife and fork and ate it. 'You know, this tastes just great. It really hits the spot. Great idea to make pancakes!' And she smiled at Ember.

'I'm glad you like them.'

'In answer to your question, I don't know. I'd probably take the job at first just so that I wouldn't be out of work. I guess it would be all right. Not interesting, but certainly not difficult or stressful.' She looked up into Ember's eyes for a moment, then down, seeming slightly embarrassed. 'I regret that I don't have any really sought-after skills. I always knew that I was never interested in having a big career but I do feel slightly uncomfortable that I don't have more skills I can really depend on for employment. There are a few large nurseries - like farms really - where I might be able to find work. Otherwise maybe I will just end up working in a shop. I wouldn't mind too much I think.'

'You could always set up a dressmaking business for me,' Ember said with a slightly mischievous look.

Vibeke nodded. 'I know, and I have thought about it since we've talked about it a few times. I imagine it would be fairly profitable too - you're quite in demand. It kind of scares the hell out of me thought. I'm really not a businesswoman.'

'You'd do a good job though. I know it's not the sort of thing you imagine for yourself because it's not outside and not active - apart from a bit of driving, collecting and delivering. It wouldn't be full-time either. Once you'd set things up and understood how to run accounts and invoices and tax payments and so on.'

'I'm sure I could do it. You could do all that yourself without my help though.'

Ember nodded. 'I know. But I'd rather just make dresses.' She took a last bite of a pancake with honey, finishing it off. Then she placed her hand on Vibeke's and said gently: 'Does it concern you that you'd be working with me? Would you feel at all dependent or uncomfortable?'

Vibeke took her time before answering. As she thought about it, she found herself looking into Ember's concerned eyes, into what she perceived as a sea of ice blue around deep and quite dilated pupils. She felt such a sense of warmth and love then, a deep awareness of their togetherness such that the subject of their conversation seemed completely undisturbing and almost unimportant. 'Your eyes and beauty are touched by this wild weather in interesting ways,' she said softly. Then: 'Thank you Ember. I actually don't know the answer to that. I guess I want to be useful and valuable in whatever work I do. I'd know that what I do is less important than what you do, that you could do it without me but that I could not do it without you. I would in that sense be dependent on you. But the idea of you being more valuable than me is hardly a problem for me. You are more valuable than anything in the world to me. I think worrying about comparative value is probably silly. As long as I'm useful.'

Ember sipped her tea. 'It's amazing how our work is so insignificant compared with our being together. It doesn't really matter, does it? We need to work so we can live and but food and pay bills but it seems so paltry compared with what I feel right now in my awareness of you.'

Vibeke grinned and shifted her chair. Then, with a small grunt of effort, lifted Ember out of her chair and onto her lap so that they could hold each other close for a time.

Sunday 11th :

'That does not feel right,' Ember said, pulling the car over to the side of the rather busy dual carriageway at the first place she could where they would not still be on the inside lane.

'Flat tire?' Vibeke asked.

'I think so.'

They climbed out - Ember having to wait until a couple of cars had flashed past. The noise of the traffic was quite loud since the vehicles were travelling at speed. A lorry passed them, chill air buffeting them as it did so.

'Damn, it's on the driver's side,' Vibeke said after a quick look. It was the front tire on the right.

They went to the boot to get the jack and the spare wheel. Pulling back the carpet, Vibeke lifted the wheel clear and set it down on the road beside her. 'Can you set out the breakdown triangle some way back?' she asked. 'I'll pull the car over another couple of feet, right up onto the grass before I change the wheel.'

Ember nodded and opened the reflective triangle and walked back a little way along the edge of the road to put it down.

Vibeke had rolled the wheel to the front of the car before she became suspicious of how hard it was. She pushed her thumb into it and bounced it. 'Oh dear,' she said to herself.

Ember returned to her side.

'Unfortunately our spare wheel's tire is also flat,' Vibeke said. 'We're going to need to call the breakdown service.'

Ember nodded. 'I'll get my phone.'

---------

An hour later they were at a garage in a village off the main road about five miles from where they had broken down. Vibeke paid the bill for the tow.

'Thanks,' the grizzled tow-truck driver said. He was a rather heavy and unkempt man with what she imagined was a near-permanent stubble, but he also seemed to be a decent and straightforward sort. He gave them a small wave after climbing back into the cab and starting the engine before pulling back out of the garage's forecourt.

Vibeke and Ember stood outside as the two tires were repaired. Vibeke wrapped her arms around Ember when she realised that she was shivering.

'My coat's in the car,' Ember said. 'But I like your warmth better,' she said with a giggle. 'I know that was a cheap line but I thought I'd say it anyway. It's also true.'

'Do you still want to go to the moors?' Vibeke asked.

'Yes, I think it'll be good. We won't have quite so much time but it'll still be nice. I want to see those bronze age ruins again. That was really interesting. I wonder if there might have been some more among the trees and undergrowth on one side of the area. I'd like to have a look.'

---------

It was almost nine o'clock when they pulled into the driveway. They were hungry and pleasantly tired.

'That was a good day,' Ember said.

'It was,' Vibeke agreed and patted Ember's thigh. 'Thanks for driving.'

They climbed out, took their small packs and coats and locked the car, then walked along the short path to the front door. 'How about I make some soup and a couple of boiled eggs to go with the rest of our tea?' Vibeke said. 'I have a feeling you're probably hungry. I know I am.'

'That sounds great.'

Ember unlocked and opened the front door and threw the lightswitch but the hall light did not come on. Going through to the living room she tried to turn on another light but it also remained off. 'Either a power cut or a broken fuse I guess,' she said to Vibeke.

Vibeke went back outside towards the road until she could see the house next door and the house opposite it. Lights were on in both, as was the solitary streetlamp she could see.

Back indoors she said: 'I'll get a torch and check the fuses.'

---------

They ate their evening meal by candlelight. They were still able to have soup and boiled eggs since they had a gas stove.

'This is really rather romantic,' Ember said with a grin.

'It is.' Vibeke reached out and cupped Ember's cheek with her hand. 'I love looking at the way the candlelight dances in your eyes. The colour is less distinct but an amazing liquid depth is added.'

Ember actually felt herself blushing slightly at the compliment. Vibeke very often complimented her, always with complete sincerity, and it amazed her that it could still sometimes make her blush.

They ate quietly then, glad to be home and warm, to have food and tea and the peace of the evening. They were both tired and would probably turn in before long.

'I'll call the electrician first thing,' Vibeke said. 'If they can only come round during the day I'll make sure I'm here.'

'Are you sure? I'm sure Evelyn wouldn't mind me popping home for whatever time it'll take.'

'It's fine.'

Ember tilted he head as if puzzled and then suddenly beamed at Vibeke. 'You don't like the idea of me being alone with a strange man in case he is dangerous or threatening.'

Vibeke covered her face with her hand and shook her head, chuckling at herself. 'Busted. Guilty as charged. I know the electrician will probably turn out to be a little old man who's no more threatening than a hamster, but I do feel a little protective of you, you know.'

'And I find that really charming.'

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Chapter Twenty-Seven

Physicality and Dancing

Thursday 12th June, year 4 :

Vibeke :

I run and run. I do not know if you understand or relate to the energy that fills me today. But, though I might have found myself worried and self-conscious shortly after we met, now I know that you will accept and wonder and see this in a positive light, even if you will not fully understand. I smile as I think this. I realise that you will more than likely simply be fascinated by what it is that I have become.

I feel an amazing energy within me. Though I often feel physical energy and like to release it and I exercise both regularly and intensely, I have not felt such energy as this in quite a long time. I feel amazingly focused and my breathing and heartbeat and movement feels almost effortless. I think that with such good weather today, with the time that we have - a day off, and three more days off after it - I may be able to hold onto this mood for the next eight or ten hours. If so then I will probably seem manic, empowered, unstoppable, restless, exhorting and more. I hope that you will enjoy it.

I am glad that this is possible at our home and around it. I watch as the corner of the path around the field that backs onto our home passes me a sixth time as I round the field. I feel as if I will never have to stop.

But back at the house I halt my run and go to the garage so that I might lift weights for a while.

As I bench-press I hear the door open and your quiet steps. I suspect that you are bringing me a bottle of water and perhaps something to eat. When I set the barbell down and sit up from the bench, I see that I was right. I look into your eyes and smile. 'Thank you,' I say to you.

---------

Later, I run for seven or eight miles along paths of the fields and woodlands I am not familiar with. Back in our garage I spend more than an hour working out against the hanging punch-bag.

I am aware that you are sketching pictures of me, one after another. I am glad that you feel that there are moments to capture in my release of energy.

Ember :

I am aware that you are very tired but I am also aware that your senses are enhanced in some ways. When we ate barbecued food this evening you clearly very much enjoyed it - and I really enjoyed your enjoyment of the chicken drumsticks, burgers, fried onions, mustard and ketchup and toasted rolls that you ate. I liked them too but you must have been very hungry. I was impressed that we ate such a large salad with such pleasure. I enjoyed preparing it and I think I will prepare a variation upon it tomorrow.

You were so beautiful today. You are always beautiful, but I so much enjoyed watching you as you fell into a fugue of exercise. I fell into a fugue as I watched you. I reflected that I would also like to watch you playing tennis or squash, though I know you do not usually like competitive sports. Yet for me you are my gladiator, my fighter, my heroine, my champion.

---------

It is finally dark.

'Would you like to live in a place above the Arctic circle?' I ask. We are sitting on the sofa together. Your head is upon my lap and I run my fingers through your hair. I have lit a single candle that burns in the open window.

'I think it would depend where above the Arctic circle,' you reply. 'Maybe in Norway or Iceland.'

'I like the idea of nights one barely sacrifices to sleep but which one celebrates.'

I look into your eyes and smile. I can see that you are relaxed and physically tired, though not sleepy - I can see that you are very aware of all that is around you.

'Will you dance for me?' you say.

I am slightly surprised by this. I have danced for you on many occasions but realise that this evening I have underestimated your alertness.

'I would like so much to watch you,' you say. 'You are so beautiful.'

I nod, looking into your eyes. 'I will be happy to,' I say softly.

For a minute or so I sit there. And then I lift your head from my lap as you shift around so that you are sitting up. You give me a slightly sheepish smile as you make yourself comfortable. I watch as you reach for the teapot - hot over the candle that I lit beneath its stand - and pour yourself another cup of tea.

So curious, I think. Usually I perceive you as so strong, a force of nature that envelopes me. Yet now, tired as you are, you are also vulnerable - though I know that if there was any danger you would fiercely protect me. I am happy to give you the pleasure that you ask for.

I pad barefoot across to the stereo system and change the CD to something that seems appropriate - something with both a strong rhythm and complexity. As it begins I think it has the atmosphere of mystical northern landscapes, tribal drums and drifting snow. I turn up the volume and then turn to you, watching you. I am wearing a tank top, shorts and underwear and I can see that you find me desirable. Sometimes I have donned carefully selected clothes for you before I have danced, but today I think that this casual look will suffice - at least until I end up naked. The thought makes me smile and a I feel a wave of excitement rush through me in a tingling flush of my skin.

How many times have I danced for you since we met? Many times, I know that, and I am glad that your wish to watch me has not lessened. I can see what seems to be a perpetual fascination in you, just as I have a perpetual fascination with you. I do not think I could ever grow tired of watching you move or the sound of your voice or less desirous of your body or less stimulated by your thoughts. Even you quiet silences fascinate me.

I look into your eyes and sway with the rhythm of the music. I am aware of the closeness with which you watch me, the smile that touches your lips. I know that you like the movement of my body. Now I let myself show you what I want you to desire and to possess.

Vibeke :

I feel my heart beat harder as you cross the room to the stereo and choose some music. I do not suppose you are unusually aware of how you are moving - at the moment, I guess, you are considering what music to put on and perhaps how you will dance. Yet for me the dance has already begun. I love the way you pick up one CD and another, discarding a couple before you find what you want. I love the way your hands move, the way you bend to pick up or discard a disc. Once you brush strands of hair back from your face - you have let your hair grow a little longer recently. It was never very short and I am not sure what I prefer. What I do know is that I like the way your face is framed in each way and I do enjoy the differences.

When your choice of music fills the room I think it is a good choice. It is evocative rather than of any clear form. The drumming is impressive.

Then you turn to me and begin to move, slowly at first, and the music is simply a background thing that carries us. My awareness and attention are all for you.

You move, sway, shift. You reach back behind your head, bring your arms down. Your movements are simple, revealing such wondrous articulation and grace. I know that you are revealing yourself to me but there is something so utterly sincere about it that it seems not a performance but merely that you are showing me some of what you are, bringing to me an awareness of the wonders of your body in motion.

You move more, gradually increasing your response to the rhythms. I can see that you are enjoying it, that you are not thinking too much but letting yourself be carried away by your self-expression.

For ten minutes and more I watch you dance and move. You shift about the room and even climb, on all fours, towards me across the coffee table. You raise your tank top over your head, revealing your breasts to me and the curving lines of your bare back. I watch as every small movement reveals a different aspect of you. I love the way your shoulders shift, the muscles in your back and arms. I love the way your breasts move with each breath - deeper now, as you exert yourself - and each step and sway.

You slip out of your shorts and your underwear. You spin about the room and I can see your joy in this freedom, your joy in your awareness of how much pleasure you bring me.

After a while there is a light sheen of sweat upon you and I want so much to taste you. I have licked droplets of sweat from skin before, and suckled upon the wetness between your legs and I know that this will always bring me bliss.

In a short while or a long while I know that we will share each other's bodies and love, entwined together until we find sweet delightments and release. But there is no urgency. I will be happy for your dancing and then our caresses to continue for as long as they might.

I am floating upon a timeless appreciation of your beauty and desire, floating upon my desire for you.

--------

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Science and Archaeology

Saturday 10th January, Year 5 :

Vibeke looked at Ember across the corner of the breakfast table. She smiled. 'Well, I think I'll get on with it. Do you mind clearing away the breakfast things today?'

'No, of course not.' Ember returned her smile and rested her hand on the back of Vibeke's upon the table. 'You don't really want to do this do you?'

'Actually . . . I'm not sure. There's certainly no point getting a decorator in, and I'd as soon do it as you. I think once I get going it might actually be fairly enjoyable. It's just sometimes difficult to start things.'

'True enough. I'll be doing some cleaning while you're at it. Let's have a good late lunch when we're done, and let's think of a really nice way to spend the evening.'

Fifteen minutes later Vibeke was moving furniture - or just covering it with plastic - in their bedroom. Once she had finished there, she did the same thing with the furniture in Ember's studio.

And then she set to work painting the walls and ceiling in the bedroom, using a pleasant pastel shade, cream with a touch of rose, that would go well with the deep, wine-red curtains. She used a ladder, and a large sheet of plastic that she moved across the floor beneath whatever area she was working on. She had a roller and a paintbrush. She wore old clothes and was soon spattered with drops of paint - though not too badly.

As she worked she kept the light on because the day was grey and gloomy and the light coming through the windows was rather dull. She smiled when she heard Ember singing quietly to herself as she went about getting the general housework done in the kitchen, dining area, living room and bathroom.

It did not take very long. Good paint , she thought. My thanks to the technologists of the world . When she was done with the bedroom she took a break to drink some tea with Ember.

----------

Ember washed the tiles on the walls of the kitchen as well as the usual cleaning. After vacuuming she washed the coffee table and then spent quite a lot of time dusting throughout the living room, on the bookshelves and the stereo system and television, upon all the surfaces. She cleaned the bathroom from top to bottom - excluding the ceiling.

When she was done she peeped into the bedroom to see how Vibeke was doing, and seeing that she was nearly finished she went to the kitchen to make them a pot of tea. She took out a packet of oat biscuits with chocolate as well - both of them liked this particular type of biscuit very much, and last time they had gone to the supermarket they had both put a packet in their trolley without realising that the other also did so.

They sat at the kitchen table while they sipped from their mugs.

'Not too much paint in your hair,' Ember commented.

'Just a little. It went really all right. The only thing that was awkward was when I splashed drops of paint onto the light fixture or onto the window and had to clean it off quickly before it dried.' She took a bite of her second biscuit. 'Good idea,' she said after enjoying it and swallowing, gesturing with the biscuit.

Ember chuckled. 'We can be predictable at times.'

'But only in a good way.'

'True enough.'

When she had finished most of a second cup of tea Vibeke stood from the table and went to get on with painting the study. She used a different roller and a different brush, and used white paint - it was important to Ember's artwork that there was no obvious or dominant colour in most of the room.

It was quicker to do than the bedroom. She found herself humming the tune that Ember had been quietly singing earlier.

---------

Ember's art equipment, stacks of paintings and sketchpads were mostly in the hallway. She manoeuvred around them to put away the vacuum cleaner in the cupboard and then looked at what was in the cupboard to see if there was any junk that might be thrown out - unlikely, since neither she nor Vibeke liked clutter and were pretty good at getting rid of what they did not need - or any treasures to be found.

She noticed a cardboard box that she had brought here but which she had not opened in all the time since she had moved here. Bringing it down from its shelf, she carried it into the living room and flipped open the lid.

I feel like an archaeologist looking at ancient artifacts , she thought as she looked through what was within.

There were a few photographs and letters. There were also a few wooden carvings, each no more than two inches across, all of animals. She remembered buying them at a museum near the children's home she had lived in when she had been seven years old. It had taken her several weeks to collect them and several trips, each time spending most of her very small pocket money allowance. But she had been delighted with them.

There was also a small diary she had kept off and on when she had been about ten years old. Opening it, she found herself wondering at her rounded, childish handwriting. She read a few entries and looked at a few sketches that were there. Then she read a story, just two pages long, that she had written and realised she had not thought of it almost since she had written it.

It fascinated her. It was based on a story the children had been read at school but there were significant differences. Ember's protagonists were both woman and one of them was a powerful heroine that saved the other.

I was the other , Ember thought. And I was waiting and hoping for the heroine to come to me, to love me and for me to be in love with. So strange. And now my heroine is with me.

---------

Vibeke was glad when she had finished clearing away paint-spattered sheets of plastic and had left the rollers and brushes to soak. She returned the furniture and everything else to the rooms she had painted. Then she cleaned brushes and rollers and took them and pots of paint and folded sheets of plastic out to the garden shed to put them away.

Back in the house she stripped out of her old clothes and put them in the washing machine, then took a shower and changed into clean jeans, a t-shirt and a warm pullover.

It was late in the afternoon now and quite dark. Ember was cooking and Vibeke took a seat at the kitchen table and just watched her contentedly, amazed as she so often was by how happy she felt.

Sunday 11th :

'This was a great idea!' Ember said, sitting in the passenger seat and opening the foil that wrapped the butter and bacon sandwiches Vibeke had made earlier.

Vibeke glanced at her then looked back to the road. There had been very little traffic at all on their journey so far. 'Even though we got up rather early?'

'Well, we usually get up quite early. You know, so that we can share plenty of love in the mornings.' She chuckled. 'I love just thinking of your touch, the feel of you when I wake up. Or go to bed. Or in between. The reality is even better.'

Vibeke looked at her again, smiling broadly. Then Ember handed her a sandwich and she took it and took a bite.

'Damn, that's really good,' she said.

'Would you like some coffee afterwards?' Ember asked.

'Yes, please.'

Outside, the dual carriageway sped beneath them; fields and hills, villages and farms, woodland and a few mills or factories passed by. The day was quite bright, intermittent sunshine sloping in pale, wintry rays between the clouds and across the landscape.

----------

They arrived in Plymouth at half past ten. Driving down around the estuary and into the small city was picturesque and pleasant.

'Let's find a carpark and then walk a bit before we go to the museums,' Vibeke said. 'I'd like to stretch my legs a bit.'

'All right.' Ember was looking at a map of Plymouth. 'There's a park we could walk around that looks like it might be nice.'

---------

They had lunch in a café-restaurant that was rather like an American diner in its layout and appearance, though it sold typical English fry-ups, soups, fish and chips and fried chicken as well as burgers.

'This coffee is really pretty good,' Vibeke said, quite impressed as they finished their meal.

'It was a pleasantly indulgent feast,' Ember replied.

---------

It was a little after one o'clock when they entered the archaeology museum. There were not too many other people around - it was not the time of year for tourism.

Vibeke smiled as they walked into the first of the exhibit halls and saw Ember's face light up with wonder and delight.

'Wow!' Ember breathed. 'This is amazing. A Phoenician ship! I didn't expect there to be something like this here. Is it real or a reconstruction? What a distinctive shape! Of course I remember now, the Phoenicians and Romans and others traded with the ancient Britons around here for the tin that was mined.'

For an hour and a half they wandered through the halls, galleries and rooms. The museum was not especially large but its spaces were extremely well used and there was a great deal to see, together with both short explanations of what was on display as well as longer explanations being available in a book that could be borrowed or bought and read during their wanderings - Vibeke opted to buy a copy since both she and Ember were interested. She thought she would likely read it from cover to cover at home, and she also thought it would be a nice memento of their trip here.

'It's so hard to imagine how one would find life so long ago,' Ember said as they looked at some remains that had been found in a barrow just a few miles from the museum. The skeleton was complete though it was not in good condition. There were interesting rings of coiled bronze, and what seemed to be an axe head of some kind. There were even some fragments of leather and crude cloth. There were other Bronze Age remains - metal objects, jewellery, pots and shards, together with maps and diagrams and artists' impressions of what early settlements looked like based on what was left of them. 'I mean, if we stepped through a door and found ourselves in Ancient Britain during pre-Roman times, living in stone huts and following Druidic beliefs, farming or hunting. It must often have been a difficult life. Little medicine, no supermarkets or refrigerators or decent plumbing. But beautiful too. Imagine all that space, the natural forests and so on. But our perceptions, as people from the future would be so different to the perceptions those born there would have. They would find some difficulties simpler to accept, simply normal, while the natural world would be so different to them - not only beautiful but also mysterious and sometimes menacing if there were wolves or big cats.'

Then Ember looked up at Vibeke and her eyes were full of light. 'I wonder what you would have been if you had been born in ancient Egypt, or the Golden Age of Greece, or two thousand years ago in the Nordic countries. I think you would have been some kind of fighting woman.'

Vibeke smiled at her. 'Really? Don't you think that, being something of a pacifist except in extreme cases, I'd not be much good as a fighter? Although I confess to liking the odd action movie, I really don't like any kind of violence and even verbal violence really disturbs me. Besides, I'm not sure they had many female fighters back then.'

'They had a few,' Ember said. 'Actually you're too fair to fit in in Egypt or Greece but you'd look great in Norse battle gear. I imagine your long hair in plaits, and you dressed in leathers or even furs, wielding an axe or two. And you're so strong and fast, and your beauty would distract your enemies too.'

'And what would you be?' Vibeke asked with a sideways smile. 'I imagine you as a bard or a musician or a master craftswoman of some kind. You'd make a really beautiful Norse princess you know.'

Hand in hand they strolled into the next room.

---------

They found a pleasant tea shop in a narrow street around the corner from the archaeology museum, and stopped there for tea and pastries. The street had a number of small establishments, unusual jewellery shops, a New Age shop and some curious clothes stores. 'I won't look!' Ember had said to herself, keeping her eyes forward as much as she could as they had walked down it. 'I won't look or I'll lose track of time and we won't make it to the science museum.'

But they took a pleasant three quarters of an hour in the tea shop and enjoyed the fragrant teas they chose - taking sips of each other's to find out what they were like - and the apple pastry and custard pastry that they shared.

'It's good to come into a place like this when it's so cold out,' Ember remarked.

'It is,' Vibeke agreed. She looked outside, seeing a couple of people making their way along the street. There were few pedestrians, few people shopping. The day was grey and cold and seemed rather empty, rather bleak, but she liked its peacefulness.

At length they stood, and put on their coats and walked the short way to the science museum.

'I like that coat on you,' Vibeke said as they went. Ember was wearing a coat of heavy black cloth with interesting tassels that were attractive but not overdone.

'I'm glad you chose if for me,' Ember replied.

'Oh,' Vibeke said, suddenly surprised. 'Yes, I did. I knew that. It's just that I looked at you and thought it looked good on you and said it aloud.'

Ember's gloved hand gave Vibeke's a little squeeze. 'And I think that scarf looks great on you. It really goes with your eyes and hair.'

----------

Vibeke found herself laughing at Ember's antics.

'What?' Ember said, turning to her and feigning outrage. 'It's not my fault if I can't line up the lights properly.'

'Well, you already did line them up properly. You're just not supposed to line them up in that particular sequence of colours.'

'But I like this sequence of colours. They just keep jumping out of line again!'

They were on the third floor of the science museum. It had an interesting layout because the old, pillared and sculpted building that housed it was quite tall - at least eight stories - but also quite narrow. Its rooms were not especially large either so there were no very large displays, but what was there was very interesting.

'Hey, look at this!' Ember said, leaving the light display behind. 'It's a heat camera.'

For a minute they stood in front of the camera and looked at themselves on the large screen that was set beside it.

'You look weird,' Ember said.

'Yes. I do have rather a yellow face and red nose and ears.'

'Your hands are cooler than mine.'

'Your eyes are amazing when you look directly at the camera,' Vibeke said. 'I wonder what temperature registers coming from your pupils.'

They stood there and moved a little, turning and regarding themselves and each other. Then Ember turned to Vibeke with a twinkle in her eyes and a mischievous grin. She glanced around them - there was no one there - and then she said: 'Let's try something.'

Ember leaned in then, and tilted her face upwards and cupped Vibeke's face. She kissed her upon her lips, softly and then with more force as Vibeke returned the kiss. She felt like she was melting, wanting more, but finally pulled herself back.

Then they turned towards the camera and the screen.

'Remarkable,' Vibeke said with a raised eyebrow - the effect was exactly what she had expected.

'Yes, your kisses certainly are,' Ember replied, looking at the way their lips glowed with heat on the screen.

---------

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Loving Each Other

Saturday 17th - Tuesday 20th July, Year 5 :

'Aaahh, a whole week off work starting today.' Ember smiled happily as she strolled to the doorway of the bedroom, leaned against the doorframe and then pushed off from it, spinning in a circle and then stepping across to Vibeke.

Vibeke looked up at her and grinned. Ember was wearing a short, pale green skirt that ended at mid-thigh and which was belted with a string belt. She wore a small red top with spaghetti straps that revealed plenty of cleavage and which ended just below her breasts, leaving her belly bare. And that appeared to be all she was wearing. She was clearly not wearing a bra and Vibeke wondered if she was even wearing any underwear. Her bare feet and bare legs and bare arms and shoulders and belly all had a healthy glow of sun and warmth - and a very slight suggestion of sweat.

A wave of desire rushed through Vibeke at the sight of her, of her movement, of the muscles shifting in her thighs and calves, of her breasts moving with each breath, each change of angle as she bent down over the bed. The desire settled in a warm glow deep in Vibeke's belly.

'What are you doing?' Ember asked as she sat down beside her on the bed.

Vibeke regarded Ember's lovely face - a little flushed in the heat of this very hot day - and the ice-blue light in her amazing eyes, which were now turned towards the papers and a few photographs and printed pages that were spread out and piled beside her.

'Right now I'm thinking about how beautiful and desirable you are, and that with the clothes you're wearing it's something of a miracle that I'm not bursting into flames, spontaneously combusting on the spot.'

Ember looked up at her and beamed. When she glanced down at herself Vibeke realised that she had not been meaning to be provocative and had not thought of what effect she might have on Vibeke right then. When she looked up her expression was earnest and suddenly open and perhaps a little vulnerable.

'I am glad you find me desirable,' Ember said, and looked down again for a moment before looking back up into Vibeke's eyes. 'I find you so desirable, my yearning for you sometimes so strong that it is as if any more intensity of feeling could not be endured.' She reached out and took Vibeke's hand. 'It is a wonderful thing.'

Vibeke gave her a little squeeze, and with her free hand reached out and cupped Ember's cheek softly. She ran her thumb across Ember's lips, once then twice, feeling the softness of them, looking at their fullness and pleasing sensual shape, watching in something approaching awe as those lips parted a little in a caught breath.

Then with an effort of will she pulled away, wanting a shower after a couple of hours of fairly heavy work in the garden earlier. She wanted to make love with Ember but would be patient so that the reward would be greater.

'I was just sorting through some of the notes and thoughts that I write down, the photos I take, the records I have kept of things,' she said.

'It is quite a collection of things you have written,' Ember said, looking at the papers. 'I've often seen you writing things down and tried to guess what your thoughts might be. Can I have a look at some of them some time?'

'Yes, if you like. Some are just records of things we have done. Some are contemplations and reflections. A few things that I like to remember from time to time. There are some things I've written on my computer that I'd like to print out. And these are the photos that I have printed out - just a few of many that I've taken,' Vibeke said as she reached for a stack and neatened it. You've seen most of them before I think.'

'May I?' Ember asked, and smiled as Vibeke handed her the images. They were in a number of sizes, some of them printed on glossy paper for high quality, some simply on ordinary sheets of A4 - which strangely, in the slight blurring and changing that resulted, gave the pictures a slightly artistic look in some cases.

Ember looked through some of them, smiling or chuckling sometimes as she did so - and Vibeke ran her hand in small circles upon Ember's back, enjoying the simple contact of it.

'A lot of pictures of me,' Ember said.

'Well, you are my favourite subject.' Vibeke took a couple of photos from the pile when she saw them, and held them up. 'These are two of my favourites. Your face is so utterly beautiful in this picture. I can't quite tell what you are thinking but it seems to be something of amazing depth and wonder. I really like the shadows here that darken the right side of you face, the way your hair falls. The colours are so soft too, and your eyes so brilliant.'

'I remember when you took that,' Ember said. 'We were walking through fields not far from here on a spring day.'

'And this is nice too,' Vibeke said as Ember looked at the other. It was a picture of both of them, sitting on their sofa a few days after Christmas. They had propped the camera on the television to take the shot, thinking it would be a fun image but not remarkable. In fact it showed the two of them looking at each other not only with joy but the most extraordinary love - and Vibeke remembered being caught in that moment when they had looked at each other, looking into Ember's eyes and seeing her love for her reflected there, and an infinite tenderness and warmth wrapping about her heart.

'Yes, it is,' Ember said very softly.

Vibeke looked up at her then and saw the seriousness of Ember's face as she examined the photograph; and she saw the liquid shimmer in her eyes that betrayed the welling up of emotion in her as she looked at the two of them looking at each other.

Vibeke squeezed Ember's shoulder, and leaned in and hugged her as a little sniffle escaped her.

'I love you so much Vibeke,' Ember said softly as Vibeke ran her fingers through Ember's short hair and tucked Ember's head beneath her chin.

---------

Vibeke took a shower and shampooed her hair. When she was done, she dried herself with a towel and then wrapped her bathrobe around her, wondering where Ember might be.

She found her in the bedroom, standing at the large window and gazing out into the garden and over the farmland beyond. She did not turn, but leaned back as Vibeke came up behind her and wrapped her arms about her waist.

Vibeke felt Ember's cheek press against hers and knew she was smiling. 'It is very dark,' she said softly. Though it was two o'clock in the afternoon it was as if night was falling. Clouds had been gathering, seeming to congeal all morning and now they seemed to press down upon the world.

Ember nodded a fraction. 'The weather has been so hot and heavy these past few days. It would be good if there was a storm.'

Even as she said this, there was a flicker of lightning away to the south. It seemed that the wind was picking up too. The treetops swayed back and forth, then leaned in a stronger gust. A few leaves flew through the air, and a couple of birds - crows, Vibeke thought - in flight over the field wheeled and struggled against the shifting air.

'Do you feel that sense in the air that something is going to happen?' Vibeke said. 'Like a kind of electricity building up?'

'Yes, it's really something. Maybe it really is electricity. I feel like something wonderful is going to happen.'

They stood there for another couple of minutes, Vibeke holding Ember and Ember leaning back against her, her hands over Vibeke's upon her belly.

'I have a suggestion,' Vibeke said then. 'Let's prepare some lunch and eat in the living room. We could open the patio doors and move the sofa right in front of them. If we're lucky the storm will break and we can watch it. I'll get a blanket to wrap us in if the temperature drops a bit.'

'That's a great idea,' Ember said with enthusiasm. 'I'll be in the kitchen,' she said, stepping out of Vibeke's embrace and turning.

Vibeke returned to the bathroom, shrugged out of her bathrobe, ran a brush through her damp hair, then went back to the bedroom and dressed in string underwear, short denim shorts and a black tank top. Then she found an appropriate blanket, went into the living room and manoeuvred the sofa into position. When that was done she went to join Ember in the kitchen, deciding that she would select plenty of decadent treats to go with their usual light lunch. Ice cream and chocolates seemed like a good plan.

---------

'Right, I think we have everything,' Ember said as they settled upon the sofa. The patio doors were open in front of them and the warm air blew steadily. No rain had yet fallen though.

'We have a lot of good food and a pot of tea,' Vibeke said. 'A blanket. My camera. Your sketch book and pencils.'

'And rabbit slippers and Clyde the Cat slippers just in case,' Ember added with a chuckle.

They toasted each other with lettuce, cheese and pickle sandwiches and nibbled them; and watched and listened as the wind rose still more and the first fat drops of rain began to fall.

They were silent as lightning flickered. It took a while for the thunder to reach them, not very loud but deep, ominous, and lasting for some time. Then more lightning flashed brightly straight after it, ragged lines of electricity connecting clouds to earth. Then there was a more muted rapid flickering, lighting the heavy clouds in sudden brightness from within.

'It looks like the storm is coming directly at us from the south,' Vibeke said, and Ember nodded.

After a few minutes the rain began to fall harder, then harder still, the wind whipping it in sheets across the further distances that became greyed out, the hills and trees and fields of the distances being obscured. The curtains of rain seemed to stumble and surge erratically across the landscape as if fleeing from a great power that chased them. Lightning lanced down more closely in three brilliant flashes that stabbed between sky and ground, and the cracks of thunder shuddered across the land and through the sky, rumbling and deep, making the windows and smaller objects of the house shake. The echoes boomed and rolled around them and away across the countryside.

Ember reached out and took Vibeke's hand. They turned and looked at each other at the same moment, and shared their amazement and joy and anticipation. Their faces were sombre but also filled with emotion.

Storms, Vibeke thought, seemed like they could break the world apart so that everything could start anew. There was excitement in this, and seriousness too, a mixture of destruction and promise.

For a while they did not eat, but simply drank tea and stared and listened as the storm closed in on them and the lightning flashed and the thunder ripped and crashed almost without break. The rain was heavy to an extent that Vibeke thought she had seen only two or three times before in her life. Apart from the lightning everything remained dark grey, indistinct because of the torrential downpour.

A fine misty spray was in the air now and Vibeke and Ember could feel it upon their faces, upon their bare arms. It was pleasant and quite refreshing after the heat of the earlier. The temperature had dropped by quite a few degrees though it was by no means cool.

Vibeke and Ember pulled their feet up onto the sofa and sat cross-legged side by side, looking out and marvelling at the power of the raging storm.

They barely moved for half an hour, until the initial fury had lessened a little. Though the rain still fell very heavily - indeed, it looked as if it had set in for the day, that it would keep falling for a long time - the darkness of the earlier clouds had lightened to a steel grey. Lightning and thunder still raced and boomed across the vault, but not so incessantly.

'I never knew that the bottom of the garden could turn into a stream,' Vibeke said.

Ember nodded. 'There's water flowing down off the road from around the corner. But the house and shed and garage should be all right I think.' She squeezed Vibeke's hand. 'I think some of the flower beds and flowers will be a bit damaged though.'

Vibeke looked across at her and smiled. 'It's all right. It won't be too serious. And you know, I really enjoyed the work out there.'

'I did too,' Ember said after a moment. 'Isn't that funny? That some of what we've done over the past months and years might be damaged but it doesn't take away that fact that we enjoyed doing it.'

'I'm glad it's like that,' Vibeke said. Then she realised that she was slightly chilled because of the damp air and her bare skin, so she spread the thin blanket out over her and Ember's legs. Then she reached for the plate of sandwiches on the small table at the side of the sofa. She offered the plate to Ember, who took one, then took the last for herself.

For a long time they sat there, watching the steady downpour and enjoying the natural fireworks that continued across the sky - and watching the rising water levels at the bottom of their garden and in the field beyond.

As the time passed and the storm quietened but the rain fell onwards they talked a little about what the storm meant to them - whether it was the sound or the light that meant most to them, and what they associated with it - Norse legends and the power of the ancient gods. They remembered storms experienced during childhood and times they had been caught out in the rain.

'I remember that I felt so good lying in bed and listening to the thunder and loud drumming of rain upon the roof,' Ember said. 'Especially when I was at my second children's home. The room I stayed in was in the loft so the sound of the rain was very clear. I really liked it. The head of my bed was close to the window as well, so the rain would drum upon the sill or sometimes be swept by the wind against it.' She smiled, remembering. 'It was strange to me but some of the other children were afraid of the noise and the apparent violence of the elements. A couple of them wondered why I liked it so much. I suppose they had good reasons to be scared of many things given their backgrounds. And now it seems to me to be almost a choice - that I can think about what might happen and expect it to be bad or that I can either not think about it or expect it to be harmless or good.'

A few minutes later Vibeke said: 'When I was twelve or thirteen I spent a lot of time away from home though my foster-father was barely aware of it. I could have hung out with other kids of my age but most seemed too different to me and the wild and trouble-making ones not interesting at all. Mostly I just went on very long walks, along streets or to the woods near where I lived. I just let my mind wander and to an extent I enjoyed the sense of freedom, though there was also a sense of bleakness within me that went quite deep - a sense that I had little to live for, for happiness seemed so rare and I did not imagine finding any real joy in my future.' She shrugged and smiled sheepishly as she looked into Ember's eyes. 'I certainly never imagined it was even possible to feel so good as I do since I met you. And sometimes I ended up walking through the rain and I quite liked that. Perhaps it fitted my tendency to brood. And I also remember a couple of times of being in the woods and standing under a tree in a torrential downpour and once in a storm that rivalled what we have just seen. I felt so alive then - a real energy that I so rarely felt back then. I loved the wind and the rushing water, the light and the noise. They were some of the best times of my youth I think.'

Vibeke and Ember were quieter then for a time. They finished cups of tea, and small portions of ice cream and melted chocolate, and slices of a rich, experimental chocolate cake that Ember had made.

Replete, they snuggled up together, Vibeke lying back on the sofa with her head on its padded arm, and Ember lying between her and the sofa back, on her side with her head upon Vibeke's shoulder and her arm wrapped about Vibeke's waist. It was a favourite position for them to cuddle or to sleep and they both found themselves smiling in blissful contentment as they lay there. They had draped the thin blanket over their lower bodies and listened to the steady, heavy rain and intermittent thunder.

After a while they drifted and fell into light and pleasant sleep.

---------

They awoke after an hour or so - Vibeke just a little before Ember. She watched her love for a little while and smiled when, after a few minutes, Ember's deep and steady breathing changed and her eyes fluttered open and looked up into her own.

It was still raining and the rain did not seem to be any lighter than it had been when they had fallen asleep. For a few minutes they lay where they were, but then Vibeke looked down and smiled gently as she rubbed Ember's arm and back, holding her close. 'Would you like to go to bed with me?' she asked.

Ember snuggled a little closer. 'I would like that very much,' she said and Vibeke did not miss the apparently unconscious and happy sensuous purr to her voice.

Ember :

I ran my hands over your body. For a long time I kissed and explored your lips and mouth. I caressed and suckled upon your breasts. I lost myself in you, in the beauty of you, in your soft moans of pleasure, my touches and caresses bringing such pleasure to us both. I slid over your body, your thigh against my centre and mine against yours until we found release even as we knew it was just the beginning, a small delightment that promised so much more.

We bathed together by candlelight. We scrubbed each other and you washed my hair. We played with the bubbles that foamed thickly and deeply from the bubble bath. We laughed sometimes, or just looked at each other or touched each other with such tenderness and seriousness that I felt so open it was as if you could feel the deepest parts of me and I could feel the deepest parts of you - and I think that is what happened. I still feel the echoes of it, quiet thunder in the depths of my heart.

Outside it still rained hard, the light gradually dimming with the oncoming evening and the steady flow of heavy clouds.

We returned to our bed and loved each other's bodies and each other's openness. We kissed, tenderly and passionately. Later I felt as if I drowned in happiness, lost in rapture as I drank in your essence, kissed you deeply between your legs, buried my face in your centre. We rose and fell over the peaks of ecstasy. I fell asleep with my head upon your centre and you with your head upon my thigh - hardly the first time we have done that.

I awoke before you in the dead of night. Carefully, gently, I crawled around and sat up cross-legged beside you, looking down at you. You had slid your head onto your pillow and the white-gold sheets were partly draped and tangled over you as you lay on your side. Your mussed hair partly fell across your face and I brushed it back with my fingers, making you stir slightly but not awakening you. For a long time I simply watched you as you slept, your chest rising and falling, fascinated by the movement of your breasts, fascinated by the shifting of your ribs beneath your skin. I thought I could see the smallest smile tug at your lips sometimes even as you slumbered and the thought that you were happy even in your sleep made me feel so very good.

Your face is so beautiful. I could not ever fail to see the beauty in it for it mirrors that which is within you and which I love so much. I feel that I am always perceiving more, experiencing more about you from moment to moment and each look and expression fascinates me and seems never to be repeated. Rather they seem to be endless and infinite variations on the theme that is you.

It is the dead of night and only one candle still remains alight in the room. And I sit and watch you, wondering and amazed.

And then, after almost an hour, I see you stir and awaken. You look up at me with a slow and contented smile. Then you turn onto your back and reach for me and draw me down on top of you, my breast to your mouth. For a long time you suckle upon me, kneading my flesh, making heat flood across my chest and liquid fire well deep in my belly and between my legs.

You wrap your arms around my chest and pull me hard against you, taking my other breast into your mouth. I relax, going limp but for the trembling of pleasure that overcomes me, knowing that you will lead me to those places of bliss that I so desire: the places where we are one, nothing separating us, knowing nothing but each other.

Vibeke :

The days and nights pass blissfully. Sometimes when we are together in our love, sharing ecstasies and delight, lost in each other, it is as if time disappears altogether as if we are held eternally in out togetherness. And though I know that this wonderful week will be over too soon, I will remember every moment and know that thinking about it will bring me such a sense of tenderness and love and desire for you. And I know that we will have many more weeks like this. It is amazing, how our physical pleasures and the deeps of our emotions, our vulnerable selves and our love have all become one.

We sleep at strange times and wake at strange times. Outside the rain does not stop though the lightning is only occasional and the thunder rare and muted. We rise and bathe together, taking a long time washing each other in a kind of ritual that we have grown to enjoy so much. Sometimes we give each other long massages with delicately scented oils.

We exercise in the garage, usually together, until we are exhausted and then return inside through the rain - stopping outside a couple of times and just standing in the falling water and enjoying it, the heat of our exertion keeping us warm and making the rain a simple pleasure. Back indoors we shower and then, our muscles aching, we curl up on the sofa and watch a movie or a nature documentary, and eat and good meal. Usually we fall asleep in each other's arms on the sofa. When we wake again we feel our desire for each other welling again within us, an opening bloom of liquid yearning and tenderness.

--------

After three days the rain eases to a fine drizzle. In the early morning we pack small backpacks, then leave the house as the sky is getting light - still grey, damp, with mist lying low over the garden and the fields and the road.

I drive and you sit quietly in the passenger seat. I can feel a very pleasant mood of alertness and quietness upon us. I feel very good and I can see you do too as you look out at the passing landscape, the road and the villages, the pub and shops we drive past in a twisting valley. The roads are quiet at first because of the early hour. Though the rain continues to fall it is little more than mist now.

It is mist that seems most to define the world around us. There is no wind and in many places wide swathes of mist cover the near distances, hanging ethereal and mysterious over the damp ground, obscuring trees and sometimes obscuring the road so that I have to drive very slowly.

A few times we see rabbits dart across the road in front of us, or away from the grassy verges and into the hedgerows or the undergrowth of woodland. Then, from between tall trunks of beech trees that seem like columns and the vault of a temple about them, we see two deer, standing and facing towards us. After a few seconds of perfect stillness they turn as one and bound away from the noise of the car.

After a little more than an hour we reach the stretch of coastline that we have been heading for, about forty miles to the west of where we live. I park the car at the side of the road and turn the engine off.

We can hear the sea from here, waves breaking upon the rocks. Otherwise everything is silent. Climbing out into the amazingly still air, we look about us at the grey and beautiful morning. Though there is some mist inland and a little over the sea itself there is no rain. We put our small backpacks upon our shoulders and take a cliff path up a gentle slope.

For a while we walk along the clifftops. Both of us are wearing jeans and walking boots and t-shirts. At first we wear pullovers as well against the cool, damp morning but soon enough we take them off. The day will be warm.

After two miles or so we walk down a narrow, rocky and probably infrequently used path to a beach in a deep cove. We walk down soft, wet sand to hard-packed, rippled sand closer to the water. The tide is out, and we stand close to where the waves come in, hand in hand, looking out across the grey waves.

We walk around small, rocky headland to another cove and decide to stop for our breakfast. We are both hungry now and all we had after getting up was a couple of cups of tea.

We find a good place to put a small plastic sheet upon the damp sand, and sit down. We share sandwiches, chocolate biscuits and coffee. We do not say much but look out at the brightening day, gaze at the expanse of sea and listen to the roll and hiss of the waves. I wonder if the sun will break through later.

Sometimes I steal glances at you, but when you look back at me - knowing I was looking at you - I simply look more openly, as you look at me. The fair skin of your lovely face is lightly tanned. Your eyes seem almost luminous around the darkness of your pupils. You look into my eyes and smile.

At length we get to our feet and continue our walk. Above us the cliffs of red and grey rock loom higher and fall away. Sometimes we stop by a rockpool and I though I am interested in what we may find - limpets and barnacles, anemones, shells and drifting seaweed, it is your interest that most fascinates me. I wonder if you are searching for something or simply looking at the wonders of these pools.

You collect a few shells and stones as we go. I suspect you will not bring them home with us but simply wish to treasure them for the day. Perhaps at the end of our walk we can look at them together and see if we would like to keep a few of them.

About three miles from the car we come to another cove that has small dunes and tough grasses at the back, and a stream curling down to the sea. The cliffs are low and rounded here, sloped rather than vertical. There are yellow flowers of some of the bushes. It is a lovely place and we find ourselves walking up and down by the sea a few times rather than continuing on or heading back.

'We live quiet lives,' you say after a time of silence.

I think about this. 'Yes, we do,' I say after a little while. 'In some ways at least.'

'Our lives are quiet but very rich,' you say and I can hear the smile in your voice.

'Yes,' I agree. 'Does it bother you at all that we do not have more adventures, more strivings? I sometimes think about all the things that some people do. There are those who are ambitious and have impressive careers. There are others that raise families, which must be very hard work. There are those who travel all over the world. There are some who are famous and wealthy and whose lives are very intense. There are even some who try to have everything. Yet we have lived in the same place for quite some time now, and though the nature of our jobs has changed a little it has certainly not been dramatic,'

You take my hand and give it a little squeeze. 'No, it doesn't bother me,' you say. 'Not at all. I'm glad that most of my work is freelance now and not through Evelyn, but it has not had much impact on anything. And I don't think I would like to live a very stressful life or even a particularly adventurous one. I suppose that people who experience extremes of hardship and striving have a different perspective on things but it is not something I want. I feel so happy when I simply sit by a flowerbed in our garden in the sun and watch the daisies bobbing in the wind that I do not wish for anything else - except you.' You look at me and a beaming smile lights up your face. 'It is really true that it is you that makes the daisies most beautiful.'

I smile and laugh gently. 'That sounds like an exaggeration but I feel the same way,' I say. 'When you are not with me because you are at work or at the shops or something, it is still you that determines much of my perception.'

We walk on for a few minutes then turn and come back again. We are barefoot now, carrying our walking boots. We walk a little through the edge of the chill waves, letting the water run over our feet and away again.

'Sometimes I am very aware of how our moods change,' I say. 'There are times I feel contemplative, as if darker times from the past are welling up within me. I don't usually feel bad. Although there are those days when I wake in a bad mood for no reason except that I must have slept badly or something like that.'

'I am quiet too sometimes. Occasionally I feel rather emotional, a sense of falling, almost a kind of grief though I never know where it comes from. As if I am remembering losing something a long time ago even though I have found it again.' You shrug slightly and there is humour in your eyes. 'I'm glad that we still get on well even when our moods are not great. We have become very good at saying when we feel irritable or when we want space, or when doing something - or not doing something - is important to us. Or even unimportant.'

We stop near sloping rocks where the meet the tiny range of dunes. We set down our packs and boots. From my pack I take out a frisbee. 'I thought I'd bring this along,' I say with a grin.

Your eyes light up. 'Oh, I didn't know you had one!'

'Just bought it last week,' I say. 'I saw it in the shop and thought about what we might do this week. We were throwing a tennis ball around a couple of weeks ago but this might be a bit different.'

'You chose a yellow one.'

'I thought it looked good,' I agree.

We go back towards the sea. We have plenty of space and for a while we throw the frisbee back and forth. We throw it straight to each other at first but then begin to curve its path more ambitiously once we get the hang of it. We miss our throws sometimes and find ourselves running around quite a lot. I like this kind of easy exercise and I can see that you do too.

I love watching you as you run, as you catch, as you throw; as you bend to the water to pick the frisbee up. You are always graceful, always strong and beautiful.

A little out of breath, we return to the dunes and sit down. We drink some water and eat oranges, sandwiches and slices of banana cake.

'It's so good we came here,' you say.

'Yes, it really is.'

The sand here is mostly dry now but we place our lightweight raincoats and our sheet of plastic down so that we can lie down together without getting wet. For an hour and a half we lie down together, your head on my shoulder and your arm wrapped about my waist, my arms about you. We doze in the warmth or simply lie awake, drifting and happy.

Eventually, after sitting quietly again for a time, we pack up our things and head back the way we came.

---------

We stop at a country pub about five miles from home. It is a pleasant place, a converted farmhouse I think, old with many black wooden beams and rather sagging roofs. We sit outside in the garden, which is above the level of the main building. There are four tables and some benches but we are the only people there. We can look down over the road and into a small village. In the distance I can see the curve of a river.

I drink a mug of hot chocolate and you savour half a pint of stout.

'You seemed so absorbed in the painting you were working on last week,' I say. 'I like watching you when you are like that.'

'I like it when you watch me,' you say, looking down but smiling gently, almost as if you are slightly shy about admitting that you like having an audience when you are working on some art. But I think that you must know that you are good and I am sure you know it brings me much pleasure.

'It amazes me how sure you are of what you do. The way each brush-stroke or movement of pencil or charcoal catches something so perfectly.' I am always amazed. 'Do you think you enjoy it more or less as time passes and you get older?'

You consider this for a while though I know that you have thought about it before. I take a sip of my hot chocolate and appreciate it. It was a good choice.

'I don't know,' you say at length. 'It is different. I always enjoyed painting or drawing but the experience has changed a great deal. As a child it was just fun. As a teenager I was trying to master what I could. Then I was exploring different ideas and styles. I often felt that I wanted to develop what I knew in a more powerful way, to evoke emotions more strongly. But then I discarded some ways of portraying things and I think my artwork has become more subtle, more delicate. But also, to me, more interesting. Perhaps not quite as striking, perhaps slightly less passionate even - or at least more understated.' A frown crosses your brow. 'I think that I am repeating myself more now. Actually I know I am. I don't have to. I am sure I could do something really new, attempt a style that I have never tried before. But what is most important at the moment is working with the style I have come to like most. I think most of what I have painted and drawn for the last two years has mostly been variations on a theme rather than anything very new. Although, the variations are never the same. I think it is the portrayal of what most clearly reflects me, what is closest to my heart and self that is important. I do not want to create artwork that is loud or brash and impresses others. I want to explore the littleness of what I most like, the variations on the little things that define me or which I am.'

You fall silent and I think about the truths of what you have said. I suspect that it reveals something of why we are so deeply happy and remain so even though our lives are quite stable and quite quiet. Somehow the entirety of me responds to you in the most amazingly deep way and I can see that you respond to me just as strongly. I know that I am much more interested in small variations and expressions of yours than I could possibly be in anyone or anything else, no matter how different or dramatic they might be.

I wonder how to express this. Then I think I will try to write it down more clearly. I will give it to you to read and at the same time give you a yellow flower.

I realise that you are staring at me and as I look into your eyes I can see desire there. It takes a moment for your gaze to fall from my lips to watching me breathe, the rise and fall of my chest, then back up to my eyes. You blush very faintly when you realise I am watching you.

We smile at each other.

'Let's go home,' you say then, reaching out and taking my hand. 'Can I perhaps interest you in showering together? And then I would like to explore and cover your body with tender kisses and caresses.'

We stand and head for the car.

---------

Chapter Thirty

Tension and Relaxation

Saturday 7th August, Year 5 :

Ember knocked on the door and it was a minute before Mrs Waechter opened it. She was wiping her hands on her apron looking quite flustered but she still managed a smile, clearly glad that they were there.

'Hello girls, come on in,' she said and tucked a stray lock of grey hair behind her ear. 'I'm just putting the finishing touches to a couple of desserts.' She gave each of them a quick hug as they entered.

'We've brought a couple of salads if we can leave them somewhere,' Ember said as they followed her into the kitchen.

'That's great, let me just find a space for them.' Mrs Waechter took the covered dishes into the dining room and set them on the table, then returned. 'Would you two like a cup tea?'

'I'm all right for the moment thank you,' Vibeke said.

'Me too,' said Ember. 'How's it going?'

Mrs Waechter chuckled. 'I'm not as quick as I used to be,' she said. 'I found myself forgetting where I'd put some things. But I think it'll all be done on time. Anyway, none of my friends will mind if I'm a bit disorganised.' As she spoke she opened the oven to check a couple of cakes that were baking. 'And how are you two?'

Ember and Vibeke glanced at each other and smiled happily. 'Oh, we're doing very well thank you,' said Ember. Then, turning back to Mrs Waechter she said: 'What time do you think is best for serving up the main course? It'll take a little while to get the barbecue set up and going and then for everything to cook.'

'I think we should aim for about one o'clock,' Mrs Waechter replied. 'My friends are all early risers and usually eat lunch a bit before that, but they'll probably be chatting non-stop and drinking sherries so it'll be a while before they settle down anyway. Although I hope Arthur isn't going to get drunk before he's even eaten anything.'

'Is there anything we can do before we get the barbeque going?' Vibeke asked.

'Well, if you could just take some chairs and the dining room table outside and set them up on the patio. And then put cloths on the tables and set out the cutlery and place mats, glasses and water and wine. That'll be a great help.'

'All right, we'll do that. Just call us if you need help with anything else.'

For the next little while Vibeke and Ember set out the tables and places, and once they were done carried out what food they could - salads, covered bread in baskets, butter and a few pickles and sauces, salt and pepper and vinegar.

Ember looked up as Vibeke set down two full jugs of water with lemon slices. She found herself smiling as she watched her. 'Sorry my love,' she said softly.

'You're quite amused by me aren't you?' Vibeke said good-naturedly, returning the smile.

'Well . . . Your stoicism is impressive but also rather painful to watch.' Ember came around the end of the patio table and bumped her with her hip.

'I'm sorry. Damn, I hope Mrs Waechter doesn't see how morose I can sometimes be.'

'It's all right. She probably knows you don't actually like gatherings like this and what goes into them. We don't have to stay very long and I'm sure she really appreciates you being here for a bit and helping out.'

'I wish I could say I was looking forward to it but I think I'll just feel a bit uncomfortable and wish I could escape. Getting the barbecue going and cooking will be all right though. I can enjoy that. Maybe while I'm tending it I won't have to make small talk with the guests.'

'You look great you know,' Ember said, holding Vibeke's hand and leaning back a little to look her up and down. Vibeke was wearing a new pair of black jeans that fit her hips and long legs very pleasingly, black ankle boots that were well-shaped, a belt with a silver buckle and a fairly tight-fitting, high-necked sleeveless black t-shirt. Unusually for Vibeke she was wearing silver stud earrings as well. She had tied her hair back in a plait. 'Elegant and relaxed, sexy without being provocative,' Ember mused.

'You look great yourself,' Vibeke replied, taking a long moment to enjoy the sight of Ember in a long white summer dress that brushed the ground. The skirt was loose while the top tapered and had thin shoulder straps. Ember was wearing some black and white make up around her eyes that made them even more stunning and remarkable. Her light blonde hair was brushed loosely, a little longer than usual, framing her face and touching her shoulders. She was wearing a necklace, bracelets, earrings, rings - and an anklet - of silver with many small stones of blue and red and some small silver spheres that jingled a little like bells. The look was quite exotic.

---------

Vibeke was setting out some of the chicken drumsticks and thighs at the back of the barbecue when the first guests arrived. She had moved the portable barbecue off the patio and onto the lawn at one side of the garden to keep too much smoke away from people. She looked up when Ember brought her a large glass of water.

'Thank you my love,' she said.

'You're more than welcome,' Ember said as she took a sip from her own glass. She looked around. 'The weather is really improving. It was a bit chilly this morning. I'm glad the sun is out.'

Vibeke nodded, then glanced at an elderly couple who were just coming out through the patio doors into the sunshine. They were quite well wrapped up, wearing summer coats.

---------

'Hello Vibeke,' said a rather distinguished man who was about seventy-five years old. He was wearing a casual beige suit, white shirt and striped tie. Vibeke suspected he had been wearing a fedora when had come here and that only Mrs Waechter's quick grab for it explained why he had taken it off. His thinning grey hair was brushed straight back and a fine network of broken capillaries darkened his nose and cheeks a little. He regarded her with humorous brown eyes through his small, round glasses. He was quite a handsome man despite his years, his drinking habits and his fondness for cigars.

'Hi there Arthur. How are you doing?' Vibeke grinned at him. She rather liked the old man - he was something of a character and she admired that he had a reputation for doing things his own way and living his own life no matter the disapproval of others. As well as being quite the wit and raconteur he was in any case completely harmless, so she did not really understand why a few of the more uptight older people of the community disapproved of him.

'Better for seeing a beauty such as you,' he said and gave her a little bow. Then he adopted a self-deprecating look. 'I really am predictable. Sorry about the obviousness of what I just said but it is actually true.'

'No problem Arthur.'

'You need any help there Vibeke?' He leaned in. 'Although I would understand it if you want to keep as busy as possible so as not to have to make polite chitchat to all the old duffers around here.'

Vibeke laughed at that, thinking that perhaps the afternoon would not be so bad after all. These people were kind at the least. 'I'm fine,' she said. 'How's the golf going?'

'Well, it's good and I've done better this year than I was doing at this time last year. Although, I'd had a few before the last interclub match and didn't do so well then. I don't think my team mates were very pleased with me. Although I think they're also rather jealous that when I go home three sheets to the wind I don't get yelled at for it.'

'Arthur? Did you ever want to get married?' Vibeke asked then. She knew it was a very direct question but thought that he would not mind.

He looked quite sombre at this and looked down, nodding to himself as he thought. 'Ah, well . . . I'd like to say that I just enjoyed the bachelor lifestyle too much to want to give it up, but that wouldn't be quite honest. No, I did meet a really good woman when I was about forty. I really liked her and we spent a couple of years together but in the end after I asked her to marry me, she said she didn't feel the same way I did. I never did learn quite why. I didn't drink so much then and I had a pretty good job. I guess it's impossible to say exactly why people are attracted to each other and I suppose she just wasn't. Anyway, I did go out with a few women after that. It was fun and I liked them all, but I couldn't find what I wanted.' He gave her a small shrug and smiled, clearly not feeling sorry for himself but just being straightforward. 'You and Ember seem to be doing well,' he said then.

'Yes, it's really amazing,' Vibeke replied, unable and not wishing to stop the big smile that came to her face at the thought of Ember.

'It really makes me happy to see two people so much in love,' Arthur said. 'I know you don't make a show of it in public but I can see the way you two look at each other. I wonder if light does actually shine out of your eyes.'

Vibeke regarded him for a long moment. 'You're a good man Arthur. Thank you.'

'Here, let me get out of your way now. Mrs Waechter's coming over with some plates for you to dish up. Maybe I can take the opportunity to sneak indoors and grab myself another sherry without her noticing and scolding me.'

----------

Vibeke and Ember ate sitting upon a low wall at one side of the patio. Their plates were piled high with food. The gathering was full of chatter and laughter. A couple of the older people were being looked after, though Ember guessed they felt a little isolated from the conversations going on around them because of deafness or difficulty taking part.

'I enjoyed talking with Charlie,' Ember said. Charlie was a woman of late middle-age with greying blonde hair. She still had some of her looks and must have been quite attractive as a younger woman. She was something of an eccentric and was a very gifted musician.

'I noticed that she and Alexis cornered you.'

Ember snorted softly. 'Alexis, yes. I really don't like the way she stands so close, stares straight at you and speaks intensely at high speed about the most banal things, all the while backing you up until you're against a wall and moving sideways. Someone should tell her, but they'd have to have more courage than me. I think she'd get angry.'

'Any scandals to amuse us?' Vibeke asked.

'To tell the truth I was mostly just nodding politely and barely listening. I think she said something about changing her cat's diet.' Stabbing some lettuce with a fork, she ate it and then reached across and patted Vibeke's hand. 'Glad you weren't there. Although, being rather taller than her I wonder if you could out-intimidate her without being rude.'

They ate in silence for a time.

'This is really well cooked you know,' Ember said then, pointing to the chicken and sausage and barbecued skewer of peppers and onions on her plate. You did an excellent job.'

'Thank you.' Vibeke found a curious pleasure in the moment. She did not like gatherings like this and knew that for some of the next hour and more she would probably be making polite conversation. But it was obvious that the people there were enjoying themselves and were pleased with the party and the afternoon and each other, and that meant a lot. 'You know, it's a shame I can't just be myself when talking to a lot of people,' she said. 'I'd like to be sincere all the time but that would hurt some of these people and come across as rude. I'd be letting them know that I do not want to listen to them and do not want to speak to them. So I pretend, with politeness as a mask of faked sincerity, a social lie for the most part. But I don't want to hurt anyone.'

'I don't think it would be constructive or helpful to be genuine all the time with all people,' Ember agreed. 'There's not a lot we can do. Let's see how it goes. I wouldn't mind betting Mrs Waechter will tell us we shouldn't feel obliged to stay at some stage. And then maybe, if we can get a court, we might go and play tennis?'

Vibeke looked sideways at her, grinning at the slightly surprising suggestion. 'You know, that is an excellent idea.'

* * *

Vibeke and Ember had been playing tennis on a semi-regular basis since the spring. They still considered themselves beginners - though Ember harboured more than a suspicion that Vibeke would become very good very quickly if she were to push herself. She was also aware that Vibeke did not reveal just how much talent she had when they were on court simply because she wanted to have a good time with Ember and have plenty of rallies rather than simply beating her.

There were two sets of courts that they played at. One was at the edge of one of Otterhampton's parks and had to be booked and paid for while the other was close to where they lived and anyone could play there for free - but there was no way to book.

They went home to change and did so quickly. Vibeke always thought that Ember looked great in her white shorts and randomly-coloured t-shirt, white socks and tennis shoes. Then they drove to the courts nearest them and were pleased to find that no one was there.

It was just before seven o'clock when they stepped on court. The sun was low and golden in the hazy sky, low streaks of cloud beneath it over the horizon. The air was very still and seemed tinged a golden-green colour by sunlight and oak trees. It was a beautiful evening.

Vibeke closed the gate after them, then they set down their bottles of water, racket covers and tennis ball tins. With rackets and tennis balls in hand they moved to opposite sides of the court - for some reason they had got into the habit of Vibeke playing first on the northern side and Ember playing first on the southern side, though they would swap regularly from then on.

The knocked up, Vibeke being careful to hit the ball repeatedly into a good place on Ember's forehand, then repeatedly to a good place on her backhand. After a while she varied between the two. She loved watching the way that Ember moved. She was graceful and strong and looked great even though she was not yet a particularly good player.

They practised serving after a while, and then they played a set. Vibeke did not try to win but simply to prolong the rallies and to send Ember to different parts of the court - though not so much that she could not reach the ball. Vibeke knew that Ember was no match for her should she play to win. She also knew that, should she play a much better player, it would be a very different experience. But the truth was she was not really interested in testing herself and did not feel particularly attracted to competitive sport - she never had despite her talent. She was much more interested in playing just with Ember and enjoyed it enormously.

They played a second set and a third, each lasting quite some time. After an hour and a half Ember - who had done rather more running than Vibeke - was quite tired. Still they played for another half hour because she wanted to and was really enjoying it.

The light was fading by the time they called it a day. They gathered up the balls and returned to the gate and Vibeke gave Ember a big hug.

'I am a bit sweaty,' Ember said, giggling as Vibeke span her around.

'You are flushed and sexy.'

They drained the last of their bottles of water and then returned to the car.

'That was just great!' Ember said. 'You really know how to give me a workout! I feel quite weary now but it feels so pleasant.'

'I had a great time too,' Vibeke said, looking at Ember and grinning as she turned the key and the engine started. 'You look really good you know. You look full of life. And I really love watching you play.'

'You've said that before and I know you mean it but . . . Well, I'm really not very good. I know I keep mis-hitting the ball, which must be a bit tiring for you.'

'But you do look good. When you run, when you reach for the ball, when you hit. I find your double-handed forehands and backhands good to watch because of the way you bend and turn. You have a natural balance about you.'

'I like watching you too,' Ember said. 'I always have, whenever you move or exercise.' Then, with a little poke to her side: 'Or sleep, or love me.'

Vibeke smiled at that and they drove home.

'How about a shower, a light tea and then watching TV or a movie?' Vibeke suggested.

'Sounds good to me,' Ember replied.

----------

Chapter Thirty-One

The Graveyard and the Pier

Friday 3rd June, Year 6 :

'What a beautiful day!' Ember sighed. She stretched languidly, her folded arms above her head in the confines of the car, then settled back again and propped her bare feet up over the glove compartment.

Vibeke glanced at her and grinned as she took in her lithe form, her sleekly muscled legs, her shapely feet. Ember was tanned from the early summer sun and was wearing cream shorts and a light green t-shirt. A silver bracelet flashed with sunlight at her wrist. 'It certainly is,' Vibeke said, looking at the sweeping curve of the road ahead.

They were in Pembrokeshire in southwest Wales. Their route took them past pleasant fields and hedgerows, then more open country of rounded hills with rock outcroppings where flocks of sheep could be seen grazing, and often they came close to the cliffs and bays of the coast and could look out across the expanse of blue-grey sea.

Looking out the passenger window, Ember said: 'Otterhampton is over there across the water. I wonder if I'm looking directly at it. Maybe your Clyde the Cat slippers and my rabbit slippers have climbed up onto the window sill on the north side of the living room. And they're looking directly towards us - even if their view is blocked by trees and a few hills - and wondering when we'll be coming back.'

'I think that is in fact quite likely,' Vibeke concurred.

'Are you convinced yet that your new Clyde the Cat slippers are actually the reincarnation of your last pair?' Ember asked. 'I know it was very sad that you had to give them up but they were rather falling apart.'

'I think you were right,' Vibeke said happily. 'I think they do have the same souls as the first pair.' Looking across at Ember with a smile she said: 'Your rabbit slippers are just your second pair? Or are they the latest in a long and ancient dynasty?'

'Oh, very much just the latest in a dynasty. Although I don't think I'm old enough for it to be really ancient.' Ember giggled suddenly. 'I just had an image come to me of me being reincarnated from some ancient Egyptian woman that lived about four thousand years ago. I think the rest of the ancient Egyptians would have been a bit puzzled to see her walking around in rabbit slippers.'

Vibeke chuckled. 'Although if I'd been alive then too, I'd have just been charmed.'

They drove on in silence for a little while and Vibeke had to slow as the road turned and sloped sharply down into the southern edge of a village.

'That's a really pretty church,' Ember remarked as they passed a solitary shop and a few houses and the place of worship came into view just a little up the steep hill, trees in full leaf hiding some of it.

Vibeke turned the car up the narrow road leading to the church and parked in a small open area before the fence and gate that enclosed the church grounds. 'Let's have a look,' she said.

'Good idea,' said Ember. 'I've always liked going into churches. I mean, I know I don't believe in it all but they can still be really inspiring places. They're good for making one feel kind of small, and wondering.'

Vibeke turned off the engine and they climbed out. The air was soft and warm but not hot, the sunshine bright and clear, the sky a very deep blue that Vibeke usually associated most with spring mornings.

'Wow, it's so quiet,' Ember breathed.

Vibeke listened. There was no sound of traffic at all. They could only hear a little birdsong and some rustling in the undergrowth, perhaps from a bird or squirrel or mouse. There was no wind at all. Scents of growing things and earth, warmth and dampness were in the air.

Vibeke locked the car and Ember looped her arm through hers. She looked into her lovely face and smiled and saw that look of childlike wonder that she loved so much in her.

'Let's go,' Ember said very softly.

They went through the gate and closed it behind them. Around them most of the churchyard was obscured by a lot of undergrowth, bushes and grass that had grown unchecked for a while - though not so much that they would not be able to make their way around. There were many old-looking trees around the church too, blending in with the woodland that climbed the hill behind it. Hawthorn and oak seemed to dominate.

The church itself was not large and seemed to be very old. Its walls were of stones of irregular sizes, mostly quite flat, mortared atop one another. The roof was sagging and tiled with slate. An old bell was visible under the pointed roof of the small spire. The windows were not large and two of them were slightly obscured by climbing plants.

They tried the door and found it open. There was a little entrance area with some curled and faded notices pinned to a noticeboard, then a stone archway that opened into the fairly small space of pews and the centre aisle.

They walked around for a few minutes. They looked at the designs of the stained glass windows - those behind the altar were very simple, almost childish in their portrayals, but they were still attractive and moving. They read some of the names and date and epitaphs upon a few stone slabs upon the floor on northern side of the church, and upon one of the walls. There were friezes on two walls, both of them cracked and faded, the plaster fallen away in places, but it could be seen that they portrayed scenes from the story of the Passion. There was a large bible upon the lectern and it was open. Stopping by it they looked at the simple illuminations that decorated the text and the ornate gold ribbon that lay between the pages. They did not look through it though.

They walked back to the entrance. There were prayer books and hymn books stacked on a table near a collection box. Ember dropped a coin into the box. Then they walked out of the church into sunlight and shadow.

'Let's walk around,' Ember said.

'I'd like that.'

Hand in hand they made their way along a rather poorly tended path that led around the west side of the church, then threaded their way among the graves and looked at some of the gravestones. Many were partly hidden by weeds and undergrowth, brambles and saplings.

Ember stopped at a stone that was laid flat upon the ground - there was no upright headstone. She squatted and brushed away a little moss and ran her fingers over worn text cut into the stone.

'I think that says Cuthbert,' she said. 'I can't make out the surname. And . . . eighteen twenty-one?'

She stood again and they looked down at the stone.

'I wonder if anyone alive now knows anything about who he was,' Ember said. Then she looked up at Vibeke and said: 'I know that's a very ordinary remark. I know that so many people wonder if they'll be remembered, and other people look at their family histories in great detail, trying to learn as much as they can about the people they're descended from. And there are others who don't care about who went before but want to be acclaimed in the present. But I rather like the way that being in a place like this makes me feel. I feel a kind of sadness to know that everything passes, that these graves are all that is left of these people and in many cases they are just forgotten. I feel a sadness for us too. At some stage we'll be gone - though I hope we die together because losing you would just break me in half and I think you'd feel the same if I was to go first. But also feel a kind of relief when I think that we're just so small. I don't suppose death is anything at all. It's nothing to fear.'

Vibeke gave Ember's shoulder a squeeze. 'We are so lucky,' she said softly.

'Yes,' Ember replied quietly, looking up into Vibeke's eyes. She smiled and there was much emotion in her amazing, limpid gaze. 'We are very lucky.'

Taking their time they made their way onwards around the graveyard. It was a little larger than they had expected. There were headstones that were tilted over by the roots of trees and a few that had fallen completely. Some were almost completely hidden by undergrowth. Though some of the inscriptions were obscured they were able read others. They found themselves intrigued by some of the dates and the names. A few of the dead had lived long lives but some had died very young, including a few children.

At length they returned to the car, in quiet and contemplative mood. Once they had climbed in and closed the doors and buckled up, Vibeke did not start the engine immediately but turned to Ember and laid her hand on her leg and simply looked into her lovely visage.

Ember looked back with great tenderness. 'Let's lie together,' Ember said. 'Or be cremated together and have our ashes sprinkled on a hillside together. I know we'll just be dead. But I like the idea anyway. Being with you until even our remains are gone.'

'I like that idea too. But let's live long and happy lives first.' She smiled then. 'I love being with you. I'd like to know this happiness for a long time.'

'Me too.'

Vibeke put started the engine. After slowly turning the car around and heading back into the tiny village she said: 'Right now, let's see if we can find a nice place to walk and perhaps a beach to have our picnic lunch at.'

Saturday 4th :

The following afternoon they found themselves in the town of St Ewan's. They had stopped there when they had spotted a grocery and decided to buy a couple of pasties, some bread and cheese and olives that they thought would be good.

'It's quite busy here,' Ember said as they emerged from the shop with a full plastic bag of good food - including some fairly decadent-looking chocolates and cookies.

There were indeed quite a lot of pedestrians and many of them seemed to be tourists. Children chattered in high voices and held their parents hands and carried windmills or candyfloss or buckets and spades. Parents looked either irritated and tired and struggling, or in some cases really enjoying their family day by the beach.

'There's a pier here,' Vibeke said. 'Maybe that's one of the reasons this place is popular. Would you like to walk around for a little while?'

'All right. It'll be different for us. Because we often try to avoid people and crowds we probably miss out on interesting attractions sometimes.'

For a while they strolled through the streets of the old town. The centre was pretty, its shops mostly converted cottages. There were a lot of thatched bungalows with rounded and irregular walls, mostly painted white. There were drystone walls. The main street winding through the centre was rather narrow, so cars had to go quite slowly. There were a few narrower streets with tiny shops leading off the main way, and a cobbled stone square of sorts just for pedestrians - though it was more round than square. A stage was set up and some children were practising some kind of musical performance.

'I wonder what those kids feel,' Ember said as they left the area.

'What do you mean?' Vibeke asked. She had caught the contemplativeness in Ember's voice.

'I was just remembering when I was a kid and the teachers at school organised Christmas nativity plays, or a sequence of songs and sketches we did one summer, and a play that we once did. It was strange. The songs and sketches were really fun because we had a good teacher organising things and she was really imaginative. I think most of the children enjoyed it all. I also remember one teacher that was bad-tempered and let us know it, clearly thinking that it was our fault that she had to do what she clearly thought was a waste of time. I also remember the parents when we gave our performances. The kids from the orphanage were very aware that they were different from other children then, though the house mother always came. I think the parents enjoyed some of the sketches and rooting for their children. I also think they were largely bored. I was just wondering if those children in the square were enjoying themselves, or wondering what they were doing there, and if their performance would be good or bad and what the parents would feel - if they would be proud or not.'

'Did you like being on stage when you were a child?' Vibeke asked.

'I didn't mind. I didn't feel afraid.' Ember gave a little shrug and a sheepish smile. 'Actually I think the teachers and audience thought I was really cute.'

Vibeke chuckled. 'I have no doubt that you were. I've only seen a handful of photos of you as a child but you really did look rather angelic.'

'What about you? Did you like being on stage?'

Vibeke shook her head. 'No, I really didn't. I actually became pretty afraid of public speaking when I was a teenager. I wouldn't feel comfortable about it even now. Silly really.' But she smiled slightly. It did not disturb her now - she just accepted it as a quirk of who she was.

They walked a little away from the centre of town up a winding road that led over an abrupt and high ridge. Small houses were on either side, built on levels against the steep slope, mostly painted white. They stopped briefly at the summit to admire the view of the bay and the sea and the small pier that jutted out into the blue-grey waves. There were quite a lot of people on the sandy beaches to either side of the pier.

Heading onwards, the descended to an area of houses that looked like they had been built in the early twentieth century. They were mostly terraced and narrow and dark. They were the kind of homes that were often built close to factories throughout most of the country. Just ahead of them was an old area of docks - probably this had once been a fishing village.

Vibeke and Ember walked along the beach back towards the pier. It took a bit of clambering to make their way around the rocks at the end of the ridge but it was fun.

Soon they were walking past people who had set down towels on the sand and were lying sunbathing or sitting and talking, drinking and eating. A few people were paddling in the waves and a few were swimming. There were quite a few children - running and shouting, building sand castles or playing with beach balls or other toys. There were not many young adults or teenagers.

They climbed up the steps along the sea wall and approached the entrance of the pier. Walking in, they were surrounded by talking and laughter and shouts and music. Smells of frying and sugar, chips with vinegar and some grilling meat came to them. There were quite a lot of booths along the centre of the pier and then, at the end, a rounded area with a few rides for children - a small roller-coaster and a kind of merry-go-round with hanging chairs that swung outwards as it spun. There was also an indoor place with video games and a bar.

Vibeke and Ember reached the area of the rides, and leaned against the railing looking and looked out to sea, and down into the water where the waves broke against the metal pilings of the structure.

Ember laughed softly. 'I'm glad our slippers aren't here,' she said. 'They'd be traumatised.'

'That's true.' Vibeke chuckled too. 'I know this won't surprise you but you know, this place just isn't me. It was interesting to see but . . . shall we go?'

'Let's do that.'

---------

Two hours later, Vibeke and Ember were sitting on their picnic blanket on a grassy slope of a hill some way inland - though they could still see the sea as they were quite high up. The area around them was grazed by sheep. There were a few stunted trees that were shaped by the wind and there were many stands of large rocks and boulders. A gentle breeze drifted over them and the sun was warm against their skin.

'Do you feel like an alien sometimes?' Ember asked. Then she took a bite from one of the particularly decadent chocolate cookies they had bought earlier and happily munched it.

Vibeke had just taken a sip of water from a bottle. She grinned and swallowed. 'Well, yes,' she replied.

'Me too,' Ember said after a little while. 'Sometimes I used to imagine that I might one day find the ability to just fly up into the sky, to rush through space, to leap between planets and stars. To become something . . . more. Or to remember something that I should never have forgotten, some truth about me or the universe.' She shook her head. 'That sounds a bit silly I know.'

'Not really,' Vibeke replied. 'I've had notions like that too, and they are not unpleasant. But if you do learn to fly across deep space, I hope you'll be able to carry me too.'

Ember knew she was just being humorous but said: 'I couldn't stand being without you no matter the secrets of the universe. And you know, since I met you that feeling that I should become something more has mostly gone. With you, I am more.'

Vibeke looked into Ember's eyes and saw the depth of emotion revealed there. Then she made space for them on the blanket and took her in her arms and lay down.

Lying there on her back on the sunny hillside, holding Ember close, with Ember's head on her shoulder and her arm wrapped around her waist, Vibeke wondered, amazed as so often by the bliss of their connection and the endless tender warmth of their togetherness.

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Chapter Thirty-Two

Onwards

Tuesday 12th September, Year 18 :

Ember :

I stand at the kitchen window looking out. It is raining - not that rain is unusual here. For a little while I find myself absorbed by the shapes of the clouds overhead with their heavy bellies, the water falling from them, the light that shines between them yet which never seems to become as powerful as it promises. This is a land of shifting meanings that urge one to endless reflections and deep emotions.

The view is good. Others might have wished to buy a place with a commanding position, or a larger place near a main road. But we did not desire it and could not afford it. In fact I like the way that we seem to be always looking up from here. There are mountains on all sides and woodland to the south and southwest. There is a small loch two hundred yards to the northwest.

I smile as I recall the adventure of moving here. My dressmaking was going well and I was earning a good salary. And then suddenly I found myself without any work at all. I had been earning more than you for most of the time that we had known each other. It did not matter but it was strange to suddenly find myself dependent upon you and having to wonder if I would have to look for some other type of work altogether.

Moving to northern Scotland was something we had been thinking about for a long time. I am glad we did so, at least in terms of our home and the landscape that surrounds it.

Now I am glad that I am working as a dressmaker again. For a long while I was concerned about how you felt working as a commercial forester - planting and cutting varieties of pine that are of no interest to anyone except for their wood that can be used for furniture or other functions. And yet I have not seen much sadness in you about this despite your having said how often the work seems pointless. I know that you believe me when I tell you I would be happy to support you but I can also see that you are happy to make your own salary, no matter you lack of emotional connection to what it is that you do.

Sometimes your strength and stoicism and acceptance leave me amazed and wondering.

I hear your soft footsteps upon the rug that divides the kitchen from the dining room and I smile at your approach. I can hear that you are barefoot and I suspect that you are wearing a tank-top and shorts. I wait with anticipation, hoping that you will put your arms about me and hold me close from behind.

I am not disappointed. Leaning back against you, I enjoy your soft strength and inhale your scent and feel wrapped about with such a sense of safety and warmth.

Vibeke :

I brush out my damp hair - I have just emerged from a shower. Unusually you were awake quite a while before me today. Perhaps you are now sipping your morning tea and reading some abstract book, some esoteric novel at the kitchen table. I hope that you are enjoying your morning before we must go to work.

I glance out of the window. The light is grey and sombre and a light rain is falling. I am glad about it. I like how much it rains here. I most especially like the days and nights when the wind blows very hard and the rain hisses against the panes and we do not have to go out but can simply enjoy the cosiness of our home.

I will probably spend most of today outside but I do not mind. I think I am lucky to have the job I have. I like the physicality of it. I do not much enjoy the company of the other workers that sometimes work with me though they are friendly enough. I am happy you have managed to find the work you wanted here.

We were never very sociable but in moving here I think that we have become less so. I think we have become quieter as well. Yet I do not think we have become any less feeling or emotional. We have changed but it has not entailed a lessening of emotion or intensity. Rather, the contentment and oneness I feel with you on the simplest evening, as we eat together or watch television together or retreat to bed early so that we might make love at great and tender length sometimes amazes me with such a wash of meaning and profundity. I feel as if I might not be able to survive such poignancy. And yet you are there, holding me, and I marvel at how safe I feel and how you will never let me go, never let me fall.

I remove the towel that wrapped me about and return it to its customary rail in the bathroom - and I am struck by how many times, how many mornings and evenings I have hung it there, and how our lives' days repeat in so many ways - and how I am so happy with that repetition, for it is good. There are also small and pleasing variations. Back in our bedroom I slip into a black tank-top and grey shorts, then head for the kitchen. Maybe now you are standing, staring out at grey-draped mountains tinged with the purple of late heather.

Smiling, I make my way to the kitchen on the north side of the small house. I see you standing at the window and looking out and I suspect you know that I am there. I think you are waiting for me with some pleasure. Smiling more widely - I cannot help but do so, just as across all these years of being with you - I walk forwards and embrace you.

You lean back against me and I hear your gentle sigh of pleasure. I nuzzle your hair, then kiss you between your shoulder and neck. I love your scent and the soft warmth of your skin. I can feel the beating of your heart. I am very aware of your breathing.

'Ember,' I say. I love the sound of your name. I love saying it, feeling its shape upon my tongue and lips.

'Good morning Vibeke.' You reach back and hold me against you.

I feel such bliss.

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The End

I hope you enjoyed it. If you have a moment, drop me a line:

noumenal_rabbit@hotmail.com

Peace, happiness :-)

Icebard

**

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